Great expectations :)

(Trigger alert: pregnancy mentioned.)

(No, DEFINITELY not mine!!) 

It was a Wednesday morning in early March when I got out of bed, turned on my cellphone, and my app notifications began popping up.

One of them, from Pinterest, stopped me dead in my tracks.

It said A. (Older Nephew's wife) has created a new board.

And the title of that board?

"BABY"

!!!!!!!!!!!!

When dh finally woke up, I told him,"I have something to show you -- but you CANNOT tell your brother!" (A.'s FIL) And then I showed him -- and he woke up in a hurry, lol.

"She's pregnant??"  he said.

"Well, if she's NOT pregnant, she's definitely showing a sudden interest in the subject," I said.  (Believe me, I have learned NEVER to assume someone is pregnant unless (a) they tell you themselves or (b) you actually see the baby emerging from their vagina. ;)  )

That Saturday, we went to BIL's. Older Nephew & A. live in a small apartment in the basement, and dh went downstairs to say hello & see if the dog could come upstairs to play ;)  -- and we heard a lot of loud voices & laughter, and then they all came upstairs.

BIL:  You told him!!

Dh: We already knew!

And in that moment, I knew exactly what they were referring to. :)

When dh arrived at their door downstairs, Older Nephew started giggling & said to his wife, "Should we tell him?"  (NONE of the men in that family, my late FIL included, can keep a secret to save their life...!). Dh said, "We already know!"

A. was shocked that I found out via Pinterest notification... check your privacy settings, kids! ;)  Another clue: We'd noticed a dearth of the usual phone calls from BIL lately -- he & dh usually talk a couple of times during the week, and he admitted he hadn't been calling because he was afraid he'd spill the beans.

Anyway, I have been dying to spill the news here (& elsewhere) myself, but we were initially sworn to secrecy, since it was still very early on (the peestick was barely dry...), and she was experiencing a lot of cramping & nausea (which has since improved). I don't think anyone would have found out if I posted it here ;) but I wanted to respect their wishes.  And so, I didn't say anything to (hardly) anyone until they started sharing the news a little more widely. (They still haven't mentioned the pregnancy anywhere on social media -- so I haven't either -- but most of their extended families & close friends now know, so I felt "safe" finally posting about it here.)

Of course (given my own reproductive history), I am horribly nervous for them, for all the obvious reasons. I know too much NOT to be nervous.

Not to mention that -- get this -- her pregnancy is happening in the EXACT SAME TIME FRAME as my own, 21 years ago (and we all know how THAT turned out :( ). They went for an ultrasound at the end of March: there was a heartbeat (THANK GOD) & the pregnancy was dated at about 7 weeks. The due date they gave her? Nov. 15th. (Mine -- at least, the first one I was given -- was Nov. 14th.  OF COURSE.)

I am so happy for them.

I am SO terrified for them.

I am (I will admit) just a LITTLE annoyed with the universe about the timing of this pregnancy.  :p

I am sad that nobody else remembers the baby girl who should have been born in mid-November, 21 years ago. (I don't think the coincidence in timing even occurred to dh, until I mentioned it to him.)

But, nevertheless -- I am determined to be the greatest great-auntie that I can possibly be for this wee one. :)  I was lucky enough to have & know a plethora of wonderful great-aunties myself, growing up (although I knew some better than others). They are all gone now, bless them all, but they left an excellent example for me to follow. :)

Fingers (& everything else!) crossed that all continues to go well! (Even dh admits he is going to be a bundle of nerves, especially come August...)(Next big hump to get over:  her next ultrasound, scheduled for the first week of May, and blood tests. Good vibes, prayers & positive thoughts welcomed...!)

It's been a weird mixture of glee & grief for us these past few weeks. But for the most part, I'm very happy to say, the glee is winning. ;)  And, as a sign that I have come a LONG way in my grief journey (not to mention how thrilled we are with the news!),  we couldn't resist going shopping for just a FEW things for our new little great-niece or nephew-to-be. (With much, much more to come...!)  ;)

(Some of) what we bought for our new great-niece or nephew-to-be. :)
Would you believe I now have a Toys/BabiesRUs discount card??
(I never would have, 20 years ago...!)