Family update

Thank you (SO MUCH!) for your positive thoughts, vibes, prayers, etc., for my brother-in-law and older nephew for BIL's transplant on Monday. It was a VERY long day for all of us -- especially dh. He was up at 6:30 a.m. on Sunday and, despite my pleas, was not able to sleep at all during the day or evening. He left here around 1:15 a.m. on Monday morning, picked up Younger Nephew, who lives nearby, then drove about an hour north (on dark rural roads) to pick up Older Nephew & his wife, and then all the way to the hospital in downtown Toronto, where BIL had already been admitted a few days earlier. (ONW's mother/Little Great-Nephew's other grandma was staying with LGN;  SIL checked into a hotel near the hospital on Saturday afternoon, and has been there since then.)  

Older Nephew had been told to check in between 5 & 6 a.m.;  they made good time (no traffic at that hour!) and arrived around 4:30 a.m. Even so, Older Nephew was quickly admitted, and everyone else spent the rest of the day hanging around a waiting room. Dh texted me that ON was in the operating room around 8 and out around 2-2:30. He had to wait a while for a bed (!) and so it was about 10:30 p.m. before his wife could see him.  Understandably, BIL's surgery took much longer. He went into the OR around 10:30 a.m. He did not emerge until after 11 p.m. (!) 

Once they knew BIL had also come through the surgery successfully, dh, Younger Nephew and ONW decided to head home. (SIL stayed at the hospital, along with her brother, who was also there for support, until she'd seen BIL, around 12:30 a.m., before her brother took her back to her hotel.) Dh drove ONW home first, then dropped off Younger Nephew before heading home. I'd gone to bed around midnight, but woke up when he (finally!) came through the door around 2:15 a.m. (!).  He estimates he was out of the house for about 25 hours, awake for 44, and drove a total of 250+ kilometres ( = 150+ miles)!  

While all this was happening, I was at home, fielding phone calls, texts and WhatsApp messages from dh & BIL's extended family (there's a WhatsApp group for cousins on one side of the family, and I set up a text group for cousins on the other side), as well as my own friends & relatives who knew what was going on, and updating them all as I received updates from dh via text. I (foolishly) couldn't resist posting a photo of BIL & ON that fortuitously popped up into my Facebook Memories, along with a request for prayers -- which prompted an additional flurry of enquiries that I responded to privately. I was in the comfort of my own home, but I was BUSY, and I was EXHAUSTED by mid-afternoon -- I can only imagine what the others were experiencing! 

Dh slept until 10:30 a.m. Tuesday, and napped on & off throughout the day. He was (understandably) EXHAUSTED, so we took it easy that day (we're both still tired and have been in bed earlier than usual the past few nights!).  

Yesterday (Wednesday) we got up early and headed downtown, arriving around 10:30-11, and spent about four hours there, mostly with Older Nephew, although we did head up to see BIL in the ICU briefly.  We also had lunch with SIL in the food court.  Both guys are doing well, especially Older Nephew. While we were there, a nurse disconnected almost all of his tubes & IVs, brought in some solid food for his lunch, and when we returned from visiting BIL, we were delighted to see him walking down the hallway (with the help of a walker & a nurse nearby).  When he returned to his room, he sat in a chair for a while and he & his wife Facetimed with LGN and his grandma.  :)  

BIL was sitting up with his head back when we first saw him, enjoying some ice chips. (ONW visited him a little while later and said he was asking for ice cream, lol.)  He looked a bit tough, to be honest, but SIL told us he looked a lot better than he had the day before -- and when he lowered his head a little, he looked more like himself to me. He had a lot of tubes, etc., but the nurses told us some of those would be coming out soon, and that they were going to give him some apple juice. They also told us he really didn't need ICU care anymore and they would be moving him down to the same floor where ON was, just as soon as a bed came open (and SIL messaged dh later that evening that he had in fact been moved). (Yay!)(Having them both on the same floor will certainly simplify thing for her!) BIL was very emotional, and I could tell dh was struggling to hold it together, so we made it a short visit. 

Older Nephew's Wife asked if we could drive up and stay with LGN for the day on Friday (tomorrow), so that she could come back downtown. Of course we said yes. (We get to see the dog too! -- yay!! Haven't seen him in several months now.  ONW says her mom says he's been kind of depressed since ON's mysterious absence... he knows something is up!)  We plan to head back down to the hospital again on Saturday ourselves. 

Meantime, we're still fielding calls & texts from the cousins.  :)  

I will admit... I'm barely getting through my emails right now, let alone reading or commenting on too many blogs and/or forums and/or social media, or reading books.  :(  I normally manage to get through 3 or 4 books a month, give or take a couple -- it's now mid-July (how did that happen??), and I'm still only about 1/3 of the way through the book I started on July 1st. Oh well. Priorities!! 

#MicroblogMondays: The waiting is the hardest part...

(with apologies to the late, great Tom Petty for appropriating his lyrics, lol). 

(My last report from dh at the hospital, a few hours ago, indicated that both operations were progressing as planned.)

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Weekend odds & ends

• Dh & I survived three (!) full days with Little Great-Nephew, lol -- staying with him while his parents were at work and SIL/his grandma/regular caregiver was at the hospital with BIL/his grandpa. It was fun to spend so much time with him, but also exhausting. After all, as I said to more than few people, he is 3 & 1/2 and we... are NOT!  lol   (It was also WAY too hot & humid to allow him to play outside, unfortunately, but he didn't put up too much of a fuss when we told him he had to stay indoors.)  
• Side effect:  I found myself humming/singing the theme songs from "GoJetters," "Paw Patrol," and "Peppa Pig" in the shower, lol.  I think they are now permanently embedded in my brain...! 
• On Thursday, my brother-in-law was transferred from the suburban hospital where he'd been since last Saturday night to the downtown hospital where his transplant will take place tomorrow morning. 
• Friday morning, dh & I drove SIL down there to visit. Older Nephew (BIL's donor) was already there, having a final few tests before Monday. We all had a nice visit. Older Nephew left mid-afternoon at the same time we did, while SIL remained. (A couple of cousins were coming to visit later that evening, and she hitched a ride home with them.)  It was an emotional goodbye -- Older Nephew won't be seeing his dad again before the operation, and I won't be seeing either of them until afterwards, since I won't be accompanying dh, both nephews and Older Nephew's Wife downtown tomorrow (no room for me in the car!). 
• LGN will be staying at home with his other grandma (Older Nephew's MIL). Not sure how much he understands about what's going on. 
• Prayers, positive thoughts, good vibes, etc., appreciated.  :)  
• I've written before about/linked to articles from a Substack newsletter called "In Pursuit of Clean Countertops" by Sara Petersen. She writes there -- and in a new book called "Momfluenced" -- about "momfluencer" culture and the cult of ideal motherhood.  I've often said that if  you think momfluencers and the idealization of motherhood can be harmful to struggling mothers, consider  the impact they have on the large and growing numbers of us who don't have children (and particularly those of us who wanted children but didn't wind up with them, for whatever reasons). 
• So far, Petersen has never quite taken that extra step. BUT, I was pleasantly surprised to open her latest newsletter and find an interview with Ruby Warrington, the author of "Women Without Kids" -- which I recently read & reviewed here. Warrington is childfree by choice -- she does mention that some women are childless when they really wanted children -- but there's not a lot here from a CNBC-specific perspective. Nevertheless, I think it's worth a read (for both NotMoms AND mothers!). 
• Ruby Warrington also gave a thought-provoking interview to this week's edition of Maria Shriver's Sunday Paper. So happy to see these messages being highlighted in mainstream publications/sites!  
• How about this article from People magazine (of all things)??:  "PhD Grad Surprised with Celebratory Gift Registry: 'We Shouldn’t Only Reward Women for Marriage and Babies'." Yes!! 
• Relevant to some CNBC women: Jill Filipovic on "Rise of the Singles." (Subhead: "Fewer 40-year-olds are married than ever. Here's the good and the bad.")  Surprisingly, "the bad" does not include the obvious (to me) connection that many women who would like to be mothers might never have children because they were unable to find a suitable/willing partner before their fertility ran out. Even so, it's still worth a read -- if you can somehow subvert the paywall (sorry! -- no gift links available). Relevant sample passage:  

If the story was that fewer 40-year-olds are married than ever before, but more of those 40-year-olds are happy, thriving, and fostering new [kinds] of connections and communities outside of old nuclear marriage structures, that would be great news. But that’s not what we’re seeing. Instead, we’re seeing significant upticks in loneliness and friendlessness. We’re seeing greater isolation. We’re not seeing marriage decline and new relationships fill its place. Instead, we’re seeing a vacuum.

Her conclusion?:  

More married 40-year-olds shouldn’t be the goal. Happier and more stable 40-year-olds should be.

• Carolyn Hax, the advice columnist in the Washington Post, generally gives pretty good advice, and often answers questions related to adoption/loss/infertility/childless/free matters. A couple of relevant recent columns:  
• "Holiday recipe? Kids get beds, single aunt gets couch." (From what I've heard in the childless community from childless singles, this does indeed happen!) 
• "No sympathy card for stepmom after stepdaughter’s death." 

Midweek odds & ends

• Update to Monday's post:  My brother-in-law is thankfully much better, and next Monday's operation is still a go.  However, he is still in the hospital:  the doctors there have decided to keep him there for monitoring until his surgery next Monday (which is probably a good thing).  
• His wife/our sister-in-law has been at the hospital every day -- and Older Nephew & his wife are still both working until the surgery next week. Which means dh & I have been tapped to stay with Little Great-Nephew several days this week. We were there 8 hours yesterday, almost 8 hours today and will be there again tomorrow. (We go to BIL & SIL's house, since he's comfortable there and all his stuff -- potty, toys, wading pool, etc. -- is all there too, plus it's convenient for his parents too.)  Needless to say, we are BEAT.  He's a great kid, but he is 3 & 1/2 years old and we.... are NOT, lol.  
• Did I mention tomorrow also happens to be dh's & my 38th wedding anniversary??  I don't think anyone else has remembered -- and I'm not going to remind them. I usually switch over my Facebook profile & cover photos to wedding-related pictures, but I've decided not to do that this year. I don't want anyone feeling guilty for forgetting;  they've got other things on their mind. Plus, I think I'm too tired to start tinkering around with my FB right now, lol.  Needless to say, we have no plans, but we'll probably order some takeout for dinner and pick it up on our way home.  
• I can't resist sharing a funny Little Great-Nephew story. (I have lots, of course, but this is a recent one that sticks out.)  Older Nephew (his dad) recently shaved off his beard, and LGN asked him what happened to his face. ON explained he'd shaved off his beard. LGN:  "I don't like it. Shave it back on!"  (lol) 
• The New York Times recently published a "25 years later" critique of "Bridget Jones's Diary" by Helen Fielding. (Has it really been 25 years??) (The link to the story, above, is a gift link.) 
• Yes, "Bridget" may be outdated, full of sexism, fat-phobia, etc. etc. I don't care. (And I'm glad to see women standing up for her/the book in the comments!)  As I know I've shared on this blog before, I read "Bridget" as I was recovering from Katie's stillbirth.  It was a time in my life when I thought I would never smile, much less laugh again, and having difficulty focusing on the printed page -- and yet there I was, desperately trying to stifle my giggles over "Bridget" on public transit. THANK YOU, Helen Fielding, for bringing some fun & humour into my life at a time I desperately needed it. I will always think of Bridget fondly for that reason.  :)  
• (I tried to leave a comment to this effect on the story, but alas, between the time I read the article and a few of the comments then and went to write mine, the comments section had closed.)  
• Andy Harrod is one of those rare men who is writing and speaking about the experience of involuntary childlessness. I recently learned he has a Substack newsletter. Check it out! -- "(In)visible Childlessness." (I've added it to my blogroll on the right-hand side of this page.) 
• I thought this article from the Washington Post (gift link) was a fairly realistic/well-balanced look at the facts (pros & cons) of egg freezing.  
• I was both amused and horrified to see how many people in the comments said they thought this was an article about freezing egg-eggs, as in breakfast. Duh. (And then we wonder why no one understands us as infertile people??) (Although I wonder whether people are really THAT clueless/blissfully ignorant, or just trying to be smart-a**es?)  
• Some exciting news from the New York Times (gift linked):  the U.S. Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has approved a blood test that can identify pregnant women who are at risk of developing pre-ecclampsia, with 96% accuracy. 
• Ten years ago (!), I wrote about my own mother's brush with ecclampsia when she gave birth to me, 62 years ago, after it was in the news when Lady Sybil Crawley, a character on "Downton Abbey," died from it. 
• Talia Lavin is having a lengthy, fascinating conversation with Moira Donegan about modern feminism in her Substack newsletter, The Sword and the the Sandwich. (And yes, she writes about sandwiches there! -- among other things.) I think Part 2 was published yesterday? Sample passage (with a fist pump from me near the end, lol): 

You know, I think it was an understandable mistake for feminists of the nineties and aughts to sort of try and disavow the second wave. Because that is a generation of thinkers who disagreed with each other on a lot, but who are coming from a tradition that took the question of women and their liberation very seriously. I’ve taken a lot from my readings of the second wave. It is really useful to read Kate Millett, and it was useful to read Catherine McKinnon and Andrea Dworkin — not that I think you have to take it like the Bible. 

Another problem of feminism that really stuck with me when I went back and read the big feminist texts of the late sixties and the early seventies: these are fights that we are now having in 2016, 2017, 2020. And because of this idea that we have to kill mom every twenty years, and disavow the mistakes of the past by completely abandoning the work of those generations of thinkers, we get stuck in a repetitive cycle of reinventing the wheel. Don’t discard everything from people who were wrong or misguided or stupid about some stuff, and don’t disregard everything that comes from a generation that lived under different circumstances than yours. 

• Hopefully this article from The Atlantic -- "The Gravitational Pull of Supervising Kids All the Time" -- is not paywalled. As a kid who used to walk six blocks to kindergarten, across a highway/main road, often by myself (albeit this WAS rural Saskatchewan in the mid-1960s...! -- I'm not talking six lanes of heavy traffic or anything like that...!), I find the whole "helicopter parenting" phenomenon highly bemusing. I have said this before, and I will say it again:  I am sometimes grateful/relieved that I didn't get to have children (much as I wanted them), because if this is what it takes to be a "good" parent these days, I don't think I would have been able to cut it...!  

#MicroblogMondays: A family update

(Not quite a "micro" post, but it's what I've got and what's on my mind right now, so...!):  

For several months now, I've been hinting here about my BIL's declining health, and in April, I wrote a little more about what's been going on and how it's been affecting me & dh. I wrote then: 

...he's not going to get better unless and until he has a major surgical procedure, which may or may not work (and we don't like to think about "may not"). There is a waiting list involved -- so we don't know when or how this is all going to unfold. (That's about as specific as I think I can get here.)

While I try not to be too specific when I write about other people here (not my story -- although this is, partly, because dh & I have been affected a lot too), it's becoming harder to write honestly about what's been going on without adding at least a few more details:    

The "major surgical procedure" I mentioned? It's an organ transplant -- one of the few that can be done using organs, or parts of organs, from a living donor. It is BIL's only real shot at regaining some quality of life. (And, while they're at it, they're also going to repair the hernia that has been bothering him for quite a while now.)   

After assessing a few of the potential donors from within the extended family, who very generously volunteered to be tested for suitability (just one potential donor gets evaluated at a time, to conserve scarce medical resources), the transplant team decided that Older Nephew (Little Great-Nephew's dad) would be an excellent match for his dad. 

The operation is scheduled a week from today, at a downtown Toronto hospital.   

A transplant, I don't think I have to emphasize, is not your garden-variety surgery. It carries risks for both donor and recipient -- although the team doing it is reportedly the best in Canada and has a very high success rate. Older Nephew is, happily, in great physical shape, and the doctors have assured him the risks he'll be incurring -- although there always are some, of course -- are pretty minimal.  They have also assured BIL that the chances his body will reject the donated organ are very small.  

Nevertheless -- it's anxiety-inducing. And of course, this will involve not just one but TWO members of our family. (And if *I'm* stressed about it, you can imagine my poor SIL... and of course dh, who carries a lot of anxiety at the best of times...)  

As I write this, BIL is currently in another hospital (closer to home) -- he wasn't feeling well on Saturday night so SIL took him to emergency. They admitted him and he's been there ever since then. He had an infection and a slight fever -- which thankfully has broken -- and they are currently pumping him with antibiotics. This is the fourth or fifth time this has happened over the past 2+ years. We're hoping this is not going to derail the scheduled operation, and we're hoping they will just keep him there and keep an eye on him until next week. He has several medical appointments at the hospital downtown this week, so we'll know more after those. 

Needless to say, your thoughts/prayers/positive thoughts/good vibes/etc. for our family in the coming days and weeks will be much appreciated.  Also, any advice you might have to offer on how dh & I can best support them all through this stressful time. We're staying with Little Great-Nephew several times this week while both grandparents & parents are at appointments, and dh is going to drive some family members down to the hospital early on the morning of the operation (and presumably some of them home again later that night). (There likely won't be room for me in the car, so I will probably wind up staying at home for the day, with dh & SIL sending me updates.)  

We've already thought of a few other things we can do to help. I've already bought a couple of gift cards for Tim Hortons & Starbucks for SIL & Older Nephew's Wife to use for coffees & snacks/treats while they're hanging out at the hospital (there are outlets of both in the lobby) and/or later, and we're going to buy supermarket gift cards to help Older Nephew & his wife pay for groceries while he's off work. We're also planning to offer to drive up there now & then to distract Little Great-Nephew (as well as keep an eye on Older Nephew) while the wife gets in a little "me time" for shopping, a manicure, whatever she feels like she needs. One of the cousins has volunteered to message all the other cousins, on both sides of the family, to coordinate other support for meals, appointments, etc.  

Other ideas? 

(There goes any chance of spending time with my family out west this summer -- although late August/early September might still be possible, depending on how recovery goes. My parents are very disappointed that I won't be coming -- AGAIN.  :(  I guess there's always Thanksgiving in October again??) 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Reading challenge mid-year checkup

Last year at this time (and the year before that too), I did a mid-year check-in on the status of my Goodreads Reading Challenge and other reading goals -- and since the year is once again halfway over (ummm.... WTF?!)  I thought it was timely to do it again.  :)  

In my 2022 Reading Year in Review post last December, I wrote: 

• ...I reached my Goodreads Reading Challenge Goal of 45 books by mid-November, and ended the year with 50 books read -- but I didn't equal my 2021/best-recorded total of 59 books (when my goal was 36).  For 2023, I've decided to maintain my goal of 45 books ( = 3.75 books per month on average), which seems realistic for me right now. 
• I've read more than 45 books in three of the past four years (2019, 2021 and 2022, and almost 45 -- 43 -- in 2020 -- so that seems very do-able.  But I'm hoping I'll be able to improve on my 2022 total, too!  
• While I'm grateful for my book groups and the boost they give to my reading totals, and while I intend to keep up with them in 2023, I'm hoping to be able to read more of my own choices this coming year too.  :)   

Here we are at the midpoint of 2023 -- which would suggest I should have read 22-24 books by now to keep up the pace of 3-4 books per month towards 45 by the end of the year. I crossed the 24-book threshold (50%) in mid-June, when I finished Louise Penny's "A Rule Against Murder" (reviewed here). I am currently at 25 books finished = 56% of my 2023 goal (3 ahead of schedule to meet my goal). I read 6 books in January, 4 in February, 3 in March, 4 in April, 5 in May and 3 in June.

At this time last year (end of June), I had reached 29 books (64% of my goal). (I'd read 5 books in January 2022, 6 in February, 5 in March, 6 in April, 3 in May and 4 in June.) So I'm 4 books behind versus where I was last year, in terms of number of books read (and 9 books behind 2021, when I had completed 34 books by the end of June) -- but I'm still on pace to reach or exceed my goal of 45 books before the end of the year.  

Whether I'll be able to improve on 2022's total by year end remains to be seen...! Last year, I had eye surgery in late July, which slowed my reading pace down a bit, for a while. I don't have anything like that planned this year ("PLANNED" being the operative word...!);  however, my BIL is undergoing some major surgery shortly -- so hospital visits and doing things to support the family may (will likely? already has??) limit my reading time. 

I'm still doing a lot of book club reads & re-reads -- and I recently took on the role of co-hosting the monthly book club on the Lighthouse Women (formerly Gateway Women) online community. I would have been reading the books there anyway -- but now I'm actively hunting out & reading/screening books that might be a good fit for the group too.  And I've also taken on *another* unofficial goal of reading one Louise Penny Three Pines/Inspector Gamache novel a month (loosely following the Notes From Three Pines Substack newsletter Readalong).  

So while I HAVE managed to fit in some books of my own choosing, they've continued to take a back seat -- perhaps a little more than I'd like. But I missed the book club when the hosts stepped down and it subsequently went on hiatus, and sometimes if you want something done, you have to be willing to do it yourself...!  (And reading the Penny books was certainly my choice;  they've been on my TBR list for quite a while now...)  

AND (as I wrote on my latest "Right now" post)... not that I need yet ANOTHER book club/readalong to follow... but I recently learned about one on Substack for "Middlemarch" by George Eliot. This is a book that I read (and enjoyed) in university (it was my favourite English prof's all-time favourite book) -- but that was.... ummm... a LONG time ago, lol.  I've often though of giving it a re-read. As I said, I need another reading obligation like a hole in the head, but this does seem like a perfect opportunity... they're covering chapters 6 & 7 tomorrow (July 2nd) -- so it would be (relatively) easy to catch up at this point. (Well, easier than if, say, they were already on chapter 42, right?)  Hmmm....  

I also recently ventured into the world of ARCs (advance reader copies) on NetGalley by reading and reviewing Ashley Audrain's new book, "The Whispers" (reviewed here). It was a good read and an interesting experience -- but I didn't realize that most of these books come with an "archive date."  I have enough book-related deadlines/obligations in my reading life at the moment as it is -- reading should be fun, not work! -- so I probably won't be requesting more ARCs regularly, unless something pops up that I find really interesting and want to read immediately.  

Needless to say, there's still lots on my "priority TBR list" (which has expanded considerably since it began...!) that I haven't read yet! (But it's still fun trying, right?)  

Did you set any reading goals for 2023?  How are you doing with them? 

Right now

Right now...* 

*(an occasional (mostly monthly) meme, alternating from time to time with "The Current"). (Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first "The Current" post, here.)

Pandemic diary/update: June marked 39 months (3 years plus) that we've been living under the shadow of COVID-19.  (At least, *I'm* still feeling its shadow, even if everyone else seems to have moved on...!) 

This past month, Canadian policy leaders met in Ottawa to discuss lessons learned from COVID-19.  Paul Wells, a well-known Canadian political commentator, wrote about some of the things discussed there on his Substack newsletter. I don't agree with all of his analysis, but it was an interesting read overall, and I'm glad these discussions are being held (because too often, they're not).   

On the personal pandemic front: We remain covid-free (knocking wood, loudly...) -- and we while we have ventured out more often lately and even loosened up -- just a smidgeon!  ;)  -- we're still a lot more careful than most people we know.  We still mask in stores and other indoor public places, albeit we usually don't in smaller/family settings.  

Dh has been chafing a bit at wearing masks lately, tired of being "the only one" -- albeit I can usually spot at least one or two other people in the supermarket who are wearing them when I go with him. I'll concede that masks probably aren't necessary if we're in a big store/space with not too many other people and we won't be hanging around too long -- and we've mostly stopped wearing them in the common spaces of our condo building (hallways, elevators, parking garage -- we rarely encounter other people there anyway) -- but if it's s smaller space and lots of people around us, then yes, I'm still wearing a mask!   

On top of dh's solo trips to the supermarket for groceries (about once a week), for occasional takeout lunches & dinners, and to see/help out his brother, together we: 

• Saw Little Great-Nephew 6 times: 
• Stayed with him while BIL & SIL attended medical appointments on June 6th & 14th (a 7-hour day!). 
• Dropped by on June 21st, 26th & 28th for a while. 
• Also saw him on June 22nd when dh's aunt & uncle, with their visiting (from Australia!) daughter & 1-year-old grandson, stopped by BIL's while in the area to shop. (LGN was NOT happy having to share the spotlight -- or us! -- with the visiting cutie! lol) 
• Went grocery shopping at the supermarket together twice and picked up takeout lunch there on the way home from BIL's one other day.   
• Other shopping trips to Chapters (bookstore, twice), Reitmans (women's wear), Carters/Oshkosh (children's clothing), Shoppers Drug Mart and M&M Foods (frozen/convenience foods). 
• Treated ourselves to our first gelatos of the season on June 20th (finally!) and ate them in the car. (They do have patio tables outside where you can sit, but it was both very windy and very sunny out there that day.)
• I went (solo) to our condo's annual meeting on June 7th. (Dh went by himself the past two years -- he hates meetings, lol, so I figured it was my turn...!)  (There were about 35-40 people in the room (out of 122 units in the building), which made it slightly crowded. Guess who was the only one wearing a mask??)
• We went to a members' preview of a major new Tom Thomson exhibit that was opening at the McMichael Gallery, where I have a membership. I don't know a lot about art, but I appreciate it  :)  and I love Thomson and the Group of Seven, whose work is considered iconic in Canada. (As mask-wearers, we were definitely in a minority, but we weren't the only ones!)  
• We ventured to the mall (where we were again in a minority of mask-wearers) on June 26th to get dh a new cellphone and do a little shopping.  We even had lunch in the food court (gasp!). (It was a little more crowded than I was really comfortable with, but dh had been hankering after some of the Thai food they serve there, so...)  This was our first time there since we went to watch Little Great-Nephew get his photo taken with Santa in early December. I can still probably count the number of times we've been there over the past 3 years (since the pandemic began) on the fingers of one hand. We're thinking we might try to start going back again a little more regularly -- it's nice to get out & walk around (albeit my knees aren't always happy about it...!).  
• We also went for haircuts yesterday (Friday, June 30th). Our stylist wasn't wearing a mask! for the first time in 3 years!!  (Her young daughter has severe asthma, and she has been VERY careful.)  But then, nobody else was there besides her & us. 

Nobody seems to be wearing their N-95 masks indoors anymore -- but they may want to wear them (should be wearing them??) outside, because of the wildfire smoke. The closest fires to us are several hundred kilometres/miles away, in northern Ontario and Quebec -- but apparently that's close enough (as communities even further south in the U.S. have discovered too...!). There have been several times this past month (including the past few days) when Toronto has held the dubious distinction of having the worst air quality in the world. :(  

25 years ago in June (1998), there were "dark clouds on the horizon" of my pregnancy, as the blog post I wrote about that time 10 years later is titled. My plans to fly west in mid-July to visit my parents & grandparents were interrupted when, mid-month, the results of my triple screen bloodwork -- followed by an ultrasound -- signalled possible abnormalities. I was sent to see a geneticist and had amniocentisis (which I had originally opted not to have) on June 26th -- and then began an inhumanely long wait for the results. Meanwhile, I was advised to cancel my vacation plans and stay close to home, "in case of adverse results." (!) 

• June 1998: Dark clouds on the horizon (long post) 

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 3 books in June (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads, & tagged "2023 books").  

• "Mothering Sunday" by Graham Swift, the June pick for my Lighthouse Women Nomo Book Club. (My review.)  This was a re-read for me (my previous review here). We had a fun Zoom discussion on June 25th. 
• "A Rule Against Murder" by Louise Penny (book #4 in the Three Pines/Inspector Gamache mystery series, titled "The Murder Stone" in some markets. (My review.) 
• "The Bullet That Missed (The Thursday Murder Club #3)" by Richard Osman, for my Gateway/Lighthouse Women NoMo Book Club (for July). This was a re-read for me (my previous review;  my re-read review).  Zoom discussion date TBA (generally late in the month). 

This brings me to 25 books read to date in 2023,  56% of my 2023 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. :)  I am currently (for the moment, anyway...!) 3 books ahead of schedule to meet my goal. 

Current read(s): 

• "The Blue Castle" by L.M. Montgomery. My LMM Readathon Facebook group read this book together back in fall 2020, and our group admin -- who is taking a well-deserved summer break -- is re-running posts related to this book over the summer.  It's one of my favourites, not just of LMM's novels, but of any book I've read ever. (Reviews here, here and, from an earlier book-related post, here.) I will be following along, chapter by chapter, and count this as a re-read when we we're finished (in November).  
• "Sarah's Cottage" by D.E. Stevenson, with my DES group.  I will count this book as a re-read after we finish in early August. (My original review here.) 
• "Living the Life Unexpected" by Jody Day.  Re-reading (for the 5th time, I think!) and discussing one chapter per month (for the second time) with a group of other childless women within the private online Gateway/Lighthouse Women community. If & when I/we complete the full 12 chapters (likely early in 2024), I'll count it as a(nother) re-read. We recently covered Chapter 5;  Chapter 6 coming up in mid-July! (My most recent review -- with links to previous reviews -- here.) 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Gateway/Lighthouse Women NoMo Book Club (for August): "The Fair Botanists" by Sara Sheridan.  
• For the Notes from Three Pines (Louise Penny mysteries) Readalong: After a bit of a hiatus, discussion resumed on book #3, "The Cruellest Month" (which I read in April and reviewed here), on June 7th.  It wasn't mentioned, but I'm assuming book #4 (see above) will be next (in July?). Meanwhile, book #5,  "The Brutal Telling," is on the horizon as one of my next reads...! 
• For my D.E. Stevenson group:  This list of upcoming books should keep us busy through 2024, and maybe even into 2025!  (A couple of the books are ones we covered when I first joined the group back in 2014 -- you know you've been around for a while when....!)  
• The House on the Cliff (after we finish "Sarah's Cottage" in August -- see above)
• Bel Lamington 
• Fletcher’s End
• Miss Buncle’s Book
• Peter West 
• Miss Buncle Married
• The Two Mrs Abbotts
• Crooked Adam 
• The Four Graces

AND... not that I need yet ANOTHER book club/readalong to follow... but I recently learned about one on Substack for "Middlemarch" by George Eliot. This is a book that I read (and enjoyed) in university (it was my favourite English prof's all-time favourite book) -- but that was.... ummm... a LONG time ago, lol.  I've often though of giving it a re-read. As I said, I need another reading obligation like a hole in the head, but this does seem like a perfect opportunity... they're covering chapters 6 & 7 tomorrow (July 2nd) -- so it would be relatively easy to catch up at this point. Hmmm....  

A few recently purchased titles (mostly in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): 

• "Romantic Comedy" by Curtis Sittenfeld (discounted paperback) 
• "Yellowface" by R.F. Kuang (discounted paperback) 
• "The Secret Life of Bees" by Sue Monk Kidd. 
• "Exiles" by Jane Harper. 
• "The Villa" by Rachel Hawkins. 
• "The Book of Delights" by Ross Gay. 
• "Meet Me By the Fountain" by Alexandra Lange 
• "The Secret Book of Flora Lea" by Patti Callahan Henry 
• "Hang the Moon" by Jeannette Walls
• "The Hole We're In" by Gabrielle Zevin 

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Watching: I finished watching all six episodes of "Funny Woman," based on the Nick Hornby novel "Funny Girl" (my review of the book, here). It deviates from the book, particularly in the later episodes, and most notably by injecting a modern/feminist sensibility into the story that was not present in the book, and not especially evident (or at least AS evident as portrayed here) at the time. 

For example:  

• There's a scene, in episode 5, in which scriptwriters Bill & Tony take a wide-eyed Sophie to a gay bar, where they all ingest some illicit substances... they were definitely gay in the book, but this scene was entirely made up. 
• Sophie's roommate, Marjorie has an expanded role in the TV show (and overall, I did like her): she becomes a budding feminist (definitely not in the book) and member of a consciousness-raising group (which I think was more of a 1970s thing?).  
• And in a bit of colour-blind casting, the roles of producer Dennis and journalist Diane are played by South Asian and Black actors. I really liked both actors, particularly the one who played Dennis -- and true, race was not specified in the book -- but the casting choices were not particularly true to the reality of the time.  

I gave the book 3 stars and I'd probably give the TV series the same. Amusing, but not (as the title would have you believe) hugely funny. I did love the Swinging London/mid-1960s fashions, decor and music, though, which were period-perfect!

I also watched the 1975 documentary "Grey Gardens" on TCM -- about Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis's eccentric (to put it mildly...) aunt & cousin ("Big Edie" and "Little Edie" Bouvier Beale), who lived in a decrepit mansion in the Hamptons, along with umpteen cats -- and raccoons. It's considered a cult classic. (I had some very weird dreams the night after I watched it...!) 

On PBS's "American Experience" series, we recently watched a documentary called "Casa Susanna," about a retreat in the Catskills outside of New York City that provided community and refuge for transgender women and cross-dressing men in the 1950s and 1960s, as recalled by some of the people who went there and their family members. We had no expectations going in, but both dh & I found it quite moving.   

Listening:  Last month, I wrote about the passing of Gordon Lightfoot, a Canadian cultural icon and national treasure: 

...as I read the obituaries and appreciations and comments, and as people named their favourite Lightfoot songs, I found myself thinking, "Oh yeah, that one.. Oh yeah, THAT one!" and "I forgot about that one!!"  

At risk of having my citizenship revoked ;)  I will confess that I had no Lightfoot albums/CDs in my collection. I decided to remedy that by ordering a copy of "Gord's Gold," a collection of (some of) his greatest hits. Some of the titles were unfamiliar to me -- but as soon as I heard the music: "Okay, I know this one... okay, I know this one too..."  :)  As it turned out, I could sing along with or was at least passingly familiar with just about every song on the album -- all of them wonderful. :)  

Heardle Decades:  My stats for the 70s & 90s versions mysteriously vanished during the month, meaning I had to start all over again. :p  Oh well, maybe this time around I'll actually improve my stats?? (I can only hope...! -- although my 70s scores weren't bad...). Stats as of June 30th: 

• Heardle 60s:  77.3% (218/282, 101 on first guess), down from last month. Max. streak: 14. 
• Heardle 70s:  78.3% (18/23, 10 on the first guess), WAY up from last month (before my stats got deleted...!). Max. streak: 5. 
• Heardle 80s:  34.3% (46/134,  24 on the first guess), up from last month. Max. streak: 4. 
• Heardle 90s: 54.2% (31/24, 7 on the first guess), WAY up from last month (before my stats were deleted...!). Max. streak: 4. 

Eating/Drinking:  Takeout dinners on Saturday nights this month included teriyaki rice bowls (twice) and Italian sandwiches from a local chain (twice -- veal cutlet with tomato sauce for dh, chicken without sauce for me).   

Buying (besides books, lol):  

• Some cute outfits for both Little Great-Nephew & Little Great-Niece at both the Carters/Oshkosh store and at Old Navy. 
• At Reitmans (a Canadian women's wear chain), I bought two pairs of lightweight cotton cropped cargo pants (one in dark olive green and the other a cream/off-white) and two tank tops, all on sale (four items for about $65 Canadian -- not bad these days...!). 
• At the mall (see above), I bought myself T-shirts at both Old Navy and Lucky Brand, some sundries at the drugstore, and matching classic Beaver Canoe T-shirts at the Roots store (iconic Canadian label) for dh's cousin's two kids (a girl, almost 3, and a boy who just turned 1), who are visiting from Australia. A bit of Canadiana to take home with them!    

Wearing: Enjoying my capris & sandals.  :)  

Trying:  To go with the flow and not worry too much about things that are beyond my control.  (Easier said than done, of course...!). 

Noticing:  That everything seems so much more expensive lately than it used to be, not all that long ago -- groceries, personal care items, books (ouch!)... 

Also noticed, when we were at the mall, that many stores still aren't as fully stocked as they were, pre-pandemic. Maybe that's a good thing, though -- sometimes they seemed almost overwhelmingly crammed with stuff in the past!  

Enjoying: My nice, CLEAN balcony door/windows!!  Dh helped me do them on June 19th. Our schedule was clear that day, the weather and air quality were finally good enough and I thankfully found my motivation!  lol  For me, it's a great mood booster! 

Appreciating: Being able to open the balcony door and let some fresh air in (between periods of poor air quality from wildfire smoke further north :(  ).  

Wanting: To get a pedicure. It's been more than three years (pre-pandemic) -- actually, almost 4!  The last time I had one was in September 2019, for Older Nephew's Wife's baby shower (!). Manicures I can take or leave -- but I do enjoy a nice pedicure once a month or so in the summertime, when my toes are on display!  (Even before the pandemic, the nail techs at the salon where I go wore masks to protect themselves from the fumes.)  Not sure when I'm going to be able to schedule one, though...?  

Wondering: Whether I'll be able to make it "home" to visit my parents & sister later in the summer, or whether I'll have to wait until fall?  (It will depend on how things go with BIL...) 

Worrying:  (Still) About BIL's health issues (including impending major surgery -- very soon), and the impact it's having on the rest of the family, including dh, SIL & the nephews, and even Little Great-Nephew.  :(   

Hoping:  For a good outcome all round. 

Waiting:  (See "Worrying," above...!) 

Prioritizing: The essential stuff, and letting the "nice to do's" slide.  

Loving:  Getting back to the art gallery with dh.  (The last time we were there was on my birthday in January. I think the time before that was pre-pandemic.)  I am so glad I got the membership there. I so enjoy going there, and I'm glad to support such a worthwhile national and local cultural treasure.    

Feeling: Like the summer is already going by too fast, when it's really only just begun...!  (Like, what happened to June??)  Slightly frazzled, trying (and often failing) to get everything on my to-do list done.