Family Day 2011

It's Monday, but dh & I are enjoying a lazy day at home. It's a long weekend for us -- a relatively new (and most welcome!) phenomenon for us in Ontario during the dreary month of February. And while I will happily enjoy any day off that the powers that be see fit to bestow upon us, it still rankles that this one has been labelled "Family Day." I'm sure I'm not the only person in this province whose family situation doesn't quite fit the socially approved ideal of a mom, dad & 2.2 kids and who wishes the politicians who invented this holiday had come up with a different name. Even without the angst about my family situation (or lack thereof, depending on how you want to define "family"), to me, "Family Day" smacks of politics, of pandering to the "family values" crowd. (Right now, case in point, I'm watching the suppertime news, with each of the three political leaders preaching about what they will do for Ontario's "families." Ugh.)

I did a quick Google News search, & was heartened to see I'm not the only one who thinks the name needs something to be desired. As the Toronto Sun says, "Great holiday. Name needs work."

"This is a small thing, but it's a powerful recognition of our priorities," [Ontario Premier Dalton] McGuinty told reporters at the time. "There is nothing more valuable to families than time together."

Well, he would say that, wouldn't he?

With nine brothers and sisters, and four adult children, his family can field a football team and have one left to ride the bench.

Not everyone is so lucky.

Family Day #1 2008
Family Day #2 2009
Family Day #3 2010

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So, being that I have the day off, I tuned into Oprah this afternoon. I doubt that Oprah knows that it's "Family Day" in Ontario (as well as Alberta), but -- as if to rub salt into the wound -- her special guests today included Celine Dion (with several lovingly photographed segments featuring her new twins), as well as a family of SEXTUPLETS from Columbus, Ohio (the mom previously lost twins to premature labour). The sextuplets went home with $250,000 in store credit from their local Wal-Mart, and Mom & Dad got a belated honeymoon in Vegas in the best suite at Caesar's Palace, with front-row seats to Celine's new show there.

I've probably written about this before, but I have a love-hate relationship with Celine. I'm not a particular fan of her singing. Both the music & her personality are a little over the top for my tastes. I find myself cringing at her willingness to share every last detail of her personal life. She was going through infertility treatment at the same time I was -- and I remember standing in line for my ultrasound at the clinic, hearing one of her songs on the radio, & muttering to the woman in line next to me, "I'll bet SHE doesn't have to line up at her clinic at 7 a.m. with her butt hanging out the back of a gown."

And yet, I think she's genuine -- there's nothing artificial about her. She's Canadian : ) and there is no doubt that she loves her family (and she has a LOT of extended family to love!). And if all her oversharing about her desire to have children, her many IVFs, her miscarriage, brings some level of infertility awareness to a few more people in this world, I guess that's a good thing.

*** *** ***

We've been in our house almost 21 years. Katie's been gone almost 13 years, & we're coming up to the 10-year mark of our decision to stop infertility treatment.

During all this time, our spare bedroom has stood as a kind of symbol of our thwarted plans & dreams -- of how our life sort of screeched to a standstill for awhile (& is still sometimes struggling to get back up to full speed). It's the smallest bedroom in the house (the third is our office/junkroom) & the one we had designated for the nursery (it was the baby's room for the previous owners, too). We never did much with it after we moved in, because we were expecting to decorate for a baby, sooner of later.

But it's been years since we (more or less) accepted that it wasn't going to be the baby's room, & still haven't done much with it.

The room is furnished with our very first bed (double mattress & boxspring on a frame, no headboard), and a cheapo, particleboard chest of drawers & night table that dh had in his student apartment. There's not much room for much more. The bedspread on the bed was the very first one that was on the bed (courtesy of dh's aunts) when we arrived home from our honeymoon -- an embroidered organza over taffeta confection that was still pretty, but increasingly becoming shredded.

For the longest time, I've been wanting to do something with that room. I thought that finding a new bedspread would be a good start -- but I haven't been able to find one that I liked -- at least, at a price that I liked. I wasn't going to spend more on a bedspread for the spare bedroom than I would spend on my own room.

Yesterday, we went to the mall & I went to investigate the white sale at one of the department stores. I stumbled onto a bedding set that I finally thought would do the trick. Comforter, bedskirt & pillow shams. Not the greatest quality, but good enough, for the amount of use it will get (we don't get a lot of overnight guests). Best of all: it was originally just $79.99 (a price I would have thought quite reasonable in any case), but it was marked down to $39.99. AND it was a scratch & save weekend, so I got an extra 10% off on top of that. All told, my new bedding set cost about $40, including taxes. Not bad!!

Dh helped me to move the mattress off the boxspring & put on the bedskirt, then make up the rest of the bed. We still need new furniture (again, nothing expensive, but I think we can do better than what we have), lamps & curtains/valance, but it's a start.




*** *** ***

To end off, a meaningful quote (brought to my attention by another childless-not-by-choice friend):

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." ~ Fr. Alfred D'Souza

Odds & ends

Mrs. Spit had a beautiful post earlier today about the garden she's created for her son Gabriel, and the recent purchases she's made to include and honour her four other miscarried babies there.

I didn't want to say so in my comments there, but her post reminded me of a garden stone I saw a few years ago in a Hallmark store. The inscription?

"We tried. It died."

It cracked me up -- not only as a succinct explanation for my lack of a green thumb, but also my lack of offspring. Imagine the looks on people's faces if we provided THAT as a response for the "do you have kids? why not?" questions!! (OK, I have a warped sense of humour...)

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Another one of my work colleagues left us recently to take early retirement (and boy, I am I jealous...!!). She sent out a mass farewell e-mail that ended in a striking quote, & I Googled it to find the source (Sarah Ban Breathnach):

"When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present -- love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure -- the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience Heaven on earth."

I think that's going up with the others on my sidebar. ; )

*** *** ***

The Toronto Star published a story today about a new, time-limited exhibit at the Royal Ontario Museum (affectionately known by locals as "the ROM," pronounced "rom"): the mummified remains of a 2,000-year-old Egyptian baby, which has not been publicly displayed since the 1950s.

One sentence in particular struck me:

"According to the ROM, the well-preserved shroud’s colourful symbols and images speak of parental love and show the baby being embraced by the jackal god Anubis while a grieving parent makes offerings to its spirit."

Plus ca change...

I encourage you to watch the video attached to the story. It brought tears to my eyes -- not so much the sight of the mummies themselves, touching as they are, but the Egyptologist's comments about how common it was for the ancient Egyptians to lose a child, and their belief in the afterlife and in maintaining an ongoing relationship with the dead. I think we (not so much we, who have lost children, but we, the general public today) have a lot to learn from them!

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I recently went into my closet to look for one of my infertility books. (Yes, I keep my infertility in the closet -- both literally and figuratively, lol). I got rid of a LOT of my infertility & pregnancy books years ago -- donated them to our pregnancy loss support group -- but I did keep some favourites stored in a plastic carton in my closet, including my "souvenir" copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

I didn't expect to find the well-worn folder containing ALL my temp charts -- months & months worth. Or a fat stack of pamphlets I collected at an IVF seminar I attended, organized by a local infertility support group. I honestly thought I had tossed this stuff eons ago.

I threw the pamphlets into the recycling bin, & had dh shred the temp charts. I tend to be a packrat, but I honestly didn't feel the slightest pang as I heard the shredder whirring.

I did, however, feel a pang when I pulled my treatment diaries -- stuffed with receipts from our RE's office and other paraphernalia -- out of the box. I haven't looked at them in years. Those, I'm not prepared to part with yet (maybe ever).

It occurred to me that while I wrote in great detail about my pregnancy with Katie & its immediate aftermath, I haven't written a whole lot about what came afterward -- our struggle through infertility treatment. And I'm fast approaching the 10-year mark of when we made the decision to stop treatment & continue to live childless/free. It occurred to me that there was probably fodder for a post or two (or 10, lol) in there.

So the diaries are sitting with my other reading material in a pile beside my bed. One of these days, I'll get up the nerve to delve into that part of my past once again & share some of it with you. (One of these days...)

February 8th: The beginning & the end...

It's February 8th again. And although the date doesn't have quite the same power over me that it once did, I can't help but pause for a moment and think about it.

February 8th, 1998: my "LMP date," forever associated in my memory as the beginning of my pregnancy with Katie. 13 years. Yes, we're hitting the teens now (eek).

This was the day my life changed (although of course I didn't know it at the time). The day my roller coaster ride began.

It was the beginning of something wonderful: a baby, the future unfolding as we hoped it would, as it should.

It was the beginning of something incredibly tragic and sad: the loss of a baby, hopes & dreams shattered and crushed.

I knew (once I knew the significance of the date) that it was the beginning of the end of my old, pre-pregnancy self.

I just didn't know it would be the beginning of the end of my dreams of a family, too.

In many ways, my life is very much the same as it was on February 7, 1998. And in many ways, it most certainly is very different. Just not "different" in the way I envisioned it in the spring of 1998, or before that, or even for awhile afterwards.

I imagine there are many people out there who haven't lost a baby or been through infertility, whose lives are also much different today than they were or had imagined in February 1998 -- for the better in some ways, for the worse in others. Life is like that.

But that doesn't mean that you ever stop wondering, at least once in awhile, why it had to be this way, and how different things might have been, if only...

February 8, 2010

February 8, 2009

February 8, 2008

Book: "I'm Taking My Eggs & Going Home" by Lisa Manterfield

I think I found the blog Life Without Baby sometime last summer. As always, I love finding new blogs & websites aimed at women like me, who are trying to carve out a meaningful life after loss & infertility... and I quickly became a fan of Lisa Manterfield's keen and witty observations about childless living.

So I was happy to read this fall that she had written a book. It was the very first book that I downloaded to my brand-new Kobo e-reader (which I promptly lost -- & blogged about here!) & also ordered the book just as soon as it became available on Amazon.

"I'm Taking My Eggs and Going Home" is a welcome addition to the small but growing niche of infertility books written by & about women who wanted and planned to become mothers someday, but wound up taking a ride on the ALI merry-go-round -- & getting off without having grabbed the brass ring of motherhood.

Needless to say, I was predisposed to like this book from the start -- and it did not disappoint -- starting with the unforgettable, sassy title & whimsical cover photo. : )

As you might expect, even though I estimate she's a decade younger than me, I recognized a lot of myself in Lisa's story (although there were significant differences too). For example, Lisa describes how her mother used to use a needle swinging from a thread over a woman's bare palm to determine how many children she'd have, and how many of each gender. I had this done many times in my younger days & the result was always the same: two boys and a girl. Consistent, yes; correct, no. ; ) Reading about Jose's Latino family & their exuberant weddings reminded my of my own Italian husband (the spoiled firstborn male cousin on both sides of his family, & the only boy for several years) and in-laws.

Born & raised in England, Lisa grew up assuming she would be a mother one day (so did I, although I was born & raised in Canada). Like me, however, she also grew up assuming that she would get an education, establish a career, experience something of life, and find Mr. Right before settling down & having a child.

After spending her 20s with a couple of Mr. Wrongs, moving to California, hitting her 30s and realizing her biological clock is ticking, Lisa's Mr. Right finally shows up. Jose had a vasectomy after producing two children (now adults) during his first marriage (a not uncommon scenario among many involuntarily childless women I've encountered over the years), but undergoes a successful reversal. Thus begins Lisa & Jose's journey to possible parenthood, which follows a path familiar to those of us who have struggled with infertility -- that is, it takes us to some pretty strange places where, gradually, we find ourselves doing things we never, ever thought we would do.

Lisa decides, after visiting a fertility clinic early in her journey, that IVF was not for her -- and, perhaps admirably, perhaps foolishly -- she sticks to her guns. (I never did IVF either.) But she tries everything else, from diet and yoga to accupuncture and Chinese medicine. As her dream of having a biological child begins to fade, she & Jose explore adoption and foster parenting. Ultimately, they decide these routes are not for them either.

I don't think I'm giving too much away if I say that the ending, where an emotional visit to a cemetery helps Lisa come to terms with her childlessness, had me reaching for the Kleenex. I enjoyed this book tremendously, and look forward to reading more from Lisa in the future.

For a slightly different take on this book, you can read reviews from Pamela (who wrote a kick-ass, award-winning book of her own about her personal journey to childfree living, Silent Sorority) & Lily.

Odds & ends, postscripts & followups

Thank you so much for the birthday wishes! I started the day off by getting my blood pressure checked (!)(120/80, woohoo!), spent a few hours at the spa getting pampered, retrieved my brand-new Kobo e-reader from the transit lost & found (more on that further down -- there are, apparently, still honest people left in the world), & had steaks with dh for dinner at one of our favourite restaurants.

Oh yes, & dh gave me a pair of garnet & diamond earrings (garnets are my birthstone). I had hinted that I would like some birthstone jewelry for this milestone birthday, and he picked up on it. Together with the Swarovski butterfly he gave me for Christmas, he is really knocking them out of the ballpark these days...!



Saturday night, we went over to FIL's to celebrate his 82nd birthday. BIL & family were also there... and surprise! It was also a birthday celebration for me too. : ) I got to share the cake with FIL, and got some presents too. Oldest nephew's girlfriend brought me a beautiful potted orchid plant. And SIL handed me a gift bag. Inside were three smaller enclosures -- from Pandora (eek). There is a Pandora shop close to where I work & I've seen a few women wearing their bracelets, but avoided even looking there, because I knew it was pricey stuff.
BIL & SIL gave me a silver bracelet & started me off with a birthday cake charm. Oldest nephew & his girlfriend gave me an angel charm (!). And youngest nephew (a philosophy student) gave me a jolly looking miniature Buddha, lol.


I was quite floored. When I tried to say thank you, BIL said, "No, thank YOU for everything you've done for the boys." Sniffle.

*** *** ***

As mentioned above, I got a Kobo e-reader for Christmas. And promptly lost it the first time I took it with me to work. :( Dh was working late that night, so I took the train & then the bus home by myself, and was reading the Kobo on both. Slid it into its leather case as we got close to my stop, & then into the side pocket of my briefcase, which was sitting on the seat beside me.
At least, I thought it went into the briefcase. When I got home -- NO KOBO. I looked in every nook & cranny of my briefcase, retraced my steps inside the house since I got home, nothing. I was certain it was gone forever, but thought I'd try calling the lost & found the next day, just in case.
And it was there! Kind of restored my faith in humanity. : ) The only annoyance: the lost & found was located at the transit office in the next town over from ours, & office hours were 7:30-4:30, Monday to Friday. Not exactly convenient for me. So I wound up spending part of my birthday travelling there to retrieve my Kobo. Better than having to ask for time off, I guess.

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Adding to my dismay over losing my Kobo: wouldn't you know it? The book I was reading was this one:


(a) It was a great book, & I wanted to keep reading!!
(b) As the last thing I was reading before I lost my reader, the cover was prominently displayed on the Kobo screen. I sort of felt like a teenager trying to claim my lost box of condoms from the teacher, lol. :p ; ) Fortunately, nobody asked me to identify what I'd been reading, & nobody mentioned it when I went to pick the thing up at the lost & found.

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I did not think e-readers would be for me -- & I can't see myself giving up "real" books entirely (especially when I have PILES of unread ones lying around the house, erk...!), but I am rather enjoying mine. "I'm Taking My Eggs" is the first book I've downloaded (& I hope to have a review shortly), although the Kobo comes pre-loaded with 100 classic titles. I got one for me & one for dh, with a particular eye to reducing our excess luggage weight when we travel. We normally bring along at least two or three books each for a one week vacation -- often hardcovers -- & they can really add to the weight -- & the airlines are getting stickier all the time about excess poundage.

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Kobo incident aside, one more signal that I'm aging &/or losing my mind: on Friday, in a rush to leave the house (as usual), I grabbed the top pair of black shoes in the pile on the closet floor & stuffed them into my briefcase. When I got to work, I unpacked my briefcase, put on my shoes & started walking to the water cooler to fill my water bottle.
Something about my shoes felt weird. I looked down. They were dh's shoes!! I guess he had tossed them on top of my pile when he got in the night before, & I just grabbed them without looking. Serves me right, I guess.
I dined out on that story for the rest of the day. (I posted it on Facebook, & stepSIL told me she read it on her cellphone at 3 a.m. & cracked up.) They weren't a bad fit, but I spent most of my time at my desk in stocking feet, lol. It was either that or wear my snow boots all day -- and I HATE wearing my snow boots indoors any longer than I have to.

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In my hurry to post my thoughts about the diversity & inclusion workshop I attended recently, I managed to leave out the most important part: the end. The facilitator wrapped up an already-thought-provoking session by telling us his personal story & why he does the work he does -- & there was a flurry of Kleenex by the time he finished speaking. There is a video clip on his personal website.
One thing he said to us which he didn't say on the video was how his mother used to tell him, "You're a tall tree, and tall trees can withstand strong winds." And he added that the tall trees shelter the smaller trees, until they grow strong enough to withstand the winds on their own.
I thought about it again after reading the transcript of President Obama's speech in Tucson this past week -- particularly the part where he said, "Let us use this occasion to expand our moral imaginations, to listen to each other more carefully, to sharpen our instincts for empathy, and remind ourselves of all the ways our hopes and dreams are bound together.... We may not be able to stop all evil in the world, but I know that how we treat one another is entirely up to us."
It made me think of Melissa, & the work she does to bring our ALI community together, and Kumbaya. : )

*** *** ***

Craig Kielburger -- who became an activist & founded an organization called Free the Children when he was all of TWELVE YEARS OLD and has appeared on Oprah -- was the special guest speaker at a company-sponsored event on Friday at lunchtime. He was an amazing speaker -- still isn't even 30 yet. Made me feel that I have accomplished absolutely nothing worthwhile in my life to date, lol... but I digress.
He talked about how companies like mine are recognizing the fact that we are not just employees, that our life is not just our work at the office, that we are members of broader communities. "You're a mother, a father," he said.
And then he added, "You're an aunt, an uncle."
I could have hugged the guy for going beyond the obvious appeal to parents. Thanks, Craig. : )

The Fabulous 50 Meme, Part 2

Continuing from yesterday:

26. What do you normally smell like? Zest soap. : ) I used to wear perfume a lot, but so many places these days are scent free that I've gotten out of the habit, although I still have a lot of different bottles on top of my dresser. My "signature scent" was always Fidji by Guy Laroche. A girlfriend gave me a bottle when we were in university & I loved it. It's hard to find these days, though.

27. Do you like Carrie Underwood? She's OK. She can sing!

28. Been to “The Vegas”? No. But I think I'd like to go, someday. I'm not much of a gambler, but I'd like to see some of the shows, & I hear the shopping is great. ; )

29. How far away do you live from your parents? Two hours by air & an hour by car. Driving all the way nonstop would take about 30-35 hours. Never tried it, although I made the trip with my parents once, before dh & I were married. We came here via the States, driving through northern Minnesota, Wisconsin & Michigan (the Upper Peninsula). It took us three long days, heading home the Canadian route, over the top of Lake Superior -- stopped overnight in Sault Ste. Marie & Thunder Bay. There were spots along the way that were so remote we couldn't even tune in a radio station.

30. Are you happy with your job? Mostly.

31. Where do you work and what do you do there? I work for one of Canada's major chartered banks as a writer in the corporate communications area. I started as a writer for the staff magazine & branched out from there. These days I work mostly on executive communications and projects, including the annual report, which is a huge & highly stressful undertaking. :p

32. What did you get in the mail today? Two magazines, cellphone bill, and some junk mail/flyers.

33. How do you like your steak cooked? Medium well.

34. Britney Spears…is she back? Don't think so.

35. What do you usually order at Taco Bell? Never been to Taco Bell. Not likely to, either, with my problems with tomatos & peppers. :p

36. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind? Several times! In the theatre & on TV. (It really does deserve to be seen on a big screen.)

37. Have you ever been to Mt Rushmore? No.

38. Is it just me, or was The Marine (w/John Cena) a really horrible movie? Never even heard of it.

39. Are surveys/memes like the cocaine of the internet? Probably! ; )

40. Where is your favorite place (that you have actually been to)? Cannon Beach, Oregon -- been there three times (1993, 2001 & 2005). But I think Lake Louise, Alberta, & Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia, would come close.

41. What is your favorite candle scent? I don't burn a lot of scented candles, but I do like vanilla.

42. Do you believe places can really be haunted? Not sure.

43. Do you smoke cigarettes? No, thank goodness. Of course I dabbled in high school, but thank goodness that habit did not take hold. Both my father & sister smoke, & I so wish they didn't.

44. Have you ever been to NYC or LA? No.

45. How many states have you been to where all you saw was the airport? None, or provinces either, for that matter. I did spend just six hours in Quebec City once, on business.

46. Do you think 50 questions is enough? For now!

47. Are you currently planning a trip? Looking at brochures, no decisions yet.

48. Is Ryan Seacrest gay? Should anyone care? Not really, I sure don't!

49. Do you take anti-depressants? Sleeping pills? No. I did have a prescription for Ativan 10 years ago, when I had just finished infertility treatment & was having problems with anxiety attacks. I never finished the bottle, but it was good to know it was in my purse if I really needed it.

50. What do you think about space travel? It's an amazing accomplishment, especiallyy when you think of the technology they were working with when they put a man on the moon. Kind of sad to see how the space program has sort of stalled out. For me personally? I think I'll stay on the ground, lol.

The Fabulous 50 Meme, Part 1

Kristin at Dragondreamer's Lair did this two-part meme awhile back, & I filed it away as something I might do in the future. "The Fabulous 50 Meme" seemed like the perfect way to mark my (gulp) 50th birthday -- so here it is! Part 2 tomorrow. Feel free to lift this, but let me know if you do; I would love to read your answers!


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1. Introduce yourself... I'm Lori. Smalltown Prairie girl, born & bred, now living in the suburbs & working in the Big Smoke. Original ambition was to write books, then to be an ace newspaper reporter. Settled for a gig in corporate communications. ; ) Married 25 years to my dh. Bereaved mother of Katie, stillborn 12 years ago after several years of ttc. Unable to conceive again, even with the help of Clomid, Gonal-F and IUIs. Decided at age 40 to leave fertility treatment behind and continue to live without children.


2. If it’s Wednesday at noon, where are you usually? Probably at my desk at work, starting to think about what I should do about lunch -- what to eat, & what errands, if any, I should attend to.

3. What kind of laundry detergent do you use? Tide Free (HE liquid formula).

4. What brand of shampoo is in your shower right now? Lately, I've been alternating between Neutrogena & Herbal Essences. Dh likes Pert.

5. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21? The legal drinking age where I grew up was 18 (but the answer is still yes). ; )

6. What countries have you been to? Canada and the United States. Hoping to expand the list more shortly!

7. Do you watch MTV anymore? No. Unless I'm flipping by & they have a retro video on that I remember from the good old days. Dh likes to watch videos on CMT on Saturday mornings sometimes, though!

8. What do you think about Oprah? I'll admit it, I adore Oprah. She is a damned smart woman who has built an amazing connection with her audience. I am going to miss her show horribly when it's over next spring. (Although I only ever get to watch it when I'm on holidays.)

9. What color are your bed sheets? Off white with a floral pattern.

10. You need a new pair of jeans: what store do you go to first? Yikes. I haven't had to buy new jeans in awhile. I used to buy them at the Gap, but I'm not sure their styles would fit me anymore. :p

11. Did you ever watch The O.C.? Never.

12. What kind of car do you drive? I don't drive, but we have a 2003 Toyota Camry.

13. Honestly, is that car insured? Yes, I don't think we're allowed to drive without it!

14. Do you like sushi? Never tried it. Don't really have any great desire to.

15. Have you ever been to Tiffany & Co. or Saks 5th Ave? No. Although there is a Tiffany store on Bloor Street.

16. Did your parents spoil you growing up? They'll tell you they did. ; ) I guess they did, a bit. ; )

17. Do you like roller coasters? I did when I was a kid, but I never rode any of the really big ones -- and I'm not sure my stomach would be up to it these days...!

18. What magazine(s) do you buy regularly or subscribe to? Oh man, too many, according to dh. :p I subscribe to a lot of the major Canadian magazines: Macleans, Chatelaine, Canadian Living, Homemakers, Style at Home, Canadian Scrapbooker. Also Consumer Reports. I regularly buy Entertainment Weekly, Vanity Fair & O Magazine on the newsstand. People and Rolling Stone occasionlly.

19. Do you remember the WB show “Popular”? Don't think I've ever even heard of it.

20. When you go out do you prefer to go to a dance club or to a bar? I haven't been to either in YEARS. I would probably opt for the bar.

21. What do you think about gay marriage? It doesn't bother me in the least.

22. Who do you think Obama will run against and, if he does, will he be re-elected? Two years is a long time away. I do think that, despite all his problems, he stands a good chance of being re-elected. Of course, I'm Canadian, so I don't have much of a say in the matter anyway!

23. Are you registered to vote? Yes.

24. Do you own an iPod? No. I never even had a Sony Walkman. I still buy CDs, and I still have all my cassette tapes & vinyl albums. Am I dating myself?

25. Is your bathroom filled with beauty stuff? Yes, and so is my linen closet.