"I Am Half-Sick of Shadows" by Alan Bradley

It's always fun to read a Christmas/holiday-themed book during the holiday season... something not too taxing at a busy and sometimes stressful time of year -- and when my co-host at the Childless Collective NoMo Book Club. and I were planning books for the rest of 2025, I thought of "I Am Half-Sick of Shadows" by Alan Bradley, the fourth book in the delightful Flavia de Luce mystery series, for December. We'd read Flavia #1, "The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie" two years ago  (my review here) and it was very well received. Happily, my co-host agreed it would be a good choice to wind up the year! 

It's Christmastime in early 1950s/post-war Britain, but the festivities this year are somewhat muted: financial precarity has forced Flavia's reluctant father to lease the family's crumbling mansion, Buckshaw, to a film company for a movie shoot -- much to the delight of Flavia and her two sisters.  

The two stars of the movie agree to stage a benefit performance for the local church. Most of the villagers attend -- and, conveniently, get snowed in by a blizzard. While they are trapped in the big house together, there is (of course!) a murder (midway through the book), and Flavia -- a precocious 11-year-old amateur detective and chemist, with a penchant for poison -- goes to work trying to untangle the mystery and identify the killer. Meanwhile, she is determined to solve an even bigger mystery: whether Father Christmas (Santa Claus) is real.

While I would highly recommend reading the entire series -- and while I think you'd probably benefit from reading at least the first book first to acquaint yourself with Flavia, her family and her world -- you could probably read this one as a standalone and still enjoy it. :)  

Weirdly, although I KNOW I've read this book before (and briefly reviewed it on this blog back in January 2012 (!), here), I have no previous record of reading it, on Goodreads. The book came out in 2011, and I did not join Goodreads until 2016, but I did add some books that I'd reviewed on my blog retroactively. Oh well...!  

4 stars on both Goodreads & StoryGraph.  

ALI notes:  I'd forgotten that there's a very pregnant minor character who makes an appearance.  

Also, Flavia recalls impulsively quizzing a childless woman about her lack of children -- and (to her credit) feeling enormously guilty about it afterwards. 

Previous Flavia-related posts here. 

This was Book #35 read to date in 2025 (and Book #2 finished in November), bringing me to 78% of  my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 5 books behind  schedule to meet my goal.  :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2025 tagged as "2025 books." 

Odds & ends

• Not ALI/CNBC related, but y'all know I am a huge fan of L.M. Montgomery -- and Modern Mrs. Darcy recently pointed her readers to a Substack post that ranked the men in Montgomery's novels. (Guess who tops the list?)  
• I wouldn't argue with her choices, although it's been many years since I last (re)read "Kilmeny of the Orchard" and now I want to find myself a copy...! 
• Ali Hall cross-posted this Substack post from Nadia Huq through her own Substack, Life Without Children -- "How I Grew to Love The Single, Childfree Me." Even if you're partnered and consider yourself childless vs childfree, as I do, I think you will probably find a few things here you can relate to! 
• Also on Life Without Children, Ali ponders why parents can talk about their children while childless/free people are expected to shut up about their different life experiences ("Being Childfree Is Not My ‘Whole Personality’ but Here’s Why I Need to Talk About It"). 

The double standard and irony of it all is that, in my experience, often, those beating their drums the loudest about us childfree people talking about being childfree are usually the ones who have made parenting their whole personality and have “mom of boys” or “proud mumma bear” in their bios.

And that’s ok.

But why do they get to build their world around having children and expect those of us who don’t have them to be silent?

• Rosalyn at NoMo Book Club describes the comfort that can be found in books that encompass the worlds of other childless/free women ("Sharing sanctuary"). 
• Carrie Hauskens at Blooming With Care wrote about her childless holidays -- and her Bonne Maman advent calendar tradition (yum!).  
• Further on the New York Times magazine story of the 65-year-old woman who can't stop/won't stop having babies (gift link included in this post), Sara Petersen at In Pursuit of Clean Countertops invites former fundamentalist wife Tia Levings to muse about how "It's Easy To Want Babies:  It's Harder To Raise Them." 
• American journalist Kirsten Powers (who has no children) writes about the panic attacks she's been experiencing as the holiday season approaches ("When Grief Take You Out"). After reading about what her year has been like, you'll understand why...!   
• I've been mulling over an "I hate November" rant these last few days (feeling sick and sorry for myself...) -- and Anne Helen Petersen just posted about "fall regression" on her Culture Study Patreon, and the comments section is filled with people venting about season depression and grief. My comment begins with the words, "You all are my people,"  lol    
• (Unfortunately, the piece is paywalled, but here's a preview link.) 
• Lyz Lenz's list of Sunday links on her Men Yell at Me Patreon included this one (from McSweeney's, a humor site), and I couldn't help but think about infertility as soon as I saw the headline: "When It Happens."  

It’s impossible to say when IT will HAPPEN. But it can’t be too long until IT HAPPENS. Looking at the data (age, high-stress job, cardiac history), it is statistically plausible that IT will HAPPEN in the next thirty-six months.

#MicroblogMondays: Really annoying thing: Sick :p

I guess it's a good thing I had fun at Little Great Nephew #1's birthday party (a week ago Saturday). 

Because I have been SICK, all this past week, with a horrible cold, the worst I've had in a while. 

I ran a temperature, 100F at one point, I had a stuffy head and a horrible cough that rattled my chest, shredded my already-raw, sore throat and left my diaphragm/ribs feeling sore, and I even coughed up a little blood at one point. I went from feeling a scratch in my throat on Monday afternoon, to feeling pretty lousy by Tuesday afternoon, and like utter crap for almost the entire rest of the week. I think I can safely say I'm feeling somewhat better (started feeling less crappy over Friday/Saturday) -- but I am still far from 100%. I am coughing less (and it's a lot looser), but I have not been sleeping well, even propped up on pillows, and I have NO stamina. I have not left the house in a week. 

Dh hadn't talked to his brother all week, so he called him on Saturday night. Guess what?  Dh, BIL, Younger Nephew, his wife & LGNiece all feel fine. But all the rest of us -- LGN#1 (the birthday boy) & #2 (still not even a year old), Older Nephew, his wife, her mother, and his (SIL), have all been sick too, all week long. :(  (Not sure about any of the other partygoers?)

LGN#1 missed the entire last week of school, including his actual birthday (he was so disappointed -- they announce the kids' birthdays on the PA system, and he was looking forward to that). SIL even lost her sense of taste. I never lost mine, but I didn't have much of an appetite for most of the week. (The ultimate indignity? When I weighed myself on Friday, I had GAINED a pound. Go figure...)  I tested myself for covid on day 3 -- negative -- and we both had our covid & flu shots two weeks ago -- but now I'm wondering if maybe it was covid after all? 

I suppose it's par for the course, after spending a couple of hours with 20 small children (plus parents), no masks -- not to mention taking a swig of water from the wrong water bottle (oops, and EWWW...). (One of the perqs of childlessness: less exposure to these kind of situations/germs!)

Still, I wouldn't have missed the party!  And better now, I guess, than a month from now,,,! 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

#MicroblogMondays: And now he is SIX!

If you had told me, 27 years ago this month (and still reeling from heartbreak of pregnancy loss), that 27 years later I would find myself in a party room at a retro video game arcade, surrounded by some 20 excited kids aged 6 and under, plus their young parents -- and even having some fun while doing it --  I never would have believed you, 

And yet there I was, at Little Great-Nephew #1's 6th (!) birthday party on Saturday. Older Nephew discovered the arcade, tucked away in a little strip plaza in a small town not far from where they live, and often takes LGN#1 there for some fun on the weekend (although it's probably a toss up as to who is having MORE fun! lol). 

It was a lot bigger inside than it looked, containing more than 170 (!) arcade games, including some of the ones I remember playing at the campus pub back in the Dark Ages (i.e., the early 1980s, lol), including Galaga, Space Invaders, Pac-Man and Donkey Kong, as well as tabletop games like air hockey and foosball.  It also has a party room and birthday party packages. The kids each got a cup full of tokens they could use to play the games, and some of them spit out tickets they could collect and exchange at the front desk for prizes/trinkets. 

LGN's mom/Older Nephew's Wife was very organized, and the grandmas, Younger Nephew's Wife & I pitched in to help set things up quickly (and take it all down at the end). She had Super Mario/gamer-themed plastic tablecloths, paper plates, napkins, etc., from the dollar store, juice boxes, water, bowls of chips & pretzels. Loot bags that we handed out at the end. And the cake, of course. :) Her mom also made cake pops and we put one in each loot bag. And they ordered a couple of party-sized pizzas to be delivered. 

The kids were so cute -- they were all so excited, but of course LGN#1 was the most excited of all! He hopped out of the car already wearing his party hat! Hugged all the kids (boys & girls) as they arrived and when they left, and hopped up on the platform when everyone was eating and yelled out, "Attention, everyone!  Are you all having a good time??"  And later, "Did everyone like the pizza?"  His grandfather thinks he's going to be a politician, lol. We went back to Older Nephew's house later to open presents and eat more food. Needless to say, we were in bed early that night, and last night too!   

The one thing that gave me pause was when a young mom arrived at the party room with her child in tow.  "Are you {LGN#1]'s grandma?" she enquired. (!)  

My first thought was "Do I LOOK old enough to be someone's grandma?"  And then I realized that to her, I probably did! lol  I just laughed and said, "No, THAT's [LGN#1]'s grandma, over there!"

And now... as you might imagine, in a room full of 20 little kids (plus about as many adults!), especially at this time of year... I feel like I'm getting a sore throat. :p  Not only that -- I grabbed someone else's bottle and took a swig out of it by mistake. Oops (and ewwww...).  (One mom breezily told Older Nephew's Wife that her child had been up half the night, sick to his stomach... but they came anyway.  ONW was NOT impressed.)   

Oh well, what's done is done...!  I handed around the Purell bottle when we got back into the car, lol  And I DID get both my flu and covid shots about two weeks ago (thank goodness!). I will gargle with salt water later. I guess if I'm going to be sick, better now than a month from now...!  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Super Mario/gamer-themed decor & cake.  :) 

Annoying things & small pleasures

Annoying things: 

• The neighbour two doors down must have gotten a dog/puppy... because over the past few weeks, it's been yelping/whining, on & off, sometimes for hours on end. (Dh has gone out into the hall and pinpointed the unit where the noise is coming from.) It's annoying as hell to have to listen to, and it also breaks my heart to think of that poor pup, who has probably been left all alone for hours on end. We are on the verge of sending a complaint to the property manager. 
• By contrast, our next door neighbour has two dogs (and works full time), and another neighbour a few doors down the hall has a new-ish puppy too. We hardly ever hear a peep from them. 
• The mall has been significantly busier, even on midweek mornings before noon, these past few weeks. (Already! Six weeks away from Christmas!) 
• Of course, the last timewe were there was last Tuesday, i.e., Remembrance Day -- a holiday for government  workers, if not everyone. 
• I was standing in the checkout line at Old Navy when the mall PA system asked for the traditional two minutes of silence, and began playing a recording of "The Last Post." (It was exactly 11 AM.)  I was pleasantly surprised when, within a few seconds, everyone in the store had stopped what they were doing and bowed their heads while the music played. 
• However, when the music stopped, everyone started talking and ringing up items again -- not realizing that they were supposed to remain silent for two full minutes. They were kind of startled when the closing bars of The Last Post began again, after the two minutes were up.  I guess they get points for the initial recognition of what to do, but...! Is two minutes of silence really too much to ask in these crazy times?? 
• House humidity has plunged since the temperatures started dropping. We started up the humidifier last week, and while it doesn't hurt, I'm not sure it makes a significant difference either. 
• I don't mind the chillier weather, but the relentlessly gloomy, grey, cloudy sky is already making my mood plunge. :(   
• Hopefully, things will perk up a bit once we put up the Christmas tree, later this month! 
• I've been referred (by my optometrist) back to the opthamologist who did the surgery on my right eye, three summers ago -- this time to check out my left eye, which may or may not be developing a similar problem. :( 
• Also annoying:  I couldn't get in to see her until early February. I really feel like I need new glasses (more surgery or not) -- the ones I have are 11 years old (!) and getting rather scratched up, so I think I'm due for a new pair, if only for aesthetic reasons! -- but I guess I'll have to wait at least a few months longer for those... 
• I also managed to put a noticeable scratch right in the centre of my the left lens of my computer/screen glasses recently (which, come to think of it, are about the same age as my regular ones!). :p  So I may need TWO new pairs... sigh... 
• Further annoying thing:  After I wrote this blurb, dh checked the mail and there was a letter from the opthamologist's office, confirming my appointment. For APRIL. The optometrist's office had called with the February date a couple of days ago. 
• I've left a message with the opthamologist's office, asking them to confirm the proper date. (Based on previous experience with this office, it may be a few days before I hear back from them.) Sigh... 
• (Before all this started, I was hoping I could have new glasses by Christmas or January at the latest... at this rate, Christmas 2026 might be more likely...!)  

Small pleasures: 

• Buying and (since Remembrance Day is over) wearing some new holiday PJ tops from Old Navy around the house. I don't often buy the coordinating PJ pants;  I mostly wear black yoga pants around the house. Somehow that feels a step up from pajamas!  (Am I deluding myself?  lol)  
• Starting to accumulate a pile of presents for both Little Great-Nephews' birthdays (one soon, one just before Christmas), as well as all three great-niblings for Christmas. 
• If you'd told me 20-25 years ago that I could not only enter a children's clothing store without wincing but also scour the racks with positive glee, I never would have believed you. 
• (I will admit, the sight of tiny pretty holiday dresses for little girls still has the power to sting. But for the most part, I enjoy myself!)  
• Meeting up with a childless friend (whom I first "met" online) for tea a few days ago :) at the coffee shop connected to a bookstore, about a half-hour's drive north of us (and about a half-hour's drive south from where she lives). Dh agreed to take me there, and browsed for books and presents for Little Great-Nephew #1's upcoming birthday while she and I chatted. 

Odds & ends

• I've been tired and going to bed earlier for the past week or two. And after reading one of Mel's recent Friday Roundups, I realized why!  (Personally, I blamed all those late-night World Series games! lol) 
• "What Might It Look Like Not to Have Children?"  Glynnis MacNicol at Good Decisions (who is childfree by choice) provides links to a decade's worth of her writing on the subject. 
• Pamela Tsigdinos recently discussed "Surviving the Trauma of IVF" on the Beyond Pronatalism podcast. 
• Y.L. Wolfe explains "Why People Who Don’t Have Children Deserve a More Inclusive Label" on the Life Without Children Substack. 
• Subhead: "Childless, childfree, non-parent…we shouldn’t have to define ourselves as the inverse of those who have kids."  
• (Related: The THIRD post I wrote for this blog, back in November 2007, pondered this question of unsatisfactory terminology: "Am I childLESS or childFREE?")  
• Here's an excerpt from Wolfe's post: 

Why do childless and childfree women often do so much soul-searching trying to settle on just the right label when mothers just get to be mothers without any need for distinction or an understanding of how they got there?

I can’t help but think that the answer is simple. Motherhood is the approved lifestyle choice for women in patriarchal cultures. Therefore, no matter how you got there, you get your gold star and no expectations to explain your circumstances.

Being a woman without children, however, will earn you judgment, criticism, and even hate. You can’t just say you don’t have children. People want to know why — and even though it’s rude as hell to ask, they will.

Maybe it just feels easier to preempt the invasive questions by carefully choosing the word we want to use to describe our non-parent status.

• This story, from The New York Times Magazine, is just WILD:  "She Was Ready to Have Her 15th Child. Then Came the Felony Charges."  Subhead:  "MaryBeth Lewis’s desire to be a new mom again, at 65 years old, led to a custody battle like no other."  Among other things, it touches on IVF, donor gametes, surrogacy and adoption. (Gift link.) 
• Related to the NYT Magazine article and the Lewis case, Jill Filipovic wrote a thoughtful post for her Substack, asking "Is it a Reproductive Right to Have Your 15th Child at 65?"  (Subhead:  "When women's desires and children's rights collide.")  
• Unfortunately, I believe it's paywalled for subscribers only -- but I can give you a taste of what's in it. The opening reads: 

Reproductive freedom is a core feminist principle. So are the rights of children. What happens, though, when those principles conflict? And in an era of incredible technological progress in assisted reproduction, should there be any limits to what women can choose?

• And, near the end, there's this: 
  
  

  To be clear, I am a big supporter of reproductive medicine and technological progress, including IVF and various forms of assisted reproduction (I have more misgivings about surrogacy, but still think it should be legal, if tightly regulated). And most people, when handed these new technologies, use them in ways that I find totally reasonable and largely ethical.

  
  

  But there are always outliers...

  
  
• (I thought Jill Filipovic was childless/free, but a recent Instagram post showed her husband wearing a baby carrier and the top of an infant's head peeking out in some photos. I can find nothing she's written about having a baby -- and a few of the photos show her doing some pretty crazy yoga poses, with a body that looks anything but post-partum -- unless they've adopted...??) 

#MicroblogMondays: The dog ate my #MM post

Okay, I don't have a dog. And I AM posting today, albeit later than I usually do on a #MM.  

However, I do have an excuse. 

I'll be honest, I didn't have anything drafted or planned in advance for a post today. I figured I'd have plenty of time today to think of something to write about.... and then write about it. But morning drifted into early afternoon...  

I was enjoying a large mug of tea (with milk and sugar), sometime before 2 PM, when... disaster. The half-full mug slipped out of my hands, sloshed all over my brand new WHITE top and yoga pants, onto the chair (fortunately, leather and wipeable) -- AND onto the keyboard of the laptop, sitting in my lap. (Thankfully, only a few drops got on the floor.) 

I sat there, stunned, for a moment. Dh sprang into action, unplugged the computer & took it over to the kitchen counter. I recovered my senses, got up and turned it upside down over the sink, to try to drain as much of the tea as I could out of the keyboard. Dh got the dishcloth & started wiping it down, then my wooden lapdesk (which the laptop sits on in my lap), and the chair.  

Once we'd mopped up most of the liquid we could see, I (finally) turned it off. I wiped down the keyboard with a cotton pad soaked in rubbing alcohol, and cleaned around/between the keys with cotton swabs also dipped in rubbing alcohol. (Note to self: must do this more often... ewww.....).  

I grabbed my phone and Googled "spilled tea on laptop keyboard" to try to figure out what else we should be doing. One post suggested turning it upside down over a towel. I think this would apply more to a conventional (desktop computer) keyboard vs a laptop -- I was afraid that opening up the laptop too far/wide might damage it (more than I might have already) -- so what I did was open it up, set a towel over the keyboard, close it and then turn it over, so that the keyboard part was facing down into the towel (and when I checked, there was a little more wetness coming off the keyboard, so it was obviously the right thing to do).  

Then I went to the bedroom and changed out of my wet clothes, spritzed my top with stain remover, and hung them up to dry (before putting them in the laundry). And then I called my personal Geek Squad -- i.e., my sister's techie partner -- for advice. 

I was relieved when he told me I was on the right track. He suggested that I should open the laptop up, turn it on its side (like an open book), and set it in front of a fan to help it dry out faster. I asked him how long I should keep it off before trying to turn it on, and he said a couple of hours should do the trick. He said the likeliest problem would be the keys getting gummed up.  

I held my breath, plugged it in after about 5 hours, and pressed "start."  

So far, so good. (Fingers crossed.)  I even managed to reopen all the tabs I'd had going before I shut everything down and pick up where I left off. (Thank you, Chrome History!)  

Next on the agenda:  That backup I've been procrastinating on doing... (I DID do one a month ago.)  

(Please tell me I'm not the only klutz this kind of thing has happened to...)

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

"Crooked Adam" by D.E. Stevenson

My D.E. Stevenson fan group recently started its group readalong/discussion of a novel we've never covered in the 27 (!)-year history of the group: "Crooked Adam."  I started reading the book just before our discussion began on Nov. 3rd, and read all the way through on my own, as is my usual practice. (I re-read each chapter as it comes up for discussion in the group, and I'll count the book as a re-read when we finish in February.) 

Goodreads lists "Crooked Adam"'s publication date as January 1940, while other sources say 1942.  At any rate, it's one of several DES novels that are set in World War II Britain -- during the early days of the war -- and written while the war was still going on and the outcome very much uncertain. 

"Crooked Adam" is Adam Southey, nicknamed as such by his schoolmates (and later, his students) because he is lame and walks with a limp. For that reason, he's not eligible to enlist, and is stuck teaching school at his alma mater -- and he's not happy about it. 

But Adam soon learns there's more than one way to serve your country: the school's headmaster, Sam Cooke (! -- not the singer, obviously, lol), a brilliant scientist, has developed a secret weapon that will help the war effort.  He's planning to take his work to a remote corner of the Scottish Highlands during the school's break, and build a working model of the weapon, and he invites Adam to come help him. 

But enemy agents are after the plans... and Adam and Dr. Cooke are in danger.  

A spy thriller/adventure novel is a bit of a departure for Stevenson from her usual family dramas and light romances -- although there are some romantic subplots here, and I was reminded in some ways of her 1936 novel "The Empty World" (reviewed here and here). (Also, she was a second cousin of Robert Louis Stevenson, who wrote "Treasure Island," among other classic novels, so perhaps it's not as much of a departure as one might think..!) As someone from my group observed, "The Empty World is Science Fiction with Thriller elements.  And Crooked Adam is a Thriller with Science Fiction elements."  

Unfortunately, there are a number of plot holes and weaknesses that marred the story for me. To name a few: 

• Characters are introduced (Dr. Cooke, Ford, Mr Brownlee and his pretty daughter Evelyn, etc.) and then fade into the background or disappear completely, while others come to the forefront (Ebby, Brenda). 
• Stevenson was obviously not a scientist, and a lot of the details about Dr. Cook's brilliant invention and how it works are glossed over ("you wouldn't understand...").  A certain amount of suspended disbelief is necessary. 
• There's a bizarre little tangent of a subplot involving a circus (!) that goes on for several chapters. 
• Adam is initially smitten with Evelyn, but quickly forgets her when he learns there's someone else in the picture -- especially when he meets the sad and mysterious Brenda (although I quite liked Brenda once we learned more of her story). 
• And I was irked by Adam's penchant for impulsive and risky behaviour: each time he finds himself in a pickle, he realizes he's been an idiot -- but once he survives that episode, he goes out and does something else that's equally or more risky and idiotic!

Still, we wouldn't have much of a story if he didn't -- and overall, this was a mildly entertaining romp through the Scottish Highlands.

A few people on Goodreads commented that this book reminded them of John Buchan's "The Thirty-Nine Steps." I haven't read the book but I have seen the 1935 movie several times, and I think it's a pretty apt comparison. "Crooked Adam" has a cinematic quality -- I could picture the scenes unfolding in my head, like a black-and-white 1940s movie, as I read.    

3 stars on both Goodreads and StoryGraph. 

This was Book #34 read to date in 2025 (and Book #1 finished in November), bringing me to 76% of  my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 4 books behind  schedule to meet my goal.  :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2025 tagged as "2025 books." 

#MicroblogMondays: My tormentor, my friend, my cousin

The phone rang earlier this afternoon, my parents' number. It was my dad, and I knew right away something was wrong. 

For one awful moment, I thought he was calling about my mom. (It wasn't that.)

But he had to repeat himself two or three times before I realized who he was calling about.  

My cousin. 65 years old. 11 months older than me. Died in his sleep overnight. 

(The freaky thing is, his dad ALSO died in bed, at 65, right at this time of year. Mid-October, 26 years ago.) 

He was a big guy (retired cop), had some health issues over the years, probably drank a little too much. Very opinionated -- revelled in being a sh*t disturber.  ;)  Lots of nervous energy.  

But he was full of life and laughs and jokes and stories. He knew EVERYONE. He'd send me photos of random people, out of the blue, and I'd think "Am I supposed to know this person?"  And then I'd realize I DID know this person. He was golf buddies with at least two guys I knew from high school. I used to joke that he should go to one of my high school reunions because he'd know as many people there as I did. 

We were born in the same small town, near where our grandparents farmed, and lived there for the first few years of our lives, and spent a lot of time together then. Later, both our families moved further afield, but we often stayed with his family when they lived in the city, and we saw each other at our grandparents' farm, summers and holidays. He was kind of like the big brother I never had. 

As we got older, he (and his brothers) used to tease the life out of me. I was a sensitive kid, and he made me miserable at times. And yet? As an adult, which cousin did I think of most often, want to see whenever we were "back home"? (Go figure...) 

Sadly, that didn't happen as often as either of us would have liked, especially after I got married and moved 1000 miles away to a different province, and he got busy with his own family (three kids, now adults -- the youngest is a few months older than Katie would have been). The last time I saw him was 7 years ago in the fall of 2018, when I was "home" for Thanksgiving, and he brought his mom (my aunt) and another aunt out to my parents' place from the city for a visit, one afternoon. (We took a photo then -- the last one I have of us together. I'm glad I have it.)

But we "friended" each other on social media (I tried to ignore the crass joke memes and political things he'd post -- and some of them WERE funny), and he'd occasionally message me privately with an old family photo, or a note about how his mom/my aunt was doing. Once in a while, he'd call me (often when he'd had a drink or two, I suspect). He always made me laugh. The last time we chatted, he told me he wanted to see me next time I was home, and he really wanted me to meet his oldest daughter, because she reminded him so much of me (!).  

And he'd always end off by saying, "Love you, cousin." And I'd tell him "Love you too."  

And I did.  

I will miss those calls. I will miss him. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

October was busy month!  The weather turned colder, the leaves on the trees (finally) turned colour, we (eventually) turned on the heat, and I reluctantly donned long pants, long sleeves and socks. :)  We spent some quality time with family on a couple of occasions, too.  

This month, we: 

• Went with dh to the supermarket for groceries and takeout soup or pizza slices for lunch (Oct. 6th, 13th, 20th & 27th). 
• Celebrated (Canadian) Thanksgiving with dinner at BIL's, together with the nephews, their wives and kids (Oct. 11th).  :) 
• Drove into midtown Toronto to our longtime optometrist's office (Oct. 15th). Both of us were suffering from dry, itchy eyes, and mine had become gritty and blurred and the lids puffy and red. I looked like I'd been crying for weeks.  :p   
• The earliest I could get an appointment with our usual doctor was mid-November (!), but his associate was able to see us on Oct. 15th.   
• We both walked away with prescriptions for drops and ointments (and were very impressed with her). She made comments and asked questions that clearly indicated she'd read my file!
• Stopped at the drugstore en route home to fill the prescriptions. 
• Returned for a follow-up visit on Oct. 22nd (and will be back again on Nov. 5th). Stopped at the drugstore en route home again to fill ANOTHER prescription...!  
• Headed to the mall for walking & shopping (Oct. 7th, 14th & 21st). 
• En route home on Oct. 21st, stopped briefly at Canadian Tire, Chapters (bookstore) and the supermarket for takeout pizza slices. 
• Spent a sunny fall afternoon at the McMichael Canadian Art Collection, where I have a membership. Toured the exhibits, strolled over to the artists' cemetery on the property (resting place for six of the Group of Seven, as well as the McMichaels themselves), had tea and some yummy lemon loaf in the cafe, and enjoyed the beautiful fall colours. 
• Had lunch and spent the afternoon at Younger Nephew's new house along with his parents (BIL & SIL) and Older Nephew & his family (Oct. 25th). :)  
• Stayed up late several nights (really, REALLY late, one night in particular...!) watching the World Series! (See "Watching," below.)  
• Drove out to our former community for our annual checkups with our family doctor (Oct. 30th).
• Went for brunch before heading home (see "Eating").  
• Marked 18 years writing this blog (!!!) (Oct. 31st).

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Also right now:  

Reading: This was a good reading month!  :)  I finished 6 (!) books in October -- probably my best reading month in a long time! (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2025 books"). 

• "We Solve Murders" by Richard Osman (the November book for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club).  (4.5-5 stars, my review)  
• "The Ministry of Time" by Kaliane Bradley.(4.5-5 stars; my review)
• "The Two Mrs. Abbotts" by D.E. Stevenson. Chapter-by-chapter reading & discussion with my D.E. Stevenson group, which started Aug. 4th and runs through mid-October. (3.5-4 stars; my review here.  Original 2015 review here;  most recent review here).  
• "Deliver Me From Nowhere" by Warren Zanes. (4 stars;  my review.) 
• "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe, part of another "slow readalong" with Footnotes and Tangents. Started Sept. 29th, finished Oct. 27th (5 weeks). (3 stars, my review.)  
• "The Safekeep" by Yael van der Wouden.  (4 stars;  my review.) 

This brings me to 33 books read in 2025 to date, 73% of my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 4 books behind pace to meet my goal.  :) 

Current reads: 

• "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's, where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  
• "I Am Half Sick of Shadows" by Alan Bradley (December) 
• "How To Kill Your Family" by Bella Mackie (January)
• "Ex-Wife" by Ursula Parrott (February) 
• "The Safekeep" by Yael Van der Wouden (March) 
• "You Are Here" by David Nicholl (April) 
• For my D.E. Stevenson group:  This list of upcoming books should keep us busy through 2025 or even into early 2026!  (A couple of the books are ones we covered shortly after I first joined the group back in 2014 -- you know you've been around for a while when....!)  
• Crooked Adam. Our group read will begin on Nov. 3rd and end on or before Feb. 3 (2026).  I have never read this one, and we've never tackled it during my 11 years with the group! so I'm looking forward to it!  
• The Four Graces, likely beginning in mid-February 2026 (original 2015 review here). 

• Footnotes and Tangents slow readalongs for the rest of 2025 & 2026 include:
• "The Blue Flower" by Penelope Fitzgerald (starts Nov. 3rd, runs for 7 weeks). 
• "Midnight’s Children" by Salman Rushdie (January–March) 
• "Regeneration" by Pat Barker (April–May)
• "The Inheritors" by William Golding (June)
• "Treacle Walker" by Alan Garner (July)
• "The Children’s Book" by A.S. Byatt (September–December)

(Not sure I will be doing all of these?  "War & Peace" and Hilary Mantel's Cromwell Trilogy will also be available again to paying subscribers who are interested!) 

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): 

• "The Man Who Ran Washington" by Peter Baker & Susan Glasser 
• "Rotten" by John Lydon 
• "Rosalind Franklin" by Brenda Maddox 
• "Gimme a Crisis" by Howard Green 
• "On the Hippie Trail" by Rick Steves 
• "Gone to an Aunt's" by Anne Petrie 
• "Q: A Voyage Around the Queen" by Craig Brown 
• "The Art Spy" by Michelle Young 
• "Murder on the Marlow Belle" by Robert Thorogood 

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Watching: 

• The World Series!! I normally don't pay a lot of attention to baseball, BUT, the home team (not just for this city but the entire country), i.e., the Toronto Blue Jays, made it into the playoffs -- beat the fabled New York Yankees in the first round in early October...then won the American League title vs the Seattle Mariners, and are now in the World Series vs the LA Dodgers. Game 7 of 7 is TONIGHT, here in Toronto. (eeekkkk....)  
• I couldn't help but think of our longtime family doctor, a legendary pitcher who possessed four (!) World Series rings from three different teams, and who died earlier this summer. He must have been smiling somewhere...  
• The Jays, of course, were back-to-back World Series champions in 1992 & 1993, and I remember staying up way too late on work nights watching! 
• This time around, we lasted 15 innings until 2 AM (!) for Game 3 in Los Angeles -- the second-longest World Series game ever played, 18 innings (!) -- before going to bed (!) (before things finally wrapped up around 3 AM!).  And then we got to stay up late again (not QUITE so late, thankfully...!) the next night -- and three more nights this week after that!  
• I went to one of the victory parades for the Jays' previous victories -- I think it was the one in 1993 -- with my boss on our lunch hour, as it was held on a work day and the parade route was not too far from our office. It was so crowded by the time we got to a spot, not too far from the SkyDome (it will never be the Rogers Centre to me), that we couldn't see a thing except the tops of some players' heads in their convertibles as they passed by. Oh well. 
• We stopped at a street vendor en route back to the office to get a hot dog for lunch -- and I think I got food poisoning because I was sick to my stomach later that afternoon. I've been wary of street vendors ever since then...!  
• One of dh's cousins and another cousin's husband had a pair of season tickets in those days & were present for the World Series games played at home, including the winners. Occasionally they'd give regular season tickets to other cousins, and dh & I went a couple of times (although we haven't been to a game in decades). The seats were in the nosebleed section, and we always got totally sunburned (with the retractable roof open), but it was always a fun day out nevertheless. 
• We also got tickets and took my parents when they came to visit one year, early in our marriage -- and dh memorably took Younger Nephew when he was about 11 or 12 and got tickets through his Little League team -- his older brother had a karate tournament that afternoon, so his parents were busy there. He spent Friday night with us, and then he & dh took the commuter train into the city to the game the next afternoon. (His parents & brother picked him up later that evening.)  It was his first Jays game, he was totally enthralled, and dh was tickled to be able to share that moment with him.  
• Figure skating: It's Grand Prix season (heading into the Olympics in Milan in February), and so far, two competitions have been held, in France and in China. Skate Canada is this weekend, in Saskatoon. I don't watch the Grand Prix events religiously, or at least as much of each competition as I used to (and, needless to say, the World Series is taking precedence this weekend...!), but between U.S. & Canadian TV coverage and the CBC's online streaming, I've been able to watch at least some of the events.  
• Upcoming events include NHK in Osaka, Japan (Nov. 7-9),  Skate America in Lake Placid, New York (Nov. 14-16), and the Finlandia Trophy in Helsinki, Finland (Nov. 21-23). 
• The final will be in Nagoya, Japan (Dec. 5-8). .  
• I watched the first episode of "The Gold" on Masterpiece Mystery (PBS), earlier this month, but forgot it was on the second week. Oh well, it was a little confusing anyway -- so many characters to keep straight, trying to decipher all the different accents...!  Interesting (true!) story, though!
• I watched the first two episodes of "House of Guinness" on Netflix with SIL & dh's cousin's wife while at their cottage in September, but haven't watched any more episodes on my own. (Yet?)   

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: Stats as of Oct. 31st: 
• Heardle 60s: 73.6% (797/1083, 319 on first guess), down 0.4% from last month. Max. streak: 15.
• Heardle 70s: 76.3% (629/824, 356 on first guess), down 0.5% from last month. Max. streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s: 40.7% (281/690, 101 on first guess), up 0.6% from from last month. Max. streak: 5.
• Heardle 90s: 32.6% (257/788, 68 on first guess), up 0.5% from last month. Max. streak: 5. 
• NYT Connections: 
•  As of Sept. 30th, I'd played 428 games and won 88% of them, including 220 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, including 10 where I got the most difficult/purple category first.  Maximum winning streak:  45 (unchanged). Current streak: 30. 
• By Oct. 31st, I'd completed 459 games and won 88% of them, including 241 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, including 12 where I got the most difficult/purple category first.  Maximum winning streak: 45 (unchanged). Current streak: 16. 

Listening;  Someone down the hall from us has a new baby. How do we know? There was an "It's a Boy!" balloon fastened to their door.  And we occasionally hear him crying or babbling. Fortunately, not too often and we're far enough down the hall that it's not too loud! (I don't think I would have handled this anywhere near as well, 25-ish years ago..!) 

Likewise -- another neighbour has a new puppy!  We know because (a) we occasionally hear him barking and (b) we've run into them entering or exiting the elevator, and were introduced.  :)  Likewise, it's not often enough or loud enough to be annoying. He's an adorable little golden doodle/ball of fluff, and even if he was more annoying than he is, you can't be too mad looking at that cute little face!  

Following:  

Eating/Drinking:  

• As I've mentioned before, we achieved our goal of lowering our cholesterol levels in late January, after less-than-stellar bloodwork (in fall 2024) earned us both serious chats with our family doctor. We've been trying to maintain/improve on those numbers (and lose/keep off some extra pounds) since then, by eating healthier and moving at least a little more.    
• I ended the month 0.6 pounds heavier than when it started (boo, hiss...). But overall, I'm down about 12 pounds since this time last year (dh has lost more than 20), and a little over 24 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight a few years ago. 
• We just saw our family doctor for checkups a few days ago, and will be doing some new bloodwork soon, so we'll see what the cholesterol numbers have to say...! 
• We brought out the crockpot on Oct. 5th for the first time since last spring for easy chicken & dumplings. (The first time I made this, it was pretty salty, so I now use low-fat/low-salt soups & broth, and go easy on the added salt.) 
• We celebrated Thanksgiving at BIL & SIL's with our nephews and their families on Oct. 11th. Like last year, they ordered dinner from the local supermarket:  turkey breast, mashed potatos and a root vegetable medley with gravy and cranberry sauce. There was lasagna (traditional tomato & meat sauce along with a pesto option for me) from another local eatery, SIL made salad and stuffing from a box, and the nephews brought pies for dessert. It wasn't quite my family's usual turkey dinner, but it wasn't bad either, and we continued to eat turkey for the next two days (!) -- SIL sent us home with plenty of leftovers!  (The kids were both having dinner the next day with their respective in-laws and did not take any, so...!)  
• Lunch at Younger Nephew's new home on Oct. 25th included pasta alfredo, pork tenderloin, roasted potatos & root vegetables, salad, and an apple cake and melon for dessert. Yum! 
• We stopped off at our favourite local brunch place, en route home from our annual check-ups with our family doctor on Oct. 30th, for omelettes & home fries (Western for him, ham & cheese for me). 
• We also indulged in some of our usual takeout meals for lunch once or twice a week, plus Saturday night dinners, including rice bowls, soup and pizza slices from the supermarket, and Swiss Chalet (rotisserie chicken with baked potatos).

Wearing:  I finally caved and had to abandon my capris & sandals, mid-month, for longer yoga pants/jeans, socks and shoes. :(   I've still been wearing short-sleeved T-shirts, but I've had to put on a cardigan over them lately...! 

Buying (besides books, lol):  Continued to purchase Canadian products (or from Canadian companies), as much as possible ;) (albeit I will admit I'm not as much of a purist as some people seem to be...!).  

Plane tickets to be with my family at Christmastime. (Ouch -- travel within Canada is NOT CHEAP, especially at holiday time...!)   

Ordered my "Favourite Things" box (formerly known as the Advent Calendar) from my favourite sterling silver jewelry maker.  :)  I'll get it in late November. 

Canadian Tire gift card as a housewarming present for Younger Nephew & family. (It sells a lot more than tires, lol -- it's kind of a combination Home Depot/Walmart/auto supply store.) 

Started stocking up on presents for the great-niblings' upcoming birthdays (both Little Great-Nephews -- one in mid-November and one just before Christmas) and for Christmas. 

Found a cute Christmas-y photo frame and placemats at Homesense.  

And I already bought my Christmas cards!  Saw some I liked at Shoppers Drug Mart and decided to grab them while I could!  (Fingers crossed that Canada Post doesn't go on strike again...!)

Noticing:  ...in the shower, a few days ago, a weird black spot on the edge of my right second toe nail/cuticle. It almost looks like I put a black dot there with a Sharpie. There's gel/shellac polish on the nail, so it's hard to see just how big the spot is, and whether it extends under the polish/nail as well.  

I initially panicked -- the brother of my high school best friend died at age 40 from melanoma that started under one of his toenails and spread before they figured out it was more than just a weird nail fungus. :(  And then I wondered whether it was some weird reaction to the gel polish, or the UV light they use to cure/dry it. (I don't normally get gel polish, but the nail tech talked me into it... it was more money, of course = bigger tip for her.)  

But then I remembered that I stubbed my toe -- more than once! -- on the leg of the bed at the cottage when we were there a few weeks ago. I don't remember if it was that particular toe, but I remember one of my other toenails turning black/purple before fading -- and eventually falling off completely -- after I banged it once, years ago. It was several months before that bruise faded and the new nail began to grow in. The more I look at it, the more I think that's probably what it is.  

Anyway, I've been referred to a dermatologist for rosacea issues (related to the eye issues I've been having lately) :p so I will get the polish removed before my appointment (in mid-December) and ask him to have a look while I'm there. (I showed my family dr when I was there a few days ago, and he said it didn't look like a melanoma to him, more likely a bruise, but to definitely ask the dermatologist.)  

Wondering:  Whether I'm going to need more eye surgery (on my left eye this time). :(   Hoping that won't be the case...! 

Prioritizing: Taking care of my eyes, taking all my meds & drops, etc. 

Anticipating: Getting our flu and covid shots tomorrow morning.  And being tired, after staying up late watching the World Series tonight, the time change tonight, getting up early to drive to the clinic, and the effects of the shots themselves, lol.  (I guess I could have timed things better -- we could have gotten the shots next weekend too -- oh well...!) 

Enjoying: The beautiful fall colours (which finally made an appearance, mid-month!), and the morning light on them. 

Appreciating: Being Canadian (more than ever...!).  

Loving:  Seeing photos of the great-niblings in their Halloween finery before heading out for trick-or-treating.  :)  

 

Trying: Not to dwell on things, especially things that aren't in my control. 

Wanting: A Blue Jays victory tonight (and it wouldn't hurt if it was at a decent hour...!  lol).  

                              

Feeling: A little dazed by how quickly the year has gone by so far/is going...!  Sad that the time change will bring darkness with it even earlier in the evening from now through the winter solstice. A bit stressed, thinking of all the things I need to do before we had west to see my family at Christmastime.  Thankful that I'm retired, and that year-end stuff at work is no longer among those things...!