Showing posts with label other people's pregnancies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label other people's pregnancies. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 10, 2026

"The Mitford Affair" by Marie Benedict

My latest read is "The Mitford Affair" by Marie Benedict, a book recommended by my book club co-host (and a potential future read with the group). I already knew a bit about the six Mitford sisters -- offspring of a well-connected British family, who came to prominence as young women in pre-World War II -- and I've long wanted to read more about them. 

"The Mitford Affair" focuses on the family's three eldest daughters in alternating, short chapters:  Nancy, the oldest, who narrates her sections in the first person; Diana, the family's golden girl, who leaves her Guinness heir husband for the (married!) British fascist leader, Oswald Mosley; and Unity, a misfit whose zealous devotion to fascism and the Nazi Party takes her to Germany, where she develops a relationship with the Fuhrer himself, Adolf Hitler. (Next-youngest sister Jessica, known as Decca, plays a lesser role in the story -- she's a dedicated Communist, in contrast to Diana & Unity's fascism -- while younger sisters Pamela and Deborah and brother Tom are barely seen or heard from.)  

The book follows the family, and the three oldest sisters in particular, from 1932 to 1941, and explores the growing tensions between Diana and Unity's increasing devotion to the Nazi cause and Nancy's increasing unease with it -- which comes to a climax when the war begins.  

This was the first book I've read by Marie Benedict, who has written other historical novels focused on interesting women, including actress/scientist Hedy Lamarr, physicist Mitza Maric Einstein, scientist Rosalind Franklin, author Agatha Christie, and Lady Clementine Churchill (a cousin of the Mitfords who also pops up in "The Mitford Affair," along with her husband Winston -- also a cousin to the family). It was a little on the long side, and could probably have been a bit shorter. The constant back and forth between the different characters' stories and viewpoints felt a bit choppy at times, and I was slightly annoyed at first by all the nicknames the sisters have for each other and the people around them, until I finally got them all straight....! 

That said, despite its length and the shifting viewpoints, this was, overall, a fast, easy and interesting read that kept me turning the pages, especially near the end, and especially once the war began in 1939. I finished it in just three days.  (Dare I say, Nancy's struggles to understand her sisters' obsession with a charismatic but volatile leader and his distasteful political philosophy resonated with this modern-day reader...!)  And now, having read this fictional account of the Mitfords' lives, I'm curious to read something on the non-fiction side about them to learn more :) -- and perhaps also read a novel or two by Nancy Mitford, some of which are mentioned in the book.   

I was initially thinking 3.5 stars on StoryGraph and debating whether to round up or down on Goodreads -- but the last 20% or so of the book prompted me to assign 4 stars even.   

ALI/CNBC note: There's a subplot related to Nancy's efforts -- ultimately unsuccessful -- to have children. CNBC readers will relate to Nancy's encounters with her more fertile, pregnant sisters.     

This was Book #12 read to date in 2026 (and Book #2 finished in June), bringing me to 30% of  my 2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 40 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 5 books behind pace to meet my goal.  :(  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2026 tagged as "2026 books.

Monday, March 9, 2026

#MicroblogMondays: Dark shadows

Little Great-Niece's 3rd birthday party was this past weekend. We hadn't seen any of the family in a full month, so it was great to see everyone and catch up.  

While we were chatting, Older Nephew's Wife mentioned to SIL that she was going to her cousin's baby shower the next day (Sunday/yesterday). Then I caught the ominous words:  "...high-risk pregnancy... the baby is small... issues..."  

SIL rushed to assure her that the doctors had told her Older Nephew was going to be a small baby -- and he was born at more than 8 pounds (and is now 37 years old and more than 6 feet tall). 

Older Nephew's Wife wasn't sure exactly what the problem is, but she knew that it's a high-risk pregnancy, there are  problems, and not simply a matter of the baby measuring small for dates. 

I've met this cousin a couple of times -- a friendly, vivacious young woman, who bonded with dh over their shared love of the Pittsburgh Steelers. I asked what hospital she was going to have the baby at (ONW wasn't sure). 

After that, I kept my mouth shut, and the conversation moved on to other topics.

I don't want to be the dark shadow, the voice of doom. And so often, these things DO turn out all right. Most people do get their ultimate happy ending. 

But I'm living proof that sometimes (more often than most people think or want to imagine) they don't. And it's not an experience I would wish upon my worst enemy.

She will be in my thoughts until I know the baby is here and both are fine. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.

Monday, December 16, 2024

#MicroblogMondays: Adding insult to injury....

Thanks to those of you who empathized over the fall I took last Tuesday. I have to say (again) just how lucky I feel. It was a scary experience -- but it could have been so much worse!  

I'm actually kind of amazed at how quickly I'm healing.  I still have a faint purplish shadow and some abrasions on my left cheek (which, at a glance, could probably pass for rosacea...!), but they're healing fast. There's another abrasion above my left upper lip that's healing too -- less and less noticeable every day.  It looks like I'm recovering from a large cold sore!  The lip itself is a lot better too.  The scrapes on on my hands are still noticeable, but they're gradually healing.  The bruises on my knees too, but they're not so noticeable under my clothes!  

I did feel a lot of fatigue for a couple of days afterward, which I chalked up to the shock & trauma. But then I started having a lot of sinus drainage (more than usual)... which caused a scratchy throat, and triggered coughing.  By Saturday, I suspected I was coming down with a cold. By the time I woke up on Sunday morning, I knew it. I developed an awful cough, had a crappy night, and feel pretty crappy this morning too. (Thanks a lot for passing it on, dh...!)(eyeroll) 

My first instinct was to take a covid test yesterday, which was, thankfully, negative. I repeated the test this morning (also negative). So I guess it's not covid, which is a good thing -- but it is still nasty! 

Then (yesterday morning), BIL called. It was Older Nephew's birthday. We hadn't heard anything about a celebration, either at BIL's or at their place -- not surprisingly, since Older Nephew's wife is less than a week away from a scheduled C-section! and obviously has other things on her mind!  ;)  Now BIL was proposing to drive up there with a cake, and they wanted to know if we wanted to come. 

Well, of COURSE we wanted to come! -- BUT. There was no way on this green earth that I was going to expose a 39-weeks pregnant woman to my germs. I always worry about any pregnant woman until the baby is here and I know both of them are okay -- but obviously, this is my niece-in-law (and Great-Nephew #2), which ups the worry factor considerably (not to mention the incredible GUILT I would feel if one or both got sick because of me!). 

So dh went with them, by himself -- and I stayed at home and felt sorry for myself, lol.  

What's REALLY frustrating is that this always -- always!! -- seems to happen right around this time of year. I don't know if it's because there are lots of bugs going around, if pre-holiday stress lowers the defenses of your immune system or what -- but THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME FOR THIS, BODY!! 

It's a busy week ahead.  We'd planned to go to the mall this morning to do some more Christmas shopping, and get in some of that EXERCISE we're supposed to be getting (to lose weight & lower our cholesterol, along with eating better). Needless to say, with dh sick and now me, that hasn't been happening. I would say I'm 85-90% done shopping, but I still have two gifts and some more stocking stuffers to get.

I'm supposed to head back downtown to the dentist on Wednesday for the checkup and cleaning I missed.  Hopefully, I will be able to make that appointment, because I really don't want to postpone it until January -- but I'm having my doubts...!  (I'm pretty sure there was no real damage done when I fell last Tuesday, but it would make me feel better to have that confirmed ASAP.)  

Our new great-nephew is also arriving later this week!  Unfortunately, even if I was feeling better, it's doubtful we'll be able to see him before we head off for the holidays. :(  But the night before the operation, Older Nephew & his wife are bringing Little Great-Nephew (and the dog!) to stay with BIL & SIL, so we may be able to see LGN then -- again, so long as I'm feeling better.   

Based on the timeline of how dh's cold ran, I *should* be feeling better by the time we're scheduled to fly. I will, of course, wear a mask in the airport and on the plane. Too many germs around right now (and I don't want to add to them, or pick up any new ones!). 

Wish me luck...! 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here

Sunday, December 1, 2024

Right now

Right now...* 

*(an occasional (mostly monthly) meme, alternating from time to time with "The Current"). (Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first "The Current" post, here.)

November was mostly grey and gloomy (as November usually is...!). But grey skies aside, for a month that I have historically NOT had a good relationship with (lol) it wasn't too bad -- some fun family time, some hints of Christmas coming... (Also, it went by pretty fast! How is we're almost at the end of the year?? And Christmas??) 

Pandemic diary/update: November was month #56 since the covid pandemic began in March 2020 (now in Year FIVE). :(   We (still!) remain covid-free (knocking wood, loudly...) -- although dh came down with a nasty cough/cold within the past few days (and brushes off my suggestion of testing...). We continue to mask in stores, malls and (most) other such indoor public spaces hereabouts, especially if/when there are lots of people around. (Well, I do -- I know dh has been slacking off, whenever I'm not around to hand him a mask...!) 

On top of the usual worries about seasonal colds, flu and covid, we now have to worry about H1N5 (avian/bird flu). Canada had its first confirmed case this month -- a teenager in British Columbia, who wound up in critical condition in the hospital. They're not sure about the source. 

Among other things we did this month, we
  • Went to Chapters (bookstore), Carters (children's wear), Reitmans (women's wear) and Shoppers Drug Mart on Nov. 4th. 
    • Back at Chapters and Shoppers on Nov. 13th. 
  • Went to the mall on Nov. 5th to walk & shop for a few hours (and escape the U.S. election news coverage, lol). (Regretfully bypassed the pizza place and had a healthier lunch when we got back home. Maybe in January we'll treat ourselves, if we get a good report on our cholesterol levels...!)  
    • Returned on Nov. 12th, 19th & 26th to do the same. (Each time we went, the mall got busier and busier... and we had to park further and further from the entrance!  lol -- the holiday madness has begun...!).  
  • Headed back to our old community on Nov. 8th:  took Christmas decorations to the cemetery for Katie, had lunch at Tim Hortons in the food court in the mall, then had haircuts and did a bit of walking & shopping. (We'll be back in mid-December for trims, before heading west for the holidays.) 
  • I attended a "baby sprinkle" on Nov. 9th for Older Nephew's wife -- i.e., a small shower to celebrate their second baby, due by scheduled C-section just before Christmas. There were about 20-25 women & children total -- including a half-dozen of her friends and a couple of her cousins  -- all in their early 30s, all either having babies (two other pregnant women there) or thinking about it.  
    • Needless to say, I mostly stayed away from them!  lol  I wound up spending a lot of time playing with Little Great-Nephew ("I'm a professional at Lego," he told me, as I helped him assemble his latest project, lol) and Little Great-Niece, and taking photos of them to show dh later.  We didn't play any dumb games (yay!), it was at Older Nephew's MIL's spacious house so there was plenty of room to walk around (and escape, if necessary! lol), and the food was really good (see "Eating," below). (I even managed to (mostly!) make good choices!  lol)  
    • Bonus: BIL drove me & SIL to the shower, and came to pick us up again later -- at the same time as Younger Nephew came to pick up his wife and Little Great-Niece. I suggested that they could drive me home, since they live quite close to us, and thus save BIL & SIL a longer trip home. LGNiece kept saying, "Aunt Lori! Aunt Lori coming! Aunt Lori here! Aunt Lori!"  all the way out to the car and then half the way home, lol.  MADE MY DAY.  :)  
  • A week later, on Nov. 16th, we headed up to Older Nephew's house with BIL & SIL to celebrate Little Great-Nephew's 5th (!!) birthday party. Younger Nephew, his wife & Little Great-Niece came too, and we all had such a good time together. :)  
  • We got a last-minute invitation to dinner (along with BIL & SIL) to dh's cousin's for dinner (the same cousins who have the cottage we've been to the last couple of years in the fall). Her parents were also there. Prime rib, potatos au gratin (I had a small helping), sauteed rapini, salad and tiramisu for dessert (small piece).  This cousin's wife loves to cook and entertain. Lucky us!  :)  

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 1 book in November (reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2024 books").  
This brings me to 32 books read so far in 2024, 71% of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books.  I am currently 9 (!) books behind schedule to meet my goal. :(   (Too many distractions this month, plus I'm (still) trying to catch up on my Hilary Mantel reading -- see below!) 

Current reads: 
  • "The Windsor Knot" by S.J. Bennett, the January pick for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club (previously read in 2021 and reviewed here).   
  • "Miss Buncle’s Book" by D.E. Stevenson, for my DES fan group. We began reading this together on Oct. 7th, and will finish in mid-December. I'll count this as a re-read then. (Original 2015 review here;  most recent review here.) 
  • "Living the Life Unexpected" by Jody Day.  I'm once again taking part in a chapter-by-chapter group read of this CNBC classic!  The most recent meeting covered Chapter 3.  This is the 5th (!) time I've read this book, or the earlier version of it ("Rocking the Life Unexpected").  (Most recent review, with links to earlier reviews, here.)  
  • "The Mirror and the Light" by Hilary Mantel (book #3 in the Thomas Cromwell Trilogy) -- part of a year-long "slow readalong" hosted by Simon at Footnotes & Tangents (which participants have dubbed "Wolf Crawl,"  lol) -- about 40 pages per week.  :)   
    • We started during the week of July 21st.  I chose to focus on some of my other books over the late summer/early fall, and as a result, was 9 weeks behind the posted reading schedule at one point (erk).  I've been doing a bit of catching up, and am currently about 8 weeks behind, at about 51% read. We will finish at the end of December. 
    • Simon will be repeating the Cromwell Trilogy slow readalong in 2025 for paying subscribers. I highly recommend the experience! (and am considering whether I'm up to another round of it myself...!). (Yes, I'm nuts...!)  Details here!  
  • "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy (!). As I wrote here, I needed another book club/readalong obligation like a hole in the head  ;)  but nevertheless, I'm taking part in a year-long readalong of this book, hosted by Simon at Footnotes & Tangents -- a chapter a day for a full year, which began Jan. 1, 2024. (And I'm really enjoying it!)  Currently at about 92% read.  
    • If you've ever thought about reading W&P, Simon will be repeating the readalong in 2025 for paying subscribers -- and I highly recommend the experience! (and yes, I'm probably doing it again!). Details here!  
  • "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 
Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  
  • My L.M. Montgomery Readathon Facebook group is reading assorted short stories by the author right now.  We'll begin a new book in January (to be announced soon). (I love LMM, and her books are usually fast, easy reads -- but I have to admit, it's nice to have a bit of a break to catch up on other reading!) 
  • For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club
    • "Others Like Me" by Nicole Louie. (Not a book club selection, but Katy Seppi has said she will be interviewing the author in January!) 
    • "Yellowface" by R.F. Kuang (February). 
  • For my D.E. Stevenson group:  This list of upcoming books should keep us busy through 2025 or even into early 2026!  (A couple of the books are ones we covered shortly after I first joined the group back in 2014 -- you know you've been around for a while when....!)  
A few recently purchased titles (mostly in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points):  

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Watching:  
  • "The Marlow Murder Club" on PBS, adapted in four parts from the Robert Thorogood novel, which I started reading before the first episode aired on Oct. 27th (and finished just after that). 
    • Nice as it was to see Rita Tushingham back onscreen after so many years (I remember watching her and Lynn Redgrave in "Smashing Time" when I was a kid), her character was not in the book, and she seemed to be there only to provide a few brief moments of comic relief, even though she received prominent billing in the credits.  It does bug me when TV does stuff like that!  
  • "Wolf Hall" on PBS, based on the books "Wolf Hall" and "Bring Up the Bodies" by Hilary Mantel, both of which I read earlier this year (click on links for my reviews).  The first of six episodes aired on Oct. 27th;  the last will air Dec. 1st (tonight!). I am hugely enjoying this.  Mark Rylance is wonderful in everything I 've ever seen him in (and this role, as Thomas Cromwell, is no exception), and Damian Lewis makes a great Henry VIII, both charming and menacing. It really brings the books to life! 
    • An adaptation of "The Mirror and the Light," the final book in the Cromwell Trilogy (which I'm reading right now -- see "Reading," above), with most of the same cast members, will begin airing in March 2025. Looking forward to it! 
  • Ken Burns's new two-part/four-hour documentary about Leonardo da Vinci, shown on PBS on Nov. 18th & 19th. 
  • Too much American/election-related news (CNN).  :p  :(    
  • The 111th Grey Cup, championship game of the Canadian Football League, featuring my beloved Winnipeg Blue Bombers, who went down to defeat versus the Toronto Argonauts, in Vancouver. (Kind of the Canadian version of the Super Bowl, but with slightly different rules, less glitz and a much longer history.)  
    • Missed the pre-show, which apparently featured an interview with Prince Harry (!), in town to promote his Invictus Games, which will also be held in Vancouver, in February.  (This article from People magazine says he was at "Toronto's Grey Cup"   -- it was actually in Vancouver.) 
Listening:  To the Eighties Stingray channel a little more lately. (Trying to boost my 80s Heardle scores!  lol)  Soon:  Christmas music!  :)  

Playing:  
  • Heardle DecadesStats as of Nov. 30th: 
    • Heardle 60s: 76.5% (595/778, 238 on first guess), down 0.1% from last month. Max. streak: 15.
    • Heardle 70s: 78.8% (406/5151, 227 on first guess), down 0.3% from last month. Max. streak: 18. 
    • Heardle 80s: 40.1% (156/389, 58 on first guess), down 0.8% from last month. Max. streak: 4. 
    • Heardle 90s: 27.9% (137/491, 27 on first guess), up 1.2% from last month. Max. streak: 5 (up from 4!). 
  • NYT Connections
    • At the end of October, I'd completed 95 games and won 78% of them, including 46 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors and a maximum winning streak of 15.  :)   
    • By Nov. 30th, I'd completed 125 games and won 79% of them, including 62 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors and a maximum winning streak of 15.  :)   
Following:  

Eating/Drinking:  
  • More beans and lentils, more fresh fruits & veggies, fewer convenience foods, fewer cookies, since getting our cholesterol readings...!  I'm not cutting out sweets entirely, but we've definitely cutting down/back!  and I'm down a little over 4 pounds so far.  :)  More bloodwork to come in January (and hopefully not another prescription)! 
  • That said...!  I can't say we've really been depriving ourselves either...!  
    • The food at the baby sprinkle/shower on Nov. 9th was really good, mostly catered from a local Italian restaurant.  Lots of charcuterie/appetizers (I just had some pita bread & hummus). There was chicken piccata (which I had) and beef (which I didn't), along with little roasted potatos, rapini and asparagus, green salad (had all of those), spring rolls and chicken fingers (for the kids, mostly). Huge sweet table for dessert. I had a small piece of the cake (strawberry filling), one cookie and some fruit.  
    • Older Nephew's wife is a great cook :)  and we had a nice birthday dinner for Little Great-Nephew on Nov. 16th:  orecchiette pasta with rapini, followed by baked boneless chicken thighs, potatos & (more) rapini (plus birthday cake, of course -- and yes, despite the diet, I did not turn down a piece!).  :)  
    • We had dinner at dh's cousin's house (the one with the cottage), along with BIL & SIL and the wife's parents on Nov. 23rd. It was a spur of the moment invitation (I had one hour to get ready to go!):  she had a large prime rib roast she wanted to use, and cooked it along with potatos au gratin (delicious!), sauteed rapini and a salad. SIL brought a tiramisu (from the supermarket) for dessert. I had a small helping of the potatos and tiramisu. (Sigh!) 
    • Takeout: The usual soup from the supermarket takeout counter, once a week or so; a pizza slice for dinner (ditto, Nov. 15th), a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket (Nov. 24th), which created some leftovers for another dinner and lunches! and a chicken teriyaki rice bowl  (also from the supermarket takeout counter, Nov. 30th). 
Buying (besides books, lol):  
  • Christmas and birthday presents, including things for dh, Little Great-Niece, Little Great-Nephew and his baby brother, who will be arriving soon...!   
  • A black peacoat from Old Navy (in-store). I didn't really NEED a new winter coat (and the sleeves were a bit long -- but that's the story of my life...), but I don't have anything that's even semi-dressy anymore, and it was 40% off an already-low price. I wound up paying about $47 for it!  I also bought a new black tuque to match. 
    • (It's a "tuque," NOT A "beanie!"  lol -- at least, it is here in Canada!  I always cringe whenever I hear anyone referring to it as that! -- although, sadly, I am hearing more & more Canadians use that term too. It just sounds WRONG to me!)  
  • A couple of pretty "textured lace" scoop-neck tops in different colours, also from Old Navy (online purchase, on sale). 
  • A pretty metal snowflake photo frame, and some Christmas-y placemats (two different patterns) for the table at Homesense. 
  • Skin care and cosmetics at 30-50% discounts from Clinique's website. (I don't wear a lot of makeup these days, but there's a family wedding coming up next year and a lot of my makeup -- even the stuff that survived last spring's purge -- is pretty old, so this was a great opportunity to restock a few of my favourites!) 
  • (And I HAVE been buying a lot of ebooks in Kobo's Black Friday sales these past few days, lol. Some of the titles listed above are ones I bought then!) 
Wearing: 
  • Fall/winter jackets (sigh...) 
  • Eased into my sizeable collection of seasonal/winter/Christmas-themed PJ tops from Old Navy by the end of the month!  :)    
Enjoying:  The lull in online activity/emails these last few days ( = fewer distractions!), as Americans celebrate their Thanksgiving!  

Appreciating:  Retirement!!  Never more so than this month, as HALF A MILLION Swifties (and their chaperones) descended on downtown Toronto to attend one of six Taylor Swift concerts at the Rogers Centre/SkyDome between Nov. 14th and 23rd.  I don't get downtown much these days, but I've been there (when I was working) when other big events have been happening -- and the congestion (on the roads, on transit and in the downtown area generally) has been absolutely and increasingly brutal since I retired (endless construction and roadwork). No thank you! (But I'm glad everyone who was able to get tickets had a good time!)    

(Still) Trying: (as noted in "Eating," above)  To make better food choices and be a little more active = lose some weight and lower that cholesterol!  (I'm already taking prescriptions for high blood pressure and a sluggish thyroid -- I do NOT want to add another one!)  

Noticing:  Down 4+ pounds on the scale (so far!) since our visit to the family doctor on Oct. 23rd (4+ weeks ago), where our cholesterol levels were flagged. I need to lose a whole lot more, but hey, it's a start...!    

Hoping:  To lose a few more pounds before we head west to my parents for two weeks over Christmas/New Year....! (Especially since I'll probably gain a few back while we're there...!) 

Remembering:  The small mall that opened in the town where we were living in late 1978/early 1979, when I was in Grade 12/senior year of high school -- which recently announced it will be closing its doors at the end of December. (I heard this from my cousin's wife, who grew up in another town nearby. I asked about it on my high school class's Facebook group, and a classmate there directed me to a news story online.)  
  • I got a part-time job there before it even opened, at the Woolco store, which was one of the two anchor stores at one end of the mall -- a Safeway supermarket was at the other -- stocking shelves, pre-opening, and then working in the hardware department (!! -- lololol...).  I continued to work there over the summer of 1979 and as seasonal staff during December that year (home from university early and feeling at loose ends), and also had another part-time job at a clothing store in the mall (Mariposa) the next summer (1980). My sister also worked there, at a photo studio/camera shop, and at two different restaurants there.  The end of an era... 
Prioritizing: Christmas shopping!  Rounding up stocking stuffers in particular.  Still trying to figure out what to get for a few people... 

Wanting: To get the Christmas tree up soon!  I was hoping to do it this weekend, but dh is miserable with a cold right now, so I decided to drop the subject for a few days until he's feeling better...!  (I can do most of it myself, but I need his help with a few things, particularly getting the boxes of decorations from the storage locker in the parking garage and bringing them upstairs.)  

Anticipating: The arrival of Little Great-Nephew #2, in mid-December!  

Wondering:  Whether we'll be able to see him before we leave for the holidays? 

Also:  When the Canada Post strike will end, and whether I'm going to get Christmas cards sent this year?? I haven't bought any yet, because it seemed kind of pointless until I knew whether I was going to be able to send them out. I don't think I have ever NOT sent Christmas cards out, since I started doing them for myself as a teenager/young adult.  

Loving:  Seeing more and more Christmas lights and decorations as we drive through the nearby neighbourhoods at night.  Gets me in a festive mood!    

Feeling: A little nervous about Older Nephew's Wife and the impending arrival of Little Great-Nephew #2 (as I always am whenever someone I love is expecting).  Glad November is over. (It's not as bad as it once was, but it's still not my favourite month...!)  Looking forward to (more) Christmas-y things in December, and spending time with my family!  

Monday, October 28, 2024

#MicroblogMondays: Personal odds & ends

  • We took a drive up to Older Nephew's on Sunday with BIL & SIL for a few hours. There are still some lovely colours on the trees... but we had some strong winds late last week, and more and more trees now have bare branches. :(   November is coming... sigh... 
  • Dh & I both had our annual checkups with our family doctor this past week. We both had bloodwork done in advance, and received the results before we saw the doctor -- so we knew a lecture was coming (erk!).  He was very nice about it (we love our doctor!) -- but he made it clear we both need to lower our cholesterol levels and lose some weight -- i.e., make better food choices, exercise more -- and indulge a little less during the Christmas holidays -- or else yet another prescription will be in each of our futures :(  -- something we would obviously like to avoid. (Both of us had higher cholesterol readings vs last year, but dh's was up significantly -- my HDL/LDL ratio was actually better than his!) We'll repeat the bloodwork in January to see if there's been any improvement.   
    • Since then, dh has been going through our refrigerator & cupboards with the zeal of a new convert, lol. I've been trying to tell him for a while now that we need to be buying and eating more fruits & veggies. He's been doing most of the grocery shopping since the pandemic started (and he kind of likes doing it without me tagging along and slowing him down, lol).  I think he'll be making some different choices now...! 
    • BIL introduced him to an app called Yuka. You scan the barcode on a food label and it will rate it -- which products are good for you and which ones you should avoid (on a scale from "bad" to "excellent"). (Sometimes that's fairly obvious, of course -- but there are some surprises, too!)  Apparently it also does cosmetics & skin care products too. (Haven't tried that yet!)  Dh has been having no end of fun scanning everything in the cupboards, refrigerator and on the supermarket shelves since then, lol.  
    • Want to bet dh will drop 10 pounds in the time it takes me to drop 2?  :p  (Isn't that always the way with guys and weight?) 
    • So far, we haven't done much in the way of intentional exercise, but we're going to try to remedy that soon with some walking, on days when the weather is decent.  We've been a little more active/out & about this past week than we have been. It all helps. 
    • On the bright side, my other bloodwork results were pretty good, and my blood pressure was excellent, especially for me: 120/82.  :)   
  • (Speaking of blood pressure...) Older Nephew's wife gave us all a bit of a scare this past week. :(  She's pregnant (with another great-nephew!) and due in mid/late December; she'll be having another C-section just before Christmas. At her most recent ob-gyn visit, though, her blood pressure was abnormally high, and her ob-gyn sent her straight to the hospital to get checked out.  Fortunately, all was well;  mom & baby are fine. The doctor offered to support her in leaving work early to reduce her stress levels, and we're all glad she took the doctor up on that. She's now off work, on unemployment/disability insurance until the baby is born and her maternity leave benefits kick in.  
  • I can't WAIT until the U.S. election is over (while dreading it at the same time). It is SO close (HOW??!!) -- the tension just keeps on building, and it's exhausting.  (And I'm Canadian!! -- it's not even "MY" election! -- although it most certainly affects us too.)  
  • I'm seeing lots of posts from U.S. friends mentioning how they are "doing their postcards" -- writing and sending postcards to encourage total strangers to vote in the upcoming election. It's not the first time I've heard people mentioning writing postcards during election season either. I have no idea when or how it started (and I'd love to know if it's actually effective!) -- but it must be an American thing, because I have never heard of it being done in Canada (or elsewhere), and I have certainly never received such a postcard myself. (Lots of flyers and other promotional material from candidates and political parties, yes. Postcards from total strangers, no.) 
  • I saw my FIRST Christmas commercial this past week -- on Oct. 24th!  (From Old Navy -- I also saw one from Wayfair.)  TWO MONTHS out from Christmas Eve!!  Good grief!! -- It's not even Halloween yet, people!! 
    • I know some people object to Christmas ads, decorations, etc., until after Remembrance Day (Nov. 11th). I think that's respectful -- but I recognize that ship has long since sailed...!  But waiting until after Halloween is over? I don't think it's too much to ask...!) 
  • I finally booked our flights west for Christmas. Ridiculously expensive (travel within Canada always is, at the best of times), but what can you do?  I should have done it earlier, of course, plus we'll be heading there a little later in December (and staying a little longer into early January) than we have in recent years. Obviously, the closer to Christmas, the more expensive it gets. Also, we tend to travel on weekends, which makes it easier for my sister & her partner to transport us from & to the airport, neither of us particularly likes taking red eye-flights, which tend to be cheaper, etc. etc.  Oh well. 
    • Does anyone else find booking travel as stressful as I do?? Actually travelling, not especially -- and dh's particular stress point is waiting to board, especially when we're travelling with carry-ons only (will there be enough room left in the overhead bins by the time we get in there??) -- but I get very tense while booking flights. Am I choosing the best flight? departure time?? seats???  etc.  Am I keying things in correctly?  Am I making a horrible error that will be difficult and/or costly to correct??
    • Plus, honestly, EVERY TIME I book a flight or check in online on Air Canada, they've changed something about the process.  The options are presented differently, the screens look different. This time around, I got one email to print off. No online summary that I could print, no PDF to save (which I always like to do). Sigh.  
    • Let the holiday shopping begin!!  lol  
No links this time around... more soon! 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

Friday, March 15, 2024

Lots of odds & ends!

  • The nightly CBC television newscast, "The National," had a lengthy feature report on Feb. 27th about IVF in Canada and the barriers some people face in getting treatment (financial, geographic, etc.). It focused on one woman, currently on her 7th cycle, who has already spent more than $100,000 (Canadian) and regularly drives four hours (one way) from Sudbury to a clinic in Markham, outside of Toronto (and then another four hours back home again). (I remember chatting with a woman from Sudbury in the waiting room at my own RE's office when I was going through fertility treatments, 20+ years ago!)  
    • I don't know if the video is available to view outside of Canada, but here's the link
  • The province of British Columbia recently announced it will join several other Canadian provinces by funding one cycle of IVF, beginning in April 2025. The Globe & Mail featured a B.C. couple who estimate they spent $80,000 on 16 cycles of IUI and IVF, four of which ended in miscarriage, before their son was finally born in 2018. (Gift link.) Quote: 
Ms. Santos called B.C.’s announcement “incredible news,” and said it would have made a world of difference to her family had their first IVF cycle been covered.

“If we had had funding, that would have taken so much stress off at a time when everyone says all you should focus on is not stressing,” she said. Her husband could have come home [from working a higher-paying job in northern Alberta], she added. “We would have had more opportunity to work on our mental health, to not feel so guilty to take a day off if we needed it. It would have been invaluable to have that peace of mind.”
According to some delightful people out there, women who can’t conceive need to just accept that it’s “God’s will” they remain child-free.

In their words, IVF isn’t natural, so we shouldn’t be doing it.

OK Steve, let’s see how well you fare without medical intervention the next time you need an operation. No anesthetic or scrubbed-up surgeon for you, my friend....

We’re happy to accept modern comforts, science and medicine in almost every other part of our lives. No one thinks it’s weird to live with electricity or a car or to receive anesthesia during a vasectomy.

Which leads to just one conclusion.

The rhetoric about “natural” childbirth and conception isn’t pro-nature.

It’s anti-women.

I found this bit somewhat shocking (and depressing): 

...whilst the perception of IVF has improved in recent years, there are still devastating stats about what some people think of IVF babies.

A recent study revealed that 41% of people think IVF babies are “normal but not natural.”

Twenty-two percent do not think IVF babies are legitimate.

And even more shocking, 13.5% of respondents do not think IVF babies should be welcomed by society.

The Vatican (which represents 1.3 billion Catholics across the world) doesn’t accept assisted reproduction, and now — whether this was their intention or not — neither does the state of Alabama.

And there's this: 

I don’t need people to tell me I’m an infertile failure

I already think that myself.

And it’s not just online trolls or Republican politicians that make me — and women like me — feel like this.

It’s society as a whole.

Not only do we live in a pronatalist world, we live in a pronatalist world where we are expected to a) quickly get pregnant, b) love pregnancy and c) have a natural birth.

And as someone struggling with fertility, I’m told I’m not natural. Because if you’re natural, you’re fertile, right?

This messaging comes from everywhere.... 

One comment read: "'Have more babies.'  'No not like that.' "  Touchez!   

Sisson’s analysis gently coaxes the scales from our eyes. If adoption is a heartwarming practice, why are birth mothers wracked with feelings of grief and betrayal that do not abate over time? If every aspiring parent deserves a baby to love, who are we willing to exploit to meet that demand?

...This book may be a tough read, especially for current or aspiring adoptive parents. It feels much better to rescue an unwanted baby than to take one from a mother who would parent if she could only afford a car seat. But, as Sisson writes, if adoption is intended to meet the needs of children and not the “dreams of would-be parents,” then adoptive parents’ feelings can’t drive the future of adoption. 

  • Also on the topic of adoption: a great article (with a first-person perspective) from the Atlantic:  "No One's Children: America’s long history of secret adoption."  (Gift link, accessible for 14 days.)  
  • Related:  a fabulous, must-read post from Mali at No Kidding in NZ:  "No Kidding Voices Count" -- when it comes to adoption, as well as other aspects of the adoption/loss/infertility experience. Excerpt (and key message): 
Why should we feel that our comments on a process that did not work for us should be disparaged as “bitter” or “sour grapes” compared to those who are considered the “success” stories? Answer = we shouldn’t. Our views are just as valid, and perhaps more so, because we are evidence that the processes are not infallible, that they don’t work for everyone, and in many cases, they don’t work for the majority. Everyone needs to understand why that is. Our voices count, and should be heard. 
  • Mali's post didn't specifically mention the recent court ruling in Alabama that has virtually shut down IVF treatments in that state, but I was thinking about Alabama when she said: 
It’s not a contradiction to both be pleased that there are paths to parenthood for the infertile, and to want to ensure these paths take care of those prospective parents during and after this process, as well as act in the best interests of the children who may emerge from this. That’s not sour grapes. It is in fact much more holistic. 
  • Also re: the Alabama ruling:  Pamela's Silent Sorority blog/website is currently under renovation, but she's still advocating for fertility industry reform and patient rights, including recent opinion pieces in the Boston Globe and Newsweek specifically related to the events in Alabama. 
  • Jess recently posted about how the Alabama case has resulted in increased interest in/media coverage of IVF. Unfortunately, the coverage demonstrates that people (still!!) aren't using the correct terminology when discussing the process. (No wonder there are so many misconceptions....!) 
    • Mel highlighted Jess's post on today's Friday Blog Roundup, pointing out that she wrote the New York Times about "implant" vs "transfer" ....back in 2009!  The NYT responded that they understood, BUT "we made the conscious decision to use the word implant. The average reader doesn’t understand what a ‘transfer’ is.”  "...[So] frustrating that I was writing the NYT in 2009 about this, and it’s now 2024, and nothing has changed,"  she says.  :(   Grrrrrrr indeed. 
  • In her Substack "The Antidote," Helen Davenport-Peace ponders "The anatomy of an announcement:  Pregnancies that aren't ours, but theirs."  
  • Henri Copeland eloquently reflects on the very different reactions she and her family are getting after the loss of her father, versus the lack of support she's had for her grief as a childless woman.  
  • At "In Pursuit of Clean Countertops," Sara Petersen spoke with Lyz Lenz of "Men Yell At Me" about her new book (about divorce), "This American Ex-Wife."  Unfortunately, it's behind a subscriber paywall, but I wanted to share a couple of particularly brilliant passages that I thought had some application to women without children (even though both Lyz & Sara are mothers)(boldfaced emphasis the author's):  
...even if you're not going to get divorced, we have to stop thinking of parenting as this all-encompassing thing because children will leave you one day! You being okay can’t be predicated on them being okay. At some point, they won’t be okay. And you have to find a way to be a person in the midst of all of that....

...if our senses of selves and wellbeing is no longer dependent on relationships like motherhood and wifehood (because life is long and complicated and full of tragedy, we could live happier lives. 

  • There was some great commentary on the recent State of the Union address in the U.S. -- and, in particular, on the Republican response provided by Senator Katie Britt. Lyz Lenz dubbed her "Dingus of the Week,"  lol. I also liked Monica Hesse's take in the Washington Post -- although I do wish she had taken her rhetoric one step further and made the leap from "moms aren't a monolith" to "not all women are moms" -- sigh....
    • I particularly wanted to note Jill Filipovic's take on her Substack, titled "The Two Americas of the State of Union."   Unfortunately, I think it's behind a subscriber paywall... fortunately, I am a subscriber ;)  and I can share this especially relevant excerpt with you:  

The word “mom,” by the way, shows up in Britt’s speech more times than the word “women.” This is despite the fact that more than half of American women do not have children, and roughly one in six reach the end of their childbearing years without having them. Many women who are mothers also do not see motherhood as their sole defining characteristic. “Woman” and “mother” are not identical categories. And yet the Republican Party talks to us as if they are — or as if they should be...

 

The message from Britt and the GOP was clear: All women are or should be mothers; women and mothers should be fearful of the big scary world around them; and they should probably stay in the kitchen.

Monday, February 27, 2023

#MicroblogMondays: Waiting...

Younger Nephew's wife is now one week past her due date -- which of course makes me VERY nervous.  :(  They went to the hospital this morning at 8 a.m. to be induced.   

Little Great-Nephew (Older Nephew's son) is at BIL & SIL's house today -- and we are on standby as babysitters. If LGN is still there when they get the call that the baby is here,  dh & I will be high-tailing it over to their house to stay with LGN until his dad (Older Nephew) picks him up after work later this afternoon, so that BIL & SIL can go straight to the hospital ASAP to meet their new grandchild. We likely won't get to meet him/her until tomorrow at the earliest (assuming he/she is born today). (It's probably just as well -- both dh & I have slight colds... grrrr... took a rapid test this morning, and it was negative, but still...!) 

Dh said BIL sounded like he expected the baby to be here by 8:15 this morning. (Major LOL.)  (It's now 10 a.m. as I type -- no news yet.)  He should know better;  Older Nephew arrived after an induction, and I think LGN did too? --  and it took hours. In Older Nephew's wife's case, it took all day -- and both pregnancies ended with C-sections -- hopefully that won't happen today...!  BIL is already incensed because he wanted to be RIGHT THERE in the waiting room when the baby is born, but they told him he's not allowed. They were able to be there when LGN was born, but I imagine protocols have changed since covid, etc.  

Please keep our family in your thoughts today. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here

*** *** *** 

Update, Monday night:  We have a new GREAT-NIECE!!  More to come, possibly tomorrow.  :)  

Tuesday, February 14, 2023

Odds & ends (& whines, lol)

  • "This Valentine's Day, show some love to the one who’s always there." Katie at My Sweet Dumb Brain makes the excellent point that "The only constant in your life is you." 
  • Here we go again? Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band just announced some Canadian dates this fall, including two nights here in Toronto in November. (He's also going to be in Winnipeg, for the first time ever! -- 40+ years after dh first romanced me with his music in his dorm room, lol)(on a cassette played on a boombox, lol).  I signed up for verified fan status with Ticketmaster -- which entitles me to the CHANCE to buy tickets when they go on sale (I'll find out next week if I'm going to be allowed to try...!).  
    • I'm of two minds:  
      • On the one hand:  Bruce isn't getting any younger (and neither are we...!). He's 73.  Who knows how many more chances we'll get to see him again?  He & his music played a key role in our early relationship :)  (as I've written on this blog several times before), and we've seen him together twice in the past in Toronto, in 1985 and 1992 (without the E Street Band) -- dh saw him a couple of times before he met me, and we tried but failed to get tickets for other times he's played in Toronto. (I also tried -- and failed -- to get tickets to see his "Springsteen on Broadway" show in New York City a few years back. A great excuse for a trip to NYC, right? Oh well...!)  He always puts on a GREAT show. 
      • On the other hand: I'm mindful of the Elton John tickets saga, and how well THAT turned out...! (and how will SIL feel if we buy tickets to Bruce, after she & I decided to cash in our Elton tickets after repeated postponements and cancellations amid pandemic uncertainty?). I'm also very mindful that (contrary to what some might think), covid is still very much alive and well -- and the prospect of sitting in a crowded arena with 20,000+ other, mostly maskless, singing & cheering people, is not as appealing as it might have been three years ago, to me or to dh...!  (In fact, I recently read that several members of the E Street Band are currently out with covid themselves!) There's also been a sharp increase in crimes on the transit system, which is how we'd normally head downtown. Parking there is both hard to find and astronomically expensive, especially when there's a big event on. 
      • (This is assuming we're able to get tickets in the first place... and even if we're able, are we willing to pay the exorbitant prices that will likely be charged?)(Pricing hasn't been announced yet, but as the Toronto Star pointed out, it's likely a far cry from the $10 dh paid to see him in 1978...!)  
    • (Why does life have to be so complicated?) 
  • A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how developers are proposing to build a 12-storey condo building right next door to ours (and directly across the street from another, larger 10-storey condo building) -- replacing three houses on/adjacent to the corner of a main road and a residential street, and facing and exiting onto the residential street.  
    • Last week, I tuned in online to a recent meeting of our city council where members of the public had their say about the proposed application. There were 45 written submissions (available to read on the city's website) and about 10 local residents speaking at the meeting or via Zoom.  It was fascinating and quite an eye-opener in some respects to watch the process unfold and listen to what they all had to say. It's quite obvious to anyone who sees the site that it's a completely inappropriate place to put up a 12-storey building, but it was informative and validating to hear all the arguments presented in such an articulate way. (I won't list them all here but let's just say the proposed design violates existing zoning laws in more ways than one, not to mention urban planning principles and simple common sense.)  
    • Whether that was enough to stop the project -- or at least scale it back to a more reasonable size -- remains to be seen. To their credit, the councillors were unanimous in their opposition -- but they also pointed out that the appeals process is stacked solidly in favour of the developers, enabled by a pro-development provincial government and premier. Sigh. 
  • The BBC had what I thought was a surprisingly thoughtful article about the growing number of people choosing not to have children. They point out the difference between childFREE and childLESS, discuss the many reasons why people might not have children, the fact that people tend to lump childless and childfree people together -- AND they talk about how the choice to live without children is still not well understood and accepted  -- a point that I don't think gets enough attention outside the childless/free community. Worth a read!  
    • The article uses the term "backlash," which I don't think I've ever heard in a discussion related to childless/free living before.  I read Susan Faludi's classic book on the subject when it first came out in the early 1990s -- and I see there's a new edition available (from 2006).  Time for a re-read, perhaps...!  
  • "Freeze now, sell later":  Alison Motluk , who writes the Substack newsletter Hey ReproTech, speculates that some women who freeze their eggs but never use them might eventually try to sell them as a way to recoup their significant financial outlay.  
  • Yael Wolfe in Medium:  "This Gen Xer Doesn’t Understand TikTok."  
    • This late Boomer/early GenXer doesn't either, lol, and Yael perfectly voices my gripes with trying to keep up with technology (and some of the reasons why I've never sought to expand the "reach" of this blog onto social media and become an "influencer"). (Trust me, some day it will happen to you -- if not with TikTok then some other newfangled app that you don't "get" and have no interest in learning how to use...!) 
  • In a similar vein, Anne Helen Petersen recently announced that she is winding down the Discord community she created as an extension of her Culture Study Substack newsletter. Like many online community leaders, she found it was taking up a lot more time and energy than she bargained for.  
    • I've been on message boards since 1998, and on the CS Discord for the better part of a year, although I rarely visited there. There were a lot of similarities to old-style message boards -- and yet, I just couldn't figure out how it was organized or how to follow threads, etc.  I guess I really am getting old...??  :p  
  • I debated over whether to watch "Not Dead Yet," the TV version of Alexandra Potter's delightful novel "Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k-Up," which I read, loved and reviewed here. Then I forgot all about it. Oh well. 
    • I may still watch (I found I can catch up online) -- but from what I've read, I didn't miss out on much. "Struggles to Show Signs of Life," says the Hollywood Reporter. Ominously, the Reporter also says the show is "adapted by David Windsor and Casey Johnson in almost no recognizable way from Alexandra Potter’s novel." ("A loose adaptation," says Slant.)  
    • The only real similarities between the book and the TV show seem to be a lead character named Nell who returns home from abroad after her relationship implodes and lands a job writing obituaries.  But in the Hollywood version, the setting has changed from England to California (not surprising, but very disappointing), and... the dead people Nell writes about... talk to her.  A cutesy twist that's definitely not in the book. Sigh. 
    • Have you watched it? (If you have, have you read the book first?)  What did you think? 
  • I have virtually zero interest in American college or NFL football or the Super Bowl -- but I did watch the halftime show on Sunday... and noticed that Rihanna seemed to be sporting a bit of a tummy. I knew she'd had a baby recently and figured maybe it was leftover pregnancy weight? 
    • But then dh told me "Rihanna pregnant" was trending on Twitter, so I Googled and found out she'd had her son back in May 2022.. so...!. (You can see how closely I follow celebrity gossip these days, lol.)  Her management confirmed the pregnancy before the show was over. 
    • The childless forums and accounts I follow were full of eyerolls and angst the next morning. CNBCers in the UK reported that Rihanna's pregnancy was the headline news, with who won the Super Bowl coming a distant second/afterthought. 
    • Personally, while I did some eye-rolling myself, I found this far less triggering/enraging than Beyonce's ultra-smug reveal of her first pregnancy at the VMAs some years back (ripping off camouflaging clothing and then caressing her belly with a self-satisfied smile, to make sure we got the message)... followed by her photo shoot and then "fertility goddess" routine at the Grammys while heavily pregnant with twins a few years later (which I wrote about here). Oy. 
    • (Does anyone actually sing LIVE at these events anymore? It was obvious several times that Rihanna wasn't even trying to lip sync...)