#MicroblogMondays: The dress I left behind me

About a month ago, I was at the mall and saw a dress on the winter clearance rack at Nordstrom's... a fancy party dress, off the shoulder with some bling around the waistline, in a very pretty shade of dark, rich green (with perhaps just a hint of teal) that I know is one of "my" colours. It was marked down 40% = a little over $120, I think. And it was in my size. (This dress, but in dark green instead of pink.) 

I looked at it -- and looked again -- and then I walked away. 

But I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was back at the same mall two weeks later, & as I turned down the wing where Nordstrom's is, I knew I was heading back to the dress department to see if it was still there. It was -- so I gave in to temptation and... tried it on. It fit me perfectly (and would look even better with Spanx underneath, I'm sure, lol).  Quite frankly, it looked great on me. 

But I still walked away empty-handed.

So why didn't I buy it?  

The problem is, I already HAVE a dress for Younger Nephew's imminent wedding. (Not only that, it's teal green, slightly off the shoulder, and has some bling near the waistline...!). And we have no other upcoming weddings or other special occasions on the calendar in the foreseeable future where I could wear such a dress.  Even if there was, I already have several other pretty dresses hanging in my closet that I've only worn once or twice, which I could/probably should wear again. Plus, being retired, we're on a fixed income these days, and while we live pretty comfortably overall, money was slightly tight just then. My conscience would not allow me to spend $120 I didn't really have, on a dress that I don't really need, particularly one that resembles a dress I already have hanging in my closet. 

I'm going back to the mall tomorrow. I don't expect the dress will still be there, after all this time -- but I suppose stranger things have happened. If it is, I may just break down & buy it. After all, how many fancy black dresses do I own -- why not a few green dresses too, right?? ;)  (Plus, we just got "paid," so our cash flow issues have been resolved for another month, lol.)  

What would you have done?  How often do you get all dressed up for a special occasion, and how many times do you normally wear the same fancy dress?  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

ETA:  Update in the comments section! 

"It's All Relative" by A.J. Jacobs

If you've read this blog for a while, you'll know that one of my great interests is genealogy -- researching my family history.

(Yes, I realize it's more than little ironic that my own branch of the family tree will end with me -- but as I have said before, here and elsewhere, I like to think that I'm still contributing to the family tree in my own way. I may not be growing the tree into the future, but I'm still adding to it by documenting and expanding our knowledge of past generations. :)  )

Which is why I found myself drawn to picking up "It's All Relative: Adventures Up and Down the World’s Family Tree" by A.J. Jacobs at the bookstore last year.

Jacobs is known for pursuing subjects obsessively and then writing about them in books such as "Drop Dead Healthy" (a year-long quest to radically improve his health, from head to toe), "The Know-it-All" (reading the entire Encyclopedia Britannica from A to Z) and "The Year of Living Biblically"(living strictly and literally according to Biblical principles for a full year).  (I had heard of, but not yet read any of his previous books.)

Jacobs's interest in genealogy is piqued when he receives an email out of the blue from a dairy farmer on a kibbutz in Israel: “You don’t know me, but I’m your eighth cousin. And we have over 80,000 relatives of yours in our database.” Jacobs is intrigued by the idea that, if you research far back enough, we are all cousins, and everyone is related in some way to everyone else on this planet.

Then, in a Skype call, he learns his newfound distant Israeli cousin had attended a family reunion attended by 3,000 (!) people. That's the nudge he needs to start planning a family reunion of his own -- not just any reunion, mind you, but the Global Family Reunion on June 6, 2015 -- the world's largest (if everyone is related, everyone is invited!), featuring a keynote address by Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Sister Sledge singing (what else?) "We Are Family." Besides trying to break a world record, Jacobs is motivated by the idea that, if we realize we're all connected, maybe we'll start treating each other a little more nicely. (If only, right?)

Organizing the reunion is the thread that runs through the book (with updates at the end of most chapters), while Jacobs researches his own family tree and investigates a broad gamut of genealogy-related subjects -- including (but not limited to) online family trees and research sites, DNA testing, genealogy conferences, family reunions, family feuds (the Hatfields & the McCoys), cousin marriage, blended/non-traditional/non-biological families, Ellis Island, Daughters of the American Revolution and other lineage societies, privacy, twins (and the annual Twins Days festival in Twinsburg, Ohio), black sheep, genealogy and the Mormon church, and the predominance of men vs women in world/family history.

I enjoyed this book -- but, I'll admit, not quite as much as I wanted to, or hoped to. I started reading it over my Christmas vacation, set it aside for something more compelling, and only recently picked it up again, determined to finish what I had started. (Unless I really, really find a book tedious or hard to get through, I do like to try to finish, eventually.)  Perhaps it was the episodic structure, or the superficial (albeit entertaining) coverage of the subject matter (one Goodreads reviewer called it "Genealogy Lite").  It was amusing and interesting, and I suppose that, for the uninitiated, it's a good introduction to a very broad and very complex subject.  I gave it three stars on Goodreads.

This was book #5 that I've read so far in 2018, bringing me to 21% of my 2018 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 24 books.  I am -- so far! ;)  -- on track to meet my goal.  :) 

Easter week odds & ends

• It's Easter week/weekend (coming up). (It always seems to kind of sneak up on me...) We've been invited to have Easter dinner on Sunday with BIL & family --  including SIL's family, at SIL's elderly father's house. As usual, I have mixed feelings on the subject: 
• I am never sure which is worse -- not getting invited anywhere ( = feeling forgotten), getting a last-minute pity invitation from BIL or another relative ( = feeling like an afterthought), or getting invited to FIL's and having to spend the day with stepMIL & her family ( = feeling obligated).  (They are nice people, of course, but it's not OUR family...) 
• I am somewhat relieved that the invitation came early, and not at the last minute, as it often does. 
• I am feeling a little apprehensive/weary, because SIL's niece will be there with her 8-month-old baby -- so of course it's ALL going to be about him and his first Easter, right?  (He IS a cute little guy -- we spent Thanksgiving with them at BIL's last fall -- & I plan to bring a little gift for him.)  
• I do feel a little better (relieved) that they've ordered food for the meal -- (a) because it means SIL & BIL will have less to do & (b) I will feel less guilty/anxious about my own contribution or lack thereof.  SIL (who usually winds up hosting and cooking for all the big events in her family, especially since her mother became ill and died a few years ago) said she refused to cook this time around;  she's got enough to do and worry about with Younger Nephew's wedding coming up shortly. It's still going to be work for her, of course, but we will probably bring a panettone &/or fruit platter &/or bottle of wine (etc.), and I will pitch in & help however I can. 
• I'm hoping the Easter package I sent to the Little Princesses last week will arrive on time. It contains some chocolate mini-eggs (of course!) & a couple of T-shirts each (matching, of course... although I'm not sure how much longer they will tolerate that...!)  from Old Navy -- including one with butterflies on it. :)  I send them packages for Valentine's Day & Halloween too, as well as birthdays, and will sometimes include small stuffed animals or other small toys that will mail easily, and/or a couple of books, depending on what I see that strikes my fancy. If I can't find anything I really like, I'll just send a card with some money tucked inside (which I am sure goes over equally well, if not more so, lol -- even at ages 3 & 6...!).  I enjoy having some little girls to spoil & buy clothes for -- and I know they won't be little forever -- and I want to remind them that we are here and we are thinking of them between our twice-yearly visits. I'm looking forward to similarly spoiling some great-nieces & nephews, if/when they start to arrive...! 
• Thank you to Sue Fagalde Lick at Childless by Marriage for reminding us that "Easter is not just for folks with kids:" 

Grownups don’t get Easter baskets. If you’re not religious, it looks like Easter is for kids: making color-crayoned pictures of rabbits or papier-mache eggs at school, dyeing hard-boiled eggs, egg hunts at dawn, encounters with adults dressed in rabbit costumes. Candy, toys, parties. Fun!

It’s another one of those holidays that may sting if we don’t have children, especially if we desperately want to have them. Whether you spend a quiet day with adults or watch everyone else’s kids having fun, it can be hard. Hang on. It doesn’t last long.

• (Grownups do get to indulge in Easter chocolate, of course, whether or not they have kids' baskets to dip into...! I've been gorging on Lindor chocolate mini-eggs for the last several weeks now....!) 
• I have a pensioner living with me!  Well, both of us are already pensioners, receiving pensions from our former employer. But dh recently applied for his Canada Pension Plan (CPP) -- which, like most Canadians, he's been paying into since he was a teenager -- and he recently received his first payment. The traditional age to receive CPP is 65, but you can get a reduced pension as early as age 60.  His 61st birthday is coming up shortly, but a combination of inertia & technical difficulties meant he didn't apply until just a few months ago. We've managed pretty well so far financially on our company pensions and some investment income, without dipping into our savings too much, but we've had some additional expenses lately (a special condo fee levy, Younger Nephew's upcoming wedding, etc.), so the monthly CPP payment will provide a welcome cushion. (I still have a few years to go before I can apply for mine!) 
• My stomach/gallbladder issues have not bothered me in several weeks now. Thank goodness!! (...and KNOCK WOOD!!).  

Butterfly (song)

Thinking and writing about my memories of doing the Butterfly (dance), growing up, brought back yet another butterfly-related memory.

When I was a kid, we bought a lot of our music on records made by a company called K-Tel. They would regularly come out with compilation albums ("22 Explosive Hits," "Music Power," "Sound Explosion," "Believe in Music," etc. etc.) that were heavily advertised on television, featuring a generous selection of current hit songs. It was a great way to buy a lot of different songs, cheap (certainly much cheaper than having to purchase 20 different 45s)(and if you don't know what 45s were, look it up, lol -- I'm feeling old enough as it is...!).  

Our local skating rink would play one of those K-Tel albums over & over & over again, and to this day, hearing one of those songs will bring back fond memories of skating around in that cold, crisp tin shed with my friends, playing crack the whip and making up routines. "Daniel" by Elton John, "Don't Pull Your Love" by Hamilton Joe Frank & Reynolds, "Wild Eyes" by the Stampeders, "Beautiful Sunday" by Daniel Boone, "Precious & Few" by Climax, "Bad Side of the Moon" by April Wine. 

And "Butterfly" by Danyel Gerrard. I couldn't remember his name, but I Googled the lyrics (which I could still remember -- "Butterfly... stay a little while with me") and up it popped. It's kind of a schmaltzy song (apparently it was an international hit, and he recorded it in several different languages) -- but now, many years later, as a bereaved parent, some of the lyrics ("Stay a little while with me") resonate very differently... 

You are bright as a night full of moon

Butterfly you have left much too soon

You have found you have wings and now you wish to fly

Please don't go, oh please don't say good bye.

Butterfly, my Butterfly now I know you must be free

Butterfly, don't flutter by, stay a little while with me.

In your mind there's someone far away

And you'll miss all the fun if you stay

You believe that love is elsewhere to be found

But you're wrong, it's here, just look around.

Butterfly, my Butterfly now I know you must be free

Butterfly, don't flutter by, stay a little while with me.

Look around, look around and you'll see

Better loved than by me you won't be

And if you fly away you break my heart in two

Please don't go -- I'm so in love with you.

Butterfly, my Butterfly now I know you must be free

Butterfly, don't flutter by, stay a little while with me.

Butterfly, my Butterfly now I know you must be free

Butterfly, don't flutter by, stay a little while with me.

Butterfly, my Butterfly now I know you must be free

Butterfly, don't flutter by, stay a little while with me.

(Googling this song, I found references to it being sung by... Donny & Marie Osmond??!!  I was a big Osmonds fan, back in the day, but I don't ever remember them singing this one. You learn something new every day...!) 

#MicroblogMondays: Odds & ends

• Lying awake at 4:30 a.m. the other morning, I had several great ideas for blog posts. Do you think I can remember one of them?? So.... odds & ends it is for #MM (again)...! ;)  
• I watched the #MarchForOurLives protest marches all day Saturday, knowing that some of you were out there in those massive crowds & cheering you on.  Got teary, over & over again, listening to those amazing kids -- knowing that mine would have been just a little older than most of them.  
• Moment that made me grin: hearing The Clash on a loudspeaker as the march in Washington was getting started. :)  The kids are alright! (Wait, that's The Who... well, you get the idea...) 
• Dave Cullen, who literally wrote the book on Columbine, has been writing about (& energized by) the Parkland kids for several publications. He spent Saturday with one of the Parkland students, Daniel Duff, and wrote about Duff's experiences at the march for Vanity Fair.  My not sure if I should laugh or cry moment while reading it:  Duff & a friend pose for a photo with some of the police officers providing security for the march:  
• As the boys moved on, one of the cops called after them: “Make sure you use the hashtag #USCP when you share it on Facebook.”  The police were out of earshot now, and Duff chuckled and said to Servaites: “He thinks we still use Facebook.” (Kids, right?) 
• Dh & I had our annual checkups with our family dr last week, and went to a local lab to get some blood drawn. I took the bandaid off a few hours later & couldn't even tell where the needle had been. The next morning, though, I was in the shower and shocked myself when I glimpsed a huge purple bruise in the crook of my elbow. Normally, I wouldn't think twice about it, especially since it's still long-sleeve weather here (and obviously, I had many, many such bruises while going through infertility treatment...!) but Younger Nephew's wedding is fast approaching -- and my dress has short sleeves. Here's hoping the bruising is gone by then...!  
• An update: I blogged a few months ago about switching to an electric/power toothbrush. I've kept it up and so far, so good. Teeth have retained much of that post-hygienist cleaning smoothness, and the stains have been mostly held at bay. The toothbrush head was starting to look a bit dingy, though, so I switched to a new one a few days ago. Removed the old one, & OMG, the GUNK under there...! It was disgusting. (And that was going in my mouth??)  Yuck. :p  Note to self, need to switch heads more often...!! 
• The sun has been shining more, and longer, since the time change (and it's made a huge difference in my frame of mind...!)... but it's still been pretty frickin' chilly out there. Hurry up, warm weather, Younger Nephew's wedding is coming up...  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

The Butterfly (Dance)

I don't know why it popped into my head, but I found myself thinking about the Butterfly while eating my breakfast the other morning.

I don't mean "a" butterfly, the kind with wings. (The kind that's taken on an entirely different meaning/significance in my life these past 20 years, given their association with pregnancy and infant loss and bereavement.)

"The Butterfly" I'm thinking about is a dance -- a staple of every social (dance/party) & wedding I attended when I was growing up on the Canadian Prairies (pre-Chicken Dance, pre-Macarena). The fun part was you needed three people to do it. As a trio, you would hop-step around the dance floor, arms around each other, to some slowish fiddle music (I seem to remember "My Bonnie lies over the ocean" and "How much is that doggie in the window,"  lol).

Then the music would pause, & the fast music would start. It was the duty of the person in the middle to swing the other two people around -- first one person, then the other, then back to the first person again... until the slower music started up again, and you'd link arms & continue to hop-step around the dance floor. Until the fast music started up again. By the end, you were pretty much staggering around the dance floor ;) and it could get pretty interesting, depending on how much you'd had to drink (which is probably why butterflies were usually played later in the evening, lol). You also had to watch out not to crash into the threesomes around you, depending on how crowded the dance floor was.

I Googled "butterfly dance" to confirm my memories & see what else I could find out about it. I suspected it was probably a "Prairie thing," since I don't think I have ever done one in the 30+ years I have lived in southern Ontario. Socials are not a "thing" here, and although I've attended umpteen weddings, mostly for dh's Italian relatives, the DJ/band has never played a Butterfly at any of them. (I haven't been to too many weddings or socials "back home" in recent years, either, so I have no idea whether the Butterfly is still a thing there either, although I suspect it probably is.)

From Wikipedia, I found this:

The butterfly dance is a dance move in which the dancer's legs move like butterfly wings. The move originated from the music genre Hip-hop and is also commonly seen in reggae type music.[1] The dance is a female move but male individuals have been seen to execute the move. This dance move originated in the 70s.

Ummm, no. That's NOT it.

I found some references to a Hopi tribe butterfly dance.  That's not it either.

I eventually found a couple of Yahoo Answers posts and a Google groups conversation (by changing the search term slightly to "old-fashioned butterly dance") that explains what I was thinking  about.

I thought the Butterfly might be a Prairie/Ukrainian thing. One person suggested it could also have French-Canadian roots. 

However, I also found several references to a "butterfly waltz" (here and here) in the U.S., in Texas and Missouri (whose roots were said by one source to be German!)  and to a similar dance known as "The Flying Dutchman."

Here's a video clip of "my" kind of Butterfly dance:

This video only shows one round of the slower music & one round of the fast, though... typically there would be a couple rounds of each.

Have you ever heard of/done the Butterfly dance (the kind I've described -- definitely not the hip-hop version, lol)?? 

*** *** ***

(Writing about this, another butterfly-related memory popped into my head: a song. I will write about that in a future post.)

Two lines, 20 years later

Exactly 20 years ago today, I peed on a stick -- a home pregnancy test.

We'd been trying to have a baby for more than two years, without success.

Almost immediately, two bright blue lines popped into view. Positive. 

I took a blood test at my family doctor's office the next day, and the day after that, he called to tell me he had "good news." 

Thus began the roller coaster ride...

I wrote about those two blue lines 10 years later, i.e., 10 years ago (!) on this blog, here. I don't feel the need to rehash the details of what happened all over again, today. 

But it's amazing to think how two blue lines totally changed my world -- and in ways I could never have imagined at the time...