Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Is it over yet?

(Not COVID-19... if only, right??)

Is anyone else as tired as I am (already! -- still more than a week and a half away) of MDay-related emails, ads & posts (not to mention all the general mom and grandma-related posts on social media that are there anyway)??  I'm not sure if there are more such posts than usual this year (my social media feeds have definitely been busier, with more people stuck at home with little to do)... but however many more (or less) there may be, I'm definitely finding them especially irksome/jarring... perhaps (most likely...!) because the additional stress of COVID has depleted my tolerance?

Beyond the fact that they're another reminder of what we wanted but didn't get, most of these ads/emails, etc., don't seem to take any note of the obvious fact that MDay is probably going to be very different for most of us this year, whether or not we're fortunate enough to still have our moms with us. Did I really need the reminder that my own mom is 1,000 miles away (and blithely ignoring social distancing recommendations by having her cleaning lady over and going to get her haircut... grrrr....)?  or that I have no idea when I'm going to get to see her again? -- likely not for her & dad's 60th wedding anniversary in July, hopefully (but not guaranteed) for Christmas (??).  

Plus, I'm annoyed by the marketing message that, with everything that's going on right now, and all the pressure that most of us are under (kids or no kids), we're also supposed to worry about Mother's Day??  Who wants to risk their life running out to a store (assuming you can find a place that's open, aside from a supermarket or pharmacy) to buy their mother a card &/or gift this year??  

For me, it's also a reminder of another disappointment, another thing that wasn't to be (in addition to my failed attempts at pregnancy):  MDay weekend was supposed to have been good/happy/memorable (for the right reasons) for me this year (for once) because, way back last fall, I had scored tickets to see "Hamilton" on the Saturday afternoon, May 9th. That performance (in fact, all remaining performances) has, of course, been cancelled because of COVID, and every time I turn to that page on my calendar, I mourn the crossed-out entry staring at me...

I decided to (try to) record every reminder I encountered in one 24-hour period (Tuesday morning, April 28th to Wednesday morning, April 29th), still more than a week away from the big event) about MDay or mom-ism in general.... here's some of what I found. Keep in mind that I (obviously) don't have a lot of specifically mom/kid related content in my feed, aside from what my mom friends post... also, we don't tend to watch a lot of television during the day.  But still: 

On Facebook &/or Instagram (some people double-post to both at once): 
  • A friend reposting a meme from a page called (I kid you not!!) "As a Mom." (I was curious, so I clicked over to check it out.) Full title -- and again, I kid you not: "As a Mom: A Sisterhood of Mommy Patriots." (!) It seems to be dormant (no new posts in well over a year), but it says:  "Our mission is to empower Moms and Moms at Heart in preserving our Constitution, country and children’s future." (I guess they DID nod to "Moms at Heart"...??) There's more, but suffice to say, it's definitely NOT aimed at non-mom, non-American, non-conservative me. (Pass!) 
  • Same friend (she's a dear -- slightly older woman with three grown children & four grandchildren -- but every day she floods my feed with photos, reposts, memories, memes, etc.): 
    • meme/poem titled "Because he's your son." 
    • meme that begins: "My hope is that they will remember mommy tried." 
    • umpteen photos (I won't even try to count how many) of her kids & grandkids. 
  • Friend musing that she can now free up dresser space by putting away the kids' school uniforms for the summer.
  • Three friends' posts about their kids' meltdowns (or their meltdowns over their kids!). 
  • A meme from a friend who has a small business: "Hey Dads, your children will not be bringing home homemade Mother's Day gifts from school. You have less than 12 days."  (Okay, that one was kind of funny!) 
  • Umpteen cute kid photos from both friends and celebrity/public figure accounts I follow. (I didn't bother to count after a while!) 
  • A "to my kids" meme, shared by two different relatives, from a site called "24/7 Moms" ("you're the BEST thing that ever happened to me... SHARE IF YOU LOVE YOUR KIDS"). 
  • Mother's Day cards from Emily McDowell -- who is actually pretty awesome, and who wrote below the photo on Instagram, "DANG IT. I kinda dropped the ball on promoting Mother's Day this year because pandemic??"
  • From essential oils shop:  photo of mom & baby with caption "How did the mother figure in your life grow you with care?" followed by giveaway contest details. (Well, I guess they get points for attempting inclusiveness with "mother figure"...?) 
  • From TTFA (Terrible, Thanks for Asking) podcast, a promo for the book "Bad Moms" by Nora McInerny. (It's supposed to be funny, and generally I adore Nora, but it's not for me right now.) 
Email inbox: 
  • Tech store:  "Gift ideas to make Mom smile." 
  • Jewelry store: "See our top 5 gifts for Mother's Day" 
  • Jewelry store 2: "Mother's Day Flash Sale" 
  • Hardware/auto store (!!):  "Celebrate Mom this Spring"
  • Drugstore chain:  "Shop Mother's Day gift sets"
  • Essential oils shop: "Call your mom (and get her a gift too)"
Okay, looking at this list, it actually wasn't as bad as I thought... I'm sure that in a non-COVID year, there would be a lot more!  Maybe I just hit a relatively good 24-hour period??

But what's that saying -- perception is 9/10ths of reality (or something like that?) -- and it felt good to vent a bit!  Thanks for listening/reading!

3 comments:

  1. This is hard. Mothers Day has barely been on my radar this year, except to order something for my mom that has delayed shipping (because pandemic) and won’t arrive until after Mother’s Day. I do feel like I may be posting more than usual pics of my kids because I’m with them 24/7 so I literally have nothing to do aside from spending time with them (and scrolling my phone... my attention span for reading is not great). Anyway, I remember vividly how painful Mother’s Day was for me right after Eliza died and it’s still complicated and itchy, though easier now to be sure. Sending you love and hoping the day passes quickly. Hamilton though—my condolences! That’s a real bummer.

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    1. For the record, I love seeing photos of your adorable girls! ;) Collectively, though, I will admit that the avalanche of cute kid & grandkid photos from ALL my friends posting at once can (still!) be a little hard to deal with, especially at these more sensitive times of the year. Thanks for understanding! <3

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  2. Good grief, I think that's a lot! I cringe to think what you might have to put up with in the next week. I think I have only seen one vague reference somewhere to M's Day - because I remember my surprise that it was coming up - and that's it. So far. I imagine they are coming, but we have only just opened up to online retail again since lockdown, so not a lot of advertising till now.

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