Right now

Right now...* 

*(an occasional (mostly monthly) meme, alternating from time to time with "The Current"). (Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first "The Current" post, here.)

Pandemic diary/update: (LONG and cathartic -- for me, anyway! -- rant ahead!)  January was Month #22 going on #23 -- almost two full years -- of living with the COVID-19 pandemic (now including the Omicron variant, as well as the earlier Delta). 

December was a covid sh*tshow -- globally, nationally and here in Ontario -- as the highly contagious Omicron variant took hold, with skyrocketing new case numbers and hospital/ICU admissions, as well as swamped testing sites. January has not been much better. :(  Although there are recent signs that the worst of the Omicron surge may be over, stats (the ones we can get, anyway...!) are still high and, at their peak, were the worst of the entire pandemic. 

The previous pandemic record of 4800+ new case numbers, set back in April, was broken on Dec. 23rd, and then repeatedly and rapidly surpassed, reaching 10,412 on Christmas Day -- and then, to kick off January and the new year, 18,445 new cases on New Year's Day. :(  By then, the new case numbers stats had become essentially meaningless. Actual case numbers are likely much, much higher than reported:  by late December, testing sites were swamped and couldn't keep up with the demand for appointments, let alone process results in a timely way. 

And so -- instead of adding more resources -- the powers that be decided to restrict who can get a PCR test. There is no mechanism to report the results of a rapid test (assuming you can get your hands on one of those...) to be included in the official numbers. Additionally, schools and daycares are no longer required to report new cases, leaving parents completely in the dark :p -- although some boards are still doing so. And those testing positive but not showing symptoms only have to isolate for five days now, instead of the recommended 10.  

(Turia's two children go to school hereabouts, and she recently posted a great summary of what's happening -- more like NOT happening -- in that department, which explains things far better than I just did! And I completely agree with her interpretation of why the government is choosing to act -- or not act -- as it has.)  

In other words, we're flying blind right now. 

(I saw a tweet yesterday that said it all: "Omicron isn’t “under control” in Ontario. It’s just less out of control than it was before. Under control means 50,000+ tests per day and positivity under 5%. We are averaging 27,500 tests and have 15.3% positivity. Let’s not confuse “not testing” with “we’ve got this.” ") 

With the tests that HAVE been done and processed, positivity rates have remained high. Here in Ontario, the rate was about 32% at the beginning of the month and is currently around 14-15%. It's still over 30% in some other provinces, including my home province of Manitoba. (And yet some people there are up in arms because the government there extended restrictions by another week..!  They may have to wait a while longer...)  

There were 5,300+ new cases reported in Ontario on Friday (Jan. 28th) and 3,043 yesterday to close out the month -- a 7-day average of 4,548, down 29% from the previous week (which is somewhat encouraging) -- but as mentioned above, the true number of cases is likely far higher than reported because of the restrictions on testing. Even if those numbers were accurate (which they're not), that's still pretty high. (And people wonder why we still need restrictions??) 

Reporting emphasis has shifted to hospital admissions, ICU numbers and deaths, which can be counted (somewhat?) more accurately:  

• During January, hospitalizations climbed from 1,322 on Jan. 1st to 2,983 yesterday (Jan. 31st -- down 24% from the previous week). Hospitalizations peaked at 4,119 on Jan. 19th. The rate of unvaccinated patients being hospitalized was twice as high as those vaccinated. (Star) 
• There were 214 ICU beds filled on Jan. 1st, and 583 yesterday (with peak numbers of 626 on Jan. 25th). The rate of unvaccinated in the ICU was four (4) times that of the vaccinated. (Star) 
• There were 12 deaths reported on Jan. 1st and 32 on Jan. 31st, peaking at 92 on Jan. 26th. The change in the seven-day average from last week was +17%.  
• More than 1,100 people in Ontario died of covid during the month of January 2022 alone, making it one of the top three deadliest months of the pandemic to date. 

In the two years since the pandemic began (our first case was in late January 2020), Ontario has logged more than 1 million cases of covid and more than 11,400 deaths. For Canada as a whole, those numbers are almost 3 million and 33,000+, respectively. 

As of yesterday, 84.8% of Ontarians have had at least one shot and 79.8% are fully vaccinated (including those aged 5 & under, who are not yet eligible). Canada-wide, 79.2% of people are fully vaccinated. ("Fully vaccinated" = two doses, although some are lobbying to change that to include boosters/third doses.) 

(I've used numbers from both CBC News's pandemic tracker for Ontario and The Toronto Star, which differ slightly, albeit not substantially.)  

Underfunded and understaffed even before the pandemic, our healthcare system -- the pride of most Canadians -- is staggering under incredible strain right now. Two hospitals near us declared a "code orange" earlier in January, suspending all non-urgent programs and services to help ease the pressures caused by increased covid cases among patients and covid-related staffing shortages. In another hospital about 45 minutes away, kitchen staff were roped into helping out in the wards. One day, I saw a tweet indicating that there were currently NO ambulances/EMS services available anywhere in the city of Toronto. 

Scary, scary stuff. :(    

The provincial government initially announced on Dec. 30th that it was pushing back the start date for in-person school from Jan. 3rd to the 5th, to give schools time to ramp up safety measures (what? like, the past two years weren't time enough??).  A few days later, on Jan. 3rd, they announced that classes would be virtual until Jan. 17th, along with a number of other measures, including closing indoor dining (takeout, drive-through and delivery only permitted), gyms and other recreational sport venues, museums, galleries and other attractions;  imposing new, lower capacity limits on non-essential retail stores and other businesses; and pausing non-urgent medical procedures for at least three weeks (until Jan. 26th).  The premier himself (finally) showed up to make the announcement, after being inexplicably absent from the public eye for more than two weeks while the pandemic raged.  

Despite the dismal numbers, the premier announced on Jan. 20th that many indoor public venues -- including restaurants, bars, gyms and movie theatres -- could reopen on Jan. 31st (yesterday) at 50% capacity. Further capacity increases are planned for Feb. 21st, and all capacity limits on indoor spaces will be lifted on March 14th (assuming things continue to go well, of course...). Proof of vaccination and masking requirements will (thankfully) continue to remain in place for the foreseeable future. 

Meanwhile, more and more of our politicians and chief medical officers are telling us that we have to "learn to live with covid." (Ummm, no thank you... I am not ready to throw in the towel/mask just yet!) 

This past weekend, as the month ended, a convoy of truckers and their supporters (about 8,000 people in all) from across Canada converged on Ottawa -- our national capital, and a city I love -- (supposedly) to protest the recently introduced vaccine mandates (in both Canada AND the U.S.) for those in their industry who cross the border, either way. (85-90% of Canadian truckers are already vaccinated.) But the truckers' specific concerns were drowned out by ranting about vaccines and vaccine mandates generally, as well as other public health measures and pandemic restrictions, plus a lot of general anti-government/anti-prime minister rhetoric.  Many of the most prominent organizers and supporters are not truckers at all. Some have ties to right-wing/western separatist/white supremacist groups and causes, and a lot of the language being used comes straight from the American right-wing extremist/MAGA playbook. Authorities warned of the potential for January 6th-style violence, and advised members of Parliament to take precautions and secure their homes. 

So far, the demonstrations have been non-violent (in the January 6th sense, anyway) -- but not especially peaceful or respectful. As one resident wrote for the Toronto Star, "...the people who live in the city’s core feel unsafe leaving their homes among the throngs of trucks and angry, sometimes intoxicated, protesters." Among the most prominent incidents so far: 

• Confederate, Gadsen and Nazi swastika flags were flying on Parliament Hill along with altered versions of our Maple Leaf, and yellow mock-stars of David were being worn by some. 
• A mall near Parliament Hill had to close because the (unmasked) protesters were gathering there and harassing staff.  Other local businesses also closed their doors.  
• Staff at local hotels reported confrontations with protesters staying there. 
• Despite more than $8 million collected through Go Fund Me to defray costs, some protesters descended upon a downtown homeless shelter, demanded to be fed and assaulted one of the clients. 
• They draped flags, hats and signs on the statue of Terry Fox, one of our country's greatest heroes (who ran halfway across the country on one good leg to raise money to support scientific research for a cure for the cancer that ultimately killed him in 1981, at age 22). (I wrote about Terry -- who was not much older than me -- here.) 
• Most despicable of all was the desecration of the beautiful National War Memorial near Parliament Hill. First, they parked on the site (police requested they move, and wound up towing some vehicles away). A young woman was filmed defiantly dancing on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Others used the monument as a toilet, as photos of yellow spots in the snow demonstrate. Real classy. 

(En route to Ottawa, the protesters parked overnight at the suburban Toronto-area mall dh & I frequented, pre-covid, about 20 minutes from our home... and at least one person we know was present among the local crowds lining highway overpasses, cheering on the convoy as it passed by and posting photos later in their social media feeds. Needless to say, I've been prompted to snooze/mute/unfollow a few more people over the past week...!).  

And -- there's ANOTHER variant lurking in the wings that may be even more contagious than omicron...!

Needless to say, I am VERY glad to see this month end. (And I haven't even touched on the weather yet...!) 

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On the personal pandemic front:  We returned home from our Christmas visit to my family out west on Sunday, Jan. 2nd. Older Nephew & his wife both came down with covid in the week between Christmas and New Year's, and it's likely Little Great-Nephew did too :(  -- they didn't test him, but he ran a fever and was throwing up for a few days, poor little guy. :(   (They are all fine now.) A number of dh's cousins & their families also tested positive over the holidays -- some of them while on vacation in Florida. SIL was feeling crappy, too. BIL picked us up at the airport on Jan. 2nd, and ALL of us kept our N95/equivalent masks on in the car!  The next morning (Monday), dh went out for groceries and delivered our one precious unopened box of five rapid tests to SIL. (Negative, thankfully.) 

Then he came home and didn't leave the condo (other than to take the Christmas decorations down to our storage locker, and pick up the mail on the way back up) until the next Monday (Jan. 10th), when he went on a grocery run to the supermarket again. I didn't go out, and we didn't go to see LGN, until my birthday, Jan. 12th.  

It was my 61st birthday. I'd been hoping to take a trip to the art gallery near us to view one of the exhibits that closed on Jan. 31st ("Uninvited: Canadian Women Artists in the Modern Moment")(if you can't get to a beach...??) -- but the gallery was temporarily closed (again, as of Jan. 5th), as part of the latest restrictions mentioned above. Instead, we spent a few hours in the morning with SIL & LGN, picked up some takeout soup for lunch on the way back home, and ordered in pizza for dinner. Dh also picked up a couple of cupcakes that we had for dessert. I talked to my parents and my sister, and downloaded a few new books for my Kobo e-reader as a present to myself.  It was a nice day overall. :) 

On top of dh's usual (once or twice weekly) trips to the supermarket for groceries and for occasional takeout lunches & dinners (fewer than usual recently, because of my gallstone issues), and to visit Little Great-Nephew at BIL & SIL's (4 times, including once on my birthday and once to stay with him while SIL went to a medical appointment), we went to the drugstore on Jan. 20th to pick up prescriptions & some other things we needed (e.g., I realized that all the cold medications I had stocked up on at the beginning of the pandemic were now past their expiry date!). We got haircuts on Jan. 23rd, and went for our semi-annual checkups and cleanings at the dentist on Jan. 25th (postponed from the 17th, when we had a huge winter storm, and then changed again from the 26th). 

And that's it!  

The Elton John concert that SIL & I bought tickets for, way back in November 2019 -- originally scheduled for March 29th, 2020, then rescheduled for Feb. 15th, 2022 -- was postponed again to March 13th. There was an option to ask for a refund within 7 days of the change in date -- and we decided to take it. :(   

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 5 books in January (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads, & tagged  "2022 books"):  

• "Ghosts" by Dolly Alderton (December's pick for the Gateway Women/NoMo book club). My review. 
• "The Story Girl" by L.M. Montgomery, which my L.M. Montgomery Readathon group on Facebook began reading together & discussing on January 10th. I read the entire thing on my own, and will count it as a re-read when we finish our group discussion in April. My review. 
• "My Sister the Serial Killer" by Oyinkan Braithwaite (the January pick for the Gateway Women/NoMo book club).  My review. 
• "The Man Who Died Twice" by Richard Osman (a sequel to "The Thursday Murder Club"). My review. 
• "Taste" by Stanley Tucci. My review. 

This brings me to 5 books read so far in 2022 -- 11% of my 2022 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books.  I am (for the moment, anyway) 2 books ahead of schedule. :)

Current read(s): 

• "Chasing History" by Carl Bernstein 
• "The Story Girl" by L.M. Montgomery -- a group read with my LMM Readathon group on Facebook.   
• "Charlotte Fairlie" (also known as "The Fair Isle" and "Blow the Wind Southerly") by D.E. Stevenson, which I read myself over Christmas, and which my DES group began reading together in early January. 
• "The Menopause Manifesto" by Dr. Jen Gunter. 

Coming up: 

(Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and this is a great place for me to keep track of what I should read next, lol.) 

• My "Clever Name" book club went on hiatus until after Christmas, and still hasn't started up again -- which means the reading list has been pushed back by a couple of months. Books scheduled for the next several months (that I haven't read yet) are (in order): 
• "Recipe for a Perfect Wife" by Karma Brown  
• "Donna Has Left the Building" by Susan Jane Gilman  
• "Equal Justice: My Journey as a Woman, A Soldier, And a Muslim" by Rabia Siddique  
• "The Lost Apothecary" by Sarah Penner 
• "I Know This Much is True" by Wally Lamb 
• For the Gateway Women/NoMo book club: 
• "Misfits" by Michaela Coel (February) 
• For my D.E. Stevenson fan group (no set timeframes, but these are the next ones we've agreed to read after we finish the current book, in order):  
• "House of the Deer" 
• "Anna and her Daughters" 
• "Sarah Morris Remembers" 

Also: within the private online Gateway Women community, we've formed a group to discuss Jody Day's book, "Living the Life Unexpected," one chapter per month, in a live Zoom call. (There are actually two groups -- one that's more conducive to UK/European/Australasian time zones, and one for North Americans.) Our first call was Sunday afternoon. Completing all 12 chapters will take us a full year.  I'm not going to add this book to my "reading" list on Goodreads, although if/when we complete the full 12 chapters, I'll count it as another re-read. :)  

A few recently purchased titles (in digital format, mostly discounted or purchased with points -- we haven't been back to the local bookstore since before Christmas):   

• "The Taking of Jemima Boone" by Matthew Pearl 
• "Oh William!" by Elizabeth Strout 
• "Mothering Sunday" by Graham Swift 
• "Burnout" by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski 
• "Everything Happens for a Reason" by Kate Bowler 
• "The Almost Legendary Morris Sisters" by Julie Klam 
• "Group" by Christie Tate 
• "Clementine" by Sonia Purnell 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** 

Watching:  Figure skating -- both Canadian & U.S. nationals, on the same (first) weekend of the month -- partly streaming online & partly on TV.  Canadians was in Ottawa -- just a couple of hours' drive away -- and if not for covid, I might have considered buying tickets and going to be there live. (I've attended nationals in 1982 & 1998, and had a blast.)  As it was, the competition was held in an empty arena :(  and several competitors either had to withdraw because they'd come down with covid, or had sub-par performances because they'd just recovered from it. :p  But there were still some great skates to watch! 

Season 8 of "Finding Your Roots" on PBS.  Always fascinating!  

(Getting ready to watch:  the Winter Olympics from Beijing. I checked the CBC schedule, and coverage of the team event for figure skating begins on Thursday evening my time... the "regular" skating events mostly begin between 5 and 6 a.m...!  Guess I will be setting an alarm clock on those mornings... I am yawning already...!)(I much prefer to watch the events live, if I can, versus the canned replays later on.)  

Listening: Catching up on some podcasts. I was a few episodes behind on "The Full Stop" (caught up now!), and discovering some new ones -- including 1in5, which I heard about via Jody Day.  Jody has been on a few good ones lately too  :) -- links and transcripts of podcasts she's appeared on are available here (most recent first). 

Eating/Drinking:  Panettone. :) It's kind of like the Italian version of Christmas fruitcake, although it's more like a bread -- much lighter and yeast-ier than traditional fruitcake -- filled with bits of dried/candied fruit. (It's also usually available around Eastertime.)  We usually wind up with at least one and sometimes more at this time of year, all given to us by dh's relatives.  SIL gave us one at Christmastime, just before we left to head west, and it was waiting for us when we returned. Dh has no use for the things (silly boy!) and was inclined to just throw it out (he threw out one that stepMIL had given us, when we visited her earlier in December), but I kind of like them (although some are better/more tasty than others). (Plus, I hate wasting perfectly good food.) This one had cranberries in it, and (I think?) some alcohol. Quite tasty! I ate the entire thing myself (!), over about a week. ;)  

Then... we went over to SIL's on my birthday, and she gave us a bottle of wine and... another panettone (!) that dh's cousin & his wife (the ones who hosted us at their cottage this past fall) had asked her to pass along to us. This one was filled with salted caramel and chocolate. Not traditional, but definitely delicious!   

For my birthday dinner on Jan. 12th, we ordered our favourite wood oven thin crust pizzas for takeout -- pepperoni for dh, potato for me (thinly sliced Yukon Gold potatos with caramelized onions & pancetta bacon, mozzarella and fresh rosemary, no sauce). Red velvet cupcakes for dessert. And enough leftover pizza for another dinner later. So yummy -- but unfortunately, the pizza irritated my gallstones, both nights I had it. Not badly, but enough to be noticeable. Sigh... 

Panettone and pizza aside, I'm still trying to eat carefully. (Perhaps not quite as carefully as I was, pre-Christmas, but still with some measure of caution.)  Between my tomato allergy and gallstones to consider, plus shortages in the supermarket, it's sometimes it's a struggle to figure out what to make for dinner...!

Craving: Several of the local Italian restaurants/bakeries in my social media feeds have already started promoting their yummy zeppole pastries, which are traditionally made/eaten around St. Joseph's Day (March 19th) (although some bakeries offer them year-round). I may have to ask dh to pick me up some on his next supermarket run...!  

A Nanaimo bar. ;)  We always have a tray of them at Christmastime (bought at the store, although I have my grandmother's recipe) -- but I realized on the way back home that while I cut them up and plated them for us to snack on (along with butter tarts and shortbread -- which I did sample!), on Christmas Eve, I didn't actually have a piece myself!!  

Buying (besides books, lol):  I ordered a few things from post-Christmas sales online:  some Christmas-themed waffle-weave pajama tops from Old Navy, and a few T-shirts and flannel shirts from Lucky Brand. I also just ordered a couple of pretty sweaters on sale from Cleo (a Canadian women's wear chain), and some essential oils on sale from Saje (taking advantage of a 30% off sale to restock some of my favourites). 

I ordered another box of five rapid tests, at a post-Christmas sale price on Jan. 3rd, which was back-ordered, with an estimated delivery date of mid-January. (We're still waiting to get them...! -- although I got a notice yesterday that they *should* be delivered today.)  And I've ordered a couple more packages of N95-equivalent masks (when they finally came back into stock, and I was finally able to complete an order before they sold out again!). 

I also renewed my membership at the McMichael Canadian Art Collection for another two years -- even though I barely got to use it at all these past two years because of covid. :(  It's a real treasure, worth supporting, and I love going there. (Worth a visit if you are in the Toronto area and have an interest in Canadian art!) 

I also decided to support some of the writers whose work I admire, and paid for a subscription to Medium, as well as subscriptions to a few of my favourite Substack newsletters. (Plus I was tired of running into paywalls for subscriber-only content...!)  

Wearing: More necklaces recently. I used to wear necklaces a lot when I was in high school, university & my 20s. Then I kind of got out of the habit. (I don't wear much jewelry of any kind around the house -- not even my wedding/engagement rings. I mostly just put in a pair of stud earrings every day, to keep my ear piercings from closing up!)  But I've bought a couple of necklaces recently from my favourite sterling silver jewelry maker, and received a few more over Christmas through the advent calendar I bought from her, so I figured I should start wearing them more often. 

Trying:  To keep busy and upbeat despite the depressing news and the cold. 

Wanting: An end to this pandemic, already!!  (I must admit I have no confidence that we'll be done with it by the end of 2022... although I hold onto a sliver of hope that things might be at least *somewhat* better by then...???) 

Enjoying:  Spending a few hours every week with Little Great-Nephew again, after being away for a few weeks over Christmas. 

Noticing: The days are (gradually!) starting to get a little longer... it's a little lighter, early in the morning, and it doesn't get as dark as fast in the late afternoon. Progress! and a small boost to the spirits!  

Wondering:  How many (more) people I know have had covid but just aren't saying so (at least not on social media)?? I suspect there's a few... 

Prioritizing: Staying safe -- and staying warm. ;) 

Waiting: For the Super Bowl to (FINALLY!) bring an end to the NFL season! Apologies to any fans out there, but I find it endless and boring! 

Hoping: That the predictions of yet another snowstorm later this week don't pan out...!  

Dreading:  "Family Day," coming up in February (the 21st). I'm already seeing ads in my social media feeds from restaurants offering special menus for "Family Day dinners for 4." Way too much food for MY little family of two...!  

Loving/Appreciating: Seeing clear blue skies and sunshine outside again recently (even if it's been extremely cold here for most of January!)(and even colder with the wind chill factored in!).  

Feeling: Cold, slightly stir-crazy, and completely sick of winter (already!). 

#MicroblogMondays: Being prepared

Both Bamberlamb and Mali recently posted about their support networks (or lack thereof), particularly vis-a-vis covid.  Mali is (sadly) facing the spread of Omicron in New Zealand, which has not yet been affected by the pandemic to the same extent that some countries have. 

Think about it: who would be able to help you out with groceries, etc., should you be confined to your house because of covid? Those of us who are childless probably have reason to ponder these questions more than parents:  we lack the robust social networks they develop through their children's schools, activities and neighbourhood friends, and we may not have any extended family members living close by either. (Being closer to family was, of course, a key reason why dh & I moved here, almost -- gulp! -- six years ago now.)  

Commenters from the northern hemisphere, where we've been dealing with this beast for a full two years now (ugh!), chimed in with advice for Mali -- about the willingness of neighbours to help when asked; about the proliferation of delivery services available; tips about choosing, wearing and storing masks; and lists of items that can be stockpiled in advance. 

I added a few pieces of my own advice. Just before things started locking down here in March 2020, I read an article advising people to stock up on the things you would normally want to have on hand in case you came down with a cold or flu.  I already had a lot of these things on hand anyway (e.g., a thermometer) -- but I took the opportunity to check what supplies I had, and to stock up on some bottles of Motrin (ibuprofen/Advil) and Tylenol (acetominophen), as well as packages of cold pills and throat lozenges, bottles of saline nasal spray and cough syrup, etc. (Another good item to have on hand in case of covid, which I have yet to purchase: a pulse oximeter, which checks the levels of oxygen in your blood, simply by putting a clothespin-type sensor on your finger.  If your levels start dipping into the low 90s, you know it's time to head to the hospital.) 

I recently saw another similar article, which prompted me to check out my stockpile again.  Would you believe a lot of the things I'd purchased in March 2020 have already expired/gone past their "best before" dates, or are close to it?  I was at the drugstore last week to pick up some prescriptions, and since I was there, I took the opportunity to replace those items. 

In her post, Bamberlamb mentioned buying and stocking an extra freezer with staples, which came in handy when both she & her husband came down with covid last year -- also an excellent idea, I thought. Unfortunately, dh & I don't have room in our condo for an extra appliance, and one of the few things I dislike about our unit is that the freezer compartment/drawer in the refrigerator (left by the previous owners) is not that big. Likewise, while we have a decent amount of cupboard space for a condo (probably the most of any condo unit we looked at before we bought), there’s not as much room to stockpile extras as there was at our old house (we had shelves below the basement stairs where I’d keep extra canned goods, paper goods like toilet paper, paper towels and kleenex, lightbulbs, etc.) -- and as my mother and both grandmothers did before me.   

But although our storage space is limited, there's still room enough in both freezer/fridge and cupboards to stockpile enough food to last us for at least a week.  Dh was never one for keeping a lot of extras around -- especially since our old house was, conveniently, a short walk away from both a supermarket and a drugstore — but since that initial run on toilet paper and other groceries at the start of the pandemic, he’s seen the wisdom in it! (I know some people in our building store a lot of canned and paper goods in their storage lockers downstairs.)  

How about you? Do you have a social network you could rely on if you got sick and had to isolate?  Do you like to keep a stockpile of "just in case" essentials? Has covid changed your outlook on this? 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Elton John, covid, and where have I heard this before?

So -- latest plot twist -- Elton John has covid, and has had to reschedule more shows in the U.S. , just days after he returned to the stage after an almost two-year delay in his tour.  :(  

Now, as I said in my last post, SIL & I have applied for a refund for our tickets for March 13th -- so I don't have a dog in this hunt anymore, so to speak -- but I'm still following the story because I'm curious how it's all going to shake out...! And of course, I want Elton to get better and finish his tour. I hope it's a mild case (sounds like it, so far) and that he has a speedy recovery. 

But with this latest twist, I found myself more thankful than ever that SIL & I had decided to cut our losses and ask for the refund, rather than continue to live with the uncertainty -- will our concert go ahead? will he have to cancel/reschedule (again!)? will the provincial capacity restrictions be lifted in time to allow the concert to go ahead? (And now: will Elton recover from covid in time to make the currently scheduled concert date?)  etc. etc. etc.  And, while I'm disappointed that we won't get to see him as we had planned, it's kind of a relief to have the issue (FINALLY) settled, one way or another. 

And it occurred to me that, hmmm, this felt familiar somehow...? 

Think about it:  what other time in my life have I made a decision (albeit one that was a lot more consequential than whether to keep trying to go to a concert that may or may not happen, in the middle of a global pandemic...!) to cut my losses, exert some control where I could and move forward with my life?  When else have I felt regret that something I had really looked forward to doing wasn't going to happen after all -- but at the same time, relief that the continued uncertainty, the constant feeling of being jerked around by forces outside of my control, was finally at an end?  

Well, if you're a reader of this blog, you know the answer. ;)  

In a similar vein, I haven't told too many people yet that SIL & I aren't going to the concert after all. I imagine that some people, hearing that we've decided to ask for a refund, might be thinking that well, we must not have wanted to see him very much after all, right? That we were SO CLOSE to March 13th;  that if we had just hung on to our tickets a little longer, we could have seen him. That our worries about covid are no big deal, that we should learn to think more positively and we'd achieve what we wanted. That all feels familiar too.  

Or am I stretching the comparison here?  ;)  

Have you ever recognized echoes of your infertility/loss journey and life lessons in other, seemingly unrelated situations, further down the road of your life? 

Odds & ends & updates

• An update to my recent post about the Elton John concert (originally scheduled for March 29,
  2020, then rescheduled for Feb. 15, 2022):  on Wednesday, SIL told me she'd received a Facebook events notification that our concert date had been rescheduled (again!!) and was now going to be March 13th.  I checked my Ticketmaster app, and yep, that was the new date. 
• I got an official email from Ticketmaster the next day about the change of date. It also said, "A voluntary refund window is available for 7 days for any fans unable to attend the newly scheduled date."  
• I talked it over with SIL... and we decided to ask for the refund. :(  There didn't seem to be a simple way to do it via the app, but the email did say "Questions? Please reply to this email" so that's what I did, providing our seat numbers, transaction number, etc. (albeit NOT my credit card number!). 
• I did eventually figure out how to request a refund through the app, and submitted that on Sunday afternoon. Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly!  (It could take up to 30 days to process.)  
• I figured that March 13th was still highly optimistic -- in fact, under the provincial government's current reopening plans (which are subject to change, depending on how things go...), capacity limits on large events venues (like arenas) will not be lifted until March 14th -- the day AFTER the concert!  Even if the concert did go ahead then, I just wasn't comfortable with the whole idea -- I just wouldn't have a good time, under the circumstances. As it turned out, SIL was of the same mind, so we decided to try to cut our losses and apply for the refund (total purchase, including taxes & fees, $566.75 -- not exactly peanuts). I had kept a printout of the transaction from when I bought the tickets -- Nov. 22, 2019.  We had NO idea then, did we??  :( 

• In a similar vein: our dentists' appointments, which were cancelled last Monday because of a snowstorm and rescheduled for this Wednesday, have now been moved up to Tuesday/tomorrow. The office called us this morning to ask if we could reschedule (again), because the new hygienist I was assigned to is "not available." (Whenever I hear this now, I immediately suspect covid.)  
• The thing about rescheduling appointments that annoys me most is that I still keep a paper planner/datebook (Filofax), and crossing things out makes everything look messy, lol.  I used to use white-out when I was still working and had easy access to a bottle at the office, but it's harder to find these days, and even when I do buy a bottle for myself, I use it so infrequently that it's usually dried out by the next time I open it up to use it...!   

• Back in October, I wrote that it had been 40 (!!) years since dh & I met at university. Saturday night was 40 years since our "official" first date. Searching my blog archives (I love that I can do that...!), I found this post from 10 years ago, describing that date 30 years after the fact.  As I said on Facebook, there's still nobody I'd rather share my popcorn with. ;)  (Even though we haven't been to a movie theatre in two years because, covid...)  
• We ordered in pizza for dinner and tried to figure out how FORTY YEARS (!!) can fly by so fast. As I said to dh, did you ever imagine then that 40 years later, we'd be sitting in a condo in this community, childless and retired, in the middle of a global pandemic??  (I don't think anyone could have...) 

• I thought of Jody Day's hashtag, the #friendshipapocalypse of childlessness, when I read this article in The Atlantic. Its focus is the difficulty of maintaining friendships with friends who have children, after pregnancy loss &/or infertility. Potential trigger alert: the author has a five-year-old son, but only mentions him at the outset, and there's an ultrasound photo as well as the photo of an empty cradle at the top of the story. Sample passage: 

For some people, realizing that they can’t become biological parents easily or at all reorients their entire life—including their relationships. “We imagine having children around a similar time as our friends and seeing our children grow together … and that’s the next chapter of our friendship stories,” Kirmayer [Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist focused on friendship] said. Not being able to continue in sync and suddenly not having as much in common can feel like another kind of loss, she added. On the other side of the equation, friends who are busy with new parenthood may lack the energy to nurture a relationship with someone they have less and less in common with.

Still, I want to believe that rock-solid, unconditional friendships exist. That they can weather the joys of parenthood and the brutal isolation of infertility. That they’re big enough for both the parent who’s overwhelmed by child-rearing in a society devoid of support and the person who would do anything to be in the same daunting position. That both sides have full lives, which are sometimes gratifying and sometimes back-breakingly difficult. 

• I listened to "Childless," the radio documentary/podcast I mentioned a few posts/days ago, featuring Irish journalist Hilary Fennell, Jody Day and several other childless-not-by-choice women living in Ireland (with those delightful accents ;)  ) sharing their experiences of life without children. It's an excellent 45-minute introduction to the topic that will hopefully open some eyes and spur further (much-needed) conversation on the subject. You can listen here. It's also available on Apple & Spotify.   
• Jody & Hilary will be hosting a Q&A on Zoom on Thursday, Jan. 27th at 2 p.m. Eastern Time. Register here to participate or to receive a recording of the conversation later. 

"Taste" by Stanley Tucci

Stanley Tucci has been nothing less than stellar in every movie and/or TV show I've ever seen him in (including "Big Night," in which he and Tony Shalhoub play immigrant brothers running a restaurant)... and last year, his food/travel show on CNN, "Searching for Italy,"  helped make the pandemic just a wee bit more bearable. 

Now he's written a book, a memoir that revolves around food: "Taste: My Life Through Food."  And there are a few recipes thrown in for good measure. :) 

While I didn't grow up in an Italian family, I married into one 36+ years ago -- and I can confirm that Tucci's stories about Italians and food ring true, both from my own experiences/observations and the stories I've heard from dh, his brother, SIL and cousins, among others. :)  (Both Tucci's family and dh's come from the same region of Italy  -- Calabria, right in the toe of "the boot.")

And even if I didn't grow up eating Italian food (Chef Boyardee doesn't count), Tucci is just two months older than I am (I checked! -- he was born November 11, 1960) -- so I can definitely relate to his memories of growing up in a small town (in New York) in the 1960s and 70s. We also get some behind-the-scenes stories from the movies & TV shows he's worked on, his real-life experiences working in restaurants, memories of living in New York City in the early 1980s, glimpses of his family life, his alarming bout with oral cancer (which temporarily robbed him of the ability to taste and smell), and more. 

The second season of "Searching for Italy" begins on CNN on March 13th. I can't wait! :) In the meantime, this was a great read. If you're not hungry when you start reading, you will be when you put it down. ;)  My only quibble:  I wanted more. ;)  

5 stars on Goodreads 

This was Book #5 read to date in 2022 (and Book #5 finished in January), bringing me to 11% of my 2022 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 3 books ahead of schedule. :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2022 tagged as "2022 books."  

CNBC odds & ends

• Gateway Women's Jody Day is one of six childless-not-by-choice women featured in a groundbreaking radio documentary airing Jan. 23rd (and repeating Jan. 29th) in Ireland. It will also be available as a podcast after that. Producer/director/writer Hilary Fennell -- herself CNBC -- explores what it means to be involuntarily childless in a child-centred society. An article about the program appeared in the Irish newspaper The Independent on Sunday.  
• Says Jody: "Hilary would really like to make a film about childlessness too, but getting the funding for it really depends on this radio documentary proving that it's a 'worthwhile' subject that enough people are interested in. (I know, what could possibly be interesting about something that impacts 20% of women?!)"  
• Please read, listen and share!   
• Gateway Women's Karin Enfield deVries and Sarah Lawrence are hosting a free masterclass webinar this coming Saturday (Jan. 22nd) about "Finding Community and Connection as a Childless Woman." Use the link to find out more and register!  
• The latest Culture Study newsletter from Anne Helen Petersen -- who is childfree by choice --  explains "Why No One Can Hear Parents Screaming." Although it's parent-centric, it's still worth a read, because it's a plea for greater empathy and understanding all round -- for moving outside our comfort zones, for spending more time and making more connections with people whose lives might not be exactly like our own.  A couple of quotes: 
• "Part of the problem is that at this point in the pandemic, everyone is tired. Many of us are currently the least generous or thoughtful version of ourselves. But an even bigger part of the problem is a generalized lack of empathy: we struggle to make space for the experiences of anyone who is not us and/or part of our close intimate circle. I spent far less time considering the ramifications of various policies and postures on disabled people, for example, until a member of my close family became disabled. I’m not proud of this, but it’s not uncommon. Many of us don’t know about the contours of another person’s struggles and successes until we’re forced to." 
• "I’m often asked how and why I spend so much time thinking and writing about parenthood, when I’ve chosen not to be a parent myself. The first part of that answer is that I’m angry, every day, that we’ve chosen to make our current society so hostile to parents (and mothers in particular) that the prospect of becoming one felt like willfully choosing to enter a losing war."
• "And while I know parents are tired, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that this work also requires reaching out to friends who don’t have kids, who aren’t working for pay, who don’t have a partner for whatever reason, who aren’t part of a dominant and written-about part of society and asking: what do you need right now?" [emphasis mine] 

"The Man Who Died Twice" by Richard Osman

Having (finally!) caught up on my book club obligations for the next while, I was free to read something completely of my own choosing. "The Man Who Died Twice" by Richard Osman has been in my TBR pile since shortly after its release in late September, and I was happy to FINALLY dust it off. I woke up very early (way too early) on Monday/yesterday morning and couldn't get back to sleep, so I finally got up, took out my e-reader and started reading. I got 3/4 of the way through the book before reluctantly heading off to bed, and finished it this afternoon.  

"The Man Who Died Twice" is a sequel to one of my very favourite books from last year, "The Thursday Murder Club" (reviewed here), and picks up shortly after the last book left off, with a familiar cast of characters, and a few new ones too. I don't want to give too much away... suffice to say the plot involves an old friend of Elizabeth's (and I can only ever picture Helen Mirren when I read about Elizabeth) and 20 million British pounds' worth of stolen diamonds. 

"The Man Who Died Twice" features more of everything that I loved about "The Thursday Murder Club" -- the wonderful septuagenarian characters (all residents of Cooper's Chase, an upscale retirement village outside of London), the clever writing, the (frequent!) laugh-out-loud humour, the sharp observations (about life, death, aging, justice and so many other things), the clever plot twists & turns (and twists again)...  

Sequels don't always live up to the original. This one did. (For me, anyway.) Pure escapism, and just a whole lot of fun. Five stars on Goodreads.  

This was Book #4 read to date in 2022 (and Book #4 finished in January), bringing me to 9% of my 2022 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 2 books ahead of schedule. :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2022 tagged as "2022 books."