Suddenly, I'm popular. Not just one, but two invitations for the same day -- and Mother's Day, no less!! Who'd-a thunk?? Little ol' infertile, deadbabymama me!
Since dh's mother died long before I was able to meet her, and my own mother lives 1,500 miles away, dh & I have usually been left to our own devices on Mother's Day -- which is generally how we like it. I wrote this post about Mother's Day & me last year.
We've already (reluctantly) accepted the first invitation we received last month. As I wrote earlier, dh & I will be spending Mother's Day living out every infertile woman/bereaved mother's bad dream -- attending a baptism (for stepBIL's son). Being that it is stepMIL's grandson -- her only, long-awaited grandchild -- we HAVE to go. There is no way we can excuse ourselves.
But today, I received an e-mail from one of dh's (female) cousins. If there is enough interest, she & one of the other female cousins are proposing to organize a Mother's Day brunch outing, just for "the girls" -- the aunts, the female cousins, their own daughters (who range in age from 2 to 18), & the male cousins' wives (including me).
I don't know whether the group brunch idea will ultimately come off. And obviously, having accepted the baptism invitation (& since FIL's wife trumps the aunts & cousins on the other side of the family anyway), I had to decline the brunch invitation.
I know there's a third choice -- digging in my heels & turning down both invitations, & doing what dh & I always do (cemetery, movie &/or shopping, avoidance, lol). Needless to say, I have no spine. ; )
But anyway, this got me thinking. Theoretically -- let's say I got both invitations on the same day at the same time -- and had to pick one (i.e., turning both down was not an option). Which invitation should/would I accept?
Other assumptions in this theoretical world:
- I am not having any problems with food reactions, so they are not a consideration in thinking about the food. ; )
- I don't have to worry about offending FIL if I go for brunch instead.
Factors to consider in each scenario:
- Baptism: There will be about 40-50 people attending. Only a handful of small children, if any, although there will certainly be much to-do made over the guest of honour. I will know most of the people there (stepMIL's family), although not extremely well. There will be other childless women there, although they are the doting aunts of the baby. We will be attending a church service, followed by lunch at an Italian restaurant, all close to where dh & I live.
- Brunch: If all those invited attend, there would be four older women, 10 cousins/cousins' wives, and five girls ages 2-18. I am probably more comfortable generally with this group, & they are a lot of fun to be around. I think it's nice to be included in the invitation. However!! I would be the only adult female there who does not have a (living) child. And, with the conversation at such gatherings usually very kid-focused, I am sure I would ultimately wind up feeling a little bored/frustrated/resentful/sad, etc. The restaurant has not been picked yet, and it would probably be farther from where I live (in which case I would have to either get dh to take me or hitch a ride with cousin/neighbour's wife, assuming she & her daughters are going too) but I'm sure it would be a nice brunch.
Which invitation would YOU accept, & why? I'm curious to hear your responses!