#MicroblogMondays: Childless Woodstock* :)

Back in August 1969, half a million kids -- the oldest children of the post-WWII baby boom -- some of whom were regarded by their families and communities and the media of the day as long-haired freaks -- descended on a dairy farm in upstate New York for what was billed as "three days of peace, love and music."  They took a look around in awe, at all these other long-haired freaky kids just like themselves, and realized they were not only not alone, they were a force to be reckoned with. They had power.  They called themselves "Woodstock Nation."  

Maybe I'm stretching things here just a bit ;)  but I feel like I just spent the weekend at the childless equivalent of Woodstock* (minus the drugs & the mud, lol), being inspired and empowered and (yes) entertained by the rock stars of our community -- a community that some people didn't even know existed until they showed up and looked at all the other people around them -- all of us outsiders in both the parenting and infertility communities that envelop us (and sometimes threaten to smother us) -- and realized that we, too, are a force to be reckoned with -- on average, representing one in five people (20%!) in any given developed country.  

For most of the past four days, I've been sitting in front of my laptop, bleary-eyed and slightly delirious, basking in the company of my peeps -- 2,700!!! childless-not-by-choice women (and a few men)!!! -- at the online Childless Collective Summit, organized by Katy of Chasing Creation.  (I also crammed in a Gateway Women Zoom cafe within the GW private community, a quarterly online gathering of childless elders organized by Gateway Women's Jody Day, plus a private Zoom call with some ALI blogging friends thrown in for good measure, lol.)  

I closed my laptop on Sunday night feeling both exhausted and exhilarated (and if *I'm* exhausted, I can't imagine how Katy is feeling this morning...!!), and thinking that perhaps (finally! finally!!), we too are on the verge of becoming a force to be reckoned with. 

You guys, I have been consciously living without children for almost 20 years now, and blogging for more than 13 of those years. 2,700 may not be quite half a million strong (yet!!) -- but!!! 20 years ago -- even 13 (or 10, or 5) years ago -- the idea that there would be 2,700 of us gathered together (online, but hey, pandemic...), talking openly to each other about our childless-not-by-choice experiences, sharing hopes and fears and tears, exchanging social media handles and other contact details, and organizing Facebook groups and regular Zoom meetups -- and that there would be so many amazing speakers, representing so many different aspects of our shared experiences, providing wisdom and guidance -- it would have been -- it was -- it is! -- absolutely, completely MINDBLOWING. 

I'm normally a bit shy, even among other childless women -- and I find it hard to venture outside of my comfort zones -- but I found myself commenting on some of the summit Facebook posts and in the chats and sharing some of the knowledge and resources I've accumulated over the past 20 years. I posted the link to this blog in a couple of places, inviting people to come check it out -- using my own/real name, even! -- which would NOT have happened 13 years ago, lol.  I ventured into an online/Zoom social hour, partly because I'd never been in a Zoom session that used breakout rooms, and I was curious how it would work. It was a lot of fun -- in the first breakout group, I wound up with Melissa Jones of Live Childfree, with whom I've chatted online previously;  in the second, three of the five of us turned out to live in or near Toronto. What are the odds? 

Yes, I've been hanging around childless online forums for 20 years now, and a lot of the ideas presented were familiar to me (disenfranchised grief, pronatalism...), but I still found myself getting teary-eyed at certain points in some of the presentations.  Many of the presenters were familiar to me too (and I think I could even call a few of them friends  ;) ) -- Jody Day, Lisa Ann Kissane, Lesley Pyne, Justine Froelker, Yvonne John, Kate Kaufmann, Tracey Cleantis Dwyer, Erik & Melissa Jones, Stephanie Phillips -- but some were not, and it was great to be introduced to these vibrant new voices.  

Katy said her goals for the summit included sharing resources, creating community and helping us feel supported. She achieved that in spades!  It was great for me, as a "veteran" (dare I say? -- gulp -- "elder"??) -- but I can only imagine how great it must have been for the many younger women attending who are only just starting to grapple with the reality of a childless life, who had never heard of some of the wonderful speakers and communities and ideas/concepts and books and other resources that were shared during the summit.  

If you missed out on the fun, extended access passes are still available for at least a few more weeks that will grant you access to all the summit presentations (plus other goodies). Personally, I am really glad I purchased one, because although I managed to sit in on most of the presentations/chats as they unfolded live, there were some I missed, and some I will definitely want to revisit. 

I have a few other thoughts that I jotted down during the summit that may or may not become future posts.... if/when I can gather my thoughts, I'll share those with you too!  

Did you attend the summit?  What did you think? 

(Of course, adoption, loss and infertility (ALI) bloggers (including those of us now living without children) already know the power of community, thanks to people like Melissa at Stirrup Queens, who has been creating a community among us for almost 15 years now through her blog and regular features such as the Friday Blog Roundup and... #MicroblogMondays. :)  ) 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

*  I cannot take credit for the Woodstock allusion... someone (I'm not sure who) mentioned Woodstock in one of the summit session chats, and it stuck with me as I started to write this post. Thank you for the inspiration, whoever you are!