Friday, October 7, 2022

Odds & ends -- and thanks

  • I was on a roll this morning with Heardle.  :) I got EVERY SINGLE ONE, many within 2-3 seconds -- right up to Heardle 90s. (I don't do Heardle past the 90s version, aside from the original all-decades version.) Never heard of either the song or the artist. But I guess you can't always win them all...!  
  • Prior to our cottage weekend with dh's cousin & his family, I was rummaging in my drawers to find my ancient swimsuit, in case we were invited to use the hot tub (and we were! -- and did!). I found it in a drawer with the remnants of my pantihose collection, and I found myself wondering WHY -- some 25-ish years after my office adopted a more casual dress code (and women wearing pants was no longer deemed shocking/a subject of disapproval -- seriously -- this was the mid-late 1990s...!), 8 years after I lost my job and 6 years after moving (when I culled a LOT of stuff) -- I STILL had so many pairs of pantihose (and knee-highs)??  The last time I wore pantihose was to Younger Nephew's wedding, four years ago. And before that...?? (I didn't wear pantihose to Older Nephew's wedding in 2016 -- which was a mistake, when I saw the photos...! Live and learn..!)  
    • Among my pantihose collection: a pair of fishnet tights that I think I bought when I was in university, about 40 (gulp!) years ago (!!). 
    • I chucked all but two pairs of hose and two knee-highs (already used and laundered), and three pairs still in the original, unopened packaging. That's probably still too many -- but, progress...! 
    • How many pairs of pantihose (if any??) are still lurking in your dresser drawers?? 
  • The tale of the swimsuit:  back in the spring of 2001 (!! -- yes, 2001!), my then-immediate boss invited all of us over to her house after work one night for dinner and a dip in the hot tub. Since our team at that time was entirely women (most of us in our 40s or older -- the majority of us childless too!), there were no real qualms at the prospect. ;)  My problem: no swimsuit (at least, one that fit me).  I remember going to the Hudson's Bay department store near my office on my lunch hour and spending way too much on a one-piece Christina swimsuit -- black-blue bottom, bright royal blue top with a black design and sparkles on it -- that didn't look half-bad on me. I wore it in my boss's hot tub -- and it's languished in the drawer ever since then. (I used to LIVE at the swimming pool in the summertime when I was growing up;  sadly, not so much these days.)  
    • Last year when we visited the same cottage, the hot tub was out of commission -- but it's been repaired since then, and our hostess reminded us to bring our suits last weekend. I fished the suit out of the drawer, and what do you know -- after 20+ years (!), not only did it still FIT (!), the elastic was still good too.  :)   
    • I'm still in touch with my former boss and one of my co-workers (my office bestie) from that long-ago party, and I mentioned this to them in an email after our cottage weekend, because I knew they'd get a kick out of it. Lo and behold, my boss responded with a snapshot of us all in her hot tub, back in 2001. Mostly just our heads are visible, but you can glimpse a sliver of a blue strap on my shoulder, lending credence to my story. ;)  
  • I LOVED Kate Kaufmann's recent "Unapparent" column (lol -- I love that title) on the Psychology Today site about "What Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging Mean for Non-Parents."  She zeros in on the "belonging" label as a "gamechanger" for people without children, and suggests ways to give non-parents a stronger sense of belonging, include balancing family-centric events with ones that celebrate adult accomplishments. 
  • I've long been fascinated by the idealization of motherhood and the role of "momfluencer" culture, and the power they have to warp women's sense of self-worth. Most writing in this vein, of course, focuses on the pressure this puts on mothers to live up to the ideal -- and fails to take the next step and ponder how these unattainable ideals affect those of us who wanted to be mothers and never even got the chance to try to live up them.  Still, it's a topic worth pondering. 

...living in a world which prioritizes someone else’s should over your own truth is maddening, exhausting, and invalidating.

It’s difficult to assert (and sometimes, even to understand) our authentic maternal [note from me: substitute "non-maternal" if you're childless] identities in a culture which determinedly foists a one-size-fits-nobody straightjacket of motherhood onto all of us.

  • It's the (Canadian) Thanksgiving long weekend here, and among my many blessings, I am so thankful for this blog and all of you!  Thank you for enriching my life with your own blogs, your comments and your support!   

4 comments:

  1. Ha! Pantyhose! Last year I actually had to explain to my 8th graders what that was. Because they had no idea. In explaining it, I was like, "god this sounds awful, like a sort of torture! WHY did we do this?" The fishnets sound amazing, though. I am a big fan of fishnets and those ones with the line down the back, very 1940s. I am more likely to wear leggings under dresses/skirts in the winter than even tights now. Fascinating!

    Ha, swimsuits! I feel like it must have been freeing to be in a tub with kindred spirits. I am a huge believer in paddleboard shorts. Never going back. Tankini top and shorts are the way for me forever! :)

    You find the best articles! I will have to take time to read them. Fascinating stuff. I definitely think all the "influencer" crap has done a number on what we see as expectation or reality vs actual experience.

    Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for you too! :)

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  2. Going to 2 weddings this week. I ended up buying boots! I did pull some pantyhose out my drawer but couldn't even think to put them on twice!

    Happy Thanksgiving.

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  3. I'm laughing about pantyhose too! I still have some black pantyhose and tights tucked away in a plastic container, just in case I need them. I've worn tights occasionally, but not for some years, as these days I wear trousers for formal meetings/funerals/etc. I really need to cull them down to one or two emergency pairs. They've probably lost all their elasticity anyway. lol

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    1. PS. Thanks to you too for being here, and still writing.

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