Showing posts with label Parents' Neighbours' Daughter (PND). Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parents' Neighbours' Daughter (PND). Show all posts

Friday, August 1, 2025

Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

July was a blur! -- including our 40th (!) wedding anniversary and two weeks in Manitoba with my family.  (How is it August already?) 

This month, we: 

  • Went to the bookstore for a browse and to buy some birthday cards (July 3rd). 
  • Drove to our old community on July 4th for a cemetery visit with Katie, haircuts, food court lunch, walking & shopping at the mall. 
  • I enjoyed a few hours of rare "me alone at home" time later that evening when dh (along with BIL, the nephews, and their cousins/cousins' kids on their mom's side of the family) attended a stag/bachelor party dinner for their cousin's son (27, same age as Katie would have been), who's getting married in August.  
  • Celebrated our 40th (!!) wedding anniversary on July 6th by going out for a very nice dinner -- and then coming home to watch "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" on TV (and laughed ourselves silly, lol).  
  • Went to the local mall to walk & shop (July 8th & 29th). 
  • Took a few bags full of books & clothes to the thrift store (July 9th). 
  • Went to the nail salon for a pedicure (July 10th). 
  • Travelled west to spend two weeks (July 12th-27th) with my parents & sister. While there we: 
    • Made multiple trips to the local grocery store. Dh & I certainly indulged in treats while we were there (as the scale will attest...!), but we also stocked up on some of our usual, relatively healthy snacks -- sparkling water (instead of pop), pretzels and Greek yogurt.  
    • Had cheeseburgers, fries and ice cream at the very popular local drive-in (twice), which has been operating for more than 60 (!) years (albeit it was sold by the family who originally owned it a few years back). 
    • (I) Had lunch at a local restaurant with a friend who drove out from the city for a visit. 
    • Did a LOT of waiting around for my mother, who notoriously marches to her own drummer/schedule -- sleeps half the day and prowls around most of the night. :p  Most mornings, she was not out of bed before noon (albeit she would sometimes spend part of that time reading her phone/tablet in bed). (If she did get up before noon, more often than not, she would head back to bed after being up for a half hour or so).
    • Played cards every single night we were there, as well as a few games of dominos. My dad LOVES both!  (Dh not so much, lol, but he still played.) 
    • Were royally entertained by visits from Little Princess #3 (and her mom, PND). 
    • Celebrated my dad's 86th birthday, and my parents' 65th wedding anniversary, with cake & coffee with PND & family and a few of the neighbours in my parents' garage. (It would have been the back yard, but it looked like rain.)  
      • We offered to take my parents out for dinner on both occasions, but the most they felt like doing was takeout hamburgers & fries from the local drive-in (!). (See above.) 
    • Kept the windows closed, more often than not, because of the poor air quality caused by smoke from the forest fires several hundred miles north.  :(  My sister bought air purifiers for herself & our parents, and I chipped in for half of Mom & Dad's.  Sad to see the normally gloriously blue, sunny sky a dull, overcast grey.  :(  
  • Went grocery shopping the morning after our return (July 28th), and restocked our rather bare refrigerator & cupboards. ;)  
  • Picked up a prescription at the drugstore (July 29th) and then another prescription the next day! (July 30th) . 
  • Had my upper lip waxed and brows (or what remains of them, anyway...!)(the left one in particular is pretty sparse...) shaped and tinted at a local Sephora, in advance of dh's cousin's son's upcoming wedding. (July 30th) 

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished just 1 book in July (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2025 books"). (Too many distractions while at my parents'!):  
This brings me to 21 books read in 2025 to date, 47% of my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 5 (! -- sigh...) books behind pace to meet my goal.  :) 

Current reads: 
  • The Two Mrs. Abbotts by D.E. Stevenson. (Re-)Reading this one in advance of my D.E. Stevenson group's chapter-by-chapter reading & discussion, which starts Aug. 4th and runs through mid-October. (My original 2015 review here). Currently 12% completed 
  • "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's, where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
  • "A Place of Greater Safety" by Hilary Mantel, the current slow read with Footnotes and Tangents, which began May 5th and runs for 20 weeks (until Sept. 15th). Currently 59% completed. 
  • "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Did not finish: 

  • "Living the Life Unexpected" by Jody Day. My online discussion group recently finished its year-long, chapter-by-chapter read of this CNBC classic -- the 5th (!) time I've read it (or tried to read it), or the earlier version of it ("Rocking the Life Unexpected").  This time around, however, I only managed to attend about half the meetings (and read the corresponding chapters). I'm choosing to mark this as "did not finish" this time around, and will start fresh if/when the group restarts and I join in the discussions again.  
    • "DNF"  should not cast any doubt on whether this is a worthwhile read, because it is!  and the fact that I've previously read this book multiple times all the way through (plus parts of it at other times) should vouch for that.  :) 
    • Most recent review, with links to earlier reviews, here.
Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  
(Simon is a big fan of the late great Hilary Mantel, and the other books he's selected were all ones that she loved, so he figured they would probably be worth reading!) 

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): 


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Watching: 
  • "Coronation Girls" on PBS on Canada Day -- a documentary about a group of 50 Canadian teenaged girls, who were chosen by Canadian businessman Garfield Weston to attend Queen Elizabeth II's coronation in London in June 1953 -- how their lives have unfolded since then, and the return trip that 12 of them -- now in their late 80s! -- made to England 70 years later, in December 2023 (including a special surprise visitor to a tea party!).  Just wonderful, and reminded me a little of my own life-changing trip to Ottawa when I was in Grade 12.  
  • "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" on TCM on July 6th (our 40th wedding anniversary). I've seen this one several times since I was a teenager, albeit not recently, and it was so much fun. We laughed ourselves silly. ("Life of Brian," which I saw when it first came out in 1979, was on after that, but I couldn't stay awake until the end. And I think "Holy Grail" is the much better and funnier movie anyway!) 
  • The LiveAid 40th anniversary documentary series on CNN, which is bringing back a lot of great memories! (Final episode airing on Sunday night!) 
Playing:  
  • Heardle Decades: Stats as of July 31st:  
    • Heardle 60s: 74.7% (743/995, 295 on first guess), down 0.5% from last month. Max. streak: 15.
    • Heardle 70s: 77.8% (571/734, 322 on first guess), up 0.2% from last month. Max. streak: 18. 
    • Heardle 80s: 40.0% (241/602, 88 on first guess), up 0.6% from last month. Max. streak: 5.
    • Heardle 90s: 31.7% (223/703, 54 on first guess), up 0.3% from last month. Max. streak: 5. 
  • NYT Connections:  
    •  By June 30th, I'd completed 337 games and won 85% of them, including 172 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, including 8 where I got the most difficult/purple category first.  And I increased my maximum winning streak to 45!  :)   (Current streak at 2!)  
    • By July 31st, I'd played 368 games and won 86% of them, including 189 "perfect puzzles," including 8 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (unchanged from last month).  Maximum winning steak:  45.  Current streak: 7. 
Following:  
  • I recently started following Canadian Returnee on Substack (who also posts from the American perspective as American Refugee). They hold dual Canadian/American citizenship and recently returned to Canada from living abroad (in Hong Kong, and possibly elsewhere). I appreciate the broad, thoughtful perspective they bring to our current cross-border issues.  
Eating/Drinking:  
  • As I've mentioned before, we achieved our goal of lowering our cholesterol levels in late January, after less-than-stellar bloodwork last fall earned us both serious chats with our family doctor -- and we've been trying to maintain/improve on those numbers (and lose/keep off some extra pounds) since then, by continuing to eat healthier and move at least a little more.    
    • This goal took a bit of a hit this month (big anniversary dinner out, travelling, two weeks at my parents' house)(my dad never met a pound of butter he didn't love, lol) -- and I guess that was to be expected. (And how often do I get "home" to see my parents -- or to celebrate my wedding anniversary -- and a "milestone" one at that??) 
    • We weighed ourselves the morning after we got home (not recommended...!), and again this morning (Friday = our usual weigh-in day), with better results. I ended the month 1 pound heavier than when it began -- which is not too bad, all things considered...!  Overall, I've lost about 12 pounds since our chat with the doctor last October (dh has lost more than 20), and almost 24 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight a few years ago. 
  • Steaks and sides at the local Keg (Canadian steakhouse chain) on our 40th wedding anniversary -- including a slice of their famous Billy Miner Pie for dessert (described in this post). (The portions are HUGE, but we ordered one and asked for two spoons, lol.) 
  • Homecooked (by my dad) meals at my parents' house included waffles for brunch, pickerel, pork tenderloin, and new potatos, carrots and yellow wax beans from the local farmers' market. 
  • Chicken caesar wrap with fries for lunch with an old friend, at a local bistro in my parents' town.  
  • Great cheeseburgers, fries and soft-serve ice cream at the local drive-in in my parents' town (which has been there for more than 60 years!). 
  • Breakfast sandwiches at Tim Hortons at the Toronto and Winnipeg airports (egg, cheese and sausage on an English muffin). 
  • Other notable recent takeout meals include soup & pizza slices from the local supermarket takeout counter, and wood oven thin crust pizza. 
Wearing:  Shorts or capris, and short-sleeved T-shirts and tank tops.  :)  Also, I wore sundresses for both our wedding anniversary dinner out and my dad's birthday party.   

Buying (besides books, lol): 
  • Canadian products (or from Canadian companies), as much as possible ;) -- albeit I will admit I'm not as much of a purist as some people seem to be...!    
  • New dress shirt for dh (to wear to his cousin's son's wedding -- all his old dress shirts were yellowed around the cuffs and collars!).  
  • A couple of new tops from Reitmans. 
  • A few things for the great-niblings (on sale), as well as a couple of tops for me, at Old Navy. 
Wondering:  What happened to July?? 

And: Which of the two dresses I bought should I wear to the upcoming wedding??  (I STILL haven't made up my mind...!  Decisions, decisions...) 

Prioritizing:  Trying to get through my daily to-do list (even if everything on it doesn't get done) before starting other projects. 

Trying:  Not to fret if I don't get through my inbox ever day. And to pare down my inbox and delete old/unread messages on a more regular/frequent schedule! 

Anticipating: Seeing the nephews and their families this weekend at BIL's!  Also, seeing some of dh's cousins at his cousin's son's wedding, coming up soon.  

And: Spending some time remembering our Katie on her special day, also coming up soon. 

Noticing/Enjoying:  Clean windows!  The window washers hadn't reached our side of the building before we left to see my parents. We still have to do the balcony doors ourselves, but the other two windows look great! (They DO make a difference!)  

Wanting: To get to the gelato shop, sooner vs later...!  (Haven't been yet this summer!)    

Appreciating:  Sleeping in my own bed again!  lol  

Loving:  Spending time with my parents -- but also loving coming home again! 

Hoping: August is not as hot and humid as July was...! (But I won't hold my breath...!)  
                              
Feeling: Grateful to be able to spend time with my parents (even when they're driving me nuts...!).  (Nevertheless...!:)  Glad to be home again.  Aware of quickly the year is speeding by (and how many things I want and need to be done that still need doing...!).   
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Saturday, February 17, 2024

Long weekend odds & ends

  • It's the Family Day long weekend here in Ontario (and a couple of other Canadian provinces).  This holiday always sneaks up on me -- I knew there was a long weekend coming up (although long weekends don't mean quite the same thing when you're retired...!) -- but it hadn't really sunk in that it was THAT long weekend until I looked at my email on Friday afternoon and saw a promotional message from a friend's small business:  "Happy Family Day Weekend!"  Ugh. (So far, not TOO much hype. But it's only Saturday...!)  
    • Past rants (ummm, posts) on this subject here. 
  • Speaking of family:  the son of one of dh's cousins -- six months older than Katie would have been -- is engaged. His mom announced it via our cousins' WhatsApp group this weekend, along with a photo of the happy couple, showing off the ring. Everyone is excited -- "too long since we've had a family wedding!"
    • I'm happy for them. He's a very nice young man, and she seems like a nice girl.  But I couldn't help but think about my own little girl, who would be 25 (!) now -- older than I was when I got married, at 24 (!!) -- who will never grow up. let alone become a bride. :(  
  • Also speaking of family (and on a lighter note) -- BIL called yesterday to tell us that Little Great-Nephew's teacher asked each student to tell the class who they would most like to have dinner with. All the kids were naming celebrities, athletes, etc.  -- but LGN said, "All the people in my heart" (!) -- and then named off everyone in his extended family! -- including me & dh!!  Needless to say, we were both absolutely tickled when we heard this (and yes, I got kind of teary too!).  
  • Something else that gave me a chuckle:  I got an email from Kobo.ca on Friday night, promoting their long weekend bargain books. Scrolling through the selections, I started laughing when I found the title "Mayo Clinic Guide to Fertility and Conception" -- in the Science Fiction & Fantasy section!  lol  
  • I'm not sure if this article is behind a subscriber paywall, but it's an interesting read:  "My partner and I want to have a baby, but we can't afford it without leaving Toronto. Is that our fault — or part of a much bigger problem?"  (Subhead:  "You always hear "there's never a perfect time to have kids," but that minimizes major structural inequalities that affect a huge amount of Canadians.") 
    • I feel for this couple (and I get pissed off by politicians whose main solution to reversing declining birth rates seems to be going after abortion and birth control). The expense of having a baby, and the lack of support (no mother or mother-in-law nearby to help me, expensive and limited daycare options, etc.) were certainly among the reasons why we procrastinated on trying to conceive until I was in my mid-30s. (And our rent ranged from $650 a month in 1985, when we moved in, to $975  by the time we bought our house in 1990 and moved out. This was for a small one-bedroom apartment in a charming renovated brownstone building in a  tony midtown neighbourhood near the subway that, when we first moved in, did not allow children. I'm sure that would seem incredibly cheap to renters today, but it was pretty expensive at the time...!)     
  • You MUST read Jody Day's post on her Childless Elderwomen Substack about childless daughters, caregiving and pronatalism ("It's not like she's got anything else to do, is it?")  She absolutely nails it. I'm so grateful she is doing this work and calling some much-needed attention to these issues! 
  • This opinion piece in the Guardian generated quite a bit of discussion in one of the online childless communities I frequent:  "Facebook’s endless back-to-school photos spark complex feelings for childfree people like me – but sadness isn’t one of them."  I'd be curious to know what you think of it!  
    • Personally, I found the writer's tone and wording minimized (perhaps even dismissed?) the very real pain that many childless women feel -- and I worry that readers who have not shared this experience might not understand that she does NOT speak for all of us. (Some of us would LOVE to have friends like hers...!)  
    • Quote:  "In the patriarchal, restricted and desperately sexist world that came before, one can imagine that a woman without children may have been a object of concerned pity..."  Well, we certainly have more opportunities and other fulfilling experiences these days -- but that doesn't mean that the world isn't still full of patriarchy & sexism, or that childless women aren't still objects of pity in some quarters...
    • I also chafe at the idea -- which I've seen a fair bit of recently in various books & articles -- that suggests the childless/free should "[embrace] active roles... in the broad community of family and friends that actually helps people with kids raise their children."  Yes, it's an option -- but it shouldn't feel like an obligation, just because we don't have children of our own to occupy our time & energy.  Some of us are happy to help out, some of us would rather not, some of us don't have any family or friends with young children nearby, and some of us would like to help but (inexplicably) meet resistance from some parents. It's not always that simple.
    • I questioned why a writer/publication would be highlighting back to school photos in the middle of February??  An Australian in the group explained to me that the writer was an Aussie, and the school year there runs from late January/early February through November/December. Oops. I apologized for my northern hemisphere-centricity.  ;) 
  • Also from the Guardian:  Bravo to Carla Dejonghe, a Belgian woman who has persuaded her local municipal council to confront a highly common blind spot, and consider the impact of its policies on single people (including many childless women).  36% of households in Belgium are currently made up of single adults. That number has grown by 30% in just over a decade, and it's likely to keep getting larger in the future. A couple of excerpts (boldfaced emphasis is mine):  
The text of the charter stresses the aim of ensuring that single-income households are treated on an equal footing with others, adding: “It is our interest as policymakers to no longer think from the perspective of the traditional family as the norm, but to strive for measures that are neutral to living arrangements.”

It includes measures that range from encouraging new housing projects to feature communal spaces for more social interaction, to tweaking municipal invitations to specify that guests can bring a “plus one” instead of only a partner...

The charter also commits to championing single-friendly practices within the local hospitality industry, such as communal tables and a wider selection of quality wines by the glass. Workplaces will also be encouraged to reconsider the common practice of relying on people who live alone any time overtime is required.

“These are just simple things,” said Dejonghe. “They don’t cost much money but they’re very logical.”

...Dejonghe, who is also a member of Belgium’s parliament, said she had yet to receive any negative reactions, chalking it up to the care she had taken to emphasise that the charter was in no way aimed at diminishing the importance of traditional families.

“It’s about equality,” she said. “Everyone has to be aware of two things: if it’s good for a person living alone, it will be good for everybody. And second, whether you want to or not, at some point in your life you will be all alone.”

She described the charter as a first step towards tackling this reality. “Our society has evolved but our policies haven’t kept up,” she said. “These are small steps but we have to start somewhere.”

  • Annnnndddd just as I was set to hit "publish" on this post, a message popped into my inbox. From Parents Neighbours Daughter. A photo of the Littlest Princess (all smiles, as usual). Wearing the handknit sweater set that another neighbour (M., long dead now) had made for my Katie, 25+ years ago. (Full story here.)  "It fits!" she wrote. 
    • I brushed away tears as I messaged her back: "M. would have loved that!"  
    • Is this frickin' weekend over yet?  

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Monday, December 18, 2023

#MicroblogMondays: A Christmas carol

We arrived at my parents' house on Saturday to spend the Christmas holidays with them.  Yesterday afternoon, Parents' Neighbours' Daughter (PND) dropped by with the two youngest of the three Little Princesses, including Little Princess #3, who will be 4 months old soon.  

While they were there, a group of carollers from my mom's church showed up. We crowded around the door as they serenaded us with a few songs. It's a small town, and many of them knew PND, who grew up here -- and (of course) they were thrilled to see the Littlest Princess. I'm not sure whether they had planned their repetoire in advance, but they launched into "Away in a Manger" for their second song. 

Even when I was a kid, that song was a never a favourite of mine... and I distinctly remember thinking, when I told my mom that I would rather not attend Christmas Eve service with her in 1998 (fresh from the loss of our Katie, who was due in November), that if nothing else, having to listen to the congregation singing "Away in a Manger" (a perennial choice for Christmas Eve service)  would finish me off. 

I will admit that as I looked at that adorable little girl in her mother's arms, staring in wide-eyed wonder at the people singing to her, I had tears stinging my eyes. 

But only briefly. (After that, they sang "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" and moved on to the next house, taking away a box of candy that my dad produced from the pantry.) 

'Tis the season...!  

How are you all doing?  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

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Wednesday, October 18, 2023

I'm back! with more odds & ends...

  • I'm back from spending last week (the Canadian Thanksgiving long weekend and the week afterwards) with my parents and sister, who also had the week off work. Much of what I wrote in this post from last year still applies  ;)  although (happily) my parents didn't bicker quite as much on this visit, and we got to see more of Parents' Neighbours' Daughter and the newest Little Princess #3 (who was 7 weeks old by the time we left).  We didn't do very much, except eat and play a lot of card games (which made my father very happy!), but that's okay.  
    • We'll be back at Christmastime. (I saw another deal -- which, incredibly, actually applied to flights over the holiday period! -- and booked our flights while we were still there. The price was not as good as when we went this time around, but no doubt it was a lot better than it would have been, had we waited.)
  • I wrote about our flight home for my #MicroblogMondays post... after we got home and emptied our suitcases, I asked dh if he wanted to take them down to our storage locker, or leave them up here until Christmastime?  At the airport, he'd been adamant that next time around, we were going to bring ONE larger suitcase, and check it. But by then, he'd calmed down (and apologized), and said we'll try again -- if we can get them onboard with us, great, if not, well then, they'll have to be checked. (Famous last words??).  
    • He also said, "Next time, we should probably get in line to board earlier." I just about fell over.  DUH... that's what I was thinking while we were sitting in the lounge, watching the line get longer and longer. (Even if we were in the last zone allowed to board, we could have been at the front of the Zone 5 group instead of the middle, if we'd headed over earlier...!)  And I ASKED him, more than once, if he wanted to get into line now, and he said no!  
    • I reminded him of this, and he said I need to be more direct/explicit with him (like:  "Dh!  We need to get in line NOW if we're going to have any chance of getting our bags into those overhead bins." vs "Would you like to get in line now?")   
    • This happens with us a LOT... I will think something is the best option, or I'll want to do something, but instead of asking directly or stating exactly what I think we should do, I'll "suggest" or ask him if he'd like to do this or that -- and he doesn't get the hint. 
    • I don't think I'm the only woman in the world who does this either (especially of my generation)...!  It's hard to break a lifetime of conditioning -- don't rock the boat, don't make a fuss -- but I think I'm going to have to start trying...! 
  • Katy at Childless Collective did an Instagram reel/post that's well worth watching, about how some people will draw attention to the fact that someone is childless "as a way to discredit them or to portray them in a negative light." 
    • Case in point:  earlier this week, two senators in Australia's parliament were debating a bill related to child welfare, when this exchange took place:  
      • Senator Hanson: "Minister, do you have children?"
      • Senator Chisholm: "It's not really relevant to this discussion."
      • Senator Hanson: "Well, the answer to the question is, if you have no children, you have no heart. You have no understanding of what you're talking about."  
      • [She was reminded that personal comments were off limits.]  
      • If you want to watch the exchange, here's a link. It starts around 13.04.30.  
    • Says Katy:  "News flash: being a parent doesn't automatically give you a greater capacity for being empathetic, caring, or kind."  Amen!  
  • Has anyone heard the song "The Girl That Never Was" by James Blunt??  Someone mentioned it was about baby loss. I have not watched the video (so I have not linked to it here) but I Googled the lyrics and... Oh. My.  (Have Kleenex handy.)  
  • Sarah at Afterward Honesty Yoga is testing her new website and system via a free workshop on Sunday, November 12 at 2:00 pm ET, via Zoom: "Your Breath as a Resource: Using the breath to land in your body." 
    • Says Sarah:  "We’ll be sampling basic, gentle breath practices that can assist us in settling into our bodies.  Some simple (and always optional!) movement will be incorporated.  Talk and background on the subject of breath will also be included.  The aim is to explore tools to take with you and use on your own if you choose.  The breath has been one of my most useful - and favorite - things to turn to through involuntary childlessness (and a lot of other things too!).  So this is the workshop I just had to start with." 
    • To find out more about the workshops in general, and to check out Sarah's new website,  visit www.afterwardhonestyyoga.com .
    • Deadline: If you're interested in participating in the test workshop, please email Sarah at sarahafterwardhonesty@gmail.com, no later than Nov. 1. 
  • This article ("Testing My Fertility at the End of My World") was flagged by someone on a childless forum I'm on. Blurb below the headline:  "The pandemic robbed Millennial women of peak years of fertility. The least we deserve is a space to process the grief—and reimagine what can come next."  The author's essay is followed by links to other articles about "people walking new paths."  Sample passage:  

Since 2020, so many of us have watched our plans slowly leak through tightly grasped fists. We’ve had to spill out the ideas we once held about relationships, family, and career, but worse yet, we’ve had to do it without a real space to acknowledge the loss. Why aren’t we discussing what happens when we lose years of living and fertility to pandemics, careers, and dead-end relationships? And why are we still, while living on a rapidly dying planet, asked to be so hyper-fixated on following an old script of love, marriage, and a baby in a baby carriage?

There is no clear way to have this conversation. No elegant script for talking about the unsavory feelings that come up when you have to accept that your life is going to look different than you thought it would. When you realize that the timeline you had for yourself might need reworking. When you know that you may have to accept the responsibility of building a new reality to exist within. But buried within that uncertainty, there is beauty. There are buds, poised to bloom. There is the possibility to change our minds about what we thought we wanted, to accept the grief about the loss of time, and to build new dream castles.

  •  The Globe & Mail had a great article about "Evolving the thinking on women who age alone." (Gift link.)  It's not specifically about women aging while single and/or childless, but there's still content to relate to and think about. Here's an excerpt from the introduction:  

The woman who lives alone has been not been viewed charitably throughout history, or today. If she’s divorced or widowed, she is pitied; if she’s chosen to live alone, defying traditional scripts of marriage and family, she’s a spinster condemned to loneliness in her latter years.

Unflattering depictions are numerous in popular culture. The Beatles’ Eleanor Rigby collects leftover grains of rice following a wedding and dies alone, her funeral unattended. Charles Dickens’ Miss Havisham parades around her dilapidated mansion in a wedding gown after being left at the altar. The cult documentary Grey Gardens follows the Beales, a mother and daughter duo who hoard feral cats and live in squalor at the edge of the wealthy East Hampton enclave.

Much less has been conveyed about older women’s actual experiences, especially those who thrive alone.

...new research on aging women is yielding a complicated picture of a significant demographic growing rapidly in Canada.

Although public health officials have been sounding the alarm for years on myriad health problems linked to loneliness in older age – depression, dementia, cardiovascular disease, shortened lifespans, even increased risk of death during heatwaves – more thinkers are beginning to challenge the narrative, drawing sharper distinctions between living solo, social isolation and loneliness, highly personal experiences too often treated as interchangeable, especially among elders.

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Wednesday, August 30, 2023

(Gradually!) Letting go

My mom called me this afternoon:  Parents' Neighbours' Daughter was bringing newborn Little Princess #3 over to meet them, and she didn't have a gift for her yet. She wanted to know if I would be willing to let her have something from a box of things she'd collected --25 years ago now -- for Katie -- some of them gifts from family friends and neighbours, some things she'd collected herself. 

The box -- a little wooden chest -- sits on the floor in the bedroom where dh & I stay whenever we're there -- but I have never really looked inside to see what's in there. I've peeked a few times in the past and found it just too difficult to explore beyond the surface. (Also, part of me would like my mom to sit with me and tell me what was from who, etc.  But part of me shys away from that too. I know we would both probably cry.) I know there's a fuzzy bunting bag that I remember my mom excitedly telling me about when she bought it, during my pregnancy -- such a bargain!  And a Bunnykins cup and bowl.  (I just did a search, and I wrote a post about this little chest and its contents back in 2009.) 

One of the items in the chest is a little white sweater set, handknit with love by Mom's wonderful neighbour, M., who died some years ago, not too many years after we lost Katie.  M. lived across the street from my parents and next-door to PND & her family, and often looked after PND & her brothers when their parents were out or away on a business trip. PND remembers M. well, and if there's anyone who would appreciate and treasure this lovely gift, it would be her.  

My mom had approached me with a similar request before Little Princess #1 was born in 2011, 12 years ago now. (I found a post I wrote then too!) But back then, I was just not ready to let go anything that would have been Katie's.  

This time, I told my mother yes.    

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Monday, August 28, 2023

Monday odds & ends

  • Mel is on hiatus from her blog for a few weeks, so no #MicroblogMondays right now (which feels a little strange). 
  • Yesterday was Little Great-Niece's baptism. Beyond the actual ceremony at the church, there is traditionally a family celebration at a restaurant or at home later on. We were not invited to the celebration :(  -- but then, neither were any of the parents' other aunts/uncles/cousins. We understand that you have to draw the line somewhere, especially when space is limited, and fair is fair.  
    • But we did go to the church, and we brought a gift (a cheque, the same amount we gave to Little Great-Nephew, three years ago).  We wanted to go because we live RIGHT HERE, and of course we did not get to attend Little Great-Nephew's baptism either -- nobody did, because of covid restrictions, other than the priest, the parents, the baby and the godparents.  (And SIL, who knew the priest well and got a call a few minutes before the ceremony was to start:  "Come and watch your grandson be baptized!"  Luckily they live close by too!) (We did get to watch on the church's YouTube live feed!)
    • None of the other other uncles & aunts showed up for the church only (and I think at least one of them lives relatively nearby). Of course, most of them have their own kids and grandkids, or the hope of grandkids in the future. Being there probably meant a lot more to us than it did to any of them.  
    • Younger Nephew texted me this morning to thank us for coming to the church and for the gift -- and to apologize for not being able to include us later. He was worried that we might be offended.  Awww.  We have two amazing nephews.  :)  
    • We did not wear masks. (Gulp.)  I brought one in my purse, but absolutely NO ONE was wearing one, including Younger Nephew & his wife, who are about the most covid-cautious people we know.  The church was large and airy and seemed well ventilated, and while there were a lot of people there, there weren't a lot immediately around us, which made me feel slightly better. Fingers crossed there are no repercussions! 
  • I (finally!) went for a pedicure last Thursday afternoon -- for the first time in almost FOUR YEARS. (I did wear a mask then -- and so did the nail techs, more for the fumes than the germs, I think.) 
    • The last time I had one was in September 2019, just before Older Nephew's Wife's baby shower (in advance of Little Great-Nephew's November birth).  I intended to get one before we headed west to my parents' house for Christmas that year, but ran out of time and -- well, you know what happened in early 2020.  
    • Manicures, I can take or leave, but I do enjoy a nice pedicure -- especially during the summer, when my feet (not especially attractive to begin with) are on constant display, and pre-pandemic, I'd indulged regularly/monthly or so. I'm planning to go again in late September, before our planned weekend at dh's cousin's cottage. :) (Hopefully the weather will still be conducive to sandals by then, although that's not guaranteed...!) 
  • Little Princess #3 (!) arrived this past weekend!  Her mom grew up across the street from my parents (hence, I refer to her here as Parents' Neighbours' Daughter, or PND, lol -- and her daughters as Parents' Neighbours' Granddaughters, but more often as the Little Princesses) and is now in her late 30s. Her two older sisters (who will be 9 & 12 soon -- hmmm, I may not be able to refer to them as the "Little" Princesses for much longer...!) are both very excited.  :)  And dh & I are looking forward to spoiling her when we see her!  
    • She was born about a week past her due date, which (as you can imagine) made me VERY nervous -- so I was VERY relieved when my mom called to tell me she'd arrived and that all was well!  
  • I haven't been keeping track of articles to pass along to you quite as closely during the past week or two (sorry!). But I did notice this great article from Elle Canada about the choice to have children -- or not.  :)  
  • Once again, the deadline for a submission to World Childless Week has come & gone without a contribution from me.  :p  I actually started drafting something but it was still WAY too long and unpolished to submit and I just ran out of time. I hope to see some familiar bylines there, though!  
    • World Childless Week is Sept. 11th-17th this year.  You can already register for some of the webinars and other live events taking place that week -- visit the website and have a look at what's coming up!   

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Monday, April 10, 2023

Recuperating!

 Last week was looonnggggg, very busy and very tiring!  

  • (Last) Monday (April 3rd):  Dh spent several hours at the car dealership, waiting while a regular service check was performed. The brakes also had to be replaced. (Ouch!) 
    • He also stopped on his way back home to see how his brother was doing. 
  • Tuesday:  SIL took BIL for a lengthy medical appointment -- which meant we were up at 5 a.m. and at their house before 7:30 a.m. to stay with (and play with) Little Great-Nephew -- who was slightly more naughty/mischievous than usual (!)(but still really very good). Didn't get back home until 2:30 p.m. 
  • Wednesday was an at-home day, but we were busy doing several loads of laundry. 
    • I also received an email from my best friend from my working days:  her longtime partner has inoperable cancer.  :(  I tried to think of at least some small thing I could do or send to help, and wound up ordering something from Edible Arrangements to be delivered to her the next day.  
  • Thursday: BIL & SIL had more medical appointments that took up most of the day. Thankfully, LGN's mom took the day off;  otherwise, we would have been on tap for another long day of babysitting. (We love the little guy, but he can be pretty tiring!!)  
    • Instead, we spent the morning housecleaning.  
    • I also spent half an hour on the phone when my friend called to thank me for the delivery.
    • In the afternoon, we masked up and braved the mobs at the supermarket (all shopping for the upcoming long weekend) to pick up some things to take to BIL's on Good Friday, as well as for our own dinner on Easter Sunday. 
    • At BIL's request, we also swung by ToysRUs to look for and buy a portable playpen/play yard that they can use for Little Great-Niece when she visits. 
  • Good Friday:  We headed over to BIL & SIL's for dinner with both of our nephews, their wives and the kids (Little Great-Nephew and Little Great-Niece).  BIL's spirits were boosted considerably to be surrounded by his family and especially his grandkids... he made several comments about how wonderful they were, thanking the parents for this "beautiful gift" -- comments that would have wounded me deeply at one time, but (given the state of his health right now) I was able to (mostly) let it slide. Overall, we had a really nice time. 
    • I did have a few other "ouch" moments, watching Younger Nephew's Wife open Little Great-Niece's Easter presents -- including lots of adorable tiny pink outfits from SIL and Older Nephew's Wife (as well as us!). She really is a cutie, though.  ;)  I got to hold her again for a while and she didn't fuss once. :) 
    • Little Great-Nephew is still not overly impressed with his baby cousin (lol), but took several curious peeks into the playpen where she was laying while we had our meal, and even generously offered her some of his Easter chocolate. (But he was happy to take it back when we explained that she wasn't big enough to eat chocolate just yet, lol.)  
  • Saturday got off to an early start with a 7:30 a.m. phone call from BIL (always an early riser and always surprised to find that we're not up yet! lol).  
    • Later that morning, off we went, back to our old community, where we dropped by the cemetery with some Easter/spring decorations for Katie's niche, then for much-needed haircuts. And then to one of our favourite food stores to stock up on some items that we can't get hereabouts, before we headed back home. 
    • Back at our condo, we put away the groceries, changed clothes, got back in the car and drove over to pick up BIL & SIL, and then to dh & BIL's aunt's condo. Earlier in the week, she'd called to say she'd been baking some traditional Italian Easter goodies and had some set aside for them. Her two daughters (dh's cousins) and one of her sons-in-law were there too, and we all had a nice visit over coffee. 
    • After that, we went to Walmart to pick up a few things, and then to the supermarket for some takeout for dinner, which we brought back to BIL & SIL's to eat. 
    • Finally got back home, exhausted, around 6:30 p.m. 
  • Easter Sunday/Yesterday:  We were very happy to spend a quiet day by ourselves, lazing around at home!  We heated up a little pre-cooked ham, which was fine, and I made scalloped potatoes to go with it that turned out extremely well (yum!), and warmed up an apple pie for dessert. And dh flipped back & forth between the Masters golf tournament and the men's world curling championships final in Ottawa. 
    • I called my mom. 
    • I had a text from Parents' Neighbours' Daughter (PND) -- with an ultrasound photo!  Yes, she is expecting a THIRD baby, in August! -- a little brother or sister for the two Little Princesses (who will be almost 9 & almost 12 when their sibling arrives). (Yes, this one was a surprise! -- PND is now 39.)  She actually told us all at Christmastime, shortly after her pregnancy was confirmed -- but has not made any public announcements yet (albeit one will be forthcoming soon). 
  • This morning, BIL & SIL had another lengthy (and early!) appointment -- so dh & I got up at 5 a.m. (!), aiming to be at their house when Older Nephew dropped off Little Great-Nephew for the day, around 7 a.m.  However, as I was gulping down my breakfast shortly after 6 a.m., Older Nephew called: both LGN and his mom are sick this morning, and he was staying home to take care of them both. :(  Disappointed not to get to see LGN -- but also glad we have another day to recuperate from a very busy week! (even if it did get a very early start!) 
    • We do have to go out later:  dh's cousin's mother-in-law passed away last week, and visitation at the funeral home is today -- afternoon & evening sessions. We were going to attend in the evening, but now we'll go this afternoon.  
  • Dh's birthday is tomorrow!  The agenda (and dinner menu) are entirely up to him. The weather is starting to get warmer and is supposed to hit 20C (!)/68F), so plans may include our first gelatos of the season.  :)  And the forecast is calling for 27C/81F on Thursday. (This is NOT normal...!)  
Here's to a quieter week ahead...!  Have a good one, everyone!  :)  

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Friday, January 6, 2023

Home again

Lots of stuff to write about, if I can remember it all...!  Some of the things going on in my life right now:   

It's good to spend Christmas with family.  Every time I see my parents, now in their early 80s, I am acutely aware that my time with them is limited and precious. They are imperfect people and they can drive me nuts sometimes... but they are my parents, and I truly believe they did the best they could for me & my sister when we were growing up. 

I am also acutely aware that their living situation (mobility issues in a split-level house that increasingly needs work -- new roof, for one thing, big back yard to keep up, etc.) is precarious... also that they are incredibly stubborn people! (my mother especially)... that my sister is at her wit's end dealing with them... and that I am SO GLAD dh & I chose to downsize and move to a condo at this point in our lives, while we still had both energy and options! 

I loved spending Christmas with them. (As I posted previously, I don't know whether we'll be spending Christmas there again -- if my sister has her way, anyway...!) But it's SO good to be back in my own home and sleep in my own bed! 

(In retrospect, 17 days is probably too long for a visit -- especially in the depths of a Manitoba winter...!  No escaping outside to the patio, etc.)  

Since getting back, the weather has been dark, gloomy and rainy. I will take -30C any day over this (especially if the sun is shining!). Sigh. 

At least the Christmas tree is still up to add a little more brightness to the room. We've usually taken it down by now, but I just haven't had the energy this week. It's actually kind of appropriate, especially this year -- today is Ukrainian Christmas Eve. :)   

The new year has not begun auspiciously. BIL wound up back in the hospital again for a few days, as he did at this same time last year. He is dealing with a serious health issue -- but if he follows the doctor's advice, he could still have some good years ahead of him. He is quite depressed at the moment, though -- he's convinced he doesn't have much time left, and he's now on disability (essentially retired) -- so he doesn't have the distraction of work anymore -- and poor SIL & dh are bearing the burden of his moods. :(  

I find it ironic that we moved here in part because we wanted to be closer to family members for support as we aged -- because it seems that we've been the ones constantly on call since we got here. ;)  The past few weeks have been particularly busy:  SIL was dealing with a bad ear infection in November/December, requiring multiple trips to the doctor while we stayed with Little Great-Nephew  -- who is, thankfully, as good as gold -- but nevertheless still an energetic and exhausting 3-year-old (especially when you're not used to being around small children...!).  

Speaking of LGN, his parents have been attempting to potty train him over the holidays. It hasn't been going well. I spent a stressful morning this week with SIL as she tried (and failed) to convince him to use the potty.  A couple of accidents resulted. Poor little guy...!  :(  

Just a few more weeks until the new baby (great-niece or nephew!) that Younger Nephew & his wife are expecting is due to arrive!   

Also coming up in February:  the start of a new and significant "anniversary" cycle for me. February 8, 1998, was my "LMP (last menstrual period) date" for my own single, doomed pregnancy. 25 years ago.  

TWENTY-FIVE YEARS. 

PND dropped a Christmas bombshell while we were visiting my parents:  she's expecting a THIRD child in mid-August (right around Katie's "silver anniversary" date -- of course...) -- almost 9 years since Little Princess #2 was born. Needless to say, it was a surprise to her and her husband too.  ;)  

One more pregnant person for me to worry about...!  :(  

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Tuesday, October 18, 2022

Annoying things & small pleasures

(The visiting the 80-something-year-old parents edition. ;)  )(with some repetition from this previous post...!) 

Annoying things: 
  • Three televisions (plus a radio in the master bedroom), all on different channels/stations, at top volume. (It's not a big house, so it's very noticeable!) 
    • Almost as annoying: multiple TVs on the same channel -- but there's a delay between TV sets, creating an echo effect...! 
  • Expecting us to still hear them as they walk away into another part of the house, still talking...! (and then yelling back & forth...!). 
  • My dad's love for true crime shows, courtroom dramas (including the likes of Judge Judy), and most of all, TV game shows ("The Price is Right," "Family Feud," etc. -- also at top volume) -- now including the Game Channel, which shows game show episodes from the 1970s (!). (This, at least, is mildly entertaining, if only for the glimpses of long-dead minor celebrities and horrendous haircuts and fashions...!) 
    • Related: his habit of walking into the room and changing the TV channel that you were watching, without asking!  
  • My mother's equally inexplicable love for David Muir and ABC World News Tonight (the nightly evening newscast, on at 5:30 p.m. their time) -- albeit she usually falls asleep while she's watching it...!  lol -- plus her insistence on having a snack to eat while she's watching it (even though dinner is cooking as she watches...). 
  • Their constant bickering with each other :p  which has only gotten worse as they have aged. :(  (The pandemic hasn't helped, forcing them to stay home and spend much more time together than they're used to.)  I reminded them -- as I did last Christmas -- that I did not fly 1000 miles during a pandemic to listen to this...! 
  • My mother's insistence on marching to her own drummer, which means (among other things) that (more often than not) she's up prowling around the house for half the night, sleeps in until noon-ish, has her breakfast cereal mid/late afternoon, and is always the last one to the dinner table -- usually right around the time the rest of us are all finishing up. 
    • Even more annoying: the certainty that she would never have tolerated the same behaviour from my sister & me when we were growing up...! 
  • Dinner is never earlier than 6:30 p.m. every night -- but more often 7 p.m. or later -- which would translate to 7:30-8 p.m. or later, our time. We usually eat around 5:30 -- which means we're often starving by the time dinner is eventually ready...!  
  • Having one of them hand me the phone after a long-winded conversation ("Lori wants to say hello...") and having NO idea who I'm going to be talking with...!  (Usually one of my aunts.) 
  • Having to move from various sofas, chairs, etc., at various times, because (like Sheldon on "The Big Bang Theory" -- one of their favourite TV shows) "you're in my spot."  ;) 
  • My parents' (and particularly my mother's) resistance to selling their house and moving, despite the fact that aging, with increasing mobility issues, in a split-level (three levels) house with a large yard is obviously NOT an ideal situation...! (I think my sister & I -- both of us childless/free, albeit for different reasons -- are being a lot more realistic in our own preparations for aging in that regard...!) 
  • Their seeming lack of awareness that, while are still "the kids" and yes, we are younger than they are, we're really not that young ourselves anymore, and WE can't easily do everything we used to do either...! (My younger sister just turned 60, which means she is a senior citizen by many definitions -- as am I, at 61, and her partner, at 62. Dh is 65, which IS a senior citizen by almost all definitions...!) 
  • Not getting to spend much time with Parents' Neighbours' Daughter and her daughters (the Little Princesses, now 8 & 11) while we were there. The girls are in school during the week, of course -- and PND is a teacher. So not only are they busy during the week, they're spending their time in one of the settings where covid is known to be circulating (and masks are not required).  Plus -- not only is PND a teacher, she teaches in another nearby town, which has the dubious reputation of being one of the hotspots of anti-vax/anti-covid regulation activities in the province/all of Canada. :(  (Perhaps not coincidentally, it is also one of the province's covid hotspots...!)  Understandably, much as she loves them all, my mother is nervous about spending too much time in too close proximity to them. 
  • Not getting to see my sister's new house while we were there.  :(   She was not feeling well when they picked us up at at the airport, and just wanted to get out to Mom & Dad's as soon as possible... and we didn't really have time to swing by there on our way to the airport when we were heading home. (I got the feeling they weren't particularly eager to have us visit either...! -- albeit I realize the house was probably still in a somewhat chaotic state!) 
  • Not spending as much time with my sister as I'd hoped. She had the week off, but besides not feeling well and having some medical appointments as a result, they've been gradually moving into their new house while trying to sell the old one (it sold while we were there) -- so they spent most of the week in the city, returning to Mom & Dad's on the weekends. (I also suspect my sister felt that it was now MY turn to deal with our aging parents, since she's usually the one "on call" for the rest of the year... fair enough!)  
  • Saying to Mom at dinner one night, "We'll have to ask [Sister] what she remembers about that when she gets here" -- and then completely forgetting what it was that we wanted to ask her about!!  (I still don't remember!)  
Small pleasures: 
  • Being able to help out my parents with various things around the house. 
  • Feasting on our traditional family Thanksgiving dinner, with lots of yummy leftovers. 
  • Chocolate cake (from a mix) with Mom's caramel icing on top -- something I loved as a kid (and still do!). (It didn't last very long!) 
  • Having my mom thank me for all my help in prepping for & then cleaning up from Thanksgiving dinner (particularly since my sister wasn't feeling well and wasn't able to help out as much as she usually does). 
  • Nightly card games (and my dad's obvious pleasure in them). 
    • Winning, now & then. ;) 
  • Working on a jigsaw puzzle together (and being the one who put the last pieces in place!) 
  • Having Dad bring home Timbits (doughnut holes) from Tim Hortons (which opened a location in town a few years ago, during the pandemic) for a treat on the first day we were there. 
  • Gorgeous fall weather and fall colours for the first few days we were there. 
  • Just being able to spend time together, especially after not seeing them in 9 months, and especially after spending so little time together over the past 3-5 years (the pandemic, my medical procedures this summer, FIL's 2018 illness & death, etc.).  :) 
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Monday, October 10, 2022

#MicroblogMondays: Thankful

It is Thanksgiving Day here in Canada, and I'm at "home" in Manitoba with my parents this week, 9 months after my last visit at Christmastime. We had our big turkey dinner yesterday... so many good things to eat! :)  The weather so far has been gorgeous -- 22C/71F today, clear and sunny (albeit it is scheduled to turn colder later this week) -- and I'm glad I brought along a pair of capri yoga pants as well as the longer version and socks. ;)  Parents' Neighbours' Daughter has been by with the Little Princesses (now 8 and 11) and also to play cards (we've had several hotly contested games so far, with more to come.) 

Life is good. :)  


Amur maple trees in Mom & Dad's backyard. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

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Saturday, January 1, 2022

Right now

Right now...* 

*(an occasional (mostly monthly) meme, alternating from time to time with "The Current"). (Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first "The Current" post, here.)

This edition comes to you from my parents' home in a small town on the Prairies of western Canada, where a white Christmas is practically guaranteed!  :)  

Pandemic diary/update: December was Month #21 going on #22 of living with the COVID-19 pandemic. 

So -- fourth wave, anyone??  :(  (Or is it the fifth?? I'm starting to lose track...!)  

Sadly, new cases in Ontario (and in other parts of Canada) absolutely skyrocketed during December, as the highly transmissible new Omicron variant took over from Delta. 780 new cases on Dec. 1st was as good/low as it got. Medical experts warned that, even WITH new public health measures and increased vaccination/booster shots, we could see 10,000 cases by Christmas -- and sadly, that's exactly what happened. :(  

By Dec. 23rd, daily new cases reached a new pandemic high of 5,790 (breaking the previous record of 4,800+ set back in April.)  The next day (Christmas Eve), it was 9,751 and on Christmas Day it was 10,412.  (Ho. Ho. Ho. :p  )  The numbers dipped below 10,000 for a few days but were back at 10,436 on Dec. 29th... then reached 13,807 on Dec. 30th and 16,713 yesterday to close out 2021. :(   Positivity rates were 29.8 per cent. 18,445 new cases today to kick off the new year. :(  (By comparison, the November low was 331 new cases on Nov. 2nd;  high was 964 on Nov. 28th.) And the medical authorities are saying this is just the tip of the iceberg;  actual case numbers are likely much higher, because testing sites are swamped and just can't keep up with requests for appointments, let alone processing results in a timely way. The powers that be are now restricting who can get a PCR test (unless you want to pay $180 at a private facility)(!). And meanwhile, our premier hasn't been seen or heard from for a full two weeks. WTAF?!!  As one Globe & Mail columnist wrote, "We’re in the ‘you’re on your own’ stage of the pandemic."  Lovely. :p  

Plans to drop the use of vaccine passports on Jan. 17th were postponed indefinitely by early/mid-December (DUH, and thank goodness for that!! -- many anti-vaxxers were just waiting things out until that date, knowing they'd then be free to go wherever they wanted without needing proof of vaccination). And on Dec. 15th, capacity at large "indoor entertainment venues, meeting/event spaces and large (1,000+ people) sports venues" was capped at 50 per cent (after capacity restrictions were lifted in mid-October). This includes concerts, theatres/cinemas, racing venues, museums, galleries, aquariums, zoos, science centres, landmarks, historic sites, botanical gardens and similar attractions, as well as casinos, bingo halls and other gaming establishments, fairs, rural exhibitions, and festivals.  But it still took the government another few days, until Dec. 19th, to reintroduce capacity limits  for restaurants & bars and other indoor settings -- even though case levels rose dramatically after limits were lifted in mid-October (and in fact started taking off almost exactly two weeks later, weeks before Omicron was identified... hmmm....).  

Third dose/booster shots began being offered on Dec. 13th to those 50 & older who were at least 168 days past their second shots. Those 18+ were to begin being vaccinated on Jan. 4th -- but on Dec. 15th, that date was moved up to Dec. 20th, and the timeline between second and third shots was compressed to three months. For dh & me, 168 days = Dec. 16th, and we got our boosters that morning at our family dr's office, two days before we flew west to spend Christmas with my family. :)  (This time around it was Pfizer -- we had AstraZeneca for our first shot in April, and Moderna for the second in July, so we have the complete set!  lol)  The province (finally!) started handing out boxes of free rapid tests in a number of public places too (although we weren't around to get any...!).  

Despite the rising case numbers, we were out and about a little more than usual this past month (mostly pre-omicron rise), for a variety of reasons. On top of dh's usual (once or twice weekly) trips to the supermarket for groceries, and to visit Little Great-Nephew at BIL & SIL's (4 times), we dropped off some donations (clothes & books) at Value Village, returned some photo frames (wrong size) to Michaels, went to the bank, and did some Christmas shopping at Chapters (twice) and Shoppers Drug Mart. We returned to our old old/former community on Dec. 11th for haircuts, and (as mentioned above) Dec. 16th for booster shots at our family doctor's office. 

Dh reported for jury duty on Monday (Nov. 29th) -- and was chosen to serve on one! The judge assured him the trial shouldn't last more than two weeks. Happily, it didn't -- we thought dh might have to stay overnight to deliberate on the verdict, but it was delivered in the early evening hours of Dec. 8th & he arrived home around 8:30 that night. Having served, he won't be considered for jury duty again for another three years. :)  

We all (dh & me, BIL & SIL, both nephews & their wives, and Little Great-Nephew, of course) descended on stepMIL to pay her and her family a pre-Christmas visit on Saturday, Dec. 4th. 

Despite the increasingly gloomy outlook re: Omicron, we flew west to visit my family on Saturday, Dec. 18th, which entailed time spent in both Toronto and Winnipeg airports, as well as on the plane (with everyone masked and vaccinated). Since we arrived here, we've mostly stayed at home (because of the frigid temperatures as well as covid...!).  My sister & I did some shopping at a couple of local stores a few days before Christmas (I was double-masked). 

One of Mom & Dad's neighbours dropped by for a few minutes to say hello, masked and keeping his distance by standing in the entryway. Parent's Neighbours' Daughter came over to play cards with us one evening, soon after we arrived. My mother was not comfortable with having her entire family over during the holidays, but dh, BIL/sister's partner & I made a brief (masked, partly outdoors) visit there on Christmas Day to drop off some presents -- and to admire their adorable new puppy!!  We were going to invite her over to play cards again -- BUT before we had the chance to call, she tested positive on a rapid test, and went for a PCR test on Dec. 30th. :(   We're *fairly* confident that we're OK, thanks to our vaccines/boosters, masks, and the fact that more than 5 days have elapsed and we're all still feeling fine. (Knock wood!)  

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 5 books in December (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads, & tagged "2021 books"):
I closed out 2021 with a total of 59 books read -- 164% of my 2021 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 36 books. (This exceeds my best-ever showing in the Goodreads Challenge since I joined in 2016 -- which was 50 books read in all of 2019.) I completed & then exceeded my challenge goal for the year by 23 books, 24 books ahead of schedule. :)  

I am increasing my 2022 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal to 45 books ( = 3.75 books per month, on average). (See my "Reading year in review" post.)  

Current read(s): 
Coming up: 

(Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and this is a great place for me to keep track of what I should read next, lol.) 
A few recently purchased titles (in digital format, mostly discounted or purchased with points):   
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Watching:  
  • We finally got to the end of "The Lost Symbol," the 10-episode TV adaptation of the Dan Brown novel I read earlier in the fall.  To be honest, I think it could (should) have been half as long. The TV writers threw in so many extra (unnecessary, IMHO) characters and subplots that weren't in the book. Poor Langdon was kind of overshadowed in his own story. It was okay -- it started out promisingly, and I enjoyed the Toronto-area locations -- but overall, I wouldn't rate it more than a C or 2.5 stars out of 5. 
  • Not watching:  The Grand Prix figure skating finals in Osaka, Japan, Dec. 9-12. They were cancelled because of Japan's ban on incoming travel (related to the covid omicron variant).  Nationals, Olympics and Worlds coming up in the new year! (unless those get cancelled because of covid too...)  :(  
  • We watched the Grey Cup on Dec. 12th -- the championship game of the Canadian Football League (CFL) -- and the one football game I will watch every year, lol.  This year's game was held in Hamilton, Ontario (after no game was held last year because of covid -- which actually wiped out the entire season altogether), and featured the hometown team (the Tiger-Cats) versus my beloved Winnipeg Blue Bombers. (The Bombers won, in overtime!) 
  • Dh has been watching a lot of NFL and American college football lately -- which I must admit does not interest me in the least. 
    • (The CFL is, at least, Canadian, with its own unique rules and a colourful history, which goes back more than a century -- this was the 108th Grey Cup game. Even dh -- a lifelong Pittsburgh Steelers fan -- thinks the CFL offers a far more exciting game to watch. Yet many people in the Toronto area prefer the NFL, and travel to Buffalo for Bills games, which baffles me. The problem is that without a Toronto team and Toronto fan support, the CFL would find itself in pretty deep financial trouble, possibly even fold -- and that would be a tragedy -- not to mention one more reason for the rest of the country to hate Toronto, lol. )  
Listening:  Christmas/holiday music. And I added a few more music channels to our favourites list while dh was on jury duty, including one for 80s music and another rock channel. :)  

Eating/Drinking: (Still) Trying to be cautious/bland, after a bout of gallstone/digestive issues that began in late October...   :(  When we were still at home, I was eating lots of toast and soda crackers,  chicken soup, chicken, rice and herbal tea. No wine/alcohol, no takeout on Saturday nights, no eggs for Sunday brunch -- for the time being, anyway. :(  

Since being at my parents' house, I've loosened up a little more. My dad cooked up a delicious roast beef dinner, which resulted in some gallstone grief  :(  -- but otherwise, I was able to (mostly) successfully eat pan-fried pickerel, turkey with gravy and stuffing, ham and scalloped potatos, perogies and (tomato sauce-less) cabbage rolls, baked pork chops, eggs, waffles and other good stuff, in moderation/small portions. A few minor twinges here & there, but nothing too notable, thank goodness and continuing to knock wood...! 

Buying (besides books, lol):  
  • Christmas presents! (both online & in store). 
  • A lap desk for my laptop. I already have one at home and bought another one to bring in my suitcase to my parents' house. My mother doesn't like it when we use our laptops at the dining room table, and I am getting too damn old and creaky to sit on the bedroom floor with it in my lap, using a stack of books for a mouse pad. (Yes, I still use a mouse -- don't judge me, lol.)  This will make it easier/more comfortable to use my laptop while sitting on a chair or sofa in the living room or family room. They will be free to use it when I'm not around. :)  
Wearing: I brought an assortment of Old Navy waffle-weave Christmas print PJ tops with me in my suitcase to wear over the Christmas holidays, along with yoga pants. Glad I brought my cardigan and slippers with me -- it has been cold!! 

Wanting:  An end to this pandemic, already!!  

Enjoying:  Lots of games of cards and dominos while at my parents' house. 

Appreciating: Being able to spend Christmas with my family again! 

Noticing:  How much my parents have aged in recent years. :(   

Wondering:  How much longer my parents will be able to stay in their split-level house on the big lot? (And how to persuade them to move sooner vs later, when they might not have any choice??) 

Hoping: To get to the McMichael Gallery (where I have a membership) when we return, to take in the "Uninvited: Canadian Women Artists in the Modern Moment" exhibit before it closes on Jan. 16th. We haven't been there since just before the pandemic began. There's a Group of Seven centenary exhibit that began just before the pandemic in 2020 (that we haven't seen yet) that's on until March 20th, too. (Perhaps a birthday outing?? -- we'll see what the covid situation is like when we return home... Masks and vaccinations are required, as well as timed tickets, purchased/reserved in advance.) 

Also hoping: For better things in 2022!  

Loving:  Seeing the sun shining outside (even if it's been around -30C here for the past several days...!)(colder with the wind chill factored in!).  

Feeling:  VERY happy that we got "home" for Christmas with my family. (But also looking forward to returning to our own space soon!)   Less happy about the skyrocketing covid rates right now. :(  
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