#MicroblogMondays: Three's company :)

**(CONTENT WARNING:  Pregnancy announcement!)(NOT mine, obviously!  lol)**  

It's now Facebook (& Instagram) official, so I can (finally!) spill the beans here:  Little Great-Nephew is going to be a big brother!  

Yes, Older Nephew & his wife are expecting their second child in late December.  And thus we will be great-aunt & great-uncle for a third time.  :)  

Older Nephew called dh's cellphone on the last day of April. Dh just happened to be in the shower (!), and when I saw it was Older Nephew, I answered the call. He doesn't call often. I explained dh couldn't come to the phone just then -- so he told me. :)  I ran into the bathroom so dh could share the news too (above the noise of the shower, lol).  

It was a surprise -- first, because his dad/BIL hadn't blabbed the news yet to dh (the men in that family CANNOT keep secrets!), and second, because both nephews had said they likely wouldn't be having more kids. In Younger Nephew's case, beyond just how expensive it is to raise kids these days -- particularly in this city! -- they went through IVF to get Little Great-Niece here -- and if you're reading this blog, I'm assuming you have some idea of just how expensive THAT is!  I'm not sure whether this was a surprise to Older Nephew & his wife too -- but they are both enthralled by Little Great-Niece, and I have a feeling she might have had some influence here. ;)  

I asked Older Nephew if they'd told Little Great-Nephew, and they had. His reaction? "Oh, good."  That was my reaction to HIS reaction, lol.  He's been kind of lukewarm towards his cousin/Little Great-Niece, albeit he's been warming up to her a little more recently, especially now that she's walking and doing more things. In fact, LGNephew says he hopes he's getting a little sister (!) and, in fact, he thinks it will be a little sister.  He's been right before about other people's babies, so we'll see...!  He had the honour of spilling the news on FB & IG, posing for a photo where he's wearing a T-shirt that says "Big Brother... loading,"  lol. 

Some wistfulness, and yes, definitely some anxiety on my part. (Not quite as much as her pregnancy with LGN, which was during the exact same timeframes as my pregnancy with Katie, 21 years earlier.)  But mostly just gleeful anticipation of another little great-niece or nephew to spoil.  :)   

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Odds & ends

A couple of personal notes:  

• It's been overcast, grey, occasionally rainy, and cool to chilly, more often than not lately. Where is my summer??  :(  
• Younger Nephew invited us over for lunch last Saturday, along with his parents (BIL & SIL). They live close enough to us that we could walk there & back. Little Great-Niece entertained us royally  :)  and we left with enough leftovers for lunch for the next several days.  :)  A very nice afternoon! 
• Dh recently remarked on the number of books showing up in his e-book sales emails related to fathers & kids -- and dads and daughters in particular (in advance of Father's Day this weekend).  He usually doesn't say much in this vein, so I'm guessing it was bothering him more than usual...!  :(  

And now, a few good recent reads on my radar lately:  

• A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about a thought-provoking piece I'd read by Ruby Warrington in her email newsletter, which (together with a Substack piece from another writer) got me thinking about "information overload versus creativity." 
• Ruby received such a big response to that email that she decided to post the text on her website and to point to it on her social media accounts. I had to do a bit of hunting to find it (it's kind of buried in there!), but here's the link, in case you'd like to read the whole thing:  "Creativity in the The Era of 'Peak Content'."
• Says Ruby, introducing her essay: "I realize the irony of me putting the following into a blog post that I also plan to share on social media. In fact, I hesitated before writing this piece, which I originally shared on my newsletter. Wouldn’t I just be adding to the problem? But the response was overwhelming; clearly, I am not alone in these reflections. Which makes me think a new way of doing things is ready to emerge."
• The New York Times interviewed 10 prominent artists on the subject of grief and how it's changed them. 
• Alison Motluk has a thought-provoking essay about the implications of sperm donation on her Hey Reprotech Substack:  "Anonymous Father's Day." 
• Is U.S. First Lady Jill Biden Hunter Biden's mom? Monica Hesse of the Washington Post weighs in. (I know everyone's story is different, but may step- and adoptive mothers will relate...!)
• As someone whose daughter was stillborn at least in part because of placental issues, I was glad to see this article in the Atlantic:  "A Breakthrough in Preventing Stillbirth." (Subhead: "Half of pregnancy losses have unidentified causes. The placenta could provide answers.")(Gift link, good for 14 days after this post is published.) 
• https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2024/06/placenta-stillbirths-research/678570/ 
• "You Decided to Become a Mother. What Happened Next?" The New York Times wants to know! (Gift link.)  There's a form you can fill out. (You may be contacted by a reporter for more information.)  It would be nice if they got the message that the journey to motherhood is not always smooth, does not always end happily ever after and, for some of us, motherhood ultimately never happens at all.  
• Jake Tapper mentioned on CNN today that many of the 20 children who were murdered at Sandy Hook school in Connecticut 12 (!!) years ago would be graduating high school right about now. !!!  
• Hearing that was a gut punch that brought tears to my eyes. I remember how incredibly hard it was, watching the parents of Katie's peers proudly posting photos of their child's graduation in June 2016, and then taking them to university that fall (and mourning their "empty nests" -- when mine had never been occupied to begin with...)  My heart goes out to the parents of those precious children who never got the chance to grow up and graduate. 
• At the time Sandy Hook happened, Mel wrote about focusing on remembering just one of the young lives among the many snuffed out prematurely on that terrible day. As I wrote in a blog post at the time, I chose Ana Marquez-Greene, whose family had ties to my home province of Manitoba.  I still think about her whenever Sandy Hook comes up. 

"The Hollow Sea" by Annie Kirby

"The Hollow Sea" by Annie Kirby is the July pick for the Nomo Book Club within the Childless Collective private online community  The book was published in the U.K. two years ago;  it's finally become more widely available, including here in North America. (I even found a paperback copy in my local bookstore!)  

Kirby is childless-not-by-choice, and a member of the CC community, and infertility, loss, grief and childlessness (as well as adoption) are central themes in this book. 

"The Hollow Sea" tells the story(ies) of three women (actually four). The main character, who narrates her parts of the story, is Scottie, who is trying to come to terms with childlessness after one fertility treatment after another fails. She's haunted by the photo of a remote island in the North Atlantic that she spots on a website.  When the opportunity arises to do some volunteer work in the area, she jumps at the chance, abandoning her bewildered husband, their three remaining embryos and their life together. 

There's also Charlotte, adopted as a child by an infertile couple, Helen and Phil.  And finally, there is Thora (Thordis), who lives in a cottage on a remote island in the North Atlantic with the child she calls "Fairy" but whose name, we eventually learn, is Susan. Gradually, these three storylines begin to connect, secrets are revealed and longstanding mysteries are (eventually) resolved.  

This book reminded me in some ways of "The Metal Heart" by Caroline Lea, which our group read and discussed in January 2023 (reviewed here).  It contains elements of mythology/fairy tales, which are generally not my thing. Timelines shift back and forth between the present and the past in all three storylines, which can sometimes make the overall story a little difficult to follow.  I will admit I found the ending just slightly dissatisfying (for reasons I don't want to outline here, because, spoilers!).  

But the writing is beautiful, the story is compelling and kept me turning the pages -- and every word related to infertility, loss and childlessness is bang-on accurate. 

A solid 4 stars.  

Content warning:  Along with the triggers you might expect when adoption/loss/infertility/childlessness is part of the story, there's also a blackfish/whale hunt that may be difficult reading for some. There is also some domestic abuse in the story. 

This was Book #18 read to date in 2024 (and Book #1 finished in June), bringing me to 40%  of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 1 book behind schedule to meet my goal. :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2024 tagged as "2024 books."    

My happy place (well, one of them...!) ;)

Dh & I bonded over our shared love of books, almost from the very start of our relationship, almost 43 (! -- gulp!) years ago now. And long before I ever set foot in Toronto, he'd sung me the praises of the World's Biggest Bookstore (WBB) there. It was one of the first places he took me on one of my first visits to the city where we would eventually make our home. 

I was reminded of the WBB when the Toronto Star shared a recent first-person article marking 10 years since the store's demise. It ceased operations on March 30th, 2014, shortly before I lost my job that summer, and was demolished that November. It was not, as the article notes, actually the world's biggest bookstore -- but it was still pretty darn big. :)  Housed in a former bowling alley (!), it had none of the charm of cozy independent bookstores or even the polished, carpet-and-wood ambience of the mega-bookstore chain outlets. There was nowhere to sit (except maybe on the stairs?), no cafe serving elaborate hot and cold drinks, no tempting tchotchkes. 

But there were BOOKS.  Tons & tons of books, tens of thousands of titles, on two floors, stretching almost as far as the eye could see. Books on every topic under the sun. Bargain books, older titles as well as recent bestsellers, and lots of in-betweens. Titles you wouldn't find anywhere else, in those pre-mega-bookstore chain, pre-Internet, pre-Amazon days.  It was located just off Yonge Street, the main north-south street that divides Toronto into east and west, near the Toronto Eaton Centre mall and the subway (and, coincidentally, on the same street as the clinic where I went to have my ultrasounds done when I was in fertility treatment).  It was two subway stops north of where I worked, and I'd sometimes go there on my lunch hour -- although an hour (including subway and walking time there and back) was hardly enough for a truly satisfying browse. 

(I once stood in line there for my entire lunch hour to get the actor Charlton Heston -- one of my mother's favourites -- to sign a copy of his recently released memoir as a Christmas present for her.  This was pre-"Bowling for Columbine" and "From my cold dead hands," and while I was never the fan my mother was -- and less so when I realized what a gun nut he was -- it was still kind of cool to be standing in a line that stretched around the perimeter of the store, and hearing the booming baritone voice of Moses himself resonating from around the corner, lol.)    

Chapters/Indigo's big-box stores may be nicer (although they're not as nice as they used to be, nor as full of books, and most of the comfy seating has been removed over the years), and independent stores may be cozier and more personal, but the dearly departed World's Biggest Bookstore will always hold a special place in my heart (and dh's).  

Here's another first-person appreciation of the WBB. 

Right now

Right now...* 

*(an occasional (mostly monthly) meme, alternating from time to time with "The Current"). (Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first "The Current" post, here.)

May was a fast month! (How is this year almost halfway over, already??) The weather turned warmer and sunnier, albeit it still had a few too many overcast/rainy/chilly days to suit me...!  We turned on the air conditioning, mid-month, but it's only kicked in a few times so far. I cleaned off the balcony/patio furniture, but haven't had a chance to sit out there and enjoy it. (Yet!)  

Pandemic diary/update: May was month #50 (!) since the advent of covid in March 2020. Nobody seems to be talking much about covid these days... but we know it's still out there. (Here's a relevant, if U.S.-centric, gift-linked Washington Post article:  "Covid will still be here this summer. Will anyone care?")  After 4+ years, we (still!) remain covid-free (knocking wood, loudly...), and continue to mask in stores and most other public places, especially where there are a lot of people (although dh is starting to slack off again whenever I'm not around to hand him a mask...!). We've done a little more eating out in mall food courts and cafes/restaurants in recent months (mostly for lunch), albeit we usually try to go early, when it won't be as crowded, and sit somewhere near the door, where the air is circulating better (if not outside on a patio, if one is available). We're still not back to regular Saturday dinners out, and I'm not sure we ever will be. (Even without my concerns about covid, the cost of eating out has gotten ridiculous lately! -- even just for takeout!)  

Among other things this month, we: 

• Attended a 90th birthday party for dh's uncle (his dad's sister's husband) on May 4th at an Italian restaurant, along with 40-50 other family members and friends. (Maskless.) It was very noisy and crowded, and we were EXHAUSTED the next day (boy, are we getting old...!), but the food was good (see "Eating," below) and it was so nice to see so many of dh's aunts, uncles & cousins.  
• Went to the mall for a few hours of walking, shopping and lunch (at a great fast-fired pizza cafe -- see "Eating," below) on May 7th and 22nd.  
• Had a browse at the bookstore, May 14th, and went grocery shopping with dh (May 27th). 
• Drove to our old community on May 17th (the Friday before the Victoria Day long weekend!). Stopped at the cemetery briefly to visit Katie's niche, then headed to the mall for haircuts, lunch in the food court (Tim Hortons) and some shopping and walking. 
• Had lunch at BIL & SIL's house on May 19th (Sunday of the Victoria Day long weekend), along with the nephews and their families. The weather was gorgeous, the food was great and the company was unbeatable :) (including entertainment from Little Great-Nephew & Little Great-Niece!).  

 

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 3 books in May (reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2024 books").  

• "Fletcher’s End" by D.E. Stevenson, a sequel to "Bel Lamington." (My review.) 
• "All In" by Billie Jean King (the June book for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club). (My review.)
• "Anne's House of Dreams" by L.M. Montgomery, a re-read with my LMM Readathon Facebook group, which began Jan. 15th. (My most recent review here;  original review here.)  

This brings me to 17 books read so far in 2024, 38% of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books.  I am currently one (1) book behind schedule to meet my goal. :)   

Current read(s): 

• "Fletcher’s End" by D.E. Stevenson, for my DES group -- a sequel to "Bel Lamington." Our group read started May 20th and will run through mid-September! -- currently at 11% read. (My original review.) 
• "Bring Up the Bodies" by Hilary Mantel (book #2 in the Thomas Cromwell Trilogy) -- part of a year-long "slow readalong" hosted by Simon at Footnotes and Tangents.  We started April 29th;  currently at about 51% read. We will finish this one and start reading #3 in the trilogy, "The Mirror and the Light," in mid/late July.  
• "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy (!). As I wrote here, I need another book club/readalong obligation like a hole in the head  ;)  but nevertheless, I'm taking part in a year-long readalong of this book, hosted by Simon at Footnotes and Tangents -- a chapter a day for a full year, which began Jan. 1, 2024. (And I'm really enjoying it!)  Currently at about 47% read.  
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club: 
• "The Hollow Sea" by Annie Kirby (July) 
• "Swing Time" by Zadie Smith (August) 
• "Code Name Helene" by Ariel Lawhon (September) 
• "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert (October) (a Barren Bitches Book Tour selection from October 2008, the early days of this blog! -- discussed here;  related post here). 
• "Persuasion" by Jane Austen (November) 
• "The Christmas Orphans Club" by Becca Freeman (reviewed here).  (December) 
• For my D.E. Stevenson group:  This list of upcoming books should keep us busy through 2024, and well into 2025 or 2026!  (A couple of the books are ones we covered when I first joined the group back in 2014 -- you know you've been around for a while when....!)  
• Miss Buncle’s Book (likely beginning September/October 2024;  original 2015 review here).  
• Peter West 
• Miss Buncle Married
• The Two Mrs. Abbotts
• Crooked Adam 
• The Four Graces

• For the Notes from Three Pines (Louise Penny mysteries) Readalong: The last discussion was for book #3, "The Cruellest Month," posted in June 2023 (no further posts/books since then).  I've continued dipping into the series on my own, between other book club obligations. Book #6, "Bury Your Dead," is the next one on my to-read list! 

A few recently purchased titles (mostly in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points):  

• "The Bee Sting" by Paul Murray 
• "Wild Hope" by Donna Ashworth 
• "Everyone on This Train is a Suspect" by Benjamin Stevenson 
• "I Promise It Won't Always Hurt Like This" by Claire Mackintosh 
• "Leadership: In Turbulent Times" by Doris Kearns Goodwin 
• "Living the Beatles Legend" by Kenneth Womack 
• "Not Your China Doll" by Katie Gee Salisbury
• "The Class" by Ken Dryden 

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Watching:  Nothing too notable.  (Too much news!  :p  ) 

Listening:  Nicer weather (but not too hot -- yet!! -- and not quite enough sunshine...!) is FINALLY here, we have the balcony door open for most of the day -- which means a constant soundtrack consisting of either (a) lawnmowers, weed whackers and leaf blowers (especially as many people around us are doing yard cleanup from the winter and putting in their gardens), and/or (b) the revved up motors of sportscars and motorcycles, and/or (c) music from neighbouring back yards and patios, as people start spending more time outdoors. The Victoria Day long weekend was especially noisy. We had a group of partygoers SINGING somewhere nearby, plus the loud explosions of fireworks every night.  Heaven grant me patience...!  

We had new neighbours move into the unit kitty-corner from us, early in the new year. We have never seen them -- but we HEAR them -- specifically, we've heard at least one child (and often more -- not sure if they're siblings or just friends?) coming & going -- often running (stampeding??) full speed down the hall between 3 and 3:30 p.m. (school's out?), NOT whispering!  Lots of giggles. ;)  Under 10 years old, we think. Thankfully, the noise is usually short-lived as they go into their unit, or head down the hall to the elevators! 

Further down the hall, the neighbours, the dog or both must be new to the building, because we've never heard it before... but starting Victoria Day Monday and for several days afterward, the poor thing barked and howled up a storm for hours on end, every day.  :(   Damn near broke my heart.  :(  I'm assuming the people who live in that unit -- several doors down, and I'm sure you could hear it all over the floor -- got a new dog/puppy and just left it alone during the day while they went to work, without arranging for doggie day care of some sort. People always used to ask me why we didn't have a dog:  THIS is why. :(   I just don't think it's fair to the animal to be left alone for 8, 10, 12 hours a day, even if/when they don't make any noise.  I was on the verge of either taping a note to their door, or sending a complaint to the property manager when, thankfully, the noise subsided after a couple of day. (Not sure why -- and not sure I want to find out...?) 

To Heardle Decades: Stats as of  May 31st:  

• Heardle 60s: 76.3% (461/604, 191 on first guess), down just slightly from last month. Max. streak: 15.
• Heardle 70s: 81.6% (279/342, 150 on first guess), up from last month. Max. streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s: 42.3% (91/215,  38 on first guess), down from last month. Max. streak: 4. 
• Heardle 90s: 26.2% (85/325, 17 on first guess), down from last month. Max. streak: 4. 

Eating/Drinking:  Way too much at the 90th birthday party for dh's uncle on May 4th at an Italian restaurant: appetizer after appetizer; salad;  pasta (penne with alfredo sauce for me;  penne alla vodka for everyone else);  a great sirloin steak with roasted potatos & veggies (including fresh asparagus);  and tiramisu for dessert (as well as Italian pastries baked by dh's aunts).  

Also way too much at lunch (barbecued) at BIL's on May 19th with the family:  a small steak with a baked potato, also a hamburger, and salad. There were also hotdogs, corn on the cob and a quinoa salad (which I couldn't eat because it had tomato in it), and apple pie and birthday cake for dessert.  (Our nephews' wives both had birthdays earlier this month -- they were born same day, same year! and wound up marrying brothers!  Isn't that wild?)

Thin-crust, fast-fired pizza from an outlet at the mall an outlet at the mall, both times we were there this month. (Apparently an American chain?)  Rather like the delicious pizzas we enjoyed in Ottawa's Byward Market a few years back. You can build your own or order from their suggested menu, which includes two tomato-free options for me. (I don't remember the name of the one I usually order, but it has a cream/alfredo sauce base with cheese, garlic and bacon, and arugula sprinkled on top at the very end when it comes out of the oven.)  Couldn't finish the entire thing in one sitting, both times, so took home the remaining slices and had them for lunch the next day. Delicious!  

Takeout lunches & dinners this month included soup, pizza slices and teriyaki rice bowls (chicken for me, beef for dh) from the supermarket takeout counters; California Sandwiches, chicken fingers and fries (Jack Astor's), and breakfast sandwiches (for lunch) from Tim Hortons. 

And on the drinking front ;) -- we don't normally keep a lot of alcohol in the house -- but we bought dh's uncle a bottle of champagne for his 90th birthday party (what do you get for a 90-year-old man, right??), and I picked up a small bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream for myself at the same time.  I enjoyed a nice big glass of it, cold, on Mother's Day, while taking part in a text chat with some other childless women. Perfect!  ;)  

Buying (besides books, lol):  

• Some new kitchen towels and handtowels for the bathroom, a couple of T-shirts for myself, and a couple of things for Little Great-Niece & Little Great-Nephew (including matching T-shirts that say "Cousin Crew," lol) at the mall.  
• A black handbag/purse (style name Leila, pebbled leather) at the Kate Spade outlet store, on our most recent trip to the mall. Similar to the Vince Camuto bag I am using right now (the salesperson even commented on that). I didn't NEED a new handbag, but I tend to be very picky about my purses, and the ones I like are hard to find at the moment. I like them big (but not TOO big! -- or else I overstuff them), with a substantial strap(s), at least two compartments (preferably three, which this one had) and the more pockets, the better.   Most Kate Spade bags are a little too small and dainty for my tastes, but this one was perfect. 
• Regular price on the tag: $479 (Canadian)(!) -- store price much less than that (I don't remember exactly how much, but under $200), and there were a couple more discounts. Including taxes, I paid just over $150.  :)   
• Great deal?  Well yes. EXCEPT -- when I got it home and removed all the paper stuffing inside, I realized it REEKED. It smelled like cigarette smoke. :(  I put it in the closet, and the next morning, the whole closet smelled. 
• So I moved the bag into the other bedroom/office (lol) and did some Googling. I put a couple of small (snack-sized) open Ziploc baggies full of baking soda inside each compartment, closed them up, then put the purse inside a plastic bag with the rest of the box of baking soda. 
• That was 2 days ago. I opened up the bag and the purse yesterday morning. I could still smell something, albeit not quite so strongly. So I pulled out the lining and set it out on a chair on the balcony in the shade for a couple of hours. Once the sun started moving onto the balcony, I brought the bag indoors. It still smelled a bit, but less so. I wrapped it up again with the baking soda in the bag overnight. I may set it outside again for a while today. 
• Any other suggestions for me??  (Dh has suggested I could take it back, but I'm not sure I want to do that. It was the only black purse they had left in stock.) (Maybe that's why??)  I'm in no hurry to use it;  the purse I have is just fine right now. I just like to have one in reserve. ;)  

Wearing: Capris, sandals and short sleeves, finally!! (by mid-month)!  Yay!!  :)  (Albeit I still need to put on slippers and/or a cardigan, now & then!) 

Noticing:  My rosacea, which subsided after being on a prescription cream for a month (one month only -- albeit it did not vanish completely), is flaring up again. :(   Probably time to go back to the doctor. He said he might refer me to a dermatologist. I had FLAWLESS skin when I was a teenager (go figure...), so I'm having a hard time with what I see in the mirror these days...!  :(   Sigh.... (Would this be menopause related??) 

Missing:  Little Great-Niece and Little Great-Nephew. It's been two weeks since we last saw them, and it feels like ages.  :(  

Trying:  To be a little more active than I have been lately...!  (The nicer weather is motivation!) 

Prioritizing: Keeping up with reading my various book club selections. I'm enjoying them all, but I do hope to be able to get to read a few of my own choices soon...!  (So many great books, so little time...!) 

Wanting: To pay a visit to the nearby art gallery where I have a membership again soon. I think the last time we went was on my birthday in January -- the grounds are lovely, and the weather is MUCH more conducive to a walk around there than it was then!. 

Hoping:  For a good report from the dentist next week, when we go for cleanings & checkups...!  

Enjoying: Playing Connections in the New York Times every day lately. I never got into Wordle, but we recently played a themed version on a Zoom call for one of the online groups I'm in, and I was hooked!  (One more thing for my daily to-do list...!) 

Loving & Appreciating:  Being able to have the balcony door open and letting the fresh air in for most of the day, almost every day lately, during the last half of the month!  

Wondering:  How long that's going to last before the heat & humidity kick in??    

Feeling:  Happy that warm(er, but not TOO warm... yet!!) weather is finally here!