"I Have Something to Tell You" by Chasten Buttigieg

Having fulfilled my book club obligations for August ;)  I finally got to turn my attention to my gargantuan TBR pile/list and pick something from it for my next read.  

"I Have Something to Tell You" by Chasten Buttigieg (nee Glezman) -- husband of former South Bend (Indiana) mayor/U.S. Democratic presidential candidate/current U.S. Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg -- has been on my want-to-read list for quite a while now. I was waiting for the paperback, but it's not readily available here in stores in Canada (although I could have ordered it online). I eventually used my points to download a copy to my Kobo e-reader. (I have Pete's own memoir in the TBR pile as well, but this one was way higher up on my list, lol.) 

I was impressed by Pete Buttigieg as a political candidate -- but (can I admit?) I developed something of a crush on Chasten ;) and I began following him on social media during the nomination race last year. I love watching his Instagram Live interviews (although he hasn't done any in a while). Okay, I know he's gay, and (at 32) almost half my age -- and I am, in fact, OLDER than his mother (!! -- who has two other older sons to boot...!) -- but he just seemed so refreshingly down-to-earth and genuine. When I heard he was a drama teacher and theatre geek, it all made sense: he reminded me of the sweet, slightly dorky guys I hung out with in high school band and drama club (some of them gay, although we didn't talk openly about stuff like that as teenagers in the 1970s).

Despite the different times and places we grew up in, I recognized a lot of my own youth in Chasten's stories about his small-town American Midwest upbringing -- both the good (4-H, hockey -- his brothers played -- mom's home cooking and thriftiness, the proximity to the U.S.-Canada border) and the not-so-good (the desperate desire to fit in, the conservatism, the lack of diversity and curiosity, the homophobia). He spent his senior year of high school as an exchange student in Germany, where he first kissed a boy and came out to his host mother, then returned home to Michigan, where he bounced around between several colleges and jobs, initially intending to become a nurse. He eventually landed at the University of Wisconsin - Eau Claire to study theatre, and in the process, racked up six figures worth of student loans. Even after he began working as a drama teacher, first in Milwaukee and then in Chicago, he also worked as a barista at Starbucks, both to supplement his income and because they offered the health insurance coverage that is so necessary living in the U.S.  (Chasten's stories about his mother's battle with cancer, as well as his own medical debt, make me sooooo glad -- not for the first time -- that I'm Canadian...!)  

Sadly, his first sexual experience was being assaulted by an older man at a party. He confesses that the Brett Kavanaugh/Christine Blasey Ford hearing a few years ago brought back some painful memories. Eventually, he took a chance on a guy he found while scrolling through a dating app -- a guy who happened to be the mayor of a small city in northern Indiana. The rest, as they say, is history. The later part of the book details Chasten's bewildering new life as a political spouse and his experiences on the campaign trail.  

This was a chatty, funny, frank, keenly observed and often poignant coming-of-age and coming out story, combined with an inside look at the U.S. political campaign process. I loved it. (If you know a young person who recently came out, this would be a great book to hand them -- and there's a version adapted for younger readers on its way soon!) 

I think Chasten would make an excellent First Gentleman someday -- if not a politician in his own right. He was a great campaigner, a savvy user of social media, an advocate for LGBTQ+ youth, education and the arts on the campaign trail, and I look forward to seeing what he does next, beyond supporting Pete in his ambitions. Since I started reading this book, he & Pete announced they have just become parents! -- so I guess that's what will be keeping him busy for the next while...!

On that note -- I found a Washington Post article from July about how Chasten is settling into life in Washington (or trying to...!).  Some of this may sound familiar to some of you who have adopted, or tried to... 

They’ve been trying to adopt for a year now, going through home studies and parenting workshops, writing up descriptions of their family values and ideal weekends. They are on lists that would allow them to receive a baby who has been abandoned or surrendered at very little notice, and through lengthier processes that would allow a prospective mother to choose them in advance (although she wouldn’t know their identities). They’ve gotten close enough, on multiple occasions, to shop for baby gear and discuss names.

One afternoon, two weeks ago, Chasten got a call about a birth mother who was in labor and wanted to place her baby for adoption. The couple scrambled to figure out how to clear their schedules, track down an infant car seat and travel to the state where she was delivering the baby. A few hours later, he got another call. The mother had changed her mind.

“It’s a really weird cycle of anger and frustration and hope,” says Chasten. “You think it’s finally happening and you get so excited, and then it’s gone.” He thinks, sometimes, about what they will tell their future child: “We tried so hard for you. We waited so long for you.” He fantasizes about taking a little one to Michigan, where they could romp through the woods and cast fishing lines with Grandpa. 

I debated whether this should be 4 or 5 stars on Goodreads... I settled on 5 stars, because I really did enjoy it. It's a compelling story and very well told.  

This was Book #44 read to date in 2021 (and Book #6 finished in August), bringing me to 122%! of my 2021 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 36 books. I have now completed my challenge for the year, and am (for the moment, anyway...!) 21 (!) books ahead of schedule. :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2021 tagged as "2021 books." 

"Emily of New Moon" by L.M. Montgomery (re-read)

My L.M. Montgomery Readathon group on Facebook just finished our summer reading & discussion of "Emily of New Moon." (Here's my original review from my first readthrough of the book, before our discussion began.) 

I hadn't read this book in many years, and to rediscover it together with a community of extremely knowledgeable Montgomery fans was an absolute pleasure, and brought back many memories. The Readathon group, with new discussion questions, supplementary material and videos of chapter readings by participants posted two or three times a week, has been a bright light for me in the darkness of the COVID-19 pandemic, and the hosts are committed to keeping it going until we're done with COVID (hopefully beyond!). 

If you love Anne Shirley, give Emily Byrd Starr a try!  

My original Goodreads rating of this book still stands -- 4.5 stars, rounded down to 4.  

Starting Monday, Sept. 20th, we'll be reading the next/second book in the three-volume Emily series, "Emily Climbs." You are welcome to join us! 

This was Book #43 read to date in 2021 (and Book #5 finished in August), bringing me to 119%! of my 2021 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 36 books. I have now completed my challenge for the year, and am (for the moment, anyway...!) 20 (!) books ahead of schedule. :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2021 tagged as "2021 books." 

#MicroblogMondays: Why my weekend sucked

• Woke up Saturday morning and noticed the big toe on my left foot was rather stiff and a little swollen. A few hours later I noticed it was very red, right where the toe joins the foot. I knew what it was immediately: gout. :(  
• Gout is caused by elevated uric acid levels -- which my bloodwork has shown I have, for years. In my case, it's exacerbated by/a side effect of the medication I take to control my blood pressure. This is the first flare-up of gout that I've had, though (at least, that I've noticed -- although I've long suspected the stiffness and aches in my left knee might be partly caused by gout). 
• Genetics are not on my side either: both my parents have had bouts with gout in recent years. 
• My family dr had instructed me to call if/when I ever noticed the signs of gout. Of course, I didn't notice anything until after his office was closed until Monday (and with covid levels on the upswing, there's no way I'm going to a walk-in clinic or hospital emergency room right now...!). (I will be calling later this/Monday morning...) 
• And so I've been drinking gallons of water, taking ibuprofen, elevating my foot, gently rubbing in essential oils (won't hurt, right?) and using an ice pack for a few minutes every hour. 
• I'm also going to have to re-examine my diet... particularly my sugar intake. :(   
• I got on the scale this morning for the first time in months... and I was up another four pounds since my last weigh-in earlier this spring. My heaviest weight ever. I've gained 20-30 pounds since losing my job and retiring 7 years ago... which was already 20-ish pounds higher than the upper end of my Weight Watchers goal range. Not good. :( 
• Fortunately, my foot has not bothered me too much during the night. (So far?) This was good because we had other things to keep us up...!  (Read on...!)  
• The weather this weekend (most of the past week, actually) was hot, hazy and humid -- at one point, 31C, 41C humidex -- that's 87F and 106 F, respectively.  (You know it's hot when you wake up and it's already 30C humidex outside...!) 
• By mid-Saturday afternoon, dark, menacing storm clouds were rolling in. Shortly after we finished dinner and got the dishwasher started, the thunder and lightning started.  And then the rain. TORRENTS of it. It was difficult to see out the windows. 
• And then the winds picked up. I saw the chairs on our balcony start to vibrate. I'm not going to lie -- I made a beeline for the walk-in closet near the door to our unit... and yelled at dh to join me, or at least get away from the windows. (Which is hard to do, given that there are floor to ceiling windows in all three of the main spaces in our condo.)
• Things began to lighten up JUST a little. And then the power started flickering. I ran to turn off my laptop and dh turned off the TV set.  The power went off, and on. And off and on again. After flickering on & off like that for several agonizing seconds, it went off. And stayed off... for the next 7 & 1/2 hours.  :p  
• Of course, no power = no air conditioning. Fortunately, it stayed relatively pleasant inside our well-cooled unit for many hours. 
• By 9 o'clock it was getting dark. I didn't want to run down my cellphone's battery, so I turned it off and we went to bed. 
• We woke up after midnight to the sound of intermittent beeps. Four short beeps, every minute or so. After hunting around in the dark, we finally pinpointed the source as the telecommunications panel inside the closet where I'd hidden out earlier in the evening. We figured it had something to do with the power outage. We also concluded there was nothing we could do about it just then, so went back to bed and tried to go back to sleep. 
• The power finally came back on around 2:15 a.m. (Sunday morning). Dh reset all the clocks and we went back to bed. 
• In the morning, I looked up how long food would keep in the refrigerator/freezer drawer during a power outage. It said 24-48 hours for the freezer (so long as full, and wasn't opened), so we figured that was OK. For the fridge itself, however, 4-6 hours was the estimate, so I took stock and threw out a bunch of stuff, mostly dairy products and a jar of mayonnaise that was already past its expiry date anyway (oops). 
• The water pressure was weaker than normal -- not bad, but not up to its usual strength. 
• And... the a/c was running -- BUT it was just circulating the air, not blowing cold. :(  Eventually, we saw a service truck in the parking lot. The a/c was finally restored at around 4:30 p.m. -- but not before the temperature in our unit reached 79F and the humidity 69% (a figure I'd never seen before).  
• During the afternoon, dh went down the hall to put the garbage down the chute. We opened the door to our unit, and the hallway was like a steam bath.  
• 
  After that, he headed downstairs (via the stairwell) to check the mail... and discovered that one of the two elevators was not working. The one that was working was packed with people, none of whom were wearing masks (in violation of posted building policy). So he walked back up the stairs again too. 
• So how was YOUR weekend??  ;) 
• (Any tips on coping with gout?) 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Friday odds & ends

• Dh & I had haircuts back in our old community this morning. I was starting to feel a little shaggy -- it's been 7 weeks since our last cuts (we couldn't get appointments for when we wanted them last week) -- but hey, what's 7 weeks versus 17, right??  Amazing what a little perspective can do for your mindset, lol.  ;)  
• We made a stop at the cemetery, where this time ;) our only companions were a huge (and annoying) flock of Canada geese. 
• The area around the cemetery -- once farmers' fields -- is starting to fill in with dense new housing developments, with rezoning signs indicating there will be more to come. The road will soon need to be widened to accommodate higher levels of traffic. I suppose it's considered progress, but I will miss the way it used to be -- the feeling of heading out for a drive in the country.   
• Remember how thrilled I was to score tickets to "Hamilton" for May 2020?  And my disappointment when the run was cancelled after just a few weeks (well before May), because of COVID-19?  :(  I got an email recently that "Hamilton" will be returning to Toronto -- and because I let the theatre hang onto my money thus far, I will get first dibs on tickets once they go on sale again. The catch is that "Hamilton"'s run won't begin until February...2023 (!). (SURELY we'll be done with COVID-19 by then??)(Won't we?) The theatre's policy is that all audience members must be fully vaccinated, which makes me feel a little better about the prospect.  No word yet on when tickets will become available. It's a start...! 
• The deadline for submissions to World Childless Week is this weekend -- Sunday, August 29th!  See the website for more information on making a submission based on one of this year's daily themes. You can also participate by filling out a survey on your childless experience and/or taking and sharing an #IamME photo. And you can also enter a draw for some pretty nice giveaways (lots of great books!). 
• (Once again...!) I haven't been able to think of anything to submit for WCW that I haven't already written about here on this blog  :p  so I most likely will not be participating that way. But I am happy to promote the week in advance and while it's going on. :)  Expect to hear more about WCW here during the week of Sept. 13th!  :) 

"Inconceivable," indeed...!

I've seen some buzz in several online infertility/childless forums recently about a relevant storyline on a Netflix series called "Virgin River."  I have never watched it or read the books it's based on, but at the risk of dropping spoilers, I'll just say that the infertility/clinic aspect of the storyline had the seasoned infertility veterans snorting in disbelief. 

This got me thinking back to another TV series from some years ago that I watched, briefly, set in an infertility clinic. I did some Googling and found it:  "Inconceivable" on NBC, which was cancelled after 7 of the 9 episodes filmed were broadcast. Among the cast members: Angie Harmon, Ming-Na and Alfre Woodard. (Apparently there's another series by the same name which made its debut in 2016.)

I knew I had written *something* about this series somewhere... did a search on my blog (before I realized the show ran in 2005 -- I didn't start my blog until October 2007). I finally found it elsewhere online. This is what I had to say: 

...did anyone watch "Inconceivable" on Friday night??  

There was quite a lot of buzz around it on the INCIID boards -- most of it negative &, having watched it, well founded.  Basically a soap opera set in an infertility clinic & as much about the sex lives of the drs & nurses as about the patients. There's a charming (British accent) but extremely arrogant dr who encourages all of his patients to believe they're going to get pregnant. He's having a fling with one of the receptionists at the clinic but dumps her. [Note from present-day Loribeth: This same situation actually happened at my RE's office in 2006!! -- although I didn't learn about it until some time later...!  I wrote about it recently, here.]  She manages to get a "sample" from him & sneaks into the clinic at night & switches it with someone else's sperm in the fridge!! (Great, that will really inspire confidence in these clinics!) The dr's (female) business partner at the clinic (Ming-Na) has a young son born via donor sperm & beginning to ask questions. 

Among the patient story lines -- practically the first scene you see, a white surrogate gives birth to a black baby for a white couple -- she had unprotected sex before the egg transfer took place. The couple storm out of the clinic & sue. The social worker at the clinic appeals to the birthmother to tell the birthfather, who arrives at the clinic & claims the baby -- after one of the clinic workers has fallen in love with the child & declared she wants to adopt him. 

There's a pastor & his wife who just failed their fourth IVF. The wife privately asks the dr to use someone else's sperm the next time around. (What really bothers me is he didn't say no!! -- didn't say yes either, but that makes you wonder whether he's actually thinking about it!!)  I cant' remember if it was this couple or another couple, but the dr is looking into the possibility of offering them a "cytoplasmic transfer."  

In another story line, a female soldier was killed in Iraq but before she went she had her eggs frozen. Now her sister is offering to carry the baby. The dr asks why the husband didn't fertilize the eggs to make embryos before the wife left & he said, "that would mean she wasn't coming back."  He ultimately decided not to go ahead with it because it wouldn't be the same as having a baby WITH his wife. I know things like "cytoplasmic transfers" & egg freezing are within the realm of possibility, but I don't think they are by any stretch of the imagination treatments that are currently being offered regularly in most IVF clinics yet, or have a high success rate. 

There was also a surrogate having a baby for a gay couple, & the one guy (almost a stereotype) is driving her crazy following her around, inspecting her garbage, etc., to make sure she's eating healthily.    

In one scene, can't remember which couple, but it's three days past transfer & the dr is telling the woman that everything is fine -- using a regular on the tummy u/s.  Uh, yeah, right. Also, it looked like they were actually delivering the babies at the clinic (not at any clinic I've heard of)... & they had the babies in an old-fashioned nursery with rows of bassinets with pink & blue blankets. Great visuals for the camera, I suppose, but there aren't very many hospitals that have old fashioned nurseries like that anymore, at least for the healthy babies. 

So a lot of the story lines were stuff that maybe made great drama or great headlines, but were not within the realm of typical fertility patients' experiences.  Just totally unrealistic. I don't think I'll be watching again. 

I don't remember if I did watch any further episodes. I don't think I did. I certainly didn't watch all 7.

Have you watched "Virgin River?"  (Did you watch "Inconceivable" when it was on?)  What do/did you think? What unrealistic/ridiculous/disappointing TV shows or movies about the infertility/childless experience have you seen?  Any good ones to recommend? 

COVID is a sneaky SOB....

I do NOT have COVID-19.  (To be clear from the start.)  

Dh & I were both tested yesterday afternoon, both negative. 

But let's just say that we had a sobering scare... an encounter with COVID that was a little too close for comfort. 

Last Friday, I wrote about getting an unexpected visit from my Parents' Neighbours' Daughter and her family, on Wednesday night. 

Unfortunately, on Sunday night (four days post-visit), PND called me to say that COVID-19 might have been tagging along.  :(   They'd been spending time with her husband's cousin and his son at the family cottage in Quebec, as late as last Tuesday. They visited us on Wednesday night, and then spent all day Thursday at a local amusement park with the cousin and son, before heading home to Manitoba on Friday morning (arriving Saturday)... to the news that the cousin and son had both tested positive for COVID.  The boy was feeling under the weather by the end of day on Thursday, but everyone chalked it up to the heat, humidity and various vertigo-inducing rides they'd been on. 

By the time PND called me on Sunday night, we'd spent Saturday night with BIL & SIL, Together, we travelled across the city to visit stepMIL for the first time since early March 2020, just before the pandemic began. While there, we also saw her daughter and son (stepSIL & stepBIL), his wife and their son.  All the adults were double-vaxxed;  the boy, just turning 13, had had one shot but not both. 

PND told me they were all feeling fine. I realized I'd been having several days of annoying post-nasal drainage and a somewhat irritated throat as a result (I hesitated to call it "sore"). Granted, I've had the same or similar symptoms on & off all spring/summer, which I attributed to allergies, having the air conditioning running constantly, smoke in the air from forest fires up north and out west, etc.  

I was also exhausted when I woke up on Monday (yesterday) morning -- but needless to say, I did NOT get much sleep on Sunday night!  

As soon as the closest testing centre opened at 9 a.m. on Monday morning, I was on the phone, trying to get us both appointments. I spent half an hour listening to muzak (eyeroll) but finally got us both booked for 2:20 p.m. that afternoon. 

This was the same hospital/testing site where I'd had my first COVID test done last November, pre-d&c surgery. The weather was a whole lot hotter this time around, and the lineup a bit longer, but as in November, things moved quickly and efficiently. ("Busy these days?" dh asked the girl who took our information at the entrance. "Yes," she responded shortly.)  

En route to the testing centre, PND messaged me to see how we were feeling and to say they'd all just been tested. (She & her dh were both fully vaxxed, but the girls, at 6 & 9, are still too young.)  Younger Little Princess had endured a rough night, with vomiting and fever, but felt fine that morning. 

By the time we got to the testing site, I was over my initial feelings of panic and feeling a little calmer about it all... either we were positive, or we weren't, right? -- and even if we were, we're fully vaccinated, which meant our odds of staying out of the hospital were pretty good. I did several gargles with saltwater, took some ibuprofen, used some of my Saje Immune essential oils roll-on ( I believe it's called by a different name in the States, but I can't remember what at the moment)(I figured it wouldn't hurt -- it's mostly eucalyptus & tea tree oil) and went to bed early. I slept MUCH better, and when I got up around 7 a.m., a notification was already waiting for me about my result. 

NEGATIVE. 

(Dh's results took a little longer... 12 full hours longer (!) -- even though we had our swabs done at exactly the same time, in the same cubicle, by the same person!!  Go figure...?!)   

I messaged PND to let her know. She messaged me later that her entire family tested negative. Because they were close contacts of confirmed cases, they will still be isolating for a while, just in case. We realize it's still possible for us to develop symptoms and test positive over the next few days, so we'll continue to be careful too. She apologized for putting us through this stress and anxiety. (Appreciated.) 

As I lay awake Sunday night, tossing and turning, I thought about how this all unfolded. We'd been SO careful for SO long -- much more careful than almost anybody else we know.  While others have freely roamed around, seeing friends, eating out, shopping (within the restrictions for masking and social distancing in public places, etc.), we have mostly stayed at home, venturing out only for groceries, prescriptions and takeout on Saturday nights. We've only begun spending more time with BIL and family (unmasked) since getting vaccinated in April/July.  

I've never been much of a risk-taker. I was always the kid who was afraid to do risky or illegal things (smoke pot, for example -- although I'll admit, I did do my share of dumb stuff, growing up...!) -- because I KNEW that if anyone was going to get caught and suffer the consequences, it was going to be ME.  

And now, the very first time in 18 months that we'd let down our guard and spent time face-to-face, unmasked (just a half-hour, and partly outside, but still...), and traded hugs, with anyone outside of BIL & family, and let them into our condo, THIS happens.

The psychological burden -- the guilt -- over what we'd done -- the possibility of having infected someone else in turn, was worse than the thought of getting sick ourselves. We both thanked goodness that we'd last seen Little Great-Nephew on Wednesday morning, BEFORE getting the call from PND later that evening.  

WHY had I told PND to come over, despite my better instincts?  To be honest, her call came out of the blue, and I was caught off guard. They were on the road, less than half an hour away, en route to their hotel, 45 minutes further north of us. I had to say yes or no quickly. I knew she & her husband were fully vaccinated (although the girls were not).  I knew they'd been travelling (gas stations, motels, restaurants, public restrooms... = lots of opportunities for contact with the virus) and spent almost two weeks at the cottage, where (granted) they'd been spending a lot of time in the open air -- but also mingling with a lot of friends and relatives (vaccination status and masking habits unknown to us). Dh, despite his great affection for PND, was not enthusiastic about having them come here, even briefly. 

But the knowledge that she'd be passing within a mile or two of my front door -- the opportunity to see her -- someone from "home" who's like family, if not a blood relative -- after almost two straight years -- was too irresistible to turn down. When I was growing up, we lived in a town just off the Trans-Canada Highway (the major east-west road across the country) and always had friends and relatives passing through and dropping by to visit, and my parents always welcomed them and were gracious hosts. Despite Toronto being a major destination/travel hub, my opportunities to see distant family members and friends, let alone have them stay with me, have been far & few between, even pre-pandemic. 

Basically, my female "people-pleaser"/"good girl" instincts kicked in and drowned out the little voice inside that said, "Maybe this isn't a good idea... maybe you should just say no."  PND would no doubt have been disappointed if I'd said we weren't comfortable seeing them, but I think she would have understood. (I think.) 

We're still being cautious and watching for symptoms for the next few days, in which case we'll get retested. (We decided not to go visit Little Great-Nephew & SIL tomorrow morning as we usually do, just to be on the safe side. There is NOTHING more important to us than keeping that sweet little boy safe.) 

But for now, I AM SO RELIEVED.  

(I have absolutely no comprehension of how people can walk around without vaccinations, without masks, without concern for others, let alone their own health, while this virus rages on.)  

We dodged a bullet. It wasn't fun. 

I have no desire to go through this again.

"The Reckoning" by Mary L. Trump

I was interested to learn that Mary L. Trump -- Donald's estranged niece -- had another book coming out this summer. I read and enjoyed her previous book, about growing up in the Trump family ("Too Much and Never Enough" -- reviewed here). 

Like "Too Much and Never Enough," "The Reckoning: Our Nation's Trauma and Finding a Way to Heal" is a short read. It's not so much about Mary's infamous uncle as about the trauma he left in his wake, and how America can heal from it.  But Donald Trump is not the sole source of America's problems (although he certainly exacerbated them):  Mary believes her uncle's presidency was the culmination of a long series of traumas America has endured as a nation -- primarily stemming from its "original sin" of racism/white supremacy. 

This book is part history lesson, part polemic and part analysis. I was reminded of Carol Anderson's book "White Rage" (reviewed here), especially in the middle section.  A lot of what Mary Trump writes about is not new, but she synthesizes and summarizes it in a powerful way. What is different and especially interesting is how she uses her skills as a clinical psychologist, as well as her personal experiences with trauma and PTSD (not to mention her unique insights into Donald Trump), to diagnose and comment on America's collective trauma as a nation -- particularly in the final chapter, "Facing the Truth," about the ongoing trauma of COVID-19 and what the future might hold. This chapter alone is probably worth the price of the book. I think I bookmarked every other page. 

4.5 stars on Goodreads, rounded down to 4. 

This was Book #42 read to date in 2021 (and Book #4 finished in August), bringing me to 117%! of my 2021 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 36 books. I have now completed my challenge for the year, and am (for the moment, anyway...!) 19 (!) books ahead of schedule. :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2021 tagged as "2021 books."