COVID-19 odds & ends

• Further to a previous post which mentioned cancelled IVF cycles because of COVID-19 -- The Globe & Mail had an article this past weekend about planning for pregnancy -- including postponing IVF -- during this pandemic. I found it curious/interesting that -- although it does begin with the postponement of an IVF cycle, and the emotional impact of that -- the article is actually more focused on the medical & safety aspects of pregnancy during a pandemic, as well as the impact on already-scarce medical resources.  On the one hand, it does cover all the bases, but... 
• I was (text) chatting with a group of other CNBCers, and several people were commenting about how suddenly -- now that we're in the middle of a global crisis, and everyone is at home, and presumably has more time on their hands -- people are coming out of the woodwork & wanting to connect and chat. (See my previous post -- since I wrote it, I had a cousin of my mother's call me on the phone... I feel relatively close to her, and we are connected on social media, etc., -- but she NEVER calls me!!) 
• Of course, more often than not, these conversations will turn to the caller's kids...!  More than one CNBCer commented something along the lines of "Where were all these people when *I* really could have used a sympathetic chat??"  
• Another great point/observation: is it possible that dealing with infertility, loss and childlessness, and all the grief and chaos and anxiety and uncertainty that comes along with that, has better prepared us to deal with current events than some of our peers?? 
• Great article (recommended by Jody Day of Gateway Women) from The Guardian on coping with radical uncertainty, including some practical tips and helpful podcast recommendations. Opening paragraph: 

In 1939, in a sermon preached at Oxford University in the midst of a different global crisis, CS Lewis made a distinction that’s worth revisiting today. It wasn’t the case, he pointed out, that the outbreak of war had rendered human life suddenly fragile; rather, it was that people were suddenly realising it always had been. “The war creates no absolutely new situation,” Lewis said. “It simply aggravates the permanent human situation so that we can no longer ignore it. Human life has always been lived on the edge of a precipice… We are mistaken when we compare war with ‘normal life’. Life has never been normal.” 

• Margaret Atwood wrote an interesting essay for The Globe & Mail about "Growing up in Quarantineland" during the 1950s & 60s, before vaccines were developed for things like polio. 
• Even when I was a child in the 1960s, most kids got chicken pox, mumps and measles -- things children are routinely vaccinated for now. I remember chicken pox decimating my Grade 1 class in the spring of 1968 -- an entire row of my classmates sat empty at one point! -- and then the mumps later that fall. Most kids these days will never have to deal with any of these once-common (mostly survivable) childhood illnesses. 
• My mother had hepatitis when I was a toddler, and wound up in the local hospital (the same one where I was born). We lived just down the street (the main street in town), and one of my earliest memories is of my grandmother holding me up to a window (the hospital window) & my mother being inside, waving at me. I seem to remember my sister was in the stroller. I must have been 2, because my sister & I are 21 months apart, and we moved to Saskatchewan before I turned 3.  

#MicroblogMondays: Things I've been doing...

...while self-distancing (so far!):

• Watching WAY too much cable news...!!  (CNN, CBC News Network, CTV News Channel).
• Crying more than usual over some of the sad stories I've been seeing & reading about, especially the first-person accounts from medical staff.  
• Listening to Stingray Classic Rock when we need a break from TV. (There's a great deal of comfort to be found in the music of your youth...!) 
• Spending WAY too much time online (albeit it's a great way to socialize and stay connected with people from a distance...!). 
• Adding some new apps (see my previous rant, lol) and deleting some others to make room for them... 
• Working my way through the ever-present magazine pile. 
• Cleaning up my email inbox & actually reading some of the daily/weekly newsletters I subscribe to. 
• Trying (but failing) to get to the bottom of my blog reader queue... 
• Balancing my chequebook register. (Yes, I still keep one... I barely write any cheques these days, but I do still track the debit card purchases, cash machine withdrawals, etc., from my chequing/day-to-day banking account.)(I was exactly $6 out!! Not sure where that missing $6 went to??)  
• Sorting, filing & shredding accumulated old receipts and bills.  
• Re-inserting & tightening up a screw that dropped out from the kitchen faucet assembly underneath the sink with a loud CLUNK...! (Got a bit of vertigo after emerging from the cupboard after doing that! :p  ) 
• Culling my books, which have started to overflow the shelves again (even with double-stacking)... many of them titles that I've managed to buy in e-book format at a deep discount. We've packaged up the culled titles and will take them to the thrift store when it (eventually...!) reopens. (My shelves still look pretty full, though...!) 
• Scrubbing out the shower cubicle (my least-favourite household chore, I think -- but I can't say I'm "too busy" to do it right now, right??!).  
• The laundry, more often. (Partly because I insist on washing dh's clothes after he's worn them outside to get groceries, but also just for something to do...?!). 
• Sending "post some new photos of Great-Nephew" vibes to Older Nephew & his wife, lol.  (There are NEVER enough photos!!)  
• NOT reading as many books as I thought I would...!  :( 
• Wondering when I'm going to get to see my family again, and whether we'll be able to take our usual trip west to see them this summer, as planned. :(  
• Wondering whether the family reunion planned for late July in Minnesota will go ahead, and whether the U.S.-Canada border will reopen in time for us to attend?  :( 
• Nevertheless feeling lucky that I can hole up here in my cozy condo with dh, my laptop and my books and plenty of food (and toilet paper, lol), and not go out unless absolutely necessary. (Today is day 18... I think??!) 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

Corona-tech overload

I've been spending even more time than usual online since the whole coronavirus crisis began -- and it seems like everyone else is too. They're all posting more -- sharing memes and dumb jokes and photos of what they're doing (or not doing) in isolation. Even though I'm sitting at home without a whole lot to do, I'm having trouble keeping up with my social media feeds and messages. And feeling just a wee bit swamped.

It's nice that people are reaching out & checking in on each other, of course. BUT, sometimes, it's a bit of overload. My phone keeps dinging & pinging with notifications & I'm seriously considering turning some of them off, or muting them for a while.  It wears on you after a while...!

One case in point on this front: Dh's cousins have long had an on-again-off-again group chat going on Facebook Messenger. But now one cousin in Italy asked if we could set up a group on WhatsApp (which apparently they all use in Europe?)... and now everyone is moving over there. I REEEEAAAALLY didn't want to have to download (& learn) another app... besides Messenger, I also have regular texting (which the cousins on the other side of dh's family seem to prefer using) -- not to mention good old-fashioned email, lol.  My phone is running short on space as it is (I have -- cough cough -- five news apps and several reading apps on my phone that take up a lot of space -- not to mention all my pictures, lol).  I am constantly clearing my cache, and I've had to delete a couple of other less-used apps lately just to keep the phone running smoothly! 

But I felt like I didn't have much choice, if I want to stay connected. :p  (And Lord knows, as an older, retired, childless woman, I felt kind of isolated even before all this began...!) 

Likewise, video calling/conferencing:  my phone is an Android, so I don't have Facetime, which is exclusive to Apple iPhones. But there's an app called Duo on my phone (that I've never used) that I understand is similar. I think both Messenger and WhatsApp have video calling capabilities too? I have Skype on my laptop (but not my phone -- at least not yet...)(my parents & I used to talk on it a lot, although we haven't used it much recently). I have Zoom on both my phone & laptop, which lots of CNBCers have been using for webinars & video chats over the past year. 

And then this week, a group of friends decided they wanted to chat with an app called House Party, so I had to download THAT to my phone. (There's a limit of 8 people per call on that one, though.) 

Seriously, how many communication apps do we all need??  Can't we all just pick one or two & stick to those??

(Rant over...!)  

Which texting/conferencing apps do you use/prefer? 

Thank you for being my online friends :)

I realized it long before the coronavirus (20+ years now!), but the past couple of weeks have once again reminded me of how much I value my online friends. Read here.

More COVID-19 odds & ends

• I think the hardest part of this whole coronavirus things (aside from the fear we're going to get it) has been not seeing our adorable Great-Nephew (who is now four months old) for almost three weeks now. :(  They grow & change so much so fast at this age...!  
• So we've been sending "Post more photos/videos of the baby, damnit!!" vibes (and occasional text requests, lol) to Older Nephew & his wife, lol.  His wife tends to post a lot of stuff to Instagram & Facebook Stories, which is fine (we'll take anything -- beggars can't be choosers, lol), except that they DISAPPEAR after 24 hours. So for those 24 hours, we binge-watch those precious short little clips - over and over and over again (dh especially does this). We've learned to take screen shots with our cellphones, which helps capture some of these moments for longer-term viewing -- but they don't necessarily do a great job when it comes to video. 
• Older Nephew's wife posted a killer video this afternoon:  Little Great-Nephew looking up at her (Mommy) while she's looking at the camera. Then she looks down at Little Great-Nephew... and he smiles happily and kicks his little feet.  
• IT KILLS ME. First because he's so frickin' cute and I MISS HIM SO MUCH... and second (of course) because I will never, ever have a child look at me that way... another reminder of what I've missed out on. :( 
• His other grandmother (the one he's not living with -- i.e., Older Nephew's wife's mother) hasn't seen him since this all started either, and I guess it's killing her too. :(   
• I have a few things I bought for him for Easter before all this madness started (an Easter-themed onesie, a little board book, a stuffed chick that's safe for all ages)(I'll buy him chocolate when he's older & actually able to eat it, lol). If it gets close to Easter and restrictions are still in place (and I'm pretty sure they will be), we're thinking of driving over & leaving the bag on the porch for them to pick up. And maybe ask them to bring Great-Nephew over to the window so we can wave at him and get in a bit of a fix. ;)  
• I miss the dog too. :(  I have a couple of dachshund sites in my social media feeds, and I got almost teary watching a video of a dog who looked just like Older Nephew's.  I suppose we could get some snuggles with the dog in while we're there??  (Dogs don't do social distancing very well, lol.) 
• Anyone else getting slayed by this particular "stay home" meme that's making the rounds on social media? 

A pregnancy in a pandemic

(*NOT MINE, OBVIOUSLY!!* lol)

My phone started pinging yesterday afternoon... Messenger group chat among dh's cousins. Just guess!! -- an ultrasound photo!! His cousin who has lived in Australia for the past 15 years or so is PREGNANT. (AND -- GASP!! -- she's NOT MARRIED!! lol -- this DOES NOT HAPPEN in dh's Italian Catholic family! lol I don't think any of the cousins care, although there may be a few older relatives who will cluck their tongues over it.) She is due early this fall. 

She just turned 40 in January. I honestly thought she didn't have any interest in having babies. She's a doting aunt & godmother, but never seemed too interested in settling down and having kids herself. She's a pretty successful executive, leads a fabulous social life (at least it seems so from the photos she posts on social media), and travels around the world a lot for both business and pleasure. "I hope she doesn't regret it someday," her sister-in-law confided to me & SIL once.

Of course I wish her well -- especially right now, given the state of the world... Many of the cousins remarked on how nice it was to have some good news in the middle of all this global chaos and uncertainty. (I wonder how many of them will be as worried for her as I'm going to be?? -- knowing what I know about pregnancy at the best of times, never mind in the middle of a global pandemic...) 

Just feeling a little wistful that she managed to pull a rabbit... ummm, baby... out of the hat before her fertility ran out -- right at the same point where I had to give up on my own dream of motherhood. :(

COVID-19 odds & ends: Ageism, pronatalism & ALI/CNBC

• The New York Times had a thoughtful piece on the corona virus and rationed medical care by an older person with disabilities, with the blunt title "My Life Is More ‘Disposable’ During This Pandemic." Sample passage: 

The news doesn’t look good: There are more people sick; less relief is coming. The “reassuring” public service announcements are no better. Countless messages from my dentist, from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and from my child’s playgroups tell me not to worry because it’s “only” chronically ill people and elders that are at risk of severe illness or death. More than one chronically ill friend has quipped: “Don’t they know sick and old people can read?” 

The pestilence of ableism and ageism being unleashed is its own kind of pandemic. In Italy, they’re already deciding not to save the lives of chronically ill and disabled people, or elders with Covid-19. The rationale is twofold: We are less likely to survive, and caring for us may take more resources. This is not an unusual triage decision to make in wartime or pandemics; our lives are considered, quite literally, more disposable.

• As an aging childless woman, I'm already used to feeling "disposable" or less-than in the eyes of society. But COVID-19 sure puts a whole new spin on it. If I arrived at the hospital at the same time as another 59-year-old woman of similar health -- but who, unlike me, is the mother of (living) children (maybe even grandchildren) -- who do you think is going to get the one available respirator? 

• I read that in some NYC hospitals, women are labouring & giving birth without support partners, because of the COVID-19 risk. It's enough to give a loss mom like me PTSD sometimes... (and I know several loss moms who are privately struggling with everything that's been going on). 
• My heart goes out to those expectant moms -- and you know there will be some -- whose delivery does not go well, and/or babies aren't going to come home with them. And who will have to go through that, and deal with the immediate aftermath, alone...  
• (Dh & I were pregnancy loss support group facilitators during the SARS outbreak in Toronto, and our co-facilitator worked in a local hospital... she had some tales to tell!!  We had several clients arrive at group who went through their losses at that time... I am sure this is bringing back some sad/scary memories for them...!) 
• How about those (and the article alludes to this) who had a previous loss, or difficult previous pregnancy or delivery, who now face delivery without additional support? 
• The article also mentions some pregnant women are now considering giving birth at home instead of going to the hospital. This gives me the heebie-jeebies:  

Susan Rannestad, a licensed midwife, said the number of calls she received for midwife services had soared since the new policy was announced. 

But she warned against women deciding at the last minute to give birth at home, which she said required months of education, planning and preparation. 

“I am concerned that they are not prepared,” Rannestad said. “Home birth is not like going to Walmart and buying a new blanket for your bed.” 

“My clients plan their births like they plan their weddings, and the people who are calling now don’t get it,” she said.

• These days, I don't follow many couples blogs or social media feeds about cycling through infertility treatment... but I have heard/seen some very real grief from people whose long-anticipated cycles were cancelled. My heart goes out to them too. 
• Anyone else not appreciating all those jokes about the number of babies that are going to be born in December??  Many infertile women know that will simply not be the case for them... 
• On the other hand:  I don't want to minimize the very real grief & fear we are all feeling right now -- but how very fortunate are we that, if we HAD to go through a pandemic, it's at a time when we have all this wonderful technology to connect and entertain us (not to mention we have modern medicine to help us, however imperfect it is!)?? I was thinking about this after watching a documentary on PBS a few days ago about the great influenza pandemic of 1918.  
• I have not been out of the house in almost two weeks (!)... dh has been out to scrounge for groceries a few times. I'll admit I'm starting to go a bit stir crazy (may go for a bit of a walk once the weather gets a bit better...), but things could be a whole lot worse. Hang in there!! 
• On a lighter note:  Ultimate Classic Rock published this list of songs related to social distancing. 
• I asked my Facebook friends for suggestions for songs they'd missed. They included "Crystal Ball" and "Best of Times" by Styx, "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats, and "Go Away Little Girl" by Donny Osmond, lol. (I'm too lazy to look up the YouTube links right now, lol.) 
• A friend posted a little video on Instagram set to "Band on the Run" by Paul McCartney & Wings (lol):  

Stuck inside these four walls,
Sent inside forever,
Never seeing no one
Nice again like you,
Mama you, mama you....

If I ever get outta here
If we ever get outta of here...