Right now

Right now...* 

*(an occasional (mostly monthly) meme, alternating from time to time with "The Current"). (Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first "The Current" post, here.)

February was (like January) grey, chilly -- and snowy. The first week of February hadn't even ended, and dh & I were admitting to each other that we'd already had enough of winter!  Mother Nature, of course, always gets the last laugh.  We had about 60 cm of snow -- about 2 feet! -- in the space of one week, mid-month -- more than we had all of last winter, and the most we've had in several years!  It's taken forever to get everyone dug out -- and we've had more snow since then too!    

It was also a pretty dark month, in terms of current North American & world events.  :(  

Pandemic diary/update: February was month #59 (marking almost FIVE full years, going on SIX!) since the covid pandemic began in March 2020. :(   We (still!) remain covid-free (so far as we know... knocking wood, loudly...).  We still mask in stores, malls and (most) other such indoor public spaces hereabouts, especially if/when there are lots of people around. (Well, I do -- I know dh does not, when I'm not around to hand him a mask...!)  

Among other things we did this month, we: 

• (I) Appeared on the Full Stop podcast (along with the lovely Sandra McNicol) to talk about pregnancy loss & childlessness!  (The episode was actually recorded in late January, but I didn't want to post about it here until it was "live" -- which was on Feb. 2nd.)  
• Went to the nearby mall to do some walking and shopping (then returned home for lunch) on Feb. 4th, 11th, 18th & 25th. 
• Made a trip to the bookstore (mostly to shop for Valentine stuff for the great-niblings, as well as some cards), with a stop at the drugstore en route home (Feb. 6th). 
• Picked up SIL & drove up to see Older Nephew & family for the afternoon, including the baby (Feb. 9th). (BIL was in NYC with friends to watch the Super Bowl!)  
• Stopped at Canadian Tire for a few things (it's more than just tires!) en route home from the mall, and then at the drugstore to pick up dh's prescriptions (Feb. 11th). 
• Went out for brunch on Valentine's Day (Feb. 14th -- first meal in a restaurant with just the two of us in quite a while! -- see "Eating," below), followed by a stop at the bank, a browse at the bookstore, and a stop at the supermarket (which -- Friday, Valentine's Day, long weekend, etc. -- was an absolute NUTHOUSE!).   
• Stopped at the supermarket to pick up a few groceries and some takeout soup for lunch, en route home from the mall (Feb. 18th & 25th). 
• Went to BIL's on Saturday, Feb. 22nd:  Older Nephew & his wife were going out for an early dinner & asked his parents if they'd look after the kids -- and they called us to come over. Enjoyed spending time with both Little Great-Nephews! (I even got to hold LGN #2 for almost an hour!)  
• Went to a nearby community centre to vote in the Ontario provincial election on Feb. 27th, and then to the supermarket to pick up some takeout soup for lunch.  

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 4 books in February (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2025 books"):  

• "The Mad Woman's Ball" by Victoria Mas -- the March book for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club. (3-3.5 stars; my review.) 
• "The Mermaid of Black Conch" by Monique Roffey, the April selection for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club. (4 -4.5 stars; my review.) 
• "Intermezzo" by Sally Rooney, the current book for the Culture Study (Europe) online book club. (The story of how I came to join yet ANOTHER book club is included in my review, here. 4 stars.)  
• "The Wedding People" by Alison Espach. (4-4.5 stars; my review.) 

This brings me to 7 books read in 2025 to date, 16% of my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) on track to meet my goal.  :) 

Current reads: 

• "The Siege of Krishnapur" by J. G. Farrell -- the first new Footnotes and Tangents slow readalong for 2025, which started Jan. 13th, for 9 weeks, ending in March. Currently 75% completed. 
• "Peter West" by D.E. Stevenson -- the one DES book my group has NOT read together, in its 25+ years of existence! I read this in advance of our group read, which began Jan. 13th and runs through late March. Currently 70% completed. I'll count this one as a re-read when we're done. (2-2.5 stars; my review.)  
• "Anne of Windy Poplars" by L.M. Montgomery (called "Anne of Windy Willows" in the U.K., with some text variations). My L.M. Montgomery Readathon Facebook group started reading & discussing this book together today (Jan. 6th). This will be our last book with our wonderful administrator of the past five (!) years, Andrea, who is moving on to other projects. I just (re)read this one right at this time last year, so I chose not to read it through (again) on my own first (as I normally would), but I will count this one as a re-read when we're done. (My previous review here.) Currently 39% completed. 
• "Living the Life Unexpected" by Jody Day.  I'm once again taking part in a chapter-by-chapter group read of this CNBC classic!  The most recent Zoom meeting covered Chapter 7.  This is the 5th (!) time I've read this book, or the earlier version of it ("Rocking the Life Unexpected").  (Most recent review, with links to earlier reviews, here.)  
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  Books for May and onward to be determined. 
• For my D.E. Stevenson group:  This list of upcoming books should keep us busy through 2025 or even into early 2026!  (A couple of the books are ones we covered shortly after I first joined the group back in 2014 -- you know you've been around for a while when....!)  
• Miss Buncle Married (original 2015 review here). Starting in March/April. 
• The Two Mrs. Abbotts (original 2015 review here).
• Crooked Adam
• The Four Graces (original 2015 review here). 

• Footnotes and Tangents slow readalongs planned for 2025 include:
• "A Place of Greater Safety" by Hilary Mantel -- starts May 5th, for 20 weeks. 
• "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe -- starts Sept. 29th, for 5 weeks. 
• "The Blue Flower" by Penelope Fitzgerald -- starts Nov. 3rd, for 7 weeks. 

(Simon is a big fan of the late great Hilary Mantel, and the other books he's selected were all ones that she loved, so he figured they would probably be worth reading!) 

• Culture Study (Europe): next book TBA. 

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points):  

• "The Right Kind of White" by Garrett Bucks 
• "The Frozen River" by Ariel Lawhon 
• "Brothers" by Alex Van Halen 
• "A Nation Worth Ranting About" by Rick Mercer 
• "Saturday Night" by Doug Hill & Jeff Weingrad 
• "Who Could Ever Love You" by Mary L. Trump 

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Watching: 

• Way too much CNN and CBC News Network!!  :p  (Trying to pare back, for the sake of my mental health...!) 
• A new season of "Finding Your Roots" on PBS. 
• Figure skating: Bits of the European and Four Continents championships. (Worlds coming up in March!)  
• A Ken Burns two-part documentary about Thomas Jefferson on PBS, first shown in 1997 but recently digitally restored. 
• The "Saturday Night Live" 50th anniversary special on Feb. 16th (all 3.5 hours of it!!), which I wrote about here.  (Also the SNL music documentary produced by Questlove,  which was shown on TV in late January.) 
• The Oscar-nominated movie "Conclave," starring Ralph Fiennes & Stanley Tucci, on Amazon Prime, while at BIL's on Feb. 22nd (waiting for the kids to arrive!). Excellent performances all round -- and the setting!!  

Not watching: The Canada/US matchups at the Four Nations Cup (a new international all-stars tournament) -- and especially the final game on Feb. 20th, which went into overtime (!). Given the current political environment, this game had huge emotional significance for my country (even more so than a hockey championship game usually does -- which is always a lot! lol), with national pride on the line. 

I couldn't watch -- just too much tension and anxiety -- but when my phone started dinging with notifications, I knew the game was over. Canada won! and dh & I rushed over to the TV set to see who had scored the winning goal -- or, as I said to him, "Who was Paul Henderson this time??"  (Answer:  Connor McDavid!)  (And if you don't get the Paul Henderson reference, Google "Canada Russia Summit Series 1972" -- he's responsible for one of the greatest moments in Canadian sports history.)  

Listening: 

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: Stats as of Feb. 28th: 
• Heardle 60s: 76.3% (650/852, 253 on first guess), down 0.4% from last month. Max. streak: 15.
• Heardle 70s: 77.8% (459/590, 258 on first guess), up 0.2% from last month. Max. streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s: 38.7% (170/463, 67 on first guess), down 0.9% from last month. Max. streak: 4. 
• Heardle 90s: 29.7% (168/566, 34 on first guess), up 0.4% from last month. Max. streak: 5. 
• NYT Connections:  
• By Jan. 31st, I'd completed 187 games and won 80% of them, including 107 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors. I increased my maximum winning streak from 15 to 21 (and counting!).  :)   
• By Feb. 28th, I'd completed 215 games and won 81% of them, including 78 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors. I maintained my maximum winning streak of 15.  :) 

Following:  

Eating/Drinking:  

• Late in January, we achieved our goal of lowering our cholesterol levels after less-than-stellar bloodwork last fall earned us both serious chats with our doctor. (We'll be doing more bloodwork later in the year to check again.)  Since then, we've continued our efforts to eat healthier -- reduce our portion sizes, cut back on fatty & processed foods (fewer casseroles, more chicken and beans/lentils), eat more fruits, vegetables and fibre, snack less (and make better snacking choices), and be at least a little more active. 
• Since then, I've yo-yo'd a bit, but ended the month another 1.2 pounds lighter.  I'm down more than 9 pounds since our chat with the doctor last October, and 21.6 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight a few years ago. 
• We went out for brunch on Valentine's Day -- less crowded and a whole lot cheaper than going out for dinner! We don't eat out too often these days, so this was a treat! (We both had omelettes -- a western for him, ham & cheese for me -- and the waitress brought us a complimentary mini-pancake shaped like a heart, warm off the griddle, dusted with icing sugar and a couple of cinnamon hearts).  
• Some notable recent takeout meals: a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket (with baked potatos & veggies, made at home) -- lots of leftovers for another dinner plus sandwiches!; soup and pizza slices from the supermarket takeout counter.

Wearing:  Same as last month:  Long-sleeved tops (and sometimes a cardigan over that), yoga pants, socks AND slippers, inside the house.  

Buying (besides books, lol):  

• More Canadian products (as are many of my fellow citizens), in light of the threats a certain U.S. politician (cough!) has been making against my country recently.  :(  
• Valentine and Easter goodies (already collecting those!) for the great-niblings, as well as birthday presents for Little Great-Niece.  :)  
• A couple of sweaters at AE, on sale.  
• Some more masks from a supplier than Turia recommended to me during the pandemic, during a recent sale. (I particularly like these ones.) 

Enjoying:  Reading more books again this month (and some really good ones too)! 

Appreciating:  My country, now more than ever.  :)  

Trying: To reconcile myself to another 4-5 years of our provincial government, which won (another) majority in our recent election. (Sigh.)  

Noticing:  Although there was a provincial election campaign going on, there were barely any signs on people's lawns or street corners (maybe because there was so much snow??). I saw a few posts on social media from people who noticed the same. Some people were complaining they hadn't received their voting cards in the mail before election day (although you don't actually need them to vote;  you just bring ID to the polls), and others said they hadn't had anyone knock on their doors.  I'm not sure if it was the weather or the snap election/tight timeframe or...?? 

Turnout was, sadly, abysmal. :(   

Prioritizing: Buying Canadian, wherever & whenever possible. (See "Buying," above.) (Although the tariffs Trump seems determined to slap on us aren't slated to kick in until March 4th now.)  

Wondering:  If & when my to-do list is ever going to get shorter...! 

Wanting:  Someone to tell me it's all going to be okay. (Unfortunately, I know nobody can truthfully tell me that.)  

Loving:  Seeing the weekly photos that Older Nephew's wife has been posting of Little Great-Nephew #2 every Friday. (He just turned 10 weeks old yesterday!)  Always a day brightener!  :)  

Feeling: Like winter is never going to end...!  Apprehensive about the state of the world right now. :(  (Very!) Happy that we're going to see the nephews and their families this weekend for Little Great-Niece's birthday party.  :)  

#MicroblogMondays: What's saving my life right now?

Every year, Modern Mrs. Darcy asks her readers "What's saving your life right now?"  (Or at least keeping your head above water?)  

It was a very timely prompt -- if you've read some of my recent posts, you'll know the winter has been getting to me...!  Without looking at previous years' posts, here are a couple of things I could think of:   

• Spending time with our great-nephew & great niece.  :)  Admittedly, it doesn't happen often these days, now that Little Great-Nephew is going to school -- but such a day-brightener when it does!   
• ...and shopping for them. I had lots of fun assembling Valentine's Day goodie bags for them recently (still have to get Little Great-Nephew's to him...), and I've started collecting things for Easter too (bunny ear headbands, anyone??  lol), as well as for Little Great-Niece's upcoming FIRST birthday! (Yikes! -- already??)  (And the fact that I can do these things with only a few grief-y twinges shows how far I've come!)  
• Getting out of the house once in a while. The pandemic really threw a monkey wrench into our usual routines outside of the house. We're still pretty cautious and try to avoid crowds (which we did even before the pandemic, lol) -- but we've realized there's no reason why we can't go out shopping or to the mall, etc., so long as we're masked -- and so we have been doing that a little more frequently lately.  I think we could even eat out once in a while too, although admittedly I'd feel more comfortable doing that on a patio in good weather, or during off-times when there will be fewer people.  We haven't really done much of that yet (aside from a few early lunches in the food court at the mall), but maybe when the nicer weather comes... 
• Snow!  (Believe it or not! lol)  We've had very little snow this winter -- or other recent winters -- which is unsettling and upsetting in some ways. Who knew we'd be missing winter, right?  :(  There have been several articles recently about how the consistently warmer temperatures in recent years have been affecting traditional Canadian winter activities -- skating on backyard rinks and the Rideau Canal, skiing, tobogganing, etc. (not to mention moisture levels in the soil, which is critical for the success of crops during growing season) -- how winters are so different today than when we were children, and what's it going to be like for our own kids and grandkids (and nieces and nephews and greats)?  There's been a real sense of grief & loss. So seeing snowflakes in the air and snow covering the ground feels both special and right and NORMAL (even when it disappears a few days later).  (Admittedly, not everyone feels this way...  and it's easier to welcome some snow when you're retired and living in a condo -- i.e., you don't have to shovel it or commute through it to work!  lol) 
• Blue skies & sunshine.  It's been mostly grey & gloomy outside, which has not been great for my mental health. The occasional days when the sun does shine (even if it means colder temperatures) make a world of difference! 
• Our humidifier, moisturizer and lots of lip balm. It's very dry in our condo, even with the humidifier running constantly (albeit not at full blast, because it just gets too noisy then, despite Dyson's claims of "quiet" technology...!).  The humidity levels have only cracked 40% a couple of times since we got back from Christmas vacation, and more often hover in the low/mid-30s.  I've always had great skin;  people have always complimented me on it -- but apparently skin often gets drier with age, and it seems I'm not immune:  these days I've got some patches of dryness and rosacea on my cheeks/around my nose. It sucks. :(   My doctor prescribed me a topical gel, and I've been using it since last fall, but it hasn't really helped much.  
• I recently bought a small jar of Clinique Redness Solutions cream to try, and I've actually seen some small improvements since I started using it last week, which makes me feel slightly better about looking in the mirror...!   
• My favourite lip balm continues to be the (very pricey -- and the price has gone up by about $8 since I bought my last tube!! WTF??)  Sugar Advanced Therapy Treatment by Fresh.  
• But I also really like this Smooch lip balm by K'Pure, which a friend introduced me to in recent years. :)   
• Comfort food.  Lots of soups for lunch (our local supermarket has some good ones at their takeout counter takeout), roast or rotisserie takeout chicken, chicken & dumplings in the crockpot... I pulled out my mother's meatloaf recipe recently, which I hadn't made in years, and made mini-meatloaves in muffin tins, topped with a Dijon mustard/brown sugar glaze (I know most people use ketchup, but I can't have that because of my tomato allergy), served with garlic mashed potatoes. There were leftovers to put in the freezer too. Yum!  
• Chocolate!  ;)  Dh & I traditionally exchange cards on Valentine's Day, but this year, there was also a small heart-shaped box of Lindor chocolates sitting on my night table when I woke up, along with the card. (He knows me well!)   
• Books (of course!).  The latest S.J. Bennett novel (in the "Her Majesty the Queen Investigates" series) isn't available in North America yet, but I was able to snag a copy, and (as usual) it's such a pick-me-up.  :)  
• Pretty new jewelry.  :)  Love me some new bling! (Even if I don't get the chance to show it off in public very often these days...!) 
• Turning the channel on the TV -- away from the news networks, and onto some music. (Mostly classic rock and 70s channels!) 
• Zoom chats with distant friends. :) 

Past posts on this subject here. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Odds & ends (& whines, lol)

• "This Valentine's Day, show some love to the one who’s always there." Katie at My Sweet Dumb Brain makes the excellent point that "The only constant in your life is you." 
• Here we go again? Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band just announced some Canadian dates this fall, including two nights here in Toronto in November. (He's also going to be in Winnipeg, for the first time ever! -- 40+ years after dh first romanced me with his music in his dorm room, lol)(on a cassette played on a boombox, lol).  I signed up for verified fan status with Ticketmaster -- which entitles me to the CHANCE to buy tickets when they go on sale (I'll find out next week if I'm going to be allowed to try...!).  
• I'm of two minds:  
• On the one hand:  Bruce isn't getting any younger (and neither are we...!). He's 73.  Who knows how many more chances we'll get to see him again?  He & his music played a key role in our early relationship :)  (as I've written on this blog several times before), and we've seen him together twice in the past in Toronto, in 1985 and 1992 (without the E Street Band) -- dh saw him a couple of times before he met me, and we tried but failed to get tickets for other times he's played in Toronto. (I also tried -- and failed -- to get tickets to see his "Springsteen on Broadway" show in New York City a few years back. A great excuse for a trip to NYC, right? Oh well...!)  He always puts on a GREAT show. 
• On the other hand: I'm mindful of the Elton John tickets saga, and how well THAT turned out...! (and how will SIL feel if we buy tickets to Bruce, after she & I decided to cash in our Elton tickets after repeated postponements and cancellations amid pandemic uncertainty?). I'm also very mindful that (contrary to what some might think), covid is still very much alive and well -- and the prospect of sitting in a crowded arena with 20,000+ other, mostly maskless, singing & cheering people, is not as appealing as it might have been three years ago, to me or to dh...!  (In fact, I recently read that several members of the E Street Band are currently out with covid themselves!) There's also been a sharp increase in crimes on the transit system, which is how we'd normally head downtown. Parking there is both hard to find and astronomically expensive, especially when there's a big event on. 
• (This is assuming we're able to get tickets in the first place... and even if we're able, are we willing to pay the exorbitant prices that will likely be charged?)(Pricing hasn't been announced yet, but as the Toronto Star pointed out, it's likely a far cry from the $10 dh paid to see him in 1978...!)  
• (Why does life have to be so complicated?) 
• A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how developers are proposing to build a 12-storey condo building right next door to ours (and directly across the street from another, larger 10-storey condo building) -- replacing three houses on/adjacent to the corner of a main road and a residential street, and facing and exiting onto the residential street.  
• Last week, I tuned in online to a recent meeting of our city council where members of the public had their say about the proposed application. There were 45 written submissions (available to read on the city's website) and about 10 local residents speaking at the meeting or via Zoom.  It was fascinating and quite an eye-opener in some respects to watch the process unfold and listen to what they all had to say. It's quite obvious to anyone who sees the site that it's a completely inappropriate place to put up a 12-storey building, but it was informative and validating to hear all the arguments presented in such an articulate way. (I won't list them all here but let's just say the proposed design violates existing zoning laws in more ways than one, not to mention urban planning principles and simple common sense.)  
• Whether that was enough to stop the project -- or at least scale it back to a more reasonable size -- remains to be seen. To their credit, the councillors were unanimous in their opposition -- but they also pointed out that the appeals process is stacked solidly in favour of the developers, enabled by a pro-development provincial government and premier. Sigh. 
• The BBC had what I thought was a surprisingly thoughtful article about the growing number of people choosing not to have children. They point out the difference between childFREE and childLESS, discuss the many reasons why people might not have children, the fact that people tend to lump childless and childfree people together -- AND they talk about how the choice to live without children is still not well understood and accepted  -- a point that I don't think gets enough attention outside the childless/free community. Worth a read!  
• The article uses the term "backlash," which I don't think I've ever heard in a discussion related to childless/free living before.  I read Susan Faludi's classic book on the subject when it first came out in the early 1990s -- and I see there's a new edition available (from 2006).  Time for a re-read, perhaps...!  
• "Freeze now, sell later":  Alison Motluk , who writes the Substack newsletter Hey ReproTech, speculates that some women who freeze their eggs but never use them might eventually try to sell them as a way to recoup their significant financial outlay.  
• Yael Wolfe in Medium:  "This Gen Xer Doesn’t Understand TikTok."  
• This late Boomer/early GenXer doesn't either, lol, and Yael perfectly voices my gripes with trying to keep up with technology (and some of the reasons why I've never sought to expand the "reach" of this blog onto social media and become an "influencer"). (Trust me, some day it will happen to you -- if not with TikTok then some other newfangled app that you don't "get" and have no interest in learning how to use...!) 
• In a similar vein, Anne Helen Petersen recently announced that she is winding down the Discord community she created as an extension of her Culture Study Substack newsletter. Like many online community leaders, she found it was taking up a lot more time and energy than she bargained for.  
• I've been on message boards since 1998, and on the CS Discord for the better part of a year, although I rarely visited there. There were a lot of similarities to old-style message boards -- and yet, I just couldn't figure out how it was organized or how to follow threads, etc.  I guess I really am getting old...??  :p  
• I debated over whether to watch "Not Dead Yet," the TV version of Alexandra Potter's delightful novel "Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k-Up," which I read, loved and reviewed here. Then I forgot all about it. Oh well. 
• I may still watch (I found I can catch up online) -- but from what I've read, I didn't miss out on much. "Struggles to Show Signs of Life," says the Hollywood Reporter. Ominously, the Reporter also says the show is "adapted by David Windsor and Casey Johnson in almost no recognizable way from Alexandra Potter’s novel." ("A loose adaptation," says Slant.)  
• The only real similarities between the book and the TV show seem to be a lead character named Nell who returns home from abroad after her relationship implodes and lands a job writing obituaries.  But in the Hollywood version, the setting has changed from England to California (not surprising, but very disappointing), and... the dead people Nell writes about... talk to her.  A cutesy twist that's definitely not in the book. Sigh. 
• Have you watched it? (If you have, have you read the book first?)  What did you think? 
• I have virtually zero interest in American college or NFL football or the Super Bowl -- but I did watch the halftime show on Sunday... and noticed that Rihanna seemed to be sporting a bit of a tummy. I knew she'd had a baby recently and figured maybe it was leftover pregnancy weight? 
• But then dh told me "Rihanna pregnant" was trending on Twitter, so I Googled and found out she'd had her son back in May 2022.. so...!. (You can see how closely I follow celebrity gossip these days, lol.)  Her management confirmed the pregnancy before the show was over. 
• The childless forums and accounts I follow were full of eyerolls and angst the next morning. CNBCers in the UK reported that Rihanna's pregnancy was the headline news, with who won the Super Bowl coming a distant second/afterthought. 
• Personally, while I did some eye-rolling myself, I found this far less triggering/enraging than Beyonce's ultra-smug reveal of her first pregnancy at the VMAs some years back (ripping off camouflaging clothing and then caressing her belly with a self-satisfied smile, to make sure we got the message)... followed by her photo shoot and then "fertility goddess" routine at the Grammys while heavily pregnant with twins a few years later (which I wrote about here). Oy. 
• (Does anyone actually sing LIVE at these events anymore? It was obvious several times that Rihanna wasn't even trying to lip sync...)  

#MicroblogMondays: Portrait of an auntie :)

Even though Little Great-Nephew (LGN) hasn't been coming to stay with his Grandma (SIL) every day lately (since his mom went on disability last month, because of carpal tunnel syndrome), we've still managed to see him almost as many times this month as we normally would have. 

Most recently:  BIL & SIL (his grandparents -- who, of course, saw him every day and REALLY miss him!) called us on Wednesday -- they thought they might drive up to Older Nephew's house to visit on Friday and asked if we wanted to come. Of course we did! -- so we quickly altered our planned agenda (which was going to be laundry on Thursday & housecleaning on Friday) and did the laundry on Wednesday. 

We were just finishing up housecleaning on Thursday around lunchtime when BIL called again.  Older Nephew's Wife/LGN's mom had friends coming over on Friday -- but did we want to go with them later this afternoon instead? 

That's how we wound up at Older Nephew's house late Thursday afternoon -- arriving not long before he got home from work. LGN -- and the dog! (I miss him too!!) -- were ecstatic to see us all.  :)  Dh & BIL went to get takeout fish & chips for dinner, Older Nephew's Wife poured wine for herself, SIL & me, and took freshly baked banana cake with chocolate chips out of the oven for dessert. (She's a great cook!)  

At one point, LGN sat at the table with his art supplies and started drawing pictures. I was amused when he declared the picture he was working on was of... me. "Don't forget to draw Aunt Loribeth's glasses," his grandma reminded him. He did!  I asked him if the two lines coming out of the bottom of my head were legs and/or feet. "Socks!"  he corrected me.  :)  See below. :)  

I took the picture home and put it up on the refrigerator (as I used to do with the pictures LGN's dad & uncle drew for me, years ago), using magnets that ONW & LGN had made for us as a Valentine's Day present.  :)  

A good time was had by all. :)  

(I just realized my last 3 #MM posts, including this one, have all been about LGN....!  What can I say? -- I'm a proud great-auntie!  :)  ) 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

Great-Aunt Loribeth -- with glasses. And socks!  (lol) 
By Little Great-Nephew, age 3.
(He & his mom made the heart magnets as a Valentine's Day present.) 
(This may wind up as my social media profile photo, lol.)

#MicroblogMondays: Valentine's Day/Mid-February odds & ends (& rants!)

(Including a couple of rants/vents on various topics that have been bugging me lately...!) 

• It's Valentine's Day -- and dh & I are marking our 40th (!!) Valentine's Day together.  :)  (We met 40 years ago last October, and had our first date 40 years ago last month.) 
• It's never been a big-deal day for us... mostly we just exchange cards. We used to go out for dinner, sometimes, earlier in our marriage, but it was always so crowded and noisy and expensive, we gave that up. I've always told dh not to get me any flowers, because the prices are always SO ridiculous -- but he did pick me up a small box of chocolates when he was at the supermarket on Valentine's Day last year, which was a completely unexpected treat and a mid-February/covid winter pick-me-up.  :)  (I will NEVER turn down chocolate!  lol)  
• I still have the first Valentine's Day card he gave me (and all the other ones since then too). 
• Past Valentine's Day-related posts have been tagged, here. 
• Recap: The Elton John concert that SIL & I bought tickets for, way back in November 2019 -- originally scheduled for March 29th, 2020, then rescheduled for Feb. 15th, 2022 -- was postponed again to March 13th. There was an option to ask for a refund within 7 days of the change in date -- and we decided to take it.  But then, on Feb. 1st, I got an email saying "Your event has been postponed," saying organizers were trying to reschedule. 
• Update: Finally, on Feb. 11th, I got another email saying the event had been cancelled :(  and a refund would be forthcoming. I went on Ticketmaster and checked all the Elton John dates for Toronto, just to be certain, and sure enough, the March 12th & 13th dates (as well as the February dates) were all cancelled. It's a relief to finally have things settled, one way or another. 
• There's a September date at the Rogers Centre/SkyDome stadium that's still on, but I'm sure most of the seats for that are long gone -- and even if there are tickets available, who knows what the covid situation will be by then?? -- I don't want to buy tickets for anything too far in advance right now...! 
• BIL called dh early last week and invited us to come to dinner last Saturday night. Both nephews, their wives and (of course) Little Great-Nephew were all coming. (He didn't mention it, but it's his & SIL's wedding anniversary this week, and I suspect that may have been the reason for the family get-together.)
  • Then he called again a day or so later -- to UNinvite us. (!) He said to dh, "Don't get mad!" Dh said he knew he felt very guilty. You have to know BIL... he's got a huge heart, and he's very impulsive. Doesn't always think things through, and doesn't have a lot of filters. ;)  He told dh they wanted LGN to spend some time "bonding" with his aunt & uncle (Younger Nephew & his wife, who are LGN's godparents). They are even more paranoid about covid than dh & I are, and none of us have seen much of them over the past two years (even though we all live in the same area) -- so they haven't spent much time with the little guy, certainly not as much as dh & I have over the past year. They're also very, very covid-cautious, and would probably have been less inclined to come if too many people were around (even though we're almost as cautious as they are!). 
  • We weren't mad. (Dh actually thought it was hilarious -- so typically BIL.) BIL & SIL have always been so very kind about including us in things -- and they certainly have the right to be together as a family without us hanging around all the time. Especially right now, when family together time has been so limited.
  • But -- I have to admit -- it still stings a little. :(  
• I had to mute yet another person on social media (and am debating whether to unfollow outright), over some comments they made about what's been happening here in Canada, in Ottawa and at several border crossings (including one right outside the border town where I was born). Not the first, and probably not the last...  :(  
• I can't write too much about that whole situation (although I did, a little bit, in this post) --  I can't even watch the news right now -- because I am just so, SO angry about the whole thing -- about the "protests" and the people behind them, the politicians who are enabling them and hoping to cash in on it all, and the way things have been (mis)handled by the police and by all levels of government (municipal, provincial and federal)(and I know I am far from alone in feeling this way). :(  You can be damned sure that if these protesters were indigenous peoples or other people of colour, they would have been cleared out of there long, long ago (in fact, they never would have been allowed anywhere near Parliament Hill in the first place with that many trucks, etc.). My heart goes out to anyone living (or trying to live) in downtown Ottawa right now.    
• In other decidedly not-good news this morning, our premier has announced our province will be dropping vaccine passports, as well as all remaining capacity limits, as of March 1st -- about two weeks away, and sooner than expected. (Mask mandates will remain for now -- and thank goodness for that!)  Numbers *have* been on the decline -- but they still remain high overall, if you look at the past two years to date. I think it's premature. (Could the fact that there's an election coming up on June 2nd have anything to do with this eagerness to embrace "normalcy" so quickly? -- hmmm....) 
• I've never actually used my vaccine passport, other than to get through airport security at Christmastime. (Even then, they just looked at it, didn't scan it.) We haven't been in any restaurants or other venues where they are currently required -- but knowing that the mandate existed made me feel better about the prospect of going back, eventually. Needless to say, we are highly unlikely to do so for the foreseeable future, once those passport requirements are dropped (and most certainly once masks are abandoned).  The numbers will have to come down a whole lot more, and remain low for quite a while, before we'll consider doing that. 
• This is an incredible story of siblings and half-siblings reunited through the miracle of modern DNA testing. It's also a heartbreaking tale of poverty, abuse and black-market adoptions in Quebec in the 1950s.  Worth a read! 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

#MicroblogMondays: The best meals I've ever eaten

Mel recently asked us  "What are the best things you’ve ever eaten?"  Here are a few random memories (the list could change as I remember more!).  

• Mrs. G's perogies and holubtsi (cabbage rolls). She used to cater events in the small Manitoba town where my dad's family is from, which is where my parents first encountered her and her cooking. My aunties make excellent perogies and cabbage rolls too, but my mother did not want to pester them every time our family wanted some. (We tried making perogies ourselves once when I was a kid, from my best friend's mom's recipe... they weren't too bad tasting, but they are time consuming and very finicky to make.)  So, back in the mid-1980s, my parents started ordering from Mrs. G -- like 20 dozen each at one time -- driving more than an hour & a half one way to pick them up (and then an hour & a half home again -- my dad calls it "making a perogy run,"  lol), and then freezing them, to be doled out as treats when we kids come to visit and on special occasions like Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. Mrs. G is now in her 90s (!) and her catering days are long behind her, but she will still do a large order for my dad once or twice a year (although her daughter does most of the work these days). Dad is now 82 himself (!) but says it's worth the drive to get what he wants. My sister has searched for alternatives in the city (which is full of Poles & Ukrainians, so you'd think it wouldn't be hard to find...), but nothing she's come up with has quite equalled Mrs. G's, according to the taste buds of our family. ;) 
• (My dad prefers things simple:  her perogies are filled with a mashed potato/cheddar cheese blend, boiled and then served with melted butter and sour cream. Sometimes a bit of fried onion (although dad is not fond of onion) &/or bacon bits.  Her Ukrainian-style cabbage rolls are small and filled with rice, dill and a bit of bacon for flavouring. No meat, aside from the bacon bits. Dad cooks them in the oven with tomato sauce/juice & oil, or even just plain, with some oil & water and a lot of dill. Divine!)  
• My mom's turkey, gravy & stuffing (my grandmother's recipe, which includes bread cubes/croutons, raisins, celery, onions, apples and seasonings). Nothing compares. These days, my sister cleans & preps the turkey while I chop & prep the stuffing, under Mom's supervision. 
• Speaking of turkey dinners, I have fond memories, growing up in small Prairie towns, of the fall suppers (sometimes referred to as fowl suppers) organized by various church and community groups as fundraisers at this time of year at church and community halls. For a ridiculously low price, you could line up at the hall, grab a plate and help yourself to a buffet that would include turkey and mashed potatos with gravy & stuffing, vegetables, several kinds of salads, buns/dinner rolls, a bottle of water or can of pop and/or coffee/tea, and then a luscious spread of pies (apple, pumpkin and others) and other desserts, all while visiting with your neighbours while seated at long trestle tables covered in paper tablecloths. I haven't been to one in years myself, but my parents still go. Some now offer takeout, and I believe that's how most operated last year during COVID-19.  
• The cafeteria at my workplace in downtown Toronto offered subsidized and surprisingly tasty breakfasts, lunches and snacks at very reasonable prices, dine in or takeout. It first opened when the building was new, in the late 1940s/early 1950s, when there were far fewer affordable dining choices in the area available to employees. It was specifically for employees of my company and their guests, but people working for other companies in the building and neighbourhood knew about it and often got their lunches there too. I don't think anyone ever stopped them. There were usually two or three hot entrees offered daily (meat, starch & veggies for $5-7);  a short-order grill where you could get a hamburger, hot dog or grilled cheese, etc.;  a salad bar; a soup bar with four different kinds of freshly made soups daily (I particularly liked the navy bean, the cauliflower cheese and the broccoli cheddar); a made-to-order sandwich bar, with your choice of bread, meats and condiments, served with sides of potato chips and/or carrot & celery sticks;  and a daily grilled panini. Just before Thanksgiving, Christmas & Easter, there would be a turkey dinner including turkey, stuffing, mashed potatos & gravy, veggies, a small salad, a bun, a can of pop or bottle of water, a small cup of nuts, and a choice of apple or pumpkin pie (or a piece of fresh fruit). I don't think the price ever went above $10 for all that while I worked there.
• There were some great places to eat in the food court of our building (and the other nearby office buildings) as well (along with the usual fast-food chains). There was an Italian restaurant (now long gone) that had a takeout counter, where I got excellent pizza slices and wonderful risotto for years. A Chinese restaurant (also long gone) with a takeout counter that offered wonderful spring rolls and lemon chicken. And many others. 
• The linguini with clams & white wine sauce at a little hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant near our first apartment in midtown Toronto. I particularly remember going there with dh, BIL & SIL on Valentine's Day in the mid/late 1980s, pre-nephews. The place was decorated with confetti on the tables and helium balloons that clustered on the ceiling, with curled ribbons dangling down (very festive). The friendly staff (who knew us by then) greeted us warmly (even though we didn't have reservations! -- we went early, before the expected crowds, so they were happy to accommodate us) and were attentive but not obtrusive. The restaurant, sadly, is long gone, but the fond memories remain. 
• Breakfasts at the Charles Inn in Niagara-on-the-Lake, described here. 
• The maple salmon at Salty's on the waterfront in Halifax. I had lunch there by myself while in Halifax on business in mid-November 1997, after a lovely Sunday morning exploring the waterfront and visiting the Maritime Museum of the Atlantic (which has a marvelous Titanic exhibit -- this was just before the movie came out). It was a grey day, not too cold, with snowflakes softly falling. The restaurant was not too busy, and I had a table with a view of the boats on the harbour and the twin city of Dartmouth across the water. Dh & I returned there in September 2010 on our belated 25th wedding anniversary trip to Nova Scotia, and it was every bit as good as I had remembered. I look forward to returning someday!  
• The thin-crust, wood oven pizzas we get from a local Italian restaurant (including a "white" pizza with thinly sliced potatos, pancetta, caramelized onions and rosemary for me). Besides pizza, they're also known for their gelato and they do a booming business at the takeout counter, especially in the summertime. :)  
• Also:  the thin-crust, wood oven pizza we had at Fiazza in Byward Market in Ottawa a couple of years ago, recommended by a friend who lives there (described here). Yum! 
• Burgers and fries from Hero Burgers, a local chain. (Haven't been there since the pandemic began, sadly.) 
• A nice, well-seasoned steak (medium well, please) with a baked potato and veggies. I've had great steaks in several places, both at restaurants & people's houses (dh's cousin barbecued some amazing, tender steaks for us on our recent cottage weekend)... I don't have it often these days, but it's something I love to eat now & then. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

#MicroblogMondays: Pandemic Family Day

Today is Family Day in Ontario, as well as a couple of other Canadian provinces (British Columbia, Alberta, New Brunswick and Saskatchewan). Other provinces have a holiday today as well, albeit they wisely opted to call it something different -- Islander Day in Prince Edward Island, Heritage Day in Nova Scotia and Louis Riel Day in my home province of Manitoba. Yukon designates one Friday in February as Heritage Day.  Quebec, Newfoundland and Labrador, Nunavut and the Northwest Territories still don't offer a February long weekend holiday at all.  Not everyone gets the day off (even in a pandemic), which is a sore spot with some, but for the most part, most people in Ontario are enjoying a holiday today. 

Anyone who's been reading my blog for a while knows that while I am all for a holiday long weekend in mid-February, I am not a fan of Family Day per se. I wish-wish-wish the powers that be had opted to call it something other than Family Day -- and you will understand why.  ;) 

I wondered whether COVID-19 would put a damper on the Family Day hype this year.  And this morning, the Toronto Star has an editorial musing on that subject, noting that for some people, too much family togetherness has been the problem, while for others, it's been far too little.  

But, never let a pandemic stand in the way of pronatalism -- or consumerism, lol... Non-essential retail stores are closed (albeit curbside pickup is still available from many stores), but I noticed a preponderance of recent ads from retailers & small businesses wishing everyone a "Happy Family Day!"  (Some went so far as to wish "Happy Family Day, Canada!" -- which would be rubbing salt in the wounds of those provinces that don't get any kind of holiday at all today -- see above.)  I also noticed a lot of ads in my Facebook & Instagram feeds from restaurants offering not only Valentine's Day specials but also Family Day specials this weekend. The Italian restaurants around here tend to offer huge family-sized portions anyway, especially around holidays, so I suppose it was natural, but still... (I have yet to peruse my social media posts this morning, so I'm not sure how much my friends there are saying about it...) 

Still. Things could be worse.  Not only is today Family Day, but it was Valentine's Day yesterday (as well as Chinese New Year on Friday! -- and today is also Presidents Day in the U.S.). For anyone who's both childless AND unpartnered, this weekend had to be a nightmare...!  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

#MicroblogMonday: Welcome to my least favourite month

Reasons why I dislike February: 

• Feb. 8th = LMP (last menstrual period) date for my pregnancy with Katie, in 1998. Always a reminder of what was, and what will never be, and of everything that happened in the months that followed. This will be year #23. 
• It's COLD!  
• And grey, more days than not. Which makes things even more depressing...
• COVID-19 makes the winter seem even longer. :(   I have not been out of the house since my birthday (on Jan. 12th). 
• Memories of when I was still working:  February was a busy month, as we frantically prepared for our company's annual meeting & other communications projects, wrapping up the previous year and launching the new one. 
• Not one but TWO dental appointments coming up this month (crown replacement plus cavity fix -- ugh...). 
• "Family Day" -- the made-up holiday that's always a reminder of the pronatalism around me and the fact that I don't have (living) children. Far too many people do not consider a childless couple a family, and the hype around Family Day generally makes that abundantly clear. 

Reasons why I can like/tolerate February: 

• Today (Feb. 1st) I have been officially retired for five years. :)  (Lost my job July 2014;  began receiving my early retirement pension Feb. 1, 2016.)  
• Retirement. :)  It's much easier to endure February in retirement than it was while I was working...!  No 5 a.m. wake-up alarm;  no standing in the dark on a freezing cold platform waiting for a train to come (that's inevitably running late because of "mechanical difficulties");  no work stress to deal with... We don't have to leave the house/condo unless we really want to or need to (and that's a double blessing during a pandemic...!). 
• Living in a condo with underground parking = no snow for dh to shovel, or to clear off the car.
• Valentine's Day.  Dh rolls his eyes and calls it a "Hallmark (made-up) holiday," but what's not to like about a holiday that celebrates love & romance??  (And chocolate??  lol) (I realize people who are not in a happy relationship on Valentine's Day might feel differently.)
• Family Day may not have the greatest name, but introducing it (in 2008) did give us a long weekend in the middle of February ;)  which was a real relief when I was still working. 
• I don't mind the cold weather so much if/when the sun shines... :) 
• Only 28 days to get through versus the usual 30 or 31. :)  (29, once every four years.) 

(See also "I hate November," lol. November comes second to February only because there is Christmas to look forward to...!)(It's usually not as cold either, lol.) 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

A tribute to Mrs. Patmore :)

Hail to Mrs. Patmore,   
ruler of the Downton Abbey kitchen. 

Dh & I have been (re)watching (and hugely enjoying) reruns of "Downton Abbey" on weekday afternoons this fall on CBC TV (which should be wrapping up next week). 

One of my favourite characters is Mrs. Patmore, the cook. "Mrs." was a courtesy title traditionally given to the cook & housekeeper of great houses like Downton, whether they had ever been married or not. All indications are that neither Mrs. Patmore nor Mrs. Hughes (the housekeeper) were ever married or had children -- that is, until Mrs. Hughes married Mr. Carson, the butler -- after which Mrs. Patmore observes, a bit wistfully, "I suppose (Mrs. Hughes) knows the mystery of life by now, which is more than I can say for myself.” (lol) 

Nevertheless, it recently struck me that Mrs. Patmore is probably the most "motherly" figure on the show. 

She tutors Lady Sybil in some basic cooking skills before she heads off for nurse's training during the war. She also encourages footman Alfred's culinary ambitions, and he eventually lands a spot in a prestigious chef's training program at the Ritz in London. 

She lobbies both Carson and Lord Grantham to have her nephew Archie's name included on the local war memorial, and is crushed when it's excluded because he was executed for desertion. (Today, Archie would probably be diagnosed with PTSD and sent home for mental health treatment.) Lord Grantham comforts her by commissioning a special plaque dedicated to Archie, mounted on a wall near the town memorial and unveiled at the same time.

But it's Mrs. Patmore's relationship with Daisy the kitchen maid (who, under her tutelage, becomes the assistant cook) that best demonstrates her nurturing qualities. While she barks at Daisy and prods her to do better -- as any mother probably would -- her bark is far worse than her bite, and she is clearly Daisy's biggest champion.  She encourages Daisy to accept footman William's proposal as he heads off to war (to give him something to look forward to while he's "over there") -- and then to marry him as he lays on his deathbed, even though she never truly loved him. She also encourages Daisy to befriend William's lonely father, Mr. Mason -- and there are hints of a romance between herself & Mr. Mason by the end of the series! 

When Valentine's Day comes along, she sends Daisy an anonymous card, to ensure that Daisy doesn't feel left out. When Daisy gently turns down Alfred, Mrs. Patmore tells her, "I couldn't be prouder of you if you were my own daughter." Perhaps most importantly, she encourages Daisy to pursue her education, and pays for schoolteacher Sarah Bunting to serve as Daisy's tutor. And she's devastated when Daisy briefly considers leaving Downton to seek her fortune in London. 

Mrs. Patmore may be a fictional character, but she's beautifully written, and beautifully acted by Lesley Nicol. Couldn't all of us benefit from a Mrs. Patmore in our lives??

#MicroblogMondays: (More) Odds & ends

• Today is our Family Day long weekend Monday in Ontario. :p  Most of the press coverage I've seen has just been focused on what's open & closed -- no sentimental musings on the meaning of family (which usually mentions children and is seldom defined as a family of two like mine) -- for which I'm grateful. :) 
• Our Valentine's Day was pretty uneventful. We generally just exchange cards (which we did) -- and we did the housecleaning (which is our usual Friday thing to do), lol.  It was pretty cold outside, so I was actually happy to just stay cozy at home. We did take BIL & SIL out for dinner on Saturday night, which was their wedding anniversary. (The restaurants were still pretty busy then, but we managed to get in to our favourite pizza restaurant fairly quickly -- even without a reservation! -- by going there right when it opened at 5 p.m.) 
• Pre-VDay, I had bought a red sleeper for little Great-Nephew that said "Cuter than Cupid" on the front (lol), but we also took over a little book & card for him on Thursday night. His mom posted photos of him wearing the sleeper on Valentine's Day to her social media accounts, and thanked us for the book & card. :)  
• Younger Nephew & his wife are planning a sunspot vacation to celebrate their second wedding anniversary in April.  BIL (the nephews' dad):  "I'll bet she comes back pregnant. A girl this time around... that would be nice."  Dh: "Well... I guess we'll see...!" (Me: (silently rolling my eyes...!) ).  
• The Globe & Mail published an extensive first-person article this weekend about IVF in Canada (& the province of Ontario in particular), making a case for expanded government funding and regulation.  
• As always, beware the comments!
• The latest (February) episode of The Full Stop podcast (created for & by the childless-not-by-choice community) features a conversation with Suzan Muir of Australia. I was fascinated by her thoughts on rites of passage and childlessness (around the 43 minute mark), as well as nature as a community that she (& we) can connect to as a part of our healing. 
• The podcast turns one in May!  And they are marking it with a birthday party, with all three co-hosts together in the same room for the very first time! Co-host Michael & his wife Vicki will be making the trip from their home in Australia to England to celebrate with co-hosts Sarah & Berenice, AND they've invited the CNBC community to join them. If you're going to be in London (lucky you!) on Saturday, May 9th, a limited number of spots are available...details here!  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Odds & ends (the downbeat edition)

• I had almost forgotten that -- in addition to every single woman's favourite (not) holiday, Valentine's Day -- it's Family Day this weekend in Ontario (& several other Canadian provinces). (Past Family Day-related posts/rants here.) I received an unwelcome reminder by way of a sappy radio ad that was sponsored by a union (!). Bah, humbug. :p 
• An older, distant (female, American, conservative) relative rarely posts on Facebook -- but recently, she posted a faux Peanuts cartoon in which Lucy says, "Women have the right to control their own bodies!" and Linus retorts, "If you controlled them, you wouldn't need abortions!" I promptly unfollowed her. I put up with a LOT of political crap I don't agree with from some of my relatives on social media -- but when you put lines like that in the mouths of beloved Peanuts characters (who would NEVER have said anything like that...!!), I really have to draw the line. :p  (Especially with an election coming up in the States later this year...!) 
• I had some sad/shocking news over the weekend when I talked to my mother:  she told me she'd seen an obituary in the city paper... for my sister's first high school boyfriend.  They didn't go together very long, maybe a few months (some 40+ (!!) years ago now), but of course I remember him vividly.  My sister is a bit of a tough cookie -- or at least she likes to present herself that way ;) -- but my mom told me she burst into tears when she heard the news.  He was a live wire, kind of a hyper kid, a bit of a chatterbox -- so it's hard to believe he's gone. He was only 57 (same age as my sister), and had been ill for almost a year. Way too young. :( 
• I had my own little side romance going on with his best friend at the same time -- we all hung out together. He was my one and only high school "boyfriend" -- and I'm not even  really sure I can or should call him that. I think we had just one "official" date -- the four of us went to a dance together at the other high school in town (there were two!), and he paid my way in. We danced together there, and at a few house parties, and made out a few times, and I think he called me a few times, but that was it. I knew our relationship would fizzle out after my sister & his friend broke up -- and it did -- but we stayed friends (cordial but awkward in the school halls...)(I was friends with his two younger brothers as well, and our moms also knew each other), and I still have fond memories of him and of that time in my life.
• After writing the above, I started Googling -- & ran across a blog written by my old boyfriend's younger brother. 
• He has stage 4 cancer and expects to be gone within the year. :(  
• I think it's time for me to get offline for a while...!  

"Parkland" by Dave Cullen

Ten years ago (!) this summer, I read "Columbine" by Dave Cullen, the definitive account of the school shooting at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado (which happened 10 years before that, in April 1999).  Whether or not true crime stories are your kind of reading, it's an amazing book (with some perceptive insights on grief, loss & the long-lasting effects of trauma), and I have recommended it highly to many people in the years since then.

(Sadly, I have a cousin who still can't bring herself to read it -- she was an elementary school teacher in a small town in the U.S. that was affected by a shooting at the local high school in 2005. It wasn't her school, but nevertheless she & her students were on lockdown, and she knew everyone involved.  The subject matter is still way too close to home for her.)

After reading "Columbine," I reviewed it on my blog, here -- and was floored when Dave Cullen himself popped by to comment (and then commented again on a follow-up post I wrote). (As I noted at the time, stuff like this never or rarely happened, pre-Internet...!)

I've been following Dave on social media ever since then. Unfortunately, his accumulated subject matter expertise has made him the media's go-to guy whenever there's a major mass shooting event in the States (which, sadly, is far, FAR too often). He developed post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) himself, post-Columbine, and as he found himself commenting on mass shooting after mass shooting in Columbine's wake, he despaired that nothing was ever going to change.

And then came Parkland.

Dave immediately noticed something different in the aftermath of the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school in Parkland, Florida, on Valentine's Day 2018.  The day after Columbine, the survivors were like zombies, shellshocked. These kids in Florida were MAD.  And they were demanding action.

Before long, they were taking action themselves: within days, they were (successfully) lobbying the Florida state legislature to demand changes to gun control laws;  within weeks, they had organized a march on Washington (the March for Our Lives) that attracted 470,000 people, and up to 2.1 million in almost 800 "sibling" marches on all 7 continents.  Meanwhile, they also began networking with other kids from across the country, and spent the summer on a cross-country bus tour, building a movement. Their efforts to register young voters and elect candidates who share their quest for sensible gun control laws had a tangible impact on the 2018 mid-term elections.

While both "Columbine" and "Parkland" are about school shootings and what happened afterwards, and both books have a similar cover design, there are some important differences. "Columbine" was 10 years in the making, and delves heavily into the story of the two killers, what motivated them, how they planned and carried out the shooting, and how investigators gradually unravelled what really happened (versus the myths that sprang up almost immediately), as well as the stories of the victims and the survivors.

"Parkland" arrived in bookstores almost one year to the day after the MSD shootings. The events of February 14, 2018, are dispensed with in just a few pages;  the killer is not named and is barely mentioned.  The focus of the story is on what happened next:  a fly-on-the-wall view of a year in the life of a group of motivated, media-savvy teenaged survivors, and how they came together to build a movement for change.

It's a story of hope.

I really enjoyed "Parkland" and found it hard to put down (and I can say & mean "enjoyed" in a way that I couldn't about "Columbine," if you know what I mean... although there are some parts where you may want to have some kleenex handy...!). The "Notes on Sources" at the end are among the most readable I've ever seen, and add further insight and information.

I gave this book four stars on Goodreads.

The story of the Parkland kids and the March for Our Lives continues. I would love to get Dave's perspective on them (and the further great things I am sure they will accomplish) in another 10 years... but I don't think anyone would blame the guy if he wanted to move on to other subjects. ;)  He's been following the story of two gay soldiers for the past 20 years, and interrupted his work on a book about them to follow the Parkland story. He's hoping to finally complete that other book later this year.  I am looking forward to reading it, too!

This was book #6 that I have read in 2019 to date, bringing me to 25% of my 2019 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 24 books.  I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 3 books ahead of schedule to meet my goal. :)