#MicroblogMondays: A message from an old friend

Thank you for your good wishes on Katie's day (I don't especially like the term "anniversary" for sad events, and "birthday" doesn't quite seem to fit in this context). It was a quiet day that didn't seem to weigh on me as heavily as it has in some years. 

We had appointments for haircuts that morning in our old community, and after that, we picked up some flowers at the nearby supermarket (the one where we used to shop when we lived there) and took them to the cemetery for a short visit before heading home. A lot of the "traditions" & things we used to do on this day have kind of fallen by the wayside in recent years, and we already had dinner planned for that night, but dh asked me if I'd like to order in Chinese food on Saturday night, which we did. (The night we arrived home from the hospital 22 years ago -- along with my mother, who dropped everything to fly to my hospital beside -- we were all too tired and drained to cook, so we ordered in Chinese food -- and thus began that tradition...!) 

I posted a couple of photos from the cemetery on Facebook and Instagram, and had a flurry of lovely comments & reactions from friends & family members -- including an unexpected message on Facebook Messenger from a classmate (from both junior & senior high school) that I'm FB friends with. We weren't close-close friends in school, and I don't think I've seen her since we graduated (41 years ago!!), but we knew each other fairly well, and I always liked her. She's always been a very quiet, introverted person, so she doesn't post much, but she does "like" & occasionally comment on my posts, particularly those involving the dog & great-nephew. :) (She's married and still living in the town where we grew up & went to school together -- three adult children and a couple of grandkids.) 

Anyway, she wrote to say how sorry she was about my loss and then said "forgive me for asking this" but she had always wondered what happened, and would I mind telling her my story? that she did not want to pry and it she understood if I didn't want to share. It was so nicely worded. I responded "thank you for asking" and said I did not mind telling my story at all -- the hard part is usually watching people's reactions to it (especially if they had no prior inkling that I've lost a child). And that sometimes it's (still) easier to write about it than to talk about it. 

I gave her the Coles/Cliffs Notes version of my pregnancy story & my fertility issues and our decision to leave treatment when I was 40. I assured her that dh & I had a good life together, even if it wasn't the one we had planned or expected, and thanked her for her kind words. She wrote back to say she was so sorry we'd been through so much sadness, and that she could tell Katie is always in my thoughts, and she hoped she hadn't upset me. I assured her she hadn't. 

I didn't tell her that her message totally made my day. :)  To have someone ask about my baby, to willingly listen/read what I had to say and offer their sincere sympathy, after all these years -- it's a rarity -- and a gift. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.