Monday, July 30, 2018

#MicroblogMondays: Visitors

Dh, BIL, SIL & I went to see FIL on Saturday, and to extend our condolences to dh & BIL's stepsister & stepbrothers who (as I wrote earlier) lost their own father suddenly last week.

FIL was in bed the entire time we were there -- & it looks like that's where he's going to be spending most of his time now. :(  He didn't have his teeth in, which made it difficult to understand him (even if you understood Italian, which is what he's mostly speaking now), but SIL managed to get the gist of most of what he was trying to say. She, stepSIL & I propped him up with pillows and he looked more like himself then -- although he is so painfully, horribly thin. :(  He's not eating much again. But he still loves his espresso coffee. ;)  He seemed to recognize us all (he doesn't always). His breathing is good (even though his one lung is completely collapsed), his heart rate & blood pressure are normal. He even sang for us a little, which brought tears to my eyes.

Whether it's his dementia, the drugs he's been taking, or... something else... FIL has been seeing people lately who aren't actually in the room. In fact, a lot of the people he's been claiming to see (his one sister and her husband, for example) are... ummmm.... dead. He saw stepSIL's father... the night he died. BEFORE they found out he was dead.

At one point, SIL told me he was asking her who "the girl" was. "You mean (stepSIL)?" she said. No, not stepSIL. A young girl. SIL shrugged. "Maybe he's thinking of (his grandsons'/our nephews' wives)?" she said to me.

It struck me then:  he was asking about a young girl.  Say, about 20 years old, maybe??

Was it possible he was talking about his only granddaughter? MY daughter?? Who was stillborn 20 years ago, next week??  Was she there, watching over her nonno, waiting for when he could join her & nonna?

We'll never know for sure (in this life, anyway)... but it's comforting to think so. (I find it comforting, anyway...)

(I didn't say anything to SIL... but I told dh when we got home.)

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here


  1. Oh wow... I am nearly speechless. This is so powerful and beautiful. And I hope it is okay that I say it is comforting, comforting to know your daughter is watching over your FIL. So much love in that room...

  2. This gave me chills. When my husband’s grandmother (who helped raise my husband and was very close to him) was in her final days, she kept talking about her husband, Gene, who had passed away a few years earlier, and a little girl holding his hand. My Eliza would have just turned four at the time. At his grandfather’s funeral (three years previous), my husband gave the eulogy and promised to take care of his grandma, just as his grandpa would be taking care of our baby girl (we lost her a year before his grandpa died). It is truly a precious mystery that I hold in my heart.

  3. You may hate me for this, but I think Katie is there with FIL. I’m a firm believer that those we love never truly leave us. Sending you all love during this time.

  4. Dear Loribeth, I got goosebumps (if it's the correct expression?) while reading your post. The world and life are so mysterious, we never know...

  5. You said it. "We'll never know for sure (in this life, anyway)... but it's comforting to think so. (I find it comforting, anyway...)"

    And I'm very glad you find it comforting too. Sending hugs. None of this is easy. Take the comfort where you can.