"I Am Half-Sick of Shadows" by Alan Bradley

It's always fun to read a Christmas/holiday-themed book during the holiday season... something not too taxing at a busy and sometimes stressful time of year -- and when my co-host at the Childless Collective NoMo Book Club. and I were planning books for the rest of 2025, I thought of "I Am Half-Sick of Shadows" by Alan Bradley, the fourth book in the delightful Flavia de Luce mystery series, for December. We'd read Flavia #1, "The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie" two years ago  (my review here) and it was very well received. Happily, my co-host agreed it would be a good choice to wind up the year! 

It's Christmastime in early 1950s/post-war Britain, but the festivities this year are somewhat muted: financial precarity has forced Flavia's reluctant father to lease the family's crumbling mansion, Buckshaw, to a film company for a movie shoot -- much to the delight of Flavia and her two sisters.  

The two stars of the movie agree to stage a benefit performance for the local church. Most of the villagers attend -- and, conveniently, get snowed in by a blizzard. While they are trapped in the big house together, there is (of course!) a murder (midway through the book), and Flavia -- a precocious 11-year-old amateur detective and chemist, with a penchant for poison -- goes to work trying to untangle the mystery and identify the killer. Meanwhile, she is determined to solve an even bigger mystery: whether Father Christmas (Santa Claus) is real.

While I would highly recommend reading the entire series -- and while I think you'd probably benefit from reading at least the first book first to acquaint yourself with Flavia, her family and her world -- you could probably read this one as a standalone and still enjoy it. :)  

Weirdly, although I KNOW I've read this book before (and briefly reviewed it on this blog back in January 2012 (!), here), I have no previous record of reading it, on Goodreads. The book came out in 2011, and I did not join Goodreads until 2016, but I did add some books that I'd reviewed on my blog retroactively. Oh well...!  

4 stars on both Goodreads & StoryGraph.  

ALI notes:  I'd forgotten that there's a very pregnant minor character who makes an appearance.  

Also, Flavia recalls impulsively quizzing a childless woman about her lack of children -- and (to her credit) feeling enormously guilty about it afterwards. 

Previous Flavia-related posts here. 

This was Book #35 read to date in 2025 (and Book #2 finished in November), bringing me to 78% of  my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 5 books behind  schedule to meet my goal.  :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2025 tagged as "2025 books." 

Odds & ends

• Not ALI/CNBC related, but y'all know I am a huge fan of L.M. Montgomery -- and Modern Mrs. Darcy recently pointed her readers to a Substack post that ranked the men in Montgomery's novels. (Guess who tops the list?)  
• I wouldn't argue with her choices, although it's been many years since I last (re)read "Kilmeny of the Orchard" and now I want to find myself a copy...! 
• Ali Hall cross-posted this Substack post from Nadia Huq through her own Substack, Life Without Children -- "How I Grew to Love The Single, Childfree Me." Even if you're partnered and consider yourself childless vs childfree, as I do, I think you will probably find a few things here you can relate to! 
• Also on Life Without Children, Ali ponders why parents can talk about their children while childless/free people are expected to shut up about their different life experiences ("Being Childfree Is Not My ‘Whole Personality’ but Here’s Why I Need to Talk About It"). 

The double standard and irony of it all is that, in my experience, often, those beating their drums the loudest about us childfree people talking about being childfree are usually the ones who have made parenting their whole personality and have “mom of boys” or “proud mumma bear” in their bios.

And that’s ok.

But why do they get to build their world around having children and expect those of us who don’t have them to be silent?

• Rosalyn at NoMo Book Club describes the comfort that can be found in books that encompass the worlds of other childless/free women ("Sharing sanctuary"). 
• Carrie Hauskens at Blooming With Care wrote about her childless holidays -- and her Bonne Maman advent calendar tradition (yum!).  
• Further on the New York Times magazine story of the 65-year-old woman who can't stop/won't stop having babies (gift link included in this post), Sara Petersen at In Pursuit of Clean Countertops invites former fundamentalist wife Tia Levings to muse about how "It's Easy To Want Babies:  It's Harder To Raise Them." 
• American journalist Kirsten Powers (who has no children) writes about the panic attacks she's been experiencing as the holiday season approaches ("When Grief Take You Out"). After reading about what her year has been like, you'll understand why...!   
• I've been mulling over an "I hate November" rant these last few days (feeling sick and sorry for myself...) -- and Anne Helen Petersen just posted about "fall regression" on her Culture Study Patreon, and the comments section is filled with people venting about season depression and grief. My comment begins with the words, "You all are my people,"  lol    
• (Unfortunately, the piece is paywalled, but here's a preview link.) 
• Lyz Lenz's list of Sunday links on her Men Yell at Me Patreon included this one (from McSweeney's, a humor site), and I couldn't help but think about infertility as soon as I saw the headline: "When It Happens."  

It’s impossible to say when IT will HAPPEN. But it can’t be too long until IT HAPPENS. Looking at the data (age, high-stress job, cardiac history), it is statistically plausible that IT will HAPPEN in the next thirty-six months.

#MicroblogMondays: Really annoying thing: Sick :p

I guess it's a good thing I had fun at Little Great Nephew #1's birthday party (a week ago Saturday). 

Because I have been SICK, all this past week, with a horrible cold, the worst I've had in a while. 

I ran a temperature, 100F at one point, I had a stuffy head and a horrible cough that rattled my chest, shredded my already-raw, sore throat and left my diaphragm/ribs feeling sore, and I even coughed up a little blood at one point. I went from feeling a scratch in my throat on Monday afternoon, to feeling pretty lousy by Tuesday afternoon, and like utter crap for almost the entire rest of the week. I think I can safely say I'm feeling somewhat better (started feeling less crappy over Friday/Saturday) -- but I am still far from 100%. I am coughing less (and it's a lot looser), but I have not been sleeping well, even propped up on pillows, and I have NO stamina. I have not left the house in a week. 

Dh hadn't talked to his brother all week, so he called him on Saturday night. Guess what?  Dh, BIL, Younger Nephew, his wife & LGNiece all feel fine. But all the rest of us -- LGN#1 (the birthday boy) & #2 (still not even a year old), Older Nephew, his wife, her mother, and his (SIL), have all been sick too, all week long. :(  (Not sure about any of the other partygoers?)

LGN#1 missed the entire last week of school, including his actual birthday (he was so disappointed -- they announce the kids' birthdays on the PA system, and he was looking forward to that). SIL even lost her sense of taste. I never lost mine, but I didn't have much of an appetite for most of the week. (The ultimate indignity? When I weighed myself on Friday, I had GAINED a pound. Go figure...)  I tested myself for covid on day 3 -- negative -- and we both had our covid & flu shots two weeks ago -- but now I'm wondering if maybe it was covid after all? 

I suppose it's par for the course, after spending a couple of hours with 20 small children (plus parents), no masks -- not to mention taking a swig of water from the wrong water bottle (oops, and EWWW...). (One of the perqs of childlessness: less exposure to these kind of situations/germs!)

Still, I wouldn't have missed the party!  And better now, I guess, than a month from now,,,! 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

#MicroblogMondays: And now he is SIX!

If you had told me, 27 years ago this month (and still reeling from heartbreak of pregnancy loss), that 27 years later I would find myself in a party room at a retro video game arcade, surrounded by some 20 excited kids aged 6 and under, plus their young parents -- and even having some fun while doing it --  I never would have believed you, 

And yet there I was, at Little Great-Nephew #1's 6th (!) birthday party on Saturday. Older Nephew discovered the arcade, tucked away in a little strip plaza in a small town not far from where they live, and often takes LGN#1 there for some fun on the weekend (although it's probably a toss up as to who is having MORE fun! lol). 

It was a lot bigger inside than it looked, containing more than 170 (!) arcade games, including some of the ones I remember playing at the campus pub back in the Dark Ages (i.e., the early 1980s, lol), including Galaga, Space Invaders, Pac-Man and Donkey Kong, as well as tabletop games like air hockey and foosball.  It also has a party room and birthday party packages. The kids each got a cup full of tokens they could use to play the games, and some of them spit out tickets they could collect and exchange at the front desk for prizes/trinkets. 

LGN's mom/Older Nephew's Wife was very organized, and the grandmas, Younger Nephew's Wife & I pitched in to help set things up quickly (and take it all down at the end). She had Super Mario/gamer-themed plastic tablecloths, paper plates, napkins, etc., from the dollar store, juice boxes, water, bowls of chips & pretzels. Loot bags that we handed out at the end. And the cake, of course. :) Her mom also made cake pops and we put one in each loot bag. And they ordered a couple of party-sized pizzas to be delivered. 

The kids were so cute -- they were all so excited, but of course LGN#1 was the most excited of all! He hopped out of the car already wearing his party hat! Hugged all the kids (boys & girls) as they arrived and when they left, and hopped up on the platform when everyone was eating and yelled out, "Attention, everyone!  Are you all having a good time??"  And later, "Did everyone like the pizza?"  His grandfather thinks he's going to be a politician, lol. We went back to Older Nephew's house later to open presents and eat more food. Needless to say, we were in bed early that night, and last night too!   

The one thing that gave me pause was when a young mom arrived at the party room with her child in tow.  "Are you {LGN#1]'s grandma?" she enquired. (!)  

My first thought was "Do I LOOK old enough to be someone's grandma?"  And then I realized that to her, I probably did! lol  I just laughed and said, "No, THAT's [LGN#1]'s grandma, over there!"

And now... as you might imagine, in a room full of 20 little kids (plus about as many adults!), especially at this time of year... I feel like I'm getting a sore throat. :p  Not only that -- I grabbed someone else's bottle and took a swig out of it by mistake. Oops (and ewwww...).  (One mom breezily told Older Nephew's Wife that her child had been up half the night, sick to his stomach... but they came anyway.  ONW was NOT impressed.)   

Oh well, what's done is done...!  I handed around the Purell bottle when we got back into the car, lol  And I DID get both my flu and covid shots about two weeks ago (thank goodness!). I will gargle with salt water later. I guess if I'm going to be sick, better now than a month from now...!  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Super Mario/gamer-themed decor & cake.  :) 

Annoying things & small pleasures

Annoying things: 

• The neighbour two doors down must have gotten a dog/puppy... because over the past few weeks, it's been yelping/whining, on & off, sometimes for hours on end. (Dh has gone out into the hall and pinpointed the unit where the noise is coming from.) It's annoying as hell to have to listen to, and it also breaks my heart to think of that poor pup, who has probably been left all alone for hours on end. We are on the verge of sending a complaint to the property manager. 
• By contrast, our next door neighbour has two dogs (and works full time), and another neighbour a few doors down the hall has a new-ish puppy too. We hardly ever hear a peep from them. 
• The mall has been significantly busier, even on midweek mornings before noon, these past few weeks. (Already! Six weeks away from Christmas!) 
• Of course, the last timewe were there was last Tuesday, i.e., Remembrance Day -- a holiday for government  workers, if not everyone. 
• I was standing in the checkout line at Old Navy when the mall PA system asked for the traditional two minutes of silence, and began playing a recording of "The Last Post." (It was exactly 11 AM.)  I was pleasantly surprised when, within a few seconds, everyone in the store had stopped what they were doing and bowed their heads while the music played. 
• However, when the music stopped, everyone started talking and ringing up items again -- not realizing that they were supposed to remain silent for two full minutes. They were kind of startled when the closing bars of The Last Post began again, after the two minutes were up.  I guess they get points for the initial recognition of what to do, but...! Is two minutes of silence really too much to ask in these crazy times?? 
• House humidity has plunged since the temperatures started dropping. We started up the humidifier last week, and while it doesn't hurt, I'm not sure it makes a significant difference either. 
• I don't mind the chillier weather, but the relentlessly gloomy, grey, cloudy sky is already making my mood plunge. :(   
• Hopefully, things will perk up a bit once we put up the Christmas tree, later this month! 
• I've been referred (by my optometrist) back to the opthamologist who did the surgery on my right eye, three summers ago -- this time to check out my left eye, which may or may not be developing a similar problem. :( 
• Also annoying:  I couldn't get in to see her until early February. I really feel like I need new glasses (more surgery or not) -- the ones I have are 11 years old (!) and getting rather scratched up, so I think I'm due for a new pair, if only for aesthetic reasons! -- but I guess I'll have to wait at least a few months longer for those... 
• I also managed to put a noticeable scratch right in the centre of my the left lens of my computer/screen glasses recently (which, come to think of it, are about the same age as my regular ones!). :p  So I may need TWO new pairs... sigh... 
• Further annoying thing:  After I wrote this blurb, dh checked the mail and there was a letter from the opthamologist's office, confirming my appointment. For APRIL. The optometrist's office had called with the February date a couple of days ago. 
• I've left a message with the opthamologist's office, asking them to confirm the proper date. (Based on previous experience with this office, it may be a few days before I hear back from them.) Sigh... 
• (Before all this started, I was hoping I could have new glasses by Christmas or January at the latest... at this rate, Christmas 2026 might be more likely...!)  

Small pleasures: 

• Buying and (since Remembrance Day is over) wearing some new holiday PJ tops from Old Navy around the house. I don't often buy the coordinating PJ pants;  I mostly wear black yoga pants around the house. Somehow that feels a step up from pajamas!  (Am I deluding myself?  lol)  
• Starting to accumulate a pile of presents for both Little Great-Nephews' birthdays (one soon, one just before Christmas), as well as all three great-niblings for Christmas. 
• If you'd told me 20-25 years ago that I could not only enter a children's clothing store without wincing but also scour the racks with positive glee, I never would have believed you. 
• (I will admit, the sight of tiny pretty holiday dresses for little girls still has the power to sting. But for the most part, I enjoy myself!)  
• Meeting up with a childless friend (whom I first "met" online) for tea a few days ago :) at the coffee shop connected to a bookstore, about a half-hour's drive north of us (and about a half-hour's drive south from where she lives). Dh agreed to take me there, and browsed for books and presents for Little Great-Nephew #1's upcoming birthday while she and I chatted. 

Odds & ends

• I've been tired and going to bed earlier for the past week or two. And after reading one of Mel's recent Friday Roundups, I realized why!  (Personally, I blamed all those late-night World Series games! lol) 
• "What Might It Look Like Not to Have Children?"  Glynnis MacNicol at Good Decisions (who is childfree by choice) provides links to a decade's worth of her writing on the subject. 
• Pamela Tsigdinos recently discussed "Surviving the Trauma of IVF" on the Beyond Pronatalism podcast. 
• Y.L. Wolfe explains "Why People Who Don’t Have Children Deserve a More Inclusive Label" on the Life Without Children Substack. 
• Subhead: "Childless, childfree, non-parent…we shouldn’t have to define ourselves as the inverse of those who have kids."  
• (Related: The THIRD post I wrote for this blog, back in November 2007, pondered this question of unsatisfactory terminology: "Am I childLESS or childFREE?")  
• Here's an excerpt from Wolfe's post: 

Why do childless and childfree women often do so much soul-searching trying to settle on just the right label when mothers just get to be mothers without any need for distinction or an understanding of how they got there?

I can’t help but think that the answer is simple. Motherhood is the approved lifestyle choice for women in patriarchal cultures. Therefore, no matter how you got there, you get your gold star and no expectations to explain your circumstances.

Being a woman without children, however, will earn you judgment, criticism, and even hate. You can’t just say you don’t have children. People want to know why — and even though it’s rude as hell to ask, they will.

Maybe it just feels easier to preempt the invasive questions by carefully choosing the word we want to use to describe our non-parent status.

• This story, from The New York Times Magazine, is just WILD:  "She Was Ready to Have Her 15th Child. Then Came the Felony Charges."  Subhead:  "MaryBeth Lewis’s desire to be a new mom again, at 65 years old, led to a custody battle like no other."  Among other things, it touches on IVF, donor gametes, surrogacy and adoption. (Gift link.) 
• Related to the NYT Magazine article and the Lewis case, Jill Filipovic wrote a thoughtful post for her Substack, asking "Is it a Reproductive Right to Have Your 15th Child at 65?"  (Subhead:  "When women's desires and children's rights collide.")  
• Unfortunately, I believe it's paywalled for subscribers only -- but I can give you a taste of what's in it. The opening reads: 

Reproductive freedom is a core feminist principle. So are the rights of children. What happens, though, when those principles conflict? And in an era of incredible technological progress in assisted reproduction, should there be any limits to what women can choose?

• And, near the end, there's this: 
  
  

  To be clear, I am a big supporter of reproductive medicine and technological progress, including IVF and various forms of assisted reproduction (I have more misgivings about surrogacy, but still think it should be legal, if tightly regulated). And most people, when handed these new technologies, use them in ways that I find totally reasonable and largely ethical.

  
  

  But there are always outliers...

  
  
• (I thought Jill Filipovic was childless/free, but a recent Instagram post showed her husband wearing a baby carrier and the top of an infant's head peeking out in some photos. I can find nothing she's written about having a baby -- and a few of the photos show her doing some pretty crazy yoga poses, with a body that looks anything but post-partum -- unless they've adopted...??) 

#MicroblogMondays: The dog ate my #MM post

Okay, I don't have a dog. And I AM posting today, albeit later than I usually do on a #MM.  

However, I do have an excuse. 

I'll be honest, I didn't have anything drafted or planned in advance for a post today. I figured I'd have plenty of time today to think of something to write about.... and then write about it. But morning drifted into early afternoon...  

I was enjoying a large mug of tea (with milk and sugar), sometime before 2 PM, when... disaster. The half-full mug slipped out of my hands, sloshed all over my brand new WHITE top and yoga pants, onto the chair (fortunately, leather and wipeable) -- AND onto the keyboard of the laptop, sitting in my lap. (Thankfully, only a few drops got on the floor.) 

I sat there, stunned, for a moment. Dh sprang into action, unplugged the computer & took it over to the kitchen counter. I recovered my senses, got up and turned it upside down over the sink, to try to drain as much of the tea as I could out of the keyboard. Dh got the dishcloth & started wiping it down, then my wooden lapdesk (which the laptop sits on in my lap), and the chair.  

Once we'd mopped up most of the liquid we could see, I (finally) turned it off. I wiped down the keyboard with a cotton pad soaked in rubbing alcohol, and cleaned around/between the keys with cotton swabs also dipped in rubbing alcohol. (Note to self: must do this more often... ewww.....).  

I grabbed my phone and Googled "spilled tea on laptop keyboard" to try to figure out what else we should be doing. One post suggested turning it upside down over a towel. I think this would apply more to a conventional (desktop computer) keyboard vs a laptop -- I was afraid that opening up the laptop too far/wide might damage it (more than I might have already) -- so what I did was open it up, set a towel over the keyboard, close it and then turn it over, so that the keyboard part was facing down into the towel (and when I checked, there was a little more wetness coming off the keyboard, so it was obviously the right thing to do).  

Then I went to the bedroom and changed out of my wet clothes, spritzed my top with stain remover, and hung them up to dry (before putting them in the laundry). And then I called my personal Geek Squad -- i.e., my sister's techie partner -- for advice. 

I was relieved when he told me I was on the right track. He suggested that I should open the laptop up, turn it on its side (like an open book), and set it in front of a fan to help it dry out faster. I asked him how long I should keep it off before trying to turn it on, and he said a couple of hours should do the trick. He said the likeliest problem would be the keys getting gummed up.  

I held my breath, plugged it in after about 5 hours, and pressed "start."  

So far, so good. (Fingers crossed.)  I even managed to reopen all the tabs I'd had going before I shut everything down and pick up where I left off. (Thank you, Chrome History!)  

Next on the agenda:  That backup I've been procrastinating on doing... (I DID do one a month ago.)  

(Please tell me I'm not the only klutz this kind of thing has happened to...)

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.