A few odds & ends

A couple of articles/posts to share: 

• Tracey Cleantis Dwyer -- formerly at "La Belette Rouge" (a blog which no longer exists) -- has returned to blogging via Substack!  Check out "The Next Happy Project." 
• I highly recommend Tracey's 2015 book "The Next Happy," which is all about letting go of the life you had planned -- something Tracey, who is childless after infertility, knows a lot about. 
• Disclosure:  I'm in the book. :)  I answered survey questions for Tracey as part of her research.  I also reviewed the book on my blog not long after it was published, here. 
• This Sunday, March 15th is "Mothering Sunday" in Britain, and The Full Stop community and podcast has published a post on Linked In with suggestions for "Navigating Mother's Day When You're Childless Not by Choice." (Also very applicable for Mother's Day in May, here in North America & elsewhere in the world.)  

Non-ALI/CNBC related:  

• It wasn't just our imaginations -- this winter really was as cold and snowy as it seemed, the Toronto Star confirms by looking at the historical weather data.  
• The time changed last weekend -- and it struck me that my mother was no longer here to complain about it (as she always, always did!).  Wherever she is now, I know it's a place where time is meaningless. Enjoy, Mom.  :)  
• This coming weekend (Sunday night) is the Oscars. 
• I used to follow the Oscar races like a hawk (I even won the office Oscar pool once!), and tried to see as many of the nominated movies as I could (the ones that interested me, anyway).  These days, I think I am only aware of "Hamnet" (with its ties to a well-known book and its grief/child loss theme -- not to mention Paul Mescal, lol), but not many of the other nominees.  
• Mel recently posted about "The Last Movie I Saw;" I think the last one I saw in-theatre was "1917" (which was very good, and one of those movies that really deserves to be seen in a theatre). The pandemic began not long after that and, well, you know the rest. We used to go to the movies, perhaps not every Sunday, but usually at least one Sunday a month. Many things have returned to some form of normalcy since then, but we still haven't been back to the theatre.  I am not sure how we got out of the habit, but we did.  I do miss it sometimes. 
• Nevertheless, I will be watching on Sunday.  :) 
• This will be my first Oscar night without my Mom. :(  She always watched, and when I was growing up, she would let me stay up late -- on a school night! -- to watch with her. I more recent years, I would always call her before the show started (even though she hadn't been to a movie theatre in years either). 
• I'm sure she will be watching from wherever she is now.  And I hope there's a bottomless bucket of popcorn, and that it doesn't bother her stomach, as it did in her later years (to the point that she had to stop eating it).  

Accumulated odds & ends

I haven't been that diligent about compiling notable stuff I've read lately, but for what it's worth, here are a few links!  (Some are a little dated, but no less readable!) 

• Have any of you seen the movie "Hamnet" yet, or read the book it's based on, by Maggie O'Farrell? I have done neither -- yet -- although I would like to partake of both. (For one thing, I think Paul Mescal is an amazing young actor.)  
• An online group of loss mothers that I belong to were debating whether to see it or not -- drawn to the themes of grief and loss of a child, and yet wondering whether it would hit a little too close to home? 
• I really appreciated the perspective offered in this post from Jennie Agg, who writes a Substack about pregnancy loss and grief called Life, Almost, about "Hamnet" the movie, and whether it's "grief porn" (as some are apparently describing it). 
• **NOTE: there are spoilers about the movie, including specific scenes and how they unfold. Also, Agg has a living child.**
• Excerpt: 

...for me, the film’s presentation of loss and grief is nuanced, considered, grounded in something true.

...What do we mean when we dismiss something as ‘grief porn’? I guess it’s implying something gratuitous, debasing, bordering on shameful.

Which is interesting when you consider the way many bereaved parents today often describe being made to feel, shamed into silence: it’s too much, we don’t need to hear it.

• Anne Helen Petersen (childfree by choice) -- whose Culture Study community has moved over from Substack to Patreon -- has been giving a lot of coverage to infertility and childless/free topics recently. A couple of highlights (I'm not sure whether some of these may be paywalled?):  
• A series of occasional posts titled "Big No-Kids Energy," about the joys of not having kids. 
• Here's the kickoff post where Anne explains what the series is about. 
• Anne has interviewed several childfree & childless people/couples for the series about their no-kids life. The most recent subject was Cathy, who is 60-something and childless not by choice, but making the most of things. She was a delight to read about. :)  
• A Culture Study podcast episode featuring a standup comedienne, about being a "childless freak" (!) that will have you nodding! The comment section is worth a read too.  :) 
• An earlier podcast episode (from back in early February) about "The Heartbreaking (and Largely Unregulated) Business of IVF."  A lot of what's discussed would not be surprising to many of us, but it might be an eye-opener for people not intimately acquainted with the fertility industry.  
• I made a comment that's received the most "likes." In part, I said: 
  

One point I will take exception to:  the comment that "IVF works! -- it's very effective."  IVF is still (almost 50 years after the first IVF baby was born) very much a crapshoot.  Your odds of success might be better if you're in your 20s or early 30s -- and/or if you have the money and stamina to endure multiple cycles -- but once you hit 40,  they drop like a stone. There are many of us out here who went through infertility treatments and did not wind up with a child. You just don't hear about us. Clinics certainly don't want to acknowledge our existence, and patients currently in treatment don't want to hear about us either. 

I would also add that most clinics are abysmal at providing emotional support & counselling to their patients going through treatment -- and even less is available for those of of us who aren't successful. Even a referral to an outside counsellor, or a pamphlet listing resources we might consult would be helpful.  Any support I got was entirely the result of my own research.  

• Carrie Hauskins, who is childless after pregnancy loss and infertility, writes at Blooming With Care about the matter of "Heirlooms for No One" -- dealing with things from a childless aunt, as well as wondering about her own stuff after she's gone (something I think about a lot, especially as my childfree sister & I go through the painful process of emptying out our parents' house...). Excerpt: 

I told her we weren’t having kids, and when she said I could pass down her things to my children, I didn’t correct her. She knew the truth. And she still gave me her things. If she didn’t want to believe that her lineage of items will end with me, that’s her problem to work through, not mine. She was aware that I’m a dead end in our family's genealogy. 

 

...Legacy used to mean what I would pass down to my children. Today, it means deciding what to do with the ring once I melt it down. It might not mean the same thing five years from now. But for today, I think of my kooky aunt and her curmudgeonly way of life. I might not inherit her moods, but I do love the quirky jewelry. I do plan on having an eccentric estate sale. One that people line up for early in the morning and wraps around the block. Would my aunt love that? Who knows? It’s my legacy.  

• Katie Dunn at Afterglow (childless after infertility) ponders a question that doesn't get enough attention --"IVF doesn't work for everyone. So when do you stop?" -- and explains her own process for making that difficult decision. 
• Katie Hawkins-Gaar at My Sweet Dumb Brain writes movingly about grief, nine years after her first husband's death:  "The Grief Math Changed This Year." 
• "Anyone Can Be an Auntie. It’s a State of Mind," proclaims a New York Times Magazine article by Maya L. Kapoor. 

Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

**Note:  This post is a LONG one, covering two months:  both December 2025 & January 2026.**

December was a busy month.  The cold I contracted at Little Great-Nephew #1's 6th birthday party in mid-November hung on for quite a while, and when I finally did start feeling semi-human again, I was WAY behind on getting ready for Christmas!  Then we headed "home" to my parents in Manitoba on Dec. 21st. My parents have needed more and more support in recent years, and my time is never my own anymore whenever I'm there. (It was more than a week after our arrival before I finally managed to get out my laptop and sit with it for a while, vs my phone, which I find impossible to type more than a sentence or two on at a time...)  I only had a few days before Christmas to finish my shopping, decorate the house (according to my mother's exact specifications), buy all the supplies we needed for Christmas Eve and Day dinners, make salads, etc.  My sister & her partner arrived from the city just before Christmas Eve and we all had a (mostly) nice couple of days together, until... 

January:  The new year did not begin well (to put it mildly):  my mother died suddenly on New Years's Day, just days before she would have turned 85.  :(   We extended our stay another two weeks, until Jan. 18th to deal with the funeral and its aftermath, and support my widowed father.  I turned 65 (and officially became a senior citizen!!) on Jan. 12th while still in Manitoba -- and my dad forgot it was my birthday. :(  (One of these years, I'll get that birthday-on-the-beach I've been fantasizing about...!)  Once we got back to Toronto, we were busy again, unpacking, doing laundry, cleaning, restocking the fridge and cupboards, taking down our own Christmas tree, etc.  

And now here we are, already in February...! (My LEAST favourite month!) 

Some of the things I/we did these past two months include: 

• Met with our financial advisor. (Dec. 1st)
• Made multiple trips/stops to the supermarket for groceries and takeout pizza slices and/or soup, as well as to the drugstore to pick up prescriptions and sundries. 
• Went walking and shopping at the local mall (Dec. 2nd -- first time since Nov. 11th, before I got sick! -- as well as Dec. 9th & 16th, and then Jan 20th & 27th). 
• Did some Christmas shopping and errand-running locally on a busy afternoon (Dec. 5th):  Michaels (photo frames, Christmas stuff), Carters/Oshkosh (presents for the kids), Chapters (ditto, plus some cards), supermarket and drugstore (dh picked up a prescription while I got some stamps for my Christmas cards at the Canada Post outlet). 
• Had shellac polish removed from my toes (the remnants of a late September pedicure), and a pedicure without new polish (Dec. 10th). 
• Drove out to the mall in our former community for haircuts, lunch & shopping (Dec. 12th & Jan. 23rd). 
• Stopped at the cemetery on our way there for a brief visit with Katie (both times).  
• Slipped in the bathtub and banged up the back of my left thigh, just above the knee (Dec. 14th). Noticed a big bruise on Wednesday, Dec. 17th. Fretted about it for the rest of the week, throughout my month in Manitoba, and then again following our flight back to Ontario on Jan. 18th...!  
• (Finally) Went to see our family doctor about it on Jan. 21st.  He agrees I banged it up pretty badly, but did not think the lingering aches & pains were the sign of a blood clot ( = what I was afraid of, especially after flying -- albeit just for 2-2.5 hours!).  He said it will probably need further time to resolve. (I was greatly relieved! -- and, oddly enough -- or maybe not?? -- my leg has felt a lot better since then!)
• Went to Staples for supplies and then to the bookstore for a browse and some gift cards. (Dec. 15th) 
• Consulted a local dermatologist about my rosacea (on the advice of my optometrist). Got two prescriptions, including one for a month's worth of doxycycline, and another for Rosiver cream (which I'll be using indefinitely). (Dec. 16th) 
• Stopped at the bank for some cash from the ABM (Dec. 17th). 
• Celebrated Little Great-Nephew #2's first birthday with the rest of the family at BIL's house (Dec. 20th). 
• Headed to Manitoba for Christmas (Dec. 21st). 
• Renewed my driver's license and health card and had a new photo taken (which will be used for both) at the local Service Ontario office on Jan. 19th, the day after we returned (and a week past my birthday -- which is when both cards expired -- erk!).  
• Took down our own Christmas tree -- on Jan. 21st! (erk!)  Definitely the latest we've ever done that!  
• Went to a local Italian restaurant for a belated birthday celebration (Jan. 23rd). (See "Eating," below.)  
• Spent some of my Christmas gift cards and used my birthday discount at the local bookstore (Jan. 28th).  :)  
• Headed up to Older Nephew's with BIL & SIL for lunch & some great-nephew (and dog!) spoiling. :) (Jan. 31st) 

While in Manitoba, we:  

• Played cards almost every night. My dad loves it and, as he said after Mom died, "It's something to do."  I think it helps keep his mind off things. 
• Also played TV bingo on Saturdays (and won!).  
• And did jigsaw puzzles, which Dad borrows from the local library. 
• Sister & I visited the library to return completed puzzles, get new ones and ensure Dad could continue using Mom's library card. (The librarians had already heard about Mom, and changed the card to his name. As I've said, gotta love small towns...!) 
• Made multiple trips to the local grocery store, as well as the drugstore, dollar store and ABM at the credit union, before and after Christmas. 
• Assembled and decorated the tree and the house to Mom's specifications (and then took everything down again after her birthday and funeral).  I've generally been the person in charge of decorating the tree (it's usually been up already by the time we got there), but I think this was the first tine I've taken it down since I spent a year living with Mom & Dad, 41 years ago!), 
• Helped Dad & my sister with Christmas dinners, including prepping and stuffing the turkey on Christmas morning, and doing cleanup, as well as other dinners later. (My mother stopped doing most of the cooking years ago, although she did make a salad for Christmas Eve dinner, and she & my sister made butter tarts together earlier in the month. She was still talking about making our traditional shortbread cookies after Christmas -- which, of course, never happened...)  
• I'm not sure what we'll be doing for Christmas 2026, but I'm already thinking I should set aside time to bake some of our traditional cookies. I did that for Christmas 2020 (during the pandemic), since I realized I wasn't going to get any otherwise...! 
• Made and fielded umpteen phone calls and visits to and from relatives, friends and neighbours after Mom died. 
• Planned & attended Mom's funeral, picked out her urn, delivered an outfit to the funeral home for her to wear on her final journey, wrote her obituary and posted details on social media. 
• Rebooked our flights home (originally scheduled for Jan. 4th; changed to Jan. 18th). 
• Visited a local lawyer with Dad & my sister to discuss Mom's will. 
• Began clearing out Mom's things from her closets, drawers, bathroom vanity, etc., and dropped some bags & boxes off at the local thrift shop. (My sister is continuing to work on this.)  
• Browsed through through some old letters, clippings, etc. that Mom's cousin's daughter brought with her from their hometown in Minnesota, as well as a box full that Dad produced from the garage!  Sorted them into piles according to sender and date (some written by my sister & me to our grandparents when we could barely print (!), some from my mom that I've saved for myself, some that I'll send to the writers' families). 

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 3 books in December and 1 in January (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2025 books" and "2026 books"   

• "The Blue Flower" by Penelope Fitzgerald -- a slow readalong with Footnotes and Tangents, which started Nov. 3rd and ended the week of Dec. 15th. (3-3.5 stars; my review.) 
• "How To Kill Your Family" by Bella Mackie (the January pick for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club). (4 stars;  my review.) 
• "The Impossible Fortune" by Richard Osman. (5 stars;  my review.)  
• "Ex-Wife" by Ursula Parrott (the February choice for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club). (3.5-4 stars, my review.) 

Current reads: 

• "You Are Here" by David Nicholls (the April selection for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club;  previously read in 2024 and reviewed here).  
• Crooked Adam by D.E. Stevenson, together with my DES fan group (after initially reading through it myself). I'll count it as a re-read when we finish, on or before Feb. 3 (2026). 96% completed (one chapter to go!). 
• "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's last summer, where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  
• "The Safekeep" by Yael Van der Wouden (March). (I read this one recently and will likely not revisit it, particularly since I'm not leading the discussion.)  
• (Books for May onwards to be determined...) 
• For my D.E. Stevenson group:  
• The Four Graces, likely beginning in mid-February 2026 (original 2015 review here). 

• Footnotes and Tangents slow readalongs for 2026 include:
• "Midnight’s Children" by Salman Rushdie (January–March):  I was debating whether to take part in this one. Needless to say, when it began in early January, I was otherwise preoccupied.  :(    Hoping to tackle at least a couple of the other slow reads planned for this year, including.... 
• "Regeneration" by Pat Barker (April–May)
• "The Inheritors" by William Golding (June)
• "Treacle Walker" by Alan Garner (July)
• "The Children’s Book" by A.S. Byatt (September–December)

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points):  (Not adding links this time around...!) 

• "Freedom" by Angela Merkel. 
• "Bone of the Bone" by Sarah Smarsh
• "Possession" by A.S. Byatt 
• "Elbows Up!  Canadian Voices of Resistance and Resilience" ed. by Elamin Abdelmahmoud
• "August Lane" by Regina Black 
• "Nesting" by Roisin O'Donnell 
• "Night People" by Mark Ronson 
• "Awake" by Jen Hatmaker
• "The Trouble With Fairy Tales" by Plum Johnson 
• "Bread of Angels" by Patti Smith 
• "Softly, As I Leave You" by Priscilla Presley & Mary Jane Ross 
• "We Breed Lions" by Rick Westhead 
• "The Smiling Land" by Alan Doyle 
• "John Candy" by Paul Myers 
• "Vagabond" by Tim Curry 
• "Book of Lives" by Margaret Atwood 
• "Sorry, Not Sorry" by Mark Critch 
• "Throwing Rocks at Houses" by Colleen Jones & Perry Lefko 
• "Future Boy" by Michael J. Fox & Nelle Fortenberry 
• "Paper Girl" by Beth Macy 

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Watching: 

• Figure skating: I watched some of NBC's coverage of the the Grand Prix final in Nagoya, Japan, on Dec. 7th;  some of the U.S. & Canadian national championships in early January, while at my parents' house, and the European championships later in the month.  
• I can't believe the Winter Olympics start soon...! 
• Lots of curling! My dad is a big fan, and dh likes to watch too. I don't mind;  I've never curled myself, but I spent a LOT of time watching my parents at the curling rink when I was growing up, and I was amazed at what I was able to pull from my memory to tell dh about the sport when they started including it in the Olympics some years ago!  (It beats watching football!  lol)  
• (As I wrote in this post) We watched "Wicked" at my sister's house in Winnipeg the night before we headed home to Toronto from spending Christmas (and the aftermath) with my family. I thought it was OK, but to be honest, it didn't thrill me. 
• "Finding Your Roots" -- a new season on PBS, Tuesday nights, which began in January. 

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: 
• Heardle 60s: 
• As of Dec. 31st:  73.6% (840/1141, ?? on first guess), down 0.1% from Nov. 30th. Max. streak: 20 (up by 5 since Nov. 30th!).
• As of Jan. 31st:  74.0% (855/1167, 340 on first guess), up 0.4% from Dec. 31st. Max streak:  20. 
• Heardle 70s: 
• As of Dec. 31st: 76.0% (670/882, ?? on first guess), down 0.3% from Nov. 30th. Max. streak: 18. 
• As of Jan. 31st:  75.9% (681/897, 378 on first guess), down 0.1% from Dec. 31st. Max streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s: 
• As of Dec. 31st: 41.6% (309/742, ?? on first guess), up 0.4% from from Nov. 30th. Max. streak: 5.
• As of Jan. 31st: 41.6% (315/757, 113 on first guess), unchanged from Dec. 31st. Max. streak: 5.
• Heardle 90s: 
• As of Dec. 31st:  33.9% (269/814, ?? on first guess), up 0.9% from Nov. 30th. Max. streak: 9 (up by 4 from Nov. 30th). 
• As of Jsn. 31st:  34.0% (292/858, 78 on first guess), up 0.1% from Dec. 31st. Max. streak: 9. 
• NYT Connections: 
• By Dec. 31st, I'd played 520 games and won 89% of them (1% more), including 276 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, including 16 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (3 more than in November).  Maximum winning streak: 45 (unchanged). Current streak: 33. 
• As of Jan. 31st, I had 535 completed games, won 89% of them, including 283 "perfect puzzles," including 16 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (unchanged from Dec. 31st). Maximum winning streak:  45 (unchanged).  Current streak:  12.  

Listening:  I mostly use Spotify to listen to podcasts -- but last fall, I found a couple of playlists that reflected my tastes and reminded me of the songs & artists I used to listen & dance to in my youth. As a result, for the first time, I wound up with one of those year-end "Wrapped" reports in early December. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find the entire thing again :p  but I did share the list of my top 5 artists on FB:  The Monks (their album "Bad Habits" became a cult classic when I was in university in the early 1980s -- but only in Canada, apparently, and Ontario especially), Joe Jackson, Squeeze, The Knack and Devo (lolol). My top genre was Power Pop, I listened for a grand total of 282 minutes, and my listening age is 62!  (You can read more about The Monks and "Bad Habits" here, here and here.) 

Following:  

Eating/Drinking:  

• Less-than-stellar bloodwork results in the cholesterol/lipid categories in mid-November (as mentioned in November's Right Now post, published in early December) left me certain that my family doctor was going to put me on (more) medication. But in a follow-up phone call on Dec. 3rd, he simply encouraged me to keep trying to get those numbers down, and said we'll retest in March. REPRIEVE!  lol  Was I relieved!! 
• (I may need to ask for a further reprieve, given that my stay in Manitoba was a little longer than I had anticipated -- and needless to say, diet was not the top of my mind...)  
• (To recap, we'd both had cholesterol numbers that were out of normal range back in fall 2024, but managed to wrestle them down by January 2025, by making a concerted effort to eat better and lose weight.  I will admit we've done a bit of backsliding on the diet front, albeit we are still eating better than we were in fall 2024.  We've both resolved to try to do better, again! in 2026.) 
• When I weighed myself mid-month (a few days after our return from Manitoba) for the first time since Dec. 19th, I was down 2 pounds! -- which was a pleasant surprise, given the fact that my diet was not exactly stellar while I was away. 
• On the other hand, I was more active than usual, doing things around the house -- including a lot of stairs...!
• I was down another 0.4 pounds the following week (this past Friday). 
• I ended January 2.8 pounds lighter than I was at the end of November. Overall, I'm down 14.2 pounds since late October 2024, and a little over 26 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight  (August 2021). 
• (Dh gained a few pounds over Christmas and is down not quite 20 pounds overall since fall 2024.)
• At my parents' house, we ate pretty well over the Christmas period (turkey and all the trimmings for Christmas dinner, with lots of leftovers stretching over the next few days, pork tenderloin another day, etc.) -- a little less so afterwards. There were butter tarts, but no shortbread cookies got made, although Parents' Neighbours' Daughter brought over a container of cookies, and we had several apple pies in the freezer, one of which we baked and had on New Year's Eve. 
• As I mentioned in this post, neighbours and friends brought over a lot of food after my mother died.  Not all of it was stuff I could eat because of my tomato allergy (hamburger soup, pasta dishes), but it all helped. A couple of things I remember:  
• We got a TON of buns -- many of them homemade. I think at one point we had something like 6 or 8 dozen buns in the house!  (My sister took some home and some went into the freezer.)  
• One of my dad's former coworkers brought over an entire home-cooked dinner one night -- a big chunk of excellent roast beef (from a cow from their own farm!), mashed potatos, really tasty gravy, veggies, two dozen homemade buns, and a dessert called Harvest Cake with thick caramel icing that was absolutely fabulous. The five of us (dad, me, dh, my sister & her partner) had it for dinner that night, and my sister took home leftovers that they had for dinner the next night -- but there was still enough for another full dinner for dh, Dad & me, as well as meat for sandwiches for lunch for a couple of days after that too.  
• A neighbour brought over an apple pie (warm from the oven) and homemade perogies (yum!).  
• One of Mom's good friends and a former coworker brought over two dozen buns, two packages of sliced deli meat (black forest ham and roast beef) and a package of two-bite mini-cupcakes (chocolate, Mom's favourite). 
• My parents get government-subsidized meals for seniors a couple of times a week -- and since my sister and I and our partners are all 55+, we can get them too whenever we're there.  They're available on weekdays -- eat in (at a local seniors residence), delivered or pick up. Dad prefers to pick up most days (gets him out of the house), but neighbours will pick up and deliver to him when it's cold & icy outside.  The meals are usually pretty tasty, nutritionally balanced and always include a protein (meat), starch (usually potatos or rice), veggies/salad, a bun and a dessert -- all for $7.50 (Canadian dollars).  Not bad!  They're ready for noon/lunch, but Dad prefers to refrigerate his and then heat it up in the microwave for supper. 
• We also had takeout a couple of times from local restaurants, including some really good chicken fingers, fries and coleslaw from one place, and a chicken caesar wrap with fries from another. 
• The chicken fingers come with honey dill sauce, a Manitoba specialty! -- albeit it's not something I grew up with;  it only became popular after I grew up and left the province. (One of these days, I'm going to bring a jar home with me! -- you can't find it in Ontario!) 
• Went to a favourite nearby Italian restaurant on Jan. 23rd for a belated 65th birthday dinner... I had a Caesar salad, orecchiette pasta with chopped sauteed rapini and crumbled sausage, and tiramisu for dessert.  (And a glass of white wine.) Yum!  (The portions were huge, so I took home leftovers for dinner the next day too!)  
• Older Nephew's Wife (who is an excellent cook!) made us a yummy orzo pasta with shrimp & cheese, airfryer chicken strips & potatos, and salad for lunch (Jan. 31st). 
• We also indulged in some of our usual takeout meals from the supermarket for lunch once or twice a week (pizza slices & soup), plus teriyaki rice bowls for occasional Saturday night dinners. We also indulged in Swiss Chalet's annual Festive Special before leaving for the holidays -- 1/4 rotisserie chicken with choice of sides, stuffing, cranberry sauce, bun-- and five Lindor chocolate truffles! lol.

Wearing: My collection of holiday-themed waffle-weave shirts from Old Navy, were brought to the forefront of the closet again during December, and I brought several of them with me to my parents' house for the holidays. Of course, I then wound up wearing them a whole lot more than I had anticipated, and well into mid-January, when we wound up staying longer than we had originally planned.  

I also wore my heavy winter coat and boots there, vs my lighter-weight (and shorter length) down jacket (and was glad I did!).

I hadn't brought anything with me to Manitoba to wear beyond jeans and yoga pants (now I know why the Royal Family always travels with a set of mourning clothes, just in case... although of course, they have servants to carry their luggage for them...!). Likewise, dh just had jeans and pajama pants.  We were considering an emergency shopping trip into the city to find something suitable to wear to Mom's funeral -- but then my sister dived into our mother's closet and found a pair of black twill pants for me. Size 12 (!) but they FIT!!  I had brought a nice grey sweater with me and I also wore that.  Dh wound up borrowing a pair of grey pants from Parents' Neighbours' Daughter's husband -- they fit perfectly too!  Thankfully, the small town/rural area where my parents live is pretty casual these days (I've seen people wearing jeans and even shorts at weddings there in recent years....!), and I don't think anyone would have faulted us even if we had worn jeans. 

Buying (besides books, lol):  Presents for both Christmas and Little Great-Nephew #2's pre-Christmas birthday. (Now I'm collecting things for their Valentine's Day goodie bags, as well as LGNiece's 3rd birthday, coming up in February.)  

Christmas gifts for my parents, sister & dh, as well as the three Little Princesses. 

Two lighter-weight sweaters with polo necks/collars from Old Navy (one black, one white) and a cropped henley sweatshirt from American Eagle, all on sale. 

A blouse and a sweater from Reitmans, using a Christmas gift card from dh and my birthday discount.  :)  

Noticing: The Rosiver cream prescribed by the dermatologist I saw in December appears to be more effective at dealing with rosacea than it was for covid.  ;)  (Look up the more popular name for it and you'll understand what I'm referring to! -- the "iv" in the name is a hint...!)  I have noticed an improvement in the redness and (minor) breakouts I was experiencing. Not perfect, but better.  Yay!  

Appreciating:  My parents' wonderful neighbours and friends, who brought tons of food over for us to eat after Mom died, and have been keeping Dad company (and keeping an eye out for him) since we returned home. 

Trying:  To get back to "normal" after a couple of pretty stressful months, including a full month away from home...!  And: to get at least one thing crossed off my lengthy to-do list that's piled up even further over the past month or two...!   

Hoping:  That this extreme cold spell ends soon.  (Brrrr!)  (Related:) Prioritizing:  Staying safe & warm. (It was the snowiest January on record in Toronto!). 

Wanting: A little more sunshine vs grey & gloom. (It IS clear and sunny today!) 

Wondering: How the rest of the year is going to unfold...

Anticipating: That this will be an expensive year...  :p  

• We still have another installment on the special assessment levied by our condo corporation to cover repairs to the roof as well as the parking garage -- and a new boiler has been ordered, since one of the two we use went kaput over the Christmas holidays, creating hot water shortages (!).  
• The master bathroom shower needs another look from a plumber (as detailed here.) (We've been showering in the other bathroom/tub in the meantime.)  
• We'll likely be back & forth to Manitoba a few more times than usual this year, for obvious reasons. (Flying within Canada is not cheap, and neither is driving -- and we certainly won't be driving until the weather improves...!)  
• My sister & I split the cost of Mom's funeral between us -- and there's still a plot or niche to buy and the interment of Mom's ashes to organize.  
• My heavy/warmest winter coat (which I mostly wear in Manitoba) is almost 20 years old and showing some signs of wear, and so is probably due for replacement soon. (Maybe next fall...) 
• I am going to need new glasses sooner vs later, and likely both regular and reading/computer glasses, since both are more than 10 years old and horribly scratched up. (Just waiting to see if I'm going to need more eye surgery, after I my opthomologist appointment in April -- backstory here.) 
• And... the springs on the door of our dishwasher have both snapped (first one, last year, then the other, this weekend -- made a horrible BANG that scared the crap out of us...!).  It still works (no leaks, we've checked!), but you have to lower the door VERY SLOWLY and not let it just drop, because it weighs a ton! -- and it came off one of the hinges this morning (we were able to rehinge the door and close it again, whew!).  Debating whether it's worth fixing vs just buying a new dishwasher. It was installed when the building was new (about a year before we bought this unit = about 11-12 years old), and the racks are also showing some signs of wear, although it's still cleaning the dishes well. (Knocking wood...!)
• (Any recommendations on dishwashers?  This one is a GE Profile, 23.5" door -- probably 24" wide total, including the frame, etc. We always had Kenmores at the house, but Sears Canada, where we bought them, is no more. The less noisy the better, since our kitchen/dining/living area is relatively small.)  

Enjoying:  Sleeping in my own bed again!  

Loving:  The big box of Lindor milk chocolates I got with my stocking on Christmas morning.  ;)  I've been limiting myself to one per day (there can't be THAT much cholesterol in one chocolate, can there??).  

                           

Feeling: Stunned by my mother's sudden death. (I know, she WAS almost 85, and I was lucky to have her for as long as I did, but..!). Sad (and guilty) to leave my 86-year-old dad by himself. Relieved that my sister is not that far away, and will be spending more time with him over the next while. (Nevertheless)  Glad to be home again. Also:  Disbelieving that I could actually be 65 years old (!!).  And: (partly) glad that my proudly Minnesota-born mother is not around to see what has happened there over the past month. She would have been heartbroken.  :(  

#MicroblogMondays: A few odds & ends, after holidays & loss

• 
  We are home... four weeks/one month after we left, and two weeks later than we'd originally planned. 
• I still have to (mostly) unpack. 
• There are 20 gazillion things on my to-do list.
• I am exhausted. 
• The original plan was for my sister and her partner to come out from the city on Friday night, and for her & me to spend Saturday clearing our our mother's drawers and at least some of her closets, then head into the city on Sunday morning before our early afternoon flight back to Toronto.  
• Those plans were somewhat derailed when high winds and blowing snow reduced visibility to nil in many areas of southern Manitoba and closed several highways leading to & from the city, including both routes to the small town where my dad lives. (What can I say? -- it's winter -- in Manitoba... snow happens, lol.)  
• Saturday was much better, and they arrived late that morning -- BUT, the forecast called for more blowing snow overnight, into Sunday morning, including blizzard conditions in some rural areas. (Not to mention extreme wind chill values that could lead to frostbite within minutes, if stranded.)  
• So we decided that we'd head back into the city after supper, spend the night at my sister's house, and she'd take us to the airport the next morning. (Dh frets about getting to the airport in plenty of time, even in the best weather conditions, so he was much relieved.)  
• Our plans to do some closet cleaning went by the wayside as we wrapped up some loose ends, packed, ran a few errands for Dad and rounded up some dinner. 
• It was very hard to leave our newly widowed 86-year-old dad alone for the first time since Mom died (barring a few times when we'd been out briefly, shopping and running errands).  :(  His neighbour was coming over that evening after we left to watch the hockey game with him, thank goodness. Knowing he has great neighbours who will look out for him and help him out made it a little easier to go.  My sister will be taking some long weekends and working remotely from time to time over the next while as well, so that she can spend time with him (and time working on the big house clearout...!). And I promised him we'd be back in the spring to help;  sooner, if needed.   
• We watched "Wicked" that night at my sister's house before heading to bed, exhausted.  Dh actually did go to bed before it was over -- he was exhausted (and later confessed to me that he was bored stiff by it).  I thought it was OK -- Ariana Grande & Cynthia Erivo can certainly sing! -- but it didn't thrill me. (I've never seen the play.)(Perhaps the movie played better on the big screen??)  Your mileage may vary, of course...! 
• The roads in the city were far worse than the highways outside had been. At the airport on Sunday morning, the visibility was so poor we could hardly see the airplanes parked at the gates!  But things were running relatively on time, and visibility began to improve while we sat in the waiting area.  Our flight touched down in Toronto just six minutes later than scheduled!  
• In the waiting area outside our gate at the airport, they made the standard request to have a piece of government-issued photo ID ready, along with your boarding pass. Unusually this time, they emphasized that it must be a valid piece of ID.  (I don't remember them saying that before.)  
• "Uh oh," I said to dh, as it dawned on me: my driver's license and health card had expired on Jan. 12th (my birthday) while we were still in Manitoba. I've always just used my driver's license as photo ID when travelling within Canada, and had not brought our passports with us (which are only required when travelling to the U.S. and other destinations outside the country). 
• I could not just renew and pay my fee online, because it's been 10 years since my last photo was taken, and I was required to have a new one taken at a Service Ontario office. (The same photo is used on my Ontario health card, which also expired on my birthday.)  
• I had received a reminder to renew about a month before my birthday, but of course we were busy with pre-Christmas stuff (and behind schedule after recuperating from the nasty cold I'd had in late November/early December), and I assumed I'd have time (a full week!)  to renew when I returned home. (The best-laid plans...!)  
• I called Service Ontario (would I have to do a road test again??), and they'd assured me that I could simply show up at one of their offices once I was back in Ontario, pay my fee and have a new photo taken.  BUT, until then, my license/health card would be invalid, 
• Sure enough, when I presented my boarding pass and driver's license at the gate, the flight attendant did a slight double-take as he scrutinized my card. "Your license expired on January 12th," he pointed out. I explained that we'd originally been booked to return on Jan. 4th, but had to rebook and extend our stay because of a death in the family. He beckoned dh (who'd already been cleared to board) back and looked at HIS ID, and then looked at my profile on his screen. "You arrived here on Dec. 21st?"  he asked me and I said yes. He made a few more clicks and then said, "Okay," handed me back my ID, and turned to the next person in line. Whew!  
• (Moral of the story: renew your ID as soon as possible, even if it's not a convenient time and you think you will have plenty of time later before the deadline...!) 

• Here at our condo, one of the building's two hot water boilers is on the fritz. A part has been ordered, but until it's fixed, the property manager is asking residents to conserve hot water and try to use it during off-peak hours. Oh dear...! 
• The Christmas tree and other decorations are still up. I have the tree lights plugged in today (because, why not??).  We will take it down later this week, before we clean. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

November was grey & chilly, and went by in a blur. The first half of the month was a build-up to Little Great-Nephew #1's birthday party. After that, I was ready to launch full speed ahead into holiday season preparations -- and then I came down with the nastiest cold I've had in a while (since last December, anyway...! -- see this post!). Bah humbug. :(  I like to think I no longer hate November, as I once did when I was still working -- but it's clearly still not my favourite month!  

This month, we: 

• Got our annual flu & covid shots (at the same time)(Nov. 1st). 
• Went with dh to the supermarket for groceries and takeout soup or pizza slices for lunch (Nov. 3rd, 10th & 17th). 
• Mourned the sudden loss of my 65-year-old cousin. (Nov. 3rd) 
• Headed to the local mall for walking & shopping (Nov. 4th & 11th). 
• Stopped at the drugstore en route home to pick up a prescription, and at the supermarket for takeout soup for lunch (Nov. 4th). 
• Stopped at the bank ABM for cash, and at the supermarket for takeout pizza slices for lunch, en route home (Nov. 11th). 
• Drove with dh into midtown Toronto to check in (again!) with my optometrist, Nov. 5th.   
• Stopped en route home for takeout soup for lunch from the supermarket. 
• Drove out to the mall in our old community for haircuts, lunch & shopping (Nov. 7th). Stopped at the cemetery on our way there (swapped out the Halloween decorations on Katie's niche for Christmas ones), and at M&M Foods for a few things on the way home.  
• Stayed cozy inside during the season's first snowfall, all day Sunday, Nov. 9th (!). 
• Went to a local imaging clinic on Nov. 10th for bone mineral density scans. Both I AND dh had them done!  I'd had one done previously, about 10 years ago;  this was dh's first. 
• Drove 30-45 minutes north to meet up for coffee with a childless friend I first met online, who was driving about the same distance south!  We picked the coffee shop within a local bookstore, so that dh (my chauffeur, lol)  could browse there while we chatted.  : )  
• Stopped at the drugstore en route home to pick up a prescription. 
• Attended Little Great-Nephew #1's 6th (!!!) birthday party (Nov. 15th), at a retro video arcade about an hour north of where we live (in a small town not too far from where Older Nephew & family live). Picked up BIL & SIL and drove up together; headed back to Older Nephew's house afterward to open presents. Chaotic but fun. 
• Stopped at the supermarket en route home for takeout.   
• Went to the nearby lab for bloodwork (ordered by our family doctor), after fasting for 12 hours -- then drove straight to our favourite breakfast spot for omelettes & home fries!  ;)  (Nov. 18th) 
• Got sick for the rest of the week (and then some...!). :( 
• Put up the Christmas tree!  :) (Nov. 29th) 

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 2 books in November (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2025 books"). 

• Crooked Adam by D.E. Stevenson -- an initial readthrough before a group read/discussion with my DES fan group. (3 stars;  my review.) 
• "I Am Half Sick of Shadows" by Alan Bradley, the December choice for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club. (4 stars; my review.) 

This brings me to 35 books read in 2025 to date, 78% of my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 5 books behind pace to meet my goal.  :) 

Current reads: 

• Crooked Adam by D.E. Stevenson, together with my DES fan group (after initially reading through it myself). I'll count it as a re-read when we finish, on or before Feb. 3 (2026). 37% completed. 
• "The Blue Flower" by Penelope Fitzgerald -- a slow readalong with Footnotes and Tangents, which started Nov. 3rd and runs for 7 weeks, through the week of Dec. 15th. I am currently behind schedule, with 33% read. :p  
• "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's, where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  
• "How To Kill Your Family" by Bella Mackie (January)
• "Ex-Wife" by Ursula Parrott (February) 
• "The Safekeep" by Yael Van der Wouden (March) 
• "You Are Here" by David Nicholl (April) 
• For my D.E. Stevenson group:  
• The Four Graces, likely beginning in mid-February 2026 (original 2015 review here). 

• Footnotes and Tangents slow readalongs for 2026 include:
• "Midnight’s Children" by Salman Rushdie (January–March) 
• "Regeneration" by Pat Barker (April–May)
• "The Inheritors" by William Golding (June)
• "Treacle Walker" by Alan Garner (July)
• "The Children’s Book" by A.S. Byatt (September–December)

(Not sure I will be doing all of these?  "War & Peace" and Hilary Mantel's Cromwell Trilogy will also be available again to paying subscribers who are interested! I did both in 2024, and highly recommend the experience!) 

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points):  

• "The Bully Pulpit" by Doris Kearns Goodwin 
• "A Truce That is Not a Peace" by Miriam Toews 
• "The Impossible Thing" by Belinda Bauer 
• "Girl on Girl" by Sophie Gilbert 
• "At a Loss for Words" by Carol Off 
• "For the Love of a Son" by Scott Oake 
• "Erasing History" by Jason Stanley 
• "What We Can Know" by Ian McEwan
• "Endling" by Maria Reva
• "Flesh" by David Szalay
• "Softly, As I Leave You" by Priscilla Presley 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** 

Watching: 

• The World Series!! Game 7 on Saturday night, Nov. 1st -- our Toronto Blue Jays vs the Los Angeles Dodgers, here at home in Toronto. Alas, the Jays came within two outs of winning the game and the series, but lost to the Dodgers, 5-4, in 11 innings. Some called it the best/most exciting game/World Series of baseball ever played.  
• Figure skating: I watched parts (if not all) of most of the Grand Prix events this month on TV and/or livestream, including Skate Canada in Saskatoon (ended Nov. 1st); NHK in Osaka, Japan (Nov. 7-9);  Skate America in Lake Placid, New York (Nov. 14-16); and the Finlandia Trophy in Helsinki, Finland (Nov. 21-23). 
• The final is coming up in Nagoya, Japan (Dec. 5-8). 
• (Parts of) Grey Cup 2025 on Sunday, Nov. 16th in my "home city" of Winnipeg (and the CFL Western division final in Regina on Nov. 8th). Grey Cup is like the Super Bowl of the Canadian Football League -- but much older, and (dare I say) better.  ;)    
• This year's edition featured the Saskatchewan Roughriders, who defeated the Montreal Alouettes.
• Despite feeling sick the entire week, I managed to stay awake long enough every night to watch Ken Burns's six-part opus about "The American Revolution" on PBS. (I promptly headed off to bed as soon as it was over!) He's certainly a master of storytelling. 
• It's sad to think we'll likely see less of his work in the future because of the American government's defunding of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. 
• I also stayed awake to watch "The Great Escaper" on PBS last Sunday night, starring Michael Caine as a 90-year-old WWII veteran who slips away from his retirement home and makes his way to France for the 70th anniversary of D-Day in 2014, encouraged by his wife (Glenda Jackson, in her final film role before she died).  It's based on a true story that I remember reading about at the time and thinking, "This would make a great movie!" and they did a wonderful job. :)  

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: Stats as of Nov. 30th: 
• Heardle 60s: 73.7% (829/1113, 327 on first guess), up 0.1% from last month. Max. streak: 15.
• Heardle 70s: 76.3% (651/853, 368 on first guess), same as last month. Max. streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s: 41.2% (295/716, 107 on first guess), up 0.5% from from last month. Max. streak: 5.
• Heardle 90s: 33.0% (269/814, 72 on first guess), up 0.4% from last month. Max. streak: 5. 
• NYT Connections: 
• By Oct. 31st, I'd completed 459 games and won 88% of them, including 241 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, including 12 where I got the most difficult/purple category first.  Maximum winning streak: 45 (unchanged). Current streak: 16. 
• As of Nov. 30th, I'd played 489 games and won 88% of them, including 257 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, including 13 where I got the most difficult/purple category first.  Maximum winning streak: 45 (unchanged). Current streak: 2. 

Listening:  Turned on Stingray's holiday music channel while we were decorating our tree this weekend.  :)  I love Christmas music (just not too early...!).  

Following:  

Eating/Drinking:  

• Unfortunately! -- after valiantly trying to eat better, lose weight and maintain the lower cholesterol levels we achieved last January (2025) (after less-than-stellar bloodwork results in fall 2024 earned us both serious chats with our family doctor), we both registered higher-than-acceptable cholesterol numbers again on our most recent bloodwork. :(  I have a phone appointment on Dec. 3rd  to discuss the results with him, and I am bracing myself for yet another prescription in my future. Sigh...  :(  
• I ended the month exactly the same weight as when it (eyeroll, boo, hiss...). Overall, I'm down 11+ pounds since this time last year (dh has lost about 22), and a little over 23 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight a few years ago. (It ain't hay... but I guess it wasn't enough to keep my cholesterol levels at bay... :(  ) 
• We also indulged in some of our usual takeout meals for lunch once or twice a week (pizza slices, soup), plus Saturday night dinners, including teriyaki rice bowls from the supermarket, and Swiss Chalet's annual Festive Special (1/4 rotisserie chicken with choice of sides, stuffing, cranberry sauce, bun-- and five Lindor chocolate truffles! lol).

Wearing: My collection of holiday-themed waffle-weave shirts from Old Navy, brought to the forefront of the closet again.  :)  

Buying (besides books, lol):  Christmas presents!  Also presents for both Little Great-Nephews' birthdays (LGN#1's was in mid-November, LGN#2's is coming up just before Christmas). This was mostly during the first half of the month, as I've been sick since then...! 

Noticing: How early it gets dark now (definitely before 5 PM).  :( 

Appreciating:  The extra light the Christmas tree gives off! 

Wanting/Hoping:  To be rid of this cold, sooner vs later...! 

Trying: To get to bed earlier while I haven't been feeling well. 

Wondering: Whether the cold was actually covid?? I tested negative, but the fact that we ALL got sick all at once, and the way it's been hanging on, makes me wonder... 

Prioritizing: Getting my Christmas cards & (most of) my Christmas shopping done before we head west for Christmas, later in December. 

Anticipating: Another prescription in my near future (re: my elevated cholesterol levels).  :(  

Enjoying:  The lull in the news, notifications, numbers of emails in my inbox, etc., over the past few days, as the U.S recovers from its turkey coma!  lol  

Loving:  While I do NOT love November, I have much warmer feelings towards December!  lol  Love the Christmas lights, music, and festive spirit I am already seeing! 

                           

Feeling: Not 100%, physically, but hoping for a better December!  Looking forward to Little Great-Nephew #2's first birthday and then to heading west to spend Christmas with my family! ❤