Mrs. Spit was commenting today on the dearth of blogs for women in her (& my) specific situation -- living childless/free after loss (&/or infertility). I already had a general ALI community blogroll here, based on my Google reader, a blogroll of a few childfree by choice blogs, and a list of relevant websites & other resources, and I had updated some of these features when I revamped my blog design a few weeks ago.
But I hadn't taken the time to carve out a special space for my childless/free not-by-first-choice peeps (although they're there, lurking within the general ALI blogroll). And so, taking the hint (thank you, Mrs. Spit, for lighting a fire under me), I’ve added a new blogroll specifically for childless/free not by choice bloggers -- scroll down & check it out.
Sadly, well over half the list is currently not active -- some of these blogs have been dormant for years -- but I’ve included them anyway since there’s still some good reading in there (and, once in a great while, a new post pops up from one of these women).
If you are on the list -- but don't consider yourself as living childless/free or done with infertility treatments, my apologies. Please let me know and I'll remove your name (although I would love to keep it on my general ALI blogroll). If you're not on the list, but think you should be, let me know that too. (And consider popping over to Stirrup Queens.com and asking Melissa to add you to her fabulous, humungous, categorized blogroll as well -- it really is the go-to resource for the ALI community.)
Happy reading! : )
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
New Year odds & ends
- 2012, eek. As one of my university friends commented on Facebook, "Wasn't it just 2000?"
- The Toronto Star has begun a weeklong series on "Motherhood After 40" that I thought might be of interest to some of you. Here's a link to the first story from today. There are no comments... yet!
- Back to work tomorrow (boo, hiss...), after 17 days away (but only 8 of them actual vacation days -- not bad, eh?). It's been a really good holiday. : )
- We went into the city on the afternoon of New Year's Eve for a matinee performance of the Broadway touring production of Hair. I was 7 in 1968, when the play originally debuted, & grew up singing & listening to songs like "Good Morning Starshine," "Aquarius/Let the Sun Shine" and "Hair." Memory flash: My figure skating class skated to "Hair" in the carnival of 1973, when I was 12. We all wore jeans, turtlenecks under vests, love beads, & shaggy wigs that our mothers made by pulling lengths of yarn through the bottom of a pair of pantihose, lol. And the grand finale that year was skated to Three Dog Night's "Joy to the World."
- I had never seen the play before. I saw the movie about 30 years ago, when I was in university (starring Treat Williams as Berger and Beverly D'Angelo as Sheila), but couldn't remember much except the ending. Which, as it turns out, was very different from the play.
- Overall, the play was really good & we both enjoyed it. The key role of Claude was played by an understudy, but I thought he was wonderful. I'm sure the play was considered quite shocking when it first came out in 1968, & the ending still packs a wallop today -- particularly in light of Iraq, Afghanistan, etc. Yes, I had to find a Kleenex.
- My one quibble is that the kids onstage looked way too cleancut to be hippies, lol. Dh can remember being on Yonge Street in Toronto in the late 60s/early 70s (which was sort of the Haight-Ashbury of Canada at the time), & says they were filthy, lol. At the very end of Act I, everyone strips down to their birthday suits (something the play is famous for) & although it was sort of dimly lit, I couldn't help but notice how many of the actors seemed to have had extensive waxing done (guys too) which was certainly not very '60s. I mean, it's called HAIR, people, lol.
- After the play, I had made dinner reservations at our favourite go-to restaurant, where dh had pasta & I enjoyed a delicious steak. And then we headed home, watched "Animal House" on TV for the umpteenth time, & actually managed to stay awake until midnight, lol.
- Seeing "Animal House" reminded me of one of my all-time favourite New Year's Eve parties. It was New Year's Eve 1979-80 (32 years ago, eeek) -- I was home from first-year university, & "Animal House" had made toga parties all the rage. One our friends had the brilliant idea of a New Year's Eve toga party. (Picture my sister walking in to the local beer vendor to buy some supplies, clad in a toga, lol.) I have lost touch with many of those people over the years, but I still cherish the slightly fuzzy group snapshot of all of us, clad in our togas, raising our glasses to a new year and a new decade. Ahh, youth... (I went to several toga parties at university, too.)
- Went to dinner at FIL's yesterday, & to see "Sherlock Holmes 2" today -- great fun!
- How was your New Year's Eve?
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Holiday reading
As I mentioned in a previous post, I didn't read quite as many books as I normally do when I'm on holidays... having The Princess around every day cut into my reading time significantly. (Not that I'm complaining, mind you, lol.) Nevertheless, I did finish off one novel, read a second, & get most of the way through a third book.
I can't remember if I saw The Sherlockian by Graham Moore in the bookstore first, or read a review about it & was intrigued. Anyway, I love mysteries, & while I will confess to never having read anything by Arthur Conan Doyle, I have seen my share of Sherlock Holmes movies & TV shows, including the classic BBC TV series from the 1980s starring Jeremy Brett, the new movies starring the charismatic duo of Robert Downey Jr. & Jude Law, and the new BBC TV series with Benedict Cumberbatch (what a great name...) and Martin Freeman as a modern-day Holmes & Watson, who use the Internet & cellphones as well as their brains to solve cases.
So I picked up "The Sherlockian" awhile back & finally got around to reading it, starting just before I went on vacation & finishing while I was still at Mom & Dad's. The plot is fiction, but based in historical fact, alternating between Arthur Conan Doyle trying to solve a mystery in the late 1890s and early 1900s, and a modern-day Sherlock Holmes buff named Harold, who gets caught up in the investigation of a murder at a Sherlock Holmes convention. The common thread is a certain volume of Conan Doyle's diary from 1900, which mysteriously went missing and remains unfound to this day (fact). The murder near the book's beginning is also loosely based in fact, which adds to the intrigue.
The book has been well received. I liked it. It wasn't the best book I read all year -- but it was fun, & I wound up learning a lot about Sherlock Holmes and his creator. (Example: Would you believe one of Conan Doyle's best friends was Bram Stoker -- the creator of another memorable fictional character, Dracula?)
About a year ago, I picked up a novel I kept seeing on the store shelves, called The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley -- a murder mystery set in post-war 1950s England, and featuring a precocious 11-year-old protagonist with a penchant for poison, by the intriguing name of Flavia de Luce. Within just a few pages, I was hooked. Over the past year, I've read two more Flavia mysteries, and happily, a fourth was published just before Christmas.
Appropriately, I Am Half-Sick of Shadows is set at Christmastime. Sadly, Flavia's family has fallen on hard times -- the family silver was sent to auction in a previous book -- and Flavia's father has leased the family's crumbling mansion, Buckshaw, to a film company for a movie shoot, in a desperate attempt to stave off insolvency for awhile longer. The two stars of the movie agree to stage a benefit performance at Buckshaw. Most of the villagers attend and, conveniently, get snowed in by a blizzard. While they are trapped in the big house together, there is (of course!) a murder, and Flavia goes to work trying to untangle the mystery and identify the killer. Meanwhile, she is determined to solve an even bigger mystery: whether Father Christmas (Santa Claus) is real, and how he gets down the chimney.
I guess you can tell that I adore Flavia, & I think you might too. Each book builds on the next one, so I would recommend that you to begin with the first book, Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, and move to the other books from there.
The third book I began while I was on vacation was Closure by Nancy Berns, which I heard about a few weeks ago & blogged about here. I am almost finished & will have a separate review soon!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Year in Review 2011
I enjoyed doing this year-end meme so much at New Year's last year that I decided to do it again this year. Interesting to see what's changed (& what hasn't!). Feel free to use on your own blog (& let me know if you do!).
1. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
As I said last year, I generally don't make new year's resolutions anymore -- they tend to be pretty much the same, year after year (erk):
Nothing comes to mind at the moment. I have to admit I'm not a terribly adventurous person.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, PND had a little girl in September. : )
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully (& knocking wood), not close-close. However, dh's uncle passed away of a massive heart attack in July. He was only 70. The wife of one of dh's cousins also lost her mom earlier in the year -- also of a heart attack, also in her early 70s. Both of my parents are also in their early 70s, so this is starting to get a little too close for comfort. :(
5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't leave Canada this year.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Last year, I said: More time (& energy) to get more things done. :p A sunspot vacation. : ) A greater sense of self-confidence. I'd go with those again this year.
7. What date(s) from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My 50th birthday (Jan. 12th), for obvious reasons. : ) My 25th anniversary at work (Aug. 11th). I don't remember the exact date, but dh & I met 30 years ago in late September/early October (1981). And a very merry Christmas with PNGD/The Princess. : )
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving ANOTHER busy, turbulent year at work, including ANOTHER new senior manager (second one in less than a year, after 16 years of working with the same person), new director (similar story), new VP, more new (& mostly much younger) coworkers, and an office renovation, which involved purging & packing up all my stuff, TWICE.
And, despite all this, reaching my 25th anniversary, not just with the company but also with the department. I'd say that's an achievement. ; )
9. What was your biggest failure?
As I wrote last year: So many things that needed to be done around the house -- projects both large & small -- remain untouched. Also, I did not lose any meaningful amount of weight, & I had really hoped to be in better shape before I hit 50. :p
I also did not get any scrapbooking done, again. :( However, there's a Michaels opening near me soon. Maybe that will be the incentive I need. ; )
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing serious, thankfully. I did have the first significant sore throat/cold that I've had in quite a long time -- over Christmas, of course. :p And my knees are feeling a tad creakier than they used to. :p Knock wood, & thanks to a careful strategy of avoidance, I have not had any problems with my allergies (food or otherwise) in a long time.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A netbook for dh for Christmas. : )
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
The first person who popped into my head is Olivia Chow, widow of Jack Layton and NDP member of Parliament. I haven't always been a big fan of hers, but I thought she showed great poise and dignity in the public eye at a very difficult time.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I continue to be less than impressed by the vast majority of politicians on both sides of the border, federal, provincial and municipal, and spanning the political spectrum. We had both federal & provincial elections this year (& municipal elections in late 2010), & then of course there's the neverending U.S. presidential election (how many debates do the Republican candidates need to have??).
I also second my comment last year about the ignorant commenters on any newspaper column dealing with infertility, who think we should all get over ourselves and "just adopt." This includes the heartless and appalling commenters who felt the need to judge Michelle Duggar and how the family handled the loss of their 21st child. I'm not a fan of the Duggars -- their hyperfertility seems like a slap in the face (however inadvertent) to those of us who struggle with bringing even just one living, healthy baby home -- but a loss is a loss, whether it's your first child or 21st.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Beyond the essentials of daily living, and savings, our biggest indulgence is probably reading materials -- books & magazines. We didn't do any major projects around the house this year (although we probably should have...). No, wait, we did hire stepBIL to reset one side of the backyard fence (the other side was done a few years ago). It was leaning horribly & just about ready to topple over, & neither dh nor I were keen to have the neighbours' two rambunctious dogs using our back yard as their bathroom. :p
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
PNGD/The Princess. : ) And, I have to admit, I did get excited about my 50th birthday & 25th work anniversary. Whatever you think about aging, it's still a milestone.
16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
"Rolling in the Deep" & "Someone Like You" by Adele.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
(a) happier, I think. (b) probably more or less the same :p (c) slightly richer, thanks to some diligent saving and investing (even accounting for market decline).
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Scrapbooking. Reading. Theatre. Taken more time off work. I have a ton of unused vacation & lieu time, & I didn't even use all my personal days this year.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Saying stuff that I knew would make me look ancient in the eyes of my 20-something coworkers. Sometimes I just can't help myself, though. ; ) And working through my lunch hours. I feel so much better when I get away from my desk for awhile.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
In Manitoba with my family (my parents, sister & her boyfriend). Mesmerized by The Princess. ; ) Reading a few books, enjoying Mom's shortbread, playing cards & dominos. Sleeping in. Isn't that what holidays are for?
21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes -- with PNGD/The Princess. : ) And with Burnt Sugar Fudge, lol. ; )
22. What was your favorite TV program?
My favourite continues to be The Big Bang Theory. : )
23. Do you hate anyone now that you did not hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word... nobody comes to mind immediately.
24. What was the best book you read?
I read quite a few good ones this year -- 21 (22 if I can finish the one I'm reading right now by midnight, lol). I read three of the four Flavia de Luce books by Alan Bradley (read the first one, The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, a year ago LAST Christmas) & love them all. And I really did enjoy The Help.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Adele. (See #16, above.) Love her big, soulful voice!
26. What did you want and get?
More charms for my Pandora bracelet (from dh for Christmas). : ) And a new bedspread for the spare bedroom.
27. What did you want and not get?
A sunspot vacation (again). My parents are hoping to spend a month in Florida this winter, though, & if they do and have the room, we may go visit them there. : ) I've promised dh a visit to Cape Canaveral as incentive. ; )
I didn't get the new everyday dishes I've been hankering after (which I mentioned in last year's post) this year either. (I have a pattern in mind & am watching for sales!)
Tickets to American Idiot. It's only on for a few weeks, the theatre is in north Toronto (not as convenient as downtown), & you have to buy tickets for at least THREE productions at the same theatre, even if you're really only interested in (or can afford) one show. :p Bah humbug.
28. What was your favourite film of this year?
We saw a dozen new movies in the theatre this year, which is actually on the low side for us. The vast majority of them were very good. Hard to pick a favourite, but two that come to mind that I really enjoyed were "The Help" and "Midnight in Paris." We're both big Woody Allen fans from way back, & this was probably one of his better movies in many years.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 50 (erk!). I spent the day at the spa, & dh took me out for dinner later. And I blogged about it, here.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less stress & upheaval at work. I felt like I was just getting used to my new boss when she quit in March, just nine months after she started. On the bright side, her replacement is a former coworker (albeit a much younger one, whom I used to mentor when she was a summer student...!). Things finally seem to be settling into a more even keel. Knock wood...
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
As I said in 2010, not sure I have one, let alone a new one every year?? I did buy a lot of new clothes -- capris with tanks worn under cardigans for work (in the summer -- definitely not in winter, lol). I bought several new cardigans, both winter & summer style. I like to look nice, but I definitely favour comfort over trendiness as a rule. Lots of Reitmans, Gap and some Laura & Cleo thrown in. ; )
32. What kept you sane?
Again, as I said last year: dh, weekends, & being able to vent to my online friends. : ) And knowing that retirement could be just four more years away. ; )
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ditto the above comments about Olivia Chow, and her late husband, who went from one battle (political) to another (cancer) & was gone in a shockingly short period of time.
Kate Middleton, for showing grace under extreme pressure, and choosing a classic & classy gown for her wedding. And her grandmother-in-law, who is 85 & will mark 60 years on the throne next year, and is still going strong.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Occupy movement didn't make too much of a splash locally, but they had my sympathy, even though I work for one of the institutions they love to target. I'm also concerned about the growing secrecy & concentration of power in our Prime Minister's Office. Democracy is not being well served.
35. Who did you miss?
As always, my daughter, and my grandparents.
Our nephews. Being 19 & 23, they like to spend their spare time with their friends, so we don't get to see as much of them as we used to.
Our friends from our support group.
Last year, I said I missed my college roommate, but happily, had been able to reconnect with heer for lunch last November (2010). Sadly, I haven't seen nor heard from her since then (although I have called her & left messages on her birthday & a couple of other times).
36. Who was the best new person you met?
One of my coworkers. Technically, I met her when she joined our department in November 2010, but this was her first full year working for us. She is young (just turned 26), full of energy & enthusiasm and questions. Her mother is a year older than me (!!!). She makes me feel ancient sometimes, but she also makes me smile.
I also got to meet Deathstar this summer, in person -- but I felt like I already knew her from her blog. ; )
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Stressing out isn't worth it (no matter what the stressing is about). It's a lesson I've had to learn before... but it seems I have to keep releaning it. :p
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Can't think of one offhand.
New Year's Eve 2007
New Year's Eve 2008
New Year's resolutions for 2009
New Year's resolutions for bereaved parents
New Year's Eve 2009
1. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
As I said last year, I generally don't make new year's resolutions anymore -- they tend to be pretty much the same, year after year (erk):
- Lose weight. (sigh)
- Exercise more. (And hopefully lose more weight...!) -- sadly, did no better in 2011 than 2010. :p
- Write more in my journal (blog??). Didn't write in my paper journal at all. Blogging: at xx posts (including this one), I didn't quite equal the 131 posts from 2010, but still, not bad...
- Read more of the books that have piled up around the house. (Need to do better at this... the faster I read, the more I buy, it seems... yikes!) Read ## books this year... but still nowhere near keeping up. :p
- Tackle some of the clutter that never seems to go away. ("Some" being the operative word...) I did make some leeway here... took some old suitcases & several boxes of old dishes, glasses, vases, etc. to Goodwill this fall. Of course, there's always scope to do more....!
- Finally do something with the spare bedroom that was to have been the nursery (get new furniture & linens to replace the old castoffs). I did get a new bedding set earlier this (ADD LINK), but still have the old furniture.
- Set aside the nephews' scrapbooks for awhile, & start a scrapbook for dh & me (that will hopefully be finished in time for our 25th anniversary in 2010). And maybe (finally) start Katie's, too. Very little scrapbooking done this year too.
Nothing comes to mind at the moment. I have to admit I'm not a terribly adventurous person.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, PND had a little girl in September. : )
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully (& knocking wood), not close-close. However, dh's uncle passed away of a massive heart attack in July. He was only 70. The wife of one of dh's cousins also lost her mom earlier in the year -- also of a heart attack, also in her early 70s. Both of my parents are also in their early 70s, so this is starting to get a little too close for comfort. :(
5. What countries did you visit?
I didn't leave Canada this year.
6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Last year, I said: More time (& energy) to get more things done. :p A sunspot vacation. : ) A greater sense of self-confidence. I'd go with those again this year.
7. What date(s) from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My 50th birthday (Jan. 12th), for obvious reasons. : ) My 25th anniversary at work (Aug. 11th). I don't remember the exact date, but dh & I met 30 years ago in late September/early October (1981). And a very merry Christmas with PNGD/The Princess. : )
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving ANOTHER busy, turbulent year at work, including ANOTHER new senior manager (second one in less than a year, after 16 years of working with the same person), new director (similar story), new VP, more new (& mostly much younger) coworkers, and an office renovation, which involved purging & packing up all my stuff, TWICE.
And, despite all this, reaching my 25th anniversary, not just with the company but also with the department. I'd say that's an achievement. ; )
9. What was your biggest failure?
As I wrote last year: So many things that needed to be done around the house -- projects both large & small -- remain untouched. Also, I did not lose any meaningful amount of weight, & I had really hoped to be in better shape before I hit 50. :p
I also did not get any scrapbooking done, again. :( However, there's a Michaels opening near me soon. Maybe that will be the incentive I need. ; )
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing serious, thankfully. I did have the first significant sore throat/cold that I've had in quite a long time -- over Christmas, of course. :p And my knees are feeling a tad creakier than they used to. :p Knock wood, & thanks to a careful strategy of avoidance, I have not had any problems with my allergies (food or otherwise) in a long time.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A netbook for dh for Christmas. : )
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
The first person who popped into my head is Olivia Chow, widow of Jack Layton and NDP member of Parliament. I haven't always been a big fan of hers, but I thought she showed great poise and dignity in the public eye at a very difficult time.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
I continue to be less than impressed by the vast majority of politicians on both sides of the border, federal, provincial and municipal, and spanning the political spectrum. We had both federal & provincial elections this year (& municipal elections in late 2010), & then of course there's the neverending U.S. presidential election (how many debates do the Republican candidates need to have??).
I also second my comment last year about the ignorant commenters on any newspaper column dealing with infertility, who think we should all get over ourselves and "just adopt." This includes the heartless and appalling commenters who felt the need to judge Michelle Duggar and how the family handled the loss of their 21st child. I'm not a fan of the Duggars -- their hyperfertility seems like a slap in the face (however inadvertent) to those of us who struggle with bringing even just one living, healthy baby home -- but a loss is a loss, whether it's your first child or 21st.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Beyond the essentials of daily living, and savings, our biggest indulgence is probably reading materials -- books & magazines. We didn't do any major projects around the house this year (although we probably should have...). No, wait, we did hire stepBIL to reset one side of the backyard fence (the other side was done a few years ago). It was leaning horribly & just about ready to topple over, & neither dh nor I were keen to have the neighbours' two rambunctious dogs using our back yard as their bathroom. :p
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
PNGD/The Princess. : ) And, I have to admit, I did get excited about my 50th birthday & 25th work anniversary. Whatever you think about aging, it's still a milestone.
16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
"Rolling in the Deep" & "Someone Like You" by Adele.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
(a) happier, I think. (b) probably more or less the same :p (c) slightly richer, thanks to some diligent saving and investing (even accounting for market decline).
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Scrapbooking. Reading. Theatre. Taken more time off work. I have a ton of unused vacation & lieu time, & I didn't even use all my personal days this year.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Saying stuff that I knew would make me look ancient in the eyes of my 20-something coworkers. Sometimes I just can't help myself, though. ; ) And working through my lunch hours. I feel so much better when I get away from my desk for awhile.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
In Manitoba with my family (my parents, sister & her boyfriend). Mesmerized by The Princess. ; ) Reading a few books, enjoying Mom's shortbread, playing cards & dominos. Sleeping in. Isn't that what holidays are for?
21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes -- with PNGD/The Princess. : ) And with Burnt Sugar Fudge, lol. ; )
22. What was your favorite TV program?
My favourite continues to be The Big Bang Theory. : )
23. Do you hate anyone now that you did not hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word... nobody comes to mind immediately.
24. What was the best book you read?
I read quite a few good ones this year -- 21 (22 if I can finish the one I'm reading right now by midnight, lol). I read three of the four Flavia de Luce books by Alan Bradley (read the first one, The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, a year ago LAST Christmas) & love them all. And I really did enjoy The Help.
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Adele. (See #16, above.) Love her big, soulful voice!
26. What did you want and get?
More charms for my Pandora bracelet (from dh for Christmas). : ) And a new bedspread for the spare bedroom.
27. What did you want and not get?
A sunspot vacation (again). My parents are hoping to spend a month in Florida this winter, though, & if they do and have the room, we may go visit them there. : ) I've promised dh a visit to Cape Canaveral as incentive. ; )
I didn't get the new everyday dishes I've been hankering after (which I mentioned in last year's post) this year either. (I have a pattern in mind & am watching for sales!)
Tickets to American Idiot. It's only on for a few weeks, the theatre is in north Toronto (not as convenient as downtown), & you have to buy tickets for at least THREE productions at the same theatre, even if you're really only interested in (or can afford) one show. :p Bah humbug.
28. What was your favourite film of this year?
We saw a dozen new movies in the theatre this year, which is actually on the low side for us. The vast majority of them were very good. Hard to pick a favourite, but two that come to mind that I really enjoyed were "The Help" and "Midnight in Paris." We're both big Woody Allen fans from way back, & this was probably one of his better movies in many years.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 50 (erk!). I spent the day at the spa, & dh took me out for dinner later. And I blogged about it, here.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less stress & upheaval at work. I felt like I was just getting used to my new boss when she quit in March, just nine months after she started. On the bright side, her replacement is a former coworker (albeit a much younger one, whom I used to mentor when she was a summer student...!). Things finally seem to be settling into a more even keel. Knock wood...
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
As I said in 2010, not sure I have one, let alone a new one every year?? I did buy a lot of new clothes -- capris with tanks worn under cardigans for work (in the summer -- definitely not in winter, lol). I bought several new cardigans, both winter & summer style. I like to look nice, but I definitely favour comfort over trendiness as a rule. Lots of Reitmans, Gap and some Laura & Cleo thrown in. ; )
32. What kept you sane?
Again, as I said last year: dh, weekends, & being able to vent to my online friends. : ) And knowing that retirement could be just four more years away. ; )
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Ditto the above comments about Olivia Chow, and her late husband, who went from one battle (political) to another (cancer) & was gone in a shockingly short period of time.
Kate Middleton, for showing grace under extreme pressure, and choosing a classic & classy gown for her wedding. And her grandmother-in-law, who is 85 & will mark 60 years on the throne next year, and is still going strong.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The Occupy movement didn't make too much of a splash locally, but they had my sympathy, even though I work for one of the institutions they love to target. I'm also concerned about the growing secrecy & concentration of power in our Prime Minister's Office. Democracy is not being well served.
35. Who did you miss?
As always, my daughter, and my grandparents.
Our nephews. Being 19 & 23, they like to spend their spare time with their friends, so we don't get to see as much of them as we used to.
Our friends from our support group.
Last year, I said I missed my college roommate, but happily, had been able to reconnect with heer for lunch last November (2010). Sadly, I haven't seen nor heard from her since then (although I have called her & left messages on her birthday & a couple of other times).
36. Who was the best new person you met?
One of my coworkers. Technically, I met her when she joined our department in November 2010, but this was her first full year working for us. She is young (just turned 26), full of energy & enthusiasm and questions. Her mother is a year older than me (!!!). She makes me feel ancient sometimes, but she also makes me smile.
I also got to meet Deathstar this summer, in person -- but I felt like I already knew her from her blog. ; )
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Stressing out isn't worth it (no matter what the stressing is about). It's a lesson I've had to learn before... but it seems I have to keep releaning it. :p
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Can't think of one offhand.
New Year's Eve 2007
New Year's Eve 2008
New Year's resolutions for 2009
New Year's resolutions for bereaved parents
New Year's Eve 2009
Friday, December 30, 2011
Post-Christmas odds & ends
- I had a great Christmas. : ) One of the best in years.
- A big part of it, of course, was The Princess/PNGD. Her mom (PND) generously brought her over to visit every single day we were there -- & the one day she didn't (because we went out of town shopping), we stopped in en route back to visit her and to see her nursery. She's a very good baby, even with half a dozen strange adults passing her around and hovering over her and keeping her up late and off schedule. If she started fussing a little, it was usually because she was needed a nap, feeding or changing, and quickly resumed her smiles and coos.
- I finished off one photo memory card, completely filled up a second and started a third. I haven't counted (I'm a little afraid to...) but I think I took well over 400 photos -- most of them of the Princess. Erk.
- Let me be clear -- I very much doubt I could have taken so much pleasure in The Princess's presence, or written my previous post, a year or two years or even five years out from Katie's stillbirth. Time and aging don't erase the hurt, of course, but they do bring a certain level of acceptance and perspective. I'm glad.
- I was also happy that I was able to completely surprise dh with his own netbook (bought & set up by my sister's tech guru boyfriend).
- Of course I had an ulterior motive: now he doesn't have to share my laptop, lol.
- He's even asked me to help set him up on Facebook. What have I done?? lol
- Dh went back to work on Wednesday, but I am still off until Tuesday (woohoo). I have been puttering around the house, unpacking, doing laundry & cleaning, updating my calendar for 2012, working on my family tree, catching up on blog reading & commenting. I could get used to this... is this what retirement is like? (Although retirement will have to be slightly more active... I will admit I am feeling just a tad couch potato-ish.)
- With all the distractions provided by The Princess, I didn't get to read quite as much as I usually do while I'm on vacation... but I did finish off one book, completely read another, & am currently on a third. I will be providing reviews shortly -- particularly once I finish my current book, Closure: The Rush to End Grief and What it Costs Us by Nancy Berns, which I mentioned in another recent post.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
All hail The Princess!
The Princess lays on a blanket in the middle of the living room floor, kicking her legs, waving her arms, cooing & drooling adorably, surveying her loyal subjects with wide blue eyes. All other activity comes to a stop when she enters the room. Seated around her, half a dozen adults watch her every movement in fascination.
Thirteen years ago, I called my mother to tell her I was pregnant, and due in November. "A baby for Christmas!!" my mother exclaimed happily.
Sadly, there was no baby in the house for Christmas that year. Or any Christmas since then.
Until now.
It's Christmas again. And there's a baby in the house.
No, not MY baby. Sadly, that will never be.
But perhaps the next best thing: PND, who has spent part of every Christmas at my parents' house since SHE was a baby, is generously sharing her 3.5-month-old daughter (PNGD/The Princess) with us. She has brought the baby over to visit every day since we've been here, and she, her husband and The Princess will be spending Christmas Eve with us.
There are, as usual, lots of presents under the tree. We giggle as we count how many of them are for The Princess (with more in the bedroom closet, waiting to be wrapped).
Does it hurt? A little. I'd be lying if I said it didn't. The hardest part? dh & I agree: watching my childfree by choice sister, who never shows too much excitement about anything, gleefully showing me the Santa suit (complete with hat) that she's bought -- holding The Princess in her lap, bouncing her up & down, smiling and talking baby talk to her. It is easy to envision the kind of proud, doting auntie she would have been.
But there is happiness, too. For all that I detest the idea that "Christmas is for kids," having one in the house adds a special dimension of joy to the celebrations --the continuity, the traditions -- especially when we've been without children in the house for so long. We have been so fortunate to have PND with us all these years, of course -- but when she was little, dh & I fully expected we would have our own children to celebrate with... someday.
Which is why it is extra-special to have The Princess with us this year. We'd be appreciative of any baby, of course, but being PND's daughter just adds to the specialness.
It's Christmas. And there's a baby in the house. At last.
Thirteen years ago, I called my mother to tell her I was pregnant, and due in November. "A baby for Christmas!!" my mother exclaimed happily.
Sadly, there was no baby in the house for Christmas that year. Or any Christmas since then.
Until now.
It's Christmas again. And there's a baby in the house.
No, not MY baby. Sadly, that will never be.
But perhaps the next best thing: PND, who has spent part of every Christmas at my parents' house since SHE was a baby, is generously sharing her 3.5-month-old daughter (PNGD/The Princess) with us. She has brought the baby over to visit every day since we've been here, and she, her husband and The Princess will be spending Christmas Eve with us.
There are, as usual, lots of presents under the tree. We giggle as we count how many of them are for The Princess (with more in the bedroom closet, waiting to be wrapped).
Does it hurt? A little. I'd be lying if I said it didn't. The hardest part? dh & I agree: watching my childfree by choice sister, who never shows too much excitement about anything, gleefully showing me the Santa suit (complete with hat) that she's bought -- holding The Princess in her lap, bouncing her up & down, smiling and talking baby talk to her. It is easy to envision the kind of proud, doting auntie she would have been.
But there is happiness, too. For all that I detest the idea that "Christmas is for kids," having one in the house adds a special dimension of joy to the celebrations --the continuity, the traditions -- especially when we've been without children in the house for so long. We have been so fortunate to have PND with us all these years, of course -- but when she was little, dh & I fully expected we would have our own children to celebrate with... someday.
Which is why it is extra-special to have The Princess with us this year. We'd be appreciative of any baby, of course, but being PND's daughter just adds to the specialness.
It's Christmas. And there's a baby in the house. At last.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Seriously??!
Anybody who denies this culture is seriously pregnancy & baby crazed needs to read this:
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