"The Young Clementina" by D.E. Stevenson

My first book finished in December is the latest selection under discussion by my D.E. Stevenson fan group. "The Young Clementina" was first published in 1935 as "Divorced From Reality," and has also been published as  "Miss Dean's Dilemma." 

From the title, I expected the main character's name to be Clementina... but our heroine is Charlotte Dean, who grows up in the small rural community of Hinkleton, where her father is the pastor and her best friend is Garth Wisdon, heir to Hinkleton Manor. Predictably, they fall in love. But then the First World War intervenes. Garth returns a changed person and winds up marrying Char's spoiled younger sister, Kitty.  After the death of her beloved father, heartbroken Char retreats to London where she works in a library for 12 years -- until (now in her mid-30s) she becomes involved in a scandalous divorce case. Hinkleton once again becomes a refuge for Char, when she returns to care for her niece & goddaughter/Garth & Kitty's daughter (the Clementina of the title) in the absence of her parents.  

This is one of Stevenson's early novels (first published in 1935), and it's noticeably different (darker) in tone and style from some of her other, later works. Group members have suggested she was still trying to find her authorly "voice."  It's a rather melodramatic tale, with some slightly predictable/cliched plot developments (or at least we'd find them predictable & cliched today), and the first-person narration and slightly formal language reminded me just a bit of "Jane Eyre."  Modern readers will also find some of the casual colonialism/racism/sexism (emphasis on wives bearing sons & heirs) jarring (not to mention the suggestion of a May/December romance with an underaged girl...!). 

In its favour, it does have DES's usual well-drawn characters, witty dialogue and lovely descriptions of English country life in the 1930s, including the warm friendship that develops between Char and her neighbour Paula. It also has some compelling descriptions of life in England during and after the Great War. (I must admit that a sentence about influenza ravaging the village after the war gave me pause...!) 

We're just beginning our discussion of this book, which usually adds to my appreciation of the story. I can't say this will top my list of DES favourites, but it was nevertheless a pleasant read. 

I'll count this one again as a re-read when we're finished our chapter-by-chapter group discussion, early in 2021.  

3 stars on Goodreads. 

This was Book #40 read to date in 2020 (Book #1 finished in December), bringing me to 133% of my 2020 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 30 books. I have completed & now exceeded my challenge goal for the year by 10 books, and am (for the moment, anyway...!) 12 books ahead of schedule. :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2020 tagged as "2020 books." 

Odds & ends

• I've been baking up a storm this past week. :)  I made my Grandma's Swedish spritz cookies (with a cookie press) and crinkle-top molasses cookies, as well as a shortbread cookie made with Skor  (toffee) bits. I got that recipe from a friend/former blogger, and have been dying to try it. (I don't think Skor bars are available in the States, or at least not widely? -- but they're similar to Heath bars. You can also use butterscotch chips, but I don't think the effect would be the same.) I've reserved a few dozen of each for me & dh to munch on over the holidays, but I'll be taking a good portion of the results to share with BIL & SIL and the nephews. 
• I received a notification earlier this afternoon that the region where we live, just outside of Toronto, will be going (back) into lockdown on Monday. :(  It was inevitable;  I think they were going to do it when Toronto did a few weeks ago (& they probably should have then) but the local politicians begged for an exception. The numbers haven't improved since then (and everyone from Toronto & the other nearby locked-down regions have been coming here to shop & eat in restaurants, since everything there is closed...) and so back to lockdown it is. :(   I'm pretty sure all non-essential retail businesses, restaurants & gyms will be closed (including the bookstore), except for curbside pickup and takeout food. The supermarkets & drugstores will stay open. 
• Thank goodness we're pretty well set in terms of Christmas presents for Little Great-Nephew... We didn't get any toys yet, but I have a couple of little tops/onesies I ordered from Baby Gap and three books, plus we'll give him money. The nephews & nieces-in-law will get money and baking (lol) and I got cards & gift bags the last time we were at the bookstore.  Dh & I were going to go shopping on our next bookstore & drugstore visits to fill stockings for each other;  guess we'll see how that goes. I'm sure it will be nuts everywhere today, tomorrow & Sunday, now that they've announced this. :(  
• We recently learned that the husband of one of dh's cousins is recovering from a bout of COVID-19.  He's the first family member that we're aware of who's had it. :(  
• We got to the series finale of "Downton Abbey" this week on CBC television -- and then started all over again with the first episode of season 1. (Yay!)  We didn't start watching until the very end of season 1/start of season 2, so there's still almost a full season of episodes we haven't seen. 
• It's been funny to see how different some of the characters were at the start of the series, compared to the end. Cora was a lot less likeable, for one thing. Mary & Edith were both wide-eyed ingenues (albeit still not getting along...!). Carson, Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore were all much more harsh with the underlings. 
• Speaking of Mrs. Patmore, some of you saw my blog tribute to her a few posts ago. :)  But you may have missed my later comment:  "I could also write a post singing the praises of Aunt Rosamund... welcoming all of them repeatedly into her home in London (even though they have their own vast mansion sitting there empty), giving up 10 months of her life to cover for Edith and take her to Europe to have her baby in secret. We were just watching the final regular episode of the final season yesterday (where Mary & Henry finally marry -- there's still the "Christmas special" which ended the series, with Edith & Bertie's New Year's Eve wedding) -- and there's a scene where Lord Grantham, Rosamund's brother, makes a comment to the effect of how Rosamund doesn't understand because she doesn't have children -- and she says very sharply, "No I don't have my own children, thank you for reminding me of that." Go, Rosamund! ;) "
• This article from the Guardian talks about the devastating impact the pandemic has had on some women's hopes for motherhood -- single women whose dating prospects have been considerably dampened by stay-at-home orders, couples whose planned fertility treatments were delayed or cancelled, lost jobs, etc. 

#MicroblogMondays: Annoying things, small pleasures and other odds & ends

Annoying things: 

• 
  The Elf on the Shelf is back. He started appearing in my American friends' social media feeds directly after U.S. Thanksgiving, and elsewhere promptly on Advent Sunday/Dec. 1st.  As I made quite clear in a post several years back ;) (also here), anytime I feel sorry for myself that I don't have kids, I just think about having to remember to figure out some cutesy new situation or pose for the damned Elf -- every! single! day! during December (well, for the first 24 days, at any rate...!) -- and not just for one year but for as long as my kids believe in the thing. NO THANK YOU!! 
• Waking up and thinking it must be morning -- only to look at the clock and see it's still only 1:30 a.m.!! 
• Looking at my Christmas to-do list -- presents to organize (albeit not as many as I'd usually be buying), baking I want to do, cards to finish -- and feeling complete inertia. :p  (ETA:  I did get a batch of cookies baked yesterday afternoon... it's a start!) 

Small pleasures: 

• Coming out of the shower last Tuesday morning to find that dh had already set up & plugged in the Christmas tree. :)  It still needed to be "fluffed" and decorated, but just having it up and seeing the lights on made me feel infinitely happier and more Christmas-y. :)  
• Decorating the tree the next day, and having it on (all day, every day!) since then. :)  
• Not so pleasant:  I'll admit I had a few "moments" as I started taking out the ornaments and framed photos of my family from Christmases past. It hit me all over again that I'm not going home for Christmas -- that I won't be decorating Mom & Dad's tree this year with all the old familiar ornaments -- that it's been a full year since I last saw them and that I might not see them until at least NEXT Christmas (if I'm lucky), even if things start turning around in 2021. I had a good sob on dh's shoulder, then took a deep breath & started putting things on the tree. (But I made sure that none of the Christmas CDs I was playing included the song "I'll Be Home for Christmas" -- that would have set me off again...!)  
• Using my stash of holiday-themed essential oils in my diffuser... scents of pine, cinnamon and peppermint. :) 
• Sharing some of my holiday recipes with SIL, and thinking that just maybe they might survive me, if nothing else. Not a bad legacy to leave...!  :) 
• Cyber Monday orders from online retailers arriving at my door -- already! -- well before their estimated arrival dates. 
• New, fun, holiday-themed masks from Old Navy, colour coordinated with my outfits (much to dh's amusement), lol.  
• Adjustable ear straps! 
• Some cute onesies and T-shirts for Little Great-Nephew from Baby Gap, 50% off -- including a tiny Ramones T-shirt. :)  (His dad will like that one, lol.) 
• New adorable photos and videos of Little Great-Nephew posted on social media by his mom, including one of him playing with the dog & giggling madly. :) 
• Sunshine and blue skies after days of wet, dreary darkness. 
• (Finally!!) Feeling like myself again, post-hysteroscopy/d&c. It took me almost a full week before the cramping, spotting and general fatigue started to subside. I guess maybe I overdid it, or maybe I'm just not as young & resilient as I used to be? 

Other odds & ends (neither annoying nor particularly pleasurable): 

• I've been having some weird dreams again lately. I don't always remember them, but in a recent one, I dreamed I was in a crowded drugstore in Washington, D.C., and NOBODY was wearing a mask. I was horrified when I realized this, and even more so when I realized I wasn't wearing one either. I held my breath as I started fumbling in my purse. I found two sock masks I'd stashed there in case of an emergency and put them both on, one on top of the other. Sign of the times?? 
• I wound up attending my high school class (of 1979)'s Christmas party Zoom call on Saturday night. There were about 15 of us (from a graduating class of just over 100 people, 55 of whom are on the class Facebook group) -- 14 women and one guy (who always got along with everyone and isn't fazed by a bunch of gabby girls, lol) -- and we chatted for two hours... once we got everyone onboard & mikes unmuted, etc. (Some of us, at almost 60, are more computer-savvy than others...!) A good chunk of them still live in town (several of them married to other classmates!) and see each other regularly -- the Zoom party was in lieu of their regular Christmas gathering. But three of my best friends from the class signed up, which made me feel more comfortable being there (how very high school of me, right??  lol) and there were a few others who RSVPd yes that I knew I wouldn't mind/was curious about seeing. 
• It turned out pretty well. (Wine helped, lol.) Even if most of these people weren't really friends with me in high school, there's a certain comfort level that comes from a shared past and geography. 
• We went around the group & each gave a brief "what I've been doing since high school" spiel. (In some ways, I think we actually got to talk to each other more and learn more about each other than we probably would have at a real-life/in person gathering!) 
• Of course everyone mentioned how many kids & grandkids they had. Not all of them have grandkids (yet -- one woman's first grandchild was just born last week), but needless to say, I was the only one (in this subset of the class, at least) who didn't have any kids. I just didn't mention anything along those lines (never complain, never explain...), and nobody asked (thankfully).  My best friends, of course, know my story, and I'm sure several of the others have heard something through the grapevine. 
• My classmates' kids are all grown up now, of course -- in their 20s & 30s -- not likely to wander into the frame to distract the call (particularly right now with COVID). We did get to see a lot of very cute dogs, though. :) 
• One girl (who I didn't know very well in school) mentioned that she works with the local Compassionate Friends group. I missed out on the full story there -- I was chatting in the text box with someone else -- but I think she lost a daughter. Of course, one of my good friends lost her daughter in a car accident last year (as well as her brother and both her parents in recent years), and has taken great comfort in her own local Compassionate Friends chapter.  A good reminder that grief & loss of some kind happen to us all, eventually (especially over a timespan of 40+ years). 
• Many of my classmates have lost parents or are dealing with their aging issues. Spaces in local care homes are hard to come by, and some mentioned parents & other seniors they know being sent to homes up to an hour & a half away, while they wait for a local space to open up. Yikes!! 
• Annoying thing: looks like I'm the first person in the class (or at least out of the ones who were chatting) who will turn 60 in January. I know another classmate has a January birthday that's earlier than mine, but someone said she was actually born in 1962, not 1961, and so will only be 59. Hmmm...

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

A tribute to Mrs. Patmore :)

Hail to Mrs. Patmore,   
ruler of the Downton Abbey kitchen. 

Dh & I have been (re)watching (and hugely enjoying) reruns of "Downton Abbey" on weekday afternoons this fall on CBC TV (which should be wrapping up next week). 

One of my favourite characters is Mrs. Patmore, the cook. "Mrs." was a courtesy title traditionally given to the cook & housekeeper of great houses like Downton, whether they had ever been married or not. All indications are that neither Mrs. Patmore nor Mrs. Hughes (the housekeeper) were ever married or had children -- that is, until Mrs. Hughes married Mr. Carson, the butler -- after which Mrs. Patmore observes, a bit wistfully, "I suppose (Mrs. Hughes) knows the mystery of life by now, which is more than I can say for myself.” (lol) 

Nevertheless, it recently struck me that Mrs. Patmore is probably the most "motherly" figure on the show. 

She tutors Lady Sybil in some basic cooking skills before she heads off for nurse's training during the war. She also encourages footman Alfred's culinary ambitions, and he eventually lands a spot in a prestigious chef's training program at the Ritz in London. 

She lobbies both Carson and Lord Grantham to have her nephew Archie's name included on the local war memorial, and is crushed when it's excluded because he was executed for desertion. (Today, Archie would probably be diagnosed with PTSD and sent home for mental health treatment.) Lord Grantham comforts her by commissioning a special plaque dedicated to Archie, mounted on a wall near the town memorial and unveiled at the same time.

But it's Mrs. Patmore's relationship with Daisy the kitchen maid (who, under her tutelage, becomes the assistant cook) that best demonstrates her nurturing qualities. While she barks at Daisy and prods her to do better -- as any mother probably would -- her bark is far worse than her bite, and she is clearly Daisy's biggest champion.  She encourages Daisy to accept footman William's proposal as he heads off to war (to give him something to look forward to while he's "over there") -- and then to marry him as he lays on his deathbed, even though she never truly loved him. She also encourages Daisy to befriend William's lonely father, Mr. Mason -- and there are hints of a romance between herself & Mr. Mason by the end of the series! 

When Valentine's Day comes along, she sends Daisy an anonymous card, to ensure that Daisy doesn't feel left out. When Daisy gently turns down Alfred, Mrs. Patmore tells her, "I couldn't be prouder of you if you were my own daughter." Perhaps most importantly, she encourages Daisy to pursue her education, and pays for schoolteacher Sarah Bunting to serve as Daisy's tutor. And she's devastated when Daisy briefly considers leaving Downton to seek her fortune in London. 

Mrs. Patmore may be a fictional character, but she's beautifully written, and beautifully acted by Lesley Nicol. Couldn't all of us benefit from a Mrs. Patmore in our lives??

Right now

Right now... (an occasional (mostly monthly) meme, alternating from time to time with "The Current"). (Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first "The Current" post, here.)

November was Full Month #8 (going on 9) of life in the age of COVID-19, with new cases rising at an alarming/record rate. :(  On top of dh's usual weekly trips to the supermarket for groceries and for takeout dinners on Saturday nights, we ventured out together (masks firmly in place) three times to the bookstore, once to the drugstore, and once to a children's wear store (to shop for a birthday present for Great-Nephew). We celebrated little Great-Nephew's first birthday with his parents (Older Nephew & his wife), grandparents (BIL & SIL), uncle & aunt (Younger Nephew & his wife) -- masks on.  

Late in the month (last week), I went to a local hospital for a COVID-19 test and bloodwork, and then returned two days later for a hysteroscopy and d&c. (Still waiting on the pathology results.) 

Otherwise, we've continued to stay close to home.

*** *** ***

Reading: I read 2 books in November (reviewed on this blog & tagged “2020 books”):

• "Amberwell" by D.E. Stevenson (a re-read with my DES online group).
• "Do You Feel Like I Do?"  by Peter Frampton.

So far this year, I've read 39 books, bringing me to 130% of my 2020 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 30 books. I have completed & now exceeded my challenge goal for the year by 9 books, and am (for the moment, anyway...!) 13 (!) books ahead of schedule. :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2020 tagged as "2020 books." 

Current read(s):   

• "Hoax" by Brian Stelter (didn't touch this one all month...!).  
• "The Blue Castle" by L.M. Montgomery (read & reviewed on my own in August, now reading along & discussing with my L.M. Montgomery Readathon group on Facebook over the next few weeks/months)(and enjoying it hugely!).  
• "The Midnight Library" by Matt Haig. (This was the November pick for the Gateway Women book club -- which will be revealing its December book shortly... eeekkkk.... I haven't gotten very far into it yet...) 

• "The Young Clementina" by D.E. Stevenson (my DES online group just started this one). 

A few recently purchased titles (in both digital and paper formats):   

• "A Promised Land" by Barack Obama 
• "No Time Like the Future" by Michael J. Fox 
• "The Vanishing Half" by Britt Bennett 
• "Hidden Valley Road" by Robert Kolker 
• "The Answer Is..." by Alex Trebek 
• "Exciting Times" by Naoise Dolan (as recommeded by Mel ;)  ) 

Watching: We're now in the final season of "Downton Abbey," which we started watching together earlier this fall, every weekday afternoon on CBC TV (mentioned here). Not sure if they'll start at the beginning all over again when it's done, or replace it with something else? 

The last few episodes of  "Jann" aired earlier in November.  "Battle of the Blades"  also ended recently, after a six-week run. I would have been happy with almost any of the couples (figure skaters paired with hockey players, both female & male) to win -- they were all really, really great this year. The eventual champions were Olympic pairs medallist (and mom of a preemie baby girl, now one year old) Meagan Duhamel & hockey player Wojtek Wolski. The couples compete to raise funds for their favourite charities, and Meagan's winnings are going to support the Sandra Schmirler Foundation. Sandra Schmirler was a beloved Canadian curler who led Canada to a gold medal in the first-ever women's Olympic curling championship in 1998. She died in 2000 at age 36 from cancer, leaving a husband and two young daughters.  Her foundation's mission is to raise funds for hospital NICUs (neonatal intensive care units) and provide scholarships to junior curlers. 

Listening:  I haven't started listening to Christmas music yet, but will probably put on a few of my favourite CDs in the coming days, especially once we start decorating! 

Following:  The COVID-19 case numbers intently (as I have almost since the beginning of the pandemic), with an added focus now on my home province of Manitoba, where case rates have gone up dramatically since the summer. :(  There's a blank space in my Filofax calendar (week on two pages), and every Monday, I write down the numbers of total cases & deaths for the world, U.S., Canada, Ontario, Manitoba, Toronto and the region outside Toronto where we live. Comparing the numbers week to week (& over time) is sobering. 

Eating/Drinking:  Takeout dinners this month have included some of our favourites:  rotisserie chicken, Chinese food, wood oven pizza, and pasta with rapini, olive oil & garlic. Yum! 

Buying (besides books, lol):  Birthday presents (a couple of outfits, and some cash) for Great-Nephew. I took advantage of the Cyber Monday sales to buy some Christmas books & outfits for him too -- as well as some essential oils products that I've been running low on (since I won't be going to the store at the mall anytime soon). And some festive holiday season masks from Old Navy for dh & me (also on sale!).  ;) 

Wearing: I broke my usual rule about wearing yoga pants outside the house for my trip to the hospital.  ;)  Comfort rules (especially in situations like that)!  

Waiting: For the results from my hysteroscopy/d&c. The gynecologist will call me with the results... just before Christmas (of course...!). Praying that they will be good...!! 

Trying:  Not to worry too much. 

Also trying to think of some ways to make our COVID Christmas at home/away from my family fun & special, even if it's not the Christmas we had hoped for.  I'm still feeling too tired/crampy from my procedure to do too much yet, and that's kind of frustrating. :(  

Wanting: To do some Christmas baking -- some of the cookies & goodies my mom always made/makes at this time of year, and some recipes I've discovered and made on my own in the past. I'll probably share anything I do make with BIL, SIL & the nephews (I've gained enough weight lately as it is...!).  I have my recipe cards all set out, and I have the ingredients on hand to make at least some of them... 

Loving: My wonderful dh, who always takes such good care of me. <3 So, so grateful for him! 

Feeling:  Relieved to have the surgery behind me. A little apprehensive as I wait for the pathology results (so close to Christmas!).  Thankful for the welcome distraction of Little Great-Nephew's cuteness, in the photos & videos his parents post on social media. :)  Enormously sad that I won't be going home for Christmas for the first time in my life (and won't be able to spend much if any time with dh's family as consolation either!), because of the pandemic. 

And yet, still happy that it's Christmastime -- my favourite holiday season :) and a reason for some fun & joy, especially amid the gloom of a COVID-19 winter. 

#MicroblogMondays: Odds & ends

• 
  State of the uterus: okay, but I guess I shouldn't have expected to feel completely back to normal overnight...!  I had a LOUSY night's sleep Saturday/Sunday, so I was very tired and out of sorts all day yesterday. (Plus -- TMI warning -- constipated.  I was told that might happen...!)  Better on that end of things this morning ;) but now I'm spotting a little more. But I don't think it's anything out of the ordinary. Had a somewhat better sleep last night but I'm still feeling tired. Baby steps...! 
• I thought this piece in the Guardian -- from the perspective of an unpartnered childless woman in her 40s -- was really well done. 
• The fallout continues from Lena Dunham's piece in Harper's magazine (which I wrote about here and here).   
• "Live Childfree with Erik & Melissa" has a new podcast episode discussing the infertility community's harsh reaction to Dunham's article.  
• The "Infertile AF" podcast weighed in on the same subject, but from a very different perspective...!  (The hosts did eventually agree that the childless-not-by-choice segment of the infertility community deserves more support and understanding.)   
• By now you've probably heard that the Duchess of Sussex (aka Meghan Markle) had a miscarriage last summer, and wrote about it for the New York Times. It's not just about her miscarriage -- although that's been the focus of the headlines & news coverage -- but a plea for kindness and consideration for each other at the end of this very tough year. 
• Jody Day of Gateway Women was asked to comment on a related story in The Guardian. Of course they cut off the part of her quote where she mentioned that not all women who miscarry go on to become mothers, and how this is missing from the growing miscarriage narrative. (Eyeroll.)  But they did conclude the article with her saying, “This is precisely how taboos are broken – when people choose to speak out despite knowing they will be criticised, attacked and shamed for doing it.”
• On social media, Jody shared a wonderful guest blog she wrote a few years ago for Tommy's charity in the U.K. about childlessness after miscarriage (& other pregnancy losses). 
• Also this week, the other Royal Duchess (of Cambridge, the former Kate Middleton) delivered a major speech on a pet cause of hers:  the importance of the early years of childhood... with a surprising (and very welcome!) nod to the role non-parents play in children's development.  Quote (emphasis mine):  

People often asked why I care so passionately about the early years. Many mistakenly believe that my interest stems from having children of my own. And while of course I care hugely about their start in life, this ultimately sells the issue short.

Parenthood isn’t a prerequisite for understanding the importance of Early years. If we only expect people to take an interest in the early years when they have children, we aren’t only too late for them, we are underestimating the huge role others can play in shaping our most formative years too.

• This article, about creative therapy and sharing after the loss of a child, was shared by a friend on Facebook. The author's daughter was stillborn 22 years ago. Needless to say, all I could think was, "This could be me..." 
• Another friend flagged this story on Facebook:  an arbitrator upheld the reprimand filed against a British Columbia teaching assistant, who told her co-worker -- who is Black, born in Ghana -- "at least I am from here." And (as if the racism wasn't bad enough) she was also reported to have said, "I don't have to respect you. I am a mother and a taxpayer." (Note: the Black woman is also a mother. And a taxpayer.) Does she think that being a (non-Black) mother gives her some sort of edge of superiority?? Or means she doesn't have to show respect for her coworker??  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

State of the uterus: All is well :)

(So far, anyway.) Obviously we still have to get the pathology reports, but the dr called dh (while I was still doped up) & told him everything looked normal; he did a Pap, took some tissue samples & removed a few polyps. I have to call his office on Monday to arrange for a follow-up in 3-4 weeks. (Just before Christmas. Ho ho ho...) 

It was a LONG day. My appointment was for 10:30; I was supposed to be there for 8:30. It takes half an hour to get there but we wanted to be safe & so we got up around 5:30 and left an hour ahead at 7:30.  I was told to check in at emergency. They wouldn't let dh come in with me (even though he was my designated driver and post-op caregiver), so we said goodbye there. He stayed in the car in the parking lot the ENTIRE TIME, poor guy. He had his phone & e-reader to keep him company. He would NOT go home or even to get a coffee (because then he'd have to use a public washroom...!). 

They gave me a fresh mask & directed me to patient registration, and from there to the day surgery waiting area. (I think I must have answered the COVID screening questionnaire at least half a dozen times as I moved from checkpoint to checkpoint.)  It was all very efficient, and everywhere I went, the staff were just wonderfully nice. I kept thinking it must be so stressful working there right now with COVID hanging over them all, but everyone was just lovely. Bless them all! 

I was met at the door to the day surgery waiting area by a volunteer, who took me to the change area, gave me my gowns & shower cap for my hair & plastic bag slippers (I was allowed to keep my socks on, lol), gave me plastic bags for my shoes & my clothes, and a locker to store them in. She told me I could keep my phone until they came to get me, and then I'd have to lock that up too, along with my glasses. She took me over to a waiting area where they had comfy chairs in front of a TV screen (tuned to the local 24 hours news channel) and gave me a heated blanket to cover up with. I texted back & forth with dh, read my phone, browsed the Black Friday sales (lol). (I even bought a couple of books for my Kobo e-reader via my phone.) 

My surgery was scheduled for 10:30 but I didn't get called until 11:15 & wasn't in the surgery room until 11:30. Hopped up on the table myself. They put a blood pressure cuff on one arm & then tried to insert an IV on my left hand. The anesthesiologist tied a really tight tourniquet on my upper left arm, & then the nurse was squeezing my lower arm & hand to try to get a vein to pop out. OW OW OW. They finally got it in. 

Then they tried to put an oxygen mask on me. I couldn't breathe & started getting a bit teary/panicky, so they just held it right above my nose & mouth (but not ON it) so I could still breathe air from outside, until the IV drugs started kicking in & knocked me out (and then they intubated me for the procedure -- he said I might have a bit of a sore throat afterwards, but it's barely noticeable). The oxygen mask brought back memories of being a little girl in the hospital, having tests & stuff done for my childhood bladder/kidney condition. My mom was only allowed to be with me during regular visiting hours so I was all by myself with the nurses & drs  It was all pretty traumatic, and I had nightmares about hospitals for years & years afterwards. I'm generally much better these days about hospitals, but I guess something like that was a bit of a trigger. :(  

Next thing I knew I was in the recovery area and it was 1 o'clock. I was very groggy & whenever I tried to open my eyes & focus the room started going up & down. The nurse brought me some ice chips. Eventually, they moved me back into the day surgery waiting area (where I went when I first arrived). They gave me some ginger ale & a few packages of cookies. I didn't eat them then but they put them in the bag with my stuff & I ate them on the way home, lol. Eventually, they brought me the bag from the locker with my clothes & shoes and put my glasses & phone on the bedside tray. They changed my pad & helped me to get dressed, and gave me a list of dos & don'ts for the next few days -- but I was still feeling a bit groggy/woozy so they let me lay there for another 20-30 minutes & then finally called poor dh to come pick me up at the main door. Got me into a wheelchair & brought me out to the car. We got home around 3:30. 

I thought, "I'd better call my mom, she'll be worried." Would you believe she didn't remember??!  (eyeroll)  She hadn't written it down & forgot that this was the day. She said, "In fact, I was going to call & try to talk you into putting it off" (because of COVID). I said, "Too late!!"  I waited five weeks to get this done as it was, I was just glad to get it over with." SIL called later too to see how I was, and dh emailed my sister (I called her this afternoon). I went to bed around 7:30 (!).  Didn't sleep very well, especially at first, but at least I was resting. I was a little anxious at first because I was having some initial trouble peeing (sorry if TMI) but it got easier as the night went on. I'm feeling a lot better today -- hardly any bleeding and the cramping/discomfort hasn't been too bad at all.  

Thanks again for all your good wishes, and for listening to/reading my ramblings leading up to this!  I'm just so glad it's over! (Well, except for the results.)  I'm planning to take it easy for the rest of the weekend -- and then hopefully put up the Christmas tree early next week! :)