#MicroblogMondays: Cottage weekend

I know I had a few ideas in mind for a #MM post this week, but they have all completely left my head. 

So I will just say that we spent the weekend with BIL, SIL & dh's cousins at their cottage (for the 5th straight September), enjoying good food, pretty scenery (fall colours not quite as advanced as they were the same weekend two years ago, but getting stronger every day we were there), great company and great conversation (aside from a few too many "Grandkids are the best!" references for my comfort...!). 

Back to reality today!  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

View of the marina across the lake, from the dock on Saturday afternoon. 

"The Secrets of Blythswood Square" by Sara Sheridan

"The Secrets of Blythswood Square" by Sara Sheridan is the October selection for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club. We read another novel by Sheridan two years ago, "The Fair Botanists" (reviewed here).

Like "The Fair Botanists," "The Secrets of Blythswood Square" is set in Victorian-era Scotland -- (mostly) Glasgow, 1846 -- and involves the stories of two women from very different backgrounds:  Ellory Mann, a working-class girl who -- thanks to a generous benefactor -- leaves her job as a photographer's assistant in Edinburgh and comes to Glasgow to set up shop for herself;  and Charlotte Nicholl, the sheltered daughter of a Glasgow businessman, who is left alone in a big house on Blythswood Square -- and less well off than she anticipated -- after he dies.  

The book includes some familiar cliches -- with a few twists. For one thing, there are quite a few decidedly un-Victorian characters and attitudes portrayed.  The two unconventional and independent protagonists, for example, may not be typical of women of this period -- but they do make for a good story, overall. ;)  There's a large cast of supporting characters, whose storylines all become intertwined with Charlotte's & Ellory's, including real-life American abolitionist Frederick Douglass, who spent time in the United Kingdom, speaking out against slavery. There's also Ellory's assistant-turned-model, Jane;   a mysterious stranger who shows up at Charlotte's father's funeral, an actress, her gay dresser, a father-son team of lawyers, and a very proper neighbour who tries to take charge of Charlotte's life. 

There's a plot twist relatively early on -- a discovery that Charlotte makes about her father -- that I did not see coming (despite the "scandal" hinted at in the cover blurb!). The plot becomes increasingly complex, and it seems like everyone is keeping secrets from each other. I did guess one of the other plot twists, near the end of the book, as well as another twist revealed in the closing pages. Despite the cliches, the writing is good, the characters (while perhaps unrealistically modern in some ways) are interesting and overall, the book held my attention, especially the further I got into it. 

The author has done her research:  in an afterword, she reveals what was real in the book, what wasn't, and what was fiction but inspired by real-life people and events. 

I gave "The Fair Botanists" a rating of 3.5 stars on StoryGraph, rounded down to 3 stars on Goodreads. Initially, I gave this book the same, but after sleeping on it, I've decided to upgrade the Goodreads rating to 4 stars. :)  

This was Book #27 read to date in 2025 (and Book #2 finished in September), bringing me to 60% of  my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 5 books behind  schedule to meet my goal.  :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2025 tagged as "2025 books." 

#MicroblogMondays: Odds & ends

• 
  "I had an accident," my 86-year-old father sheepishly confessed over the phone on Sunday afternoon. (!!!)  VERY thankfully!! he's fine!  
• However! -- the wall between the garage and the laundry/mud room of the house is not. :( 
• He was bringing the car into the garage when it started raining on Friday. His foot slipped on the brake and the car crashed into the wall. (!)  :(  There is a sizeable dent in the wall that I am told you can see daylight through. (My sister was there this weekend, and has promised to send photos.) 
• Funnily enough, the car came through with barely a scratch too. 
• It will probably cost several thousand dollars to repair the wall -- money that my parents do not have to spare. ("Dust off your chequebook,"  my sister told me grimly.)  My sister's partner has boarded up the crash site to keep out the cold, rodents, etc., until it can be fixed.   
• The potentially good (?) news to come out of this is that my parents have agreed to add their names to the waiting lists for seniors housing in several different places in town this week -- something we've been wanting them to do for several years now. 
• I always thought it would probably take a crisis of some sort to get them to move. I'm just glad it wasn't something worse! 
• Big changes to come in the next few months/year, I think...  :(  
• World Childless Week is over and (sadly, as is often the case for me), I still haven't read or watched very many of the wonderful offerings now available on the WCW 2025 website. If you haven't yet done it yourself, go have a look! 
• I did manage to post something every day during WCW about the daily theme and any relevant posts I've written, all tagged "WCW 2025." 
• Seasonal allergies haven't bothered me much in recent years -- and when they have, it's usually in late May/early June. But this past week or two, I've been suffering through violent sneezing fits, scratchy throat & ears;  itchy, burning, sticky eyes; fatigue.... ugh. I've been taking Claritin daily since this started, which usually does the trick... I'm feeling somewhat better this weekend (fingers crossed...!), but it sure took its time kicking in...!  
• I know everyone advises you to close the windows & run an air purifier, but I hate to do that when it's been so nice outside (and the time that we can do that is rapidly dwindling, as temperatures start to drop...!). 
• I was so sad to hear that Robert Redford died this past week. (How was he 89?!!).  
• I fell in love with Redford at age 12 when I saw him (and Paul Newman! -- were there ever two more gorgeous men on screen, together or separately??) in "The Sting." (I didn't get to see "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" until several years later, on TV.) 
• My sister & I saw it with our two cousins, while our parents watched "Blazing Saddles" -- rated R -- in an adjacent theatre. And "The Exorcist" was playing in the theatre right next to ours.  I remember my cousin pressing his ear against the wall to see if he could hear people screaming, lol. 
• A few years later, my mom took my sister & me to the drive-in theatre -- on a school night! (such was the power of Redford back then...!) -- to see "The Great Gatsby." (But first, we had to sit through "The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad" -- what a double bill!!)  
• We saw "The Way We Were" around the same time.  And, in the years that followed, "The Great Waldo Pepper," "All the President's Men" (which I wrote about here), "Three Days of the Condor," "Sneakers," "The Natural," "Out of Africa" (saw that one on one of my birthdays), "The Horse Whisperer," and so many more -- not to mention the amazing movies he directed -- among them "Ordinary People," "Quiz Show," and "A River Runs Through It." 
• I was reminded of a popular dessert from the 1970s (which my mom still makes from time to time). It was commonly known as "Better Than Sex"(lol) -- but on my Mom's recipe card, it's called "The Next Best Thing to Robert Redford" (or simply "Robert Redford"), lol. 
• I realized the minute I mentioned this dessert, someone was going to ask for the recipe -- and while I think I have a copy somewhere, I took the easy way out and Googled, and sure enough, up it popped. If this isn't the exact same recipe my mom had, it's pretty close!  Enjoy! 
• ALI note:  Did you know Redford and his first wife Lola lost their first son Scott to SIDS in 1959?  He was just two months old. :(   (His parents were in their early 20s.) He also lost his second son, James, in 2020, to cancer, when James was 58.  
• They don't make 'em like that anymore... 
• While dh watched the first NFL game of the season on a recent Sunday afternoon, involving his beloved Pittsburgh Steelers, I blocked out the cursing and yelling (lol) by catching up on some podcast episodes, including a couple from The Full Stop.
• I also listened to episode #71 -- the one I appeared on with Sandra McNicol in February, talking about childlessness and pregnancy loss. (I posted about it here.) This was the first time I'd actually listened to the finished episode on audio only, although I'd watched a video recording the day after we recorded it. Maybe it was because I was actually just LISTENING and not WATCHING myself on a screen too, or maybe enough time has passed, but it was (thankfully!) not as difficult to listen to at this point..
• Y.L. Wolfe muses "This Is Why We Hate Childfree Women"  ("we" = society). (The answer is in her subhead:  "They represent everything the patriarchy fears.")  
• British podcaster and author Elizabeth Day had an article in The Guardian recently about a life-changing call with a psychic. (There's an ALI angle.)  
• I've been following Charlie Angus's Substack, "The Resistance," for a while now. Charlie is a year or two younger than me, a punk rocker in his youth (!) who still plays in a band, and who was, until recently, a member of Parliament from the New Democratic Party (NDP), representing the riding in northern Ontario where he was born. He's been one of the most vocal and effective advocates for a strong, independent Canada in recent months. 
• This particular post is about the Group of Seven (a group of influential 20th century Canadian artists), and how Tom Thomson's famous painting "The Jack Pine" personifies and symbolizes the country and our spirit of survival and resistance. 
• As a proud Canadian, and a member at the McMichael Canadian Art Collection, which has a large holding of Group of Seven artwork, this one struck a chord. ;)  
• I appreciated this Substack post from Garrett Bucks at The White Pages about social media and the role it plays in building community, for good and for bad:  "The Internet is Killing Us." 
• In a similar vein:  I'm an unpaid subscriber to Katherine May's Substack "The Clearing," and while most of this post -- also about social media -- is paywalled, I completely agree with her thoughts in the portion that's visible (particularly the second paragraph I've quoted here):  

I was one of the true believers in the early days of Twitter, and I’m still grateful for so much of what I’ve found and learned across the various platforms I’ve been on. But I think, on both a personal and professional basis, social media has become unmanageable. It’s addictive by design, primed to draw us into tribalism and conflict, and - unless your creative practice is making short videos - a major distraction from the work that matters.




And yet; and yet. I’m averse to the view that social media is uniformly evil or dangerous; I still believe that it can bring isolated people together in a way that we’ve never seen before. I don’t think I’ll ever be the kind of author who does no socials at all. I love the opportunity to be in contact with the the people who read my books and with other authors. I often think of how unnerving the author’s life must once have been before we could do this: sending out books into silence, and perhaps waiting months for any response.




So I remain on social media, but in a far more controlled way than I once did... 

I've been trying (trying!) to wean myself away from social media a bit, especially the mindless scrolling. I still have a Twitter/X account, but rarely go on there. I'm on Bluesky & Threads, but try to limit the time I spend scrolling there. I am not on TikTok. 

On Facebook, I generally just go straight to "Feeds/Friends," where I only see content posted by my friends. (There's a feed for "Groups" too.)  Depending on the friends (lol), I may not may not be interested in or agree with what they post (but that's where the "mute" button comes in handy, lol), but the "Friends" feed is much more curated than just scrolling through the random stuff in the general feed, and I get to see more of the stuff that matters to me -- i.e., my friends' posts -- which is what I came to social media for in the first place.  

• Infertile Phoenix has noticed a substantial increase in the number of views her blog has been getting lately, and asked readers to indicate if they're human (or bots?).  
• Someone commented on Phoenix's post to say it was probably "'referral spam—fake visits that try to show up in your Google Analytics so you’ll click the link or buy their “traffic” service. It’s noise, not real customers.'" That's good to know. 
• I don't often look at my stats -- I've never been one to worry about increasing readership and getting clicks, etc; I'm just happy if people who are looking for support and want to feel less alone find my blog. 
• But I was curious, so I had a look. Sure enough, there's been a SUBSTANTIAL spike in page views recently. If I look at the trends over time, there was a small spike in mid-2023, a larger spike in early 2024, and then a HUGE spike this past month, peaking at almost 86,000 views on Sept. 19th alone (an all-time high)! That's BONKERS!! (compared to what I was getting in years gone by). 
• The U.S. is still a top source of viewers, but I've had a huge uptick in viewers from Hong Kong, Singapore and Brazil, among others.  
• "Referral spam" or not, it's a bit creepy. I wonder if AI is scraping my blog (our blogs?) to fuel its databases... or possibly (even worse) whether childless women are being targeted and monitored in some way for political purposes?    
• I try not to get too overtly political here -- but it seems like everything is political these days, especially when it comes to women, reproductive matters, and those of us who have deviated from the "norm" (even when that's been despite our desires and best efforts). 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

World Childless Week, Day Seven: Moving Forwards

The focus of Day Seven of  World Childless Week 2025 (as it usually is for the final day of WCW) is "Moving Forwards."  

From the website description: 

Have you seen glimmers of hope or changes in your mood that make you smile? Have you started to make new plans or found new ideas popping into your head? Are you starting to like and celebrate who you are, the life you have and the future that is waiting for you? 

Has the road forward become LESS OF A MOUNTAIN and MORE OF A RAMBLE?

*** *** ***  

The passage of time (almost -- gulp!! -- 25+ years!!) since I left fertility treatments, and looking back on certain milestones will often bring a shock of recognition of how things have changed, how far I've come and how differently I feel now than I did then. (One advantage of getting older is that fewer and fewer people ask and hint and prod you about pregnancy plans... although eventually, you start getting questions about how many grandchildren you have instead...!)

I think back to one particular incident, at Christmastime, a few years after we had thrown in the towel on infertility treatments, which showed me that perhaps I was further down the road of acceptance than I had realized.  I wrote about it here. 

Another measure of progress would be my increasing ability/willingness to enter a Baby Gap (or other baby/kids' clothing) store. (And, dare I say, to even enjoy it??)  Once, it was a source of pain, to be avoided. I eventually did get to the point where I could go in to buy a baby shower gift (even if was often just a gift card...!). These days, I love to go there (and other children's wear stores) to shop for our three great-niblings -- albeit the little girls' racks in particular still have the power to give me occasional pangs... 

There are probably other markers of progress that I've written about over the years, although I can't recall any other specific posts to share here with you right now. 

One thing I remember from our pregnancy loss support group days is that you never realized just how far you'd come down this road less travelled until someone new arrived, fresh and raw in their own grief. I still see that to some extent today, when I read social media posts and responses from younger women who are new to the stunning realization that they will not have the children they assumed they would have. 

My life today is very different from the life I once imagined I would be leading. I will never stop missing my daughter, and wondering about that other life I might have had, that once seemed within my grasp... 

But even so, all things considered? I have a pretty damn good life. I don't think it's better or worse than the life I might have led, if I'd had children.  It's just different. It's a good life, on its own merits.  And I'm not going to pretend otherwise, or apologize for it. I didn't get a "rainbow baby," but I think I've found rainbows in my life in other ways. The strong relationship I have with my husband, closer relationships we've forged with our nephews and now their children (closer than if we'd had our own kids & grandkids to focus on, I'm sure), early retirement, nice home, occasional travel, mornings that I get to sleep in, freedom and flexibility in other ways... I consider all these things and more the "silver linings" in the dark cloud of pregnancy loss, infertility, involuntary childlessness and grief that shadowed my life for so many years. I think I've earned them. 

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and five free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Seven page and WCW YouTube channel for anyone who cannot watch live.  

World Childless Week, Day Six: We Are Worthy

The focus of Day Six of  World Childless Week 2025 is "We Are Worthy." 

This is a frequent WCW theme!  From the website description: 

There are times we doubt who we are, and question where we fit in society. Today is the day to yell “here I am, and I am wonderful and worthy to be seen and heard for being exactly who I am”. So polish your crown, stand up tall, and belief in your worth.  

Today is your day to smile and SHOUT about HOW WONDERFUL YOU ARE!

*** *** ***  

Back in 2018, there was an online summit for childless people during National Infertility Awareness Week on the theme of "We Are Worthy," and I wrote about it and my thoughts on the subject of worthiness here. 

I can't think of any other posts I've written about worth/worthiness in particular -- but I have pointed out plenty of examples of pronatalism and how the childless/free experience has been marginalized, when I've found them. I didn't know the term "pronatalism" when I first started this blog, so I started using the tag "mommy mania" -- the best I could come up with at the time. I've since re-tagged most of those posts as "pronatalism." 

The "bible" on pronatalism from a childfree (by choice) perspective would be "The Baby Matrix" by Laura Carroll (which I reviewed here).  A real eye-opener, and highly recommended!  

On the flip side, I suppose, would be the posts I've written about/touching on feminism, tagged as "the f word." I was brought up thoroughly steeped in the second-wave feminist messages of the 1970s (for good and for bad);  I have always believed and often said that I am more than my uterus. Unfortunately, that's still not the message that society tends to send us or the people around us....!  -- and pronatalism is, sadly, making a resurgence these days. 

We shouldn't have to -- we need not -- justify or apologize for our lack of children. We are so many things besides our parental status, our ability to reproduce. We are more than our uteruses.  We have so much more to offer the world than (just) children -- if the world would only take the time to stop, think, and see us -- REALLY see us.  We are whole, complex, amazing, valuable, human beings, just as we are. 

We are worthy. 

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and five free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Six page and WCW YouTube channel for anyone who cannot watch live.  

Also be sure to check out the separate page of member submissions for the #IAmMe gallery! From the website:  "#IAmMe is about finding your positives, seeing your achievements, sharing your joys, celebrating what you love: your hobies, personality traits, relationships, achievements, qualifications, inner worth and who you are in this world. #IAmMe is about anything you want it to be."

World Childless Week, Day Five: Have You Got Kids?

Day Five of  World Childless Week 2025 is all about how we answer (or don't answer) that seemingly innocent (but dreaded) question: "Have you got kids?"  

From the website description: 

Do you make a joke or try to change the subject, to hide your emotions? Do you simply respond “no” or give them an indepth answer and put them on the end of feeling awkward? Are there things you’d like to say but instead bite your tongue whilst holding back tears? How does this question make you feel? 

Is it time for us to CHANGE the NARRATIVE? 

*** *** ***  

I don't think I've written any posts that deal specifically with this question -- but I'm sure there's a few anecdotes on this blog somewhere...! -- because I most certainly have been asked this question (many times) -- and had to deal with the awkwardness that always follows when I have to tell people "no."  

In my/our younger days, before or while we were trying to conceive, I would say no, followed by a vague "One of these days..."  

I remember being at an engagement party for one of dh's cousins, about 30 years ago, when we were in the very early stages of ttc, after 10 years of marriage. I was chatting with the future groom -- we'd met a few times before, but hadn't really had a personal conversation between us -- and he asked me the dreaded question. When I said no, he practically shouted (in front of the entire party), "WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??" (I've often wondered whether he remembers that conversation -- because I sure do -- and/or regrets his words -- especially given how things evolved in the years after that...!) 

And I distinctly remember being at an all-day/12-hour scrapbooking crop (post-loss and failed fertility treatments) and being seated at a table with a couple of women who were friends -- and moms -- and chatting away non-stop about their children (all day!), while working on scrapbook pages about them. "Do you have any kids?"  one finally asked me. "No," I said. That immediately killed the conversation, not only for the next few minutes, but for the rest of the day! -- they completely ignored me after that, and neither of them addressed another word to me!!  Talk about awkward...!  

Almost as bad:  the follow-up assumptive questions or remarks:  "What's the matter, don't you like kids?"  Or, "Must be nice...." Or, "Oh, you must get to do a lot of travelling then!" (Actually, no -- I had a job, I had family to visit during my vacation, and even when you're retired, you can't afford to travel 365 days a year...!) 

The good news is, now that I'm in my 60s, I don't get asked very often anymore. (Of course I haven't actually met a lot of new people lately...!) 

I'm of a few minds when it comes to answering this question. First -- if people are going to ask the question, they need to be prepared for the answer, even if it's not the usual one (and even if it's difficult for them to hear, if they press me on "why not?").  Second, it's entirely acceptable to deflect a bit with a response along the lines of "Well, that's a kind of painful topic..." And third, not everyone has earned the right to hear my story. If they press further, it's okay to firmly respond, "It's not something I'm comfortable talking about" -- and/or "Next subject?" (Although it's amazing to me how many women/mothers find it difficult to talk about or show interest in any subject other than their children...!) 

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and four free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Five page and WCW YouTube channel for anyone who cannot watch live.  

World Childless Week, Day Four: Childless Health Care?

Day Four of  World Childless Week 2025 is all about "Childless Health Care?" From the website description: 

Have you sat in a gynae room surrounded by pregnant women? Have you woke up on a hospital ward surrounded by new mums? Has a fertility clinic ignored you as soon as you ran out of money for more treatment? Has a nurse made a joke that was insensitive, a doctor used terminology that hurt? 

Has the health system let you down and created MORE HEARTACHE than HEALING?

*** *** ***  

Overall, I was lucky to have had great care from my family doctor and ob-gyn (perhaps less so from the fertility clinic and RE...!) -- and, being Canadian, I've never had to deal with the matter of bills, being "in-network," etc.  (Fertility treatment, of course, was another matter entirely...!)  

But I know most of the above painful scenarios have applied to me, and I imagine any childless-not-by-choice woman will have encountered at least one or more (and possibly all) of these at some point. My one big exception on the list:  I was very lucky that I never woke up on a hospital ward surrounded by new mothers; I delivered my stillborn daughter at a big city hospital where they routinely handled these situations, and had a special wing with private rooms to deal with them. (One CNBC mother I know remembers spending her son's final moments in the privacy of what was essentially a broom closet. Seriously.) 

My room was, however, on the same floor as the maternity ward, in the same wing as rooms where parents could spend time with their dying babies, and directly across the hallway from the neonatal intensive care unit. We couldn't see inside, but we could hear the beeps of the monitors whenever the door opened.  

My most relevant posts on this subject will likely be found under the labels "1998 memories" and "The Treatment Diaries," although I'm sure there are many more. (I have a general label of "health," but it's pretty broad, and there are currently almost 300 posts in that category!) 

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and four free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Four page and WCW YouTube channel for anyone who cannot watch live.  

World Childless Week, Day Three: Childlessness & The Arts

Day Three of  World Childless Week 2025 is focused on "Childlessness and the Arts." From the website description: 

Do you use the power of your voice to release emotions through singing or acting? Does the stillness of photography or silence of painting give you the opportunity to explore your emotions? Does the physical exertion of pottery or freedom of dance allow you to express the words you can’t say?

WHAT HAVE YOU CREATED that explores your childlessness? 

*** *** ***  

What have I created that explores my childlessness?  This blog, of course! ;)  But I've seen & heard some wonderful creations (of all sorts) from childless artists, musicians, writers & crafters. I'm really looking forward to seeing what they have to share today! 

But do check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and two free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Three page and WCW YouTube channel for anyone who cannot watch live.  

World Childless Week, Day Two: Childless LGBTQIA+

Day Two of World Childless Week 2025 is about "Childless LGBTQIA+."  From the website description: 

What do you encounter that is hidden from society that needs to be brought to the forefront and exposed? Have you been denied or found it harder to get fertility treatment because of your relationship status, sexuality or gender identity? Have people made assumptions about your desire to have been a parent because of how you identify? 

Has YOUR IDENTITY caused you ADDITIONAL  STRUGGLES with prejudice, discrimination and judgement when facing childlessness?

*** *** ***  

This is obviously a topic that lies outside of my lived experience. I have touched on LGBT+ issues in some of my past posts, but I hesitate to link to them here today (today really isn't about me, you know?).  

But do check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Two page and WCW YouTube channel for anyone who cannot make the live event. 

#MicroblogMondays: It's World Childless Week! Day One: Our Stories

(Reposted with updates and additions from previous years' WCW Day One: Our Stories posts.)   

World Childless Week is here!  -- an entire week filled with inspiring and comforting things to read, watch, listen to and participate in, focused on a different topic/theme each day (and new material posted daily too). If you miss some of the live webinars, don't worry;  they are posted on the WCW website later in the day/week to be enjoyed and consulted indefinitely. (Previous years' WCW content is also available onsite -- what a great resource for our community!) 

As usual, I didn't manage to get my act together to write something new (or even in time for a morning post...!)  -- but I'm always happy to promote WCW here. A couple of years ago, it occurred to me that I've already covered many of the WCW topics in my blog over the almost (gulp) 18 (!) years I've been writing here. So each day this week, I will *attempt* (I have great intentions...!) to post about the day's topic here, with some links to some of my own previous writing here on the subject (if any). (Some of the content I wrote for previous years' WCW summary posts may be repurposed for this year's posts.) 

Enjoy! :) 

*** *** *** 

Day One is focused on the theme "Our Stories" (as it usually is).  

We often find our words are dismissed, truth laughed at and emotions swept aside. If you are childless due to infertility, circumstance, chance or tough choices, you can share your story here with confidence. We won’t judge, we are just hear to listen.

Today is YOUR day to share YOUR childless story in YOUR way.

I'm a firm believer in the power of telling our stories (if only to each other, at least at first). Meetings of the pregnancy loss support group that dh & I used to facilitate would always begin by going around the room and having each person introduce themselves and tell us their story, what brought them to us. Sometimes (especially at first), the stories would be long, detailed and filled with tears. Over time, new details would emerge that we hadn't heard before. And we'd learn to develop a shortened "Reader's Digest" version of our story, which left more time for the longer stories (plus, over time, the "regulars" would all get to know each other and each others' stories pretty well, so it wasn't quite as necessary or important to go through all the details for the umpteenth time). 

Telling and retelling our stories to each other like this, week after week, in a supportive environment among others who had similar stories to tell, was good practice for handling those inevitable innocent questions and awkward encounters that all of us experience, sooner or later. In training sessions, we also learned that telling our stories, or some version of them -- over and over and over again -- actually helps our brains to process what happened. 

I think the same principles apply to our stories about our childlessness.  Our stories matter, because they're OURS, and because by telling them, we light the way for other childless women looking for support and comfort.  

Our stories remind each other that we are not alone.  

This entire blog, of course, is my story :) (or at least parts of/a version of it) and it has evolved, along with my story, over the past 18 years.  A barebones, thumbnail version of my story can be found in the "About me" Blogger profile near the top of this page on the right-hand side (or in the link here). You can find a slightly longer version in the "About me" page (found just under the title/header of this blog). The "Timeline" page (link right beside the "About me" link) also gives you an idea of how my story unfolded and some of the significant dates & events. 

If you're *really* interested in all the gory details (and be forewarned, some of them ARE a bit gory, emotionally if not physically), I wrote a series of posts tagged "1998 memories" in which I relived my one doomed pregnancy, 10 years after the fact. I did the same thing with "The Treatment Diaries," all about our foray into infertility treatments, 10 years after we abandoned them and resigned ourselves to permanent childlessness. 

I also wrote a few posts shortly after I started this blog, where I told a condensed version of my story (up to that time): 

• Blogtivism: My Story (& how mandated coverage could have helped) (November 2007)
• How we made "the decision" (November 2007)

If you have some difficulty telling your story to others (and I know I have!) -- especially to parents who might not understand/appreciate the subtleties of involuntary childlessness -- take comfort in the words of Brene Brown -- who emphasizes the importance of telling our stories -- but also this:  

Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?" If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions. Today's webinars have all concluded (as World Childless Week is a UK-based initiative, most webinars take place in the early morning through mid-afternoon hours, North American time), but all were recorded, and the videos will be posted to the WCW 2025 Day One page, as well as the WCW YouTube channel, for anyone who missed seeing them live.  

There will be more community submissions and webinars tomorrow, when the topic will be "Childless LGBTQIA+." 

(Mali is also promoting World Childless Week on her blog -- check out her post here.) 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

"A Place of Greater Safety" by Hilary Mantel

My latest book is one I've been reading over the last few months as part of another "slow read" guided by Simon Haisell at Footnotes & Tangents. You may recall that last year, along with Leo Tolstoy's "War and Peace," we read the three books in Hilary Mantel's "Cromwell Trilogy" together. 

This summer (early May through mid-September), we tackled the very first novel Mantel wrote (although it was not published until 1992):  "A Place of Greater Safety."  Like the books in the Cromwell Trilogy, it's a long one (the paperback clocks in at almost 900 pages) and -- as with the last volume of the Cromwell Trilogy, "The Mirror and the Light" -- I got behind on the weekly readings in August while fulfilling other book club obligations, and had to do a marathon catch-up session so that I could finish the book on time (more or less...!) along with everyone else...!  (The final chapter summary & discussion post will be published on Monday.) 

Fast forward some 200+ years from Cromwell and across the English Channel to France, and the French Revolution. This is an epic novel, featuring a sprawling cast of characters and shifting points of view among them all. The three main ones: friends/frenemies Georges-Jacques Danton, Maximilien Robespierre and Camille Desmoulins, all members of the Jacobin Club, who live on or near the Rue de Cordeliers in Paris. 

I knew a little about the French Revolution -- the basic facts -- before reading this book, but not a whole lot, and while the names of Danton and Robespierre were familiar to me, Desmoulins was less so -- and I had no idea what specific roles they played in the upheaval. This book tell us. It took a while to get all the main characters straight in my mind, but Simon's huge cast of characters list helped a lot.  

(Another reader, in the comments on one of Simon's weekly summary/context posts, quipped that they saw Camille as Tom Hiddleston/Loki.  Personally, I was picturing Timothee Chalamet -- I think it was the descriptions of his hair! lol -- but I can see that too!  lol )  

We see the events of the revolution through their eyes as they happen -- which means we never really get the full overall picture of what's going on (just as anyone in the middle of history-making events never gets the full picture until later)(if ever). Thank goodness for Simon's weekly summary/context posts, which provided a little more context and clarity -- and the comments of the other readers, who confirmed (much to my relief!), week after week, that I was not alone in my confusion!  lol 

How to rate this one?  I think I can summarize the book and my reaction to it in a comment I made to the group, midway through reading it: "This book is a bit of a mess -- but an interesting mess, nevertheless."  On the plus side, despite the lack of narrative clarity as to what exactly was going on, the writing is great (as one would expect from Hilary Mantel). The characters are vividly drawn, the three main ones in particular. We also get the perspectives of several female characters -- the wives/love interests of the three main protagonists, as well as other female historical figures -- which was really interesting.  

And while anyone familiar with history will know what happens (and while there are plenty of hints along the way), the last several chapters were still a pretty tense (even brutal) read -- with more than a few echoes of (ahem!) current events, when the events set in motion by our three main characters take on a life of their own and spin out of their control... (The line from the Beatles song kept going through my head:  "You say you want a revolution...?"  Followed by the thought: Be careful what you wish for...)  

(I debated whether or not to read up on the Revolution and the main characters before I started reading, or follow along with the recommended podcast episodes. I didn't, and I'm still not sure whether I chose the right path. Oh well. Now I'm wondering if I should do the research, listen to the podcast and re-read the book?? But -- so many books, so little time...) 

Midway through this book, I had settled on a rating of 3 stars on Goodreads. I'm upgrading it slightly to 3.5 on StoryGraph, because of those last few chapters.

Our next "slow read" starts Sept. 29th and runs for five weeks:  "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe. Details here.    

This was Book #26 read to date in 2025 (and Book #1 finished in September), bringing me to 58% of  my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 5 books behind  schedule to meet my goal.  :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2025 tagged as "2025 books." 

All in the family

Other childless people I've met tend (mostly) to fall into two camps when it comes to genealogy.  One: (like me) they tend to be the keepers of the family history (in part, perhaps, because they/we often wind up being the default caretakers of the elders in the family, spend more time with them and hear all the stories, etc.).  

Or:  they shy away from the subject. The reminders that their particular branch of the family ends here can be very painful. They don't feel like this stuff applies to them.  

Understandable!  

Not only are we reminded of our childlessness by the mere existence of a family tree, I have actually heard from some childless women that (sadly) some misguided family tree keepers make things worse by ONLY documenting the family lines that continue -- i.e., only people who have children get included. (!)  Imagine being told (as a few women have told me) that you've been left off the family tree -- your OWN FAMILY TREE!! -- because you don't have children.  OUCH, OUCH, OUCH.  As a childless  genealogist, I was horrified.  

So I've been gratified to sit in on a few genealogy webinars recently, where the speakers have advocated for a very different approach. 

Traditional genealogy has focused on finding your direct ancestors -- i.e., parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and so on, as far back as you can go. Obviously this is important -- but it's a pretty narrow focus that misses out on a lot of people, a lot of great stories, and a lot of information. 

More and more often, I'm hearing about the importance of identifying and documenting ALL the descendants you can (whether they're married with children or not). There are a number of reasons why. To name a few:  

• The more descendants you can identify and document, the more proof you will have that you're researching the right family (especially when you have a common surname).  
• You can cross-check the documented information for each child/sibling in a family to confirm and verify (and increase the likelihood of finding a critical missing piece of information, or perhaps something you hadn't known about before). 
• Finding all the documentation you can for ALL the people in your family that you can increases the likelihood of finding some great information -- not just the dry facts, but photos, letters, stories -- things that will add colour to your family story and make your ancestors come alive for you. 
• And finally (and this is my own personal point) -- it's just the right thing to do. We all need to feel included. Especially when it comes to our families.   

As I think I mentioned in the genealogy-related webinar I co-hosted last year with Michael Hughes during World Childless Week, some of the childless women in my family tree led/lead pretty interesting lives. One of my favourite blog posts that I've written, from 2014, was about a childless great-great-great aunt who saved letters and scrapbooks that have been invaluable to our family history research.  The kicker being that she was adopted into the family and was not a genetic relative at all!  

Other genealogy-related posts here. 

Small pleasures and annoying things

Annoying things: 

• (Much) more complicated plumbing repairs than expected -- leading to a much larger than expected plumbing bill (And the work is not done yet...!)  :p  Plus...! (see my next point): 
• A message from the condo corporation notifying us of a special assessment  (payable in two installments) to help cover roof repair costs plus the anticipated replacement of our rooftop "chiller" unit that provides air conditioning to the entire building.  
• (Me to dh:  "I guess it's a good thing we didn't plan a big trip to Europe this fall after all...!")  
• Waiting for a callback from the plumber to schedule the rest of the work we need to have done. 
• Back-to-school/off-to-college photo overload this week (with one exception, below ;)  ). 
• (I know I'm repeating myself here from recent previous posts.. let's just say I'm still working out my frustrations...!)  

Small pleasures: 

• A DRY, DRIP-FREE shower floor!!  
• Back-to-school photos of LGNephew #1 (Grade 1!!).  :)  
• Seeing a photo of my dad together with all of his remaining brothers & sisters (my aunts & uncles), celebrating my uncle's 90th (!) birthday.  :) (The oldest brother/uncle died a few years ago in his early 90s;  the remaining five siblings range in age from 78 to 94!) (My dad, at 86, is the YOUNGEST brother!)   
• A bit of "me alone at home time," while dh helps Younger Nephew & family move to their new house. (Nice to have, once in a while...!) 
• Catching up on my reading for one of my book groups (and looking forward to squeezing in afew books of my own choice soon...!).  
• Nearing the end of a project I've been helping an old friend with, on & off, for the past few years. She's so excited, and I'm so happy for her.  :)  
• Warmer (but not hot) weather. (Balcony door is open!) 

Odds & ends

• Today is the first day of school hereabouts! 
• Little Great-Nephew (the older/original one) is starting Grade 1 today!!  (eeekkkk....)  The one back-to-school photo I really wanted to see, lol. ;)  
• I heard a startling statistic on CNN on Labour Day morning:  I've always traditionally thought of  the day after Labour Day as the first day of school -- and I think that's fairly common in a lot of places across Canada (although in a few places we lived, we went back for at least a few days, the week before that). 
• I know that's not always the case in the U.S. -- but apparently only 15% of schools in the U.S. start after Labour Day -- the other 85% start before (i.e., in August). Wow! 
• (Of course, the school year ends in mid/late May for many U.S. schools too. Most of our schools go right to the end of June.) 
• I had proposed to dh that he & I mark the day by going out for brunch (because, as an older/childless couple with no kids to send off to school today, we can!).  
• However! Younger Nephew & his wife recently bought a house (and sold their two-bedroom townhouse near us). Moving day is actually tomorrow/Wednesday -- and dh is on call to help with that (although they have hired movers) --  but they take possession of their new home and get the keys today, so he's gone out with BIL (who has taken the entire week off work to help!) to move a few things over there today too. Sigh. 
• He's promised me brunch later in the week. 
• Recent related back-to-school rant here. 
• We watched "The Thursday Murder Club" movie on Netflix the day it was released (last Thursday, Aug. 28th). I enjoyed it hugely. (Dh enjoyed it too.)  Obviously, there's a lot from the novel that it left out, but it captured the flavour nicely, and you can't beat that cast! (or that setting!)   
• The school/church (church!! FFS...!!) shooting in Minneapolis last week (where I have a number of close relatives) brought back memories of other school shootings in the U.S.  Columbine, Parkland and Sandy Hook were mentioned frequently in the media and in social media posts I saw. 
• For parents of other children killed in school shootings, each new shooting obviously stirs up painful memories. On Threads, Nelba Marquez-Greene, mother of Ana Grace Marquez-Greene, a first-grader who died at Sandy Hook, posted sadly, "Why does Ana always get erased in people’s Sandy Hook talking points?"
• At the time Sandy Hook happened, Mel wrote about focusing on remembering just one of the young lives among the many snuffed out prematurely on that terrible day. As I wrote in a blog post at the time, I chose Ana.  As this article explains, Ana spent spent about half of her far-too-brief life in the city of Winnipeg in my home province of Manitoba, and had only recently moved back to Connecticut when she died. Her father is a jazz musician who taught at the School of Music at my alma mater, University of Manitoba.  I still think about her whenever Sandy Hook comes up. 
• Many in the comments assured her they had not forgotten Ana -- including me. "Dear Nelba," I posted, "when Sandy Hook happened, someone in one of my online communities pointed out that while it's sadly hard to remember the name of every child who died, perhaps each of us could pick one child to focus on & remember. I chose to remember Ana because I'm originally from Manitoba and learned of your ties to Winnipeg. I thought of her again yesterday. ❤️" 
• My comment has received almost 800 (!!!) likes to date.  
• Ali Hall at Life Without Children has assembled a great list of resources for childless and childfree people, including online communities, therapists, books, podcasts, movies, Substacks, social media accounts, notable dates and research/science. that she updates regularly  Many of the sites listed were familiar to me, but others were not, and they might be new to you too. I've added it to my own list of "Childless/free boards, sites & other resources" on the right-hand side of the pages here, near the bottom. Check it out! 
• Sue Fagalde Lick has signed off from her "Childless by Marriage" blog with a farewell post after exactly  18 (!) years of writing there (since August 27, 2007).  Luckily for us, she'll still be writing and speaking about childlessness in other places online. Go thank her for everything she's done to draw attention to a less-understood part of our community.  

Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

August went by in a flash!  We were pretty busy: we celebrated a (nephew's) birthday and a (cousin's son's) wedding, remembered Katie on her special day, dealt with some plumbing issues (that turned out to be more complicated -- and expensive! -- than we had anticipated), sweltered through some extreme heat & humidity earlier in the month, and then abruptly shifted to much cooler weather at its end!    

This month, we: 

• Spent some time with Little Great-Niece & SIL on several Friday mornings this month (Aug. 1st, 8th & 29th).  
• Stopped off at the supermarket to pick up some takeout soup for lunch en route home from SIL's. (Aug. 1st & 29th) 
• Celebrated Younger Nephew's 33rd (!) birthday at a barbecue at BIL's with the entire family on Aug. 3rd. We hadn't seen the great-niblings in more than a month :(  and while it was chaotic (lol), it was also a lot of fun. :)  
• Went to the supermarket with dh for groceries and takeout pizza slices for lunch (Aug. 4th & 11th). 
• Went to the local drugstore/cosmetic counter to pick up some favourite foundation before the wedding on the weekend (Clinique Even Better in Alabaster, if you're curious!). (Aug. 5th). 
• Remembered our Katie on Aug. 7th by bringing flowers to the cemetery, then having lunch at a local cafe, browsing in the bookstore (with Starbucks in hand, lol), and winding up with ice cream at Dairy Queen (tradition!). 
• Had a manicure & pedicure after visiting SIL & LGNiece on the morning of Aug. 8th, then headed to the bank for some cash and stopped at the supermarket en route home to pick up some takeout soup for lunch. 
• Attended dh's cousin's son's wedding on Aug. 9th. 
• Went to the local mall to walk and shop (and generally get out of the house...!). (Aug. 12th & 19th). Noticed the hordes of back to school shoppers (even in mid-August...!) and decided to avoid the mall until after Labour Day...!  lol 
• Went to the mall in our old community to get haircuts, have lunch, walk and shop. (Aug. 15th) 
• Drove with BIL & SIL to visit Older Nephew & family for a few hours (Aug. 16th). Had fun with the two Little Great Nephews.  :)  (And the dog!)  
• Went with dh for gelato -- only to find the shop is closed on Mondays (boo, hiss). Wound up having Blizzards at Dairy Queen instead (lol).  (Aug. 18th) 
• Returned to the gelato shop on Sunday, Aug. 24th. Success!  (We had our favourites: limone/lemon for me, chocolate for him.) 
• Went out for lunch (pizza at the supermarket takeout counter -- but instead of taking it home, we ate in the little "food court" sitting area there -- which we hadn't done since before the pandemic began!). Picked up a few things there, then went to the bookstore for a browse and to buy some greeting cards, and then to the drugstore. (Aug. 21st) 
• Spent the better part of two stress-filled days getting several long-standing minor (we THOUGHT...!) issues looked at and dealt with by a plumber (!): one visit to look at the issues and get an estimate (YIKES!), on Saturday, Aug. 23rd, and then actually having the work done (Monday, Aug. 25th) (and then cleaning up after they left, and more cleanup the next day...!). An experience I would NOT care to repeat any time soon...!!  

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** 

Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 4 books in August (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2025 books"). 

• The Two Mrs. Abbotts by D.E. Stevenson. I re-read this one in advance of my D.E. Stevenson group's chapter-by-chapter reading & discussion, which started Aug. 4th and runs through mid-October. (3.5-4 stars; my original 2015 review here;  most recent review here). 
• "Drive Your Plow (Over the Bones of the Dead)" by Olga Tokarczuk.(the August book for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club).  (3.5-4 stars; my review.) 
• "Wonderful Adventures of Mrs. Seacole in Many Lands" by Mary Seacole (the September book for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club). (3-3.5 stars; my review.)   
• "Death Comes to Marlow" by Robert Thorogood, in conjunction with the debut of the second season of "The Marlow Murder Club" on PBS Masterpiece Mystery (see "Watching," below). (3 stars; my review.) 

This brings me to 25 books read in 2025 to date, 56% of my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 4 books behind pace to meet my goal.  :) 

Current reads: 

• "The Two Mrs. Abbotts" by D.E. Stevenson. Chapter-by-chapter reading & discussion with my D.E. Stevenson group, which started Aug. 4th and runs through mid-October. (My original 2015 review here;  most recent review here).  35% completed to date. 
• "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's, where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
• "A Place of Greater Safety" by Hilary Mantel, the current slow read with Footnotes and Tangents, which began May 5th and runs for 20 weeks (until Sept. 15th). This one also got set aside for a few weeks while I tackled other, more urgent book group reads. Currently 59% completed. Hoping to catch up and finish at/around the same time the group does! 
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  
• "The Secrets of Blythswood Square" by Sara Sheridan. (October) 
• "We Solve Murders" by Richard Osman (November) 
• "I Am Half Sick of Shadows" by Alan Bradley (December) 
• For my D.E. Stevenson group:  This list of upcoming books should keep us busy through 2025 or even into early 2026!  (A couple of the books are ones we covered shortly after I first joined the group back in 2014 -- you know you've been around for a while when....!)  
• Crooked Adam. (I have never read this one, and we've never tackled it during my 11 years with the group! so I'm looking forward to it!)  
• The Four Graces (original 2015 review here). 

• Footnotes and Tangents slow readalongs planned for 2025 include:
• "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe -- starts Sept. 29th, for 5 weeks. 
• "The Blue Flower" by Penelope Fitzgerald -- starts Nov. 3rd, for 7 weeks. 

(Simon is a big fan of the late great Hilary Mantel, and the other books he's selected were all ones that she loved, so he figured they would probably be worth reading!) 

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points):  

• "Beyond Anxiety" by Martha Beck 
• "The Pretender" by Jo Harkin 
• "iGen" by Jean Twenge
• "This Way Up" by Cathrin Bradbury 
• "The Martha's Vineyard Beach and Book Club" by Martha Hall Kelly 
• "Bad Company" by Megan Greenwell 
• "Values" by Mark Carney 
• "Sucker Punch" by Scaachi Koul
• "The Last Secret Agent" by Pippa Latour & Jude Dobson 
• "Austen at Sea" by Natalie Jenner 
• "Burn Book" by Kara Swisher 
• "What Kind of Paradise" by Janelle Brown 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** 

Watching: 

• "American Prince," a three-part documentary series about John F. Kennedy Jr. on CNN this month. 
• I wrote a bit about JFK Jr. and what he meant to me and the women of my generation (and reviewed two really good memoirs -- both written by childless women! -- that were about him, at least in part) in this post from 2011.  
• "The Thursday Murder Club" on Netflix, based on Richard Osman's bestseller and featuring an absolutely stellar cast. The book is better (of course), but as adaptations go, it's pretty great overall -- I loved it!   
• "The Marlow Murder Club" on PBS Masterpiece Mystery. The second season began on Aug. 24th and runs for six weeks (though Sept. 28th). I provided some thoughts on the first episode in my recent review of "Death Comes to Marlow" (which forms the basis of the first two episodes), here. 

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: Stats as of Aug. 31st:  
• Heardle 60s: 74.4% (763/1025, 302 on first guess), down 0.3% from last month. Max. streak: 15.
• Heardle 70s: 77.1% (590/765, 337 on first guess), up 0.7% from last month. Max. streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s: 40.1% (253/631, 93 on first guess), up 0.1% from last month. Max. streak: 5.
• Heardle 90s: 32.1% (234/730, 58 on first guess), up 0.4% from last month. Max. streak: 5. 
• NYT Connections:  
• By July 31st, I'd played 368 games and won 86% of them, including 189 "perfect puzzles," including 8 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (unchanged from last month).  Maximum winning streak:  45.  Current streak: 7. 
•  By Aug. 31st, I'd completed 398 games and won 87% of them, including 205 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, including 9 where I got the most difficult/purple category first.  Maximum winning streak: 45 (unchanged). Current streak:  0. 

Following:  

• 
  

Eating/Drinking:  

• As I've mentioned before, we achieved our goal of lowering our cholesterol levels in late January, after less-than-stellar bloodwork last fall earned us both serious chats with our family doctor -- and we've been trying to maintain/improve on those numbers (and lose/keep off some extra pounds) since then, by continuing to eat healthier and move at least a little more.    
• This goal has taken a bit of a hit over the summer -- as weight loss efforts often do.  While you might be out and about more and at least a little more active, you're also likely socializing and eating out more! (a few examples of that below...!) 
• I ended the month 0.2 pounds lighter than when it began. (I'll take it...!  lol)  Overall, I'm down almost 12 pounds since our chat with the doctor last October (dh has lost more than 18), and almost 24 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight a few years ago. 
• We'll be seeing our family dr again for checkups (and, I'm sure, more bloodwork!) in late October -- so we need to start getting back on track again soon...! 
• BIL barbecued hamburgers and sausages for Younger Nephew's birthday on Aug. 3rd, served with corn on the cob, bean salad, macaroni salad -- and cake, of course! (chocolate)  SIL sent us home with a huge chunk. (Yes, we ate it, despite the diet...! It yielded three generous pieces -- we each had one piece one day, and shared the third on another.)  
• We had chicken caesar wraps for lunch back in our old community on Katie's "anniversary" day (Aug. 7th), indulged with Starbucks while browsing at the local mega-bookstore there (grande London Fog tea latte for me) and wrapped up the day with Blizzards at Dairy Queen (tradition!). 
• The food at the family wedding we attended on Aug. 9th was very good:  we'd been asked to communicate any special dietary requests and indicate a choice of chicken, beef or salmon when we RSVPd. I had the chicken (which came with mushroom risotto and veggies);  dh had the beef ribs. There was also a lovely salad, creme brulee for dessert, an antipasto/appetizer bar before dinner, and a late night dessert table and sliders, plus an open bar. 
• Not just one but two trips to Dairy Queen for Blizzards this month! -- once on Aug. 7th to celebrate our Katie, and once on Monday, Aug. 18th, as a consolation when we went to the gelato shop one Monday afternoon, only to find it's closed on Mondays (!).  (And then we went back to the gelato shop on Sunday, Aug. 24th, lol.) 
• Also some of our usual takeout meals, including soup & pizza slices from the local supermarket takeout counter (we actually had pizza slices in-house one day -- the first time we'd done that since the pandemic began), and Swiss Chalet rotisserie chicken. 

Wearing: Enjoying my capris and sandals (and shorts) while I still can/could...!  Had to put on long jeans, socks, shoes and a jacket when we went to the park with SIL & LGNiece on the morning of Aug. 29th -- it was sunny but quite cool! (Overnight lows were in the 7-9C range/40sF.) 

After much dithering (here on this blog and elsewhere, lol), I wound up wearing the floral print dress to dh's cousin's son's wedding on Aug. 9th.

Buying (besides books, lol): 

• Canadian products (or from Canadian companies), as much as possible ;) -- albeit I will admit I'm not as much of a purist as some people seem to be...!    
• Some cute things for the great-niblings (on sale), from Old Navy, Carters/Oshkosh and The Children's Place. 
• Not exactly "buying," but our major expense this month was some plumbing repairs we'd been procrastinating on having done! (See "This month we...", above.)  One item on our to-do list in particular turned out to be a lot more involved than we (or they!) had estimated. GULP. Expensive both in terms of money and STRESS! 

Prioritizing: This week: Reviewing our retiree benefits coverage before it rolls over.  

Noticing: Increasing stiffness/aches in my right hip/upper thigh, along with my long-wonky left knee.  :p  Ugh. (Aren't I too young for this crap??)  

Enjoying/Appreciating:  The sunshine and the lack of humidity (even if the temperatures are a little on the cool side...!). 

Loving: Having a dry/drip-free tile floor in the shower! (after those expensive plumbing repairs) -- no more (or at least LESS!) mildew to scrub constantly...!  

Wondering:  Where the summer went to?? (Seriously...) 

Anticipating:  A busy September, including our annual cottage weekend with dh's cousins.  

Trying/Wanting/Hoping:  To squeeze in some time for a fall getaway in September/October (as the calendar rapidly fills up...!). 

                              

Feeling: A lot of stress, anxiety and grief this month -- 27 years without Katie, watching her same-age 2nd cousin getting married, trying to decide what dress to wear (lol), trying to find time for a getaway SOMEWHERE and fit it into an increasingly crowded calendar, dealing with plumbing issues... Agog at how quickly the summer (and the whole year so far!) has gone by, and how abruptly we transitioned from chilly spring weather in May to extreme heat, humidity and wildfire smoke, and then back to cooler (and then chilly!) weather again...!