World Childless Week: Day Seven: Moving Forwards

Day Seven of World Childless Week 2024 is focused -- as it usually is -- on the theme "Moving Forwards."  

From the website description: 

What big steps or subtle differences have you noticed over the last year? Have you gone to a child heavy event and enjoyed yourself, or been prepared and confident to leave when it became too much? Have you spoken openly about being childless, made a small comment on a social media post that inferred negatively towards the childless, or approached a manager in work about inclusivity? Have you rediscovered old interests or just started to just feel better when you wake each day enlightened that you can now make new dreams? 

We still may sway sideways and backwards at times, but see those steps as part of your dance moving slowly and steadily forwards. 

The passage of time (20+ years!!) and looking back on certain milestones will often bring a shock of recognition of how things have changed, how far I've come and how differently I feel now than I did then. (One advantage of getting older is that fewer and fewer people ask and hint and prod you about pregnancy plans... although eventually, you start getting questions about how many grandchildren you have instead...!)

I think back to one particular incident, at Christmastime, a few years after we had thrown in the towel on infertility treatments, which showed me that perhaps I was further down the road of acceptance than I had realized.  I wrote about it here. 

Another measure of progress would be my increasing ability/willingness to enter a Baby Gap (or other baby clothing) store. Once, it was a source of pain, to be avoided. I eventually did get to the point where I could go in to buy a baby shower gift (even if was often just a gift card...!). These days, I love to go there (and other children's wear stores) to shop for Little Great-Nephew & Little Great-Niece -- albeit the little girls' racks still have the power to give me occasional pangs... 

There are probably other markers of progress that I've written about over the years, although I can't recall any other specific posts to share here with you right now. 

One thing I remember from our pregnancy loss support group days is that you never realized just how far you'd come down this road less travelled until someone new arrived, fresh and raw in their own grief. I still see that to some extent today when I read social media posts and responses from younger women who are new to the stunning realization that they will not have the children they assumed they would have. 

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and FIVE  free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Seven page for anyone who cannot make the live event. 

World Childless Week: Day Six: We Are Worthy

Day Six of World Childless Week 2024 is focused on the theme "We Are Worthy."  

This is a frequent WCW theme!  From the website description: 

Yes we are, and we need to keep shouting it to the point we believe it and so does everyone else. We were whole and wonderfully unique from the day we were born; having children does not equate to worthiness. We don’t need to achieve anything spectacular during our lives; just being kind can complete us and leave its mark. 

Today it’s time to sing your praises and tell us why you are worthy. 

Several years ago, there was an online summit for childless people during National Infertility Awareness Week on the theme of "We Are Worthy," and I wrote about it and my thoughts on the subject of worthiness here. I can't think of any other posts I've written about worth/worthiness in particular -- but I have pointed out plenty of examples of pronatalism and how the childless/free experience has been marginalized, when I've found them. I didn't know the term "pronatalism" when I first started this blog, so I started using the tag "mommy mania" -- the best I could come up with at the time. I've since re-tagged most of those posts as "pronatalism." 

The "bible" on pronatalism from a childfree (by choice) perspective would be "The Baby Matrix" by Laura Carroll (which I reviewed here).  A real eye-opener, and highly recommended!  

On the flip side, I suppose, would be the posts I've written about or touching on feminism, tagged as "the f word." I was brought up thoroughly steeped in the second-wave feminist messages of the 1970s (for good and for bad);  I have always believed and often said that I am more than my uterus. Unfortunately, that's still not the message that society tends to send us or the people around us....!  

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and three free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Six page for anyone who cannot make the live event. 

World Childless Week: Day Five: No Kids! Do You Want Mine?

Day Five of World Childless Week 2024 is about comments that hurt -- with a particular focus on the tired old "joke" "No Kids!  Do You Want Mine?" 

From the website description: 

How does this comment make you feel? Does it feel ridiculous or make you angry? Do they not think we may have considered adoption or fostering and their words could be opening up a whole can of worms? Should we say yes please, pack them an overnight bag and I’ll be around with a van to collect the rest of their stuff tomorrow! Is it simply cruel because of the disregard it shows for our situation, and the implication that their children could fill the hole left in our hearts at never having our own. 

Is it meant to be a joke, because I don’t hear anyone but the parent laughing?   

Needless to say, over 17 years, I've written a LOT of posts venting about the really dumb, hurtful things that people have said to me or within my hearing. :p  No specific posts that I can point to, but you would find some of them under the labels "annoying things" and "WTF?"  ;)  

Re: the specific question in today's theme:  I HAVE been asked that ("you want to take her??"). Even more annoying, it was someone who really should have known better (a fellow loss mom who had been through infertility and eventually adopted). 

Also: an online friend from my original childless living group once had someone ask her "the question."  She told us she enthusiastically responded, "Okay!" and knelt down to talk to the child. "Guess what, you're coming home with me!  We're going to have a lot of fun..." and blathered on in that vein until the mom hustled the kid away, with a few strange looks back at my friend, lol. (Well, she ASKED...!)  This was years ago, but I like to think she thought twice before asking that question again...!  

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and three free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Five page for anyone who cannot make the live event. 

World Childless Week 2024: Day Four: Childless Friend or Foe?

Day Four of World Childless Week 2024 is about friendship -- "Childless Friend or Foe?" From the website description: 

 Have you seen or felt the gap of friendship widen as friends become parents? Have you struggled to find mutual ground and felt pushed aside as they navigate to other mums, cancel dates or suddenly appear with a baby in tow when it was supposed to be a girl’s afternoon? Have you had a situation where a friend who you thought understood has suddenly made a comment or sent a photo that totally broke down the bond you had? Who was it who pulled away, perhaps you did and are happier for it; or maybe there is lasting sadness? Or have you stayed friends with someone who really has been there for you and tried to understand even when they truly don’t? Maybe you’ve reached out and reconnected with a past friend or created a whole new friendship circle. 

How do you feel about building friendships, are you confident to reach out to mums, the childless and childfree alike in order to build bridges and create understanding?     

This blog includes nearly 500 posts (!) labelled "family/friends."  Clearly, there's a lot to talk/write about when it comes to our friends and families, and how they support us -- or not -- as childless people.  It's also clear that I did not have the time nor the energy to comb through 500 posts in search of some good representative posts to share here...! 

I did, however, remember that I have written a lot of posts about the support I've received from childless women in online communities over the past 20+ years.. Some of them are tagged as "iVillage message board" and "SPALS email list."   

As I went through those posts -- and did a search specifically for posts about "friendship" -- I found a couple of posts that seemed worth noting:  

• From 2017: "It takes a village" 
• From 2018: "Social capital, adult friendships & childlessness"
• More recently, from August 2024: "#MicroblogMondays: Online friends are real friends :)"

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and two free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Four page for anyone who cannot make the live event. 

World Childless Week, Day Three: The Importance of Pets

Day Three of World Childless Week 2024 is about "The Importance of Pets." From the website description: 

Why do so many of us find companionship and solace with our pets? Do you gather strength from their unconditional love or find comfort in being able to nurture and care for an animal? Do you see yourself as a fur-mum or hate the phrase? How do you feel when someone else tries to discredit the value of your pet or imply that somehow we don’t understand the difference between a child and an animal? 

What do your furry, feathered and scaly friends mean to you?  

I understand why so many people (with & without kids) have pets, and I am especially fond of dogs (so long as they're not too big!).  However, dh & I do not have and never have had pets during our nearly 40 years of married life -- although I briefly had a puppy and a turtle when I was a child, and we're constantly being told that we "need" to get a dog. (eyeroll)  I wrote posts in 2013 and 2017 explaining why we choose to remain petless. We do adore & dote on Older Nephew's miniature dachshund, now 8 years old. :)  You can find all my pet-related posts here. 

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and three free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Three page for anyone who cannot make the live event.

World Childless Week 2024: Day Two: Childless Person of Colour

Day Two of World Childless Week 2024 is about being a "Childless Person of Colour."  From the website description: 

Do you feel there are additional pressures on you as a childless person of colour? Have familial pressures, cultural norms or religious expectations added to the pressure of being childless? Have you met racial prejudice or discrimination alongside judgement? 

What do you encounter that is hidden from society that needs to be brought to the forefront and exposed?

This is obviously a topic that lies outside of my lived experience -- so I don't really have any relevant past content on this blog that I can point to. But do check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions, and three free, live webinars related to this subject. They will be recorded and the links will be posted later on the Day Two page for anyone who cannot make the live event. 

#MicroblogMondays: It's World Childless Week! Day One: Our Stories

(Reposted with updates and additions from a previous WCW-related post dated September 12, 2022.)  

World Childless Week is here!  -- an entire week filled with inspiring and comforting things to read, watch, listen to and participate in, focused on a different topic/theme each day (and new material posted daily too). If you miss some of the live webinars, don't worry;  they are posted on the WCW website later in the day/week to be enjoyed and consulted indefinitely. (Previous years' WCW content is also available onsite -- what a great resource for our community!) 

As usual, I didn't manage to get my act together to write something new -- but I did participate in this year's very first webinar this morning! (more on that below!) -- and I'm always happy to promote WCW here. A couple of years ago, it occurred to me that I've already covered many of the WCW topics in my blog over the almost (gulp) 17 years I've been writing here. So each day this week, it will be my intention to post about the day's topic here, with some links to some of my own writing on the subject (if I have written about it in the past). (Some of the content I wrote for previous years' WCW summary posts may be repurposed for this year's posts.) 

Enjoy! :) 

*** *** *** 

Day One is focused on the theme "Our Stories" (as it usually is).  

Our voices are often unheard and dismissed and our stories are twisted by the media to reflect their desired outcome rather than the gritty reality we face. Society often assumes we all have issues that can be resolved through IVF, adoption and “just relaxing”. Our stories are important as they explain the reality of why we find ourselves as childless, the emotions we have to face and the grief that sits in our heart. If you are childless not by choice, due to infertility, circumstance, chance or tough choices, you can share your story here with confidence.  

We may not have travelled the same path but we’ve all arrived at the same destination; no matter how dark you have felt, we’ve been there too, and we understand. 

I'm a firm believer in the power of telling our stories (if only to each other, at least at first). Meetings of the pregnancy loss support group that dh & I used to facilitate would always begin by going around the room and having each person introduce themselves and tell us their story, what brought them to us. Sometimes (especially at first), the stories would be long, detailed and filled with tears. Over time, new details would emerge that we hadn't heard before. And we'd learn to develop a shortened "Reader's Digest" version of our story, which left more time for the longer stories (plus, over time, the "regulars" would all get to know each other and each others' stories pretty well, so it wasn't quite as necessary or important to go through all the details for the umpteenth time). 

Telling and retelling our stories to each other like this, week after week, in a supportive environment among others who had similar stories to tell, was good practice for handling those inevitable innocent questions and awkward encounters that all of us experience, sooner or later. In training sessions, we also learned that telling our stories, or some version of them -- over and over and over again -- helps us to process what happened. 

I think the same principles apply to our stories about our childlessness.  Our stories matter, because they're OURS, and because by telling them, we light the way for other childless women looking for support and comfort.  Our stories remind each other that we are not alone.  

This entire blog, of course, is my story :) (or at least parts of/a version of it) and it has evolved, along with my story, over the past 17 years.  A barebones, thumbnail version of my story can be found in the "About me" Blogger profile near the top of this page on the right-hand side (or in the link here). You can find a slightly longer version in the "About me" page (found just under the title/header of this blog). The "Timeline" page (link right beside the "About me" link) also gives you an idea of how my story unfolded and some of the significant dates & events. 

If you're really interested in all the gory details (and be forewarned, some of them ARE a bit gory, emotionally if not physically), I wrote a series of posts tagged "1998 memories" in which I relived my one doomed pregnancy, 10 years after the fact. I did the same thing with "The Treatment Diaries," all about our foray into infertility treatments, 10 years after we abandoned them and resigned ourselves to permanent childlessness. 

I also wrote a few posts shortly after I started this blog, where I told a condensed version of my story (up to that time): 

• Blogtivism: My Story (& how mandated coverage could have helped) (November 2007)
• How we made "the decision" (November 2007)

If you have some difficulty telling your story to others (and I know I have!) -- especially to parents who might not understand/appreciate the subtleties of involuntary childlessness -- take comfort in the words of Brene Brown -- who emphasizes the importance of telling our stories -- but also this:  

Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?" If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions. Today's webinars -- "What Can We Learn From Our Family History?" featuring a conversation between Michael Hughes of the Full Stop podcast and yours truly ;) -- "Emotional Seasons of Childlessness" with Sandra McNicol and others; and "Childlessness and Childhood Trauma" with Juli Angelis, have all concluded, but were recorded, and the videos will be posted to the Day One page as well as the WCW YouTube channel, for anyone who missed seeing them live.  

*** *** *** 

I was up before dawn this morning -- it actually just started turning light outside when I logged onto the Zoom link just before 7 AM for our webinar about family history/genealogy and childlessness with Michael Hughes this morning (it was 9 PM for Michael in Australia! and 12 noon for Stephanie Phillips in the UK).  I'll admit I was a bit nervous, especially at first -- I've been around the childless community for a long time now, but haven't spoken much publicly about my experiences, especially under my full/real name!  But Michael & I could probably talk about this stuff all day (lol) ;)  and the hour went by pretty quickly.  We had, I think, 17 participants watching live at one point -- not bad for early morning on a work day! -- and a few questions in the chat and Q&A.  

If you watched (live, or later), I'd love to know what you thought!  (A special hello to anyone who found this blog as a result of the webinar/WCW!)   And if you have questions, you can ask them in the comments below, and I will try to answer.  

Here's a previous blog post with some background on how the webinar came about. :)   

You can find my other genealogy-related posts here. 

I'm particularly fond of this post from 2014, which tells the story of Aunt Maggie, who saved the letters that spurred my interest in my family history (and provided some valuable clues), and also includes the quote from George Elliot's novel "Middlemarch," which I read near the end of our webinar. :)  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

Odds & ends for the weekend

• We had a great time last weekend at dh's cousin's cottage with the cousin, his wife, BIL & SIL.  The weather did not exactly co-operate -- it was chilly and rainy for much of the time we were there -- but we three women were able to get out for walks both days we were there (up & down a lot of hills and inclines, which had me huffing & puffing -- but we went at a nice pace, and I survived...!).  We also spent time out on the deck for a few hotly contested games of cornhole!  
• Unfortunately, within days of our return, the joint where my left big toe meets the foot was sore and slightly red. Gout -- almost exactly three years since my first encounter with it (same spot).  I suspect alcohol was the trigger. I didn't drink THAT much while we were at the cottage -- 2 drinks on Friday, 3 on Saturday and none on Sunday (mostly white wine) -- but I guess that might have been enough...!  (Sigh...)  If it's not better in another day or so, I will call the dr. I still have some naproxen left over from the first/last time I had it, but I suspect it might not be effective after 3 years, so I'm just taking ibuprofen for now. 
• Dh & I got out on the balcony this week and WASHED THE WINDOWS!!  It really didn't take us very long -- about an hour -- and it makes SUCH a difference!!  I like to do it around the same time the professionals wash the outside windows on the rest of the building (they won't come onto our balconies; those windows are up to us), but they didn't come this year until just before we left to visit my parents in mid-July, and since we got back, either the weather has not been cooperative or we've been busy.  
• I got a follow-up email today from the organizers of Monday night's Zoom call, sponsored by the new Alliance for Child-Free Voters (which I wrote about here and here). It included a link to the video recording of the call, and a list of resources (most of them childfree-focused).  
• If you're interested in watching the Zoom call, it's about 90 minutes long. Here's the link! 
• I responded to the email, thanking the organizers -- and then asking, nicely (I hope?), that they please, please, please consider including some speakers from the childLESS (not by choice) community on any future calls. I suggested a few names & provided a few links.  
• And I actually got a very nice email back, thanking me!  We'll see what happens! 
• Tomorrow, I'm having lunch with some local CNBC ladies -- all of us members of the private online Childless Collective community -- as well as one who's visiting the city from Washington State. I've only met one of these women before, and I'm looking forward to it! 
• Two GREAT pieces from Helen Lewis in the Atlantic re: J.D. Vance, childless cat ladies, and the most famous childless cat lady of all. ;)  (Gift links;  good for 14 days from today's date.) 
• "J. D. Vance’s Very Weird Views About Women"  
• "Taylor Swift’s Three-Word Burn of J. D. Vance" 
• From the Washington Post:  "Forget Trump’s IVF promises. The GOP’s record shows contempt for fertility care." (Subhead:  "As always, pay more attention to what politicians do than to what they say.") (Gift link.)
• Egg showers, anyone?? (New York Times article -- gift link.)(Now I've heard of everything...!)
• Glynnis MacNicol in the New York Times (gift link):  "I Love the Kids in My Life. And I’m Raising None of Them."  Excerpt: 

In America, there is a persistent, pernicious belief that the only way to be invested in a child’s life is to be a parent — and, for women, to give birth to that child. (Ella and Cole Emhoff, among others, would like a word.) In a country that offers so little support to parents, this often feels like a not-so-covert argument for taking women back to a time when they lacked control over their bodies and their finances.

Recently, the Pew Research Center reported that 64 percent of women under 50 who don’t have children say they “just don’t want to.” This has contributed to another round of hand-wringing about birthrates and childless cat ladies. What the seemingly inexhaustible discussion around this topic leaves out is that many people who say they don’t want to birth or parent children do have children in their lives — other people’s. We rarely account for that, nor do we give full weight to the fulfillment these relationships provide...

It’s difficult to understand why we are so parsimonious with our ideas of both a child’s capacity to love and an adult’s capacity to love children she is not parenting. Of course children benefit from being loved — the more, the better. But the reverse is also true. 

• And finally, a reminder that World Childless Week starts Monday! -- and Michael Hughes (of the Full Stop podcast) and I will be kicking things off with an early-morning (in North America, anyway! lol) Zoom webinar: "What Can We Learn From Our Family History?"  Hope to see some of you there!  (And if you're not an early riser, a recording will be available later on the WCW website and YouTube channel!)  Details and sign-up link in this previous blog post. 

#MicroblogMondays: Coming soon to a screen near you...!

I tend to roll my eyes when people talk about their "passion" for something (perhaps because it was such an over-used buzzword in my former workplace!) -- but I think it would be safe to say that I am "passionate" about family history/genealogy. :)  

That is why I am taking a big step outside my comfort zone to share that passion with the rest of you!  As part of World Childless Week next month, Michael Hughes of the Full Stop podcast and I will be presenting a webinar on the morning of Monday, Sept. 16th, called "What Can We Learn From Our Family History?" 

Stephanie Joy Phillips, who founded and runs World Childless Week, proposed the idea of a WCW webinar to me earlier this year, after reading some of my comments on a discussion thread related to childlessness, family history and legacy. I knew that Michael is also a keen genealogist (and even more knowledgeable on the subject than I am), and suggested him as another participant -- and happily, he said yes!  

I know many of us who don't have children don't see the point in learning about our families' histories.  It can hurt to see our childlessness reflected in black and white on a family tree chart -- our siblings and cousins' branches growing and flourishing -- while our little branch comes to a dead end -- so why bother?  Who really will remember us -- any of us, with or without kids, anyway -- especially after a century or two?  Shouldn't we be more concerned with the here and now and what we can do to make life better for others while we're here?  And, some would argue, does a genetic connection even matter that much anyway? Does our legacy lie in our descendants, in great achievements, or in small acts of kindness and connection with others?     

I can't deny some of these arguments. And I can't speak for others -- but I know that for me, learning more about my family history, and what my ancestors endured, to allow me to live the life I enjoy today (a pretty good one, all things considered...!) -- and especially learning about my childless relatives from the past -- has been both comforting and inspirational. Simply realizing just how many of them there are/have been has helped me to feel less alone as a childless person!  

Our family history and what we learn about it can be part of the legacy that we pass along to our other extended family members -- especially if we take steps to preserve and share the things we've learned. Family tends to be defined pretty narrowly these days -- we tend to focus on parents and grandparents, siblings and children -- but aunts, uncles and cousins also have roles to play too (if we're lucky enough to know them and spend time with them). Hearing my parents talk about their own extended family members and what they've learned from them gives me hope that perhaps someday our nephews and great-niblings will remember us and tell stories about us to their own kids in the same way.  

Michael & I will be exploring some of these themes in this webinar on Sept. 16th.  Come join us!  You can register here. (And if you can't watch live, the recording will be available on the WCW website later. You do not need to register in advance if you're just going to watch later on the website.)  

(I'll admit I'm a little nervous about "going public," after managing to (mostly) maintain my semi-anonymity here for almost 17 (!) years -- 23 years in the childless community generally!  It's possible that some family members and friends, who know nothing of my blog or other activities in the childless community, may see something about the webinar on social media and find their way here. But I think it's a worthwhile risk!) 

You can find my other genealogy-related posts here. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

Odds & ends

• Eric Topol at the Substack "Ground Truths" is a great source of science-based information about covid and other viruses (albeit sometimes the reading gets a little dense/technical...!).  His latest post, "The Indomitable Covid Virus" (subhead:  "How to respond without denialism or complacency") is worth a read. Have a look at the graph at the top. (Yikes -- no wonder I'm hearing about so many people with covid recently...!)  Some highlights of what he had to say (boldfaced emphasis mine):  

Fortunately, the rise in levels of the virus, still going up in all 4 major US regions (most recent CDC data below) has not been linked with as much severe Covid (absolute increase) as was seen in prior waves, but compared to last week there was a relative increase of 25% of deaths and 12% increase in emergency room visits due to Covid. No matter how you look at it, this is not a benign wave, folks.

Moreover, besides people getting sick from Covid, typically now from a recurrent bout (often 3rd or more), there will be more people developing Long Covid... less new cases of Long Covid but still a risk, especially in unvaccinated individuals...  

 

Added to problem of the virus‘s evolution and, as a result, is the blunting of our immune response, the big issue of waning immunity... The virus evolves and, at the same time, our immune response wanes. That’s not a good combination.

The other feature that promotes the virus is our complete let down of mitigation that we know (despite misinformation and disinformation) works. Few people are masking. Little has been done to improve air quality or ventilation. Indoor events are being held with big crowds, making believe that the virus has gone away. It hasn’t. It won’t....

Our best defense against Long Covid is not to get Covid. Our second best known defense is to be vaccinated. The better the vaccine, the less Long Covid risk.

• One of my high school friends recently posted on Facebook to wish her son/oldest child a happy birthday. His FORTIETH (40th) birthday. (!!!)  How are we (how am I) old enough to have kids who are 40 years old??!  (We graduated from high school 45 years ago in June!) 
• In a similar vein, my sister told me she's told her longtime best friend they need to plan an anniversary dinner in September. They've been friends since they met in Grade 7 -- both newcomers to town -- 50 (!!) years ago. There are marriages that don't last that long...!  
• World Childless Week 2024 this year is Sept. 16th through 22nd, and the deadline for submissions is midnight on Sunday, August 25th.  (I always have great intentions..!) This year's daily topics/themes are:  
• Our Stories (Monday, Sept. 16th) 
• Childless Person of Colour (Tuesday, Sept. 17th) 
• The Importance of Pets (Wednesday, Sept. 18th) 
• Childless Friend or Foe? (Thursday, Sept. 19th) 
• No Kids!  Do You Want Mine? (Friday, Sept. 20th) 
• We Are Worthy (Saturday, Sept. 21st) 
• Moving Forwards (Sunday, Sept. 22nd) 
• Aunties Day was two Sundays ago (July 28th).  I was in transit between Winnipeg and Toronto, so I kind of forgot about it  (as I often do...!).  But it's nice to have a special day to recognize aunties, and I wish it was better known & more widely celebrated. 
• From the July 9th edition of Stylist, a British magazine: "26 excellent books that explore life as a woman who doesn’t have children." (I've read 9 of the books listed, I think, and have several more in my TBR pile!) 
• Stylist also had two other articles on a topic of huge interest to many of us, I know. (The headlines read "childfree" but both childfree and childless women are included.)  Unfortunately, they seem to be behind a paywall. (Opening them in Pocket, which sometimes works for me as a paywall workaround, didn't work this time.)  Someone on a childless group I'm on posted screenshots of one of the articles -- 21 photos!  and it was interesting, albeit not exactly a smooth read...! If anyone knows a better way, let me know!  Anyway, for those of you who do subscribe, heads up!  The articles are: 
• “I don't want children... why do I feel so much pressure to make up for that?" (Blurb: “As a child-free woman, I feel so much pressure to make my life as big, exciting and impressive as possible to compensate for not having children. Where does that pressure come from? And how do I resist it?”) (Hint:  It has to do with pronatalism!) 
• “I feel like I need to justify my worth:  25 child-free women on the pressures they face." (Blurb:  "We asked 25 women to explore how the pressure to ‘make up’ for being child-free shows up for them, and how they navigate it.") 

I've been reading and saving a LOT of articles and posts about a certain U.S. vice-presidential candidate and his callous remarks about "childless cat ladies," and I'll be posting separately about that soon, with some relevant links (once I manage to go through them all and assemble them into a semi-coherent piece...!). :)