Annoying things & small pleasures

Annoying things:  

• Maybe it's because I spent three weeks at my dad's, but it feels like this summer was especially short and went by WAY too fast.  :(  
• September arrived with a resurgence of summer heat & humidity on the 1st.  :p  Temperatures peaked at 26C, with the humidity making it feel more like 35C. (That's 79F and 95F.)  
• Crossing my fingers it will be gone by this time next week: repairs to our rooftop "chiller" unit, which provides air conditioning to the building, are scheduled then -- and we will be without a/c for a few days until the job is done...!  
• Like clockwork on Sept. 1st, I received an email from my family doctor with a requisition for bloodwork (to check my cholesterol levels in particular), six months after my last check-in. Sigh... I knew it was coming (if not exactly on the 1st!), but I am NOT looking forward to this...!  I've been doing the best I can, but with all the upheaval around my mom's death, extended time spent with my dad, etc., it's NOT been a great year, nutritionally or activity-wise...! 
• Remember the new sheets I wrote about, a little while back?  I said I was going to order a second set to keep in reserve, and I did that not long after I wrote that post.  Delivery was scheduled between Aug. 21st and 25th. 
• I didn't get any delivery notifications (not sure I signed up for them?), but I checked the tracking number with Canada Post on Monday, Aug. 24th -- and it indicated the package was delivered on Friday, Aug. 21st. ???  Some packages get left right outside our condo unit door, but anything that comes from Canada Post usually goes into a package locker in the mailbox area in the lobby downstairs, and they put a key to the locker in your mailbox. 
• Dh went downstairs to check -- but nothing was there??  And he told me he'd checked the mail on Friday or Saturday, and there WAS a key to the package locker then (he didn't know or remember I was expecting a package) -- so he put the key into the return slot and didn't think anything of it. 
• We figured there was some kind of mixup and my package was probably sitting in another locker. I called the property manager:  they don't have access to the mailboxes (rightly so), but she suggested we could put up a sign for the mail carrier by the boxes, or call Canada Post.
• We stopped at a postal outlet on our way back from the mall on Tuesday (Aug. 25th), and asked the clerk there for advice, and she gave me a 1-800 number to call. Of course it was all AI bots (eyeroll), and I couldn't get anywhere when I asked to speak to a human. I wound up going to their website and using the chatbot there to open an investigation. 
• I was told I'd hear from them one way or another within three business days. (After that, I'd have to contact the sender.)  It was SO annoying to know my package was very likely still in the building, but I couldn't get to it!! 
• Small pleasure: When we got back from visiting SIL and the Little Great-Nephews the next day around noon (Wednesday, Aug. 26th), my package was sitting outside our door!  I figure either Canada Post contacted the delivery person for our building and s/he brought it right to our door, or someone got our package by mistake and brought it over and left it there. 
• Either way, I finally got my new sheets, and I'm happy. :)  It's the first time I've had trouble with a package delivery since we moved here. 
• EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I've been at the mall lately (over the past six months, at least, possibly longer), I've walked by a certain spot in the mall where there are a couple of long, comfortable cushioned benches to sit on.  And there's always at least one, sometimes two or more young women there. (There were FIVE on a recent visit in August!!)  They often have some kind of duffel bag or even a small trolley in font of them. Their phones/cameras and sometimes even lights are set up on tripods, and they're pulling items of clothing out of the bag and holding them up in front of the camera, gesturing and talking rapidly.  It's clear they're some sort of online "influencers" (or wannabes), showing off their latest purchases. They take up valuable seating/rest space -- and even if there is an empty spot I don't want to sit there and listen to them or chance showing up in the background of their videos.  It's annoying as heck.  :p  
• American news anchors and reporters who can't pronounce "premier" or "Ontario." (On top of the even more annoying reasons why Ontario and its premier are in the American news lately in the first place...!)  Two times in two days this past week, I noticed CNN anchors mentioning "the preMEER of OnTAAHrio."  (It's "the PREEmyeer of OnTAIRio"!!)  Sigh.... 

Small pleasures:  

• Reading more again lately. I read 7 books in August (!) and I don't remember the last time I got through that many books in one month?? Not in recent years, for sure...!  
• Making plans to go for brunch on Tuesday (first day of school hereabouts)... because we can!  lol  :)  (One of the perqs of being childless, and retired!)  
• Spending time with the Little Great-Nephews, before Older LGN heads back to school  (We'll still be seeing his little brother most weeks -- he stays with his grandmother during the day while his parents are at work, as his brother once did.)  
• Also:  getting to see Older Nephew's dog last weekend, when he & the kids were at BIL & SIL's.  :)  Hadn't seen him in quite a while, and he was SO happy to see us!  :)  (He turned TEN this summer!)  

Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

April was still pretty grey & chilly -- there were still some snowflakes in the air (if not sticking to the ground) on April 19th (!) -- but towards the end of the month, the temperatures warmed up enough that we were able to open the balcony door on several afternoons.  The trees (finally) began budding out, and we could see some daffodils in the neighbourhood yards.  It's about time!!  We celebrated Easter with the family, dh had another birthday, and we made plans for another trip west to see my dad (coming up soon). 

Some of the things I/we did this month include: 

• Went to Michaels & Chapters (bookstore) to pick up a few more things for the great-niblings' Easter goodie bags. (April 1st) 
• Drove with dh into the heart of the city to have my eyes checked by the same ophthalmologist who did surgery on my right eye in July 2022. And was VERY relieved that further surgery is not needed (at least, not at this point in time)! -- see this post. (April 2nd) 
• Spent Easter with BIL & family, including SIl's two brothers and their partners/families -- 18 people in a not-huge house, including four children between the ages of 1 and 8. It was chaotic, but fun to see everyone, and dinner was excellent. 
• Shopped for groceries at the supermarket and picked up takeout soup or pizza for lunch (April 6th, 13th, 20th & 27th).  
• Went to the mall to walk & shop for a couple of hours (April 7th , 14th, 21st & 28th). 
• Our visits have been a bit shorter than usual this month (and my wallet is a bit fatter!  lol) -- Old Navy is closed for renovations until mid-June. Horrors!!  (lol)  
• Celebrated dh's birthday with takeout for dinner (Chinese -- see "Eating," below). (April 11th) 
• Returned to the mall in our old community for haircuts, lunch and shopping/walking. Also visited Katie at the cemetery. (April 17th) 
• Headed into midtown for follow-up optometrist appointments (April 22nd).  As I wrote here, new glasses (for both of us) are on hold for now, but we'll be back in October and we'll see then...! 
• Browsed at the bookstore and picked up a few things at the supermarket en route home (April 24th). 
• Drove with BIL & SIL to dh & BIL's cousin's house (the same cousin who hosts us at their cottage every year)(April 24th). He & his wife are both accountants and they do BIL & SIL's income taxes every year at this time! as well as Older Nephew's and his wife's.  (Dh does ours.) 
• (Dh went with BIL & SIL up to Older Nephew's on Sunday afternoon, April 26th, to have lunch, visit and deliver their completed income taxes. I stayed home to host a previously scheduled meeting of one of my online book clubs.)

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 2 books in April (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2026 books").  Year to date, I've read 8 books,  reached 20% of my Goodreads Challenge goal, and am currently 5 books behind schedule to achieve it by year end.  

• "The Bandit Queens" by Parini Shroff (the May selection for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club).  (4 stars;  my review.)
• "The Four Graces" by D.E. Stevenson -- re-read/readalong/discussion with my D.E. Stevenson group, which began Feb. 23 and concluded a few days ago. Original 2015 review here;  February 2026 review here. (4 stars;  latest review.)   

Current reads: 

• "Regeneration" by Pat Barker. Slow readalong with Footnotes & Tangents (April 3rd – May 14th). Currently 60% completed. 
• "The Forsyte Saga" by John Galsworthy. After mulling it over (see this post!), I accepted a commenter's suggestion to do a readalong together!  Currently 34% completed. 
• "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's last summer, where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  
• "The Ministry of Time" by Kaliane Bradley (June). (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  rated 4.5-5 stars.) 
• "The Hacienda" by Isabel Canas (July)
• "In Memoriam" by Alice Winn (August).  (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  4-5-5 stars.)  
• "Young Woman and the Sea" by Glenn Stout (September)
• "The Wedding People" by Alison Espach (October). (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  rated 4-4.5 stars.)
• "The Women" by Kristin Hannah (November)
• For my D.E. Stevenson group: Next books to be determined... 

• Footnotes & Tangents slow readalongs for 2026 include:
• "The Inheritors" by William Golding (June)
• "Treacle Walker" by Alan Garner (July)
• "The Children’s Book" by A.S. Byatt (September–December)

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): 

• "Trying" by Chloe Caldwell 
• "Atmosphere" by Taylor Jenkins Reid 
• "Woman on the Edge of Time" by Marge Piercy 
• "Silences" by Tillie Olsen
• "My Real Children" by Jo Walton 

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Watching: Actually watched a fair bit of new stuff this month! 

• "Finding Your Roots" (season 12) on PBS, Tuesday nights, which began in January.
• "The Forsytes" on PBS.  This started on March 22nd and ran for six  (6) episodes, ending April 26th.  I'm still reading the book ("The Forsyte Saga" by John Galsworthy -- see "Reading," above!), but (as I speculated in this previous post) the series is a "reimagining" of the novel and/or a sort of prequel to it, and not a strict adaptation -- highly soap opera-fied, and not particularly faithful to the period it's supposed to be set in (late 1880s/Victorian England). Somewhat entertaining, but... (I'll probably still watch season 2, though...!)
• "The Count of Monte Cristo" (on PBS, immediately following "The Forsytes" on Sunday nights -- it also started on March 22nd = 6 episodes of eight aired to date). Lost treasure, lost love and ridiculously complex revenge plots! with a huge cast of characters and subplots to keep track of (still not sure I have them all straight??).  But also jaw-dropping sets/locations and gorgeous costumes.  I am enjoying it!  
• Men's world curling championships in Ogden, Utah. Our Canadian rink, skipped by Matt Dunstone from Manitoba, lost the gold medal match to Sweden on April 4th.   

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: (as of April 30th): 
• Heardle 60s: 74.1% (918/1239, 374 on first guess), down 0.1% from March 31st. Max streak: 21. 
• Heardle 70s: 74.9% (738/985, 412 on first guess), down 0.4% from March 31st. Max streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s:  41.5% (348/838, 131 on first guess), down 0.3% from March 31st. Max. streak: 5.
• Heardle 90s: 33.3% (313/939, 81 on first guess), down 0.1% from March 31st. Max. streak: 9. 
• NYT Connections: 
• By March 31st, I had completed 594 games, won 89% of them (unchanged since Dec. 31st), including 317 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 18 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (unchanged from Dec. 31st). Maximum winning streak:  45 (unchanged since June 30th).  Current streak: 3.  
• As of April 30th, I'd played 624 games and won 89% of them, including 337 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 18 where I got the most difficult/purple category first. Maximum winning streak: 45 (unchanged since June 30th). Current streak: 11. 

Listening: To a couple of episodes of The Full Stop and Culture Study (with Anne Helen Petersen). 

Following:  The journey of Artemis II around the moon and back to earth, earlier this month -- with Canadian astronaut Jeremy Hansen on board, as well as the first black man and first woman to orbit the moon (and a childless woman at that!).  From its launch on April 1st to its textbook perfect splashdown on April 10th, this was a joy to follow, and a much-needed feel-good story at a dark time in the world... 

Eating/Drinking:  

• Over the past 18 months, we've been trying to eat healthier and lower our cholesterol -- and avoid having to take (more) medication -- since some less-than-stellar bloodwork results for both of us in fall 2024 and then again (for me) last November (2025, as mentioned in November's Right Now post). 
• I ended April 1.4 pounds less than when the month started.  Overall, I'm down more than 14 pounds since late October 2024 -- close to my lowest weight in more than a decade -- and more than 26 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight  (in August 2021). 
• (Dh is down more than 18 pounds overall since fall 2024.)
• We celebrated dh's birthday on April 11th with takeout from a popular Chinese chain restaurant outlet (not the healthiest stuff, but we hadn't had it in quite a while!). We usually get their "Dinner for Two," which includes 2 egg rolls, sweet & sour chicken balls, chicken chow mein, and fried rice. (Also fortune cookies, of course!)  It's a ton of food and we always have enough leftovers for another complete dinner later in the week!  
• Older Nephew's Wife sent home some leftover burgers, hot dogs and pasta salad with dh when he went up there with BIL & SIL for lunch last Sunday (while I hosted an online book club Zoom). Dh thinks pasta salad (or cold pasta anything) is gross (likewise bean salad)... his loss!  (I don't care for the peppers & cucumbers in it, but I just pick those out and eat the rest!)  
• We indulged in takeout pizza slices or soup from the supermarket, once or twice a week, for lunch and/or dinner. Saturday night takeout dinners this month included teriyaki rice bowls from the supermarket, and rotisserie chicken (baked potato on the side for me;  fries for dh) from Swiss Chalet.    
• Trying to use up what's in the fridge/cupboards as much as possible, and minimize new purchases, leading up to our upcoming trip.  We'll do a big trip to the grocery store to restock when we return.  

Wearing: The weather was mild enough overall that, by mid-month, there were several days when I was able to ditch my socks and go barefoot in the house (if not outside...!), plus switch from long to short sleeved T-shirts and long to capri-length yoga pants (again, not outside yet!). :) 

Buying (besides books, lol):  Plane tickets for our next visit to my dad, next month (at a thankfully/relatively -- and surprisingly, considering current world events and their impact on fuel prices -- reasonable price).  

Also, not exactly "buying," but we both had to pay income taxes (ouch!). 

Planning:  Our next trip to Manitoba to see my dad, and help my sister with the ongoing house cleanout and setting up Dad's new apartment (he took possession on April 30th). Sis has stacked a pile of boxes in the closet of the room where we stay for me to go through while I'm there (and sent me a photo -- see here!)(eeeekkkk....!).  

Missing:  Dh's cousin's daughter's wedding in July. We had to RSVP this week. It's the same week as my dad's 87th birthday and what would have been my parents' 66th wedding anniversary, and I think I need to be with my dad then.  I would have liked to go, though -- I have a nice dress I could have worn, and it's always fun to see everyone. (Plus, it's being held at a barn venue!! -- which is a real departure for dh's family's weddings!  I'm curious!  lol)  

Prioritizing/Trying: To tackle some of the "stuff" in my own house/condo (see above for my inspiration!  lol).  Granted, we did get rid of a lot of stuff when we moved, 10 years ago -- but there's a lot that I haven't looked at/re-evaluated since then, and there's more that can be done...!  (And I'll likely be bringing at least a few more things home with me from my Dad's house too!)  I've made progress on whittling down the magazine pile under the living room coffee table (yay me?). 

Loving:  When I actually get a good night's sleep!  ;)  

Noticing: The trees are starting to bud with leaves and blossoms!  And I've seen some daffodils, in the yards of the neighbourhood houses. Yay!!  :)  

Appreciating:  Being able to have the balcony door open, even slightly, on several days this month. 

Wanting:  I feel like I'm always writing this (lol), but -- what I just said above aside -- I want nicer weather!  I am sick of this winter!! 

Wondering:  When it's going to be warm enough outside to warrant a trip to the gelato shop??  ;)  

Hoping:  That we can get downtown to the AGO (Art Gallery of Ontario) to see the Paul McCartney photo exhibit that's on there until June 7th. (Which might be difficult, given that we'll be away for two of the remaining weeks the exhibit is on...) I don't think I've been downtown since I met Mel and her family for dinner, two summers ago! 

                        

Feeling: Glad that it's (finally!) starting to feel at least a little bit like spring (even if it's taken its sweet time getting here...!).  A little dazed at how quickly the days, weeks, and this year generally so far are passing by. (How is it May already??)  Sad that this upcoming visit will likely be the last time I spent with my dad & sister in our family home of the past 42 years. :(  Missing my mom. :(   

Annoying things & small pleasures

Annoying things: 

• The opthalmologist I saw last Thursday encouraged me to start using lid wipes again to keep the bacteria that contributes to rosacea at bay. I'd stopped using them (on the advice of my optometrist) when my eyes were giving me so much trouble last fall. They contain tea tree oil, and the optometrist thought they were exacerbating the issues I was experiencing.  We eventually got the problem under control, and all has been well since then. 
• So I used the wipes again on Friday morning (the day after I saw the opthalmologist), and there was some mild irritation. I chalked it up to the dilating drops I'd received the previous day, which left my eyes feeling somewhat raw and strained.  But within hours of using the wipes again on Saturday, my eyes promptly became very irritated, and the lids red and puffy. Not quite as bad as they'd been last fall, but not great either. 
• So I stopped using the wipes, AGAIN (probably for good this time...!). I'll be seeing the optometrist for a follow-up in about two weeks' time, but until then, I increased my use of the topical ointment she'd prescribed for me last fall (from once to twice a day, which is what I started out with when I was having issues last fall). 
• They're not quite 100% yet, but my eyes ARE looking and feeing somewhat better again. Thank goodness!  
• Realizing the new TV adaptation of Margaret Atwood's "The Testaments" (a sequel to "The Handmaid's Tale") is only available on a streaming network (Disney Plus, which we do not have).. (I watched "The Handmaid's Tale" on the Bravo channel, which we get on cable. It was/is also available on the Crave streaming network). 

Small pleasures: 

• Getting a surprisingly (relatively) good deal on airfares for our next trip to see Dad. 
• Checking out new potential ancestors for dh via Ancestry DNA's ThruLines and common ancestors features. (An easy way to lose a few hours!  lol)  
• Sunshine!! Two days this week!! It's been horribly grey for so long ( = annoying thing). Clear, sunny weather in the winter/early spring can often mean it's cold outside -- and it has been that! -- windchill was -15C when we woke up Tuesday morning! -- but it's somewhat sunny and milder today -- we have the balcony door partly open -- and it's supposed to start warming up over the weekend and into next week. (It's ABOUT TIME!!) 
• Artemis II.  :)   I got choked up when Jeremy Hansen announced the crew wanted to name a newly mapped crater after Commander Reid Wiseman's late wife Carroll. (I think everyone did!)  That group hug after the announcement...  :)  
• Also Artemis-related:  I had a good giggle when I read that the crew broke out some maple cream cookies during the time they were incommunicado on the far side of the moon.  :)  
• Small annoying Artemis-related thing:  I was sadly disappointed by the lack of Pink Floyd references I saw on social media regarding Artemis's trek to the dark side of the moon  ;) --  (although when I posted a complaint about this on Facebook, a cousin promptly responded to by posting this meme to my feed...!  Thanks, F.!)  

A few odds & ends

A couple of articles/posts to share: 

• Tracey Cleantis Dwyer -- formerly at "La Belette Rouge" (a blog which no longer exists) -- has returned to blogging via Substack!  Check out "The Next Happy Project." 
• I highly recommend Tracey's 2015 book "The Next Happy," which is all about letting go of the life you had planned -- something Tracey, who is childless after infertility, knows a lot about. 
• Disclosure:  I'm in the book. :)  I answered survey questions for Tracey as part of her research.  I also reviewed the book on my blog not long after it was published, here. 
• This Sunday, March 15th is "Mothering Sunday" in Britain, and The Full Stop community and podcast has published a post on Linked In with suggestions for "Navigating Mother's Day When You're Childless Not by Choice." (Also very applicable for Mother's Day in May, here in North America & elsewhere in the world.)  

Non-ALI/CNBC related:  

• It wasn't just our imaginations -- this winter really was as cold and snowy as it seemed, the Toronto Star confirms by looking at the historical weather data.  
• The time changed last weekend -- and it struck me that my mother was no longer here to complain about it (as she always, always did!).  Wherever she is now, I know it's a place where time is meaningless. Enjoy, Mom.  :)  
• This coming weekend (Sunday night) is the Oscars. 
• I used to follow the Oscar races like a hawk (I even won the office Oscar pool once!), and tried to see as many of the nominated movies as I could (the ones that interested me, anyway).  These days, I think I am only aware of "Hamnet" (with its ties to a well-known book and its grief/child loss theme -- not to mention Paul Mescal, lol), but not many of the other nominees.  
• Mel recently posted about "The Last Movie I Saw;" I think the last one I saw in-theatre was "1917" (which was very good, and one of those movies that really deserves to be seen in a theatre). The pandemic began not long after that and, well, you know the rest. We used to go to the movies, perhaps not every Sunday, but usually at least one Sunday a month. Many things have returned to some form of normalcy since then, but we still haven't been back to the theatre.  I am not sure how we got out of the habit, but we did.  I do miss it sometimes. 
• Nevertheless, I will be watching on Sunday.  :) 
• This will be my first Oscar night without my Mom. :(  She always watched, and when I was growing up, she would let me stay up late -- on a school night! -- to watch with her. I more recent years, I would always call her before the show started (even though she hadn't been to a movie theatre in years either). 
• I'm sure she will be watching from wherever she is now.  And I hope there's a bottomless bucket of popcorn, and that it doesn't bother her stomach, as it did in her later years (to the point that she had to stop eating it).  

2025 Year in Review

In 2023, I tried a new "Year in Review" format. It was shorter and easier to write than what I had done in previous years, and felt fresher -- so I've kept it since then. :)  The format/list of questions came from the long-gone scrapbooking magazine Creating Keepsakes, January/February 2013 issue (!). 

*** *** *** 

1) What was the coolest thing you did or that happened to you last year?

This was actually a tough one...!  I can't think of too much that was "cool" that we did in 2025 (isn't that pathetic??).  

One thing that came to mind:  en route to dh's cousin's cottage in September, we made a short side trip to Petroglyphs Provincial Park, which was pretty cool to see.  (It's considered a sacred spot to the Indigenous people, so no cameras/photos allowed.)  

2)  What major milestone(s) did you or a loved one experience last year?

Dh & I celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary in July! Nobody remembered :p  and the trip I wanted to take never materialized... but 40 years is still 40 years, right?  We did go out for steaks.  :)  

3)  What was your favourite celebration last year?

The great-niblings' birthday parties were all fun and I'm glad we didn't miss any of them!  (Even if I did get horribly sick after Little Great-Nephew #1's party...!)  

4)  What was your most memorable holiday of last year, and what made it special?

Christmas with my family is always memorable, even when it's on a much smaller scale than our Christmases of yesteryear. I am well aware that my time with my parents is not unlimited, and so I appreciate the opportunity to spend time with them while I can -- especially for holidays like Christmas!  (Even when they drive me nuts sometimes...!)  (We're still here, and they've been bickering a little less than they were this summer, which has been nice...!  lol) 

The holidays we spent with BIL, SIL, the nephews and their families -- including Easter and (Canadian) Thanksgiving, as well as family birthday parties -- were very special too. It's always fun just to be together, eat good food and see the kids. 

5)  What family vacation or activity was the most memorable, and why?

Our annual cottage weekend in September with BIL, SIL, dh's cousin & his wife, and (new this year) another one of dh's cousins, was a lot of fun (as usual).

Here's to (hopefully!) travelling further afield in 2026...!! 

6)  What big goal did you or a loved one achieve or work toward last year?

I can't think of anything for this category??   

7)  What's something that changed in your life last year?  (something new, a loss, etc.)

Both dh & I were told in late October (2024) by our family doctor that our cholesterol levels had reached concerning levels. (I'd been warned last year that my numbers have been trending upward over the past few years --and that yet another prescription might be in my future :( ).  By eating better and trying to be at least a little more active, we were able to get much better bloodwork results in January (2025). Unfortunately, my November bloodwork showed that my numbers were up again :(  -- so one of my new year's resolutions will definitely be to refocus my efforts and get my numbers down again by the time I have to repeat the bloodwork in March...!  (After we get through the Christmas holidays, of course...! lol) 

8)  What was your favourite movie, book, album or song from last year, and why?

We haven't been to the movies (in theatre) since early 2020 (before the pandemic began) :(  and I don't follow music the way that I used to either. I will be posting my 2025 Reading Year in Review soon, and as I say there, it's hard to pick one favourite book -- but I've listed a few! 

9)  What world, national or local event or news story affected you most?

World: The return of the Orange One, south of the border. I am so, so tired of him and his cronies (and I'm not even American! -- although this story obviously has huge implications for my country -- see below). 

National: The U.S. president's subtle and not-so-subtle threats toward my country's very existence, the wave of patriotism it has inspired, and the impact it had on our federal election in April. 

Local:  The Conservative government (inexplicably) won yet another majority government in our provincial election last May. I will give the premier credit for standing up to the Orange One, but he's really just a lighter, folksy-er shade of orange himself:  the populist rhetoric, the policies and contracts that favour big business donors and ignore the local & environmental impacts, the blatant corruption... 

10)  What life lesson did you or a family member learn and take to heart last year?

Every year for the past few years, my answer to this one has been the same:  Life is short, and tomorrow is not promised. I am more and more aware of this with each passing year...! Too many people I knew and/or loved -- many of them my own age or younger -- departed this life in 2025, including (but not limited to) fellow blogger Bamberlamb, my friend M. from our pregnancy loss group, my cousin, not just one but two of my high school classmates (within about two weeks of each other this summer), as well as our English teacher, and most recently, my dear friend of 41 years, R.  

#MicroblogMondays: Odds & ends

• 
  Lana Manikowski at "Infertile and Childless. So Now What?" nails it in "The Grief That Comes Without a Funeral." (Italics & boldface from the original text.) 

Here’s what few people understand: infertility grief isn’t just about a failed IVF cycle or a miscarriage. It’s about the futures we already built in our imagination. The baby names we whispered. The vacations we dreamed of as a family. The family photos we pictured on holiday cards. Every negative test isn’t just a single “no.” It’s another lifetime quietly slipping away, one no one else even knew existed. That’s why it feels so heavy, because you’re mourning futures no one else will ever acknowledge. There are no condolences. No casseroles. Just silence.

• "On the Outside," Y.L. Wolfe tells it like is: "Childless Women Do Not Need Your Unsolicited Advice."  Subheading:  "Yes, we've considered all the options, and no, we don't want to talk about it with strangers."  PREACH!! 

Small excerpt: 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The truth is, childless women make people uncomfortable. We’re living proof that life doesn’t always go the way you want it to. Our very presence inspires people’s worst fears and thus, I suspect, they feel unconsciously desperate to comfort themselves by acting like this is a problem that could easily be fixed.

• Y.L. Wolfe's writing is always great, but (as an amateur genealogist) I especially loved this article she wrote for Medium (which may or may not be paywalled?):  "The Unexpected Branching of a Childless Woman’s Family Tree." (Subhead: "Expanding the meaning of legacy for women who didn’t get the chance to have children.")  Excerpt: 

I don’t believe for a moment that our line ends here. That our existence won’t still reach as far into the future as it does into the past.

Branches will grow out from us, whether we have children or not.

and 

It’s important to remember that legacy isn’t just about biology...  you’re passing on parts of yourself to everyone you come across, whether you are related to them or not... there are countless ways to pass down your family values, your ideals, your wisdom, mostly in a manner that cannot be quantified or measured.

In fact, you’ll likely never know the impact you have made on the people in your life and the ripple effect that will have long after you are gone, on people you’ll never meet.

Legacy is a much bigger concept than we’ve been led to believe.

• Ali Hall at "Life Without Children" ponders "Why We Need To Change the Language Used for People Without Children" (subhead: "And all the ways 'childfree' and 'childless' are used against us"). (Not sure I like her proposed alternative... the quest continues...!)  
• This wasn't the first post I read musing about language choices for those of us living without children, and I'm certain it won't be the last...!  In fact -- the third post I ever wrote for this blog -- back in November 2007! -- explored a similar question:  "Am I childLESS or childFREE?" 

• Well worth a listen:  Jody Day chats with Zoe Noble of  'We Are Childfree" (which is both a Substack and a podcast, available on many podcast platforms, such as Spotify). 

• Not ALI-related, but another thoughtful & interesting piece from Charlie Angus at "The Resistance," about the most famous political assassination in Canadian history (not that there have been a lot of them -- and thank goodness for that!). I thought some of you might find it interesting! 
• As I mentioned in this post from 2017 (about a trip to Ottawa), as a high school senior taking part in the Rotary Club's Adventure in Citizenship program, I was being driven to Parliament Hill on the first morning, and the man driving me pointed to a street corner in passing and said, "Over there is the spot where where they shot D'Arcy McGee."  I had only a hazy idea of who D'Arcy McGee was at that point, but his remark stuck with me, and I looked him up when I got home, (We passed by the plaque marking the spot on that 2017 trip -- the same one pictured in the Substack post -- and I took a photo of it. We also had dinner at D'Arcy McGee's pub, also mentioned and pictured in the post.)  
• I vividly remember the other assassination mentioned, which took place 100+ years later, in October 1970 -- the "October Crisis," in which separatist terrorists kidnapped Quebec cabinet minister Pierre Laporte and British diplomat James Cross in Montreal, and murdered Laporte. (Cross was released.) I was 9 years old at the time, and one of my school friends told us Laporte had been beheaded (!). Her father was an RCMP officer, so we figured she would know. (He wasn't; the poor man was strangled.)  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Odds & ends

• Today is the first day of school hereabouts! 
• Little Great-Nephew (the older/original one) is starting Grade 1 today!!  (eeekkkk....)  The one back-to-school photo I really wanted to see, lol. ;)  
• I heard a startling statistic on CNN on Labour Day morning:  I've always traditionally thought of  the day after Labour Day as the first day of school -- and I think that's fairly common in a lot of places across Canada (although in a few places we lived, we went back for at least a few days, the week before that). 
• I know that's not always the case in the U.S. -- but apparently only 15% of schools in the U.S. start after Labour Day -- the other 85% start before (i.e., in August). Wow! 
• (Of course, the school year ends in mid/late May for many U.S. schools too. Most of our schools go right to the end of June.) 
• I had proposed to dh that he & I mark the day by going out for brunch (because, as an older/childless couple with no kids to send off to school today, we can!).  
• However! Younger Nephew & his wife recently bought a house (and sold their two-bedroom townhouse near us). Moving day is actually tomorrow/Wednesday -- and dh is on call to help with that (although they have hired movers) --  but they take possession of their new home and get the keys today, so he's gone out with BIL (who has taken the entire week off work to help!) to move a few things over there today too. Sigh. 
• He's promised me brunch later in the week. 
• Recent related back-to-school rant here. 
• We watched "The Thursday Murder Club" movie on Netflix the day it was released (last Thursday, Aug. 28th). I enjoyed it hugely. (Dh enjoyed it too.)  Obviously, there's a lot from the novel that it left out, but it captured the flavour nicely, and you can't beat that cast! (or that setting!)   
• The school/church (church!! FFS...!!) shooting in Minneapolis last week (where I have a number of close relatives) brought back memories of other school shootings in the U.S.  Columbine, Parkland and Sandy Hook were mentioned frequently in the media and in social media posts I saw. 
• For parents of other children killed in school shootings, each new shooting obviously stirs up painful memories. On Threads, Nelba Marquez-Greene, mother of Ana Grace Marquez-Greene, a first-grader who died at Sandy Hook, posted sadly, "Why does Ana always get erased in people’s Sandy Hook talking points?"
• At the time Sandy Hook happened, Mel wrote about focusing on remembering just one of the young lives among the many snuffed out prematurely on that terrible day. As I wrote in a blog post at the time, I chose Ana.  As this article explains, Ana spent spent about half of her far-too-brief life in the city of Winnipeg in my home province of Manitoba, and had only recently moved back to Connecticut when she died. Her father is a jazz musician who taught at the School of Music at my alma mater, University of Manitoba.  I still think about her whenever Sandy Hook comes up. 
• Many in the comments assured her they had not forgotten Ana -- including me. "Dear Nelba," I posted, "when Sandy Hook happened, someone in one of my online communities pointed out that while it's sadly hard to remember the name of every child who died, perhaps each of us could pick one child to focus on & remember. I chose to remember Ana because I'm originally from Manitoba and learned of your ties to Winnipeg. I thought of her again yesterday. ❤️" 
• My comment has received almost 800 (!!!) likes to date.  
• Ali Hall at Life Without Children has assembled a great list of resources for childless and childfree people, including online communities, therapists, books, podcasts, movies, Substacks, social media accounts, notable dates and research/science. that she updates regularly  Many of the sites listed were familiar to me, but others were not, and they might be new to you too. I've added it to my own list of "Childless/free boards, sites & other resources" on the right-hand side of the pages here, near the bottom. Check it out! 
• Sue Fagalde Lick has signed off from her "Childless by Marriage" blog with a farewell post after exactly  18 (!) years of writing there (since August 27, 2007).  Luckily for us, she'll still be writing and speaking about childlessness in other places online. Go thank her for everything she's done to draw attention to a less-understood part of our community.  

A "new" approach? I think not...

Mel recently mentioned a post from Infertile Phoenix, in which Phoenix describes coming across her old basal temperature charts from her TTC days. She (Mel) was wondering if people still read Toni Weschler's book ("Taking Charge of Your Fertility"), which many in the TTC community regard as the "bible" -- or did, during my own TTC days -- and which promotes fertility awareness through natural methods such as charting your morning temperature with a basal thermometer. 

I told Mel in the comments that it's still out there! -- I've seen copies of the latest edition in bookstores recently -- and I remember reading an article not too long ago about it, and how it (like so many other things these days, unfortunately…) has become politicized, much to Weschler's dismay. This link is, unfortunately, behind a paywall (at least it was for me) -- and Pocket, which used to be my first stop in trying to get around paywalls, is now defunct -- but you can still read some paywalled articles via the archive.today website.  Try this link from there. 

I wrote about TCOYF and how I used it back in 2018. Obviously, it did not work for me! (nor did several subsequent rounds of clomid & IUIs) but I am still glad I read it and gained that better knowledge of my body and how it works. I would still highly recommend the book for all young women, whether or not they want children or are experiencing fertility issues. (Men should read it too!) 

I was reminded of these posts and articles when I saw another recent article from the New York Times about a "new" (new??) "natural" approach to infertility called "restorative reproductive medicine" (gift link), which is being promoted by both Christian conservatives and the Make America Healthy Again movement. TCOYF is not mentioned, but its methods would likely be included in such an approach. The concept proposes to address what proponents describe as the “root causes” of infertility, while leaving IVF as a last resort. 

"Physicians who specialize in the approach analyze patients’ diet and exercise habits, while helping them “chart” their menstrual cycles, a process that can help expose certain reproductive health conditions, like endometriosis, that may lead to infertility," the article says. "Practitioners treat reproductive health conditions but do not offer I.V.F." 

Although President Donald Trump has signalled his support for IVF and making it free of charge, Republicans at both the state and federal levels are now busy promoting measures to fund "restorative reproductive medicine," and to require insurance companies to cover it -- while continuing to downplay and dither over IVF.  

Of course, what they're promoting is far from "new" for anyone who has experienced infertility. Most of us who have ventured down the infertility treatment path have been there, done that, bought the T-shirt  -- charted, felt for the position of our cervix, noted our "ewcm" (and guzzled gallons of Robitussin cough syrup in an attempt to increase it), lay on our backs with our legs up in the air after sex, sworn off alcohol, changed and watched our diets (ate copious amounts of pineapple), taken extra vitamins, tried to lose weight,  tried yoga, meditation, acupuncture, essential oils, "natural supplements," crystals, and goodness knows what else -- and undergone umpteen ultrasounds, endometrial biopsies and sometimes laparoscopies and more invasive surgical procedures, before moving on to trying clomid and IUIs (with and without using fertility drugs) -- and only THEN moving on to more intensive (and costly) interventions like IVF. 

Leading medical organizations agree:  

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists called restorative reproductive medicine “unproven” and “not a medical term,” stressing that many patients have already tried to chart their cycles, treat underlying conditions and make lifestyle changes by the time they arrive at an infertility clinic. While those methods may work for some, several leading I.V.F. doctors said people experiencing infertility often required more help — and months or years spent on restorative reproductive medicine could delay the I.V.F. they would ultimately need in order to conceive. Because female fertility declines with age, doctors said those delays could jeopardize a woman’s ability to get pregnant.

“They’re underestimating how hard we try to avoid I.V.F.,” said Eve Feinberg, a medical director of fertility and reproductive medicine at Northwestern Medicine. “When people walk into my clinic, we don’t do I.V.F. tomorrow. We try to figure out other things.”

Many readers agreed in the comments. "Only someone who has never gone through any fertility treatment would think the techniques described here are something new," the top-rated comment points out. "They are just the first steps in fertility treatment. If they worked for everyone, we wouldn't have IVF." 

Another highly rated comment (and there are lots of others in the same vein):  "I don't see any "restorative" treatments discussed in this article that focus on the MALE half of infertility..." 

Senator Tammy Duckworth, a Democrat from Illinois, is blunt: 

“They want to delay and delay and delay and essentially come up with fake science and ways to delay so that people can never actually get to the I.V.F. solution,” said Ms. Duckworth, who has had two children through I.V.F.

I'm all for better educating people about their bodies and how they work, and for more comprehensive fertility investigations at a younger age. (While I adored my longtime family doctor -- who recently passed away -- when I was 36 and expressed concern that I wasn't getting pregnant after more than a year of trying, he basically patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry it will happen.  It actually did happen when I was 37 -- but we all know how that played out...! And I never got pregnant again, with or without assistance.)  

However, my suspicion is the powers that be will promote this "new" concept -- which might help some people, but certainly not anyone with serious fertility issues -- while de-funding more effective (albeit more expensive -- and more politically contentious) treatments such as IVF, and making them harder to access. 

A "new" approach? I think not. 

#MicroblogMondays: End of summer blues

Maybe it's because it's suddenly the end of summer -- and I feel like we didn't have much of a summer at all. (Like, WTF happened??) Between the heat & humidity, the smoke, and the two weeks at Mom & Dad's, the buildup to the wedding we attended and Katie's day, it's gone by in a blink. (And yes, I know it's technically still summer until mid-September, but you know what I mean...!)  

Maybe it's because August holds a few too many grief and loss reminders:  Katie's day, the recent wedding of her second cousin (the same age as she would have been), the "anniversary" of FIL's death in 2018 (which I wrote about here, here and here)...  

Maybe it's because there was a sudden flood of back-to-school and off-to-college photos from American friends on my social media feeds today, reminding me of the photos that were never taken... (They weren't the first back-to-school photos I've seen -- they started earlier this month -- and they won't be the last -- I expect to keep seeing them through mid-September -- but they were noticeable!) 

Maybe it's because I realized that there are just two weeks left before the kids head back to school here -- and we still haven't gone for gelato yet this summer. :(  Or washed the balcony door/windows. Or done any of a number of other things I've wanted & needed to get done this summer. 

Maybe it's because the hordes of back-to-school shoppers were out in full force when we were at the mall last week, making it far busier than usual -- and I'm debating whether it's worth braving the crowds to go there again this week? 

Maybe it's because I'm reading reports that covid is on the rise again (and we didn't get our boosters this past spring -- the one date they were offered at our family doctor's office didn't work for us, and it looked like I wouldn't have qualified for one anyway, since I'm under 65 (!) and they tightened up the eligibility guidelines... hoping things will be different for the fall...). 

Maybe it's because the on-again-off-again Air Canada flight attendants' strike is continuing (despite the fact that they were ordered back to work), meaning a significant trip this fall to mark our 40th wedding anniversary is becoming less and less likely. 

Maybe it's because Little Great-Nephew #2 is suddenly sprouting teeth (and perhaps consequently, was crankier than his usually smiley self when we saw him recently) -- and his big brother (LGNephew #1) is on the verge of losing his first (!), as he enters first grade at school (!), reminding me of how quickly they're growing, and of the little girl who never got to grow up at all. 

Maybe it's because dh's allergies were acting up in a major way this weekend -- and thus HE was crankier than usual too. 

Maybe it's because the overall state of the world is so dark and crappy right now. (I don't think I need to list all the reasons why I feel this way;  you all probably know.)  What kind of a world are we leaving those adorable little great-niblings? 

Maybe it's because I had a lousy sleep last night -- partly because the joint where my left big toe meets the rest of my foot was sore, giving me flashbacks to when I had gout, four years ago (also in August!). It's not red or hot or swollen, as it was then (yet?), but I've been taking some ibuprofen as a precaution. 

Maybe it's because I was up more than a pound from the previous week (WTAF?!) when I weighed myself last Friday -- and almost 3 pounds from my pre-vacation weight. I'm basically back to where I was in March. :(  Still better than I was when we got the cholesterol lecture from our family doctor last October, and certainly better than my all-time heaviest weight -- but still a setback from the progress I'd been making. 

Maybe it's because I've recently had to back out of a couple of things I had previously committed to, and have been feeling incredibly guilty about it. 

Maybe it's because I'm so far behind on my Goodreads goal, with books I need to read and want to read piling up around me. 

It's been more than 40 years since I had to return to a classroom, but (as you can probably tell by now...!) it feels like I've had a bad case of the end-of-summer blues these past few days. 

On the bright side (because I don't want to be a complete downer here): 

Our 5th annual cottage weekend with BIL & SIL, dh's cousin & his wife (and, this year, another cousin too), is on for late September. :)  Something to look forward to! 

I started looking at places within driving distance where we could take a getaway for a few days in September or October. 

I had a lovely Zoom call with some online friends this weekend. Always a day brightener!  :)  

The extreme heat, humidity and wildfire smoke/poor air quality of the past few weeks seems to have broken:  it's a glorious 21C/23C humidex this afternoon (69F & 73F, respectively) with a nice, slight breeze, and our balcony door has been wide open all day. FINALLY!! 

Dh saw that I was in a blue mood and took me for gelato this afternoon. Wouldn't you know it? Our favourite gelato shop is closed on Mondays. We went to Dairy Queen for Blizzards -- again, lol. We've decided we'll try again for gelato soon -- like, maybe the Tuesday after Labour Day, when all the kids HERE will be heading back to school. ;)  It will be a welcome distraction -- something to look forward to -- (and an excusable reason to drown my sorrows in gelato, lol). 

How are you feeling as the end of summer approaches? 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.