Showing posts with label blogoversary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogoversary. Show all posts

Friday, October 31, 2025

My blog is an adult :)

Where I grew up, you were considered an adult at age 18, able to drink, vote and enlist in the armed forces without parental permission, among other things.  

Today, my blog is an adult.  :)  18 years ago tonight, after the last trick-or-treater departed and we turned out the porch light, I hit "post" on my very first entry here. 18 years and more than 2,600 published posts later (!), I am still here, still writing about pregnancy loss, infertility and childlessness -- which is why I started my blog -- but also about books, getting older, dealing with aging parents (from a distance), being an aunt and great-aunt, living in a condo, living through a pandemic -- in short, life.  

The Internet, and the blogosphere, have changed dramatically over 18 years -- but there are still many of us out here, writing about and connecting over our shared experiences -- if not always in old-style blogs these days, then on Substack, on social media, through podcasts and through private communities such as the Childless Collective. The childless-not-by-choice segments of the infertility and non-parenting communities have grown by leaps and bounds. There's always room for improvement, of course! -- but the progress has been unmistakeable for those of us who have been around a while. (Long may it continue...!) 

How long will I keep writing here?  Who knows?  I never would have imagined, 18 years ago tonight, that I'd still be here. Never say never (either way), right? Granted, my output has slowed a bit in recent years, after hitting an all-time high of 213 posts in 2021 (146 posts last year, 113 to date in 2025, including this one -- last year at this point, I reported 123, versus 146 in 2023, 163 in 2022 and 178 in 2021 -- which turned out to be my most prolific blogging year so far).  But still, not too bad -- and right now, at least, I have no intentions of closing up shop. 

Whether you've been here from the early days or just found this blog recently, thank you all for reading and commenting. :)  

*** *** *** 

Blogging stats, 18 years later:  
 
Number of years blogging: 18

Published posts (including this one): 2,631

Average # of posts per year: 146

Average # of posts per month: 12 

(So far in calendar year 2025, I've published 112 posts -- 113, including this one -- a minimum of 6 posts (in July) and as many as 15 in September (thanks to World Childless Week and its daily themes!).

Published comments: 12,649 

Page views (all time, as of yesterday): 3,608, 027 (!!).  (Last year, I noted  1,959,495 -- i.e., I received as many page views this past year as I have in the previous 17!! -- clearly, something weird is going on, as I noted in this post here -- Infertile Phoenix wrote about the same phenomenon then too.)  

Followers (on Blogger):  155 

Past blogoversary posts here.

First blog post ever here! :) 

Thursday, October 31, 2024

17!

Seventeen (17)(!!) years ago, on Halloween night in 2007 -- 9 years after the stillbirth of our daughter, and 6 years after my last infertility treatment -- I hit "post" here for the very first time, and started my journey down another road less travelled: blogging.  

I'm not sure what more I can say about the past 17 years that I haven't said in my previous years of blogoversary posts. (And I will admit that this post is more or less an update of the ones I've written on this occasion in recent years!)  The blogging world has changed in a huge way since 2007 (most recently morphing into Substacks) -- but for me, blogging has been (and continues to be) a joy and a release and a comfort, and it has enriched my life in so, so many ways.  

I can't let this particular blogoversary go by without mentioning the person who encouraged me to start blogging. :) I'd been lurking around Mel's blog for a few months, throwing out the odd comment and then pulling up a stool and posting in the Lushary (Mel's virtual bar, fondly remembered), before finally taking the plunge. Getting to meet Mel (and her family!) this summer -- after 17 YEARS (!) of online friendship -- which led to so many other wonderful friendships and connections -- was one the highlights of 2024, and certainly of 17 years of blogging to date! 

This year hasn't been quite so prolific in blogging terms as some recent years -- 123 posts so far (including this one), versus 146 to this point in 2023, 163 in 2022 and 178 in 2021 (which turned out to be my most prolific blogging year so far). Still, not too shabby...! ;)  Somehow, I still keep finding things to write about... and I am very glad that people keep reading and commenting!  

Whether you're new here or whether you've been here the entire time (and I know a few of you have!) -- THANK YOU!  ❤

*** *** *** 

Blogging stats, 17 years later:  
 
Number of years blogging: 17

Published posts (including this one): 2,495

Average # of posts per year: 147

Average # of posts per month: 12 

(So far in calendar year 2024, I've published 122 posts -- 123, including this one -- a minimum of 8 posts (in February) and as many as 20 in one month (September -- thanks to World Childless Week and its daily themes!).)

Published comments: 12,474 

Page views (all time): 1,959,495 (!!) 

Followers (on Blogger):  155 

Past blogoversary posts here.

First blog post ever here! :) 

Tuesday, October 31, 2023

Sweet 16 on Halloween :)

Sixteen (16)(!!) years ago, on Halloween night in 2007 -- 9 years after the stillbirth of our daughter, and 6 years after my last infertility treatment -- I hit "post" here for the very first time, and started my journey down yet another road less travelled: blogging.  

I'm not sure what more I can say about the past 16 years that I haven't said in my previous years of blogoversary posts. (And I will admit that this post is more or less an update of the ones I've written on this occasion in recent years!)  The blogging world has changed in a huge way since 2007 -- but blogging has been (and continues to be) a joy and a release and a comfort (and yes, sweet! -- as in 16, lol) --  and it has enriched my life in so, so many ways.  

This year hasn't been quite so prolific in blogging terms as some recent years -- 146 posts so far, versus 163 last year and 178 in 2022. Still, not too shabby...! ;)  Somehow, I still keep finding things to write about... and I am very glad that people keep reading and commenting!  

Whether you're new here or whether you've been here the entire time (and I know a few of you have!) -- THANK YOU!  ❤

*** *** *** 

Blogging stats, 16 years later:  
 
Number of years blogging: 16

Published posts (including this one): 2,348

Average # of posts per year: 147

Average # of posts per month: 12 

(So far in calendar year 2023, I've published 146 posts -- 147, including this one -- a minimum of 10 posts (in June) and as many as 19 in one month (January).)

Published comments: 12,211 

Page views (all time): 1,513,566 (!!) 

Followers (on Blogger):  153 

Past blogoversary posts here.

First blog post ever here! :) 

Monday, October 31, 2022

MicroblogMondays: Blogoversary #15 (!)

Fifteen (15)(!!) years ago, on Halloween night in 2007 -- 9 years after the stillbirth of our daughter, and 6 years after my last infertility treatment -- I hit "post" here for the very first time, and started my journey down yet another road less travelled: blogging.  

I'm not sure what more I can say about the past 15 years that I haven't said in my previous years of blogoversary postsBlogging has been a joy and a release and a comfort, and has brought so much to my life. 

This year hasn't been quite so prolific in blogging terms as 2021 --163 posts so far (not including this one) versus 178 at this time last year. Still, not too shabby...!  Even if I didn't publish another post this year, it would still be my 5th-most productive blogging year out of the past 15!  Somehow, I still keep finding things to write about... and I am very glad that people keep reading and commenting!  

Whether you're new here or whether you've been here the entire time (and I know a few of you have!) -- THANK YOU!  ❤

*** *** *** 

Blogging stats, 15 years later:  
 
Number of years blogging: 15

Published posts (including this one): 2,172

Average # of posts per year: 145

Average # of posts per month: 12 

(So far in calendar year 2022, I've published 163 posts -- 164, including this one -- a minimum of 12 posts (in June) and as many as 20 in one month (September).)

Published comments: 11,813 

Page views (all time):  1,262,923 (!!) 

Followers (on Blogger):  151 

Past blogoversary posts here.

First blog post ever here! :) 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here

Sunday, October 31, 2021

Blogoversary #14

Fourteen (14)(!!) years ago tonight, in 2007, I hit "post" here for the very first time, and started off down the road less travelled (for me, anyway) of blogging.  

I'm not sure what more I can say about the past 14 years that I haven't said in my previous years of blogoversary posts, lol.  Blogging has been a joy and a release and a comfort, and has brought so much to my life -- never more so than during these past 18 months of global pandemic. 

Perhaps not coincidentally, this is shaping up to be one of my most productive blogging years yet, in terms of published posts! -- with 178 posts so far (179 including this one), I've already surpassed every other year that I've been blogging in terms of total posts for the calendar year, except for the last one (and I'm on track to top that one too)... and by year-end (or perhaps early in 2022), I will reach 2,000 posts (!) published in total over 14+ years.

Whether you're new here or whether you've been here the entire time (and I know a few of you have!), THANK YOU all for being here with me! <3 

*** *** *** 

And now, I'm off (this afternoon) with dh, BIL & SIL to Older Nephew's house, about an hour north of us, to witness Little Great-Nephew (who will be 2 in a few weeks' time) heading out in costume with his proud parents for his very first round of trick-or-treating!  We and the grandparents will stay at the house to hand out the candy (and keep the dog from going crazy, lol). After five years of Halloween being a total non-event, living in a condo, I'm looking forward to being part of the excitement again, even on the periphery! Bittersweet, yes -- but I'm thankful that BIL & SIL, as well as Older Nephew & his wife, are so willing to share and to involve us in Little Great-Nephew's life and milestone events.  :) 

*** *** *** 

Blogging stats, 14 years later:

Number of years blogging: 14

Published posts (including this one): 1,973

Average # of posts per year: 141  

Average # of posts per month: 12 

(So far in calendar year 2021, I've published 178 posts -- 179, including this one -- a minimum of 10 (in June) and as many as 24 in one month (May).)

Published comments: 11,319 

Page views (all time):  1,110,270 (HOLY CRAP!!) 

Followers (on Blogger):  151 

Past blogoversary posts here.

First blog post ever here! :) 

Saturday, October 31, 2020

My blog is a teenager :)

(Taking my cue from Lori's "Not So Unlucky 13" post, back in May!)  :)  

October 31, 2007
  • I was 46 years old, married for 22 years. 
  • I was in my 21st year of working in the corporate communications department of one of Canada's major banks. (Dh worked for the same bank too.)  
    • We spent 2+ hours (round trip) commuting (by car & commuter train, door to door to door) to and from work ever day. 
    • October 31st was year-end for my company, with results reported in late November/early December. My department was in charge of all non-financial aspects of the annual report, and October through late January was generally the busiest and most stressful time of the year for us. 
  • We had been living in a smallish three-bedroom house with a big back yard in a pleasant suburb near Toronto for 17 years. We thought we would be there for a few years & then move up to something larger as our family expanded...  
  • Our two nephews were 19 & 15 years old. 
  • It was 9 years after the stillbirth of our daughter, Katie, and 6 years since our last fertility treatment. The 10-year "anniversary" of her loss was looming large in my mind, and I found myself thinking a lot about her and what had happened. 
  • We'd been facilitating the local chapter of a pregnancy loss support group for 7 years, after spending more than a year there as clients ourselves. 
  • I'd been posting & lurking on several online forums for pregnancy loss, infertility and even a (very) few that I'd found for childless-not-by-choice women. And I'd recently discovered blogs -- including Stirrup Queens and Coming2Terms. I was intrigued, and posted a few tentative comments.
  • On Halloween night, I held my breath & hit "publish" on my own very first blog post
October 31, 2020:   
  • I will be 60 on my next birthday (!) and we celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary this past summer. 
  • I was "reorganized" out of my job in July 2014 (at age 53) and took early retirement when my severance ran out. Dh lost his job in April 2013 and did the same. An earlier-than-expected retirement for both of us, but we have not regretted it!  
  • Four years ago, we sold our house of unfulfilled dreams, downsized our belongings and moved into a condo in another suburb on the other side of the city, closer to dh's brother and his family. 
  • Our two nephews are grown up (ages 31 & 28) and married to two lovely young women. One has a son of his own, who will turn one year old, a few weeks from now. :) We love being an aunt & uncle (and now a great-aunt & great-uncle!)!  (It's NOT a substitute for parenting -- but still pretty cool on its own terms...!) 
  • Katie would be 22 years old (!). I still think of her every day. (And we still visit her at the cemetery every time we are back in our old neighbourhood.)
  • We stopped facilitating the pregnancy loss support group in late 2009, but remain in touch with many of the friends we made there. I am still active in several online forums for childless-not-by-choice women. 
  • We're currently living in the middle of a global pandemic that has restricted our ability to travel and limited the time we've been able to spend with family & friends (including my aging parents). :(  It's a good thing we love our condo because we've spent a lot of time here over the past 8 months...! 
  • And... I'm still here, still blogging! And still very grateful for all that blogging has brought to my life these past 13 years. :) 
I don't want to think too much about what might happen over the next 13 years... (for one thing, I will be... HOW OLD??!!). If the past 13 to 22 years has taught me anything, it's that life is unpredictable and we can never know what the future has in store for us, both for better and not-so-good. 

But I will never regret hitting "post" that October night, 13 years ago!  :)  

Thursday, October 31, 2019

Blogoversary #12!

Twelve years!  Today is the TWELFTH anniversary of the day I started this blog, back in 2007!

It's hard to come up with an original "blogoversary" post after 12 years of writing them, lol -- although I have been doing some reflecting lately on how the blogging world has changed, and some of the points I drafted a while back seem suitable for a blogoversary post.

When I started writing here, blogs were mostly personal things. Most bloggers then didn't worry about "monetizing" or "branding" or creating "platforms" or gaining followers. Not that there is anything wrong with this approach... it's just not "me."

As I've said before, I started this blog for two main reasons:  I wanted to add my perspective on childless/free living after infertility & loss to the very few such blogs that existed at the time (Pamela's blog Coming2Terms being one, and one of the very, VERY few from that time that has lasted, albeit in somewhat different form)(Coming2Terms eventually morphed into Silent Sorority).  And I wanted to take part in Stirrup Queen Mel's book club. :)  If you find my posts helpful &/or relatable, if you get something out of what you read here, that's great -- it makes me really happy. :)  But that's not why (or at least the only or primary reason why) I started blogging, and continue to blog.

Social media was in its infancy back then (& basically meant Facebook). These days, it seems most/many bloggers (those who are still blogging!) promote their blogs via Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or some combination thereof.  I've toyed with the idea of starting social media accounts for my blog, but decided against it.  It seems like a lot of work, and I have trouble enough keeping up with my personal accounts as it is...! (Or maybe I'm just lazy, lol.)

That said, having only personal accounts sometimes puts me in a bit of a weird/awkward position. I follow a lot of ALI-related blogs/bloggers/sites on social media -- and sometimes I get requests from them wanting to follow me back. If I have had some personal interaction with you (through comments, emails, etc.), I will probably say yes -- but if I don't really "know" you, I'm a little more reluctant to grant access. My personal accounts are generally just that, personal... I don't post a lot of ALI-related stuff there. If you're following me on social media with the expectation that I'll be providing the same kind of content there as I do here on my blog, you might be disappointed.

Anyway.  Blogging, social media & me may have a slightly uneasy co-existence (lol), but I am glad I'm still here, and that there are now so many, many more places people can go to find support for a life without children. Perhaps still not enough -- and perhaps the attitudes of the fortunately fertile have not changed enough for our liking. But I've seen a LOT of progress over the past 12 years, and I'm looking forward to seeing even more in the future. :)

Blogging stats, 12 years later:

Number of years blogging: 12

Published posts (including this one): 1,574

Average # of posts per year: 132 (up from an average of 128 last year!)

Average # of posts per month: 11
(So far in calendar year 2019, I've published 141 posts -- a minimum of 10 and as many as 19 in one month.)

Published comments: Unfortunately, Blogger only seem to be showing 1000 comments these days?? Nevertheless, I am grateful to all of you who comment!

Page views (tracked since May 2010):  almost 806,000

Followers (on Blogger):  149

Past blogoversary posts here.

First blog post ever here! :) 

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

This blog goes to 11 :)

While I have mixed feelings about Halloween (as a childless person now living in a condo), for the past 11 years, one bright light has always shone for me on this day.

Because it was 11 years ago, on Halloween night, that I published my very first post on this blog. :)

11 is not one of those "milestone" numbers divisible by 5 (as last year's 10th blogoversary was), but it's still pretty amazing, especially in terms of the ALI blogosphere, I think. :) Not everyone who was blogging back then is still around (although some wonderful friends still are -- including Lori, Pamela, and, of course, Mel, who encouraged me to start my own blog after I started leaving comments on hers.) I'm sure I never expected to still be here, 11 years after that first post -- but I still keep finding things to write about -- so here I am...!

You're still here too, reading & commenting, which also helps keep me going. Thank you all!  The road less travelled feels a lot less lonely when I know you are walking along the same (or similar/adjacent) with me.

Blogging stats, 11 years later:

Number of years blogging: 11

Published posts (including this one): 1,412

Average # of posts per year: 128

Average # of posts per month: 11
(So far in calendar year 2018, I've managed at least 10 posts per month, and as many as 18.)

Published comments: Blogger only seem to be showing 1000 comments these days?? But last year, I reported more than 8,800+ !

Page views (tracked since May 2010):  720,000+

Followers (on Blogger):  147

Past blogoversary posts here.

And now (because I simply could NOT resist...!!).... ;)




Wednesday, November 8, 2017

10 things I've learned after 10 years of blogging

...about living childless/free after loss & infertility.

(I recently celebrated my 10-year blogoversary, & posted about it here! )(I've been struggling with pg loss & infertility for almost 20 years now.... blogs didn't exist back then, but I did find support in other online forums. Some of these thoughts would also apply to my experiences there.)
  • There are certainly trolls online -- but there are also some very nice people out there.  And some of them can wind up being your very good friends :) even though you've never met. 
  • You will never make everyone happy, so you might as well blog to please yourself. 
  • Your blog, your rules. :)  It's nice if you make it clear somewhere on your blog -- in your "About" section or at the top of your post -- what new readers can generally expect, but don't feel the need to apologize for writing about your pregnancy, your hard-won family, or anything else.
  • There will be dry spells when you have no ideas and/or no motivation to write. They will pass. 
  • Writing out your thoughts & feelings and organizing them into a cohesive, readable narrative (at least I hope it's cohesive & readable??) can definitely be therapeutic. 
  • Comments are gifts.  (And gifts should be given, as well as received!)   
  • Even if you're not blogging under your own name & take precautions to remain anonymous, there's always the chance that someone you know is going to find your blog. (For me, the older I get and the longer I blog, the less I worry about that.)(I'm still not telling people I know about the blog, though, lol...)  
  • Leaving comments on WordPress when you blog on Blogger can be a real pain sometimes (even when you created a WordPress account specifically to make it easier to leave comments.).  :(  (If you blog on WordPress and you haven't heard from me lately, check your spam folder -- you may have comments from me languishing there...). 
  • There are not as many active bloggers in the ALI community as there were when I first started blogging... but that does not mean that blogs are passe, or that the support is not there. Some of it has just moved on to different forums (on Facebook & Twitter, for example).  But if you're like me and find it difficult to contain your thoughts to 140 characters, you might want to consider blogging. ;)   
  • As I recently told Different Shores in a comment, I never would have imagined 10 years ago that I would still be blogging, 10 years later... but somehow I keep finding things to write about (albeit not all infertility & loss related).  I will say that while there's still not a day that goes by that infertility, loss &/or childlessness don't pop up in some way, shape or form, there's a whole lot less angst that goes along with it. :)  And that's a good feeling! 
What have you learned from blogging (no matter how long you've been at it)?  

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Top 10* blog posts from the past 10 years

( * as determined by Blogger's pageview stats for "all time" -- i.e., since May 2010, which I guess is as far back as they go...!  Interestingly, four of the top 10 posts come from the current year.)

(with apologies to Lori Lavender Luz, from whom I lifted this idea ;)  )

#10: Childless/Condo Halloween (October 31, 2016):  In which I talk about my changing relationship with Halloween as a childless woman -- particularly since we moved into a condo earlier in the year.  Interesting and timely, since yesterday was also Halloween (as well as my 10-year blogoversary!).

#9: "Rocking the Life Unexpected" by Jody Day (January 3, 2014):  My review of Jody Day's ground-breaking book (which has since been expanded & retitled "Living the Life Unexpected."). I would highly recommend it!

#8: "Maudie" (May 2, 2017):  My review of the movie starring Sally Hawkins & Ethan Hawke, about the Canadian folk artist Maud Lewis (and yes, there's a bit of an ALI angle).

#7:  "Emotional labour" and childless women (February 28, 2017):  I reflect on the concept of "emotional labour" and how it applies to childless women.

#6: #MicroblogMondays: Selfish? (April 24, 2017):  I reflect on the myth that people without children are "selfish."

#5:  Mugged  (April 18, 2017):  Pre-Mother's Day rant: "Where the frack are the mugs for aunties??"

#4:  Dear Aunt Flo (February 12, 2012):  Looking back on a very looooonnnnnngggg & tumultuous relationship with Aunt Flo (i.e., my period) -- & kindly telling her it's time to get lost. (For the record, it's now more than five years later... I am 56 years old... and she's STILL HERE...!!!!!!)

#3:  Article: "Canada's U.S. baby boom" (May 5, 2008):  I shared the text of a newspaper article I found about how the lack of NICU spaces in Canadian hospitals was resulting in women with high-risk pregnancies being sent to hospitals in the United States. I shared it because I sympathized with the plight of these women (& their babies) -- many of whom had already been through the wringer with infertility treatment and prior pregnancy losses. But as I observed in a post marking my 4th blogoversary in 2011, I noticed that, for some strange reason, this post seemed consistently popular:
I couldn't figure out why this particular post drew so many hits, particularly throughout 2009 -- until it hit me that the rise in interest coincided with the U.S. debate over "Obamacare" (!!). 
In other words, I suspect my post was being read & passed around by anti-Obamacare forces as an example of the supposed inadequacies of the Canadian healthcare system (&, by implication, the superiority of the U.S. system). This was certainly NOT my intention. I know our system is not perfect -- but I daresay there are women in rural communities in the U.S. who likewise have to travel some distance to get the healthcare they need (not to mention women who are denied the care they need because the hospital doesn't accept their health insurance -- NOT a scenario we ever have to worry about in Canada). Sorry to my American readers -- I would never trade!
#2:  Giving up vs letting go (April 5, 2013):  I shared a quote that I found in a Facebook item, from someone named Danielle Koepke, that articulated the difference between giving up & letting go. I had no idea who Danielle Koepke was (I tried to Google her several times) -- I just liked the quote.  It's only checking again now that I realize her name is spelled "Daniell" without an "e".  As you can see in the comments section, she seems to have some detractors.  ;) "Danielle Koepke" is #10 in the top 10 keyword search terms that brings people to my blog, which helps explain some of the traffic on this post over the years.

#1:  Oh, the irony -- Julia CHILD was childless (August 9, 2009):  I wrote this post after going to see the movie "Julie & Julia," with Meryl Streep as Julia Child. This is by FAR my most-ever viewed post. How far?  My #2 post (in terms of page views) has racked up more than 3200 page views (albeit over just 4.5 years). By comparison, my post about Julia Child has had more than 25,000 page views (albeit over a longer period of time, 8 years). It is also among my top 5 viewed posts in terms of day, week and month.  It's also one of my most commented-on posts, with 53 comments logged to date (and counting.... they are still coming in, from time to time!).  Five of the top 10 all-time keyword searches that lead people to this blog (including the #1 keyword search "Julia Child children")  relate to the "Julie & Julia" post.

(This was an interesting exercise, and I enjoyed looking back at some of these posts. Have you ever checked your stats for your most-viewed posts? Noticed anything interesting?)

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

10 years down the road less travelled

I'm more than a little amazed to be writing this. Today marks exactly 10 years -- TEN YEARS!! -- since I hit "publish" on my very first blog post!

When I wrote that very first post on October 31, 2007, I stated two reasons why I was starting a blog: (1) to add my voice to the (very) few I could find at that time that were articulating the views of women (& men) who remain childless/free after infertility, & (2) to participate in Mel's next book tour. (The book we were discussing then? "The Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood. Plus ca change..)  And, although I didn't articulate it (or perhaps even realize it) at the time, I was also looking for an outlet as I approached the emotionally charged 10-year "anniversary" of my one and only pregnancy, which ended in my daughter's stillbirth at 26 weeks that August (1998).

For the first few years here, I poured out my pent-up angst on various matters related to infertility, stillbirth, and living without children in a world gone mad for baby bumps. (I had already found relief online on various message boards and listservs, but blogging was a slightly different experience, and clearly satisfied an itch I clearly didn't know I had.)  I relived my pregnancy in a series of "10 years later" posts, "1998 memories," and then followed it up a few years later by reliving my experiences with infertility treatment 10 years later in "The Treatment Diaries."

These days, happily, there are a LOT more of us keeping each other company on this road less travelled, writing and speaking out about the ups (yes, they exist!) as well as the downs of life without children. (There was a fabulous article in The Guardian earlier this month, which called us "a movement."  Yes!!) (If you haven't read it yet, please do!)  And after 10 years, I'm still finding stuff to write about (averaging 11 posts per month -- not bad...!)  I still vent from time to time, and ponder (and re-ponder) various aspects of childless/free living and the grief of missing a child who never took a breath.

But I also write about the books I've read, places we've travelled to, being an aunt, early retirement (the pros & the cons), condo living (something we probably wouldn't have done -- at least this soon in our lives -- if we'd had kids) and just about anything else I feel like writing about. After all, my blog, my rules. ;)  And a childless life is not just about childlessness;  it's also about having a life and making the most of it, regardless of the hand we've been dealt.

As I said on my first blogoversary:
Blogging has been the release & record I sought -- and more. It has been a blessing in my life. I did not know who, if anyone, would care to read my blog, and I didn't start out with the intention of writing for an audience. The blog is, first and foremost, for me. But it's been gratifying to read your comments, to feel your support, to know you're out there struggling with the same issues and feelings too -- that you understand.
Those words are still true today.

I'm pondering a few more posts on the blogoversary/10 years later theme...  watch for them to come over the next few days/weeks.

For now, I'm stealing a question from Lori Lavender Luz :)  :  
What were you doing 10 years ago? 
Thank you all for reading/listening, commenting and just being here. I know there are a few of you who have been here since or very near the beginning!  But I do want to give special thanks to Mel for her encouragement & support, both at the very start & over the 10 years since then, and to Pamela for being my fellow traveller and role model for this entire journey to date. ;)  :)    

(Past blogoversary posts can be found here.)

*** *** ***

Blogging stats, 10 years later:  

Number of years blogging: 10 (!!) 
Published posts (including this one): 1,282 

Average # of posts per year: 128
Average # of posts per month: 11
Published comments: more than 8,800+
Page views (tracked since May 2010):  almost 626,000    
Followers (on Blogger):  146 


Monday, October 31, 2016

#MicroblogMondays: 9

How's this for scary -- it's not just Halloween today, it's my blogoversary. My NINTH blogoversary. Yikes!!

As I said at this time last year, "I'm not always sure how I keep coming up with things to write about, but hey, I'm still here...!" 

Here are a few updated stats to ponder:

Number of years blogging:  9

Published posts (including this one): 1,115
Average # of posts per year: 124
Average # of posts per month: 10
Published comments: more than 8,090
Page views (tracked since May 2008):  471,000+   
Followers (on Blogger):  143

As always -- thank you all for reading/listening, commenting and just being here.

Blogoversary #8 (2015)
Blogoversary #7 (2014)
Blogoversary #6 (2013)
Blogoversary #5 (2012)
Blogoversary #4 (2011)
Blogoversary #3 (2010)
Blogoversary #2 (2009)
Blogoversary #1 (2008)
First post

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.    

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Crazy 8 :)

Eight years ago tonight, I sat down & pressed "publish" on my very first blog post.

EIGHT YEARS.

That's a long time. :) 

Unlike many other ALI bloggers, I started blogging nine years post-Katie (17 years now) and six years post-fertility treatments (14 years now).

And now 8 years has gone by.

I'm not always sure how I keep coming up with things to write about, but hey, I'm still here...!

Here are a few updated stats:  

Number of years blogging:  8
Published posts (including this one): 973 (and I'm hoping to crack 1,000 before 2015 is over :)  )
Average # of posts per year: 122
Average # of posts per month:  10
Published comments: more than 7,225
Page views (tracked since May 2008):  369,100+  
Followers:  151

One thing I know that's kept me writing is the growing number of other childless/free bloggers to "talk" to and share experiences with.  As I mentioned in my blogoversary post last year, when I first started writing here, there were just a handful of blogs dedicated to living without children after loss &/or infertility. (Most notably, Pamela Jeanne, who is still blogging at Silent Sorority, was already out there with her original blog, Coming2Terms.) 

Today, there are a lot more of us in this corner of the ALI community -- and the numbers are continuing to grow. There are some really excellent blogs out there (which you can find in the blogrolls on the right side of this page), and communities such as Life Without Baby, founded by Lisa Manterfield, and Gateway Women, the brainchild of Jody Day in the United Kingdom. And earlier this month, Karen Malone Wright of The NotMom organized the first-ever conference for women without children in Cleveland, which brought together more than 100 women from across the United States, as well as Canada, China, Hong Kong and Iceland! That's pretty amazing!

More than 1 in 5 women today do not and probably will never have children, by choice or for a variety of complex other reasons -- and there's a growing momentum within this community. More and more, we are writing and speaking up about our experiences -- the good and the bad -- and drawing some much-needed attention to our unique issues and needs. And the rest of the world is (finally!) starting to take notice. Slowly but surely, we're making progress.

As always -- thank you all for reading/listening, commenting and just being here.

Blogoversary #7 (2014)
Blogoversary #6 (2013)
Blogoversary #5 (2012)
Blogoversary #4 (2011)
Blogoversary #3 (2010)
Blogoversary #2 (2009)
Blogoversary #1 (2008)
First post

Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloblogoversaween :)

Here's a slightly scary thought: not only is today Halloween, it's also my seven-year blogoversary.  SEVEN.  It's hard for me to realize that this blog has been part of my life for that long. If you had asked me, seven years ago tonight, whether I would still be here seven years later, I probably would have said no. Surely, 16 years after Katie's stillbirth, 13 years post-fertility treatments, now in my 50s, approaching menopause, I would have run out of things to write about by now? 

Apparently not. ;)  Here are a few stats: 

Number of years blogging:  7
Published posts (including this one): 832
Average # of posts per year: 119
Average # of posts per month:  10
Published comments: more than 6,300
Page views (tracked since May 2008):  266,685 
Followers:  146

A lot has changed in the blogosphere these past seven years: many of the bloggers I followed when I first started blogging have disappeared. Some of the absentees, I know, achieved their dream of motherhood and are presumably, understandably busy. Others just vanished (some with explanation, some not) and I wonder what happened to them, whether they achieved their goals and (regardless), whether they are happy today. A handful remain (& I am so happy you're still hanging in there!). 

One big change: when I first started writing here, there were just a few blogs dedicated to living without children after loss &/or infertility. (Most notably, Pamela Jeanne, who is still blogging at Silent Sorority, was already out there with her original blog, Coming2Terms.)  Today, there are a lot more of us in this corner of the ALI community -- and the numbers are continuing to grow.  There's a growing segment of the population that does not and will not have children, for whatever reasons, and increasingly, we are speaking up and writing about our experiences -- about the many reasons why we are living without children, and why it is not necessarily a bad thing (even when it's not the life we once wanted for ourselves). The media & the public are starting to take note, to listen and to learn. Overall, I think that's a good thing.

As always -- thank you all for reading/listening, commenting and just being here.

Blogoversary #6 (2013)
Blogoversary #5 (2012)
Blogoversary #4 (2011)
Blogoversary #3 (2010)
Blogoversary #2 (2009)
Blogoversary #1 (2008)
First post

Friday, November 1, 2013

Now we are six

Yesterday was my six-year blogoversary. :)  Because it was Halloween & because it's been the week from heck, I wasn't able to get anything posted before this. (I was ready to start writing my annual "I hate November" post/vent in October, lol.) 

Anyway: 

Number of years blogging:  6
Published posts (including this one): 765
Published comments: almost 5,800
Page views (tracked since May 2008):  almost 187,000 
Average # of posts per year: 128
Average # of posts per month:  11
Followers:  140
Feelings of gratitude for what 6 years of blogging has given me:  Priceless : )

Thank you all for reading/listening, commenting and just being here.

Blogoversary #5 (2012)
Blogoversary #4 (2011)
Blogoversary #3 (2010)
Blogoversary #2 (2009)
Blogoversary #1 (2008)
First post

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Five years : )

Five years.

It's not just Halloween tonight -- it's also five years since I published my very first blog post. There is something about these "anniversaries" that are divisible by 5, isn't there??

If you had asked me then if I thought my blog would last five years, I wouldn't have known what to tell you. I've been a member of several online communities for longer than five years (some ALI-related, some not;  I've known some of my online friends for 10 years or more, although our relationships have generally spanned more than one online forum -- some began on e-mail lists &/or message boards and now flourish on Facebook, for example). Longevity & attachment are certainly in my nature, even in the fast-changing world of the Internet. ; )

I had stumbled onto a few infertility blogs about a year earlier -- including, of course, Stirrup Queens, where I made a few tentative, anonymous comments at the Lushary and wished I could jump into the book club discussions.  I was intrigued by the give & take of the comments, of the ability to flex my writer's muscles & write mini-essays on the topics of my choice.

I knew there were other childless/free-not-by-first-choice women out there, like me -- I wanted to find more of them, and I wanted more of them to know they weren't alone -- that while it's certainly hard not being a mother in a world gone mad for baby bumps, it doesn't have to be the end of the world either.

But I honestly wasn't quite sure what I was getting myself into.

And now, here I am, five years (660 published posts, including this one; more than 5,200 published comments and almost 123,000 page views)(page views since May 2008) later, still blogging, still managing to find things to write about. That's an average of 11 posts per month. I have 127 "followers" & almost 270 subscribers through Google Reader. Wow!

There was a brief, temporary interruption in my writing earlier this year, when I was inadvertently "outed" by a relative who stumbled on my blog & published a link to it on Facebook, of all places (!). As I said at the time:
(If this past week has taught me anything -- besides reinforcing that nothing is private online -- it's how much I enjoy blogging and what a release it can be to write out my feelings & connect to others in similar situations in this way. And how much I miss my blog and the interaction it affords, when it's not there.)
Not being able to blog, albeit briefly, also made me realize this:
I've always said that I blog first & foremost for myself, but hey, let's face it -- if I really just wanted to write for myself, I would have written in a paper journal & hid it in one of my drawers or under my mattress, like I did when I was a teenager.
One of the nicest things about blogging is the company.  I've "met" some wonderful women (and men) through the ALI blogging community, and I've fulfilled my goal of finding other childless/free bloggers. We're definitely not alone these days:  there are more and more of us coming out of the woodwork all the time.

Whether I'm still blogging in another five years, I'm glad that I hit "publish" on that first post five years ago tonight. And I'm grateful to all of you for being here. : )

Blogoversary #4 (2011)
Blogoversary #3 (2010)
Blogoversary #2 (2009)
Blogoversary #1 (2008)
First post

Monday, October 31, 2011

Blogoversary #4

How's this for scary stuff on Halloween? It's my fourth blogoversary today. : )

I started this blog because, even though I was almost 10 years past Katie's stillbirth and six years past stopping infertility treatments & the decision to remain childless/free, loss & infertility were still a big part of my life, and I felt I still had something to say on these topics.

That was four years, 556 posts ago (including this one). That's an average of 12 posts per month or 3 per week. Not bad.

According to my stats tab, I've had more than 68,000 page views for "all time" -- which is actually just since May 2009. That's pretty wild! My readers are overwhelmingly from the U.S., then my own Canada -- followed by UK, Australia, Germany, Russia, France, Israel, Ukraine & Netherlands. I've received more than 4,400 comments. Without doing an exhaustive search, I'm pretty sure that the post that got the most comments ever -- 63 -- was last year's entry about our 25th wedding anniversary (it was also my Creme de la Creme pick for last year, which boosted my comments somewhat).

My all-time most-read post, without question, is my 2009 review of the movie Julie & Julia. It still continues to be at the top of my hit list, most weeks that I check, and I still get comments on that post too (49 to date) -- often from someone who is not necessarily familiar with the ALI blogging community but who saw the movie, was intrigued by Julia's childlessness and Googled something like "Julia Child childless." Six of my all-time top 10 search key words relate to "Julia Child" paired with either the words "children" or "infertility."

Second in terms of all-time hits is a post was my rerun of a 2008 Globe & Mail article called "Canada's U.S. baby boom," about women with high-risk pregnancies in rural communities being sent to the U.S., because of the lack of space in local high-risk units. My interest was the topic of high-risk pregnancy & the lack of a national birthing plan in general. I couldn't figure out why this particular post drew so many hits, particularly throughout 2009 -- until it hit me that the rise in interest coincided with the U.S. debate over "Obamacare" (!!).

In other words, I suspect my post was being read & passed around by anti-Obamacare forces as an example of the supposed inadequacies of the Canadian healthcare system (&, by implication, the superiority of the U.S. system). This was certainly NOT my intention. I know our system is not perfect -- but I daresay there are women in rural communities in the U.S. who likewise have to travel some distance to get the healthcare they need (not to mention women who are denied the care they need because the hospital doesn't accept their health insurance -- NOT a scenario we ever have to worry about in Canada). Sorry to my American readers -- I would never trade!

I'll admit my output this year has slowed a bit. Blogging is like any kind of writing (including what I do for work) -- sometimes I feel like I'm brimming over with inpiration -- stuff I want to say, & how I want to say it -- & the words just tumble out onto my keyboard; other times, I stare & stare at the screen and nothing clicks. Sometimes there's stuff I'd like to say, but life (and work in particular, and particularly at this time of year) intervenes. (How dare it, right?? lol)

But while I may not have had much time to read or write blog posts lately -- and while I'm now 50 years old and 10 years out from fertility treatments -- I don't feel my interest in this community has waned. I still feel like I have things I want to say. I plan to keep on writing. And although, as I've said before, I primarily blog for myself, it's nice to know that you're out there too, reading & commenting. Thank you!! : )

Blogoversary #3 (2010)
Blogoversary #2 (2009)
Blogoversary #1 (2008)
First post

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Blogoversary #3

Has it really been three years since I started this blog?

Three years, 1,095 days, 462 posts. On average, that's about 154 posts per year, 13 posts a month, 3 posts per week or 1 post every 2.4 days. Not bad, really. ; ) (Can you tell I like stats?) I've enjoyed every moment of it -- not only getting my own thoughts out there, but getting to know so many of you & your stories. I'm particularly happy that the voices of the childless/free-not-by-choice segment of the blogging community seem to be growing louder. It's nice to know there is company on this road less travelled!

Thank you all for reading & commenting!

First post

Blogoversary #1 (2008)

Blogoversary #2 (2009)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Blogoversary #2!

Two years ago last night, I took the plunge. I'd been setting things up for a day or so, but after the trick-or-treaters had gone home and we closed the front door and turned off the lights, I came upstairs to the computer & hit "publish" on my very first blog post.

I intended to do the same last night -- but after the last kids had left our doorstep & we closed up shop for the night, I got watching "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" on TV for the umpteenth time -- & after a half-hour of that, following a full day of cleaning, laundry & getting ready for the big night ahead, I was exhausted, so I crawled into bed around 10.

(I've only ever seen the entire movie all the way through once or twice -- including once at a decrepid old theatre on Main Street in downtown Winnipeg in about 1982, where we squirted water pistols & hurled toast & toilet paper & yelled at the screen (and Winnipeggers will know what I mean when I talk about Main Street -- I kept my feet off the floor through almost the entire movie because I was afraid a rat would run over it). But whenever it's on -- which is usually on or around Halloween -- I simply have to watch it, at least up to "Time Warp" (which was always played at our university residence socials) followed by Tim Curry strutting his stuff through "Sweet Transvestite," & I'm good for another year.)

("Phantom of the Paradise" was on at 11, but I couldn't stay awake for that. It was a huge, HUGE hit when I was in junior high in the mid-1970s -- I can still sing along to the soundtrack. I did not realize until many years later that it was actually a flop everywhere in the world except, oddly, for Winnipeg/Manitoba. Go figure. Anyone else ever see it? )

Anyway -- including that very first post and this one, it's now 330 posts later. (165 posts a year, about 14 a month or one every other day on average. Not bad.) When I wrote that very first post, I stated two intentions: (1) to add my voice to the few I could find, articulating the view of women (& men) who remain childless/free after infertility, & (2) to participate in Mel's next book tour. Although I didn't articulate it at the time, I was also looking for an outlet as I approached the 10-year "anniversary" of my daughter's stillbirth.

I've written about all these things and more -- some IF/loss related, some not. And I've loved every minute of it. I don't always get to write (or to read or comment on your blogs) as often as I like -- "real life" has this nasty habit of intruding, lol -- but, as I said last year, on the occasion of Blogoversary #1:
Blogging has been the release & record I sought -- and more. It has been a blessing in my life. I did not know who, if anyone, would care to read my blog, and I didn't start out with the intention of writing for an audience. The blog is, first and foremost, for me. But it's been gratifying to read your comments, to feel your support, to know you're out there struggling with the same issues and feelings too -- that you understand.
Thanks again for reading/listening & commenting!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Blogoversary!

One year ago tonight, I took my first tentative steps into the blogosphere -- encouraged by the Stirrup Queen herself. I was intrigued by the whole idea of blogging, & had been lurking on a handful of infertility & loss blogs for more than a year. I was also looking for an outlet to record some of my memories & explore my feelings as I approached the 10-year "anniversary" of my daughter's stillbirth -- but I was a little afraid of putting myself "out there" -- just as I had been the very first time I had posted on an Internet bulletin board. (And I was dying to add my $.02 to Mel's online book club!)

So here I am, one year and 179 posts later, and very glad that I did. Blogging has been the release & record I sought -- and more. It has been a blessing in my life. I did not know who, if anyone, would care to read my blog, and I didn't start out with the intention of writing for an audience. The blog is, first and foremost, for me. But it's been gratifying to read your comments, to feel your support, to know you're out there struggling with the same issues and feelings too -- that you understand. I even managed to reconnect with a longtime online friend I hadn't been in touch with in some time.

I'm especially grateful to those of you who are also living childless/free/(whatever term you prefer) after infertility & loss in a world seemingly gone mad for pregnant women & babies -- Pamela Jeanne, Irish Girl, Alacrity, Dianne, Me and others. I knew you had to be out there, & there is definitely strength and comfort in numbers, even if none of us ever thought we'd wind up here, or came to this life travelling exactly the same road.

Thank you!!