I spent Saturday at a "crop" at an area scrapbook store with about 12 other women. As I've written before, it seems like an odd hobby for a childless woman (dominated as it is by mommies) -- but I still enjoy it, although the mommy talk does tend to get stifling now & then (depending on who I am sitting with). The majority of the women at this particular crop were actually older, more like my own mother's age, & I was having a good time.
It does seem like there's always at least one "ouch" moment at every crop, though, & this one was no exception. At one point, everyone started talking about their grandchildren & how great it was to be a grandparent. Someone brought up the old bumper sticker slogan, "If I knew grandchildren were this much fun, I'd have had them first," & even one of the younger women (whose kids are probably still in grade school!) said that oh, she just couldn't wait to be a grandparent someday!
Just a reminder (that I didn't need) that infertility is the gift that keeps on giving. :(
OUCH!!! I dread that "continual giving" a lot myself.
ReplyDeleteYes, that is the kicker. As soon as I make piece with not having children, I will have to do it again with grandchildren.
ReplyDeleteThat is why I want to move to a "family of two" enclave. Since that is not possible, the middle of nowhere is looking pretty good...
I admire you for keeping up with your interest in scrapbooking. I have pretty much abandoned mine. I actually bought tons of stuff to do something with my wedding memorabilia, and at the same time, couldn't resist some stuff for a baby album. All of it stuffed in a drawer...
I was just talking to my girlfriend about this yesterday. My MIL stopped shopping with a friend because the woman kept buying cute little clothes for her grandchildren - she found it too painful.
ReplyDeleteOh, Loribeth. It's just a stab straight to the heart. Hugs to you.
ReplyDelete(and I think you should go for the 'contact' by the researcher. I think you are well-spoken about these issues, and well-read so that you can represent not only your own personal feelings but also an idea of what others think.)
Deathstar, you reminded me. My mother has been sick & missed two gatherings of her classmates in the past five months. She was told by a girlfriend that, at the second gathering, someone noted her absence & said, "Doesn't she like us anymore?" That SO sounded like something I heard other people say about dh's then-childless cousin's wife, who missed several family gatherings over the years & whom I privately suspected was struggling with infertility.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure Mom WAS sick & didn't miss these gatherings intentionally (that's just not her style, not with this group!) -- but I wonder just how difficult it must be for her, with all the grandchild talk that's bound to be floating around. :(
You are so right about the gift that keeps giving. (((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI like Alacrity's idea of a "family of two" enclave. I'd gladly sign up for that!
I am so sorry to hear you had to not only deal with infertility but lose your precious baby as well. That is so unfair. I'm sorry you have to deal with these comments that can trigger the deep pain you feel.
ReplyDeleteI'm about to give up watching certain cable channels because I cannot stomach even the commercials for the shows about families with a gozillion children and how wonderful their lives are. Ugh. Wake me up after the holidays are over, please.
ReplyDelete:( Yes. Yes it does. So sorry, Loribeth.
ReplyDeleteugh! i just felt the sucker punch land. seriously.
ReplyDeleteif it were me i'd have to find a new hobby, but you are far tougher than i am.
Ugh. Sometimes I wish it would stop giving. And I totally feel the same way about my knitting hobby ... as if I should be making baby blankets and layettes for my future nonexistent children and grandchildren.
ReplyDelete