As I was mulling over the subject of "coming out" as a childless person, and who we tell our stories to and why, Brooke had an interesting post about the book she is writing about Eliza (yay!), and the subject of self-promotion. Here's part of what she said (but do go over & read the whole post!):
A couple of years ago, I started looking into agents and publishers and what I discovered is that to publish nonfiction, they mostly want you to already have some kind of platform on social media.
Here's the thing, though: I don't want to be a public figure. I don't want to run social media like it's my job. I want to have private accounts, to accept followers I know, and to post photos of my toddler eating a hunk of cheese without second guessing whether it's the kind of content people want to see (of course it is, right? We're all here for the cheese content). I don't want strangers to DM me and criticize me/my kids/my parenting/my grief. I do not have thick enough skin for that nonsense.
So I started talking to a friend and fellow baby-loss mom about the process of self-publishing. I'll be honest: as someone who reads a lot and got my PhD in a profession that is known for the slogan "publish or perish" when it comes to academic publishing, my initial feelings about self-publishing were that it was a kind of failure. It was what you do when you can't really get published. But the thing about really getting published, especially nonfiction memoir books, is that it takes more than writing talent. It enormous effort, lots of rejection, and a willingness to market and brand yourself.
That last part is where I hit a wall. I don't want to sell my book. I don't want to market it or advertise it or ask people to pre-order it. I don't want to be a brand. I don't want that pressure. I just want to make it available.
I get this. I've always said that I blog first and foremost for myself. My blog is more of a "personal" blog than a "crusading" or promotional blog. As someone who will soon hit 60 (!) and who will mark her 13th (!!) blogoversary this month, I guess I now fall into what Gateway Women's Jody Day terms the "childless elders" segment of the childless-not-by-choice (CNBC) online community. I'm really happy to know that so many people have found my blog over the years and relate to it in some way -- that at least some of my posts resonate with them and have even helped them. It's been pretty amazing to have been among the first few women blogging about this CNBC life, and to watch our community grow and flourish. I'm floored by the numbers of younger women taking up the torch these days -- maybe not on blogs, but on platforms like Instagram and Twitter and on podcasts (I think podcasts are the blogs of 2020; it seems like everyone is starting one these days...!).
I love my blog; I'm so happy I've had it as an outlet for the past 13 years. I'm comfortable with it as a way of expressing myself and connecting with others who are childless not by choice -- and somehow, I keep finding things to write about. I reach out and comment on other people's blogs, if I think I have something to say, and I "like" & sometimes comment on CNBC social media posts. But as far as actively promoting/marketing my blog -- creating a "brand," building a "platform," trying to build an audience and monitoring my stats anxiously -- that's not me. I'm not knocking those of you who do any of those things; in fact, I admire you for putting in the time & effort and having the energy and the marketing savvy.
But, as I admitted in the comments to Brooke on her blog post, when it comes to self-promotion, I'm basically lazy, lol. I'm still not "out of the closet" enough to share my posts on my current (personal) social media accounts. Most of my "real life" family members & friends still don't know about my blog (although some of them know that I have "online friends"), and I'm still not comfortable sharing everything in it with them. I know some people keep separate accounts for for public/CNBC & personal stuff, but that seems like a lot of extra work to me (plus, I think I'd live in dread as to whether I accidentally posted content meant for one account on another!). I don't want to live by a posting schedule and then feel the pressure of writing to meet those deadlines (I did enough of that at work! lol). I like being able to write what I want, when I want, when the mood strikes me. I do try to take part in Mel's #MicroblogMondays, and to write a "Right Now" post at or near the first of each month, and reviews of the books I read, shortly after I finish them, but if they don't get done, or done exactly on time, it's not a big deal.
As Brooke said, "I don't want to be a public figure. I don't want to run social media like it's my job... I don't want to be a brand. I don't want that pressure. I just want to make it available." -- "it" in her case being her book; in my case, my blog.
What do you think?
I agree with Brooke (and you). I don't really want to run my blog like a business or be a brand. And I've followed sites that have been avid publishers until they write their book, then they disappear. Or they blog only to make money. Then there are others with a far bigger reach (Jody Day) for example, who are able to do it sustainably. But in NZ, there's no money in publishing, and I don't have a business/website built around me. So there are other things I'd rather do with my time. Still, I do have a draft of a book already written. But it is so very personal, it's hard to make the effort to actually send it out there, beyond the people who read my blog and know me.
ReplyDeleteI agree. I don't want everything I do to be a source of income. Everyone is telling me to sell my quilts. Before that, everyone told me to sell the beaded wrap bracelets that I used to make. I don't want to. Those are hobbies, not a job, and I'd like to keep it that way.
ReplyDeleteWould I like to publish a book and sell it? Definitely. Do I want to take on the process of finding a publisher and do all of the required marketing and branding? Absolutely not.