Showing posts with label 2018 books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2018 books. Show all posts

Friday, January 4, 2019

"I'd Rather Be Reading" by Anne Bogel

I believe it was Mel at Stirrup Queens who first piqued my interest in Modern Mrs. Darcy by mentioning her (several times, I think) in her blog.  Eventually I clicked over & wound up adding MMD to my blog reader.  (MMD, whose name is actually Anne Bogel, also hosts a book-focused podcast called "What Should I Read Next?"  which I have yet to actually listen to, but have on my to-do-someday list.)

"I'd Rather Be Reading" is an extension of both the book and the podcast:  21 chapters/mini-essays about books and reading and loving both, and how to get more out of your reading life.  I love books of essays & short stories like this that you can dip in & out of at your leisure -- each essay/chapter complete in itself but thematically linked to the others.  Among the topics Bogel writes about:

  • literary "sins"
  • books that "find" you at just the right time in your life 
  • books that break your heart 
  • living next door to the local library 
  • the book that hooked you on the power of story 
  • bookshelf envy 
  • books & real life 
  • organizing your bookshelves
  • being "book bossy" 
  • familiar bookworm problems
  • the readers we have been at different stages of our lives 
  • reading deadlines 
  • reading the author's acknowledgements 
  • coming of age as a reader 
  • being a bookseller (the fantasy vs the reality) 
  • book twins 
  • re-reading books 
  • "book people" and bookstores 
  • keeping a reading log 
  • how our favourite books are windows to our soul 
If you love books and reading (as I do), you are bound to love this book.  My one caveat: when I finally found it at the bookstore, I was surprised at what a slender little volume it was. My sister saw the price tag on the back, & commented, "$18.49 (Canadian)(the U.S. price is $14.99) is a lot of money for such a little book!"  It kind of is -- although I did enjoy it thoroughly. :)  Maybe I just wished there was more of it to enjoy. :)

I gave it four stars on Goodreads.

This was the 27th & final book that I read in 2018. I surpassed my 2018 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 24 books by 3 books, or 113%!  :)

Thursday, January 3, 2019

"Becoming" by Michelle Obama

Former First Lady Michelle Obama's memoir, "Becoming," lives up to the hype and is well worth a read. It's well-written, frank, thoughtful, sometimes blunt and sometimes funny.

The book is divided into sections on the theme of "Becoming" -- "Becoming Me," "Becoming Us" and "Becoming More."  In "Becoming Me," Michelle describes her upbringing in a very ordinary, tight-knit, working class black family.  This is the section I found the most interesting, I think. Michelle is just a few years younger than me (her husband is eight months younger than me), so we grew up in a similar time frame with similar historical & cultural references -- although, admittedly, there are some big differences between growing up black on the South Side of Chicago and the very white, small Canadian Prairie towns where I grew up.

Throughout her life, and especially her youth, Michelle  benefited from the support & encouragement of caring adults & mentors, including her great-aunt who lived downstairs & gave her piano lessons; her parents, who taught her the value of hard work, persistence and education (her mother had her moved out of an unruly classroom with an ineffective teacher, which she pinpoints as a key moment in her life);  and a number of mentors who broadened her horizons and provided her with valuable career advice and work opportunities. Both she & her brother wound up graduating from Princeton (and she later earned a degree from Harvard Law School, a few years earlier than her future husband). 

In "Becoming Us," she describes how she met and eventually married Barack Obama and built a family with him. As most of us in this community have heard by now, her first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, and they used IVF to conceive both of their daughters. (I wrote about my shock of recognition when I realized Malia Obama is the same age as my Katie would have been, here -- not knowing then that Malia was an IVF baby.)  The book also discloses the tensions in the Obama marriage -- Barack, the dreamer, chased a career in politics, while practical Michelle tried to hold down the fort at home -- and how they were resolved through counselling.

"Becoming More" describes the Obamas' eight years in the White House -- the first black family to occupy a house that was (as she once noted in a speech) built by slaves. Besides some fun & fascinating behind-the-scenes tidbits about life at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, she touches on some of the key moments of her husband's presidency, her efforts to give Malia & Sasha an upbringing that was as "normal" as possible, and her own campaign to reduce childhood obesity rates -- which included the launch of a White House garden, which clearly was and is a source of enormous pride for her.

I learned so much about Michelle & her family in these pages -- and yet she leaves me wanting to know more. I guess that's a good thing, as well as a (minor) sticking point -- and of course, it's her prerogative to disclose as much or as little detail as she chooses.  (Just don't expect to hear more from her as a political candidate... she makes it very clear that is NOT going to happen, lol.)

I gave it five stars on Goodreads.

This was book #26 of 27 that I read in 2018. When I finished it, I had surpassed my 2018 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 24 books by 2 books, or 108%!  :)

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Right now

Right now... (an occasional meme, alternating from time to time with "The Current")

Reading:  I finished both "Becoming" by Michelle Obama and "I'd Rather Be Reading" by Anne Bogel while I was visiting my parents over Christmas & New Year's (reviews to come!). I closed out 2018 having read 27 books, 3 more than my Goodreads 2018 Reading Challenge goal of 24 books!  I will be keeping the same goal for 2019, and started my first book of the year, "Trumpocracy" by David Frum, on the plane ride home yesterday. 

No recent-recent purchases to report... but between the two of us, dh & I have several bookstore gift cards burning holes in our wallets...! 

Watching:  We watched "Springsteen on Broadway" on Netflix just before we left for Christmas holidays. Well worth your while (& much cheaper -- and easier to access -- than an actual ticket to his now-closed Broadway show, lol).  

I watched "Love, Gilda" on CNN last night -- & was reminded all over again how much I loved & miss Gilda Radner (& how I need to dig out her memoir again to re-read). (She & her husband, Gene Wilder, struggled to have children, before she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, which ultimately killed her at the far-too-young age of 42.) Previous Gilda-related post here

Looking forward to the return of "Victoria" and "Finding Your Roots" within the next week or so on PBS, as well as "Three Identical Strangers" on CNN later this month!  

Listening:  To the "thump-thump-thumps" from our energetic young neighbours overhead, again. (insert eye roll icon here) School here doesn't start again until Monday, which was also obvious from the number of people at the restaurant, supermarket & bookstore this morning...!  Dh was suggesting a mall visit tomorrow, but I am sure it will be pretty busy there too, so we'll see...!    

Following: The World Junior Hockey Championships (underway in Vancouver & Victoria, B.C.) and Team Canada's progress -- albeit nowhere near as obsessively as some Canadians do, lol. ;)   World Juniors always starts on Boxing Day and runs into the early new year, & has become a post-Christmas Canadian ritual. 

Drinking/Eating: Lots of water. Very dry in here (humidity was just 27% when we returned last night!);  we need to get out our humidifier -- but first, we need to get a new filter for it -- or get a new humidifier, since this one (a Honeywell) is annoyingly LOUD (even though the box billed it as "quiet"). Any recommendations for a good humidifier that's not too noisy? (& preferably not too expensive -- someone recommended a Dyson to me, but YIKES, the price...!!) We had one attached to our furnace at the house, which worked really well, but that's obviously not an option here. 

Wearing:  My new yoga pants (a gift from my parents) & Christmas-y waffle-weave PJ top from Old Navy. (Being part Ukrainian, I figure I can get away with Christmas-y stuff for another few days, lol.)  

Buying (besides books, lol): Groceries, to restock our empty cupboards & refrigerator, lol.  We had to go out for brunch this morning, because there was absolutely nothing to eat in the house, and pretty much everything was closed when we got home last night (New Year's Day = stat holiday).  (For the record, I had waffles with strawberries & whipped cream -- yum!)  

Wanting: A decent night's sleep...!  

Contemplating: What I want to do to mark my upcoming birthday... 

Worrying:  About my parents... they are still doing pretty well, but they are definitely aging, & don't manage as easily as they used to, even just a few years ago. It is hard to watch, especially when we live so far away & there's so little we can do to help from this distance. :(  

Loving: Our travel experience yesterday (from my parents' house back home, via car & air).  It was a bit of a scramble to get up early(ish) & get ready to leave my parents' house for our mid-afternoon flight (my sister & her boyfriend drove us) -- but we made excellent time to the airport (it can take up to an hour & a half, depending on traffic, but we made it in just over an hour!). Once there, we sailed through check-in and security and got our pick of seats in the waiting area (although our flight was full), and our luggage arrived on the carousel almost as soon as we reached our destination -- we usually wind up waiting for a half hour or so, so we were shocked!! (& quite pleased!).   

Enjoying: Our (artificial) Christmas tree, for just a little bit longer... 

Feeling:  Still a bit tired & dazed from our trip, adjusting to being back home again & getting back into more of a regular routine. Grateful for being able to spend another Christmas with my family. 

Monday, December 31, 2018

2018 Year in Review

Time for another Year in Review post for 2018! 

I started doing this year-end meme eight years ago -- and, although I feel like many of the answers don't change much from year to year, it's still a great way to look back and keep track. (All of my New Year's/Year in Review posts have now been tagged with the label "Year in Review.")  Feel free to use the questions on your own blog (& let me know if you do!).

1. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't really make new year's resolutions anymore -- they tend to be pretty much the same ones, year after year (although I have modified some over time, and even deleted ones that no longer apply). Here are the perennials, and the progress I made (or didn't) in 2018: 
  • Lose weight.  Alas, I am (once again) more or less the same weight as I was this time last year... I go up a few pounds, I go down, I go up again... :p 
  • Exercise more. (And hopefully lose more weight...!)  Massive fail on this one. :(  Still haven't gotten into a regular walking routine here (& probably won't even try now until the weather improves)  or found a yoga class, as I keep saying I'm going to do...!  
  • Write more in my journal (blog??). Haven't written in my paper journal in years. As for blogging, I recently marked my 11th (!!) year in this space.  And I actually did wind up writing more in my blog this year (158 posts, including this one -- an average of about 13 posts per month) than I did last year (139).  In fact, 2018 has been one of my most productive blogging years since I first hit "publish," coming second in terms of numbers of posts only to my all-time high of 172 posts in 2008, my first full year of blogging. Go figure!  
  • Read more of the books that have piled up around the house. Once again, I set myself a goal of 24 books read in 2018 (via the Goodreads reading challenge -- the same as 2017 & 2016). After failing to reach even that modest goal last year, I was happy to hit #24 by mid-November, and will finish out the year with 27 books read to my credit. (All books read were -- or soon will be -- reviewed on this blog under the tag "2018 books.")  I'm hoping to keep up (or even increase) this pace in 2019, although I will probably stick with the same target again, since it seems like a pretty realistic one for me.  
  • Keep the clutter at bay.  (Goal slightly reworded from previous years.) Having downsized from a 1,200 square foot, three-bedroom house (not including basement, garage & garden shed) to an 875-square-foot condo (plus one not-very-big storage locker) in 2016, there's a LOT less clutter than there used to be -- and a lot less space for it to accumulate. But the piles of books are growing, and I'm running out of spare hangers in the closet, which tells me it's probably time to do some weeding again...!  
  • Return to scrapbooking & complete unfinished projects. (Goal reworded from previous years.)  Sadly, I have not done any scrapbooking since fall 2009. And I donated the bulk of my scrapbooking supplies, including most of my substantial collection of pretty patterned paper, to the thrift store before we moved (sob!).  I did keep all my unfinished projects, tools & a few other things, though. (They are sitting in a couple of plastic bins down in the storage locker.) So who knows, I may pick it up again at some point in the future...    
2. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?

Enjoyed a long-anticipated and rare girls' weekend away with two former work colleagues in a part of the province I hadn't seen before. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

No. (But with two adult nephews now married, we are hoping to see some great-nieces and nephews in the not-too-very-distant future...!)(They will get no pressure from me on that front, though!)     

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, sadly, my wonderful father-in-law, at age 89 on Aug. 9th. :(     

5. What countries did you visit?

We did not leave the country in 2018.  (While the United States is less than a two-hour drive away, I have to admit, I have no great desire to cross the border while you-know-who is in charge...)  

6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?

More travel, even just day trips. More new experiences. I am very much a creature of habit, I will admit, but I do like getting out & exploring too, and whenever I do push myself to do it, I come back exhausted but also exhilarated. 

7. What date(s) from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 14th, Younger Nephew's wedding. :)  August 9th, the day FIL passed away. :(  August 5th & 7th, November 14th and other related dates -- 2018 marked 20 (!!) years since the stillbirth of my daughter. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting through FIL's diagnosis, decline, death & funeral, with all its reminders of my rollercoaster pregnancy and stillbirth, covering almost exactly the same timeframe, exactly 20 years earlier. 

9. What was your biggest failure?

Over the past several years, I've said, "Not speaking my mind enough, and drifting instead of taking the initiative to get things done that I wanted to do." Unfortunately, I think that still applies. :p   

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No -- but I'm definitely feeling older these days, with parts of me (knees in particular!) getting creakier and not working quite as well as they used to...!  :p 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Tickets to see Paul McCartney with my sister. :)  Expensive, but well worth it! 

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Tessa Virtue & Scott Moir, Canada's ice dancing sweethearts (if not each other's, lol).  Seeing them win an unprecedented second (third, if you count the team competition) gold medal at the Olympics in February was a huge moment of national pride for Canadians.  

The students of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, who turned tragedy (a mass shooting at their school by a fellow student in February) into triumph with their March For Our Lives in March, and their ongoing campaign for sensible gun laws in the U.S.   


13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? 

Donald Trump & Co.  Need I say more??  :p  

Ontario Premier Doug Ford (older and meaner brother of the late crack-smoking Toronto Mayor Rob Ford), who is following in Trump's footsteps, and sorely testing the theory that Canada is a kinder and gentler place than the United States. :p  

14. Where did most of your money go?

Beyond the usual bills -- and books, lol -- we had a few large expenses during the year.  There was our nephew's wedding (including my new dress & the alterations -- which cost as much as the dress itself! -- and  gifts -- bridal shower, wedding & housewarming).  We spent a lot more on gas & road tolls, travelling back & forth across the city more frequently over the spring/summer months to visit FIL.  And I wound up buying a new laptop and printer when my old laptop started acting up more frequently.  

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Our nephew's wedding. Seeing Paul McCartney with my sister. :)  The opening of a new subway extension at this time last year, with a station nearby, making it much easier to get downtown.  

16. What song will always remind you of 2018?

"Havana-na-na-na..."  I can't even tell you what company used that song for an ad, but it's an earworm I wish I could get rid of...!  

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

More or less the same, on all three fronts.     

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? 

Travelling. FIL's illness & passing threw a bit of a monkey wrench into even our plans to travel to see my family this summer.  And then going to see them in the fall instead precluded a trip anywhere else.  But there's always next year... 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Sitting around the house. :p 

20. How did you spend Christmas? 

As usual, we spent Christmas with my family on the Canadian Prairies, where a white Christmas is practically guaranteed! (Still here for New Year's!)  Ham dinner & presents on Christmas Eve with PND & the Little Princesses, stockings and turkey on Christmas Day. 

21. Did you fall in love in 2018? 

No. 

22. What was your favorite TV program?

We enjoyed the Thursday night lineup of The Big Bang Theory, Young Sheldon, Mom & a reboot of Murphy Brown (albeit it hasn't been quite as good as I'd hoped). 

Designated Survivor, season 2, wasn't as gripping as the first season -- but I kept watching anyway. ;)  It was cancelled by ABC, but has been picked up by Netflix. 

And I enjoyed the latest seasons of Victoria & Poldark on PBS, and The Handmaid's Tale on Bravo. 

23. Do you hate anyone now that you did not hate this time last year? 

No. 

24. What was the best book you read? 

While I didn't read a huge amount of books this year (albeit more than I did last year -- 27 -- see #1), most of the ones I did read were pretty good. As usual, I read a lot more non-fiction than fiction:  9 fiction books to 18 non. Four of those 9 novels were by my old favourite, D.E. Stevenson, for our online fan/discussion group. On the non-fiction front, I enjoyed several excellent biographies/memoirs (one of my favourite genres); feminist writing, including several books on the subject of women and anger; and several books related to current U.S. politics and the Trump presidency. 

It's always very hard for me to pick a single book as "the best," and this year, there were quite a few that would contend for that title. They would definitely include: 


  • all the books I read on women & anger (variations on the theme, all very well written and absorbing);   
  •  "Educated" by Tara Westover (my review here
  • "Prairie Fires" by Caroline Fraser (my review here). 
25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

As in the past, I must admit, I don't listen to a lot of new music. I did enjoy rediscovering Queen -- they weren't one of my favourite bands when I was growing up -- but they were THERE -- and seeing "Bohemian Rhapsody" at the movies (and being able to sing along with just about every song in it) made me realize all over again that I was soooooo lucky to grow up listening to some pretty fabulous music. :) 

26. What did you want and get?

A new computer. A white Christmas. :)  

27. What did you want and not get?

Still waiting on that sunspot vacation. ;)  (Or any kind of vacation that doesn't involve visiting family, lol.)    

28. What was your favourite film of this year? 

We saw 15 movies in the theatres in 2018 (compared to 16 in 2016 and 2017, and 23 in 2015)(listed here in the order we saw them in):  Star Wars: The Last Jedi, The Post, Darkest Hour, The Shape of Water, Black Panther, The Avengers: Infinity War, Solo: A Star Wars Story, Ocean's 8, The Incredibles 2, Christopher Robin, Crazy Rich Asians, Fahrenheit 11/9, A Star is Born, First Man, and Bohemian Rhapsody.

As with books, it's hard to pick a favourite -- we enjoyed them all!  "Bohemian Rhapsody" didn't get great critical reviews, but we both enjoyed it hugely -- also "A Star is Born" (both featuring great music!). I also enjoyed "Crazy Rich Asians," possibly even more so than the book. Nice to see a good rom-com again! :)  And while the sequels will never top the originals, I LOVED seeing Mark Hamill & Carrie Fisher again in "Star Wars: The Last Jedi." 

Least favourite? That's easy:  "The Avengers: Infinity Wars." A real downer, not at all what I expected, and NOT what I needed on Voldemort Day.  :p 

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I was 57, and it was two days before our nephew's fiancee's bridal shower. The weather was absolute crap, but I still managed to get out of the house for a manicure & pedicure, lunch & bookstore visit, and then dinner out later. :)  58 coming up shortly (!).

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A little more travel beyond the limits of the Greater Toronto Area. 

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018? 

It hasn't changed much in recent years. Comfort counts more than being fashion-forward!  Since retirement, I spend most of my days in yoga pants (or shorts, in the summer) & T-shirts, lol.  Lots of Old Navy. ;)  And they opened a Lucky Brand store at the mall near us. Love their stuff!  

32. What kept you sane?

(This question assumes sanity on my part, lol.  ;)  ) Once again this year, I would credit a good mixture of downtime at home, and getting out of the house.  We were tied to home more than usual because of FIL's illness, which added to our enjoyment of the times when we were able to get out & do a few fun things. 

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

UPDATE See #12. 

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

In last year's answer to this question, I expounded on the issue of freedom of the press and media bashing.  The shooting at the Capital Gazette in Annapolis, Maryland on June 28, and the murders of five employees (including four journalists), made me LIVID in a way I very seldom get. I could literally feel my blood pressure going through the roof as I watched the early reports on television, and wound up dosing myself with a "stress release" blend of essential oils trying to calm myself down. I was thrilled to see that they were among TIME Magazine's featured "Persons of the Year" -- "The Guardians and the War on Truth."  

The other political issue that is near & dear to my heart is the whole issue of equality and women's rights, which are (once again) under threat. It was great to see so many women elected to Congress in the U.S. midterm elections this fall!  

35. Who did you miss? 

FIL. We still go to visit stepMIL every couple of weeks, but the house feels strangely quiet & empty without him there. 

36. Who was the best new person you met?

As I answered last year, I really haven't met an awful lot of new people lately;  at least, none that I see often/regularly. I would love to have a good different answer to this question in 2019!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018. 

This year brought home to me, once again, that while the days & weeks sometimes drag, the months & years go by far too quickly. Enjoy them while you can! 

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I will have to think of this one.... 

Sunday, December 2, 2018

"Fed Up" by Gemma Hartley

My latest reading has continued on the theme of women and anger. :)  While "Rage Becomes Her" by Soraya Chemaly provided a broad sociological look at the topic and Rebecca Traister's "Good and Mad" examined women's anger from a political perspective, "Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward" by Gemma Hartley looks at women and emotional labour (and why we're justified in feeling sick and tired of doing it).  And, like those other books, it is an excellent exploration of this particular topic. :)

The book expands on Hartley's September 2017 article for Harper's Bazaar -- "Women Aren't Nags—We're Just Fed Up" -- which went viral.  The article began with an anecdote from Hartley's personal experience:  all she wanted for Mother's Day was for her husband to find a housecleaning service. It wasn't just a clean house she wanted, but (for once) not to have to do research, make phone calls, vet each service, get quotes and recommendations, make a decision, arrange payment and schedule appointments. Perhaps predictably, her husband made one call, blanched at the price, bought her a necklace and told her he would deep clean the bathroom
himself.
In his mind, he was doing the thing I had most wanted—giving me sparkling bathrooms without me having to do it myself. Which is why he was frustrated when I ungratefully passed by, not looking at his handiwork as I put away his shoes, shirt and socks that had been left on the floor. I stumbled over the large Rubbermaid storage tub of sitting in the middle of our closet. My husband had taken it down from a high shelf days before... To put it back, I had to drag a kitchen chair and drag it into our closet so I could reach the shelf where it belonged. 
“All you have to do is ask me to put it back,” he said, watching me struggle. 
It was obvious that the box was in the way and needed to be put back. It would have been easy for him to just reach up and put it away, but instead he had stepped around it, willfully ignoring it for two days. It was up to me to tell him that he should put away something he had taken out in the first place. 
“That’s the point,” I said, now in tears, “I don’t want to have to ask.” (pp. 2-3) 
Hartley's definition of emotional labour is fairly broad (much broader than Arlie Russell Hoschild, who coined the term in 1983, originally meant, as she explains in a recent article in The Atlantic)(thank you to Ellen at Miss E's Musings/South City Sadie for pointing it out to me!). Says Hartley:
Emotional labor, as I define it, is emotion management and life management combined. It is the unpaid, invisible work we do to keep those around us comfortable and happy. It envelops many other terms associated with the type of care-based labor I described in my article: emotion work, the mental load, mental burden, domestic management, clerical labor, invisible labor.  
Whether it all falls under the umbrella of "emotional labour," it's clearly labour of some kind that's primarily done by women -- and often under-recognized and under-valued.

The book is divided into three sections: emotional labour at home, emotional labour at large, and the way forward. Some of the subjects covered include societal programming and expectations; "the mother load" (how having children increases the amount of emotional labour women do, and exacerbates the divide between men & women); gatekeeping/control and perfectionism (Hartley points out that having to discuss emotional labour with our spouses is, in fact, emotional labour itself); emotional labour in the working world;  emotional labour in politics and government (including the 2016 U.S. election);  emotional labour, rape culture, abusive relationships and #MeToo; are women really better at "this stuff"? (nature vs nurture); how to talk about emotional labour with spouses;  creating awareness and finding balance.

This was a thoughtful, very readable exploration of a complex and timely topic, citing both both research and personal experience, and offering some guidance on a path forward to truly shared responsibilities, and more fulfilling, connected lives for both women and men. I gave it five stars on Goodreads.

(I previously wrote this post about emotional labour from an ALI/childless perspective.)

This was book #25 that I've read so far in 2018 -- meaning I have surpassed my 2018 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 24 books by 1 book, or 104%!  :) 

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Right now

Right now... (an occasional meme, alternating from time to time with "The Current")

Reading:  Currently reading: "Fed Up:  Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward" by Gemma Hartley. Almost finished;  review to come. :)  I've already reached my Goodreads 2018 Reading Challenge goal of 24 books! (this would be #25).

Recent purchases:
Watching:  Another season of "Poldark" is over (sniffle).  This was season 4, which brought us to the end of the first 7 books in a series of 12 by Winston Graham. The next novel in the series, "The Stranger From the Sea," takes a leap in time of 10 years and focuses more on the children of Ross & Demelza, their friends and relatives. There will be one more season of "Poldark" with the current cast (filming is now under way), but it will be set within that 10-year gap -- in other words, it will be almost entirely written from the imagination of the scriptwriters, based on clues in the later novels as to what happened during that time. (I'm assuming both the actors & the producers felt they were too young to play older versions of their characters just yet.)  This makes me a little nervous -- although it seemed to work fairly well this past season with "The Handmaid's Tale," as it went beyond the material in Margaret Atwood's novel. I guess we'll have to wait and see how it all turns out...!

Listening:  To Christmas music. I have a lot of Christmas CDs, but some of our favourites to listen to while we're decorating include A Charlie Brown Christmas (of course), Blue Rodeo's A Merrie Christmas to You, Pink Martini, and Bing Crosby.

FollowingAfter seeing the movie "Bohemian Rhapsody" recently, I looked up Queen on social media. One thing led to another and I'm now following both Brian May & Roger Taylor (guitarist & drummer), as well as the actors who played them & the other band members in the film.  Judging from their Instagram posts (and their comments on each other's posts), they seem to have had a great time filming and promoting the movie together. Among the gems I found:  a Lego version of the movie trailer (Brian May loved it), a "Wayne's World"-inspired deviation from the original "Bohemian Rhapsody" music video that didn't make it into the movie ;)  and a lifesized cardboard cutout version of the actor Ben Hardy (who played Roger Taylor in the movie), which accompanied the other celluloid band members on a promotional tour (you have to see the posts!).

Drinking/Eating: Still haven't had a Starbucks gingerbread latte yet. :)  I like to have at least one during the season. :)

Wearing:  My winter jackets again. :(  So far, though, I haven't had to pull out my boots!

Buying (besides books, lol): Christmas presents! :)  Not done yet, but I've made a good dent in the list.

Trying: To get used to LED light bulbs. There are only two 60-watt incandescent bulbs left in the house, being used in our living room lamps. :(   They are no longer being sold in Canada, and I've exhausted my stash. (Previous blog whine about the incandescent phase-out here.)

Wanting: To get to the nearby art gallery where I have a membership before one of the exhibits closes soon.

Loving: My Christmas tree, now up and decorated. :)

Feeling:  Christmas-y. :)

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

"The Marrow Thieves" by Cherie Dimaline

Mel recently wrote about the importance of diversity in our reading. One thing about book clubs, whether online or "real life," is that you sometimes find yourself exposed to reading books/authors and topics you might never have otherwise considered.

"The Marrow Thieves" by Cherie Dimaline is one of those books. I doubt I would have picked it up on my own -- but a Facebook reading group I follow recently picked it as the first selection in what we hope will become a monthly book club feature, and I decided I'd pick up a copy so that I could take part in the upcoming discussion.

"The Marrow Thieves" is young adult fiction. It's a dystopian/survivalist novel, which reminded me at times of "Never Let Me Go" and "The Hunger Games" and every book I've ever read about the Holocaust. It's also a novel by a Canadian author of Metis descent, set here in Ontario. It was published last year (2017), and has won several awards and recognition, including a Kirkus Prize and a Governor-General's Literary Award. Earlier this year, it was a selection in CBC Radio's Canada Reads program.

The plot:  Some years in the future, global warming and catastrophic climate change have wreaked havoc on the planet.  Amid the chaos, people have lost the ability to dream -- except for Indigenous peoples.  The secrets of dreaming are believed to lie in their bone marrow -- and because of that, they are being hunted down and imprisoned in "schools" -- ominous echoes of the residential schools of the 19th & 20th centuries -- where their marrow is extracted. In order to survive, the dreamers flee north, learning once again to live off the land and scavenging supplies from abandoned resorts and cottages they find along the way. The story is told from the perspective of 15-year-old Francis (Frenchie). Besides the dystopian stuff, it's about growing up, about the families we're born into and the ones we create for ourselves.

 As I said, I likely wouldn't have picked up this book on my own. I have read and enjoyed some dystopian fiction, but hiding out in the bush, etc., "survivor" style, is not exactly my "thing," and overall, it was kind of a dark story -- although there are glimmers of hope along the way, particularly near the end. The premise was interesting, and the characters were well drawn.

I rated it three stars on Goodreads.

This was book #24 that I've read so far in 2018 -- meaning I have reached my 2018 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 24 books!  (Yay me!! :)  )  Any other books I read between now & Dec. 31st will be a bonus. ;) 

Saturday, November 17, 2018

"Good and Mad" by Rebecca Traister

Gotta love that cover...! ;) 
Since the 2016 election of Donald Trump, the explosion of #MeToo in the public consciousness, and (more recently) the Senate justice committee hearings that elevated Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, people have (finally??) noticed: there are a LOT of really, REALLY angry women out there. (Moreover, they have a lot of really good reasons to be angry.)

Several recent books have added fuel to the discussion, including "Rage Becomes Her" by Soraya Chemaly (which I recently read & reviewed, here), and "Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger" by Rebecca Traister, which I picked up immediately after finishing Chemaly's book (which was published a few weeks earlier).  Beyond my interest in the timely subject matter, I've read & enjoyed Traister's two previous books, "All the Single Ladies" and "Big Girls Don't Cry" (reviewed on this blog, here and here).

The books obviously share some similarities in subject matter. But while Chemaly's book takes a broad, sociological look at women & anger, Traister's has a more specific focus: in her own words, "this is about the specific nexus between women's anger and American politics, about how the particular dissatisfactions and resentments of America's women have often ignited movements for social change and progress." (p. xviii)

"In the United States, we have never been taught how noncompliant, insistent, furious women have shaped our history and our present, our activism and our art,"  Traister comments. "We should be." 

Traister leads us on a journey through American political history and current events: the early suffragists, second-wave feminists like Gloria Steinem & Florynce Kennedy, Shirley Chisholm, Barbara Lee, Phyllis Schlafly and the defeat of the Equal Rights Amendment, Anita Hill, the subsequent "Year of the Woman,"  Pat Schroeder, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, Maxine Waters, Elizabeth Warren ("nevertheless, she persisted"), Michelle Wolff, Thelma & Louise, Harvey Weinstein (Traister has her own personal Weinstein story to tell) and #MeToo, Parkland and Emma Gonzalez and March for our Lives; and so much more. She write about how women of colour have led the way in so many progressive movements that have benefited all Americans, about the (mostly white) women who cling to the proximal benefits of patriarchy, and the male backlash and discomfort with women's anger: 
Rose McGowan, one of Weinstein's earliest and most vociferous accusers, recalled being asked "in a soft NPR voice, 'What if what you're saying makes men uncomfortable?' Good. I've been uncomfortable my whole life. Welcome to our world of discomfort.” (p. 199)
As someone who has a difficult time making decisions, this passage was an "ah-ha" moment of recognition for me: 
Erin Vilardi, the head of VoteRunLead, which trains and supports women running for state and local office... also noted that until recently, women have had no road map for what to do with their resentments and furies. "Women are not allowed to scream from podiums, not allowed to slam doors in workplaces," she said, acknowledging that this expressive limit is part of what's earned women the reputation as more benevolent bosses. "But that's bullshit," she went on. "Because if you look at all those studies about how women are better bosses, they're better at everything except in areas of decisiveness, and that's because we don't get to have that split-second, I'm-the-goddamn-boss-that's-why gut reaction. We have zero role modeling in channeling our anger into decisiveness or 'That's just the way he is' stuff people said about Harvey Weinstein. We don't get any of those passes." (p. 221-222)
Near the end, Traister writes about the bonds women have formed as they channel their anger into activism:
This is one of anger's most important roles: it is a mode of connection, a way for women to find each other and realize their struggles and frustrations are shared, that they are not alone, not crazy. If they are quiet, they will remain isolated. But if they howl in rage, someone who shares their fury might hear them, might start howling along. This is, of course, partly why those who oppress women work to stifle their anger. (p. 230)
As I read this section, I thought about how this applies to us in ALI-land, too -- how our hurt and anger over the injustice of our losses, and how we are treated (ignored) by the fortunate fertile in a pronatalist world, has led us to find each other and use our individual and collective voices to comfort each other -- and work towards change, in both small and big ways. 

I closed this book feeling exhilarated.  My copy is covered in yellow post-it notes.

I gave Chemaly's book five stars on Goodreads, and I gave this one five stars as well. I loved both books. Both would rank among the best books that I've read this year, I think. If I had to give the edge to one over the other, I would probably pick this one, simply because I am a bit of a political junkie ;)  and I also really like Traister's writing.  But they are both excellent, and both deserve to be read, discussed, pondered -- and acted upon. I highly recommend them both. :) 

(You might enjoy this review of both books -- by a male critic -- from the Washington Post.) 

This was book #23 that I've read so far in 2018, bringing me to 96% of my 2018 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 24 books.  I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 2 books ahead of schedule to meet my goal. :)

Sunday, November 4, 2018

"Rage Becomes Her" by Soraya Chemaly

This past summer, I heard about several new books coming out in the fall, dealing with the subject of women & anger. I assumed the surge of interest in this topic stemmed from the 2016 U.S. election and what has transpired since then.

The first book I saw & bought from this list was "Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger" by Soraya Chemaly. I started reading it the week of the Kavanagh confirmation hearings -- and Christine Blasey Ford's powerful testimony to the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee. Timely or what?

The pages of my copy are covered in yellow post-it notes and dog-eared (when no post-its were handy).

The message of "Rage Becomes Her" is that women are angry -- that we have a right to be angry -- and that we shouldn't be afraid of that anger, or suppress it (as the powers that be would prefer).  Instead, Chemaly encourages us to listen to our anger, and use it productively as a tool to fight against injustice (both personal and political) and create positive change.

"Rage Becomes Her" is an exhaustive, well-researched and well-documented recounting of the many reasons WHY women might feel anger & rage, how that anger & rage has traditionally manifested itself, and the resulting consequences.  It covers a broad spectrum of topics under that umbrella:  how boys and girls are taught from an early age to manage and view anger in different ways, how anger manifests itself physically in women's bodies, "the caring mandate" and how women wound up taking care of everyone else around them, harassment and power dynamics, everyday sexism and discrimination, the importance of women's speech and women's stories,  #MeToo, and (yes) Donald Trump (among other things).  In the final chapter, "A Rage of Your Own," Chemaly suggests ways to develop "anger competence" -- (as opposed to "anger management" -- which implies that anger must be controlled or reined in).

Most interesting from an ALI perspective -- there is an entire chapter on "mother rage" -- the issue of anger as it pertains not only to motherhood but a broad range of reproductive issues -- including birth control, the complex entanglement of "woman" and "mother,"  pregnancy-related complications and deaths, post-partum depression, maternal ambivalence and regret, abortion rights -- AND infertility, loss and both voluntary and involuntary childlessness.

There was much in this chapter that resonated.  These reflections about childfree women could also apply to those of us for whom childlessness was not our first choice:
Despite pressures and objections, more women today are deliberately choosing not to have children than ever before. A child-free woman is never given the freedom from social opprobium that a child-free man is, however. The choice not to have children inevitably means being shamed, insulted, and even bullied, often by family members.  Women who make this decision have to deal with insensitive "jokes," most hiding a genuine discomfort and hostility, about ticking clocks, being cat ladies, or not being "real" women. And people, apparently unable to see themselves clearly in a mirror, ask why more women today are choosing to be child-free. (p. 113)
And there's this passage:
The pressure women feel to be mothers or to fulfill ideals of maternal care, however, is perhaps most powerful, onerous, and painful for women who experience infertility, pregnancy loss, or the death of a child. These experiences can be filled with sadness, exhaustion, guilt, and remorse that are compounded by crushing social silence around loss.  
Roughly 10 per cent of women in the United States experience infertility, and a large number pursue lengthy, physically grueling, and expensive procedures to conceive. Anger can feel like a constant companion in the face of frustration with your body, financial stresses, and the unintentional insensitivity of friends, family, and strangers. It is an almost certain and predictable outcome of dealing with endless tests, schedules, sex on demand, insurance requirements, and interference with work.  (pp. 114-115)
And this:
Women often endure infertility, pregnancy, infant loss, miscarriages, and stillbirths in isolation, because while sadness is a socially palatable response to these often life-altering events, rage, frustration, jealousy, and guilt are not. Some women are able to respond to miscarriages with little or no grief. However, many feel deep despair, with some saying that their feelings of anger and sadness far exceed what most people understand. It is common for women to feel as though they are careening between anger, envy, and sadness from day to day. It is very difficult to talk about how angry and full of shame these losses can make us. When having a baby is seen as a type of success, then not having a baby is a failure that can fill us with feelings of inadequacy. (p. 115) 
(There's more -- read for yourself!)

I also thought of the ALI community while reading a discussion of "just world" theory, which I remember several bloggers (Mel? Pamela?) have written about:
System justification is the name given to the emotional and cognitive process that kicks in when a person encounters information or behaviors that challenge their sense of self and world view.  According to system justification and what is called just-world theory,  when evidence suggests the world is not a just place, people with this orientation seek to reassert fairness either by ignoring dissonant information or by blaming people for the ills that befall them. (p. 232)
(Sound familiar?)

I don't think women will find this book too surprising, overall.  On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that most men would learn a few things, if they bothered to read it. (They should.)("If men knew how truly angry the women around them often are -- and understood the structures enforcing women's silence -- they would be staggered,"  Chemaly writes (p.xix).)  For me, personally -- as someone who finds it very difficult to express anger openly, and usually winds up dissolving into tears of frustration (albeit I've noticed I'm becoming less inhibited as I age...!) -- it was familiar territory -- and yet still full of ah-ha/lightbulb/"click" moments, as well as validating moments of recognition and "me too."

I gave"Rage Becomes Her" five stars on Goodreads.  This is an important and timely book that deserves to be widely read, discussed and acted upon.

Related books in my gargantuan TBR pile:
And, coming soon: 
This was book #22 that I've read so far in 2018, bringing me to 92% of my 2018 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 24 books.  I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 2 books ahead of schedule to meet my goal. :)