#MicroblogMondays: Isn't it romantic?

So, this Saturday is Valentine's Day. Saturday nights are usually busy enough at the local restaurants, so I can just imagine what it will be like trying to get a table, even if we go early. :p  We are thinking of ordering in Chinese food.  Yep, this is what Valentine's Day looks like after 30+ years together, lol.  ;)  We usually don't buy each other presents, but we do exchange cards.

Our very first Valentine's Day came just a few weeks after we first started dating, at university, in January 1982. I don't remember what gifts we exchanged -- being broke students, I'm sure it wasn't anything too extravagant -- but I still have the cards we exchanged then (and every one since).  

I think my favourite Valentine's Day was a few years later, one of the first years we were married. We lived in a small, one-bedroom apartment in a renovated New York-ish brownstone building in midtown Toronto -- Yuppieville central at the time. There was a lovely little hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant nearby, featuring attentive, friendly service and fabulous food, including the best linguini with clams in white wine sauce that I have ever tasted, and wonderful tartuffo ice cream for dessert. We made reservations & went there on Valentine's Day with BIL & SIL (whose wedding anniversary is Feb. 15th -- it was likely their first or second wedding anniversary the next day, since Older Nephew had arrived by the time they celebrated Anniversary #3).  The place was lit with candles and filled with red & white balloons, and mellow music from the likes of Frank Sinatra & Sade -- not too loud -- set the tone. So lovely. It was our go-to place for birthdays & anniversaries and entertaining out of town guests and "just because" -- even after we moved way out to the suburbs. I remember slogging through a snowstorm after work on my 30th birthday to get there, and suffering endless delays on the train home afterward, because of the snow. But it was worth it.

Sadly, the restaurant is long gone, but the memories remain.

Do you have any memorable Valentine's Day stories to share?

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.         

Ten questions

Melissa at Stirrup Queens tagged all of us who read her latest Friday Roundup with these questions

1. When was the last time you cut your hair? Did you like the haircut?

 I've worn my hair more or less the same way (sometimes a bit longer, sometimes a bit shorter) for years, and if I don't have a trim every 6-7 weeks, it gets too long and bushy and drives me nuts. :p  The last trim was two weeks ago, and yes, I liked it (and still do). :)  Sometimes she gets it just a wee bit short for my liking, and sometimes she leaves it just a bit too long and while I like it at first, I soon can't wait for a trim again -- but this was great, and so far, so good. ;)  I had colour & highlights done just before Christmas too, and they still look pretty good as well.

2. Grapes with seeds or seedless?

Seedless, definitely. I grew up eating mostly seedless. Dh & his family eat seeded grapes, seeds & all, all the time, and I either have to decline or find a way to discreetly spit the seeds into a serviette. ;)  I just can't bring myself to swallow the seeds.

3. When was the last time you went to a fancy party? What did you wear?

I haven't been to a "fancy party" in a long time. :(  While I wouldn't want to dress up every day, I think it's kind of sad that we get so few occasions to do so these days. (Dh looks so good in a suit, lol.)  The last such event I attended was probably dh's cousin's daughter's wedding in May 2012. I wore a (short, sleeveless, V-neck) dress that was a smattering of all kinds of different colours, almost like an artist's palette -- predominantly purple, but also some olive green gold, black & others mixed in. The next big "fancy party" will probably be our nephew's wedding in October 2016 (eeekkk!). 

4. What colour is your bedroom wall?

Beige. ;)

5. The worst smell in the world is…

I've been to a pig barn on a Hutterite farm. It was actually immaculately clean, but, well, it was a pig barn. Use your imagination. ;) 

6. Last thing you spat out.

A slightly gristly piece of chicken. :p

7. Do you sing when no one is around? What do you usually sing?

Yes, mostly in the shower. ;)  Mostly Broadway show tunes and 60s girl groups/singers.  I also love to sing along with the radio in the car. (Classic rock station.)

8. Your least favourite name (and it’s okay if it’s Melissa; I can take it).

I'm not sure I have a least favourite name, but Cindy was the name of my grade school bully and she has coloured my feelings about it ever since then. ;)  I also dislike some of the more modern names -- ones that sound like the parents made them up, or ones with weird spellings (Madisyn?? seriously??). (I keep wondering what that's going to look like on a business card someday.)(Although I suppose Lori looked equally weird to some people at one time.) 

9. Did you like the food served at the last dinner party you went to?

I'm trying and failing to remember the last dinner party I went to. The image that springs to mind is my aunt & uncle's 50th wedding anniversary party in Minneapolis last spring. My cousin's wife is a caterer and made all the food, and it was AMAZING!!  We also got to feast on the leftovers at their house the next day. The menu included garlic breadsticks, an awesome salad that included craisins, green beans, and an amazing pork tenderloin with garlic mashed potatos. Yum!!!

10. What is your most prized possession? Would you kill a unicorn in order to save your most prized possession?

I am very attached to some of my stuff, but my most prized possession would be the hatbox containing Katie's things, including the little outfit she wore, her footprints & Polaroids and my one ultrasound photo. Not sure I am capable of killing an animal, let alone a unicorn, but I would probably be up to a good wrestling match. ;) 

Consider yourself tagged if you read this. ;) Cut and paste the questions onto your blog, answer them, and let me know if you do, so I can read your answers. :)  

Tales from the mall

I was in a children's wear store at the local mall this afternoon, browsing for possible Valentine's Day presents I could send to the Little Princesses.

(Yes!! -- whereas just walking past a Baby Gap once had the power to fill my eyes with tears, I have reached a point where I can now go inside a children's wear store and browse, gleefully even. It seems cute miniature dresses and leggings no longer have the power to hurt me.)(Much.)(Usually.) 

I was holding up a pink T-shirt that said, "Big Sister" and debating whether to buy it (there was also a yellow T-shirt in a smaller size that said "Little Sister") when an eager store clerk pounced upon me.

"Oh, do you need something for Pink Shirt Day? It's tomorrow, isn't it?"  she trilled. "My daughter was telling me she needed something to wear, and I thought, all the years I've worked here and you don't have one pink shirt you can put on??" 

"Pink Shirt Day?"  I repeated slowly, blankly. It was like she was speaking an entirely foreign language. I had NO IDEA what she was talking about.

Then I had a vague memory of seeing a post on Facebook about kids wearing pink shirts to school to raise awareness of bullying. Fine cause. But -- as a woman without children -- definitely not something on my radar.

I suppose I should be flattered that this woman thought I was shopping for MY KID (who would be 16, had she been around, and definitely not fitting into any of the things in this store).  These days, I'm just as likely (make that MORE likely) to be asked about grandchildren. (Not sure which is worse...!)

It wasn't an "ouch" moment, exactly. I was more bewildered and bemused than anything else. But I have to admit that this one brief exchange made me feel like a complete fish out of water -- and more than that, was yet another reminder (as if I needed one) that I don't belong to The Club. :p  That I didn't really belong in this store.

I beat a hasty retreat, and left empty-handed.

(I Googled "Pink Shirt Day" when I got home. I found various sites declaring it to be Feb. 25th, April 8th and May 4th -- I guess it depends on where you live?) 

I didn't "give up"...

A Facebook find that had me shouting "YES!!"  ;)
(In retrospect, maybe this should have been my #MicroblogMonday post, lol.)  

#MicroblogMondays: Move over, November...

The fact that I hate November is no secret here (check out my tagged posts on the subject). 

So you may be surprised to learn that November is, in fact, my second-least favourite month. The honour of least-favourite month goes to February, the month we have just entered. Here are a few reasons why:  

*  It's the dead of winter in my part of the world, cold & dreary. Case in point:  when I woke up this morning, the temperature was -16C, with a windchill factor of -28C. (That's about 3 & -18 on the Fahrenheit scale.) Not to mention about a foot of snow, which dh is currently psyching himself up to go shovel. (We do not own a snowblower.) (Yet?)
*  Yes, there's always Florida (or Arizona, or Mexico, or Cuba, etc.).  But (a) February is also college spring break month -- & I'm not eager to share my vacation with a bunch of wild 20-something party animals; (b) this is peak sunspot vacation season = peak prices; & (c) not everyone has the time or money to escape to a warmer climate for a few weeks.  (We might -- but we just didn't think about it this year. Maybe 2016...) 
*  Traditionally, February was always right in the middle of that interminably loooooonnnnnnnggggg stretch between Christmas & Easter, with no long weekends to break up the monotony.
*  The introduction of Family Day in Ontario a few years back has made that a moot point -- albeit we childless/free must endure all the platitudes that come along with a holiday called "Family Day," which generally does not acknowledge families of two.
*  February 8, 1998, was my LMP date with my pregnancy with Katie (the first day of my last menstrual period, which became ingrained in my memory after I was asked to provide it at medical appointment after medical appointment). The cycle of remembrance & regret begins again... (Can it really be SEVENTEEN YEARS ago now???!!!)

Saving graces: 

* While February might suck, it's the shortest month of the year by at least two or three days.  So (technically, at least) there's less of it to loathe.
*  February includes Valentine's Day (which actually falls on the Family Day weekend this year). Dh & I don't go in for big Valentine's Day celebrations -- he will tell you it's a "Hallmark Holiday" -- but I still like the idea of having a special day to celebrate romance and love -- not just for your partner but also the other special people in your life. It's a little ray of sunshine in the middle of greyness.
*  As with November this year -- I'm not working. Even if the weather is crappy, I don't have to worry about slogging my way to the commuter train station (only to stand on a freezing cold platform, waiting for a train that is inevitably delayed or cancelled because of the weather).  Not working and having the freedom to set my own schedule & priorities was a big reason why November didn't suck as much this past year;  hopefully the same will apply for February, lol. ;)

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.      

#MicroblogMondays: Adventures in shower invitations

I got an e-vite a couple of days ago, to a baby shower in mid-February. :p  I was expecting it -- the pregnancy was announced pre-Christmas, the baby is due in early April, so logic dictated that I would probably be invited to a shower sometime in February.

I haven't received many e-vites before this, and it took me forever to figure out how to RSVP.  It didn't help that the information was in white type on a pale grey background, making it harder to see.

Then I went to look at the gift registries. The mom-to-be is registered in two places -- the behemoth that is You-Know-Whats-R-Us, and an online boutique. The registry at YKWRUs had only 11 items to choose from -- and, even though it was only mid-morning, three were already spoken for (and two cost more money than I was prepared to spend). Went to look at the online boutique -- and I could not for the life of me find her registry there. In fact, I think I wound up opening my own registry, lol. It later turned out that she was registered at a entirely different boutique after all.

Whatever. At any rate, not being able to figure this technical stuff out was making me feel old and out of touch, and even grumpier than I usually am over receiving a baby shower invitation. Until dh told me I was sounding like my mother, lol. That shut me up.

Anyway, we scooted over to YKWRUs after lunch and I scooped up the item I had been eyeing on the registry. Done!  And now I don't have to think about it until the shower comes.

Sometimes getting older (& losing your job/being retired and having nothing better to do that afternoon) has its advantages. ;)  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.    

More recent reading

Some recent blog posts & articles of note:

• The New York Times Motherlode blog published a guest post this past Friday by Susan Shapiro on the subject of "Childless, With Regret and Advice: Don't Wait for the Perfect Picture."  My own take on the piece:  Shapiro had some good reasons for postponing ttc -- but we never know how one path in life ultimately leads to (& away from) others. Whether she would have been happier making different choices, she (& we) will never know. To paraphrase one of the commenters, you make the best decisions you can with the information you have at the time. (That's one of the better comments. As always, beware reading them...!)  Of course, living with those decisions is sometimes easier said than done, and it's hard not to wonder sometimes about the path not taken.  
• And another weekend Motherlode post deals with the subject of "Changing Early Pregnancy Etiquette:  Share Good News, and Bad."  "If our family and friends never knew we were expecting, was it melodramatic to inform them of our loss? Was it hurtful, insulting or offensive to divulge our bad news if we were unwilling to share our good news first? Since no one close to us had ever miscarried, would people even consider our loss newsworthy or our emotions warranted?" Good questions...
• Almost exactly two years ago, Pamela at Silent Sorority and I were guests on the Bitter Infertiles podcast, where we talked with Mo of Mommy Odyssey and Cristy of Searching for our Silver Lining, about our experiences as infertility survivors and coming to terms with remaining a family of two. I blogged about the experience here. Now, not only can you listen to our discussion, you can read the transcript that Pamela has compiled as part of her 8th blogoversary.
• Sarah at Infertility Honesty grabbed my attention, made me laugh and made me cringe (as she often does) with a blog post about the traumatic experience she recently endured at (wait for it...) ...a weekend workshop on trauma. (!!!) Part One of her story is here;  watch for Part Two to come!