Odds & ends (including a World Childless Week webinar!)

I've been struggling a bit lately, with writing more regularly in this blog -- and with other parts of my life too. It feels like there are a gazillion things demanding my attention, and all I want to do is bury my nose in a book (Kobo reader?) or my phone and scroll mindlessly. I bounce from one thing to another and accomplish nothing, and fret over the dumbest little things. Frankly, I think I might be a little depressed -- and I guess it's not surprising, given the events and stresses and losses around me this past year(s/) -- both personal and in the broader world. 

Writing IS (always has been) a comfort and an outlet, though, and I have been collecting more odds & ends to share with you here (albeit there are a lot I meant to flag that have slipped through my fingers). Here are a few things I've been noticing and thinking about lately:   

• Latest annoying/anxiety-inducing thing:  Our GE Profile dishwasher (original to the condo, so likely about 12 years old) is leaking water from the bottom. :(  We've stopped using it (washing dishes by hand), and even turned off the valve to shut off the water to it, but it's still getting wet under there. 
• I've been sliding rags or sheets of paper towel underneath to catch and mop up the drips, and swapping them out for dry ones every few hours. 
• Beyond the leak, the springs on both sides of the door have snapped in recent years -- meaning we can't just open the door and let it drop (because it DROPS!) -- we have to either hold it or balance it against a hip and load/unload the dishes that way -- or lower the door very gently, and then rehook the hinges up to close it back up properly again. 
• Given these issues (and the likelihood of more to come), and given that 12 years seems to be ancient in appliance terms these days (yikes), we recently went dishwasher shopping. What to pick, from a dizzying array of choices?? (Did I mention I've been having some anxiety issues lately??)  
• We eventually selected a KitchenAid model. It's being delivered next Monday. 
• (I had to notify the property manager of the impending delivery -- and cough up a $500 (Canadian) security deposit in case of damages to the elevator or hallways during delivery/removal of the old machine. It will be returned, assuming all goes well. Sigh...) 
• Huge congratulations to Mali at No Kidding in NZ, who has been named People's Champion for World Childless Week 2026!!  She wrote about it here, and you can read her WCW profile here  So well deserved!!  
• Speaking of World Childless Week, it's next week!  I'll be writing more about it in the days ahead, but I especially wanted to give you a heads-up that I'll be appearing in a Zoom webinar/panel discussion on Thursday, Sept. 17th at 9 AM (Eastern time), along with three of my friends from the Childless Collective:  "All in the Family: Childless women, Caregiving/Caring and Family of Origin Dynamics." 
• Y'all know, I live some 1000 miles away from my family of origin -- and my (younger) sister has been the main point person as our parents have aged (and, in mom's case, passed away in January). But Sandy, the webinar organizer, thought it would be interesting to have my perspective on caregiving and contributing from a distance, so...! 
• You can watch live on Zoom, and the video will be posted on the WCW 2026 website and YouTube channel later that day for later viewing. More details and a sign-up link here.  
• We lost three childless/free icons in short order recently:  first Dolly Parton, then Tim Curry, followed by Gloria Steinem. (Did I mention I've been a bit depressed lately?? -- this didn't help...!) There's been some great writing on various childless/free blogs, etc., about these three and what they meant to us. 
• Gloria Steinem in particular was a familiar presence when I was growing up in the 1970s. Going through my old school essays when we were cleaning out my parents' house last spring, I was amused to find a declaration in one along the lines of "I'm not a big women's libber" -- ah, youth!!  Even if I was reluctant to embrace the F-label as a teenager (lol), there's absolutely no doubt what a huge impact Steinem and the women's movement had on my life, and that I have evolved considerably since then.  ;)  
• I was fortunate enough to briefly encounter Gloria Steinem twice in my life:  
• In 1994, I stood in line at a bookstore in the underground city that runs below Toronto's Financial District during my lunch hour to get her to sign a copy of her latest book, "Moving Beyond Words" (which I still have).  
• Several years after that, she was speaking at a convention of the Ontario Human Resources Professionals Association. Someone had given one of my coworkers tickets;  she was working, but my mom was visiting me and I was off that week, so she gave them to me and Mom & I went to the Toronto Convention Centre to hear Gloria speak.  We also caught a glimpse of her walking through the halls outside the meeting rooms. She was in her 60s then and wearing a miniskirt -- and she looked fabulous in it.  :)   Rest in power, Gloria. And thank you. 
• I was sad to read in the Toronto Star that Gilda's Club recently closed its doors here. 
• I was reminded of a post I wrote wayyyyyy back in 2012 (!) about Gilda Radner (who was childless not by choice) & Gilda's Club. (I also mentioned Gilda in this post from last year, about the Saturday Night Live 50th anniversary celebrations.) 
• Sidenote:  The O'Keefe Centre/Hummingbird Centre/Sony Centre I refer to in that 2012 post has been Meridian Hall since 2019.  Sigh... 
• (The SkyDome is still the Rogers Centre -- but there's now also the Rogers Stadium, which -- as many unsuspecting event ticketholders have discovered, to their dismay! -- is about 20 miles away from the Rogers Centre, in a completely different part of the city...!) 
• New York Times gift link:  "When the Choice to Be Childless Is Not Your Own" by Anna Louise Sussman, author of the upcoming book “Inconceivable:The Impossibility of Family in an Age of Uncertainty.” The article is U.S.-specific, but some of the questions it raises would apply in many other countries. 
• Sample quote:  "...what if we thought of starting a family as a fundamental human experience that should be available to all? What if we extended the ability to have a family — one that many possess as a matter of good fortune — into a basic human right?"
• (Not sure I have the "right" to have a family -- no one can guarantee that -- but I believe it should be a lot easier to TRY to have one, if that's what I want...)
• You've probably heard of "manspreading" -- entitled and oblivious men, spreading out and taking up valuable public space (particularly on public transit). How about "mumspreading"?  Emma Harris thoughtfully explains (on her own website, and on the Life Without Children Substack -- well worth a read!):   

Mumspreading, as I use it, describes something analogous: the ways in which some mums can take up physical, conversational, emotional space without much awareness of the impact on those around them.

This is, ultimately, a post about the invisible grief of childlessness, and what it means to take up space in a world not designed with you in mind.

Annoying things & small pleasures

Annoying things:  

• For the first time ever, I lost my cellphone last month (July). Thankfully, it was only a temporary thing:  I left it sitting on the table at the restaurant where we were having dinner on our wedding anniversary. (eyeroll)  I normally don't look at my phone much when we're out for dinner (and of course we haven't done that as much since the pandemic) -- but the service was a little slow (and dh was looking at his), so.... 
• When we got home, I realized it wasn't in my purse or in any of the other usual places I set it. Tried calling it with dh's phone -- nothing. (Uh oh...)  Dh went down to the parking garage;  it wasn't in the car, so he hopped in and went back to the restaurant while I called ahead. Thankfully, the waitress who served us had already found it and left it at the front desk. Whew! 
• (Another reason why you should leave your phone in your purse/pocket when you're in a restaurant...!)  
• I'm sure I've written before about the McMichael Centre for Canadian Art, a true national treasure in a small town near where I now live. I took out a membership not long after we moved here, and we've really enjoyed visiting there a couple of times a year to tour the exhibits, hear some of the interesting lectures and stroll around the beautiful grounds. I've also brought guests with me occasionally. (My membership is a "plus one," i.e., it covers admission for two people, and also includes a handful of time-limited guest passes.) 
• The last time we were there was earlier this year, and I'd been saying to dh that we should go again soon (and certainly in the fall, when the colours are at their peak!). 
• I'd heard the gallery was planning to expand -- but it came as a bit of a shock when they  announced on July 16th that it was (temporarily) closing... for THREE YEARS (until sometime in 2029).  (That's assuming all goes well, of course...!) 
• Not only that, the closing date was July 26th -- just 10 days after the announcement (!) -- and a few days before we were scheduled to leave for Manitoba for a few weeks -- meaning we wouldn't have time to squeeze in a last visit before closure.  (I wasn't the only person who questioned this schedule...!)  
• Meanwhile, my membership has been paused. 
• A lot of very hot, humid days, both here and at Dad's (although this past week has not been as bad). The humidex reading one day at Dad's was 47C ( = 117F).  Yuck.  Thank goodness his apartment has an air conditioner (albeit it's very noisy, and he kept turning it off because he would get cold...!).  
• The plug-in carbon monoxide detector we bought & installed when we moved into our condo 10 years ago reached the end of its life and started giving off warning chirps... at 5 AM (why do these things ALWAYS go off in the middle of the night??!), the morning after an exhausting day of travelling home from visiting my dad (!). 
• It's been four years (!) this summer since I had both eye surgery and gallbladder removal, three weeks apart (!)... and a selfie I took and posted on social media, of me prepped and waiting to get rid of pesky gallbladder, recently surfaced in my Facebook memories. I reposted it with a caption saying, "No regrets, hardly any digestive issues since! (And a much easier recovery than the eye surgery I had three weeks earlier...!)"  Would you believe I had THREE people offering me thoughts & prayers for a speedy recovery??!  I mean, it was lovely of them (they were mostly older friends of my parents, perhaps not entirely social media-savvy), but... does anyone actually read captions anymore?
• On a recent discussion thread I was on, the host asked for ideas for future discussion thread topics... and someone suggested a thread of birth stories (!), saying it made her sad to think she only had so many people to tell her story to, and it would make everyone [ed. note: "everyone??"]  feel supported and also prepared, because "no one talks about it!"  
• Do she & I live on the same planet?? 
• I was tempted leave a comment reminding her (and everyone else reading) that not all of us who wanted a baby get to give birth, and some of us have birth stories you really do not want to hear (and yeah, some of us really don't want to hear yours either...!) -- but I bit my cybertongue and scrolled on. (And came here to vent, lol.)  

Small pleasures:  

• Sleeping in my own bed again!!  
• (On that note:)  The new sheets I got just before we left. My sister had recommended them to me a while back, and while I've been reluctant to order from Amazon or buy American lately if I can help it (for obvious reasons...), dh shredded our bottom sheet with his toenail (don't ask...), and my former go-to places to buy bedding (The Bay, Sears, Bed Bath & Beyond...) have all gone the way of the dodo bird in recent years, so...  They are lovely, crisp 100% cotton damask sateen, 500 thread count, deep pockets on the fitted sheet, and reasonably priced.  I'm going to order a second set to keep in reserve!  
• Spending time with the the great-nephews after three weeks away (almost half the summer...!).
• I was pretty busy while we were at Dad's, and I had my share of screen time while I was there (more so on the phone than my laptop) -- but I did have time to finish five (!) books while we were there (albeit a couple of them were pretty short).  :)    

Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

June finally started feeling like summer!  We had a few hot/humid spells, especially earlier in the month, and at the very end, and a few days with some strong winds, but for the most part, it's been just pleasantly warm.  

Some of the things I/we did this month include: 

• Grocery shopping expeditions to the supermarket (June 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd & 29th). 
• Rode the subway downtown (something we don't do too often these days!) to the Art Gallery of Ontario to see the Paul McCartney photography exhibit ("Eyes of the Storm"), which was closing on June 7th. Well worth the trip! I think I had a smile on my face the entire time we were there.  :)  
• Spent a few hours with SIL & LGNephew #2 (June 3rd, 10th & 24th) -- as we did in the past with LGNephew #1 and LGNiece. His mom's mat leave ended and she returned to work on June 1st.  
• He was joined by his big brother (LGNephew #1) when we went there on June 29th. (LGNephew #1 will be there for the rest of the summer, now that school is out until September!) and we enjoyed seeing them both and taking them to the nearby park for a little while. :)  
• (LGNiece recently started attending a daycare/preschool program, where she's thriving, but she may join them occasionally!) 
• Spent the morning at the mall, walking and shopping (June 9th -- first time back in a while! -- June 16th. 23rd & 30th). 
• Bookstore browse (June 12th & 19th), followed by the first gelatos of the season! (June 12th), and a quick stop at the supermarket (June 19th). 
• Had the plumber in (again!) to unclog the kitchen sink & bathroom sink drains (again!), and (finally!) fix the master bathroom shower so that it runs warmer than just mildly lukewarm. (Last referenced in this post -- the boiler issues, diagnosed in January, while we were still in Manitoba, took more than two months to fix!!) (June 18th) 
• Stopped by the drugstore to pick up a prescription, buy some stamps and mail a few cards/letters at the post office counter there, and then went to the supermarket to pick up some takeout rice bowls for dinner. (June 18th) 

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 4 books in June (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2026 books").  Year to date, I've read 14 books,  reached 35% of my Goodreads Challenge goal, and am currently 5 books behind schedule to achieve it by year end.  

Midyear reading challenge checkup coming shortly....!  

• "Evvie Drake Starts Over" by Linda Holmes. (3 stars;  my review.) 
• "The Hacienda" by Isabel Canas (the July book for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club). (3 stars;  my review.) 
• "The Mitford Affair" by Marie Benedict. (4 stars;  my review.) 
• "In Memoriam" by Alice Winn (the August book for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club).  (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  4-5-5 stars. My most recent review retains those ratings.)  

Current reads: 

• "London Falling" by Patrick Radden Keefe. Finished this morning;  review to come!  
• "Still Glides the Stream" by D.E. Stevenson, with my DES group. We started reading & discussing this book on June 22nd at the suggestion of a group member (who also offered to organize the discussion), and will finish in mid-August It's a book we last covered in 2021 (my reviews here & here). Currently 18% completed. 
• I usually read the book all the way through myself first, and then follow along with our chapter-by-chapter discussion ( = two full reads) -- but since I still remembered this one fairly well, and had other books to read, I decided I'd just follow along with the group this time around. 
• There are still a few other DES books I have not yet read, or read since I was a teenager, and I would have preferred to read one of those for the group instead of a re-read (and a fairly recent one at that) -- but I don't have the time or bandwidth right now to suggest and organize one of those myself, so...!  
• "The Forsyte Saga" by John Galsworthy. After mulling it over (see this post!), I accepted a commenter's suggestion to do a readalong together!  Currently 60% completed. 
• "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's last summer (2025), where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  
• "Young Woman and the Sea" by Glenn Stout (September)
• "The Wedding People" by Alison Espach (October). (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  rated 4-4.5 stars.)
• "The Women" by Kristin Hannah (November)
• For my D.E. Stevenson group:  Future reads to be determined.  
• Footnotes & Tangents slow readalongs for 2026 include:

• "Treacle Walker" by Alan Garner.  (Starts this Friday, July 3rd;  running for three weeks through July 24th. Not sure I'm doing this one...) 
• "The Children’s Book" by A.S. Byatt (September–December) (Planning to take part in this one, as I've never read Byatt and this one sounds interesting.)    

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): 

• "A Flower Travelled in My Blood" by Haley Cohen Gilliland 
• "The Infamous Gilberts" by Angela Tomaski 
• "Murder Bimbo" by Rebecca Novack
• "Ringo: A Fab Life" by Tom Doyle 
• "Joyful, Anyway" by Kate Bowler 
• "My Friends" by Fredrik Backman 
• "What She Said" by Elizabeth Renzetti 
• "Dispatches From Grief" by Danielle Crittenden 
• "Brassy Bit of Aging Crumpet" by Mary Walsh 
• "The Uncool" by Cameron Crowe 
• "Kids, Wait Till You Hear This!" by Liza Minnelli

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Watching: 

• World Cup games. We're not as into it as some people are (and dh is more interested than I am) -- and the fact that Italy is not in the tournament is a huge disappointment locally (it would have been bonkers in this particular suburb if they had...!)  -- but it's still been fun watching some of the games and the local coverage -- particularly since Toronto is one of the host cities!  AND Canada has been doing so well so far...!  
• Last Saturday morning, I tuned into a Zoom session from the LM. Montgomery Institute's biennial (every two years) conference in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island -- the keynote address, given by Megan Follows, familiar to many as THE definitive "Anne of Green Gables" n the 1980s mini-series. She and her daughter are doing a documentary about the character of Anne and why she remains so beloved to so many around the world, more than a century after her creation.  Hearing Megan talk about her experiences was a delight, and I will look forward to seeing the documentary someday!  
• I've forgotten to mention this one before, but we've gotten hooked lately on "The Great British Bake-Off," which CBC has been showing (in reruns) from 5 to 6 PM on weekday afternoons. (All the seasons are available to stream on CBC Gem.) We recently saw (I think?) season 15 (from 2024?), and a really fun Christmastime episode featuring British soap opera stars from "Emmerdale," East Enders" and (my Mom's longtime favourite when I was growing up) "Coronation Street." (I  just checked, and it is still on CBC every night (!), as well as on CBC Gem!)  
• None of the GBBO  hosts/judges were familiar to me -- and the accents can occasionally be a little indecipherable ;)  -- but we've been enjoying it hugely.  :)  
• (My guess was that Noel Fielding is an aging rock star from the 1970s -- he certainly looks the part, lol.  Close -- he's an actor!)  
• They also show the Canadian version from time to time in the same time slot, and sometimes one of Jamie Oliver's cooking shows as well.  

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: (as of June 30th):  
• Heardle 60s: 74.2% (950/1281, 385 on first guess), up 0.1%. since May 31st. Max streak: 21. 
• Heardle 70s: 75.0% (770/1027, 433 on first guess), up 0.3% from May 31st. Max streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s:  41.3% (363/878, 141 on first guess), down 0.1% from May 31st. Max. streak: 6 (up from 5 in May).
• Heardle 90s: 32.9% (322/979, 83 on first guess), down 0.2% from May 31st. Max. streak: 9. 
• NYT Connections: 
• By May 31st, I had completed 654 games, won 89% of them (unchanged since Dec. 31st), including 352 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 20 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (an increase of 2 since Dec. 31st). Maximum winning streak:  45 (unchanged since June 30th, 2025).  Current streak:4.  
• As of June 30th, I'd played 684 games and won 90% of them (a gain of 1%! since Dec. 31st), including 370 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 20 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (unchanged since May 31st). Maximum winning streak: 45 (unchanged since June 30th, 2025). Current streak: 9.. 

Listening:  

Following:  . 

Eating/Drinking:  

• Over the past 18-24 months, we've been trying to eat healthier and lower our cholesterol -- and avoid having to take (more) medication -- since some less-than-stellar bloodwork results for both of us in fall 2024 and then again (for me) last November (2025, as mentioned in November's Right Now post). 
• I ended June 1.8 pounds less than when the month started.  Overall, I'm down almost 16 pounds since late October 2024 -- close to my lowest weight in more than a decade -- and almost 28 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight  (in August 2021). 
• (Dh is down almost 18 pounds overall since fall 2024.)
• Takeout meals included the usual pizza slices, soup and teriyaki rice bowls from the supermarket, thin-crust wood oven pizza and rotisserie chicken. (It's gotten a little boring lately, to be honest -- but it's not easy finding takeout meals that are (a) cheap-ish (b) not too horrible in terms of cholesterol and (c) something dh & I can agree on...!)  

Wearing:  With the advent of consistently warmer, sometimes humid weather, shorts and tank tops have been added to the wardrobe roster, along with short sleeves, capris & sandals. :) 

Buying (besides books, lol):   Plane tickets to visit my dad (again) in mid/late July. The house sale will have closed by then. We'll celebrate his 87th birthday while we're there. 

Irresistible summer clothes for the great-niblings and Little Princess #3.  :)  Lots of bargains right now!  

A cute red & white summery sundress, on sale at Suzy (AKA Suzy Shier, which has been around since I was in university, maybe even high school??). I hadn't been in a Suzy store in years, but spotted it on a rack as I was walking by at the mall, went in and tried it on). $20 plus tax (Canadian)!  (Score!!) 

Noticing/Appreciating:  The longer days and increased daylight... although, of course, we're now past summer solstice and the days are gradually starting to get shorter again...

Hoping:  That the a/c holds out in the heat wave we're having right now!  :p  (Temperatures in the 30sC;  humidex readings well into the 40sC. For reference, 30C = 86F, 35C = 95C, 40C = 104F and 45C = 113F.  Yuck!)  

Prioritizing:  Staying cool...!

Loving:  The days this month when the weather has been nice enough that I could sit outside on the balcony with a drink and a book for an hour or two. 

Trying:  To put down the phone/laptop more often and read more books this summer.  

Wondering:  Whether I'll get through my mental to-do list before we leave for Dad's again. (I suspect not...! -- certainly not all the items...) 

Wanting: To get back to the local art gallery where I have a membership soon... they have some new exhibits as well as a few that are closing soon that I'd like to see. 

                        

Feeling: Relieved to have the shower issue (and other plumbing issues) fixed. Happy to be spending time with Little Great-Nephew #2 (and looking forward to spending more time with his older brother too, now that school is out!). 

Coming up in July/Anticipating: Canada Day (which is actually today!) & Fourth of July 250 (U.S.) hoopla... Mom & Dad's house sale closing (also today, July 1st)...  our 41st wedding anniversary... spending some time with both the LGNephews at SIL's this summer... SIL & BIL's birthdays (which we'll miss out on celebrating with the family, because -- see next item!);  another trip to Manitoba to see my dad and celebrate his 87th (!) birthday. 

#MicroblogMondays: Ahhhhhh.... summer....

I've noticed that the flood of emails and other online distractions demanding my (increasingly limited -- erk...) attention slow to a trickle on weekends (and holidays).  And so I was able to carve out some time over this past weekend (and a couple of afternoons during the week as well) to just put down the phone/laptop, grab a book and a drink, and head out to the balcony for an hour or so to read.  The weather was pleasant (not too hot and/or humid -- although that's supposed to change over the next few days...!), the balcony remained shady until about 4:45 PM, and there wasn't a lot of ambient noise coming from the usually busy main road in front of the building or from the neighbourhood.  Ahhhhh....  what a nice kickoff to summer!  (Long may it continue...!).

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Recent odds & ends

• World Childless Week (WCW) has announced the daily topics for WCW 2026 (Sept. 14th to 20th).  Learn more about WCW 2026 and how you can get involved here.   
• In a blog post for the World Childless Week website, Gayle Letherby offers "Some Reflections on Being ‘Other'." 
• Lana Manikowski at "Infertile and Childless: So Now What?" poses an important question: "When IVF Fails Again and Again: How Do You Know When Enough Is Enough?" 
• Lexi Weber at "Not Expecting" shares five observations about infertility (including that "Infertility makes you weird at brunch").  
• PJ is "In Transition" -- and yes, PJ, this all definitely sounds familiar!!  (Read her post and a few of my latest, and you'll understand why...!)  
• Every now & then, a long-dormant blog on my blogroll will pop to the top of the list with a new post. "Tips on Triplets" re-emerged recently with a post ("Trauma Chameleon") looking at the lingering effects of loss and trauma, 15 years later. 
• Y'all know I love the Flavia de Luce novels by Canadian author Alan Bradley. Sadly, I learned through one of my book clubs (where we read the first Flavia book together which was happily very well received!) that Bradley died on May 19th at age 87. How he managed to channel an 11-year-old girl (from 1950s UK -- when he'd never set foot there before he wrote the first book!) so incredibly well will remain a mystery...!  
• Very happily, he left one final Flavia novel for us:  "Numb Were the Beadsman's Fingers," available on Nov. 3rd.  :)  Also, "Flavia" the movie (based on the first Flavia book, "The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie") will be released in North America on Dec. 4th! (It's been out in the UK since early April.)  

(SOME of the) Things I found while helping to empty out my parents' house

My parents were married for more than 65 years, and lived in the house that just sold (and is closing at the end of this month) for 42 years. During that time, they also helped clear a couple of other people's houses (and accumulated some stuff from those places) -- most notably the house my mom grew up in, which was built by her grandparents/my great-grandparents after their marriage in 1904, and bulldozed in early 1998. (My grandparents had moved in the early 1980s, to an apartment and later to the care home in town, but there was still a lot of stuff left in the house until just a few years before it was torn down.). 

Neither my mom, nor my grandmother, were very good about throwing things away (to put it mildly...). In a nutshell, there was (and still is) a LOT of STUFF to go through!  My sister & I started going through closets while I was still there in December/January, and she has continued the work over the past few months (mostly on weekends, because she's still working and lives about an hour away). By the time I got there a few weeks ago, the pile of boxes in the closet assigned to me to go through had grown quite a bit since my sister sent me the photo I used in this post) -- and of course there were still other closets and cupboards to empty too. 

Some of the stuff was mine. (I'm a bit of a packrat too -- although moving to and living in a condo has forced me to do better...! And suffice to say, I would not want to leave a similar amount of stuff behind for the nephews to go through, after I've gone...!)  My sister & I have done two or three weed-outs of our stuff at Mom & Dad's in the past, but there was still a LOT there that needed to be sorted through and disposed of. Somewhat miraculously, I managed to pare down what was there enough to fit into one box (after filling a suitcase to take home with me -- also miraculously, it did NOT exceed the airline's weight limit!!).  My sister and her partner have agreed to keep the box for me for one year. I figure I'll be heading back in July and likely again at Christmastime, and should be able to bring what's left home with me over the next two or three visits.    

It was physically tiring work, but emotionally exhausting too. (Kleenex was required.)  All these things, saved and treasured by my mom & grandmother (and great-grandmother) for all these years... and now it was up to my sister & me (both childless -- the buck stopped with us) to decide what the heck to do with it all.  

We sorted things into several different piles:  

• keep (for Dad's apartment, my sister or me, or possibly PND), 
• ask our cousins if they want it (not likely, as they just finished emptying out THEIR parents' & other grandparents' houses!), 
• recycle, 
• take to the local thrift store,
• take to the local library (books),
• possibly sell? (PND's dad sells vintage stuff through his eBay store -- he got some jaw-dropping prices for our old Barbie dolls and their clothes!). 
• I also set aside a few things I thought should be offered to the museum in the Minnesotan county where my mom's family is from.  (Not sure how or when we can get things to them, since neither my sister nor I are anxious to cross the border anytime soon...)
• Sadly, many of the things we found had to be tossed -- but I did take a lot of photos of some of the more interesting or memorable items. 

Among the things we found:  

• Tchotchkes upon tchotchkes... decorations for all seasons! (My sister is keeping some of the Christmas decorations for now, since Dad has expressed an interest in having a small tree in his apartment.)  
• At least four or five (mostly) complete sets of dishes, some of which my dad & sister took. The rest went to the thrift store.  
• Drinking glasses (some of them chipped and cracked -- we gleefully tossed those -- we'd been trying to get our mom to throw them out for years!!).  And lots of coffee mugs.  We took the ones that get used the most over to Dad's apartment.  
• We found an entire set of vintage early 1960s highball glasses that I dimly remember from my childhood, wrapped in newspaper and packed away in a box in the garage. I don't think it had been opened since Mom & Dad moved in, 42 years ago. When we realized what was in the box, we closed it up again and set it aside to go straight to the local thrift store.  
• An entire box (plus an entire drawer) filled with vintage recipe books that belonged to both our Mom and Grandma, as well as their boxes of recipe cards and piles of recipes written on random pieces of paper. My sister set most of these aside to go through later. 
• (There was also a stack of recipes in our great-grandmother's handwriting -- most of them in pencil and barely readable. Sadly, most of these got tossed.)  
• More empty plastic margarine tubs and casserole dishes than anyone will ever have use for.   
• Piles of towels and sheets, worn threadbare -- as well as some that were like new and barely or never used?? 
• What seemed to be every single greeting card my grandmother ever received, dating back to at least the 1940s. (Grandma, I love you, but seriously??)  
• Umpteen vintage postcards, some of them signed (some by family members), but many of them blank. (These may ultimately get tossed, but my sister is going to look into whether they're worth anything.) 
• Boxes & boxes and piles & piles of old photos (both our family's and Grandma's), dating back to the late 1800s. Some identified or identifiable, but many sadly not. (My sister is going to arrange to have them scanned, or as many as possible, but says she can't keep all the originals, which makes me cringe.)  
• Tax receipts and receipts from local businesses in my mom's/grandmother's hometown, dating back to the early 1900s, including some for my great-great grandmother's house.  (Those got tossed.) 
• My grandmother's report cards from school. (She wasn't a particularly good student!) 
• All of MY report cards from school! (I took these home with me.)  
• Letters and paperwork related to my medical history as a child, including a couple of vaccination records. (Ditto above.)  
• A box containing my childhood/teenaged/young adult diaries & journals and assorted other writing. This was a huge relief, as I'd been looking for these on previous visits home and they were not where I thought they should be. There were a lot more notebooks than I'd remembered, and they made a HEAVY pile!  I took some of the earliest (and likely funniest) ones home with me and will bring the rest on future visits. 
• I didn't have time to go through them, but I did glance into a couple (and shook my head -- "He's not worth all the angst, teenage Loribeth!"). 
• I may toss some or all of them eventually, but I would like the chance to look through them more closely first, and I didn't have time to do that then. 
• I did immediately toss one notebook filled with really bad, cringeworthy teenage poetry. Yikes!!  lol  
• I'd tossed most of my school notebooks, etc., during previous clearouts -- but I'd still kept several scrapbooks, projects, etc., plus programs from high school band concerts, drama productions, etc. and many of the essays I'd written.  I think I kept every university essay too.  I tossed almost all of them, but took photos of some of the grades and teacher/prof comments. 
• I had to chuckle/shake my head when I looked at the titles/topics of some of the papers (which sounded strangely familiar/current...!):  Quebec separatism, western Canadian alienation, the rise of the Moral Majority and evangelical churches' influence in U.S. politics, Trudeau's record as prime minister (Pierre, obviously -- Justin was a child at the time!)...  Plus ca change...! 
• On a Grade 12 essay on Shakespeare's Hamlet, my teacher dryly observed, "So much story here to get to the point you wish to make."  I took a photo of that comment -- touchez, Mr. P!  (Dh will tell you things haven't improved over the past 45+ years...!  lol and ouch!) 
• A stack of vintage 1970s Osmonds bubble gum cards. 
• A stack of all the 1970s-era 45s my sister & I owned (separately & jointly, pooling our allowances). 
• LPs: I already had most of mine (and gave them to Older Nephew when we moved into our condo), but there were still plenty owned by my sister, ones we owned jointly (lots of Archies, Partridge Family, Osmonds, Bay City Rollers, K-Tel compilations), Christmas albums (many of them gifts from our grandparents), and ones that were my mom's. 
• Beautiful church certificates from my great-grandparents' 1904 marriage, as well as similar baptism certificates for several of their children, including my grandmother. 
• Guest books for both my grandparents' funerals, my great-uncle's funeral and my parents' 40th wedding anniversary party.  
• Stacks of letters/notes that my grandparents wrote to each other in the years between when they started going out together (late 1920s) until their marriage in 1937. This floored me, because they lived in the SAME SMALL TOWN during almost all of that time!!  Many of them didn't even seem to have been mailed (no envelopes, just names written on the back of carefully folder pages.  I'm guessing they passed notes to each other in the hallways at school, or had them delivered by friends?  
• Another (smaller) pile of letters.... from other girls to my grandfather (!!).  Flirtatious ones too, from what I gathered at a glance. (No time to sit and read all this stuff, even if I wanted to!)  
• This also floored me for two reasons:  (1) My understanding was my grandparents only ever had eyes for each other... apparently not!  (2)  My grandmother actually KEPT these letters from her rivals in her house??!  
• A vintage 1899 single-page "love letter" in beautiful handwriting, from my great-grandfather to my great-grandmother (!), apparently in the early days of their courtship. She was leaving on a trip west:  he laments that their acquaintance to date has been too brief, and ends by asking her to "Please do not forget your [name]."  Awww..... 
• A pile of letters and V-mails from my great-uncle (my grandmother's younger brother) from when he served in Italy during World War II, as well as his induction notice, discharge papers and other related paperwork. He never married or had children... lived a quiet, unassuming life with my grandparents after he returned from the war, and worked on a local honey farm as a beekeeper, until his untimely death at age 58.
• Also:  my grandfather's induction notice, and his medical board rejection notice (!). 
• Also:  a stack of my great-grandmother's wartime ration books (!) -- WITH coupons still inside them!!  
• I insisted to my sister that these need to be donated to the county museum. I think I've convinced her.  (I hope.)  I took photos of one of the letters, but I wish I'd had time to read more of them.  
• An entire box filled with letters my mom wrote to my dad (!) and her pre-dad boyfriend/fiance from nursing school (she was there one year before getting married), as well as a diary. Yes, I was curious!  But -- my sister & I decided there are some things you probably shouldn't know about your parents (especially when one of them is still around), and agreed these needed to go, unread. 
• My mother's 1960 wedding dress (short, pale blue) and several vintage 1950s prom/bridesmaid dresses.  The wedding dress sadly had long-established mildew stains on it and had to go, but my sister is going to see if any vintage stores or charities that outfit girls for prom would be interested in the others.  
• MY 1979 graduation dress. (I took a photo of it and put in the pile for the thrift store.) 
• Several adorable children's dresses that my sister and I wore back in the 1960s.
• An adorable little red sweater with white trim and little buttons that look like owl faces, hand-knit for me when I was a toddler/pre-schooler by one of my mom's high school friends. We showed it to PND and she took it home to wash and see if it would fit Little Princess #3.    
• A large box filled with smaller boxes, ALL containing Mom's jewelry (and some of Grandma's too, I think). The vast majority of it was cheap costume stuff.  We didn't have time to go through it, but my sister said she will and she'll set aside anything she thinks I'd be interested in. 
• And... a little wooden chest, that I'm going to post about separately.  

It's not often that I manage to make my sister completely crack up
with laughter, but this photo did the trick!!  🤣
It's from a Grade 1 (1966-67) scrapbook project, titled "Ways Plants Help Us."
The page on the right is captioned "Beauty and shade" 
and apparently is illustrated with a vintage ad for bras and girdles!  
🤣🤣🤣

Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

April was still pretty grey & chilly -- there were still some snowflakes in the air (if not sticking to the ground) on April 19th (!) -- but towards the end of the month, the temperatures warmed up enough that we were able to open the balcony door on several afternoons.  The trees (finally) began budding out, and we could see some daffodils in the neighbourhood yards.  It's about time!!  We celebrated Easter with the family, dh had another birthday, and we made plans for another trip west to see my dad (coming up soon). 

Some of the things I/we did this month include: 

• Went to Michaels & Chapters (bookstore) to pick up a few more things for the great-niblings' Easter goodie bags. (April 1st) 
• Drove with dh into the heart of the city to have my eyes checked by the same ophthalmologist who did surgery on my right eye in July 2022. And was VERY relieved that further surgery is not needed (at least, not at this point in time)! -- see this post. (April 2nd) 
• Spent Easter with BIL & family, including SIl's two brothers and their partners/families -- 18 people in a not-huge house, including four children between the ages of 1 and 8. It was chaotic, but fun to see everyone, and dinner was excellent. 
• Shopped for groceries at the supermarket and picked up takeout soup or pizza for lunch (April 6th, 13th, 20th & 27th).  
• Went to the mall to walk & shop for a couple of hours (April 7th , 14th, 21st & 28th). 
• Our visits have been a bit shorter than usual this month (and my wallet is a bit fatter!  lol) -- Old Navy is closed for renovations until mid-June. Horrors!!  (lol)  
• Celebrated dh's birthday with takeout for dinner (Chinese -- see "Eating," below). (April 11th) 
• Returned to the mall in our old community for haircuts, lunch and shopping/walking. Also visited Katie at the cemetery. (April 17th) 
• Headed into midtown for follow-up optometrist appointments (April 22nd).  As I wrote here, new glasses (for both of us) are on hold for now, but we'll be back in October and we'll see then...! 
• Browsed at the bookstore and picked up a few things at the supermarket en route home (April 24th). 
• Drove with BIL & SIL to dh & BIL's cousin's house (the same cousin who hosts us at their cottage every year)(April 24th). He & his wife are both accountants and they do BIL & SIL's income taxes every year at this time! as well as Older Nephew's and his wife's.  (Dh does ours.) 
• (Dh went with BIL & SIL up to Older Nephew's on Sunday afternoon, April 26th, to have lunch, visit and deliver their completed income taxes. I stayed home to host a previously scheduled meeting of one of my online book clubs.)

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 2 books in April (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2026 books").  Year to date, I've read 8 books,  reached 20% of my Goodreads Challenge goal, and am currently 5 books behind schedule to achieve it by year end.  

• "The Bandit Queens" by Parini Shroff (the May selection for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club).  (4 stars;  my review.)
• "The Four Graces" by D.E. Stevenson -- re-read/readalong/discussion with my D.E. Stevenson group, which began Feb. 23 and concluded a few days ago. Original 2015 review here;  February 2026 review here. (4 stars;  latest review.)   

Current reads: 

• "Regeneration" by Pat Barker. Slow readalong with Footnotes & Tangents (April 3rd – May 14th). Currently 60% completed. 
• "The Forsyte Saga" by John Galsworthy. After mulling it over (see this post!), I accepted a commenter's suggestion to do a readalong together!  Currently 34% completed. 
• "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's last summer, where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  
• "The Ministry of Time" by Kaliane Bradley (June). (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  rated 4.5-5 stars.) 
• "The Hacienda" by Isabel Canas (July)
• "In Memoriam" by Alice Winn (August).  (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  4-5-5 stars.)  
• "Young Woman and the Sea" by Glenn Stout (September)
• "The Wedding People" by Alison Espach (October). (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  rated 4-4.5 stars.)
• "The Women" by Kristin Hannah (November)
• For my D.E. Stevenson group: Next books to be determined... 

• Footnotes & Tangents slow readalongs for 2026 include:
• "The Inheritors" by William Golding (June)
• "Treacle Walker" by Alan Garner (July)
• "The Children’s Book" by A.S. Byatt (September–December)

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): 

• "Trying" by Chloe Caldwell 
• "Atmosphere" by Taylor Jenkins Reid 
• "Woman on the Edge of Time" by Marge Piercy 
• "Silences" by Tillie Olsen
• "My Real Children" by Jo Walton 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** 

Watching: Actually watched a fair bit of new stuff this month! 

• "Finding Your Roots" (season 12) on PBS, Tuesday nights, which began in January.
• "The Forsytes" on PBS.  This started on March 22nd and ran for six  (6) episodes, ending April 26th.  I'm still reading the book ("The Forsyte Saga" by John Galsworthy -- see "Reading," above!), but (as I speculated in this previous post) the series is a "reimagining" of the novel and/or a sort of prequel to it, and not a strict adaptation -- highly soap opera-fied, and not particularly faithful to the period it's supposed to be set in (late 1880s/Victorian England). Somewhat entertaining, but... (I'll probably still watch season 2, though...!)
• "The Count of Monte Cristo" (on PBS, immediately following "The Forsytes" on Sunday nights -- it also started on March 22nd = 6 episodes of eight aired to date). Lost treasure, lost love and ridiculously complex revenge plots! with a huge cast of characters and subplots to keep track of (still not sure I have them all straight??).  But also jaw-dropping sets/locations and gorgeous costumes.  I am enjoying it!  
• Men's world curling championships in Ogden, Utah. Our Canadian rink, skipped by Matt Dunstone from Manitoba, lost the gold medal match to Sweden on April 4th.   

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: (as of April 30th): 
• Heardle 60s: 74.1% (918/1239, 374 on first guess), down 0.1% from March 31st. Max streak: 21. 
• Heardle 70s: 74.9% (738/985, 412 on first guess), down 0.4% from March 31st. Max streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s:  41.5% (348/838, 131 on first guess), down 0.3% from March 31st. Max. streak: 5.
• Heardle 90s: 33.3% (313/939, 81 on first guess), down 0.1% from March 31st. Max. streak: 9. 
• NYT Connections: 
• By March 31st, I had completed 594 games, won 89% of them (unchanged since Dec. 31st), including 317 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 18 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (unchanged from Dec. 31st). Maximum winning streak:  45 (unchanged since June 30th).  Current streak: 3.  
• As of April 30th, I'd played 624 games and won 89% of them, including 337 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 18 where I got the most difficult/purple category first. Maximum winning streak: 45 (unchanged since June 30th). Current streak: 11. 

Listening: To a couple of episodes of The Full Stop and Culture Study (with Anne Helen Petersen). 

Following:  The journey of Artemis II around the moon and back to earth, earlier this month -- with Canadian astronaut Jeremy Hansen on board, as well as the first black man and first woman to orbit the moon (and a childless woman at that!).  From its launch on April 1st to its textbook perfect splashdown on April 10th, this was a joy to follow, and a much-needed feel-good story at a dark time in the world... 

Eating/Drinking:  

• Over the past 18 months, we've been trying to eat healthier and lower our cholesterol -- and avoid having to take (more) medication -- since some less-than-stellar bloodwork results for both of us in fall 2024 and then again (for me) last November (2025, as mentioned in November's Right Now post). 
• I ended April 1.4 pounds less than when the month started.  Overall, I'm down more than 14 pounds since late October 2024 -- close to my lowest weight in more than a decade -- and more than 26 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight  (in August 2021). 
• (Dh is down more than 18 pounds overall since fall 2024.)
• We celebrated dh's birthday on April 11th with takeout from a popular Chinese chain restaurant outlet (not the healthiest stuff, but we hadn't had it in quite a while!). We usually get their "Dinner for Two," which includes 2 egg rolls, sweet & sour chicken balls, chicken chow mein, and fried rice. (Also fortune cookies, of course!)  It's a ton of food and we always have enough leftovers for another complete dinner later in the week!  
• Older Nephew's Wife sent home some leftover burgers, hot dogs and pasta salad with dh when he went up there with BIL & SIL for lunch last Sunday (while I hosted an online book club Zoom). Dh thinks pasta salad (or cold pasta anything) is gross (likewise bean salad)... his loss!  (I don't care for the peppers & cucumbers in it, but I just pick those out and eat the rest!)  
• We indulged in takeout pizza slices or soup from the supermarket, once or twice a week, for lunch and/or dinner. Saturday night takeout dinners this month included teriyaki rice bowls from the supermarket, and rotisserie chicken (baked potato on the side for me;  fries for dh) from Swiss Chalet.    
• Trying to use up what's in the fridge/cupboards as much as possible, and minimize new purchases, leading up to our upcoming trip.  We'll do a big trip to the grocery store to restock when we return.  

Wearing: The weather was mild enough overall that, by mid-month, there were several days when I was able to ditch my socks and go barefoot in the house (if not outside...!), plus switch from long to short sleeved T-shirts and long to capri-length yoga pants (again, not outside yet!). :) 

Buying (besides books, lol):  Plane tickets for our next visit to my dad, next month (at a thankfully/relatively -- and surprisingly, considering current world events and their impact on fuel prices -- reasonable price).  

Also, not exactly "buying," but we both had to pay income taxes (ouch!). 

Planning:  Our next trip to Manitoba to see my dad, and help my sister with the ongoing house cleanout and setting up Dad's new apartment (he took possession on April 30th). Sis has stacked a pile of boxes in the closet of the room where we stay for me to go through while I'm there (and sent me a photo -- see here!)(eeeekkkk....!).  

Missing:  Dh's cousin's daughter's wedding in July. We had to RSVP this week. It's the same week as my dad's 87th birthday and what would have been my parents' 66th wedding anniversary, and I think I need to be with my dad then.  I would have liked to go, though -- I have a nice dress I could have worn, and it's always fun to see everyone. (Plus, it's being held at a barn venue!! -- which is a real departure for dh's family's weddings!  I'm curious!  lol)  

Prioritizing/Trying: To tackle some of the "stuff" in my own house/condo (see above for my inspiration!  lol).  Granted, we did get rid of a lot of stuff when we moved, 10 years ago -- but there's a lot that I haven't looked at/re-evaluated since then, and there's more that can be done...!  (And I'll likely be bringing at least a few more things home with me from my Dad's house too!)  I've made progress on whittling down the magazine pile under the living room coffee table (yay me?). 

Loving:  When I actually get a good night's sleep!  ;)  

Noticing: The trees are starting to bud with leaves and blossoms!  And I've seen some daffodils, in the yards of the neighbourhood houses. Yay!!  :)  

Appreciating:  Being able to have the balcony door open, even slightly, on several days this month. 

Wanting:  I feel like I'm always writing this (lol), but -- what I just said above aside -- I want nicer weather!  I am sick of this winter!! 

Wondering:  When it's going to be warm enough outside to warrant a trip to the gelato shop??  ;)  

Hoping:  That we can get downtown to the AGO (Art Gallery of Ontario) to see the Paul McCartney photo exhibit that's on there until June 7th. (Which might be difficult, given that we'll be away for two of the remaining weeks the exhibit is on...) I don't think I've been downtown since I met Mel and her family for dinner, two summers ago! 

                        

Feeling: Glad that it's (finally!) starting to feel at least a little bit like spring (even if it's taken its sweet time getting here...!).  A little dazed at how quickly the days, weeks, and this year generally so far are passing by. (How is it May already??)  Sad that this upcoming visit will likely be the last time I spent with my dad & sister in our family home of the past 42 years. :(  Missing my mom. :(