Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

July was a blur! -- including our 40th (!) wedding anniversary and two weeks in Manitoba with my family.  (How is it August already?) 

This month, we: 

• Went to the bookstore for a browse and to buy some birthday cards (July 3rd). 
• Drove to our old community on July 4th for a cemetery visit with Katie, haircuts, food court lunch, walking & shopping at the mall. 
• I enjoyed a few hours of rare "me alone at home" time later that evening when dh (along with BIL, the nephews, and their cousins/cousins' kids on their mom's side of the family) attended a stag/bachelor party dinner for their cousin's son (27, same age as Katie would have been), who's getting married in August.  
• Celebrated our 40th (!!) wedding anniversary on July 6th by going out for a very nice dinner -- and then coming home to watch "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" on TV (and laughed ourselves silly, lol).  
• Went to the local mall to walk & shop (July 8th & 29th). 
• Took a few bags full of books & clothes to the thrift store (July 9th). 
• Went to the nail salon for a pedicure (July 10th). 
• Travelled west to spend two weeks (July 12th-27th) with my parents & sister. While there we: 
• Made multiple trips to the local grocery store. Dh & I certainly indulged in treats while we were there (as the scale will attest...!), but we also stocked up on some of our usual, relatively healthy snacks -- sparkling water (instead of pop), pretzels and Greek yogurt.  
• Had cheeseburgers, fries and ice cream at the very popular local drive-in (twice), which has been operating for more than 60 (!) years (albeit it was sold by the family who originally owned it a few years back). 
• (I) Had lunch at a local restaurant with a friend who drove out from the city for a visit. 
• Did a LOT of waiting around for my mother, who notoriously marches to her own drummer/schedule -- sleeps half the day and prowls around most of the night. :p  Most mornings, she was not out of bed before noon (albeit she would sometimes spend part of that time reading her phone/tablet in bed). (If she did get up before noon, more often than not, she would head back to bed after being up for a half hour or so).
• Played cards every single night we were there, as well as a few games of dominos. My dad LOVES both!  (Dh not so much, lol, but he still played.) 
• Were royally entertained by visits from Little Princess #3 (and her mom, PND). 
• Celebrated my dad's 86th birthday, and my parents' 65th wedding anniversary, with cake & coffee with PND & family and a few of the neighbours in my parents' garage. (It would have been the back yard, but it looked like rain.)  
• We offered to take my parents out for dinner on both occasions, but the most they felt like doing was takeout hamburgers & fries from the local drive-in (!). (See above.) 
• Kept the windows closed, more often than not, because of the poor air quality caused by smoke from the forest fires several hundred miles north.  :(  My sister bought air purifiers for herself & our parents, and I chipped in for half of Mom & Dad's.  Sad to see the normally gloriously blue, sunny sky a dull, overcast grey.  :(  
• Went grocery shopping the morning after our return (July 28th), and restocked our rather bare refrigerator & cupboards. ;)  
• Picked up a prescription at the drugstore (July 29th) and then another prescription the next day! (July 30th) . 
• Had my upper lip waxed and brows (or what remains of them, anyway...!)(the left one in particular is pretty sparse...) shaped and tinted at a local Sephora, in advance of dh's cousin's son's upcoming wedding. (July 30th) 

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished just 1 book in July (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2025 books"). (Too many distractions while at my parents'!):  

• "Miss Buncle Married" by D.E. Stevenson, for my D.E. Stevenson group. (Original 2015 review here;  April 2025 review here;  most recent review here). 

This brings me to 21 books read in 2025 to date, 47% of my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 5 (! -- sigh...) books behind pace to meet my goal.  :) 

Current reads: 

• The Two Mrs. Abbotts by D.E. Stevenson. (Re-)Reading this one in advance of my D.E. Stevenson group's chapter-by-chapter reading & discussion, which starts Aug. 4th and runs through mid-October. (My original 2015 review here). Currently 12% completed 
• "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's, where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
• "A Place of Greater Safety" by Hilary Mantel, the current slow read with Footnotes and Tangents, which began May 5th and runs for 20 weeks (until Sept. 15th). Currently 59% completed. 
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Did not finish: 

• "Living the Life Unexpected" by Jody Day. My online discussion group recently finished its year-long, chapter-by-chapter read of this CNBC classic -- the 5th (!) time I've read it (or tried to read it), or the earlier version of it ("Rocking the Life Unexpected").  This time around, however, I only managed to attend about half the meetings (and read the corresponding chapters). I'm choosing to mark this as "did not finish" this time around, and will start fresh if/when the group restarts and I join in the discussions again.  
• "DNF"  should not cast any doubt on whether this is a worthwhile read, because it is!  and the fact that I've previously read this book multiple times all the way through (plus parts of it at other times) should vouch for that.  :) 
• Most recent review, with links to earlier reviews, here.

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  
• "Drive Your Plow (Over the Bones of the Dead)" by Olga Tokarczuk.(August). 
• "The Wonderful Adventures of Mrs. Seacole in Many Lands" by Mary Seacole. (September) 
• "The Secrets of Blythswood Square" by Sara Sheridan. (October) 
• For my D.E. Stevenson group:  This list of upcoming books should keep us busy through 2025 or even into early 2026!  (A couple of the books are ones we covered shortly after I first joined the group back in 2014 -- you know you've been around for a while when....!)  
• Crooked Adam. (I have never read this one, and we've never tackled it during my 11 years with the group! so I'm looking forward to it!)  
• The Four Graces (original 2015 review here). 

• Footnotes and Tangents slow readalongs planned for 2025 include:
• "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe -- starts Sept. 29th, for 5 weeks. 
• "The Blue Flower" by Penelope Fitzgerald -- starts Nov. 3rd, for 7 weeks. 

(Simon is a big fan of the late great Hilary Mantel, and the other books he's selected were all ones that she loved, so he figured they would probably be worth reading!) 

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): 

• "The Resilience Myth" by Soraya Chemaly 
• "Marble Hall Murders" by Anthony Horowitz 
• "The Life Cycle of the Common Octopus" by Emma Knight 
• "The Summer of Naked Swim Parties" by Jessica Anya Blau 
• (This is one of those books that I just HAD to buy because of the title...!  lol) 
• "Dare I Say It" by Naomi Watts 
• "Uptown Girl" by Christie Brinkley 
• "That Librarian" by Amanda Jones

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Watching: 

• "Coronation Girls" on PBS on Canada Day -- a documentary about a group of 50 Canadian teenaged girls, who were chosen by Canadian businessman Garfield Weston to attend Queen Elizabeth II's coronation in London in June 1953 -- how their lives have unfolded since then, and the return trip that 12 of them -- now in their late 80s! -- made to England 70 years later, in December 2023 (including a special surprise visitor to a tea party!).  Just wonderful, and reminded me a little of my own life-changing trip to Ottawa when I was in Grade 12.  
• "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" on TCM on July 6th (our 40th wedding anniversary). I've seen this one several times since I was a teenager, albeit not recently, and it was so much fun. We laughed ourselves silly. ("Life of Brian," which I saw when it first came out in 1979, was on after that, but I couldn't stay awake until the end. And I think "Holy Grail" is the much better and funnier movie anyway!) 
• The LiveAid 40th anniversary documentary series on CNN, which is bringing back a lot of great memories! (Final episode airing on Sunday night!) 

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: Stats as of July 31st:  
• Heardle 60s: 74.7% (743/995, 295 on first guess), down 0.5% from last month. Max. streak: 15.
• Heardle 70s: 77.8% (571/734, 322 on first guess), up 0.2% from last month. Max. streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s: 40.0% (241/602, 88 on first guess), up 0.6% from last month. Max. streak: 5.
• Heardle 90s: 31.7% (223/703, 54 on first guess), up 0.3% from last month. Max. streak: 5. 
• NYT Connections:  
•  By June 30th, I'd completed 337 games and won 85% of them, including 172 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, including 8 where I got the most difficult/purple category first.  And I increased my maximum winning streak to 45!  :)   (Current streak at 2!)  
• By July 31st, I'd played 368 games and won 86% of them, including 189 "perfect puzzles," including 8 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (unchanged from last month).  Maximum winning steak:  45.  Current streak: 7. 

Following:  

• I recently started following Canadian Returnee on Substack (who also posts from the American perspective as American Refugee). They hold dual Canadian/American citizenship and recently returned to Canada from living abroad (in Hong Kong, and possibly elsewhere). I appreciate the broad, thoughtful perspective they bring to our current cross-border issues.  

Eating/Drinking:  

• As I've mentioned before, we achieved our goal of lowering our cholesterol levels in late January, after less-than-stellar bloodwork last fall earned us both serious chats with our family doctor -- and we've been trying to maintain/improve on those numbers (and lose/keep off some extra pounds) since then, by continuing to eat healthier and move at least a little more.    
• This goal took a bit of a hit this month (big anniversary dinner out, travelling, two weeks at my parents' house)(my dad never met a pound of butter he didn't love, lol) -- and I guess that was to be expected. (And how often do I get "home" to see my parents -- or to celebrate my wedding anniversary -- and a "milestone" one at that??) 
• We weighed ourselves the morning after we got home (not recommended...!), and again this morning (Friday = our usual weigh-in day), with better results. I ended the month 1 pound heavier than when it began -- which is not too bad, all things considered...!  Overall, I've lost about 12 pounds since our chat with the doctor last October (dh has lost more than 20), and almost 24 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight a few years ago. 
• Steaks and sides at the local Keg (Canadian steakhouse chain) on our 40th wedding anniversary -- including a slice of their famous Billy Miner Pie for dessert (described in this post). (The portions are HUGE, but we ordered one and asked for two spoons, lol.) 
• Homecooked (by my dad) meals at my parents' house included waffles for brunch, pickerel, pork tenderloin, and new potatos, carrots and yellow wax beans from the local farmers' market. 
• Chicken caesar wrap with fries for lunch with an old friend, at a local bistro in my parents' town.  
• Great cheeseburgers, fries and soft-serve ice cream at the local drive-in in my parents' town (which has been there for more than 60 years!). 
• Breakfast sandwiches at Tim Hortons at the Toronto and Winnipeg airports (egg, cheese and sausage on an English muffin). 
• Other notable recent takeout meals include soup & pizza slices from the local supermarket takeout counter, and wood oven thin crust pizza. 

Wearing:  Shorts or capris, and short-sleeved T-shirts and tank tops.  :)  Also, I wore sundresses for both our wedding anniversary dinner out and my dad's birthday party.   

Buying (besides books, lol): 

• Canadian products (or from Canadian companies), as much as possible ;) -- albeit I will admit I'm not as much of a purist as some people seem to be...!    
• New dress shirt for dh (to wear to his cousin's son's wedding -- all his old dress shirts were yellowed around the cuffs and collars!).  
• A couple of new tops from Reitmans. 
• A few things for the great-niblings (on sale), as well as a couple of tops for me, at Old Navy. 

Wondering:  What happened to July?? 

And: Which of the two dresses I bought should I wear to the upcoming wedding??  (I STILL haven't made up my mind...!  Decisions, decisions...) 

Prioritizing:  Trying to get through my daily to-do list (even if everything on it doesn't get done) before starting other projects. 

Trying:  Not to fret if I don't get through my inbox ever day. And to pare down my inbox and delete old/unread messages on a more regular/frequent schedule! 

Anticipating: Seeing the nephews and their families this weekend at BIL's!  Also, seeing some of dh's cousins at his cousin's son's wedding, coming up soon.  

And: Spending some time remembering our Katie on her special day, also coming up soon. 

Noticing/Enjoying:  Clean windows!  The window washers hadn't reached our side of the building before we left to see my parents. We still have to do the balcony doors ourselves, but the other two windows look great! (They DO make a difference!)  

Wanting: To get to the gelato shop, sooner vs later...!  (Haven't been yet this summer!)    

Appreciating:  Sleeping in my own bed again!  lol  

Loving:  Spending time with my parents -- but also loving coming home again! 

Hoping: August is not as hot and humid as July was...! (But I won't hold my breath...!)  

                              

Feeling: Grateful to be able to spend time with my parents (even when they're driving me nuts...!).  (Nevertheless...!:)  Glad to be home again.  Aware of quickly the year is speeding by (and how many things I want and need to be done that still need doing...!).   

Long weekend odds & ends

• It's the Family Day long weekend here in Ontario (and a couple of other Canadian provinces).  This holiday always sneaks up on me -- I knew there was a long weekend coming up (although long weekends don't mean quite the same thing when you're retired...!) -- but it hadn't really sunk in that it was THAT long weekend until I looked at my email on Friday afternoon and saw a promotional message from a friend's small business:  "Happy Family Day Weekend!"  Ugh. (So far, not TOO much hype. But it's only Saturday...!)  
• Past rants (ummm, posts) on this subject here. 
• Speaking of family:  the son of one of dh's cousins -- six months older than Katie would have been -- is engaged. His mom announced it via our cousins' WhatsApp group this weekend, along with a photo of the happy couple, showing off the ring. Everyone is excited -- "too long since we've had a family wedding!"
• I'm happy for them. He's a very nice young man, and she seems like a nice girl.  But I couldn't help but think about my own little girl, who would be 25 (!) now -- older than I was when I got married, at 24 (!!) -- who will never grow up. let alone become a bride. :(  
• Also speaking of family (and on a lighter note) -- BIL called yesterday to tell us that Little Great-Nephew's teacher asked each student to tell the class who they would most like to have dinner with. All the kids were naming celebrities, athletes, etc.  -- but LGN said, "All the people in my heart" (!) -- and then named off everyone in his extended family! -- including me & dh!!  Needless to say, we were both absolutely tickled when we heard this (and yes, I got kind of teary too!).  
• Something else that gave me a chuckle:  I got an email from Kobo.ca on Friday night, promoting their long weekend bargain books. Scrolling through the selections, I started laughing when I found the title "Mayo Clinic Guide to Fertility and Conception" -- in the Science Fiction & Fantasy section!  lol  
• I'm not sure if this article is behind a subscriber paywall, but it's an interesting read:  "My partner and I want to have a baby, but we can't afford it without leaving Toronto. Is that our fault — or part of a much bigger problem?"  (Subhead:  "You always hear "there's never a perfect time to have kids," but that minimizes major structural inequalities that affect a huge amount of Canadians.") 
• I feel for this couple (and I get pissed off by politicians whose main solution to reversing declining birth rates seems to be going after abortion and birth control). The expense of having a baby, and the lack of support (no mother or mother-in-law nearby to help me, expensive and limited daycare options, etc.) were certainly among the reasons why we procrastinated on trying to conceive until I was in my mid-30s. (And our rent ranged from $650 a month in 1985, when we moved in, to $975  by the time we bought our house in 1990 and moved out. This was for a small one-bedroom apartment in a charming renovated brownstone building in a  tony midtown neighbourhood near the subway that, when we first moved in, did not allow children. I'm sure that would seem incredibly cheap to renters today, but it was pretty expensive at the time...!)     
• You MUST read Jody Day's post on her Childless Elderwomen Substack about childless daughters, caregiving and pronatalism ("It's not like she's got anything else to do, is it?")  She absolutely nails it. I'm so grateful she is doing this work and calling some much-needed attention to these issues! 
• This opinion piece in the Guardian generated quite a bit of discussion in one of the online childless communities I frequent:  "Facebook’s endless back-to-school photos spark complex feelings for childfree people like me – but sadness isn’t one of them."  I'd be curious to know what you think of it!  
• Personally, I found the writer's tone and wording minimized (perhaps even dismissed?) the very real pain that many childless women feel -- and I worry that readers who have not shared this experience might not understand that she does NOT speak for all of us. (Some of us would LOVE to have friends like hers...!)  
• Quote:  "In the patriarchal, restricted and desperately sexist world that came before, one can imagine that a woman without children may have been a object of concerned pity..."  Well, we certainly have more opportunities and other fulfilling experiences these days -- but that doesn't mean that the world isn't still full of patriarchy & sexism, or that childless women aren't still objects of pity in some quarters...
• I also chafe at the idea -- which I've seen a fair bit of recently in various books & articles -- that suggests the childless/free should "[embrace] active roles... in the broad community of family and friends that actually helps people with kids raise their children."  Yes, it's an option -- but it shouldn't feel like an obligation, just because we don't have children of our own to occupy our time & energy.  Some of us are happy to help out, some of us would rather not, some of us don't have any family or friends with young children nearby, and some of us would like to help but (inexplicably) meet resistance from some parents. It's not always that simple.
• I questioned why a writer/publication would be highlighting back to school photos in the middle of February??  An Australian in the group explained to me that the writer was an Aussie, and the school year there runs from late January/early February through November/December. Oops. I apologized for my northern hemisphere-centricity.  ;) 
• Also from the Guardian:  Bravo to Carla Dejonghe, a Belgian woman who has persuaded her local municipal council to confront a highly common blind spot, and consider the impact of its policies on single people (including many childless women).  36% of households in Belgium are currently made up of single adults. That number has grown by 30% in just over a decade, and it's likely to keep getting larger in the future. A couple of excerpts (boldfaced emphasis is mine):  

The text of the charter stresses the aim of ensuring that single-income households are treated on an equal footing with others, adding: “It is our interest as policymakers to no longer think from the perspective of the traditional family as the norm, but to strive for measures that are neutral to living arrangements.”

It includes measures that range from encouraging new housing projects to feature communal spaces for more social interaction, to tweaking municipal invitations to specify that guests can bring a “plus one” instead of only a partner...

The charter also commits to championing single-friendly practices within the local hospitality industry, such as communal tables and a wider selection of quality wines by the glass. Workplaces will also be encouraged to reconsider the common practice of relying on people who live alone any time overtime is required.

“These are just simple things,” said Dejonghe. “They don’t cost much money but they’re very logical.”

...Dejonghe, who is also a member of Belgium’s parliament, said she had yet to receive any negative reactions, chalking it up to the care she had taken to emphasise that the charter was in no way aimed at diminishing the importance of traditional families.

“It’s about equality,” she said. “Everyone has to be aware of two things: if it’s good for a person living alone, it will be good for everybody. And second, whether you want to or not, at some point in your life you will be all alone.”

She described the charter as a first step towards tackling this reality. “Our society has evolved but our policies haven’t kept up,” she said. “These are small steps but we have to start somewhere.”

• Annnnndddd just as I was set to hit "publish" on this post, a message popped into my inbox. From Parents Neighbours Daughter. A photo of the Littlest Princess (all smiles, as usual). Wearing the handknit sweater set that another neighbour (M., long dead now) had made for my Katie, 25+ years ago. (Full story here.)  "It fits!" she wrote. 
• I brushed away tears as I messaged her back: "M. would have loved that!"  
• Is this frickin' weekend over yet?  

#MicroblogMondays: A Christmas carol

We arrived at my parents' house on Saturday to spend the Christmas holidays with them.  Yesterday afternoon, Parents' Neighbours' Daughter (PND) dropped by with the two youngest of the three Little Princesses, including Little Princess #3, who will be 4 months old soon.  

While they were there, a group of carollers from my mom's church showed up. We crowded around the door as they serenaded us with a few songs. It's a small town, and many of them knew PND, who grew up here -- and (of course) they were thrilled to see the Littlest Princess. I'm not sure whether they had planned their repetoire in advance, but they launched into "Away in a Manger" for their second song. 

Even when I was a kid, that song was a never a favourite of mine... and I distinctly remember thinking, when I told my mom that I would rather not attend Christmas Eve service with her in 1998 (fresh from the loss of our Katie, who was due in November), that if nothing else, having to listen to the congregation singing "Away in a Manger" (a perennial choice for Christmas Eve service)  would finish me off. 

I will admit that as I looked at that adorable little girl in her mother's arms, staring in wide-eyed wonder at the people singing to her, I had tears stinging my eyes. 

But only briefly. (After that, they sang "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" and moved on to the next house, taking away a box of candy that my dad produced from the pantry.) 

'Tis the season...!  

How are you all doing?  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

(Gradually!) Letting go

My mom called me this afternoon:  Parents' Neighbours' Daughter was bringing newborn Little Princess #3 over to meet them, and she didn't have a gift for her yet. She wanted to know if I would be willing to let her have something from a box of things she'd collected --25 years ago now -- for Katie -- some of them gifts from family friends and neighbours, some things she'd collected herself. 

The box -- a little wooden chest -- sits on the floor in the bedroom where dh & I stay whenever we're there -- but I have never really looked inside to see what's in there. I've peeked a few times in the past and found it just too difficult to explore beyond the surface. (Also, part of me would like my mom to sit with me and tell me what was from who, etc.  But part of me shys away from that too. I know we would both probably cry.) I know there's a fuzzy bunting bag that I remember my mom excitedly telling me about when she bought it, during my pregnancy -- such a bargain!  And a Bunnykins cup and bowl.  (I just did a search, and I wrote a post about this little chest and its contents back in 2009.) 

One of the items in the chest is a little white sweater set, handknit with love by Mom's wonderful neighbour, M., who died some years ago, not too many years after we lost Katie.  M. lived across the street from my parents and next-door to PND & her family, and often looked after PND & her brothers when their parents were out or away on a business trip. PND remembers M. well, and if there's anyone who would appreciate and treasure this lovely gift, it would be her.  

My mom had approached me with a similar request before Little Princess #1 was born in 2011, 12 years ago now. (I found a post I wrote then too!) But back then, I was just not ready to let go anything that would have been Katie's.  

This time, I told my mother yes.    

Monday odds & ends

• Mel is on hiatus from her blog for a few weeks, so no #MicroblogMondays right now (which feels a little strange). 
• Yesterday was Little Great-Niece's baptism. Beyond the actual ceremony at the church, there is traditionally a family celebration at a restaurant or at home later on. We were not invited to the celebration :(  -- but then, neither were any of the parents' other aunts/uncles/cousins. We understand that you have to draw the line somewhere, especially when space is limited, and fair is fair.  
• But we did go to the church, and we brought a gift (a cheque, the same amount we gave to Little Great-Nephew, three years ago).  We wanted to go because we live RIGHT HERE, and of course we did not get to attend Little Great-Nephew's baptism either -- nobody did, because of covid restrictions, other than the priest, the parents, the baby and the godparents.  (And SIL, who knew the priest well and got a call a few minutes before the ceremony was to start:  "Come and watch your grandson be baptized!"  Luckily they live close by too!) (We did get to watch on the church's YouTube live feed!)
• None of the other other uncles & aunts showed up for the church only (and I think at least one of them lives relatively nearby). Of course, most of them have their own kids and grandkids, or the hope of grandkids in the future. Being there probably meant a lot more to us than it did to any of them.  
• Younger Nephew texted me this morning to thank us for coming to the church and for the gift -- and to apologize for not being able to include us later. He was worried that we might be offended.  Awww.  We have two amazing nephews.  :)  
• We did not wear masks. (Gulp.)  I brought one in my purse, but absolutely NO ONE was wearing one, including Younger Nephew & his wife, who are about the most covid-cautious people we know.  The church was large and airy and seemed well ventilated, and while there were a lot of people there, there weren't a lot immediately around us, which made me feel slightly better. Fingers crossed there are no repercussions! 
• I (finally!) went for a pedicure last Thursday afternoon -- for the first time in almost FOUR YEARS. (I did wear a mask then -- and so did the nail techs, more for the fumes than the germs, I think.) 
• The last time I had one was in September 2019, just before Older Nephew's Wife's baby shower (in advance of Little Great-Nephew's November birth).  I intended to get one before we headed west to my parents' house for Christmas that year, but ran out of time and -- well, you know what happened in early 2020.  
• Manicures, I can take or leave, but I do enjoy a nice pedicure -- especially during the summer, when my feet (not especially attractive to begin with) are on constant display, and pre-pandemic, I'd indulged regularly/monthly or so. I'm planning to go again in late September, before our planned weekend at dh's cousin's cottage. :) (Hopefully the weather will still be conducive to sandals by then, although that's not guaranteed...!) 
• Little Princess #3 (!) arrived this past weekend!  Her mom grew up across the street from my parents (hence, I refer to her here as Parents' Neighbours' Daughter, or PND, lol -- and her daughters as Parents' Neighbours' Granddaughters, but more often as the Little Princesses) and is now in her late 30s. Her two older sisters (who will be 9 & 12 soon -- hmmm, I may not be able to refer to them as the "Little" Princesses for much longer...!) are both very excited.  :)  And dh & I are looking forward to spoiling her when we see her!  
• She was born about a week past her due date, which (as you can imagine) made me VERY nervous -- so I was VERY relieved when my mom called to tell me she'd arrived and that all was well!  
• I haven't been keeping track of articles to pass along to you quite as closely during the past week or two (sorry!). But I did notice this great article from Elle Canada about the choice to have children -- or not.  :)  
• Also this from The Guardian: "‘I just assumed it would happen’: the unspoken grief of childless men." 
• Once again, the deadline for a submission to World Childless Week has come & gone without a contribution from me.  :p  I actually started drafting something but it was still WAY too long and unpolished to submit and I just ran out of time. I hope to see some familiar bylines there, though!  
• World Childless Week is Sept. 11th-17th this year.  You can already register for some of the webinars and other live events taking place that week -- visit the website and have a look at what's coming up!   

Recuperating!

 Last week was looonnggggg, very busy and very tiring!  

• (Last) Monday (April 3rd):  Dh spent several hours at the car dealership, waiting while a regular service check was performed. The brakes also had to be replaced. (Ouch!) 
• He also stopped on his way back home to see how his brother was doing. 
• Tuesday:  SIL took BIL for a lengthy medical appointment -- which meant we were up at 5 a.m. and at their house before 7:30 a.m. to stay with (and play with) Little Great-Nephew -- who was slightly more naughty/mischievous than usual (!)(but still really very good). Didn't get back home until 2:30 p.m. 
• Wednesday was an at-home day, but we were busy doing several loads of laundry. 
• I also received an email from my best friend from my working days:  her longtime partner has inoperable cancer.  :(  I tried to think of at least some small thing I could do or send to help, and wound up ordering something from Edible Arrangements to be delivered to her the next day.  
• Thursday: BIL & SIL had more medical appointments that took up most of the day. Thankfully, LGN's mom took the day off;  otherwise, we would have been on tap for another long day of babysitting. (We love the little guy, but he can be pretty tiring!!)  
• Instead, we spent the morning housecleaning.  
• I also spent half an hour on the phone when my friend called to thank me for the delivery.
• In the afternoon, we masked up and braved the mobs at the supermarket (all shopping for the upcoming long weekend) to pick up some things to take to BIL's on Good Friday, as well as for our own dinner on Easter Sunday. 
• At BIL's request, we also swung by ToysRUs to look for and buy a portable playpen/play yard that they can use for Little Great-Niece when she visits. 
• Good Friday:  We headed over to BIL & SIL's for dinner with both of our nephews, their wives and the kids (Little Great-Nephew and Little Great-Niece).  BIL's spirits were boosted considerably to be surrounded by his family and especially his grandkids... he made several comments about how wonderful they were, thanking the parents for this "beautiful gift" -- comments that would have wounded me deeply at one time, but (given the state of his health right now) I was able to (mostly) let it slide. Overall, we had a really nice time. 
• I did have a few other "ouch" moments, watching Younger Nephew's Wife open Little Great-Niece's Easter presents -- including lots of adorable tiny pink outfits from SIL and Older Nephew's Wife (as well as us!). She really is a cutie, though.  ;)  I got to hold her again for a while and she didn't fuss once. :) 
• Little Great-Nephew is still not overly impressed with his baby cousin (lol), but took several curious peeks into the playpen where she was laying while we had our meal, and even generously offered her some of his Easter chocolate. (But he was happy to take it back when we explained that she wasn't big enough to eat chocolate just yet, lol.)  
• Saturday got off to an early start with a 7:30 a.m. phone call from BIL (always an early riser and always surprised to find that we're not up yet! lol).  
• Later that morning, off we went, back to our old community, where we dropped by the cemetery with some Easter/spring decorations for Katie's niche, then for much-needed haircuts. And then to one of our favourite food stores to stock up on some items that we can't get hereabouts, before we headed back home. 
• Back at our condo, we put away the groceries, changed clothes, got back in the car and drove over to pick up BIL & SIL, and then to dh & BIL's aunt's condo. Earlier in the week, she'd called to say she'd been baking some traditional Italian Easter goodies and had some set aside for them. Her two daughters (dh's cousins) and one of her sons-in-law were there too, and we all had a nice visit over coffee. 
• After that, we went to Walmart to pick up a few things, and then to the supermarket for some takeout for dinner, which we brought back to BIL & SIL's to eat. 
• Finally got back home, exhausted, around 6:30 p.m. 
• Easter Sunday/Yesterday:  We were very happy to spend a quiet day by ourselves, lazing around at home!  We heated up a little pre-cooked ham, which was fine, and I made scalloped potatoes to go with it that turned out extremely well (yum!), and warmed up an apple pie for dessert. And dh flipped back & forth between the Masters golf tournament and the men's world curling championships final in Ottawa. 
• I called my mom. 
• I had a text from Parents' Neighbours' Daughter (PND) -- with an ultrasound photo!  Yes, she is expecting a THIRD baby, in August! -- a little brother or sister for the two Little Princesses (who will be almost 9 & almost 12 when their sibling arrives). (Yes, this one was a surprise! -- PND is now 39.)  She actually told us all at Christmastime, shortly after her pregnancy was confirmed -- but has not made any public announcements yet (albeit one will be forthcoming soon). 
• This morning, BIL & SIL had another lengthy (and early!) appointment -- so dh & I got up at 5 a.m. (!), aiming to be at their house when Older Nephew dropped off Little Great-Nephew for the day, around 7 a.m.  However, as I was gulping down my breakfast shortly after 6 a.m., Older Nephew called: both LGN and his mom are sick this morning, and he was staying home to take care of them both. :(  Disappointed not to get to see LGN -- but also glad we have another day to recuperate from a very busy week! (even if it did get a very early start!) 
• We do have to go out later:  dh's cousin's mother-in-law passed away last week, and visitation at the funeral home is today -- afternoon & evening sessions. We were going to attend in the evening, but now we'll go this afternoon.  
• Dh's birthday is tomorrow!  The agenda (and dinner menu) are entirely up to him. The weather is starting to get warmer and is supposed to hit 20C (!)/68F), so plans may include our first gelatos of the season.  :)  And the forecast is calling for 27C/81F on Thursday. (This is NOT normal...!)  

Here's to a quieter week ahead...!  Have a good one, everyone!  :)  

Annoying things & small pleasures

(The visiting the 80-something-year-old parents edition. ;)  )(with some repetition from this previous post...!) 

Annoying things: 

• Three televisions (plus a radio in the master bedroom), all on different channels/stations, at top volume. (It's not a big house, so it's very noticeable!) 
• Almost as annoying: multiple TVs on the same channel -- but there's a delay between TV sets, creating an echo effect...! 
• Expecting us to still hear them as they walk away into another part of the house, still talking...! (and then yelling back & forth...!). 
• My dad's love for true crime shows, courtroom dramas (including the likes of Judge Judy), and most of all, TV game shows ("The Price is Right," "Family Feud," etc. -- also at top volume) -- now including the Game Channel, which shows game show episodes from the 1970s (!). (This, at least, is mildly entertaining, if only for the glimpses of long-dead minor celebrities and horrendous haircuts and fashions...!) 
• Related: his habit of walking into the room and changing the TV channel that you were watching, without asking!  
• My mother's equally inexplicable love for David Muir and ABC World News Tonight (the nightly evening newscast, on at 5:30 p.m. their time) -- albeit she usually falls asleep while she's watching it...!  lol -- plus her insistence on having a snack to eat while she's watching it (even though dinner is cooking as she watches...). 
• Their constant bickering with each other :p  which has only gotten worse as they have aged. :(  (The pandemic hasn't helped, forcing them to stay home and spend much more time together than they're used to.)  I reminded them -- as I did last Christmas -- that I did not fly 1000 miles during a pandemic to listen to this...! 
• My mother's insistence on marching to her own drummer, which means (among other things) that (more often than not) she's up prowling around the house for half the night, sleeps in until noon-ish, has her breakfast cereal mid/late afternoon, and is always the last one to the dinner table -- usually right around the time the rest of us are all finishing up. 
• Even more annoying: the certainty that she would never have tolerated the same behaviour from my sister & me when we were growing up...! 
• Dinner is never earlier than 6:30 p.m. every night -- but more often 7 p.m. or later -- which would translate to 7:30-8 p.m. or later, our time. We usually eat around 5:30 -- which means we're often starving by the time dinner is eventually ready...!  
• Having one of them hand me the phone after a long-winded conversation ("Lori wants to say hello...") and having NO idea who I'm going to be talking with...!  (Usually one of my aunts.) 
• Having to move from various sofas, chairs, etc., at various times, because (like Sheldon on "The Big Bang Theory" -- one of their favourite TV shows) "you're in my spot."  ;) 
• My parents' (and particularly my mother's) resistance to selling their house and moving, despite the fact that aging, with increasing mobility issues, in a split-level (three levels) house with a large yard is obviously NOT an ideal situation...! (I think my sister & I -- both of us childless/free, albeit for different reasons -- are being a lot more realistic in our own preparations for aging in that regard...!) 
• Their seeming lack of awareness that, while are still "the kids" and yes, we are younger than they are, we're really not that young ourselves anymore, and WE can't easily do everything we used to do either...! (My younger sister just turned 60, which means she is a senior citizen by many definitions -- as am I, at 61, and her partner, at 62. Dh is 65, which IS a senior citizen by almost all definitions...!) 
• Not getting to spend much time with Parents' Neighbours' Daughter and her daughters (the Little Princesses, now 8 & 11) while we were there. The girls are in school during the week, of course -- and PND is a teacher. So not only are they busy during the week, they're spending their time in one of the settings where covid is known to be circulating (and masks are not required).  Plus -- not only is PND a teacher, she teaches in another nearby town, which has the dubious reputation of being one of the hotspots of anti-vax/anti-covid regulation activities in the province/all of Canada. :(  (Perhaps not coincidentally, it is also one of the province's covid hotspots...!)  Understandably, much as she loves them all, my mother is nervous about spending too much time in too close proximity to them. 
• Not getting to see my sister's new house while we were there.  :(   She was not feeling well when they picked us up at at the airport, and just wanted to get out to Mom & Dad's as soon as possible... and we didn't really have time to swing by there on our way to the airport when we were heading home. (I got the feeling they weren't particularly eager to have us visit either...! -- albeit I realize the house was probably still in a somewhat chaotic state!) 
• Not spending as much time with my sister as I'd hoped. She had the week off, but besides not feeling well and having some medical appointments as a result, they've been gradually moving into their new house while trying to sell the old one (it sold while we were there) -- so they spent most of the week in the city, returning to Mom & Dad's on the weekends. (I also suspect my sister felt that it was now MY turn to deal with our aging parents, since she's usually the one "on call" for the rest of the year... fair enough!)  
• Saying to Mom at dinner one night, "We'll have to ask [Sister] what she remembers about that when she gets here" -- and then completely forgetting what it was that we wanted to ask her about!!  (I still don't remember!)  

Small pleasures: 

• Being able to help out my parents with various things around the house. 
• Feasting on our traditional family Thanksgiving dinner, with lots of yummy leftovers. 
• Chocolate cake (from a mix) with Mom's caramel icing on top -- something I loved as a kid (and still do!). (It didn't last very long!) 
• Having my mom thank me for all my help in prepping for & then cleaning up from Thanksgiving dinner (particularly since my sister wasn't feeling well and wasn't able to help out as much as she usually does). 
• Nightly card games (and my dad's obvious pleasure in them). 
• Winning, now & then. ;) 
• Working on a jigsaw puzzle together (and being the one who put the last pieces in place!) 
• Having Dad bring home Timbits (doughnut holes) from Tim Hortons (which opened a location in town a few years ago, during the pandemic) for a treat on the first day we were there. 
• Gorgeous fall weather and fall colours for the first few days we were there. 
• Just being able to spend time together, especially after not seeing them in 9 months, and especially after spending so little time together over the past 3-5 years (the pandemic, my medical procedures this summer, FIL's 2018 illness & death, etc.).  :) 

#MicroblogMondays: Thankful

It is Thanksgiving Day here in Canada, and I'm at "home" in Manitoba with my parents this week, 9 months after my last visit at Christmastime. We had our big turkey dinner yesterday... so many good things to eat! :)  The weather so far has been gorgeous -- 22C/71F today, clear and sunny (albeit it is scheduled to turn colder later this week) -- and I'm glad I brought along a pair of capri yoga pants as well as the longer version and socks. ;)  Parents' Neighbours' Daughter has been by with the Little Princesses (now 8 and 11) and also to play cards (we've had several hotly contested games so far, with more to come.) 

Life is good. :)  

Amur maple trees in Mom & Dad's backyard. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Odds & ends

• Despite being careful about what I was eating (or so I thought), I had more gallstone issues this weekend (Saturday night) -- albeit not as bad as what I went through last weekend, and I felt better on Sunday. Yesterday was okay, albeit slightly unsettled. Counting down till I can see the doctor on Thursday...! 
• I am not keen to have an operation to remove them, particularly now with covid still hanging around (and on the rise again...).  Aside from having my wisdom teeth out at 30, and my d&c last year (to check out my fibroids), I've never had surgery before. But if that's what it takes... (just so long as it doesn't interfere with our Christmas plans...). Life is too short, and 20 years of dealing with this, on & off, is quite enough for me...! 
• Meanwhile, tomorrow is Little Great-Nephew's SECOND birthday!!  The family party is Saturday, but dh & I will go to see him at SIL's tomorrow (our usual day for visiting), bearing cupcakes. :)  I feel so very lucky we get to spend time with him like this (in a way that we didn't when the nephews were small, and we lived further apart and were all working). 
• Sometimes it pays to Google yourself. :)  It's been a while since I Googled myself/this blog, and I got an interesting result recently: would you believe I found one of my posts from February 2013 cited in a paper published in a recent issue of The Feminist Philosophy Quarterly (!) -- "What Am I, a Piece of Meat? Synecdochical Utterances Targeting Women" by Amanda McMullen of the University of Arkansas. (The cited post was titled "'I'm more than just a uterus'," referring to an article I'd read -- also cited -- titled "Ask about my job, but not my uterus.")  Pretty cool. :) 
• I've been on the phone with my sister recently, talking about Christmas and making some plans. (How is it already mid-November?? -- YIKES.)  She'd been joking about doing "double Christmas" this year to make up for last year, since Christmas 2020 was pretty much a washout for all of us -- but it's become increasingly obvious in recent years -- even without COVID-19 (still) putting a damper on things -- that my parents (now in their early 80s) simply aren't up to doing Christmas the way we used to celebrate it. 
• There will still be (some) presents, and stockings, and baking, and Sis & I will do the turkey on Christmas Day for dinner, like we did on Thanksgiving, and we will try to share the cooking for some of the suppers while we're there (IF our controlling father -- the usual cook these days -- will let us...!) -- but for the most part, things need to be scaled back from what we've done in the past. My mother in particular finds it increasingly difficult to handle all the extra people in the house, the commotion and the upheaval to her normal routines, and as for getting out to shop for presents, extra groceries and other Christmas stuff, that was becoming difficult for her, even before COVID added an element of outright danger into the mix...!  
• I suppose it was inevitable.  I know some people express surprise that we're "still" exchanging gifts & doing stockings, at our ages. "Christmas is for kids," right?  (NOT.) (Not only, anyway!) Maybe other people stopped doing gifts and stockings, etc., among the adults a long time ago -- but more often than not, they've had kids and now grandkids around to buy for and play Santa for, and kids and then grandkids to provide the entertainment, and eventually to host the celebrations and carry on the traditions. The buck now stops with me & my sister, and although our parents still treat us like teenagers sometimes, we are 59 & 60 -- hardly spring chickens.  I live too far away to host, and my sister's house is too small (600 square feet -- and, frankly, too cluttered) to do it. 
• True, we've had the Little Princesses (Parents' Neighbours' Daughter's kids)  around at Christmastime the past 10 years to inject some of that kid-flavoured excitement into the holiday (and PND herself for 25+ years before that...!) -- but they have generally just come for dinner & presents on Christmas Eve, and for stockings on Christmas Day or Boxing Day (and to be honest, that's usually enough!  lol).  This year, we will probably just invite them over for brunch & stockings/presents for the kids. 
• (By then, they will have been out of school for more than a week. It's also possible -- albeit not likely -- they may have received their first shots by then too -- approval for vaccinations for kids ages 5-11 is expected within the next week or two, which doesn't leave a lot of time before Christmas...!) 
• Personally, I feel like Christmas would be pretty dull if we didn't have at least a few things under the tree to poke at and shake and finally open, lol. (Plus, it's one way to get my parents some of the things they need, without them putting up too much protest...!) Even last year, dh & I filled stockings for each other to open on Christmas morning -- it was mostly chocolate, scrounged up from the supermarket or drugstore (since just about everything else was locked down because of COVID-19) -- but it was something to open and munch on later and make the day just a little more special and Christmas-y. And I know my dad still gets a kick out of opening presents. So we're still doing some presents & stockings, but on a much smaller and more modest scale than in years past.  
• It sucks that we're all getting older, and it sucks that COVID-19 is still hanging around to play Grinch and make things difficult -- but (knocking wood and crossing all crossables...) we'll be together again, and that will be the best present of all, I think...! :) 
• Potential monkey wrench in our plans for Christmas: dh has been called for jury duty, starting next Monday!! (Nov. 29th)  It's not actual jury duty, not yet;  he needs to report to the regional courthouse (which is a half-hour drive from here) as part of a panel, and potential members of juries for upcoming cases may be drawn from that panel. 
• Our flights have been booked, and that may be enough for him to be excused, or at least have his service deferred to a future date. I will provide him with copies of our itinerary & payment receipts to show the people in charge. 
• I also can't imagine there would be too many trials (assuming he got selected to serve on a jury) scheduled to run over Christmastime, right? 
• I received a questionnaire in the mail four years ago to determine whether I was eligible for jury duty here, but (so far...!) have not been called. 
• Similar to dh, I was summoned to report for jury duty in our old community/region back in 2015 -- but the panel was cancelled and I was excused just a few days before I had to report.   

#MicroblogMondays: Odds & ends from a visit "home"

• 

(Not exactly a "micro" post, but it's what I've got this Monday...!) 

• We spent last week visiting my parents in western Canada, for the first time in almost TWO YEARS (since Christmas 2019, pre-pandemic). While we were there, we also celebrated (Canadian) Thanksgiving.  Thankful doesn't even BEGIN to describe how I was feeling!   
• We had our big Thanksgiving meal on Thanksgiving Monday itself, and then feasted on leftovers for the rest of the week. My sister prepped the turkey and got it into the oven while our mother slept in. I got the stuffing/dressing ready. 
• As usual, my time online was limited/sporadic while we were there -- so I am waaayyyyy behind on blog reading & commenting, as well as on keeping up with all my social media sites. 
• It's not that we were terribly busy while we were there (especially with COVID-19 restrictions & precautions in place) but with six people in one small house, there's a lot of noise (not a lot of privacy) and a lot of interruptions. 
• BIL gave us some N95 masks the week before we left. We tried them on the night before our departure -- but decided not to wear them, even though all the experts advise they are the most effective. They were TIGHT -- I could feel mine digging into my face -- and while I felt like I could breathe in mine fairly well, they smelled, and they felt sweaty. I salute all the hospital workers and others who wear these things all day, every day. I couldn't do it!
• We double-masked instead, with a standard blue disposable medical mask worn under a cloth mask from Old Navy. We put them on before we entered the airport terminal where we were departing, and didn't take them off again until we left the terminal upon arrival, with the brief exception of when we had to show our faces to the airline staff for identification purposes before boarding. That was more comfortable/do-able, especially for a 2.5 hour flight. Add in time spent in the airports, pre- and post-flights, and we had the masks on for about 5 hours straight. 
• Masks are mandatory in the airport and on the plane, but you're allowed to remove them when eating and drinking. There were quite a few people around us in the departure lounge who apparently couldn't survive the prospect of a 2.5 hour flight without their Starbucks or Tim Hortons...!  
• I guess they deserve SOME slack, though, since our flight west left the airport at 8 a.m....!  We were up before 4 a.m. (gulp...!).   
• The weather was gorgeous the day we arrived, miserable for most of the week we were there (people blamed us for bringing the bad weather!), and gorgeous again the day before we left, lol -- 16C (about 60-61F), sunny and not a cloud in the sky.  We spent a lot of that afternoon outside, helping my dad do some yard & garden cleanup.
• My parents are now in their early 80s -- and definitely aging. I've noticed it on previous visits, of course, but the gap between visits has emphasized to me that they are slowing down. They both have some mobility issues (my mother uses a cane or walker outside the house and has a tremor in one arm/hand, my dad shuffles more than he walks and his balance is not good), and they REALLY need to get out of their early 1980s split-level house (three levels, with about 8 steps between levels to go up and down) with the big yard to keep up. (*I* found the stairs tough on my already-wonky knees, and I'm 20 years younger than they are!)  My mother in particular is resisting any talk about moving/downsizing, though...! 
• You will all remember my moaning and groaning about my long, shaggy hair during the time(s) salons were closed over the past 20 months (on & off) because of COVID-19...!  ;)  Let's just say I come by it honestly, lol.  
• My mother comes from a generation/culture where, as an adult woman, you get your hair done once a week. She's had a weekly appointment for a wash-and-set (or, these days, wash-and-style), wherever we were living, for as long as I can remember -- but that's gone by the wayside during this pandemic. And she's always worn her hair permed (and, until just recently, coloured). 
• She stopped colouring her hair shortly before our last visit, almost two years ago -- so the mostly grey/white hair was not such a shock to see -- but I can't remember the last time (if there ever WAS a time) I saw my mother without a perm -- and she is MISERABLE about not having one. I had to admit, she did not look entirely like herself (to me, at least). Without it, and especially without her weekly wash-and-style appointment, her hair is now stick-straight and flat. 
• On top of COVID restrictions/closures, her regular stylist recently retired because of health issues, and her next-favourite stylist (a former neighbour) is on maternity leave.  Another stylist she knows mostly cuts men's hair and has agreed to cut my mom's -- but she won't do perms because the chemicals bother her skin too much (one reason why she generally only does men these days).  
• So Mom's hair is, at least, neatly trimmed now that the salons are open again, even if it is also grey/white and flat (if only temporarily...!). 
• My sister had the week off work and was able to spend it all with us. She & her partner picked us up at the airport and dropped us off again when we were returning home. 
• My sister's partner/boyfriend/common-law husband is a computer techie who sets up and fixes computers for a living. I brought along both my current (HP) laptop and the one it replaced (an ASUS), which died on me last February. Miraculously, he was able to retrieve ALL my data (aside from just five photos).  Not bad, eh??!  He never charges us because we're family. Nevertheless, I left him my old computer to use for parts, etc. -- and Mrs. Santa Claus will be adding a little something extra to his stocking this Christmas...!  
• He also brought me a portable hard drive (I did pay him for that), and set me up with a program (called SyncToy) that will help me do regular backups more easily. (Lesson learned!!)
• I have some cleanup to do -- some of the files on my computer are now duplicates or partial duplicates, and some folders need to be combined -- but it's so much more preferable to NOT having the files at all...! 
• A couple of the neighbours dropped by briefly to say hello -- one stayed at the door and another wore a mask -- and we ventured out to the grocery store a few times -- but we mostly stayed close to home.
• Mom & Dad live 20 miles away from one of the province's/country's anti-vax/anti-mask hotspots (perhaps not coincidentally, also one of the province's current COVID-19 hotspots too). Normally, we would go there to shop (it's a much bigger town with a small mall, a WalMart and a large supermarket, among other retail outlets) and maybe have some lunch somewhere. Not this time! 
• We played cards almost every night we were there. Normally, Parents' Neighbours' Daughter (PND) would have joined us, at least a couple of times. She loves to play cards and has played with us from the time she could hold the cards in her hand and count her points. 
• Unfortunately, a few days before we arrived, one of Older Little Princess's classmates tested positive for COVID-19 (age 10/Grade 5 = too young to be vaccinated). As a close contact, Older Little Princess had to isolate for several days, including part of our time there.  
• Her isolation time also overlapped with Younger Little Princess's 7th birthday, and so plans for a birthday party gathering with friends had to be postponed. :(  Needless to say, Younger Little Princess was hugely disappointed.
• We did all drive over there one night with cards & presents, and that seemed to cheer her up. It was a brief drive-by visit -- we stayed in the car & rolled down the windows to chat. 
• Not only was Older Little Princess a little too close to COVID-19 for comfort, but PND/her mom herself teaches school in the anti-vax/COVID-19 hotspot just down the road that I mentioned above.  
• PND said she would love to play cards with us, but she would leave it up to us. (I think maybe she still felt a bit sheepish about what happened the last time we saw them...!). My mother was inclined to call her to come over, but both my sister & I felt (reluctantly) that it was better to be safe. I think PND understood. (I think. I hope.)  I hope things will be different/better/safer the next time we're there...! 
• While we were there, the U.S. government announced they will reopen the land border as of Nov. 8th. My American mother was ecstatic at the thought of making a day trip to her hometown, 20 miles south of the border, for the first time in almost two years, to check out things and visit a few people -- and one of her friends called the next morning, full of plans to head to their favourite casino in northern Minnesota as soon as they could book rooms at the hotel there (!). 
• Unfortunately, it's not quite that simple. Besides meeting vaccination requirements, all visitors to Canada crossing the border from the U.S. -- including returning Canadian citizens -- must present a negative molecular (PCR) test taken within 72 hours of departure. Rapid/antigen tests are not acceptable.  
• For short trips that are less than 72 hours, Canadian citizens are allowed to do their pre-entry molecular test before they leave Canada. 
• PCR tests for travel purposes are NOT covered by provincial health insurance (at least, not here in Ontario), and cost approximately $150-200, whether you take the test here in Canada or in the U.S.  That's a lot of money for people on a limited income, like my parents -- especially for a short cross-border visit. 
• From what I could tell via Google, most private insurance companies will not cover the cost of the test through their supplemental health insurance plans either.  
• News stories on this subject here and here, fyi. 
• We got back home last night -- and spent most of today recuperating, lol. Slept in, unpacked and took our suitcases back down to our storage locker, went to the supermarket to stock up on groceries again. 
• We're both wanting to see Little Great-Nephew, but will probably stay away this week, just to be on the safe side. 
• We are planning a return visit at Christmastime. (Crossing fingers & toes and knocking wood...!)  My dad wants us to stay through New Year's. We'll see...! 
• We had to turn on the heat this morning. It wasn't THAT cold in our unit (70F -- we normally keep the temperature around 72F at this time of year), but it was starting to get a little chilly...! 
• Tomorrow is supposed to be 20C/68F -- one last blast of summery weather to enjoy, before temperatures start to plunge again! 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

COVID is a sneaky SOB....

I do NOT have COVID-19.  (To be clear from the start.)  

Dh & I were both tested yesterday afternoon, both negative. 

But let's just say that we had a sobering scare... an encounter with COVID that was a little too close for comfort. 

Last Friday, I wrote about getting an unexpected visit from my Parents' Neighbours' Daughter and her family, on Wednesday night. 

Unfortunately, on Sunday night (four days post-visit), PND called me to say that COVID-19 might have been tagging along.  :(   They'd been spending time with her husband's cousin and his son at the family cottage in Quebec, as late as last Tuesday. They visited us on Wednesday night, and then spent all day Thursday at a local amusement park with the cousin and son, before heading home to Manitoba on Friday morning (arriving Saturday)... to the news that the cousin and son had both tested positive for COVID.  The boy was feeling under the weather by the end of day on Thursday, but everyone chalked it up to the heat, humidity and various vertigo-inducing rides they'd been on. 

By the time PND called me on Sunday night, we'd spent Saturday night with BIL & SIL, Together, we travelled across the city to visit stepMIL for the first time since early March 2020, just before the pandemic began. While there, we also saw her daughter and son (stepSIL & stepBIL), his wife and their son.  All the adults were double-vaxxed;  the boy, just turning 13, had had one shot but not both. 

PND told me they were all feeling fine. I realized I'd been having several days of annoying post-nasal drainage and a somewhat irritated throat as a result (I hesitated to call it "sore"). Granted, I've had the same or similar symptoms on & off all spring/summer, which I attributed to allergies, having the air conditioning running constantly, smoke in the air from forest fires up north and out west, etc.  

I was also exhausted when I woke up on Monday (yesterday) morning -- but needless to say, I did NOT get much sleep on Sunday night!  

As soon as the closest testing centre opened at 9 a.m. on Monday morning, I was on the phone, trying to get us both appointments. I spent half an hour listening to muzak (eyeroll) but finally got us both booked for 2:20 p.m. that afternoon. 

This was the same hospital/testing site where I'd had my first COVID test done last November, pre-d&c surgery. The weather was a whole lot hotter this time around, and the lineup a bit longer, but as in November, things moved quickly and efficiently. ("Busy these days?" dh asked the girl who took our information at the entrance. "Yes," she responded shortly.)  

En route to the testing centre, PND messaged me to see how we were feeling and to say they'd all just been tested. (She & her dh were both fully vaxxed, but the girls, at 6 & 9, are still too young.)  Younger Little Princess had endured a rough night, with vomiting and fever, but felt fine that morning. 

By the time we got to the testing site, I was over my initial feelings of panic and feeling a little calmer about it all... either we were positive, or we weren't, right? -- and even if we were, we're fully vaccinated, which meant our odds of staying out of the hospital were pretty good. I did several gargles with saltwater, took some ibuprofen, used some of my Saje Immune essential oils roll-on ( I believe it's called by a different name in the States, but I can't remember what at the moment)(I figured it wouldn't hurt -- it's mostly eucalyptus & tea tree oil) and went to bed early. I slept MUCH better, and when I got up around 7 a.m., a notification was already waiting for me about my result. 

NEGATIVE. 

(Dh's results took a little longer... 12 full hours longer (!) -- even though we had our swabs done at exactly the same time, in the same cubicle, by the same person!!  Go figure...?!)   

I messaged PND to let her know. She messaged me later that her entire family tested negative. Because they were close contacts of confirmed cases, they will still be isolating for a while, just in case. We realize it's still possible for us to develop symptoms and test positive over the next few days, so we'll continue to be careful too. She apologized for putting us through this stress and anxiety. (Appreciated.) 

As I lay awake Sunday night, tossing and turning, I thought about how this all unfolded. We'd been SO careful for SO long -- much more careful than almost anybody else we know.  While others have freely roamed around, seeing friends, eating out, shopping (within the restrictions for masking and social distancing in public places, etc.), we have mostly stayed at home, venturing out only for groceries, prescriptions and takeout on Saturday nights. We've only begun spending more time with BIL and family (unmasked) since getting vaccinated in April/July.  

I've never been much of a risk-taker. I was always the kid who was afraid to do risky or illegal things (smoke pot, for example -- although I'll admit, I did do my share of dumb stuff, growing up...!) -- because I KNEW that if anyone was going to get caught and suffer the consequences, it was going to be ME.  

And now, the very first time in 18 months that we'd let down our guard and spent time face-to-face, unmasked (just a half-hour, and partly outside, but still...), and traded hugs, with anyone outside of BIL & family, and let them into our condo, THIS happens.

The psychological burden -- the guilt -- over what we'd done -- the possibility of having infected someone else in turn, was worse than the thought of getting sick ourselves. We both thanked goodness that we'd last seen Little Great-Nephew on Wednesday morning, BEFORE getting the call from PND later that evening.  

WHY had I told PND to come over, despite my better instincts?  To be honest, her call came out of the blue, and I was caught off guard. They were on the road, less than half an hour away, en route to their hotel, 45 minutes further north of us. I had to say yes or no quickly. I knew she & her husband were fully vaccinated (although the girls were not).  I knew they'd been travelling (gas stations, motels, restaurants, public restrooms... = lots of opportunities for contact with the virus) and spent almost two weeks at the cottage, where (granted) they'd been spending a lot of time in the open air -- but also mingling with a lot of friends and relatives (vaccination status and masking habits unknown to us). Dh, despite his great affection for PND, was not enthusiastic about having them come here, even briefly. 

But the knowledge that she'd be passing within a mile or two of my front door -- the opportunity to see her -- someone from "home" who's like family, if not a blood relative -- after almost two straight years -- was too irresistible to turn down. When I was growing up, we lived in a town just off the Trans-Canada Highway (the major east-west road across the country) and always had friends and relatives passing through and dropping by to visit, and my parents always welcomed them and were gracious hosts. Despite Toronto being a major destination/travel hub, my opportunities to see distant family members and friends, let alone have them stay with me, have been far & few between, even pre-pandemic. 

Basically, my female "people-pleaser"/"good girl" instincts kicked in and drowned out the little voice inside that said, "Maybe this isn't a good idea... maybe you should just say no."  PND would no doubt have been disappointed if I'd said we weren't comfortable seeing them, but I think she would have understood. (I think.) 

We're still being cautious and watching for symptoms for the next few days, in which case we'll get retested. (We decided not to go visit Little Great-Nephew & SIL tomorrow morning as we usually do, just to be on the safe side. There is NOTHING more important to us than keeping that sweet little boy safe.) 

But for now, I AM SO RELIEVED.  

(I have absolutely no comprehension of how people can walk around without vaccinations, without masks, without concern for others, let alone their own health, while this virus rages on.)  

We dodged a bullet. It wasn't fun. 

I have no desire to go through this again.