This was Book #43 read to date in 2023 (and Book #3 finished in November), bringing me to 96% of my 2023 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 3 books ahead of schedule. :) You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2023 tagged as "2023 books."
Thursday, November 23, 2023
"Ella Minnow Pea" by Mark Dunn
Monday, November 20, 2023
#MicroblogMondays: Be careful out there
I was just getting ready for bed on Saturday night, when an email popped up on my cellphone from my sister, with this attention-grabbing headline: "Guess who has COVID??"
Yep, after dodging the pandemic bullet for 3 & 1/2 years (!), my sister has finally fallen victim to the nefarious bug. :( I spoke to her on Sunday afternoon. She said she started feeling crappy on Thursday, tested negative, felt even worse by Friday afternoon -- and tested positive. Immediately cancelled plans to head to my parents' house on the weekend. She was isolating from her partner on separate floors/rooms of their house (which is not, admittedly, especially large -- but does, thankfully, have three bathrooms!), but now he's got a sore throat too. He was still testing negative at that point, but I guess we'll see...!
I asked her if she knew, or could guess, where she picked it up. She said nobody at her office has been sick lately (and she works from home two days a week), but she admitted she's been a little lax on masking at the supermarket, etc., these past few months. She hadn't received the latest/fall vaccine yet -- availability where she lives is still scarce/limited/not well publicized.
I told her well, she'd had a pretty good run, and at least it happened NOW and not four weeks from now, i.e., when we'll all be at Mom & Dad's for Christmas. Thankfully, she seems to have a mild case so far -- she said so far, it's like a bad head cold. Stuffy nose, cough, sore throat, fatigue. She'll have a few hours where she has some energy to do things, and then she crashes. (She talked with her doctor about Paxlovid, but decided not to fill the prescription, given that she has few risk factors and often doesn't do well with new medications.)
Still, it sucks. :( It's a good reminder that yes, covid is still out there, people are still getting sick from it -- very sick, in some cases -- and it's easy to let our guard down (especially when governments and businesses seem to be doing everything in their power NOT to remind us it still exists...!). (And this reminder is to myself, as much as to any of you reading this...!)
My American friends & relatives will be gathering with their families later this week for U.S. Thanksgiving -- and Christmas is not that far off, either (eeek!).
Be careful out there.
You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.
Friday, November 17, 2023
Odds & ends for the weekend
- It's Little Great-Nephew's 4th (!!) birthday today! We'll be heading up to Older Nephew's house tomorrow for a family celebration. We sure miss seeing him as often as we have (especially during this past year), since he started school this fall, but we're so grateful for the time we've been able to spend with him, and to have him in our lives!
- Here's the post where I announced his arrival, four years ago (November 2019). :)
- In the WTF?/Annoying things category: On Nov. 2nd, I ordered 6 (paperback) books, as well as some boxed Christmas cards, during a sale from our national mega-bookstore chain -- 30% off with my membership card.
- The cards were delivered on Nov. 6th.
- Two books were delivered in one package on Nov. 6th.
- Another book arrived on Nov. 15th.
- Two more shipments -- one with one book, the other with two books -- arrived at the same time yesterday, on Nov. 16th.
- That's 5 separate shipments/deliveries (!) over 10 days! (I was perfectly willing to wait the full 10 days to get everything all at once.) I get that they may have come from different warehouses -- and the shipping was free, to me anyway -- but seriously? It seems so wildly inefficient...! -- all that packaging (cardboard = recyclable, at least), all that additional labour to get them to me...
- The New York Times had an article this week celebrating the 100th anniversary of the publication of "Emily of New Moon" by L.M. Montgomery. (Gift link.) I was kind of gobsmacked by how many people in the comments -- many of them ardent fans of "Anne of Green Gables" -- had never heard of Emily (let alone the many other wonderful books & heroines Montgomery created). All of Montgomery's books were touchstones of my growing-up years, and (as you all probably know already!) the older I get (and the more of her work I re-read), the more I realize just what a huge impact she had on my life and on the person I am today. (My reviews of "Emily of New Moon," here and here... I've also read & reviewed the two sequels on this blog over the past three years.)
- I loved this! -- go read it! "A very short essay against 'as a mother': On being able to care without kids" by Amy Key of "So Glad I'm Me." (This link was recommended by Sara Petersen at "In Pursuit of Clean Countertops" -- she got it from Jessica Stanley at "READ.LOOK.THINK.")
- I'm not the only one who has a problem with Novembers: Katie Hawkins-Gaar at "My Sweet Dumb Brain" ponders her own history of grief during this month in "As the layers of life accumulate." (Very appropriately, I read it on Nov. 14th -- the 25th "anniversary" of Katie's due date.)
- (That said, Nov. 14th this year was... okay. The sun was shining, which helped enormously, I think!)
- Content warning: a parent's death, and postpartum psychosis (living baby) mentioned.
- Sample passage:
Some days, some weeks, some months, are heavier than others. These are the times when bad things have happened, when our lives are forever changed. Our minds may not always note the date, but our bodies typically do.On these days, we feel out of sorts — we feel sad, anxious, or irritable, and we’re not entirely sure why. Our bodies nudge us along. Then we remember.
- Also this: "Maybe she manifested it" from "The Antidote" by Helen Davenport-Peace. (When did "baby manifestation coaches" become a thing?? UGH!) Sample passage (bolding & italics are the author's):
To be clear; if you’re reading this and Not Pregnant Yet…it isn’t because you haven’t manifested it. It’s not because you have a baby blocking belief buried deep into your subconscious. It isn’t not happening because you don’t believe enough, that you aren’t manifesting properly, hard enough or with the right coach by your side to clarify and cleanse your vision. There isn’t a missing piece in the wiring between what your mind and body desire that someone else can solve in three monthly installments of three thousand pounds.
Wednesday, November 15, 2023
"Ex-Wife" by Ursula Parrott
Lyz Lenz -- whose next book, "This American Ex-Wife," will be published in February -- recently chose "Ex-Wife" as the November selection for her Men Yell at Me Substack newsletter's book club. (The first book we discussed, earlier this fall, was "The Farm" by Joanne Ramos -- my review here.)
This was Book #42 read to date in 2023 (and Book #2 finished in November), bringing me to 93% of my 2023 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 3 books ahead of schedule. :) You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2023 tagged as "2023 books."
Related reading:
- "She Wrote Frankly About Divorce, and Suffered the Consequences" (New York Times, April 30, 2023)
- "The Divorce Novel That Captured the Mores of Jazz Age New York" (The New Yorker, May 3, 2023)
- "Why have you read ‘The Great Gatsby’ but not Ursula Parrott’s ‘Ex-Wife’?" (The Conversation, August 23, 2023)
- " “Ex-wife,” the novel, by Ursula Parrott!" (Medium, Oct. 9, 2022)
Tuesday, November 14, 2023
Yet another service saga...!
About a year ago, dh got a message from his longtime life insurance provider. (He actually worked for them, when we were first married.) Let's call them Company A.
Around the time we got married, dh took out a fairly sizeable life insurance policy on himself, with me as the beneficiary. The premiums were $70 a month (which was a lot of money for us when we were first getting started). And we've been paying $70 a month for well over 35 years now.
Anyway, the message said the value of his contributions were no longer enough to fund the policy (and of course, he'd turned 65 in the meantime...!), and as a result, his premiums were about to increase, big time. $70 a month turned into just over $300 a month (!). (Ouch!)
I said, "This is ridiculous, we need to find you a cheaper policy." We realized we didn't need quite that much insurance on him now anyway -- we have a lot more resources I could fall back on now if something were to happen to him, versus when we were newly married and expecting to have a family. Our former company's retiree benefits offerings include life insurance -- and those benefits came up for re-enrollment this fall -- so he submitted a request for insurance (a smaller amount) through there. (In retrospect, I suppose we could have just called Company A and asked what it would cost to downscale his policy to a lesser sum -- oh well....!)
Our benefits are provided by a different insurance company -- Company B -- BUT, they outsource their life insurance benefits coverage to Company A. As part of dh's application/request for coverage, he had to submit an evidence of insurability form when we were re-enrolling in our benefits earlier this fall. Since then, he's had to go through a lengthy phone interview with Company A, and we had a nurse actually come to our condo about a month ago to do bloodwork and a medical assessment.
Earlier today, he got an email from Company A with an encrypted link to a message on their secure website. (He'd set up a password, etc., with them previously.) Clicked on the link, nothing happened. Blank screen. He forwarded it to me, I tried on both my cellphone and my laptop, nothing.
I said to him, "We'd better call Company A." Dh has NO PATIENCE for that sort of thing, so I wound up calling. (Miraculously, it never took more than about a minute to wait to speak to someone, once I'd successfully navigated through the initial call menu.) The first guy I spoke with said he could see that dh's request had been approved (yay!) -- but he could not see the contents of the message to confirm that. I mean, great, we're approved, and maybe all the message said was "Congratulations! You're approved!" -- but what if there were instructions within for something else we had to do? We needed to know what was in that message.
The guy I was speaking with said he would have to transfer us to another number for more information. I gave the phone to dh so he could talk. This rep was spectacularly unhelpful, and told dh to call our HR department (!!). Our former company's HR department has nothing whatsoever to do with pensions or employee benefits anymore; it's all been outsourced to Company B.
Dh hung up in frustration.
I decided to try again. Well -- I will swear I talked to at least 8 different people (having to repeat my story every time) and was given at least 5 or 6 different numbers to call (not including outright transfers to other departments). The last number I was told was the correct number to call was not in service. (!!) You can't make this stuff up.
I finally called Company B (our overall benefits provider) and poured out my tale of woe to the customer service rep, who was very calm, sympathetic & kind. She gave me another phone number for Company A (!) -- but she also offered to open up a case number and check things out on their end. She said it could take a few days, and said if I didn't get any satisfaction from Company A to call them at Company B again, and she provided me with the case number to use then.
After I spoke to her, I felt much calmer. I went back to my laptop and tried clicking on the link in Sam's email again. Lo and behold!! a sign-in window opened up. (Make a liar out of me, right?) I entered dh's password, and there was the message -- yes! he's been approved! (No further action required.)
I felt kind of ridiculous after all that rigomorole. I think we just didn't wait long enough for the sign-in window to open (it did take a while).
But seriously??! WHAT A RUNAROUND. I felt SO stressed when I finally got off the phone and I still feel just drained. It shouldn't have to be this hard to get an answer to a simple question!
Dh said to me, "At least you have some skills here. Can you imagine your mom or dad trying to do this??" (Oy.)
You know, I've heard Jody Day of Gateway Women say that childless people often wind up in care homes at a much younger age than people with kids. And it's not that they're in any worse shape than parents are. When people think of eldercare, they think of intimate care -- things like needing help with baths and changing pads and using the toilet, etc. Only a small fraction of older people need this sort of care, particularly at the younger end of the spectrum. More often than not, what they need is exactly what I just experienced -- help with navigating technology, advocating/negotiating with bureaucracy, standing on a ladder to change a high-up light bulb, transportation to a doctor's appointment, etc. etc. If they (we!) can get that sort of occasional practical help on a consistent basis, they can stay in their homes so much longer.
Dh plans to call Company A back in a few days to cancel his old/larger policy, now that we have this lower level/cheaper coverage approved through our retiree benefits. And all this reminds me -- I should check in on the status of my case with my credit card company/Amazon again.
(But NOT TODAY!! lol)
Monday, November 13, 2023
#MicroblogMondays: Down the rabbit hole, part 2
After spending the past week-plus immersed in my Mom's Ancestry DNA results, my own results arrived yesterday.
In a nutshell -- I'm a mutt. :) (lol) And, as I said last week, I can only imagine what a mixture our Katie would have been...!
On Mom's side, I'm basically
the same mix as Mom is, but in smaller quantities: 17% from Sweden &
Denmark (primarily central and southern Sweden), 15% Scotland, 7% Norway, 4% Ireland, 3% Finland.
On Dad’s side, both of my grandparents'/their families came to Canada from western Ukraine, near Lviv -- an area that now borders Moldova, Romania, Hungary, Slovakia and Poland -- which was actually considered part of Austria when my grandfather was growing up.
So I was I was unsurprised to learn that 39% of my heritage comes from Eastern Europe & Russia, which includes Ukraine, parts of Poland & Romania.
But I WAS surprised by what a mixture the rest of my genetic makeup was on that side:
- 4% from The Balkans (primarily located in: Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Croatia, Romania and Serbia, but also found in Albania, Austria, Greece, Hungary, Kosovo, Moldova, Montenegro, North Macedonia, Slovakia and Slovenia...!);
- 3% The Baltics (primarily located in Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania, but also found in Belarus, Poland, Russia and Ukraine);
- 1% Greece & Albania (primarily located in: Albania, Greece, Kosovo and North Macedonia, but also found in Bulgaria, Montenegro, Romania, Serbia and Turkey), and
- 1% Aegean Islands -- primarily located in Greece, but also found in Turkey and... Italy!! lol
- (Hey, dh! You may have married a "paisan" after all...!)
Friday, November 10, 2023
The Childless Collective Summit is back!
Registration is now open for the 3rd Childless Collective Summit! This year's virtual summit, once again organized by Katy Seppi, is coming up very soon, starting Dec. 2nd and running through Dec. 5th.
- Find out more and register for FREE here! All sessions are available, for free, for 24 hours after they're originally aired online.
- If you don't think that gives you enough time to see everything you want to see, there's a Pace Yourself Pass on sale (currently $97 USD; the price may increase as we get closer to the summit) that gives you access to all the presentations for a full year, plus some great bonuses available only to passholders. (I've bought passes for the previous two summits, and they came in very handy!)
- Katy is also planning a "real life" summit to be held in Charleston, South Carolina, in April! More details to come (after she finishes with this one, I'm sure...!).
- The post I wrote after the first summit in 2021, here



